Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Advice for Singles

  • The Way We Love Matters to God

    The Way We Love Matters to God

    Our Relationships Are One of the Places Our Faith Becomes Visible

    Jesus Christ never intended our relationship with Him to affect only what happens between us and God. As we grow in Christ, something about the way we relate to people should begin to change too. We should become more patient, more willing to forgive, less determined to have our own way, and more aware of how our words and actions affect others. We won’t get it right all the time, but the love of Christ working in us should eventually become noticeable in the way we treat people.

    Jesus made this connection very clear when He told His disciples:

    “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
    John 13:34–35 (NLT)

    That’s a pretty high standard because Jesus didn’t simply tell us to love people when they are easy to love. He said, “Just as I have loved you.” His love is patient and merciful. It serves. It forgives. It tells the truth. It doesn’t disappear the moment somebody disappoints Him. At the same time, the love of Jesus Christ is never weak, dishonest, or without wisdom. He could be incredibly compassionate and still tell someone the truth they needed to hear.

    That matters because we sometimes confuse Christian love with keeping everybody happy. We can think loving someone means never saying no, never disagreeing, overlooking behavior that needs to be addressed, or remaining in relationships that continually cause harm. But that isn’t what Jesus showed us. There were people He embraced, people He corrected, people He served, people He confronted, and even times when He walked away. Love was present in all of it.

    Learning to love people like Jesus Christ is something God develops in us over time. Our relationships give us plenty of opportunities to practice what we say we believe about grace, patience, forgiveness, humility, honesty, and service. They also require wisdom because not every relationship should have the same access to our lives. As we learn from Jesus Christ and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, we become better equipped to love people genuinely without losing the truth, wisdom, and boundaries that healthy relationships need.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Way We Love Matters to God”, written by Alex for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Please Help Me Remain Obedient to Your Will

    Please Help Me Remain Obedient to Your Will

    Dear Heavenly Father,

    Thank You for loving me and for always wanting what is best for me. Thank You for Your Word that gives me wisdom, and for the Holy Spirit who lives inside me and helps me when I don’t know what to do. Thank You for the people You place in my life who love me enough to tell me the truth and remind me of what Your Word says. You have been so faithful to me, Father. When I look back over my life, I can see so many times when Your way was better than mine. You knew what I needed, You knew what I didn’t need, and You were looking out for me even when I didn’t understand what You were doing.

    Please forgive me for the times I’ve known what was right and still struggled to do it. Forgive me for allowing my feelings to become stronger than my good judgment, and for the times I’ve wanted something so badly that I tried to reason around what I knew in my heart. Sometimes I can get ahead of You. Sometimes I don’t want to wait. And sometimes, Father, I simply want what I want. Please forgive me for those times when I’ve allowed a person, a relationship, or something I desire to take up more room in my heart than it should. I never want anyone or anything to have the place that belongs to You. Your Word tells me to seek You first, and I want my life and my choices to show that I really believe this.

    Father, please help me remain obedient to Your Will. Give me wisdom about the decisions and choices I make, especially when my emotions are involved. Help me not to overlook what You are trying to show me because I like someone or because I’m afraid of losing something I want. If something isn’t right for me, give me the courage to accept it. If I need to wait, help me wait. If I need to walk away, help me walk away. And when You bless me with something good, help me enjoy it without ever making the blessing more important than the One who gave it. I want to be loving and kind to the people in my life, but I want to do it according to Your loving standards and not my own. Holy Spirit, please keep me sensitive to Your voice and strong enough to follow Your leading.

    Lord Jesus, please help me follow Your example. You are the way, the truth, and the life, and I know I will never go wrong putting You first. I don’t know everything that is ahead of me, but You do, and that is why I can trust You. Help me become the kind of woman who doesn’t just know Your Word, but obeys it—even when obedience is hard, even when my feelings are pulling me in another direction, and even when I don’t understand why You are asking something of me. I want to trust that Your wisdom is greater than mine and that Your Will for my life is good.

