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  • When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would

    When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would

    Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT), “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Paul went on to say, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” When you’re coming out of a relationship that didn’t go as expected, it can be really challenging to remain optimistic about your marital future. I was in this situation, and 2 Corinthians 12:9 really ministered to my heart. I was sure I’d marry the Christian man that I had known for a few years and truly loved. We got along great, but he held certain beliefs about women that wasn’t aligned with God’s Word. We were both very adamant about pursuing the Lord with our whole hearts, but even though we were Christians, we couldn’t get past this obstacle. He had received counsel and advice in this area that was completely different than what I believed God wanted for us as believers.

    This period in my life was one of those times that I questioned God a lot. I asked the same thing that many Christian women ask when it comes to getting their hearts smashed, “God, why did You let this happen to me?” I was sure this relationship would work out and that we’d walk hand in hand through life.  The man that I thought would be my husband is such a gentle and caring man. He has the most compassionate heart of any person I had ever met. Most of the pieces seemed to fit, but there were certain areas—very important areas—where he was unwilling to compromise. In a relationship, sometimes this quality can make the other person feel like they are enslaved by four unmovable and impenetrable walls. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake.

    I felt exactly as the Psalmist described in Jeremiah 8:18(NLT) “My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken.” There was no meeting half-way between the two of us. He was not going to budge and allow the Spirit to really minister to his heart, and I felt that he should have. I was torn and conflicted. I began to regret that we had met, and my mind drifted to doubt and dismay. It wasn’t until I was able to hear God’s strong Word come through the mouths of wise, Godly women that I began to see clearly.

    One of the reasons I was so hurt is that when it all boiled down to it, this man had been taught something that I knew wasn’t biblical, and he was not willing to release it. On one hand, I witnessed his incredible compassion and kindness, and on the other hand I saw stubbornness on a level I had never seen. It really hurt my feelings to see that his love for me was not as strong as mine was for him. No matter how I tried to spin it, this is what it came down to.

    There can be power in the pain. You’re not really thinking about this when you’re going through tough times. You just want the pain to stop and to get through the situation without feeling as though you’re losing more of yourself. The truth is that there is always going to be triumph after pain for the Christian. You’re going to know more, be stronger, and most importantly you will be better prepared for the right opportunity when it comes along.

    I saw with my own two eyes the damage wrong believing can do, even to those who are Christians. I saw how it immobilizes a person when they refuse to grow and know more, and how it causes them to be stuck in all kinds of ways. Because I cared so deeply for this man, and was totally emotionally invested, I could have continued trying to hang on to something I knew in my heart was not going to work. I’m so thankful that I let it go, and did so without bitterness in my heart.

    I knew the truth of God’s Word, and it will never, ever let us down. I grabbed on to Jesus Christ with all the strength within me, and I trusted that my latter days would be greater than my former. I leaned on Jesus Christ to get me through, and he did not disappoint me.

    Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, deserves to be the head of our lives. He can carry the weight of our pain, and turn it into victory. This is why he tells us in Matthew 11:30(NLT), “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” He is our burden-bearer, and we need to be patient as his power strengthens our weaknesses. Pain is a calling card for change, and we have to stop ignoring the signal, because it lets us know that we are undermining ourselves, and not loving ourselves as Christ loves us. We’re accepting something that isn’t a part of our destinies, even though we may have been sure at one time that it was.

    So if you are holding on to something that makes you feel bad about your life or yourself, make the decision to let God show up for you. It may feel uncomfortable letting go, but you’ll soon feel a sense of relief because you’re trusting God to be your sufficiency. He will ALWAYS take care of you, and shower you with His goodness and mercy. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would”, written by K.Y. Renee for Findchristianman.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect

    When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect

    You didn’t just all of a sudden decide to be God’s child. He handpicked you out before you were even in your mother’s womb. He purposed your existence before the foundation of the world. This mind-blowing piece of revelation isn’t news to you I’m sure, because Ephesians 1:5, 11 confirms it in God’s Word. You have a purpose, and because of this purpose within God’s Plan and Will, there have been certain things that haven’t come easy for you. You might even feel as though you’ve had more than your fair share of struggle and opposition. There may have been more people working against you than those that have worked with you, and you can’t understand why everything has to be so difficult at times. Why is it that you continue to endure hardships through the wait, and your breakthrough still hasn’t happened?

