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Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder if the path you’re on is just not getting you where you want to go? Does it seem like you’re traveling rocky terrain and you can’t seem to build the type of momentum you expected? Many single believers feel this way about relationships and finding the right person. They’re wondering why it seems so challenging to meet someone who’s compatible and actually believes marriage is one of life’s treasures. Every day you wake up hoping it will be different from all the rest, and that you’ll meet the person that starts a new chapter for you. After a while, you start to wonder if things will ever go your way. There are folks that have gotten tired of waiting. They’ve stepped outside of Godliness and are doing whatever they want. You might be wondering if that’s a path you should take.

The first question you might consider asking yourself is “How important is it to me to wait on God?” Is this a requirement for a follower of Christ? Does God require those that are committed to Him to wait for the fulfillment of His promises? So many people have chosen not to do so. Especially in these times, more and more people are abandoning the spiritual discipline of waiting on God. Make no mistake, spiritual warfare is real, and the devil has used the desire for marriage to separate many singles from their relationship with God, and therefore, they are separated from the blessings He wants to give them.

This spiritual war began way before Adam and Eve were created. It began when satan, once a beautiful cherub, decided to rebel against Heavenly Father’s Will. The Lord said of satan in Ezekiel 28:12-15(NKJV), “You were the seal of perfection, Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering: the sardius, topaz, and diamond, Beryl, onyx, and jasper, Sapphire, turquoise, and emerald with gold. The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes was prepared for you on the day you were created. “You were the anointed cherub who covers; I established you; You were on the holy mountain of God; You walked back and forth in the midst of fiery stones. You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, till iniquity was found in you.”

Isaiah 14:12 tells us that God cut satan down to the ground because he destroyed the nations of the world and tried to exalt his throne above God’s stars. Isaiah 14:14 tells us that satan was full of arrogance and wanted to be like the Most High, so he was thrown out of heaven. The realm that satan oversees is utter destruction and darkness; he is trying to put us in that same bondage so that we will not fulfill the destiny in Christ that God has ordained for our lives. It is the battle of good versus evil, light versus darkness, faith versus fear, and God versus satan. The choice of which side we are going to be on is ever before us.

Psalm 27:14(NLT) says, “Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.” The reason that we can be brave and courageous in the wait is because the Lord does not disappoint. The Lord doesn’t fail. He is faithful to keep His promises and we can lean upon Him with absolute confidence. After a certain amount of time has gone by, we might be tricked into thinking that the Lord isn’t going to answer our prayers. We might think He’s forgotten about our need, and that He’s unhappy with us. Nothing could be further from the truth. God is working both in us and in the person that will walk with us through life.

Think about where you are and all the emotional ups and downs you’ve gone through during the process of waiting. You’ve had doubts, you’ve made mistakes, and you may have resented the time it is taking. You might think to yourself, “I’ve already been patiently waiting on the Lord, and nothing is happening.” Life does not begin with marriage, nor should the fulfillment of it be dependent on marriage. Our life is in Jesus Christ! Heavenly Father doesn’t punish us for not coming to grips with this reality, but He absolutely expects that we will learn it so we can walk by faith.

God has called us to His purpose, and there is much we are called to do. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears, and we will never escape this truth. We are in the fruit producing business, and it is a spiritual trade we must master before we think about marriage. Most of us spend so little time on Kingdom business. We’re on social media, our phones, at work or doing a million other things. Some of us spend 90 -95% of our time pursuing our own agendas, and then we get upset when God doesn’t reward our lack of attention to His purpose.

Significant relationships are probably one of the most rewarding ventures in life, but they are also very challenging. Spiritual maturity is a must to sustain them. And the truth is that if we have time to complain about waiting, we’re not busy enough with Kingdom pursuits. Each night, we should be so tired from running our races for Jesus that all we think about is praying and going to sleep. God cannot be an afterthought, and He will teach us to prioritize so that this is never the case in our lives.

2Peter 3:9(NLT) tells us, “The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” God’s timing is impeccable. It is so on point that it would blow our minds to know just how truly perfect His timing is. He doesn’t make mistakes, and He is not withholding our blessings. He is being patient for our sakes. He’s giving us time to sharpen our level of spiritual maturity so that we can handle the sometimes rocky terrain of marriage.

God doesn’t want us destroying one of His treasures, and He doesn’t want anyone harming us either. He doesn’t want us hurting someone and impeding their spiritual journey in Christ because we haven’t learned to be kind, compassionate, and unselfish. He doesn’t want anyone’s heart to be crushed by another person’s habit of carrying resentment, acting out in anger, and doubting His goodness. Heavenly Father is going to protect His treasures even when they don’t realize that this is what He’s doing. So, if you are wondering if you’ll have to wait longer, you might. But know that if you continue to do what He’s called you to do, and grow in Christ, He will answer your prayers and His timing will be perfect.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do You Ever Wonder?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 6, 2022
Work, Waiting, Want, and Will

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5(NLT) tells us, “4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I’m very partial to these verses. They resonate with me on a personal level. I was raised on a farm in the rural south, and my grandfather was a farmer with lots of land and plenty of farm animals. I know personally that farming is hard work. My grandfather would be up before the chickens. Sometimes during the day, we’d visit him in the chicken houses and play with the baby chicks. He never stopped working, not for rain or bad weather, not for sore muscles and aching bones, and not for the trivial things that impede many of us today. I don’t even think the word ‘perfect’ was in his vocabulary. Whatever degree of perfection existed in his mind came at the price of hard work, and there were no excuses. People often say today that men like my grandfather don’t exist anymore. To some extent that might be true, but it doesn’t take away from the reality that God uses the example of a farmer to paint a very clear picture for us, and as single believers, we can’t afford to miss it.