    Thank You, Holy and Glorious Heavenly Father, for being patient with me while I grow. Thank You for correcting me, protecting me, and never leaving me to figure life out on my own. Thank You for every blessing You have given me and even for the things You have kept away from me that I may never know about. All blessings flow from You, and I want my life to please You. Please continue to help me walk in wisdom, remain obedient to Your Word, and trust You with every part of my life. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Please Help Me Remain Obedient to Your Will”, written for FindChristianMan.com©2026.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Happy in the Lord

    Happy in the Lord

    Dear Heavenly Father,

    Thank You for loving me exactly as You created me. Thank You for giving me life, for knowing everything about me, and for still calling me Your own. Most of all, thank You for giving me Jesus Christ. You gave me Your very best when You gave Your Son, and because of Him, my life has meaning, purpose, hope, and a future. Thank You for the Holy Spirit who lives inside me and reminds me that I am never alone. Father, when I stop and think about all You have given me and all You have done for me, I have so many reasons to be grateful. You have been better to me than I could ever deserve.

    Please forgive me for the times I’ve looked to other people to make me happy or make me feel good about myself. Forgive me for looking in the mirror and finding fault with what You created. There are times when I compare myself to other women, focus too much on what I don’t have, or allow being single to make me feel as though something is missing from my life. And sometimes, if I’m honest, I want someone to come along and make those feelings go away. Father, forgive me for expecting another person to do what only You can do. No man should have the responsibility of making me whole, making me feel worthy, or convincing me that I am enough. You have already told me who I am, and I want to believe You.

    Please help me find my happiness and contentment in You. Your Word says that I am Your masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus, and I want to see myself the way You see me. Help me take care of myself, appreciate the woman You’ve made me, and stop tearing myself down in my own thoughts. At the same time, keep me humble. I don’t want confidence that comes from thinking I’m better than someone else. I want the kind of confidence that comes from knowing Jesus Christ and knowing that I belong to You. Help me love myself with a Christ-kind of love, and let that same love overflow into the way I treat other people.

    Father, I don’t want to enter a relationship looking for a man to fill an empty place in me. I don’t want loneliness, insecurity, or the need to be wanted making decisions for me. Please make me wise enough to recognize when those feelings are trying to lead me. Help me seek You first, just as Jesus teaches me in Matthew 6:33. I want any relationship You bring into my life to be something I can receive from a place of strength in You—not something I grab hold of because I’m afraid of being alone. Put Christ in the driver’s seat of my life. Help me trust Your timing, Your wisdom, and Your plans for me, and teach me how to enjoy the life You’ve given me right now.

    Thank You, Heavenly Father, for reminding me that my joy doesn’t have to wait for something else to happen. Thank You that I can laugh, live, grow, love, dream, and enjoy my life because You are with me. Thank You for every blessing I have today and for every blessing that is still to come. I don’t know everything You have planned for my future, but I know the One who holds it, and that gives my heart peace. Let me find my happiness in You, Lord, so that my joy may be full. Thank You for my Blessed Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, and thank You for the precious gift of the Holy Spirit. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Happy in the Lord”, written for FindChristianMan.com©2026.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • How Far Is Too Far? Let’s Talk About Boundaries

    How Far Is Too Far? Let’s Talk About Boundaries

    We Might As Well Talk About It

    So, how far is too far?

    You knew we were going to have to get here eventually.

    Because Christians can get very creative with this particular question. We know what the Bible says about sex outside of marriage, so then comes the negotiation. Okay, but what about this? What about that? How much kissing? Where can we touch? Can I stay over if nothing happens? What if we’re engaged? What if we’re practically married? And somewhere in there I think we have to admit that sometimes we’re not really asking God where the boundary is. We’re asking Him how close we can get to it without Him calling foul. That’s a different question. And I don’t think that’s how people who genuinely want to honor God should approach this. 1Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee sexual immorality.” Flee. Not investigate it. Not sit beside it and see how everybody feels. Flee. God created sexual desire, so there is nothing dirty about being strongly attracted to somebody. Thank God you’re attracted to the person you’re considering marrying. But just because a desire is good doesn’t mean it gets to have whatever it wants whenever it wants it.