    It is no secret that your breakthrough and purpose are connected. God has goals for each of us, and one of His greatest goals is for truth to become the prominent part of our nature. He wants His Word to so permeate our brain cells and hearts that when we enter a room, the first thing that people see is the Christ in us. There’s a process to this. The reason why we know it is a process is because we are not all that we are going to be at the point we first confess and give our lives to Christ. There is still yet caboodles of spiritual yumminess that we have to put on mentally and behaviorally as we journey forward in Christ.

    The one thing that you must know with every fiber in your being is that the answer to the question “Where is my breakthrough?” is contained in the piece of truth that you have yet to put on in your mind and heart. You can deny this, neglect it, and refuse to do anything about it, but every single occurrence in your life will bring you back to this reality. There is no denying that you have gained biblical knowledge and spiritual know-how over the years. This is in your arsenal right now, but as it relates to the breakthrough blessing that you are seeking for your life, there’s a specific truth that you haven’t yet comprehended on the deepest level. You haven’t comprehended it on a level that spearheads a transformation that is required for the blessing you seek.

    It isn’t God’s desire that we suffer and struggle, but some of us go through it so much longer than we need to because we won’t seek God with all of our hearts, strength, souls, and minds for this particular piece of spiritual armor. His grace and mercy covers us through the struggle, but it doesn’t remove from us the responsibility to seek. It is our obligation to prove to Heavenly Father that we can handle the heft of the blessing we desire. We’re more than conquerors, and Jesus Christ has already told us in Luke 12:48(KJV) that “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” The ‘much’ that is required is continued spiritual growth in the Holy Spirit.

    You are so close to the breakthrough you’ve been praying to receive. Continue to pray for revelation regarding your purpose, and pay very close attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. You are rising higher in faith, patience, and endurance. Very soon, your purpose and breakthrough will intersect, and not only will you receive the blessing you’ve been praying about, but most importantly,  you will have a greater intimacy in your relationship with Heavenly Father through the Lord Jesus Christ.

    “When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect” written for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Your Amazing Grace

    Your Amazing Grace

    Dear Heavenly Father,

    You tell us in 2 Timothy 1:9 that You have saved and called us to live a holy life. We didn’t deserve to be handpicked by You, but You did it because this was Your plan before the beginning of time. It was always Your plan to show us amazing grace through Jesus Christ. Nothing compares to Your holiness, and You have shared it with us, Your sons and daughters, through him. Your Holiness is the quality that makes us stand out from others. We have Your nature through Jesus Christ; therefore, we should act like You and wear Your love like a second skin, so that everyone recognizes we belong to You.

    We could not make ourselves holy. Thousands of years of our history documents this very clearly. Our record shows just how corrupt and unloving humanity can be. You could have become angry and squashed all of creation. You could have stopped Adam and Eve from sinning against You in the garden, and You could stop people from being horrible to one another today, but You have taught us that love doesn’t behave this way. Love doesn’t force, manipulate, or withdraw the privilege of choice. We are free to live by our own choices and decisions, and we are free to deal with the consequences of them.

    You have told us the right way to live. In Romans 8:9, You tell us not to be controlled by our sinful nature, but to let the Spirit control us. He is living in us, helping us to be all that You desire us to become. John 16:13 tells us that the Holy Spirit will guide us into all truth, and He will tell us what Jesus Christ wants us to hear. In 1Peter 1:16, You instruct us to be holy because YOU are HOLY! We can’t do this without Your help, and You have given us the gift of the Holy Spirit to help us learn to walk in Your holiness.

    We don’t always get this right. Sometimes we reject the Spirit’s guidance, and we don’t listen to You. We do things that we know we shouldn’t do. If this happens, You tell us not to run away from You and hide. That’s what the devil wants us to do. He tricks us to sin, so that shame will cause a separation between You and us. You don’t want that to happen. Thank You, Heavenly Father, for Your Amazing Grace. Even though we fall short—even though we don’t always behave like Your Sons and Daughters, You still love us. You will forgive us and help us to be better.

