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The Right Fit

Puzzles are a very enjoyable hobby for some people. They love the idea of examining all facets of the missing parts, and then looking in a box filled with several pieces for the one piece that will fit. Sounds a bit like being single doesn’t it? Except finding the right person can be much more challenging. Those of us desiring marriage are looking for the person who will fit into our lives snuggly and comfortably; we wish it were as easy as picking a puzzle piece out of a box, but if it was that easy, we might not be as thankful to God as we should be for the gift of a spouse, and it’s also possible that we wouldn’t appreciate the person that we’ll ultimately marry nearly as much as we should.

With each intellectual and technological advance, life seems to become more complex. People are more complicated, and yes, there are layers that we have to go through to find out if the person is a compatible mate. After looking under a few layers of a new person we’ve met, sometimes it is overwhelmingly apparent that they’re not a good fit. Other times, we surmise that he has qualities we think we can work with. So, the puzzle piece isn’t perfectly aligned, but close enough we think. When it turns out that even this was a bust, and our willingness to make it work with someone that wasn’t quite the right fit backfires, the thought of going back to the box can be exhausting.

As a single sister in the Lord, you want to get to a point where you’re not exhausting your emotional energy in a relationship that God has not put His stamp on. Never forget that Jesus Christ knows where you’re supposed to be, when you’re supposed to be there, and how to get you there. Heavenly Father knows the person that is going to help you to be your best self in Christ. He is more concerned about you marrying the right person than you are. When God is in the mix, there’s no half-stepping—no second best—it’s the absolute best for the level of spiritual maturity we’ve obtained in Christ and for the call that God has placed upon our lives.

We have been very sketchy when it comes to this. We’ve doubted God’s attentiveness to detail when it comes to finding the right fit. This is why we sometimes end up in a world of emotional pain. We do the choosing and then expect God to cosign. This approach will almost always leave us at a disadvantage.

A better way is to give yourself the time and space to press into the Holy Spirit for leadership and guidance. There are things about yourself that you simply do not know, but God knows. He knows your future, past, and present. He knows exactly what will be a perfect fit for your life. You may have preconceived notions about what you must receive from a partner in order to feel that he’s the one. You may think you can determine what fits and what doesn’t, and this can be an issue for many of us, because only God knows best.

God requires us to have a certain amount of flexibility, and many of us haven’t cultivated it to the point of yielding and surrendering our desires fully to Him. You must consider that God may want you to become a different kind of person in certain areas of your life before you partner. You may need to alter your puzzle a bit, so that your future spouse will be a piece that fits. If this is the case, God will not keep you in the dark. He’ll tell you exactly what you need to know if you are willing to accept the truth, and if you are willing to allow Him to guide you in your quest.

Take a look back over the pieces that didn’t fit, the relationships that didn’t quite make it. Write a few questions down in your journal, and make the answers about you and not about the other person. Be extremely honest and ask yourself:

1. What impression did I leave on the person regarding God’s love?
2. What are the areas of the relationship where I could have done better?
3. In what ways did I demonstrate my gratitude to God for having the person in my life?
4. In what ways did I demonstrate my gratitude to the new person for being in my life?
5. Did I compromise the integrity of my temple, if so, why?
6. Did I deal with things I didn’t like about the other person in a Godly way? If not, why?
7. Was I able to balance my responsibility to the faith with the demands of a relationship? If not, what could I have done differently?

Sometimes, it is challenging for us to get out of our own way when it comes to our desires to partner. God wants to help us put Jesus Christ in the leading role, so that we are following His perfect plan. As you ask yourself the questions above, and answer them, be sure to also ask the Father to reveal the area that is hindering your faith the most. He’ll answer you through the indwelling Holy Spirit, and help you prepare for the person who truly is the right fit. ■

“The Right Fit”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

July 23, 2017
NO PITY PARTY HERE!!!

No Husband, No Significant Other, No Prospects in Sight

…BUT YOU HAVE JESUS CHRIST!