My grandfather wasn’t the type of man that waited around for things to happen; farming in his day didn’t allow that luxury. He was up rain or shine, cold or hot. He was planting, sowing, feeding, and picking; and he knew exactly how to perform this work. The thing about a farmer is that he or she `realizes they’re not the ones in charge of the harvest. God is in charge of the harvest. Jesus Christ tells us this in Matthew 9:38. He tells us to pray to Heavenly Father who is in charge of the harvest and ask Him to send more workers into His fields. This gives us all the perspective we need. Humans can’t control the necessary elements and ingredients to produce a harvest. We can’t control the rain or sunshine, nor can we make the soil. All of it was created by our Heavenly Father. Every good farmer knows that the most he or she can do is sow. He or she can plant seeds, pray for the favor of God, and trust Him to do all the rest. That’s an excellent spiritual lesson for the single believer praying for a spouse.

A man that is a farmer is motivated by many things. He’s motivated by the ability to take care of himself, and most importantly, he’s motivated to make a living to care for his family. No one has to tell him to be up at the crack of dawn. He understands it’s necessary for everything to stay on schedule and for the harvest to come in on time. This is a very key piece of discernment for a woman seeking a Godly man. Some males have no interest in being a provider, but being a provider is the mark of man. He’s not going out doing just any ol’ thing for coins. A man moves with the confidence and integrity of knowing his identity. He knows that as a provider, he will obtain favor from God for doing what a man is supposed to do.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 is speaking to us about work, waiting, want, and will. Work is the revealer of our faith. No farmer would plant seeds without faith that God will take care of the rest. Many complain that there’s no harvest in their lives or that the harvest they’ve received is not the harvest they expected, but the truth will always take us back to what we’ve planted or if we’ve planted at all. We’ve received our marching orders from our Master, Jesus Christ. The harvest is never the issue. It’s about the laborers. Will we do what God requires? Or will we wait on perfect weather and optimum conditions? With God, there are no excuses. We must be attentive to do what He requires and stop waiting to move into action. We need to get busy sowing the seeds of God’s Word, and Heavenly Father will take care of the rest.

Life isn’t about what we want for ourselves. It’s about what God wants for us. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes 5:5 that none of us know the path of the wind. Jesus Christ told Nicodemus in John 3:8(NLT), “The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” We can’t explain the wind, nor do we understand the mysteries of our spiritual rebirth in Christ. We don’t know the intricate details concerning a child growing in its mother’s womb. This is all God’s activity. It’s His creation. We can’t understand it, and we don’t need to. Our responsibility is to trust Him and trust His plan.

Ecclesiastes 11:6(NLT) tells us, “Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.” This is God’s Will! Sow your seed! Sow into your family, sow into your friends, sow into yourself, and most importantly, sow into God’s Kingdom. We can’t complain about the harvest when we’ve not done our part and sowed in the way God has commanded. God’s Will is for His people to be overwhelmingly happy and fulfilled, with a supportive spouse that loves them, but we must do our parts. Our seed investment is the revealer of our faith, and the harvest we receive will show exactly what we’ve planted. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Work, Waiting, Want, and Will”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 30, 2022
The Right Heart Will Put You at the Right Place at the Right Time

Luke 19:5-6(NLT)
“5 When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” 6 Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. 7 But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled.”

Luke 19 tells us that Zacchaeus was known throughout the region for being the chief tax collector, and he had become a very successful man. He was also a very short man, and in our day, the stigma about short men is common knowledge. Over the years, some in society have viewed shorter men as less strong or powerful, and because of this, some shorter men overcompensate. They feel the need to be over achievers, and overly aggressive or domineering. We don’t know if Zacchaeus felt this way, but we do know from God’s Word that he had earned himself a high rank and was viewed as a person of authority. Zacchaeus was rich, and Jesus Christ talked about how difficult it was for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Those with great possession and wealth make a habit of clinging to the entrapment of those things. They value wealth more than they do faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and this way of operating ends in damnation. Zacchaeus stands out because on the day he met Jesus Christ face to face, his short stature meant that he had to do quite a bit of maneuvering. He knew the encounter with Christ would change him forever, and that it would be a treasure more valuable than any in the earth. This record is a profound spiritual lesson for the believer, because it demonstrates the heart that is necessary to abide in the love, power, and faith of Jesus Christ.