    Thank You that Your grace is all we need to get through any situation. Thank You for Your goodness, mercy, love, and kindness. Thank You for saving us through Jesus, and for bringing us into Your family. You are so awesome and amazing, Most Holy God. Thank You for Jesus Christ, and thank You for the Holy Spirit. Please help us to be a blessing to Your Kingdom, and let Your Will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

    “Your Amazing Grace”, written for FindingChristianMan.com©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When Our Relationships Are Torn Apart

    When Our Relationships Are Torn Apart

    A dear friend received her divorce a couple of weeks ago, and her separation period had been long and difficult. She wanted to have a conversation with me about what she would do differently. She admitted that from the very beginning of her marriage, she was overwhelmed with the responsibility of an expanded family; both she and her ex-husband had children from previous marriages. She had a lot of unresolved pain from her past, and she brought it into the relationship. She knew that I would be able to relate to this. I’ve learned that it’s best to be very frank and honest when it comes to tackling one’s emotional well-being. It’s something we must do, because entering new relationships with unresolved insecurities and pain can cause patterns and mistakes to be repeated. Healing requires us to confront the fear that keeps us trapped. We desperately need God’s guidance, and we need wise friends that give us good counsel and tell us the truth.

    Marriage and dating are different dynamics in the eyes of God. This is something we must consider before we enter into the commitment of marriage, because God wants us to choose the person that He has ordained to be our partners. This isn’t always the person we date. We attempt to make it this way, and it’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Dating in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship doesn’t carry the same level of commitment and covenant in God’s eyes. It is a mistake to think that it does, and this is why many people give themselves license to have sexual intimacy in a relationship with a person that isn’t a destiny partner. It’s a dangerous move.

    Sometimes we chose the wrong people to marry, and we end up getting wounded and wounding another. We must consider God’s heart when it comes to the relationships we chose. Christ instructs us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God and His righteousness first in ALL things.

    The Pain of Divorce
    Pain is pain, no matter how you slice it. Our heart’s break when our relationships are torn apart. But when it involves a failed marriage, the stakes are higher when it comes to our relationship with God, and a greater demand is on us to repair the damage of our souls His way. Heavenly Father sets the priorities for achieving wholeness, and often, we don’t consider them. Our inclination is to make our brokenness centerstage, without considering how the sacredness and unity of our relationship with God is impacted. And not just our individual relationship with the Father, but we also should have some level of understanding and empathy about what has happened to the ex’s relationship with God; considering whether the divorce has impeded the potential of his future elevation in the Lord as well.

    This is the compassion and awareness that God expects to see reflected in the heart and mind of a Christian, because the love of Christ in us should bring us to this place. Keeping it real, many of us are not there. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first in all things. This is the priority. When something has gone terribly wrong, to the point that a marital union is severed, our first response should be to seek God. He knows every detail of our pain and struggle. He knows how to heal us in ways that will prevent the patterns or pathology that works against our ability to be whole.

    In the case of divorce, our obligation to God is greater because we’ve asked Him to bless and join us together in marriage with another. This is truth, and truth is never meant to condemn or make someone feel bad, but to extend the tools of correction necessary to be better, so that God can be glorified. Divorce is an indicator of unresolved pain and toxic patterns. We need to be healed in places that only the Holy Spirit can reach.

    First Step
    It’s challenging to rally our emotions during divorce, but the Spirit will help us. Our first step in dealing with any degree of emotional distress, particularly divorce, should be to extend an earnest invitation to the Holy Spirit through the Lord Jesus Christ. We should repent, ask for Heavenly Father’s forgiveness, and invite the Holy Spirit to take control and bring us to a level of healing that places us exactly where the Father would have us to be.

    Second Step
    When something is broken, pieces fall to the ground. It hurts, because we feel the impact of them shattering. Typically, our first inclination is to pick them up. Every human being will do their very best to move towards wholeness. In so doing, we will make every attempt to recoup what we perceive as missing, and we often do this without the Spirit’s help. It cannot be done successfully without the Spirit’s guidance. He tells us what’s worth picking up, and what we need to leave on the ground.

    Instead of trying to pick up the broken pieces ourselves, we must seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit continually. This requires you to have faith in Jeremiah 29:11(NLT), where God said, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Heavenly Father does not want you to remain in a state of sorrow, confusion, or condemnation. He wants you whole, pursuing your destiny, and functioning in the call of Christ. Know that despite what you’ve been through, wholeness in Christ is God’s plan for you, and the Holy Spirit will move you towards this goal, IF you are willing to be guided and led.