In Old Testament times, it was not acceptable for a woman to earn her own living. It was not customary for her to call the shots about where she could go, what she could do, and how she could do it. As a child, her father kept a tight rein. Then, when it was time, a marriage would be arranged and her husband would pick up where her father left off. If a woman found herself in the unenviable position of fending for herself, she ran the risk of being labeled a harlot or a prostitute; even if sex was not involved. Inheritances passed from father to son in those days, so a woman who had no husband or son to lean on was in a very tough spot.

This is the position of which Naomi found herself in the Book of Ruth. She became bitter after losing her husband, then later her two sons. They were living in the country of Moab, but childless and a widow, she set out to move back to her hometown of Bethlehem. Initially, Naomi and her husband, Elimelech, left Bethlehem because of the famine in the land. They made a home in Moab, but after the death of her family members, in Naomi’s eyes Moab had become a symbol of tremendous loss.

We can relate, right? You’re in a new place with your husband and family, then tragedy strikes. Everything that you counted on to be safe and sure is snatched from beneath you. All you can think of is trying your best to escape the pain. It’s understandable, but Naomi made a mistake that many of us sometimes make when we take a hit. She forgot the goodness of God. Any time that we forget to be incredibly thankful for God’s goodness, we begin to focus on what we don’t have, start complaining about it, and then bitterness sets in.

We can see this in Ruth 1:20,21 (NLT). It says, “20 So the two of them continued on their journey. When they came to Bethlehem, the entire town was excited by their arrival. “Is it really Naomi?” the women asked. 21 “Don’t call me Naomi,” she responded. “Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the LORD has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me?” This gives us a clue regarding Naomi’s mindset at the time.

God turned things around for both Naomi and her daughter-in-law, Ruth. He had a plan all along. What a lesson for those of us that are waiting on the promise of a Godly and loving marital partner. We spend a lot of time complaining and giving ourselves a pity party, but we need to take heart, be encouraged, and know that God has a wonderful plan for us.

No Husband Yet – It’s okay! Trust me, you’d rather wait on the Lord for a sure thing. We all know what it feels like when we want something so bad, that we’d do just about anything to get it. Rushing is a big no-no. You don’t want to skip a beat when it comes to preparing God’s way. God has set this thing up, and when we’re ready in our minds and hearts to partner, marriage is eminent.

No Significant Other – This is only a temporary part of being single. You’re in the weeding out process. Now’s the time to let heaven and everything beneath it really see that you’re prioritizing God in the number one spot. Go out of your way to prove your commitment to God; then committing to a significant other will fall right in line.

No Prospects in Sight – Listen, prospects can be very distracting. We have to be prayerful and wise about our time. It is important for us to use it by studying God’s Word and learning as much as we can about the Lord Jesus Christ. This is how we learn to know ourselves. 1 John 4:13-16The Message (MSG) tells us, “This is how we know we’re living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He’s given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we’ve seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God’s Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we’ve embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.”

Ask yourself, have you truly embraced God’s love heart and soul? If you have, no husband; no significant other; no prospects in sight will not upset you in the least, because you’re confident that Christ is the head of your life, and he will bring the right man across your path at the right time. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“No Pity Party Here!!!”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

July 17, 2017
When No One Is Watching

A friend shared a teachable moment she had with her teenage daughter while they were on vacation. They visited a store to purchase gifts to take back home for co-workers and friends. When they went up to the cashier to make their purchase, the gentleman was so distracted with other customers that he completely forgot to take their money. Without realizing the mistake, he gave them their merchandise and said “Have a nice day”. My friend immediately and discreetly said, “Sir, excuse me, but you didn’t ring us up. We need to pay for our purchase.” When they exited the store, her daughter said, “Mom, we could have walked out of the store with the merchandise and the money too.” She responded by telling her daughter, “Yes, but do you think God would have been pleased if we had done that?”

Keeping it real, many people would have walked right out of that store with the goodies and cash in hand, and wouldn’t have felt the slightest hint of guilt about it. But what we fail to realize is that our actions in situations like these are markers. They indicate our spiritual maturity level and our preparedness for greater blessings. God is always watching.