Many single people are wondering why the quest to cross paths with the person that is right for their lives isn’t immediate. They want results on the double and don’t understand why this blessing doesn’t materialize on demand. Sometimes, the delay is due to how a person views the desire for marriage and how they are feeling about it in their hearts. They view it as a necessity, God views it as a reward for being faithful to His purpose. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing and perceiving the Word of God. When we break this down a little bit, we understand that faith can either be stagnant or faith can move. God’s Word is the truth. It is the definitive authority on every subject, aspect, and detail of life and living. God’s Word causes faith to come. Many single people don’t know the Word of God as well as they should, and you can’t have faith in something you don’t know or don’t believe. The knowledge of God’s Word that we do not know can cause us to walk around with a stagnant faith.

Given his short stature, Zacchaeus had a very strong determination, and it demonstrated his faith. To get through a crowd of others that were clamoring for the Master and to be able to climb a tree in hopes of getting a glimpse of Jesus Christ was evidence of how Zacchaeus had prioritized this encounter. He already had great wealth and affluence, yet these things had not fulfilled him. He knew there was more to life and would not let the opportunity to meet Jesus slip by him.

Every believer that is single and desiring marriage has to ask themselves if they feel this way about an encounter with Jesus Christ. At the time during which Zacchaeus desired to meet Christ, the new birth reality was not yet available. Zacchaeus did not have the Spirit of Christ dwelling within him, yet his desire for Christ far exceeds many of us living today.

We can’t fake the intentions of our hearts before God. He knows us too well. He knows us through and through, and He is fully aware of our motivations. This is one of the reasons that Zacchaeus received the tremendous blessing of salvation, because his heart was where it needed to be. The people in the crowd grumbled because they didn’t think Zacchaeus deserved to be in the company of the Master, but he had a heart for God, and this is all that mattered. James 2:26 gives us the definitive truth on this. It says, “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” Zacchaeus didn’t wait to be told how to demonstrate his thankfulness to God. Luke 19:8(NKJV) tells us, “Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.” This man’s deeds—his good works—demonstrated the condition of his heart. He wanted God to be pleased with his life and had done the things required to show it.

We must be clear that marital partnership isn’t necessary for ambassadorship in Christ, but commitment is. Jesus tells us in Luke 12:48 that to whom much is given, much is required. We must demonstrate our willingness to give our all to God through Jesus Christ. This is the attitude and heart-set that is rewarded. It was Zacchaeus’s heart that moved Jesus Christ to call him down from a sycamore tree. Zacchaeus had the right heart, and because he did, it put him at the right place at the right time. Let his example be your motivation, so that the same can be said of you. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Right Heart Will Put You at the Right Place at the Right Time”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 23, 2022
Showing God Your Proof

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5(NLT) tells us, “4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I’m very partial to these verses. They resonate with me on a personal level. I was raised on a farm in the rural south, and my grandfather was a farmer with lots of land and plenty of farm animals. I know personally that farming is hard work. My grandfather would be up before the chickens. Sometimes during the day, we’d visit him in the chicken houses and play with the baby chicks. He never stopped working, not for rain or bad weather, not for sore muscles and aching bones, and not for the trivial things that impede many of us today. I don’t even think the word ‘perfect’ was in his vocabulary. Whatever degree of perfection existed in his mind came at the price of hard work, and there were no excuses. People often say today that men like my grandfather don’t exist anymore. To some extent that might be true, but it doesn’t take away from the reality that God uses the example of a farmer to paint a very clear picture for us, and as single believers, we can’t afford to miss it.

My grandfather wasn’t the type of man that waited around for things to happen; farming in his day didn’t allow that luxury. He was up rain or shine, cold or hot. He was planting, sowing, feeding, and picking; and he knew exactly how to perform this work. The thing about a farmer is that he or she `realizes they’re not the ones in charge of the harvest. God is in charge of the harvest. Jesus Christ tells us this in Matthew 9:38. He tells us to pray to Heavenly Father who is in charge of the harvest and ask Him to send more workers into His fields. This gives us all the perspective we need. Humans can’t control the necessary elements and ingredients to produce a harvest. We can’t control the rain or sunshine, nor can we make the soil. All of it was created by our Heavenly Father. Every good farmer knows that the most he or she can do is sow. He or she can plant seeds, pray for the favor of God, and trust Him to do all the rest. That’s an excellent spiritual lesson for the single believer praying for a spouse.

A man that is a farmer is motivated by many things. He’s motivated by the ability to take care of himself, and most importantly, he’s motivated to make a living to care for his family. No one has to tell him to be up at the crack of dawn. He understands it’s necessary for everything to stay on schedule and for the harvest to come in on time. This is a very key piece of discernment for a woman seeking a Godly man. Some males have no interest in being a provider, but being a provider is the mark of a man. He’s not going out doing just any ol’ thing for coins. A man moves with the confidence and integrity of knowing his identity. He knows that as a provider, he will obtain favor from God for doing what a man is supposed to do.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 is speaking to us about work, waiting, want, and will. Work is the revealer of our faith. No farmer would plant seeds without faith that God will take care of the rest. Many complain that there’s no harvest in their lives or that the harvest they’ve received is not the harvest they expected, but the truth will always take us back to what we’ve planted or if we’ve planted at all. We’ve received our marching orders from our Master, Jesus Christ. The harvest is never the issue. It’s about the laborers. Will we do what God requires? Or will we wait on perfect weather and optimum conditions? With God, there are no excuses. We must be attentive to do what He requires and stop waiting to move into action. We need to get busy sowing the seeds of God’s Word, and Heavenly Father will take care of the rest.

