Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Encouragement for Single Believers

  • Don’t Accept Less

    Don’t Accept Less

    Proverbs 15:13(NLT) says, “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.” It’s a pretty well-known fact that joy, contentment, and happiness can add tremendously to our lives. When we’re happy and content, those in the medical profession tell us that it can even improve our physical health. There’s a glow about us when we feel all is well with our worlds, and this is magnified exponentially when we’ve found that special one. When our significant relationships are going well, and things are progressing in a very pleasing way, we are in our happy zone like never before. We wear a smile as bright as the prettiest ornament on a Christmas tree. But when the ‘boo’ is not as pleasing as he once was, or he’s missing in action, that happy face turns upside down, and we forget about what it is to have a glad heart. We have to know that this isn’t what God wants for us.

    When you are dating a man that isn’t yet your husband, and he hasn’t given you an indication that he wants to be, you must be careful about how you invest in this relationship. Contrary to what the world and society want people to think, a boyfriend is just that. He’s a male that is your friend. That “male-friend” status should not give him a suggestion or assumption that he can assume the rights of a husband, but not the responsibility. The only one that can make this distinction clear to him is you.

    I attended an event with a friend at her request. The man she’s been dating on-and-off for years changed his mind at the last moment and would not accompany her. Many of us can relate to her disappointment. Often, she has envisioned him publicly demonstrating his commitment to her as they walk together arm in arm, but continually she is disappointed. Does he have someone else? This is the question so many of us deny and excuse away. We refuse to accept that we’re being deceived and perhaps used, and we continue to accept the man’s behavior.

    As women, we know what it feels like to be truly appreciated and valued. We understand that when a man has good intentions towards a relationship with us, he will make himself available to spend quality time in our company. He’ll make us feel special and that we’re one of the most important people in his life. Most of us go out of our way to make the significant male-friend in our lives feel that way, why would we accept less than we’re willing and capable of giving? We do ourselves a great disservice by behaving this way, because here’s the reality; if we’ll accept crumbs, crumbs are all we will get.

    It’s certainly plausible that a man that causes us to have a sad face and a broken heart more than he causes a happy face and joyful heart may be involved with someone else. Many women are in denial about this, and because they are closing their minds and hearts to the truth, there’s no opening for wisdom to get in. Most of us desire the opportunity to walk together with someone in a relationship that is blessed with the liberty of Christ, where there’s no mess and heavy baggage weighing it down. Well, how can we have this without the truth?

    Jesus Christ said in John 8:32(NLT), “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” We can’t have a relationship where Jesus Christ is the head without knowing God’s truth. God tells us in Proverbs 4:5 to get wisdom and develop good judgment. Good judgment is honoring ourselves as God’s beloved daughters who deserve His best. It’s not putting our heads in the sand and denying the fact that we’re allowing ourselves to want someone that doesn’t truly honor who we are. We’re being lied to and manipulated, and that is not God’s Will for any of His daughters.

    God’s Will for our lives is to give us a blessed future and an ever-expanding hope. He is full of mercy and grace, and He requires us to have faith in Him to present us with a man that will love us through the love of Christ. Some of us have been so bamboozled by counterfeits that we have forgotten what a good man is. Let’s go to God’s Word and be in prayer that Heavenly Father etches His Will upon our hearts and minds. We must not want less for ourselves than what He desires to give us. Wanting the best for your life is never about ego. It’s about trusting that the man God wants for you will inspire and uplift you, so that you can be all that God created you to be. If you’re confident you have the capacity and desire to do the same for him, don’t accept less.  ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Accept Less”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • From the Beginning

    From the Beginning

    Luke 12:48 (NLT)
    “But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly.  When someone has been given much, much will be required in return’ and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.”

    It’s no secret that there are many believers that have been praying to cross paths with their future spouses. Some are exasperated because they believe they’re no closer to finding this person than they were when they first prayed about it. Saved or not, many people blame God when things do not work out for them. They think that God is withholding the blessings they desire most, but nothing could be further from the truth. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t withhold blessings from His children. So, if marriage is something we desire, we’d do ourselves the greatest favor if we strike this notion from our minds, and free up that mental space for our faith to grow.