Proverbs 15:11(NLT) tells us, “Even Death and Destruction hold no secrets from the LORD. How much more does he know the human heart!” Heavenly Father knows everything under the sun about His children. He knows the choices and decisions we’re going to make before we even think about them. He knows our beginning and our end. He also knows that the human heart can be a pretty treacherous tool when used the wrong way. It can plot the vilest and most evil attacks, and it can also love intensely deep. God knows it all, and He expects us to know that it’s not enough to do right when everyone is watching. What counts are the choices and decisions we make when no one is watching or paying attention. These actions are the ones that speak to what is in our hearts.

One of the standards for this can be found in 1Corinthians 1:21(NLT). The Apostle Paul wrote, “Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe.” The truth that Jesus Christ was a King and the Messiah who died on the cross, was too hard to swallow for some people living during his time, and for many living today as well. They didn’t think that Jesus Christ lived up to their human wisdom regarding what a king should be and how a king should act. When our Lord and Savior came to the earth to reveal the heart of God, he was born in a manger, a place where the animals were kept and fed. There were no huge celebrations regarding his birth, and when he grew up to be a man, he did not wear fine garments and fancy jewelry as one would expect of a king, particularly a king who had all power in his hands.

God is wise beyond what any of us can fathom. If the majesty and excellence of Christ had been revealed through the spectacle of grandeur and trivial things like fancy clothes and jewelry, people would have responded to Christ differently. Many of them would have gravitated towards him and been on their best behavior for the wrong reasons. They would have been consumed with the outward appearances, and not with the liberty and light that he brought to liberate the earth. They would have lavished him with gifts, and pretended to love him, even though their hearts were crooked. In a nutshell, people would have received a superficial message about what is truly important to God.

1Corinthians 1:21(NLT) tells us that people wanted a human sign, something that spoke to their arrogance, to let them know that Jesus Christ was the Messiah, but God wanted to see their true hearts. Jesus did not come to appease those hungry for notoriety and arrogance. He restored sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf; he healed the sick and casted out demons from those that were possessed and oppressed by them. He came to show us the way, and to reveal the heart of the Father. His compassion, and the purity of his love and power is the thing that would awaken the hearts of his people and cause them to want to live right.

Jesus Christ is THE King, but he allowed himself to be brought low and suffered the cross for our sakes. Just as there was nothing superficial about Jesus Christ, God doesn’t want there to be anything superficial about our hearts for Him either. If we are true followers of Christ, we will be honest, loving, respectful, and have integrity especially when no one is looking or paying attention. We will guard our hearts with diligence. We’ll behave in a way that pleases God, and realize that His eyes are upon us every moment of each day.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When No One is Watching”, written by FACM, Finding Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

July 9, 2017
What Are You Thinking?

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Sometimes, we Christians forget that God made Science. All the new discoveries and technological advances exist because of the brilliance that Heavenly Father has woven into all of creation. Today, we are seeing Christian scholars have dialogues about Quantum Physics, because they are beginning to understand how it correlates with biblical truths, and in some cases, expands our understanding of them. Take the body for instance, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, yet the human body is 50% to 75% water. As powerful as we are physically, and as intricately woven together as we are, it’s astounding to think that the body mostly consists of something as fluid as water. This should prompt us to consider the potency of something as fluid as a thought.

A thought isn’t tangible. We can’t touch or feel it. We can’t hold it in our hands and examine it from all angles. It is an expression of an idea or feeling, and although it is seemingly transparent, it is one of the most powerful elements of human existence.

Thoughts are vibrations, and vibrations are frequencies. This is what Heavenly Father created thought to be. Frequencies ultimately result in the manifestation of matter; as thoughts of faith ultimately result in the manifestation of what we are believing to receive. This is the amazingly potent effect of focusing our thoughts on the living-breathing, positives of God’s Word.

Physics teaches us that everything has a vibration. When atoms are observed under incredibly powerful microscopes, they can be seen vibrating. All energy behaves this way. Understanding the mechanics of how things work has not been high on the priority list of many Christians, but God tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge. He doesn’t want us to be ignorant, but to get as much understanding as possible, so that we become wise.