    Third Step
    Jesus Christ told us in John 16:13 that the Holy Spirit that indwells us will lead and guide us into all truth. The third step can be the most challenging, and it is absolutely crucial to your healing and wholeness. You must accept the truth, and you must do so with an attitude of releasing the shame that causes you to hide behind a lie. Divorce is a mirror for the pain that is in us. It’s not all the ex-spouse’s fault. They were a reflection of what we either couldn’t or wouldn’t see. It’s time to remove the veil.

    The wisdom of Proverbs 15:22(NLT) states, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”  The Holy Spirit will lead you to the wise counsel of those who speak the truth. They may not do so in a way that cushions you or makes you comfortable, but you must hear the truth to heal. We cannot be healed by believing a lie about ourselves or about God’s goodness.

    Be Whole
    When the dust settles on any relationship that has gone wrong or ended, the look-back period can go as far as when you first met.  You start thinking about what attracted you to the ex and wonder to yourself how everything went from good to bad, then to ugly.  As women, we can be such emotional creatures. We’re not as kind to ourselves as we should be. God tells us that He’s the one that has plans for our future, but oftentimes, all we see is what’s staring us in the face. Usually, this limited vantage point will get us nowhere but knee-deep in regrets and negative thoughts. Look to your future positively through the promises of God. Renew a commitment to release the patterns and pathology that hold you back.

    I recently sat in on a counseling session for a young Christian woman. It was about dating and preparation for marriage. The information I heard was so inspirational and wise, that I could only say to myself, I wish I had known this when I was her age. The wisdom she received was “You want to attract from a place of wholeness and maturity instead of from a place of weakness, because a marriage can’t be sustained on a shaky foundation!” God wants us to begin relationships from a place of wholeness. Have faith that this is His plan for your life. Give Him the time to work in you through the Holy Spirit, and trust in His process. Then you will be ready to move to the next level of growth and blessings He has in store for you.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “When Our Relationships Are Torn Apart” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

    Spiritually preparing for marriage, Christian Advice for Singles, Growing in the Holy Spirit, Growing in Christ, the Mind of Christ, Spiritual Encouragement for Christian Women, Christian Women Ministry, Christian Women Organization

  • Dealing with the Stress of Life

    Dealing with the Stress of Life

    Dear Heavenly Father,

    Sometimes it is challenging to know how to handle some of the situations that life throws our way, but You have given us a strategy in Your Word. You tell us in Philippians 4:6(NLT), “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” This requires us to unlearn some of the patterns and practices we’ve developed over time. We have learned to worry and have anxiety because this is the way the world operates. Whether it is our relationships, homes, jobs, or some other issue, we sometimes hold so tightly to these things. We become afraid or worried whenever something we treasure might be altered or lost, and we allow this worry and doubt to keep us from being obedient to Philippians 4:6.

    People of the world do not know Your love, but we do. It is a love that doesn’t fail or disappoint. This does not mean that life will be a bed of roses. In John 16:33(NLT), Jesus Christ told the disciples, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” We will go through things on this earth, and some of them will be very unpleasant. People will dislike us because we love You through the Lord Jesus Christ. They will come against our efforts and say mean things about us. The world system is filled with darkness, and it can seem impossible to navigate. Even though we have to deal with these things, You tell us that Jesus Christ has overcome the world, and we can overcome it too, because his love is in our hearts.

    You tell us in Isaiah 41:10(NLT), “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” You are the Creator of all things. All victory belongs to You. When life hits us hard and we feel like giving up, we can run to You! We should never give up, but instead run the race faster than ever before, because the finish line is there, and we’re going to make it! You are bigger than our problems. You are always with us, and You have promised to strengthen and help us.

    Isaiah 54:17(NKJV) states, “No weapon formed against you shall prosper.” Weapons may be formed—they may be developed by people, because the devil doesn’t want us to have good success and will use people and situations to throw fiery darts. You will shield us as long as our trust is in You. You will prevent the enemy’s weapons from doing lasting damage.