    Please Don’t Wait Until 11:47 P.M. to Discover Your Boundaries

    You need to know your boundaries before you need your boundaries. Please don’t wait until the lights are low, you’re alone, you’ve been kissing for twenty minutes, and everybody’s breathing has changed to suddenly announce, “We should probably talk about what we’re comfortable with.” Friend, that meeting should have been held several hours ago. Maybe several weeks ago. You already know more about yourself than you sometimes want to admit. If long kissing sessions make it very difficult for you to stop, then stop having long kissing sessions. If being in his bedroom is a problem, you don’t need forty days of prayer about whether you should keep going into his bedroom. If spending the night keeps turning into almost, stop spending the night.

    And let’s include the phone while we’re here. Sexting is sexual. Sending intimate pictures is sexual. Having explicit conversations and then congratulating yourselves because nobody physically touched anybody is playing games with yourself. Romans 13:14 tells us to “make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” Sometimes maturity is not needing God to send a lightning bolt. Just keep it real. Because you already know exactly what keeps happening.

    And women, we don’t get to put all of this on him. I know we talk a lot about whether a man will respect your boundaries, and we absolutely should. But you need boundaries too. He is not the designated keeper of everybody’s self-control simply because he’s the man. 1Thessalonians 4 tells believers to control their own bodies in holiness and honor. Your body. Your choices. Your responsibility before God. His body. His choices. His responsibility before God. Now, if you tell a man, “I’m not comfortable doing that,” and he keeps pouting, negotiating, getting irritated, or trying again every time the opportunity comes up, don’t dismiss it as he just wants me so badly. No ma’am. Pay attention.

    You just learned something important: how he responds when you tell him no. Does he respect your boundary, or does he keep pushing until he hopes you’ll give in? Because a man’s response to your conviction tells you something about his character. That is relationship information. Put it in the file.

    And Please Don’t Confuse Being Wanted With Being Loved

    This one can get us. A man can want you desperately and still not love you well. Those are not the same thing. Sexual desire can be intense, flattering, intoxicating, and very convincing. It can make you feel chosen. It can make a relationship feel much deeper than it actually is. And sometimes we read a man’s inability to keep his hands off us as evidence of how powerful the relationship must be. It’s possible. Or maybe he really, really likes touching you. Let’s not make it more spiritual than it is.

    And the reverse is true too. If a Christian man pulls back, establishes a boundary, or says, “We need to stop,” don’t immediately decide he isn’t attracted to you. He may be extremely attracted to you. Self-control only means something when there is actually something you want. Galatians 5:22–23 calls self-control fruit of the Spirit. There is something beautiful about a man or woman being able to say, “Yes, I want you. And because I belong to Christ, wanting you is not enough reason for me to do whatever I feel like doing with you.”

    So where exactly is the line? I can’t give you a chart. The Bible doesn’t tell us that a seven-second kiss is holy and a twelve-second kiss requires repentance. And I am very glad it doesn’t, because we would have turned that into foolishness by Tuesday.

    What Scripture gives us is better: flee sexual immorality, walk by the Spirit, practice self-control, pursue holiness, and honor God with your body. So maybe instead of constantly asking, “Can we do this?” we need to ask, “What is this doing to us?”

    Does it make self-control harder? Is it repeatedly taking you right to the edge and daring you to stop? Are you creating sexual appetites every Friday night that you have no righteous way to satisfy? Are you honoring each other, or are you helping each other rationalize how close you can get without technically crossing the line?

    Because that matters. The question isn’t simply whether an act is technically allowed. The question is whether what you’re doing is helping you practice holiness or making holiness harder to practice.

    Attraction is good. Desire is real. And boundaries aren’t punishment for having either one. They’re what wisdom looks like when two people can honestly say, “We want each other. We love Jesus. And we’re not foolish enough to pretend those two realities don’t require us to make some decisions.”

    “How Far Is Too Far? Let’s Talk About Boundaries”, written by Alex for https://findchristianman.com, Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Chemistry Is Not the Same as Confirmation

    Chemistry Is Not the Same as Confirmation

    Chemistry can be powerful. You meet someone, you enjoy being around them, you can talk for hours, and there is an attraction that feels natural. You may feel like you have known them forever. There is nothing wrong with having chemistry with someone, but we have to be careful about what we allow those feelings to tell us. Chemistry can tell you that you are attracted to someone. It can tell you that you enjoy their personality and feel comfortable around them. But chemistry cannot tell you whether someone has the character to build a Christ-centered marriage with you. Feelings can be real and still not tell the whole story. This is one reason we cannot allow how we feel about someone to become our only way of deciding whether we should marry them. We also need to seek God and allow Him to show us whether the relationship we desire is one He wants for our lives.