Negativity is at the base or bottom level of existence; it is barely life at all. In other words, it is the lowest form and frequency of operating. Negativity resonates and vibrates with negativity. It is all things dark, deadly, destructive, oppressive, and fearful. It calls attention to what it is. So, when we have negative thoughts, we are signaling everything that vibrates at a level of our negativity; and thereby attracting it to ourselves. Negative thoughts can create a negative cycle that can potentially encapsulate our lives and keep us spiraling downward. Yes, all of this stems from something as powerful and fluid as a thought.

Make no mistake, this is not New Age goobledygook. This is the science behind the brilliant way God created everything to work. When you understand this, you can see why He tells us to fix our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. These are the components of excellence and praise! They have a high frequency; and therefore, vibrate and draw to us the most positive of positives.

God is giving us a strategy for remaining in the arc of His safety, protection, and care. He’s telling us how to stay out of the enemy’s territory of death and destruction. By saturating our thought life with what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, we come into agreement and harmony with God’s goodness through Jesus Christ.

How many of us can actually say that most of our thoughts consist of at least three of the qualities listed in Philippians 4:8? If we’re honest, many of us would give ourselves a pat on the back if we’re staying our minds on at least one of them. We have become accustomed to worldly behavior, and allow the world’s systems to bombard us with too many distractions.

The Apostle Paul said in 2Corinthians 10:5 (NLT), “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” This is the hallmark of a true disciple of Christ. We are to capture the thoughts that go against the grain of God’s love and teach them to obey the Lord Jesus Christ. We do this so that we don’t add to the negativity of this world; we bring light to it, so that darkness can be exposed and eradicated.

God tells us in Romans 12:2(NKJV), “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” To reverse the negative and move ourselves into a positive trajectory, there’s no question about it; we’ve got to renew our minds. This is the methodology that God has given us to align our mental and emotional centers with the guidance of the indwelling Holy Spirit. This is how we keep our relationship with God on track.

Negativity blocks you from being your very best for God. A carnal mind is an undisciplined and untrained mind. The Word teaches us that it is an enemy of God. We must begin to train our thoughts to move in the direction that He has told us they should go. He tells us to renew our minds by transforming our thoughts; this is His definitive directive. Make the conscious choice to renew your mind. Change your thoughts to those that mirror the mind of Christ. If you dedicate yourself to this practice, you will see a dramatic change in your life in the present, and you will lay the groundwork for a fabulous future!■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“What Are You Thinking?”, written by FACM, FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

July 3, 2017
The Amount You Give

As I was taking a walk with a colleague, a person approached us and asked if we could spare some change. If I am moved by the Holy Spirit to do so, I endeavor to give when asked, but neither of us had any money at that time. We walked a little further down and the woman said to me, “I’m a hard-working woman, and I have bills to pay. It makes me so angry to see people walk up and ask for money that way.” None of us can deny that asking for money on the streets by those who have fallen on hard times isn’t what it used to be. For some, ‘begging’ has become an organized profession; with ranks and bosses. But does this mean that we abdicate our responsibility to give to those who ask?

Spiritual maturity, as well as common sense, should be considered whenever we’re approached for money. It can place us in harm’s way, and we can’t be ignorant about this. However, equally harmful to our spiritual walks is denying to give and be a blessing when God has ordained that we do so. The Word teaches us to make a habit pattern of giving. Proverbs 19:17 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Mercy to the needy is a loan to God, and God pays back those loans in full.”

In some respects, I understood my colleague’s frustration. She was expressing a sentiment that I’ve heard others express as well, but we live in an increasingly complex time. There are those that are not able to keep pace as well as some of us are able to. They fall through the cracks, especially individuals that are mentally ill and have emotional challenges. They are either denied access to healthcare or they refuse it. In either case, it is a very difficult thing to see.

We haven’t given nearly as much attention to giving as we ought to, but it is top-tier in the teaching of Jesus Christ. Despite the difficulty of watching their plights play out, he already told us that the poor, broken-hearted, and down-trodden would be among us. Some of them have fallen really hard, and need a lot of help. We have a responsibility to Christ to do what we can.

In Matthew 25:27-40(NLT), Jesus Christ taught about the day of judgement for each of us. He said, “ 27-29 Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God’s hand for that person. Don’t tell your neighbor “Maybe some other time” or “Try me tomorrow” when the money’s right there in your pocket. 34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ 37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[f] you were doing it to me!’”