    Stress is a form of fear, and it conveys that we are not doing what You have instructed in Philippians 4:6. Instead of training our minds to have thoughts filled with anxiety, we can train our minds to concentrate on the promises of Your Word and choose to believe YOU and not what the world wants us to believe. Thank You for helping us to renew our minds to Your Word, and teaching us through the indwelling Holy Spirit to be strong and of good courage. Thank You for working out all the troubling details of our problems and conditions, and for turning everything around so that it works for our good and Your glory!

    Thank You for Your goodness, mercy, love, and grace. Thank You for saving us through Jesus, and for bringing us into Your family. You are so awesome and amazing, Most Holy God. Thank You for Jesus Christ, and thank You for the Holy Spirit. Please help us to be a blessing to Your Kingdom, and let Your Will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Dealing with the Stress of Life” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Be Still

    Be Still

    Dear Heavenly Father,

    As we read and study Your Word, one of the things we learn very quickly is that You teach us through patterns, parables, and practices. You showed us first by the examples of faith-filled, Godly individuals. You inspired the written record of their witness and example in Your Word, so that we can study it and put it into practice. Jesus Christ is the greatest example of Your Word, because he is the LIVING Word! We learn most about being the people You desire us to be from his example.

    Jesus was teaching in John 8:38(NLT), and he said, “I am telling you what I saw when I was with my Father.” In John 5:19(NLT), he explained, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” Your Son followed Your example. He spent a lot of time in prayer with You. Prayer is communication that goes both ways. We speak to You and tell you our desires and requests. We invite You into our lives and to intervene in our circumstances. And You speak to us. You tell us what to do, just as You told Jesus Christ what to do.

    You know our futures. You know our pasts, and You know our present. You know exactly what we’re doing and what is going to happen in our futures. In John 16:13(NLT), You said through the Lord Jesus Christ, “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” We have an intimate relationship with You. It is a connection so deep that we hear You spiritually, from Spirit to spirit. We just need to listen. This is why You tell us in Psalm 46:10 to be still and know that You are God. We need to quiet ourselves and meditate on Your Word, so that we can hear Your voice internally.

    Thank You for reminding us to spend quality time with You every day. By doing this, we build up our relationship with You, and we grow in spiritual strength. We often seek great blessings from You, yet we don’t spend enough time developing the relationship You desire; we don’t put enough effort in our relationship with You. Therefore, we lack the strength to do what You require.

    Jesus taught us by his example that we can see what You’re doing through Your Word and through Your communication to us. This is one of the reasons it is so important to pray and to be still, so that we can see and hear from You spiritually. Thank You for teaching us this wonderful spiritual lesson, and for letting us know that You desire this intimate connection with Your children.

    You are so awesome and amazing, Most Holy God. Thank You for Jesus Christ, and thank You for the Holy Spirit. Please help us to be a blessing to Your Kingdom, and let Your Will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Be Still”, written for FindingChristianMan.com©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • A Confident Spouse

    A Confident Spouse

    aconfidentspouse-pose2

    Life is constantly proving that in the blink of an eye, everything can change.  The unexpected can potentially cause a shift in our circumstances so swiftly that it can literally take our breath away. The notion of change or any of its cousins like transformation, correction, adjustment, or modification, will sometimes bring us to a place of anxiety. Very few of us realize how comfortable we’ve become in our present situations until we are confronted with an issue that refuses to cooperate with business as usual. We react to this in a bevy of different ways, and sometimes we abandon the very thing that anchors us, which is our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. God knows our propensity to do this, and its why evidence of our diligence must be apparent before we take that walk down the aisle.

    When a storm arises, no matter the magnitude, there’s going to be pressure. Many of us respond to this pressure with anxiety first, and then with desperation following somewhere in the not too distant vicinity. Some of us find ourselves making all kinds of promises to God, thinking that He will bargain with us, and accept our meager offering for the goodness of His grace and mercy. He doesn’t operate this way, but we will still try to use this tactic. Whatever we’re dealing with, God already knows about it. He allows the constant changes of life, both highs and lows, because they force us to grow in faith. If everything was always smooth sailing, most of us would choose to remain comfortable where we are, and never learn to walk by faith and not by sight.

    Marriage is God’s institution. It is one of His ways of providing for His people. It is a bond of unity, and we know how much the enemy hates unity; he seeks to divide it on every turn. We can see evidence of this in real time, and it is one of the major reasons that God wants us strong, confident, and anchored in His love and wisdom BEFORE we get married. Now is the time to demonstrate our faith and trust in God’s Word. Our patience in waiting for the right person, and our diligence to stand strong through the challenges of life reflects our commitment to be full of God’s grace. Then our faith will withstand the strategies of the enemy.