    Sometimes we can become so caught up in how someone makes us feel that we stop paying attention to what God may be showing us. We may see the good qualities, the attraction, the attention, and the excitement of being with them, while overlooking things that should concern us. Maybe their relationship with God is inconsistent. Maybe they don’t respect boundaries. Maybe they are controlling, dishonest, or emotionally unhealthy. We can notice these things and still make excuses because the chemistry is strong.

    Paul prayed in Philippians 1:9–10 (NLT), “I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.” Love does not require us to ignore what we see. As we grow in Christ, we should also grow in our ability to discern what really matters.

    Marriage is not built on chemistry alone. There will be days when you don’t feel butterflies. There will be disagreements, disappointments, responsibilities, and difficult seasons. What carries a marriage through those moments is not simply how strongly two people are attracted to each other. Character, commitment, faith, wisdom, and the ability to love according to God’s Word matter.

    Proverbs 3:5 (NLT) says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” That applies to relationships too. We can be convinced that we know what is best because of how we feel, but God sees what we cannot see. Sometimes we are asking God to confirm what we have already decided instead of asking Him to lead us. If we really want God’s Will for our lives and relationships, we have to be willing to let Him show us something we may not want to see. That means slowing down enough to pray, pay attention, and allow God to lead instead of rushing because the relationship feels good.

    First Samuel 16:7 (NLT) reminds us that “people judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” We can see what someone wants us to see, but God sees the heart. He sees their character when nobody is watching. He sees how they handle temptation, how they treat people who cannot do anything for them, how they respond when they are angry, and whether their private life matches their public faith. This is why you cannot make a marriage decision based only on what someone says or how they make you feel. Take the time to watch their life. Listen to what they say but pay attention to what they consistently do. A person can say all the right things and still not have the character needed for marriage. So we may not be able to see the heart the way God does, but over time, what is in the heart will show up in the fruit a person produces.

    This doesn’t mean you are looking for a perfect person. There isn’t one. But there is a difference between recognizing someone’s weaknesses and repeatedly overlooking patterns that reveal dishonesty, lack of self-control, disrespect, spiritual indifference, or unwillingness to change.

    Ask God for confirmation, but also make sure you understand what confirmation actually looks like. Confirmation is not always a feeling of excitement or the fact that everything seems to fall into place. An open door does not automatically mean God opened it. Even circumstances we think are greenlights have to be weighed carefully. Everything falling into place does not automatically mean God is giving His approval.

    When we strongly want something, it can be easy to interpret ordinary events as signs from God. We bumped into each other again. He called right after I prayed. We both like the same Scripture. My friend said we’d make a cute couple. Everything keeps lining up. Whatever we believe is confirmation should agree with God’s Word and never require us to excuse sin, ignore wisdom, or overlook what God has already allowed us to see. Often confirmation comes through wisdom, Scripture, godly counsel, circumstances, and what God reveals about a person’s character over time.

    1Thessalonians 5:21 (NLT) tells us, “Test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good.” We should be willing to test what we are feeling instead of automatically trusting every emotion. Ask yourself: Am I becoming more obedient to Christ in this relationship, or am I compromising things I once believed mattered? Do I have peace because I have sought God, or because I am getting what I want? Can we pray together? Do we agree about the kind of marriage we want to build? Is this person willing to submit their life to Christ? Are there things I am ignoring because I don’t want to lose the relationship?

    Chemistry may get your attention, but it cannot give you confirmation. Attraction may bring two people together, but it cannot sustain a marriage by itself. You need more than butterflies. You need a relationship that can stand on truth, character, faith, and a shared desire to honor God. Don’t be so afraid of losing a relationship that you stop listening to God. If you are asking Him to prepare you for a Christ-centered marriage, then allow Him to lead you—even when His answer doesn’t match what your feelings are telling you. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.‘

    “Chemistry Is Not the Same as Confirmation”, written by Alex for https://findchristianman.com, Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • He Says He’s a Christian, But Is There Fruit?