Life isn’t about what we want for ourselves. It’s about what God wants for us. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes 5:5 that none of us know the path of the wind. Jesus Christ told Nicodemus in John 3:8(NLT), “The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” We can’t explain the wind, nor do we understand the mysteries of our spiritual rebirth in Christ. We don’t know the intricate details concerning a child growing in its mother’s womb. This is all God’s activity. It’s His creation. We can’t understand it, and we don’t need to. Our responsibility is to trust Him and trust His plan.

Ecclesiastes 11:6(NLT) tells us, “Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.” This is God’s Will! Sow your seed! Sow into your family, sow into your friends, sow into yourself, and most importantly, sow into God’s Kingdom. We can’t complain about the harvest when we’ve not done our part and sowed in the way God has commanded. God’s Will is for His people to be overwhelmingly happy and fulfilled, with a supportive spouse that loves them, but we must do our parts. Our seed investment is the revealer of our faith, and the harvest we receive will show exactly what we’ve planted. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Work, Waiting, Want, and Will”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 17, 2022
Tell Your Flesh to Stand Down

I watched an interview of an actress promoting her new movie. She had also recently celebrated her first wedding anniversary with her husband. She talked about how supportive her husband has been of her career, and that its one of the reasons she didn’t hesitate to say ‘yes’ when he asked her to marry him. She is awed by his unwavering commitment to his word. “He’s never been inconsistent about his intentions towards me and our relationship, and he honored my commitment to remain celibate while we were dating.” I was blown away to hear this woman’s admission of celibacy. It’s almost unheard of today, especially in the entertainment world.

They dated for almost a year before he popped the question, and many of us who walk this walk know that it isn’t always easy to be committed to celibacy. This is why the interview struck a chord with me. To be true to a vow of abstinence while also being in a committed relationship, it takes diligence and a determination to honor God above all else. Additionally, both individuals must honor each other. Keeping this vow is a tremendous way to know exactly what kind of person you’re working with. If a person has the ability to remain committed to God’s standards when they are dating you, then there’s a pretty good chance this person will remain committed to the marriage and to you when things get tough.

Keeping it real, there are going to be many occasions where you must tell your flesh to stand down. Standing down is often used in a military setting. It’s when someone goes off duty or withdraws from a position or state of readiness or alert. Well, the flesh is on duty all the time, and it wants what it believes will bring it the most pleasure. Galatians 5:19-21(NLT) lists the desires of the flesh as “sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” The body is the flesh, and it was not created by God to be the leader of our destinies. The body is God’s temple. It houses God’s Spirit; therefore, we must honor our bodies as the place where God lives.

The Apostle Paul said in Galatians 2:20(NLT), “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” We can’t live by the mind of the flesh and live by the Spirit at the same time. One of them will win out and we are the ones to choose the winner. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are commanded to walk in the Spirit and not do what our sinful natures crave. We are able to make the right choice because God has empowered us through Christ to stand strong in the power of His might.

Again, even for Christians, the thought of putting the flesh under subjection is not something that comes easy. I’ve heard many single Christian women make the statement that they don’t think they could ever be successful in remaining celibate during dating. The truth of the matter is that we must always bring everything back to what God says. If you’re not willing to honor what God says from the beginning of your relationship, can you really have faith that it will last? It’s not about what the man will and won’t accept, it’s about whose word you trust the most, the man’s or God’s!

Proverbs 21:2(NLT) tells us, “People may be right in their own eyes, but the LORD examines their heart.” The Lord tells us that He is a Righteous Judge that gives everyone what they deserve. He looks at our hearts to see if His love is living there, or if idolatry is living there. We always think we know what’s best for us. If there’s a significant person in our lives right now, we may even believe he’s the right fit, but only God knows the truth. Only God knows what the absolute best is, and He looks at our hearts to measure our true intentions. He sees if our desire is to partner in marriage as an effort to honor Him or if we’re only interested in hooking up to satisfy our fleshly desires.

I’ve had many conversations with single women that have entertained circumstances designed to interrupt God’s plan for their lives. Even if you aren’t aware or paying attention to what’s going on around you, you should pay close attention to what is going on inside your own heart and mind. Sometimes women are not understanding the thoughts and intentions they hold that get in the way of receiving answers to their prayers. They don’t believe change is necessary, but the answer to whether it is or not can only be found in Christ. We need him to tell us what we should and shouldn’t change.