    In 2Corinthians 12:9(NLT), the Apostle Paul spoke about a troubling situation he was forced to face in his life. He called this issue a thorn in his flesh—a messenger from satan that was sent to torment him. Paul asked the Lord to take it away, and God’s response to him was “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Some people have interpreted God’s response to mean that Paul would have to continue to suffer the torment of the thorn, so that he would be humbled by the pressure of it. This is not an accurate interpretation.

    Transporting you to new levels
    God’s response to Paul reveals a spiritual strategy that would both transport and transform him. Make no mistake that life is a spiritual journey, and you are on it. God knows the path you should take, because He alone has planned your destiny. Sometimes we stray away from the path that we should be on. We make decisions and choices that don’t honor God, and therefore those decisions and choices do not honor us or what is best for our lives. We desire marriage with the person that God has ordained, yet, our actions move us in the opposite direction. The storms rage when this happens, and we find ourselves panicking in the middle of the ocean.

    Many of us have endured broken relationships, numerous heartaches, and disappointment after disappointment. We can sympathize with Paul because our quest for marriage often leaves us with this panicking feeling. It’s a thorn in the flesh, but God has told us that His GRACE is ALL that we need. Confidence in His unmerited favor is an infallible spiritual strategy. It’s the answer to our troubles. In other words, God is telling us that instead of focusing on the problem, FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION. Focus on His goodness. Focus on His power and strength, because it works best in weakness. Instead of feeling as if you’re in the middle of nowhere without your bearings, let the Lord Jesus Christ be your guide; for Proverbs 3:6(NLT) tells us “Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” God knows where you ought to be, and He’ll show you which path to take if you’ll let Him.

    Be Transformed
    In Romans 12:2(NLT), God also tells us through the Apostle Paul, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” The thing we focus on will increase and grow. We can’t afford to focus on negativity when we’re trying to stay on the path of destiny and have what God says we can have. We must be transformed by the renewing of our minds to His Word. We have to change the way we think so that we are not shaken by plots and tricks that seek to undermine our faith. Instead, we must remain secure in Christ, with confidence that God’s grace will transport us to new spiritual heights as we are transformed into the spouses He desires us to be. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “A Confident Spouse” written for FindingChristianMan.com©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Covenant of Marriage

    The Covenant of Marriage

    facm-covenantIn Jeremiah 29:11(NLT), our wonderful Heavenly Father declares, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” This verse is one that every Christian should know, because it builds a foundation in our hearts for understanding that God has a plan for every individual, and He has ordered our steps. This understanding about God’s plan also aides our prayer lives, because so often we go to God not realizing that we are trying to persuade Him to do what we want. Really what we should be doing is praying to understand His plan, so that we can do what He wants. As God’s children, we have the privilege of being in covenant with Him through the Lord Jesus Christ, and it is this covenant of doing what He desires of us that gives us greater access to His promises.

    A covenant is a formal and binding agreement between two or more parties that is based on the performance of an action. Covenants have conditions, and they require a commitment from all those involved to hold up their ends. We should also understand that since there are conditions to a covenant, there are also consequences involved for breaking the covenant. In Old Testament Law or Mosaic Law, the conditions that people suffered for breaking covenant with God were so extreme that He calls them curses.

    In Deuteronomy 28:15(NLT), Moses warned, “But if you refuse to listen to the LORD your God and do not obey all the commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come and overwhelm you.” He then went on to lay out exactly what those curses were, including disease, infertility, darkness, confusion, frustration, and extreme lack. God’s plan was to help and instruct His people how to stay in the territory of His goodness, safety, and provision; and to keep them out of the devil’s territory of curses, chaos, and terror. Many of them did not heed God’s instruction.