If you are struggling financially, and living pay check to pay check, then you may find it difficult to give liberally. There are still others of us who have the financial means to give way more than what we do; and we fall short of Jesus’ expectation. He tells us in Luke 6:38 (NLT), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

God also tells us through the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 9:7,8 (NLT), “You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. For God loves a person who gives cheerfully. 8; And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. So, the way to increase our financial capacity, and to hold on to what we have, is to be a blessing and give to others. This is the way that we create a portal that God’s blessings will continuously flow through.

The bottom line is that we need to be intentional about our giving. If you’re feeling a little unsure or unsafe about giving money to those on the streets, pray about it and ask Heavenly Father for direction from the indwelling Holy Spirit. Choose a specific day that you’d like to be a blessing, and pray that on that day, an opportunity to give will open up to you. If your heart is to give in the way that Christ has instructed, He will make sure that the right opportunity and the right person crosses your path. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Amount You Give”, written for FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

June 25, 2017
Love Fulfills the Requirement

“Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirement of God’s law.”
Romans 13:10 (NLT)

No matter who you are or where you are in this world, the one thing that brings all people together is the love of God in Christ. This is the kind of love that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ has demonstrated for us, his brothers and sisters. It allows us to make universal actions and expressions of God’s goodness. Heavenly Father is so pleased when we continue the legacy of the love of Christ, and heaven rejoices when we honor Him by being a blessing to others, and revealing this love to them. A lot of us miss these opportunities, because we feel that we don’t have anything to give, but this simply is not true.

In 1Peter 4:10-11 (NLT), God tells us, “10 God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 11 Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.” God’s Word is true! He has told us that we each have a special and unique gift, so we can rest assured that we’ve been blessed with a gift that we can use to be a blessing to the Body of Christ.

There are many ways that we can impact the lives of others. These are not always big things. They are often small ways in which we can fill in the gaps and make people’s lives better. With everything that is going on in our world, many are feeling sad, disappointed, and alienated. We have neighbors, co-workers, and people in our faith communities that are feeling this way, and we don’t even know it. They are longing for a demonstration of God’s love, even though they may not articulate it. We don’t always have to spend money or inconvenience ourselves significantly in order to be a blessing. A smile or a morning greeting is sometimes all it takes.

God encourages us to begin to operate in our gifts. Even if we are not sure what they are, we should have an intention to show forth His love in some way. Many of us get up each morning to go to work, and we are not sure what each workday might bring. We have been trained to do certain things, but there are other duties that we perform and we haven’t had any training. We just do what has to be done, and we have confidence that we are up for the task. We can’t let it be said that we will do less when it comes to the things of God. We may not know from one day to the next how we are to use our gifts or who might be the recipient of them, but we don’t have to know it. This is the beauty of walking in the Spirit. The indwelling Holy Spirit will guide us to accomplish exactly what God desires us to do each day.

God’s love is everlasting. He just keeps flooding our lives with it every day. As we give it out, He pours more into us. A refusal to give out in a Godly way will block our blessings, because a refusal to give love blocks the flow of God’s love through us.

We must understand that one of the highest expressions of God’s love is to show it to others. Jesus Christ has placed the responsibility of the ministry of reconciliation in our hands for this reason. We can dot all the ‘I’s and cross all the ‘t’s through love, because God tells us in Romans 13:10 that love fulfills the requirement of His statues, commandments, and laws. If we will simply begin to listen to the Spirit and move by his promptings, we will fulfill the requirement and grow in God’s love. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Love Fulfills the Requirement”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

June 18, 2017
The Unveiling Of Your Spouse

Sisters, I know that I can lean on your support and that you’ll give me a pass for venting a little bit. I don’t know if I can take hearing one more Sister in Christ complain that there are no more good men out there. Some of us are actually saying things like, “We might as well get used to being alone, because marriage is not going to happen.” I’m like, “Really!!! Is this all the faith that you can muster regarding God’s goodness? Are you really going to let words like this come out of your mouth?”