Old behaviors, old habit patterns and old ways of thinking keep us from reaching our full potential in the Lord. These things will keep us stagnant, spinning our wheels, and we’ll lose out on God’s blessings if we don’t wake up. Now is the time to seek God through prayer and through studying His Word. This is the way to demonstrate that we’re serious about our commitment to Christ. It is the way to lay out the welcome mat for newness. We should ask the Lord what we need to do differently. We must tell our flesh to stand down so that our spiritual ears are perked up to hear from Him. Then we’ll hear His voice loud and clear. It will give us confidence to know that the man God presents is the treasure we’ve been praying to receive. This man will know in his heart that we are a treasure as well, and there will be no question in his mind that we are well worth the wait. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Tell Your Flesh to Stand Down”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 9, 2022
Speak the Truth About What You Want

One of my sister-friends and I were talking on the phone the other day and I noticed she didn’t sound quite like herself, so I asked her what was wrong. She didn’t hesitate to reveal what was on her mind and heart. It was as if she had been waiting for someone to give her permission to unleash her frustration. “We’ve been inseparable for thirteen-months, and there’s been no mention from him of wanting to move things closer to a commitment. I don’t want to seem desperate, like all my happiness is depending on him. And I don’t want to push him away either, but I’m ready for something more, and I just feel so stuck right now.” In thirteen months, over a year, neither of them had taken the time to discuss their expectations with one another. I was stunned by this. With all the conveniences of cell phones, texting, internet, pen and paper, and greeting cards and e-cards that express just about anything you want to say, in all that time, two grown folks didn’t communicate what they wanted from one another. Why?

James 2:26(NLT) tells us, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” Ladies and gentlemen, faith is required for anything any of us might attempt to do. It doesn’t matter what it is, how large or small, without faith, it won’t get done. We need faith to move from point A to point B, and Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 11:22 to have faith in God! Our Heavenly Father is a God of order, and His order dictates that we first find out what is available to receive from Him. Then, we can begin to move forward. Many of us get this twisted. We see what we like, pursue it, and ask God to bless what we’ve pursued. Some of us have found out the hard way that this isn’t a workable strategy.

At a fundamental level, we know that God desires us to marry should we desire it for ourselves. Take a look at Ecclesiastes 4:7-12(MSG), “7-8 I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone—no children, no family, no friends—yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, “Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?” More smoke. A bad business. 9-10 It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! 11 Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. 12 By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.” God schools us here on the basics of unity and what two people can accomplish when they walk together through life. He knows the benefits of partnership, that’s why He designed it. So, if we want marriage, we can have confidence that He wants it for us, more than we could ever want it for ourselves. He desires our happiness.

After we’ve developed confidence and trust that God indeed wants the best for us, we should also ask Him to show us WHO is the best for us. We shouldn’t make assumptions in this area without seeking His guidance, because that’s not faith, that’s guessing. My sista-friend assumed her boyfriend understood her desires without the both of them ever communicating about them. After an investment of over a year of her time and energy, she may have set herself up for disappointment.

You don’t have to hit someone over the head with this as soon as you start dating. In fact, it’s best to allow that conversation to evolve organically, but it shouldn’t take over a year. I can’t say why they haven’t communicated about marriage or whether both of them want it and plan to head in that direction, but both my friend and her boyfriend are really smart people. She’s been around him long enough to sense how he feels about their relationship. My guess is that she hasn’t broached the subject because she fears he’s going to say the very words she doesn’t want to hear, “I don’t want marriage.”

1John 3:18 (NLT) says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” This is good medicine and good practice. As God’s daughters, we should have an expectation that God will present us with someone He approves of, someone that will have our backs and consider it a privilege to walk with us through life. Any good father would want this for his daughter, and this is even more true of Heavenly Father. We should never have any fear about speaking the truth of God’s Word and speaking the truth about what we want. Have faith in God and have faith in what He desires for your life. Ask Him for His guidance so that you are led to the right man who will desire marriage and won’t hesitate to let you know it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Speak the Truth About What You Want”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 2, 2022
When You Least Expect It

One sunny summer day, my sisters’ and I had spent the afternoon shopping. Our hands were filled with bags as we were getting in our car. My oldest sister was driving and had just gotten behind the wheel. My middle sister, the most notable shopaholic among us, was finagling bags to try and open the passenger-side door. Out of nowhere, a complete stranger approached her. He offered to help my sister, and with her permission, he opened the door, and then closed it after she was seated. Our mouths were agape as we watched him very gentlemanly assist her, and then wish us all a good afternoon. We were like, “What just happened?” Although this kindness occurred quite a number of years ago, the impact of it strikes me even today.

Whenever I mention this occurrence to others, particularly women, the comments range from, “You’ll never see that happening today…” to “Hope your bags were intact.” Isn’t it something that in the face of such a simple and beautiful act of kindness, many of us suspect the worse? It’s sad, because as daughters of our Heavenly Father, it is His desire that such kindnesses are heaped on us every day of our lives. Many of us have gone through such heartbreak and disrespect from prior relationships that we no longer expect this kind of chivalry from a man, and some of us have never experienced it to any significant degree.

And of course, there are some that ask if we ever saw him again. We didn’t, but it was enough to know that such a man exists, and he’s not the only one of his kind. I’m reminded of the record in the Old Testament, when Elijah complained to God that there were so few within His people, the children of Israel, that were faithful to God’s covenant. Elijah was in deep despair over their sinful behavior and betrayal. He knew the tremendous blessings that God had given them, and they repaid God’s kindness and grace with arrogance and sin. Elijah was weary of their shenanigans, and he tried to use their disobedience as an excuse to throw his hands up and retreat. He didn’t want to be bothered with them anymore and thought they were a useless cause. Many of God’s people had forsaken Him, and Elijah could hardly stomach seeing them ruin and run down things that they should have held sacred in their hearts and minds.