    He tells us in Jeremiah 31:31-34(NLT), “31”The day is coming,” says the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the people of Israel and Judah. 32 This covenant will not be like the one I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand and brought them out of the land of Egypt. They broke that covenant, though I loved them as a husband loves his wife,” says the Lord. 33 “But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel after those days,” says the Lord. “I will put my instructions deep within them, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

    The New Covenant that God speaks of in Jeremiah 31:31-34 is one He has made with us through the Lord Jesus Christ. It is one of grace. He made a covenant with those He delivered out of Egypt, and they broke it, even though He loved them like a husband. This gives us our strongest message regarding how God feels about the marriage covenant, and how it should be bound in the unity of love. He’s made a covenant with us and has written it deep in our hearts through the Holy Spirit. He gave the world His only begotten Son to be sacrificed for our sins. He did this to secure His relationship with us, so that we are assured that He is our Father—our Source, Sufficiency, and Everything; and we are His people.

    With God, covenants are very serious business. Psalm 105:8(NKJV) says, “He remembers His covenant forever, the word which He commanded, for a thousand generations.” This verse helps us to understand how important covenants are to God. He honors them forever. It demonstrates His incredible commitment to His promises. We must also recognize that not only is marriage God’s institution, it is also a covenant that we make first to Him through the Lord Jesus Christ, and then to our spouses. Once two people are joined together in marriage, Heavenly Father sees them as one person.

    We are a covenant people. Covenants are a way for Heavenly Father to bless us. They back His allegiance to do what He says, and He always planned to establish them with His children. This is why marriage is so important to Him. It is an extension of His promise to take care of us in every way. As we go to Him in prayer for our quests to cross paths with our future spouses, we must also recognize that in His plan this is already provided. Our responsibility is to pray for a level of faithfulness, strength, and spiritual maturity that causes us to be as committed to the covenant of marriage as He requires. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “The Covenant of Marriage” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Power of Your Thoughts

    The Power of Your Thoughts

    Telling funny story

    I was having lunch with a young woman in her twenties who is attractive, intelligent, and loves the Lord. We didn’t start out talking about relationships, but the conversation ended up going in that direction after a very handsome young man walked by.  She made the comment, “I don’t think I could ever attract someone that handsome.” I said to her, “Be careful what you speak. Your words have creative power!” She said that she didn’t mean it to come out the way that it sounded, but I still reminded her of the verse in Proverbs 18:21(NLT) that says, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

    Our mouths speak what is in our hearts. People will often backtrack or make excuses regarding the words they speak, but words mean something. You can tell who a person is, and how they think and feel by what they say. This is one of the reasons that Heavenly Father instructs us to guard our hearts and be careful about what we let into them, because the issues of life spring forth from the heart. (Proverbs 4:23)

    God tells us in Genesis 1:26 that we are made in His image and likeness. He has empowered us through the Lord Jesus Christ to make things happen on this earth. He’s given us a part of His creative ability, and it can be evidenced through the faith of Jesus Christ. Through faith, we can call those things that are not as though they were. To ‘CALL’ is to speak things forth through our mouths. We can speak things into existence, and it is absolutely amazing to know that God has given us this capacity. He spoke creation into existence, and because we are made in His image, we too can speak, and things happen. They cooperate, coagulate, congeal, and conspire to manifest. All because we spoke, and believed the confession we put out there.

    Our words begin with our thoughts, and some of us have thoughts that don’t convey the truth about our identity in Christ. We have negative and dark thoughts that do not bring honor to God or please Him; therefore, they are thoughts that will keep us in bondage, and cause harm to our relationship with Heavenly Father. These are the kind of thoughts that God tells us to squash. Some people are under the delusion that they are not able to control their thoughts. Not true! They allow their minds to run amuck, and refuse to put themselves in check. This is a sin. If you are a sane person with sound mind, you can and you should line up your thoughts with God’s Word. 2Corinthians 10:5 admonishes us to capture every rebellious thought; lock it up, put it in prison, and don’t let it go into your heart where it can do damage. Instead, teach those rebellious thoughts to obey Christ!