    He Says He’s a Christian, But Is There Fruit?

    A Profession of Faith Matters, but Jesus Told Us to Look at the Fruit

    A man telling you that he is a Christian should matter to you. If you belong to Jesus Christ, you should want a man who belongs to Him too. But somewhere along the way, we can make the mistake of treating the words “I’m a Christian” as though they answer every other question we need to ask. They don’t. A man may attend church, know Scripture, pray with you, serve in ministry, and know how to have a spiritual conversation. Those things are good, but Jesus gave us something deeper to look for. Luke 6:44 (NKJV) says, “For every tree is known by its own fruit.” Jesus did not tell us to determine what kind of tree we are looking at by what the tree says about itself. Eventually, what is inside is going to produce something we can see. So when a man tells you that he loves Jesus, listen to him. But then give yourself enough time to see what that relationship with Jesus is producing in his life.

    Fruit Shows Up in the Way He Lives

    Fruit takes time to observe, and sometimes you learn the most about a person’s character when things are not going his way. How does he treat people when there is nothing in it for him? What happens when he is disappointed, inconvenienced, corrected, or told no? Can he admit when he is wrong, or does every disagreement somehow become somebody else’s fault? Does he keep his word? How does he handle money? Does he respect your boundaries when they interfere with what he wants? Is he teachable? Can he forgive? Does he exercise self-control?

    Galatians 5:22–23(NLT) says, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” We are not looking for a man who demonstrates every one of these perfectly every day. None of us does. We are looking for evidence that the Holy Spirit is doing something in him—that when his flesh wants one thing and God requires another, there is evidence that he is learning to submit himself to God.

    Be Careful About Explaining Away What You See

    This is where discernment can become difficult, because once we really like someone, we can start helping him explain away his own fruit. We call a pattern of anger “stress.” We call controlling behavior “protective.” We call inconsistency “he’s just busy.” We call sexual pressure “chemistry.” We call spiritual passivity “he’s still growing.” And yes, people do get stressed, people are busy, and every Christian is still growing. One bad response does not tell you everything there is to know about a man’s character. But neither should you keep giving a different explanation for the same behavior every time it appears. There is a difference between extending grace to an imperfect person and refusing to accept what repeated behavior is showing you. Matthew 7:20 (NKJV) says, “Therefore by their fruits you will know them.” Sometimes the hardest part of discernment isn’t figuring out what you’re seeing. It is being willing to accept what you’re seeing when you hoped the relationship would become something more.

    Look for Patterns, Not Perfection

    A godly man can have a bad day. He can say the wrong thing, make a poor decision, struggle in an area of his life, or need time to mature. The question is what happens when his failure is brought into the light. Does he repent? Does he make excuses? Does he receive correction, or does he resent anyone who challenges him? Does he want to grow, or does he simply want you to become more comfortable with behavior that should concern you? One of the clearest signs of spiritual maturity is not that a person never gets anything wrong, but that he can be confronted with truth and allow that truth to change him. A man who is following Christ should be becoming more like Christ. Not overnight, and not without struggle, but there should be movement. James 1:22 (NKJV) says, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” Knowing what the Bible says and allowing the Bible to govern your life are two different things.

    Before you begin imagining what kind of husband he might be, pay attention to the man he already is. You are not trying to determine whether he is flawless, and you are certainly not being called to sit in judgment over another person’s salvation. You are discerning whether the life in front of you is consistent with what he says he believes. Is there humility? Integrity? Repentance? Self-control? Faithfulness? Does he obey God when obedience costs him something? Does his relationship with Jesus Christ affect the way he treats you and other people? Give fruit enough time to grow where you can see it, and don’t allow attraction, loneliness, potential, or the desire to be married to make you afraid to examine what is actually there. If he says he is a Christian, don’t stop there. Look for the fruit.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “He Says He’s a Christian, But Is There Fruit?”, written by Alex for https://findchristianman.com, Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Before Your Vineyard of Love is Ruined

    Before Your Vineyard of Love is Ruined

    In Song of Solomon 2:15 (NLT), we read, “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!” In this verse, “foxes” are used metaphorically. Foxes were known to be destructive to vineyards, and during Old Testament times, their presence was considered a threat to the crops. Similarly, in the context of this poem, “little foxes” symbolize small issues or problems that can threaten the health and beauty of a relationship. Just as foxes can destroy a vineyard, small issues or misunderstandings can harm a relationship if they are not addressed promptly.