Elijah complained to God in 1Kings 19:14(NLT), “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” Many of us can relate somewhat to how Elijah felt. If you’ve been traveling in the ‘single’s lane’ a while, it can feel very much like no one truly understands what you’re about. They can’t match your capacity to love and don’t have the depth to walk with you through life. You might feel like Elijah, that the bottom of the barrow is what’s left, and there’s no sea of which a treasure can be found.

God told Elijah in 1Kings 19:18 that He had preserved 7,000 of His people that had not bowed to the idol, baal, or served him. Elijah made an incorrect assumption that underestimated God’s power, intelligence, and provision. Many single believers have done the same thing. God doesn’t punish us when we think this way, He helps us, but will we allow ourselves to be helped? 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” He’s searching the entire earth, looking for a certain characteristic in our hearts, and it is the humility to trust His Word and become fully committed to our relationships with Him. When we do this, we will no longer doubt His willingness or ability to bless us.

When we allow ourselves to believe that God has not provided for us in the way His Word says He has, we not only run the risk of not pleasing God, but we are injuring our faith. We stop it from performing because it isn’t mixed with our believing. The most faithful in God are often hidden, like the gentleman who came out of nowhere to inspire our faith and to be a conduit of God’s love. God knows those that belong to Him, and He knows exactly where they are. He sees what we cannot see, and we should never underestimate His power, love, and provision. When our faith is firmly anchored in His goodness, God will strengthen our hearts. Never allow negativity to cause you to underestimate what God can and will do for your life. He will exceed your expectations, and a beautiful blessing might occur when you least expect it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When You Least Expect It”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 25, 2022
Good Love Starts from Within

A very good friend and sister-in-Christ told me one day, “When a man truly loves a woman, peace in the relationship will follow.” I remember thinking to myself, “How in the world did she come to this realization?” At that time in my life, I wondered what she must have gone through in her own personal relationships to finally get to this place—a place where she could see this kind of love and peace in her life as well as in her significant relationship. It wasn’t until I had gone through a few heartaches and disappointments and learned from my mistakes that I came to realize just how true her statement is. I now know with confidence that good love starts from within. This is true for us, and it’s true for the person that we desire to build a life with.

Most of us have received age-old wisdom about good love. We’ve been taught that if a person has it within themselves to honor and respect others, if they want the best for them, and has genuine compassion, this person is capable of good love. A more modern version of this wisdom is that a person that loves good will always have your back, no matter what. This is a man or woman that will give you their last and will go without, themselves, so that they can make sure you have what you need. Now, most folks today would probably say that there aren’t many people around who fit the bill for this good love. They might say they don’t come built like this anymore, but is that really true?

Luke 1:37(NLT) tells us, “For nothing is impossible with God.” God’s Word is true, and His Word never fails. When God speaks, we have the definitive authority on a subject, for everything He speaks is perfect and true. In Mark 12:30(NLT), Jesus Christ commands, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the kind of love that God requires of us, and because of the Words commanded by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we can confidently know two things. The first is that God is good. The second thing we can know for sure is that because He made us, we are capable of giving Him good love. If you and I were not capable of loving God the way He desires to be loved, Jesus Christ would not have commanded us to do it.

The question is never if a man can give us good love. The question is whether we are giving God the love He requires. How can any of us ever have faith that we will receive good love, if we don’t have faith in our ability to give it to God? Heavenly Father has put a perfect love system in place, and 1John 4:21(NLT) gives us an important part. This verse says, “And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.” Understand that obedience requires us to give God the good love He has empowered us to offer to Him. It is because of the good love that we give to Him that we can give it to each other. 1John 5:2(NLT) affirms this. It says, “We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments.”

Ephesians 5:2(NLT) tells us, “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Jesus Christ came to the earth and modeled the perfect example of God’s love. He showed us how God’s love should be lived-out on earth. Christ is our example. Through the pattern he gave us, we learn to give good love and this same love comes back to us. It’s the love of God IN Christ IN us that starts the cycle and keeps it going. God loves us first. We accept it, then give it back to Him and others. The love cycle in Christ continues, leaving a trail of blessings wherever it goes. So, it’s not about our thoughts and opinions, it’s about believing and trusting God’s Word, and believing and trusting HIS love. It’s faith in His love that brings about His peace in our relationships.

If we put the good stuff out there, the good stuff will come back to us. The good stuff is God’s love. The love that you and I offer is sometimes based on our own personal agendas. It has strings attached to it, but not the love of God in Christ. When we make a habit pattern of loving God, wonderful things happen inside us. Our love for God gives the Holy Spirit permission to do his most perfect work within. Then, we can love others with this same unfailing, unconditional love that God has given us.

Some of us are living a reality day to day that has been shaped and molded by our own low expectations. Many of us have no interest in meeting God’s standard of love, even though He’s empowered us to get it done. And because we refuse to meet His standard, we refuse to believe that a man can love us through that standard. The darkness of this kind of wrong believing will keep us not only thinking low but settling for low.