It’s not as if these daughters don’t know the Word of God; they do. Many of them have been on the Christian journey longer than I have. I get it! They’ve done the daggone thang’ in terms of their careers and jobs. They’re on the grind daily, taking care of their children and holding it down as the head of their households. Some of them are divorced, and others have never been married. They are dependable, hardworking, and they would say that they’re dedicated to the faith, yet when it comes to the subject of marriage, the script flips.

Let it not be said that we don’t know how to back our faith with good works, because we’re proving it in so many other areas of our lives, but when it comes to relationships with men, and the subject of marriage, we don’t seem to be gaining speed. It appears as if this most precious and privileged blessing is getting away from us, and there has to be a reason for it. I personally believe the problem is doubt. It’s the monkey wrench that keeps us from reaping the benefits of God’s harvest.

Jesus Christ was talking with the disciples one day, and he told them that he wouldn’t be with them long. He told them not to worry about this, because they knew the way. He said in John 14:4 (NLT), “And you know the way to where I am going.”

Thomas was a disciple with distinction, and it was not the most flattering kind. He was known for having a doubting heart and mind. This means that Thomas had trouble with walking by faith and not by sight. He relied on his five-sense-knowledge very heavily. In other words, he had trained his mind and heart to believe only in things he could see, taste, touch, hear, and smell; and if he couldn’t experience it in the flesh through the five senses, he would be extremely skeptical and wouldn’t trust it.

Like many of us, the flesh created a barrier around Thomas, and at times he would refuse to stretch beyond it. His imagination was stunted, because he didn’t use it very much. Christian folks shouldn’t have these limitations, especially when it comes to an area of life that is as important to God as marriage.

When we pray and ask God for something, He has instructed us to believe to receive it. This is the attitude we’re commanded to have. An attitude of ‘maybe’ isn’t appropriate; it’s not what the Father deserves. Even if we’re inclined to be negative, we should believe God with full persuasion on the basis of His goodness alone.

We cannot let doubt win and rob us of our futures. Through Jesus Christ we have a sure thing! In John 14:6 (NLT), he said to Thomas and the other disciples, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” They had been with Jesus throughout his ministry. They should have known this truth, and they should have known the higher calling they had all received to walk in faith. We should know it as well.

He is the way. All of our methodologies, philosophies, predictions, and dating tricks and treats can’t hold a candle to the way of love, truth, and light that he has made available to us. Getting married isn’t about fairytales or receiving something we think we deserve. It’s a commitment to love through Christ, and assume the responsibility for another person’s life and heart. When our faith is fueled by this commitment to God, and is less about flesh, the light of Christ will shine forth and beautifully unveil our spouses.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Unveiling Of Your Spouse”, written for FindingAChristianMan.Com©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

June 11, 2017
Running In The Opposite Direction of Your Blessing

One of the most poignant questions that any single woman can ask herself is “Am I running in the opposite direction of my blessing?” It is such a weighty question that only a sister that is genuinely interested in a pursuit of truth will ask it. We know that God never withholds blessings from His children. He has orchestrated the universe to respond extremely positive towards us as we operate within His Will and Word. So when our lives seem to be going in reverse, and we can’t figure out what’s wrong, the most intelligent and spiritually rewarding thing to do is to ask God for the answers to hard questions.

1John 1:5 (KJV) declares, “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.” This is a foundation-building truth from God’s Word, which means that it will anchor our faith as we seek to live the life that Jesus Christ made available. There is no darkness in God, and to soak in the breath of this truth, we need to be sure we understand what darkness is and what it does. God’s Word defines darkness as the absence of light. It is all those things that the evil one represents; things like doubt, fear, confusion, lack, and destruction. All darkness seeks to blind God’s people in ignorance and keep the truth from them in an effort to destroy them.

God wants us to know resolutely that He is not the author of darkness, and we should know this with absolute certainty. We cannot make the mistake of attributing the things that come from God as those that come from the devil. Neither can we attribute the things that come from the devil as those that come from God. When we are confused about the two, our faith cannot be settled.