    In marriage, it’s easy to take the things we’ve grown accustomed to for granted over time. So, how do we truly value and honor our partners? Reflect on the last time you genuinely expressed appreciation. When was the last time you said “thank you” or let your partner know how much you value them? When they share good news, like getting a great review at work, do you take a moment to congratulate them and celebrate their success?

    Think about the everyday things, too. Do you make an effort to cook regularly, or to keep the place tidy? These small actions might seem routine, but they carry significant weight. They show that you’re committed to nurturing your relationship and supporting your spouse. Little things like expressing gratitude, celebrating achievements, and sharing household responsibilities all add up to a stronger, more loving bond.

    These seemingly minor gestures play a crucial role in maintaining the health and happiness of your relationship. They reflect a deeper respect and appreciation that make a big difference in the long run.

    Philippians 2:3-5 (NLT) tells us, “3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” In marriage, these verses provide essential guidance on how to cultivate a strong and loving relationship. By embracing humility and prioritizing our spouse’s needs and feelings above our own, we reflect the selfless love that Christ exemplified. This involves actively listening to each other, respecting one another’s feelings, and being willing to make sacrifices.

    When both partners commit to these principles, it creates a supportive and caring environment where both individuals feel valued. Embracing this attitude not only strengthens the relationship but also reflects the selfless love that Jesus Christ demonstrated, prioritizing his example in our marriages.

    Hebrews 13:4 (NLT) tells us, “4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” This means that marriage should be respected and valued and staying loyal and committed to our spouses is crucial for a happy and healthy relationship.

    In a marriage, it’s important to guard against the small issues or conflicts that can damage our love, often referred to as “little foxes” in the vineyard of our relationship. Even when it feels like our spouse isn’t fully engaged or giving their best, we must make the right choices and follow Christ’s example of love and faithfulness. By doing so, we nurture our relationship and keep it strong, as we strive to reflect the selfless and enduring love that God desires for us all. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Before Your Vineyard of Love is Ruined”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Most Important Step to Godly Marriage

    The Most Important Step to Godly Marriage

    What You Honor Now Shapes What You Can Sustain Later

    In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT), God’s Word teaches us a profound truth: “19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” Despite society’s attempts to downplay this truth, it remains pivotal in shaping our understanding of personal worth and responsibility before God. Sadly, even within the believing community, there are those who have embraced societal norms over God’s standards. However, there are also those who steadfastly uphold and honor this biblical principle.

    Many single believers today are earnestly seeking marriage and have committed to abstinence, but in a culture where premarital intimacy is normalized, they find themselves challenged as they uphold God’s standards. Choosing to honor Him in this area often invites criticism, but we should never be swayed by this.

    Allegiance to God’s standard

    Scripture provides clear guidance on living distinctively as followers of Christ. In 2 Corinthians 6:17 (NIV), God calls believers to maintain separation from worldly influences, emphasizing the importance of purity and obedience to His standards: “Therefore, ‘Come out from them and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.’” This directive from our Heavenly Father emphasizes the call to live in a manner that honors God’s holiness and reflects our identity as His children.

    Similarly, Romans 12:2 exhorts us not to conform to the patterns of this world but to undergo a transformation through the renewal of our minds, enabling us to discern and live according to God’s good and perfect will. This transformation is essential for living a life that is pleasing to God. Many people think of abstinence as an extreme sacrifice they are unwilling to make. In truth, it is the privilege of obedience that allows us to demonstrate our love for God and unwavering commitment to live by faith.

    Embracing Purity and Purpose

    Sexual purity isn’t just about following rules—it deeply affects our spiritual health and how we honor God. As 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) bluntly puts it, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” This verse shows how sexual choices can seriously impact us physically and spiritually. We must be careful in this area.