When it comes to a man that gives good love, are our expectations limited by our lack of confidence in our own ability to give it? This deserves some thought, because good love does indeed come from within, where the love of God abides. When your relationship is right with God, your outer reality will prove it out, and you can’t help but have peace. Some folks believe that people who give good love no longer exist, that you can’t find a man that will truly have your back, but God’s Word forces us to turn the mirror on ourselves. It is impossible to love God and love others through His love, and not receive this love in return. So, when a man truly loves a woman, peace follows not so much because of what he gives, but because of what God has given to us all through Jesus Christ. Confidence in our love for God and His love for us will always end in peace. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Good Love Starts from Within”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 18, 2022
How Do I Become Born Again?

I recently had the pleasure of catching up with an old friend. We had such a good time conversing, but during our time together, the Spirit tugged on my heart. I felt compelled to witness to him about the Lord Jesus Christ. I was puzzled at first because I’ve known this person for quite some time, and I assumed he knew our wonderful Redeemer. That day, I learned a very valuable lesson. We should never assume when it comes to a person’s walk with Jesus. I came right out and asked him if he was saved. I thought he’d say, “Yes, of course I am.” Instead, he asked me, “What do you mean by ‘saved’?”

What it means to be saved
God teaches us in Romans 10:9-10(NLT), “9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.” Most of us hear the word ‘saved’ and think of it in very general terms. Being rescued from harm or danger immediately comes to mind. So, if a person doesn’t perceive that he or she is in immediate danger, they may not understand the staggering importance of salvation and being born again through Jesus Christ.

In truth, there is nothing more harmful or dangerous than to spend an eternity cut off from the One True Living God, and therefore being in perpetual eternal darkness and despair. It’s a fate far worse than our minds can comprehend, and this is the reality of all who are not saved through Jesus Christ.

God proclaims in Colossians 1:13-14 (NLT) that He has “rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” Jesus Christ has made salvation from eternal darkness and damnation available to us, but he will not force anyone to accept the salvation he offers. Love never forces, it lovingly guides. Our beloved Savior is delighted to guide us into salvation and into his magnificent light if we are willing to be guided by him.

We must choose to love God
Genesis 1:26 tells us that God created humanity in His own image. Like Him, we are self-governing. We make our own decisions, and we get to decide who we are going to be. We decide whether we will be a child of God or a child of satan. An in between doesn’t exist. Jesus Christ makes it clear in Matthew 6:24 that we can’t serve two masters, we will love one and hate the other or vice versa, but we can’t serve both. We’re not built that way.

God has given each of us the gift of free-will, and Romans 11:29(NLT) says, “For God’s gifts and his call can never be withdrawn.” God is all-powerful, all-knowing, perfect and magnificent in every way. He never has to do a do-over or a take-back. He does things perfectly from the very beginning according to His divine design. He means for us to have what He wants to give us, and He is faithful to the gifts He gives. He will not override our free-will choice.

God offers us salvation and it is a free gift. We can’t do anything to earn it. Heavenly Father freely offers us the blessing of spending an eternity with Him through Jesus Christ. God loves us, and because of His great love, He offers us the extreme privilege and honor to choose to love Him back. John 3:16(NLT) says, “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” When we were at our worse, God sent His only begotten Son to save us and give us eternal life. He did this because He loves us more than we can ever know. He wants to have a relationship with every living person, and His greatest delight is loving and sharing His Kingdom with us.

We can’t save ourselves
Roman 5:11(NLT) tells us, “So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” Through Jesus Christ, God has made us righteous because being righteous is necessary to be friends with God. Romans 3:25-26 The Message (MSG) tells us, “25-26 God sacrificed Jesus on the altar of the world to clear that world of sin. Having faith in him sets us in the clear. God decided on this course of action in full view of the public—to set the world in the clear with himself through the sacrifice of Jesus, finally taking care of the sins he had so patiently endured. This is not only clear, but it’s now—this is current history! God sets things right. He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness.”

Because of what God accomplished through Jesus Christ, we now live in God’s “rightness”. It’s not that we are so good, God is the only One that is righteous and good. You and I don’t have any righteousness of our own. So, God gave us His righteousness through Christ. Sometimes people will say, “I’m not ready to have a relationship with God yet. I’m too worldly, too angry, too sinful, or too this or that…” Maybe they think they are enjoying themselves by doing all the things that pleasure their senses, but we were not created to live that way. We were created to walk in God’s Spirit! Only Jesus Christ can fill our cups and give us joy.

It’s a myth that we can make ourselves “okay enough” to come to God. We can’t. None of us can do this. For instance, some that have an addiction to a substance might think they’ll come to God when they give up the drugs or alcohol, but in reality, they find that the struggle never ends. They keep disappointing themselves and can’t understand why they can’t stop. Others might be very unhappy with their lives because they struggle with insecurities, anxieties, and fears. Spending most of their lives feeling lost, it’s challenging for them to believe that God wants to have a relationship with them; that He loves them in their brokenness and wants to help them. Before we come to Christ, we are all broken and in desperate need of God’s saving grace. We need to be cleansed by the blood of the lamb. We desperately need the new life that Jesus Christ offers us, and God wants to help us. All we have to do is come to Him and invite Him into our hearts.