    Genesis 1:28 makes it clear that God has placed the authority and dominion for successful living into the hands of human beings. Adam and Eve lost this authority and dominion when they bowed to satan, but God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to restore it. Our Master Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that satan came to the earth to steal, kill, and destroy our lives. If we continue to perpetuate the disobedience against God as Adam and Eve did, we will remain under the devil’s realm of darkness. But if we accept the Lord Jesus Christ and all that God accomplished through him, we can have a life that is more than abundant.

    Most of us would be satisfied with just living abundantly, but Ephesians 3:20(NKJV) tells us, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” Our Heavenly Father deals in the “exceedingly abundantly”. This is the overflowing reality that He has made available to us in life. The problem is that most of us do not believe this, and we are not praying to our Heavenly Father to receive a revelation of all that Christ accomplished for us. Whether we know it or not, having a clear understanding about God’s nature, His incredible love for us, and our identity in Christ is our first responsibility to the faith. God requires this from us, and it should be our priority above any other thing.

    In Luke 12:48, Jesus Christ is teaching about responsibility and accountability. He is motivating believers to understand the significance of our actions, because our choices and decisions in life have molded and shaped the reality we are facing today. We want to blame God for our predicaments and say that He has not seen fit to bless us, but the truth is that we each are blessed immeasurably more than we can imagine. So, the question isn’t a matter of whether we are blessed, it’s a matter that is solely based on how we have used what God has given.

    He has blessed us in such a way that we can operate out of His overflow. 2Corinthians 9:8(NLT) tells us, “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” The purpose of God’s blessing is never to hoard it for ourselves, but to generously share it with others. All of this is ordained by Him for the uplifting of His Kingdom and glory, and the accountability for not doing this in the way that God requires must be acknowledged, accepted, and repented.

    God set up the foundation of this world through His brilliance, power, and love. From the very beginning, He abundantly poured into our lives, and He commands us to live a life of giving and loving others through His love. This is our responsibility, and it will never be altered. We cannot ignore this aspect of God’s plan.

    Accountability and responsibility to God demands us to look at how we honor God’s goodness and kindness. We must look at how we’ve obeyed His Word and whether we’ve yielded our entire lives to Him. In truth, many of us have yielded our lives to the man, and by giving our bodies to men outside the boundaries of marriage, we have proven our willingness to choose the man over God.

    We must show our humility to honor God’s requirement. He is not withholding a loving spouse from anyone. He has empowered us to reign in life through the example of Jesus Christ. He’s given us the power to make choices and decisions that will magnetize us to His blessings, but these blessings are contained in Jesus Christ. This means that the degree to which we live abundantly is in direct proportion to the degree to which we live God’s Word and live according to the example of Jesus Christ.

    From the beginning, God gave us free-will choice. From the beginning, He expressed His overwhelming love for us, and from the beginning, He empowered us to have success in our lives. He has made it very plain to us in Luke 12:48 that “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return’ and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” God has given us liberty in Christ, and He’s given us a purpose within His divine plan. Focus your every effort on laying up treasures that can be stored in heaven. Pray for greater revelation regarding your call and be more committed to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. When the Father sees our commitment to honor Him in this way, He will be pleased, and we will witness the exceedingly abundantly in every aspect of our lives. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “From the Beginning”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • More of We Than Me

    More of We Than Me

    My youngest daughter and I were reading one of her books before she went to bed. One of the sentences in the book stated, “I wish for more of we than me.” I instantly thought about how many single women are waiting for their status to be changed from ‘me’ to ‘we.’ They want their lives to include a man by their side instead of it always being themselves alone.  “We” encompasses what God has ordained for the man and the woman. He declared this in Genesis 2:18. In this verse, He tells us that it is not good for the man to be alone, so God made a helper for Adam and named her Eve. The ‘helper’ aspect of partnership is an attitude, willingness, and requirement that is part of the foundation for marriage. It is also true that a good many of us will let this ‘helper’ distinction of partnership slip by us, but it is a big mistake to do this, and here’s why.