God tells us exactly who He is in His Word. He is love. He is all light. He always wants the best for us and for us to be happy. So if we are not experiencing God’s best in a way that fulfills us, it behooves us to consider that there are some thoughts and beliefs we currently hold that might work against our faith, and one of those is the belief that God is not in our corners 100%. He absolutely is, but we must have faith in this. When our prayers are those of asking God to bless us with someone that will honor, love, and support us; our entire way of thinking and behaving towards Heavenly Father has to line up with what we expect from Him.

We can’t operate in faith and fear at the same time. 1John 4:18 affirms, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” Our love for God is perfected through our faith in Him. So when it comes to answers to our prayers, it is good practice to look under the hood and examine if our thoughts and believing are clogging the pistons, and keeping the engine of our faith from running full speed ahead.

No matter what we might think, the truth is that we can only go as far as what we believe and what we’ve been taught. Proverbs 21:2 tells us that a person may think their ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart. This verse confirms that sometimes we think we know what’s best for us; we think we’re on the right track, when in truth it could be that we are going in the wrong direction.

God tells us in Ephesians 4:22-23 (NLT), “Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” To move forward in faith and in our desires, we have to leave our old way of thinking behind, because it no longer serves us. It doesn’t have the energy or fuel to move us forward in what God has for us. Our thoughts and attitudes need to be renewed, and thank the Lord we don’t have to do this without help. The indwelling Holy Spirit will aid us. All we need to do is have faith, and ask. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Running In The Opposite Direction of Your Blessing”, written by FACM for Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

June 4, 2017
A True Friend Indeed

Proverbs 27:17 (NLT), says “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Having a friend that you can count on is a very wonderful gift. This verse in Proverbs paints a portrait of a true friend. There’s a shared sense of caring and concern for one another that grows and develops in a meaningful and supportive friendship. You want each other to succeed in life, and you pour into each other’s lives because you want to see the friendship flourish. In short, a true friend is someone that is on point, and helps us to be on point as well.

How to recognize a potential friend?

My grandmother doled out many pieces of phenomenal wisdom to her grandchildren. One of them was, “Everyone that says they’re your friend, isn’t your friend.” In her own way, she was letting us know that talk is cheap. You really have to look at a person’s actions to know what they are about. A person that has made Jesus Christ the head of their lives and has made a commitment to live for him has the potential to become a good friend. By choosing Christ they have chosen love as the foundation of their lives. Not only is this wise, but it demonstrates a person’s willingness to make things like compassion, gentleness, patience, and generosity a staple in their character.

Look in God’s Word for Examples of Real Friendship

In Genesis 18, God shared His intentions with Abraham. We see a dialogue between them that shows us their friendship. Verses 17-19 tells us, “17 “Should I hide my plan from Abraham?” the Lord asked. 18 “For Abraham will certainly become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. 19 I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.” Abraham is the Father of our believing because he was fully persuaded in God. He knew that if God said it, then it must be true. Heavenly Father also trusted in Abraham. He declared that the descendants of Abraham would become a great nation, and they would be blessed as a result of Abraham’s commitment to honor and trust God.

This is one of the greatest examples in God’s Word of a true friendship. Abraham did not have the indwelling Holy Spirit that you and I have, but still he believed God, and God stamped him “righteous!” because of his faith. There was mutual respect and trust between them, and this was the foundation on which many future blessings rested.

Respect and trust are built as we do things like honor our commitments, speak the truth when we know it will not be easy to hear, and love unconditionally with the heart of Christ. In His Word, God reveals over and over how a commitment to these kinds of qualities are the benchmark of a mutually fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.

Be the Friend You Want

It is important for us to make a decision to start behaving like the friends we hope to have in our lives. Loyalty, honesty, companionship, commonality of interests, and good communication are qualities that we need from others so that we will feel appreciated and valued. We also need to make sure that we are cultivating these characteristics within our own personhood. It is not fair to expect something from a person when we are not holding up the standard ourselves. So as we think about what we desire in our friendships, we need to make sure that we are willing to equal or exceed the benchmarks we set.