You must be born again
In John 3:3(NLT), Jesus Christ had a conversation with a man named Nicodemus. He told him, “I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.” Just as we are birthed from our mother’s womb and have our biological father’s seed, when we accept the Lord Jesus Christ into our hearts as our Savior, we are spiritually born again. In order to be a child of God, we must be born physically, and we must be born spiritually. Accepting God’s love through Jesus Christ causes a spiritual consummation. We receive God’s seed by faith, and the Holy Spirit comes to live inside us. So, to be saved is to be born-again. It is to come alive to God spiritually as His child.

Faith is not magic, and magic doesn’t come from God. It’s not about a ‘kid in a candy store’ attitude, where God gives us anything we want. Faith is believing that God gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to save all of us, and it is believing that our all-powerful, awesome God can do anything and through His resurrection power, He raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Believing this truth, repenting from our sins, and asking God for forgiveness transfers us from eternal death to eternal life in Christ.

We’re on this earth to decide who we are going to be for the rest of eternity, and if we choose God, we must remain committed to Him. We must apologize for the sins we have committed, because sin is an offense to Him. The first Adam sinned and everyone after him sinned as well. As God’s children, we must reject Adam’s disobedience and surrender ourselves to God to be guided and led by Him.

In John 14:6(NLT), Jesus Christ declared, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” The world would like us to believe that there are many paths to get to God. Well, it’s true that there are many paths, but they lead to destruction and idolatry. Jesus Christ is the only path to our Heavenly Father, the One True Living God. If we miss this, we’ve missed life entirely. Christ is the Prince of Life and through him, we can live an eternity with God. Ask Heavenly Father to forgive you for your sins. Ask Him to come into your life and accept His love in your heart by believing in what He has done for you through Jesus Christ. Confess your belief that Jesus Christ sacrificed his life for your sins, and that God resurrected him from the dead. Once you do this, you are saved and your spiritual journey in Christ has begun! ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“How Do I Become Born Again”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 13, 2022
When You Least Expect It

One sunny summer day, my sisters’ and I had spent the afternoon shopping. Our hands were filled with bags as we were getting in our car. My oldest sister was driving and had just gotten behind the wheel. My middle sister, the most notable shopaholic among us, was finagling bags to try and open the passenger-side door. Out of nowhere, a complete stranger approached her. He offered to help my sister, and with her permission, he opened the door, and then closed it after she was seated. Our mouths were agape as we watched him very gentlemanly assist her, and then wish us all a good afternoon. We were like, “What just happened?” Although this kindness occurred quite a number of years ago, the impact of it strikes me even today.

Whenever I mention this occurrence to others, particularly women, the comments range from, “You’ll never see that happening today…” to “Hope your bags were intact.” Isn’t it something that in the face of such a simple and beautiful act of kindness, many of us suspect the worse? It’s sad, because as daughters of our Heavenly Father, it is His desire that such kindnesses are heaped on us every day of our lives. Many of us have gone through such heartbreak and disrespect from prior relationships that we no longer expect this kind of chivalry from a man, and some of us have never experienced it to any significant degree.

And of course, there are some that ask if we ever saw him again. We didn’t, but it was enough to know that such a man exists, and he’s not the only one of his kind. I’m reminded of the record in the Old Testament, when Elijah complained to God that there were so few within His people, the children of Israel, that were faithful to God’s covenant. Elijah was in deep despair over their sinful behavior and betrayal. He knew the tremendous blessings that God had given them, and they repaid God’s kindness and grace with arrogance and sin. Elijah was weary of their shenanigans, and he tried to use their disobedience as an excuse to throw his hands up and retreat. He didn’t want to be bothered with them anymore and thought they were a useless cause. Many of God’s people had forsaken Him, and Elijah could hardly stomach seeing them ruin and run down things that they should have held sacred in their hearts and minds.

Elijah complained to God in 1Kings 19:14(NLT), “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” Many of us can relate somewhat to how Elijah felt. If you’ve been traveling in the ‘single’s lane’ a while, it can feel very much like no one truly understands what you’re about. They can’t match your capacity to love and don’t have the depth to walk with you through life. You might feel like Elijah, that the bottom of the barrow is what’s left, and there’s no sea of which a treasure can be found.

God told Elijah in 1Kings 19:18 that He had preserved 7,000 of His people that had not bowed to the idol, baal, or served him. Elijah made an incorrect assumption that underestimated God’s power, intelligence, and provision. Many single believers have done the same thing. God doesn’t punish us when we think this way, He helps us, but will we allow ourselves to be helped? 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” He’s searching the entire earth, looking for a certain characteristic in our hearts, and it is the humility to trust His Word and become fully committed to our relationships with Him. When we do this, we will no longer doubt His willingness or ability to bless us.

When we allow ourselves to believe that God has not provided for us in the way His Word says He has, we not only run the risk of not pleasing God, but we are injuring our faith. We stop it from performing because it isn’t mixed with our believing. The most faithful in God are often hidden, like the gentleman who came out of nowhere to inspire our faith and to be a conduit of God’s love. God knows those that belong to Him, and He knows exactly where they are. He sees what we cannot see, and we should never underestimate His power, love, and provision. When our faith is firmly anchored in His goodness, God will strengthen our hearts. Never allow negativity to cause you to underestimate what God can and will do for your life. He will exceed your expectations, and a beautiful blessing might occur when you least expect it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When You Least Expect It”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 6, 2022