    In today’s world, some might say that staying abstinent is old-fashioned or not practical. But believers should know that our main focus isn’t about fitting in with society—it’s about pleasing God. Hebrews 12:1 (NIV) encourages us to “strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.” This verse reminds us to get rid of anything that hinders our relationship with God, including temptations that pull us away from His plan for purity.

    The decision to uphold God’s standards often means facing worldly pressures. It’s a choice between pleasing others or honoring God. While society may prioritize physical desires, our Heavenly Father desires our purity and offers His Spirit to guide us through temptations.

    Again, our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and honoring God with our bodies leads to His blessings, including His guidance in relationships. He wants us to have a God-honoring marriage, and if we seek His wisdom earnestly, He will guide us away from sexual sin and into the beautiful marital union we desire. We must be clear that abstinence isn’t about legalism—it’s about aligning our lives with God’s Will. Abstinence is the most important step we can take towards a Godly marriage. It’s a way to honor Him and protect our own well-being, ensuring we can walk in His blessings and purpose for our lives.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Most Important Step to Godly Marriage”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Trusting God’s Wisdom for Relationships

    Trusting God’s Wisdom for Relationships

    You Don’t Find the Right Man Without First Following the Right Voice

    In Proverbs 4:4–5 (NLT), Solomon recalls the wisdom his father taught him: “Take my words to heart. Follow my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them.” This wasn’t casual instruction—it was direction meant to shape a life. And Solomon didn’t just hear it—he took it in, held onto it, and allowed it to guide how he moved. That’s the difference. Wisdom that sits on the surface won’t change anything. But wisdom that’s internalized will begin to govern your decisions.

    And that matters more than we realize—especially when it comes to relationships.

    Many of us are praying for a good, godly man, but we haven’t fully submitted to the wisdom that prepares us to recognize godly character and make wise relationship choices. We want the outcome, but we don’t always want the process. Yet Proverbs 4:7 (NLT) makes it plain: “Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.” You don’t make wise relationship choices by chance—you learn to make them by being led by God. Wisdom and discernment are what protect you from choosing based on emotion, timing, or pressure instead of truth.

    Because if we’re honest, some of us have learned this the hard way.

    We’ve followed what felt right. We’ve moved too quickly. We’ve overlooked what God was trying to show us because we wanted something to work. But God, in His mercy, doesn’t leave us there. He doesn’t define us by our past, but He does call us to grow from it. Internalizing His wisdom means that we do more than just acknowledge what went wrong—we allow His Word to reshape how we choose moving forward.

    Jesus Christ makes the order clear in Matthew 6:33 (NLT): “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” That includes your relationships. Seeking God first doesn’t mean you’ll never have questions or make mistakes, but it does establish the order of your life. His Word becomes the standard that helps you recognize what honors Him, what doesn’t, and where your own desires may be influencing what you see.

    So this isn’t just about waiting—it’s about alignment with God’s plan for you.

    God already knows your future. He knows whether marriage is part of it, and He knows who you may one day marry. Nothing about your life is uncertain to God, even when it feels very uncertain to you. Nothing about your life is uncertain to Him, even when it feels very uncertain to you. But our impatience cannot be allowed to push us ahead of His wisdom. We don’t control how this comes together. We participate through obedience, through growth, and through trusting His timing even when it stretches us. Because real peace doesn’t come from finally having someone—it comes from knowing you didn’t step outside of God to get there.

    And this is where we have to be careful.

    The world has a lot to say about relationships—what’s acceptable, what’s normal, what’s worth tolerating. But God’s standard has never shifted. If we allow culture to shape our expectations, we’ll find ourselves accepting things that look good on the surface but are completely out of alignment with His Will. And that kind of compromise always costs more than we think.

    So we have to release our grip. Not because we don’t care—but because we trust Him more than we trust ourselves.

    Let God lead you. Let His Word correct the places where your thinking and choices need to change, and let His wisdom teach you how to move differently. When we really trust God’s wisdom, we stop trying to make things work that He hasn’t confirmed. We stop making excuses for things His Word tells us are wrong, and we stop convincing ourselves to settle just because we’re tired of waiting.