    Truly God covers us in His amazing grace, but we can look at our own lives and see clearly that His grace does not exempt us from obedience, NOR does His grace reward us for disobedience. We can dance around this all day and all night, but the thing we need to pay attention to is the realities we face daily. We need to pay attention to what is rewarded in our actions and what is not, because rewards are the evidence of our diligent effort. ALL blessings are spiritual. If the blessing we desire most isn’t manifesting itself in our visible circumstances, this is a spiritual issue. Spiritual issues must be dealt with spiritually.

    God does not withhold blessings, and He doesn’t punish us for any reason. You might ask, “Well, why hasn’t my Mr. Right showed up?” To answer this question, we must come face to face with the truth God has told us in His Word. One of those truths is that God’s blessings continually flow; they never cease. In many cases, the blessings we seek are already in the earth. Your destiny partner may have been born around the same time as you were. He is in the earth right this very moment, doing his thing, as anxious to meet you as you are to meet him. The thing that separates you from him has everything to do with what is happening with you internally.

    Philippians 2:5(KJV) tells us, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” This is not a suggestion by any means. It is a direct commandment, and there is no wiggle room for error or personal interpretation. It is crucial that we learn to think a certain way in order to position and condition ourselves to receive, and this certain way is to think like Christ. It is to have the same attitude, behaviors, and motivations that he had. When it comes to the provision or presentation of a helper, this mind that is in Christ is the only mind that will guide us on the path to the blessing we’re seeking.

    The example of Jesus Christ contains all the lessons of life, but as it relates to marital partnership, there are simply some lessons about his example that we are not allowed to miss. The lesson of “WE” is at the top. The first set of instructions regarding “WE” can be found in the Words of our Master Jesus in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), where he tells us, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”  The most important partnership of your existence is with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. When this relationship is where it needs to be, you will be rewarded with ‘all these things.” This is God’s promise.

    Something happens internally when the button for unyielding dedication to God is switched on in your soul. ‘Helper’ mode is activated. You no longer see yourself as “I”. You see yourself as someone that is purposed to achieve something meaningful for God’s Kingdom. You see yourself as a helper to your marital partner, and you see this as an EXTENSION of your partnership with God. This is a realization and comprehension that cannot come from the world. As you read and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit can help you comprehend mentally and emotionally what is required of you for this deep dedication and commitment first to God, and then to your spouse. It is a dedication and commitment that first must be evident in your relationship with God, and out of your relationship with Heavenly Father, your union with a spouse can be birthed. Marital partnership is a reward for being committed to God. Without this commitment to God, it just doesn’t work.

    Often, when some people hear about the dedication and commitment God expects, they become offended and fearful. They think God expects them to be perfect, and this scares them because they believe it is a standard they are unable to meet. God has this part handled. He tells us in John 16:13 that His Holy Spirit that dwells within us will guide us to all truth. You and I are not perfect. We have been saved through God’s amazing grace, and there’s no mistake that we can make that Heavenly Father can’t correct, but our faith in Him must be constant. So, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being humble before God and recognizing that He alone can and will direct our paths and help us, but our allegiance to Him is the foundation upon which our future marriages must rest.

    Marriage is God’s institution, and it was created for His purpose. God knows the person that will best help us to fulfill our part in His Will and Plan. He knows the person that will greatly benefit from the kind of help we will provide. But you’ve got to play catch-up if there’s no evidence that ‘helper’ mode has been activated in your heart; because the level of commitment we have to this role as a helper of ‘WE’ is the thing that pulls the blessing closer.

    It is a given that we desire to share a bond with someone, but our desire for this bond should never outweigh or come before our commitment to serve God and expand His Kingdom. It is time for us to wake-up and recognize that Heavenly Father is looking at what we are doing today, this very moment, as a helper who is committed to HIM! This says all there is to say about the commitment we’re ready to make to be a helper to a spouse.■

    New King James Version (NKJV)
    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “More of We than Me” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.