Most of us have been taught that we should look at what a person does and not so much what they say. 1John 3:18 (NIV) says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” Jesus Christ also told us in Matthew 7:20 (NLT), “Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.” A real and true friendship is one where we can see the love of Christ in the person’s actions, because they are always looking out for us in ways that add and not subtract from our lives. We don’t see this kind of commitment in friendships often; good friends are not the easiest to find, but if we trust Heavenly Father, and commit ourselves to be faithful, He will help us to meet friends that will be a true blessing to our lives.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A True Friend Indeed”, written by FACM ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

May 21, 2017
In the Face of Weakness

Before his Road to Damascus experience, the Apostle Paul had what the world would probably refer to today as an impressive resume. He had received the best education, was very zealous for knowledge and the law, and he traveled in the circles of those in the upper echelon of Jewish society. One day, when he was on his way to Damascus on an assignment to persecute Christians, he was completely transformed through an experience with Jesus Christ. Up until that point, Paul despised those who followed Christ, and wanted to place them in prison, but after he was converted, he did a complete turnaround and wanted desperately to win souls for Christ. Even though he changed dramatically, there were still some weaknesses lurking about. This is true for all of us, and we can learn from the Apostle Paul about how to turn these weaknesses into strengths that give God glory.

In 2 Corinthians 12:7 (NLT), the Apostle Paul said, “So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.” We know from this verse right off the bat that Paul could have been tempted by something that would have caused great damage to his effectiveness in Christ. It was pride. Many people look at pride as a strength, but we know from God’s Word that He hates a prideful spirit. This isn’t the kind of pride that we feel when our children succeed. The pride that God hates and that can get us into deep spiritual trouble is arrogance. It is an exaggerated sense of self-importance, or thinking more of ourselves than we should.

Paul’s life before his conversion was saturated with arrogance, and after he was saved, the spirit of arrogance was always lurking about trying to find a way back in. Many people believe that it was the Lord God Almighty who sent Paul’s thorn in the flesh, but the truth is that Paul’s propensity towards arrogance was the welcome mat that the devil used to walk in and buffet Paul with this thorn. This gives us some inkling about how harmful pride and arrogance can be to our Christian walks. Pride is a blocker. It blocks our blessings, because it keeps us from walking with humility; and humility is the thing that makes us flexible to the Will of God.

In 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (NLT), Paul said, “8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Many of us struggle with seeing God as an awesomely loving and patient Heavenly Father. We can’t get rid of this image in the back of our minds of a God that punishes and causes suffering. So, when we see that Paul begged God to take away this thorn in the flesh, we look at God’s response and think He’s telling Paul that he has to keep dealing with this thorn without relief. That’s not it at all. God gave Paul a strategy in verse 9 for dealing with the problem. He wasn’t saying that He wouldn’t come to Paul’s aid; He was telling Paul how to put the devil under his feet. God told Paul, “Use my grace, son. That’s what’s going to give you the victory in this situation. That’s the power that is going to turn your weakness into your strength. My grace is all you need!”

The word weak is defined as the lack of power or physical strength. It is being close to a breaking point or giving way under pressure. This is the condition many Christians find themselves in when they succumb to the pressures of life, especially when their lack of faith in God gives way to sinful behavior. I’ve heard many of my single Christian friends speak of how much they regret actions they’ve taken because they lacked patience as it relates to dating.

They start out with a healthy appetite for doing everything God’s way in the beginning of their relationship with someone new, but by the third or fourth month of dating, their self-control goes straight out of the window.

The Apostle Paul was able to boast in his weakness because those were the times when he stopped leaning on his flesh and began to lean on God’s grace. Where Paul’s strength failed, the power of the Holy Spirit surpassed and succeeded; and God was glorified. Paul was going through some horrible times and he had many enemies, so much so, that he prayed often for God to remove the “thorns in his flesh”, but God knew that Paul needed to lean on Him, and not be so concerned about the people that wanted to see him suffer.

When we don’t trust God through our tough times, our lack of faith provides the opening the enemy is looking for. We need to know that through Christ we can flip our weaknesses into an incredible opportunity to see God working through us. Paul understood this, and this is why he said, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Always remember that God knows full well what we’re made of. He knows our weak points, but He also knows that in the face of weakness, we can go within to the Spirit that indwells us, and he will do the miraculous through God’s grace. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“With God’s Blessing, Go Ahead and Marry”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

May 15, 2017