    Trusting God’s wisdom doesn’t mean every decision about relationships will be easy. Sometimes you’re going to have to walk away when you really wanted to stay. There may be times when God is telling you to slow down when everything in you wants to move forward. And sometimes, you simply have to wait. This is why our confidence has to be in God and not in our feelings. His wisdom will always keep us aligned with His Will when we are willing to follow it.

    At the end of the day, finding the right man can never become more important than following the right voice. We can’t ask God to lead us and then ignore Him when His direction isn’t what we wanted to hear. Jesus Christ must come first. When He does, we can trust God with who comes into our lives, who needs to leave, and everything in between. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Trusting God’s Wisdom for Relationships”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God Can’t Be Rushed

    God Can’t Be Rushed

    There are inevitably days when being single feels like it’s outstayed its welcome. Longing for the companionship of a husband, you yearn for those days to pass quickly and never return. “Lord, how much longer must I wait?” you ask. The truth of Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT) gives us much-needed encouragement: “7 But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. 8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” God remains steadfast and faithful as we go through our ups and downs, but we must know that His focus is on our soul’s ultimate transformation and growth during this period of waiting.

    Our Heavenly Father deserves our unwavering confidence and faith in Him, extending way beyond the anticipation of a long-awaited partner in life. In Philippians 4:19 (NLT), the Apostle Paul testifies of God’s power, provision, and faithfulness: “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Our Heavenly Father promises to take care of all our needs, and when He makes a promise to us, He’s not going to waver back and forth. He always keeps His promises.

    One of the underlying truths of all blessings is that God can’t be rushed. His timing is perfect, and this truth is the conduit through which all blessings are delivered. Waiting to meet and develop a relationship with our marital partner is a part of trusting God’s timing and plan for our lives.

    Preparation

    The reality of life is that God doesn’t force things to happen. If this was His way, then we’d most likely be born already saved and filled with the Holy Spirit. We’d come out of the womb knowing His Word fully, but we all know that this isn’t the case. God waits on us to grow and learn, and to ultimately make the choice to love Him for ourselves.

    Waiting allows us to grow spiritually and personally, becoming the kind of person who is prepared for a healthy relationship. Personal struggles with doubts, wrong believing, and negative habit patterns can hinder a relationship from flourishing in Christ. Galatians 5:24 (NLT) says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.” Many of us haven’t done this. We’ve not made it a priority to seek God through prayer and studying His Word in order to renew our minds and nail the passions and desires of our sinful nature to the cross.

    If we haven’t demonstrated a deep commitment to God during our singleness, it may be challenging to maintain that commitment once married. This shortfall can have long-term consequences, leading to heartbreak and pain for everyone involved.

    Purpose and Alignment

    Romans 8:28 (NLT) is a powerful and comforting message about the assurance and faithfulness of God in the lives of believers: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” This verse reminds us that God is the One with the plan for each of us, including the timing of when the right person will enter our lives. Waiting acknowledges that God orchestrates circumstances, our spiritual readiness, and the readiness of the other person to align perfectly according to His purpose. It’s a period of trusting His timing and preparing ourselves spiritually and emotionally for what He has in store.

    Even though it may not seem evident to us, God is orchestrating events behind the scenes to align both partners with His purpose, ensuring their relationship starts on a solid foundation. Waiting allows these divine aspects to unfold naturally, but we’re not to sit around twiddling our thumbs. Instead, we should be partnering with God through our faith and diligence.

    Not giving up hope despite delays or setbacks, cultivating patience, acquiring new skills, and using the waiting period as an opportunity to serve others and contribute positively to their lives; these are the kinds of diligent effort that our Heavenly Father rewards. So, by practicing diligence during the wait, we align ourselves with God’s purposes and position ourselves to receive His blessings in His perfect timing.

    God tells us that those who trust in Him are like trees planted by the river. Unaffected by tough times, we remain anchored in Him, productive and nurtured by Him continually through Christ. He can’t be rushed, but He will be pleased by our efforts to use our time as singles as a season of preparation and growth. It’s an opportunity to surrender our desires to God’s timing and guidance, knowing that His plans are ultimately for our good and His glory. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God Can’t Be Rushed”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.