    Proverbs 23:7(NKJV) tells us, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Again, you can tell a lot about a person by what he or she speaks, because their words tell you how they think. Our thoughts influence everything that we do. They start internally, in our heads, and manifest outwardly. Many of our thoughts spark the actions we take in our everyday environments. So, thoughts are like seeds. Once you plant them, they can ultimately grow to become your reality. This is why Heavenly Father tells us in Philippians 4:8(NLT), “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

    I reminded the young woman I had lunch with that nothing is impossible to us when we allow God’s Will and Word to filter into our hearts and become a part of us. We need to renew our minds so that we think like the mind of Christ. We must feed our minds what is pure, lovely, admirable, and excellent. When we do, we can expect that God will deliver His best in our lives.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “The Power of Your Thoughts”, written for FindingChristianMan©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • A Union Ordained and Blessed by God

    A Union Ordained and Blessed by God

    diamond wedding ring

    If we ask God to bless us in a certain area, and we haven’t seen any movement whatsoever, are we to surmise that God didn’t hear us the first time we prayed, or is He just not ready for us to have what we asked for? Someone posed these questions to me the other day. At first I was hesitant to respond immediately, because people are used to hearing the same answers to questions like these. We’re told “You need to keep the faith!” or “You need to be more patient…” And let’s not forget, “Sometimes God tells us ‘NO!’ and we need to accept it!” That’s the one I like least. The last thing any Christian would want to do is discourage someone from continuing to trust the mighty power of God. Proverbs 27:17(NLT) tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” So, we very definitely should encourage each other as single Christians, but as some of us continue to wade through what can seem like a molasses of loneliness, how do we give answers that will bring real and lasting comfort?

    Marriage is the most important decision any human-being can make in their lives outside of receiving our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is not a simple thing or something we should ever take lightly, and the majority of us have made this mistake. Because we have not placed marriage in its proper spiritual context, our desire for it loses the Christ-element that God requires. It can be challenging to communicate this in a simple explanation.

    It is beyond crucial that we make the right decision regarding marriage, and Heavenly Father makes this very clear. A critical aspect to marriage that we forget or overlook is the truth that it is God’s institution, and He set the standard for it. Jesus Christ tells us about this standard in Matthew 19, when Pharisees, trying to test him, asked if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason. He told them that God made human-beings male and female; because of this, a man will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

    This is God’s standard, not ours, and the implications are so deeply and spiritually impactful that we would be shocked to know how much. We forget that marriage is a covenant in which the partners are ordained by God long before they are born. Yet, many of us chose to marry someone that isn’t the person Heavenly Father ordained to be with us. We do the choosing, have a ceremony, and then ask God to bless something He never ordained. That’s not working out too well for a whole lot of folks.

    The reason why this is so important to get right is because of what Jesus Christ says in verse 6(NLT), “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” These are the words of our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ. He said “LET NO ONE separate a union that God has joined together. Can you imagine the price one pays for separating what God has put together?

    Jesus Christ said that adultery is the only grounds that are recognized by Heavenly Father for which divorce is an option. So, we can see that marriage in Heavenly Father’s eyes is very serious business, and as singles looking to partner, we should only desire the person God desires for us. Many singles don’t have this mind-and-heart-set, and this is why many marital unions today are not put together by God. Sometimes we see individuals that are just depleted in every way from an unhappy marriage, because they married someone that was never meant to be a destiny partner.

    Maybe you’ve heard a dear sister say, “I’ve been asking God to bless me with a husband, and for whatever reason, I can’t get a man to even look my way. It must be that God isn’t ready to bless me yet, because I don’t believe it’s me.”  I’ve heard this many times, and each time it tugs at my heart, because I know the emotional struggle that comes with being single longer than you’d like. But sisters, we must be spiritually anchored in Christ to be ready to partner.

    God knows our hearts. In Deuteronomy 11:22(NLT), Moses told God’s people, “Be careful to obey all these commands I am giving you.  Show love to the Lord your God by walking in His ways and holding tightly to Him.” This is the heart that God is waiting on us to develop. He has watched to see if we will wait for the man that He has ordained, or if we will be impatient and choose someone without getting His stamp of approval. Many of us have not proved our faithfulness in this area. We’ve sinned against our body-temples with men who were not ordained as our covenant partners, and we never truly repented for this sin.

    Our Heavenly Father loves us so much. He gave us His Word, the example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and the indwelling Holy Spirit, so that we can have a relationship with Him that meets His standard. When it does, all the other relationships we cultivate will flow out of a well of love so tremendous that blessings chase us down. This is what every single believer needs to know. Marriage is not necessary to live this kind of blessed existence, but if we desire it, we must walk in the way of God’s Word and hold tightly to Heavenly Father, so that our future marital union is an ordained and blessed one. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Union Ordained and Blessed by God” written for FindingChristianMan.com©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!