Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Women’s Organization

  • The Fullness of Marriage

    The Fullness of Marriage

    Ephesians 5:33(NLT)
    “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

    Marriage is so meaningful to us because God has made it all about His love. Through spouses, God provides for us. He takes care of our hearts and the need we have for companionship. Genesis 2:18(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” We cannot neglect or ignore the reality that it was God who said that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. It was His Will to make companionship necessary for the well-being of humanity. Eve, the first woman, was not an afterthought. God did not suddenly decide that her being was necessary. Both man and woman—male and female were always His plan. Even before He established the foundation of the world, He knew that He wanted a family, and He knew that through their union, Adam and Eve would produce that family. So, we must always remember that marriage is the institution God ordained to preserve the holiness and the sanctity of the oneness between men and women.

    Question 1

    Understanding that marriage is God’s institution and that it fulfills His purpose in the earth should prompt us to ask if we are desiring to get married for the right reasons. The wrong reasons to want to get married all have their root in selfishness. There can be no doubt in our minds that question 1, (if we’re marrying for the right reasons) will require us to be brutally honest, and this brutal honesty will press us to look at our past handling of relationships with men.

    Many of us have been guilty of promiscuous behavior. We gave our bodies to men that were not our husbands, and some of us did it on the regular. Our Heavenly Father is not in heaven holding this against us, but if we have not repented and sought God’s forgiveness, the enemy is blocking us from moving forward.

    We were selfish in our sinful behavior. We were seeking our own agendas of holding on to the man and satisfying our own fleshly pleasures. Running from this truth will only continue to hold us back. As women of faith who have a heart to share the fullness of marriage with the man God has ordained for that purpose, we must hear what God is saying to us. His Son had to die in order to cleanse our sins by his blood, and we cannot continue to dishonor God. We can’t repeatedly do the things that displease Him and expect to be rewarded. In the Book of Revelation, in his letters to the churches, Jesus Christ would end them by saying that anyone with ears must listen and understand what the Spirit is saying. He is telling us we must open our ears and hear the truth.

    Question 2
    Are you spiritually, emotionally, and mentally mature enough for marriage? If so, how do you know? There’s a saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.” This saying holds tremendous wisdom. When we are ready to hear the truth, we will open our ears, and someone will speak the truth to us. By the same token, when we are spiritually, emotionally, and mentally mature enough to handle marriage, the spouse will show up.

    For many of us, this is a tough pill to swallow because all of us think we’re ready. We think we haven’t met the spouse because God isn’t cooperating with our desires. That simply isn’t true. God’s creative perfection and laws were woven in the universe long before any of us came on the scene. He has designed things in such a way that when our faith is in the right place spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, manifestation does its thing! God doesn’t miss, we do. So, if the reality is that we’re not yet ready to handle the fullness of marriage, it’s time to increase our faith in God and pray that He will help us to prepare. He will do a work within us through His Holy Spirit, but we must be willing and ready to hear and accept the truth.

    Question 3

    Marriage is not always romantic. Are you expecting it to be? Marriage can be the hardest work we’ve ever encountered, and if we are not prepared to faith our way through some of the challenges, we might see divorce as an easy out. God wants marriage to be permanent. Some of us can’t imagine being sold-out in our commitment to honor God, and because of this, we can’t imagine a lifetime of being committed to His institution of marriage. We must be confident that there’s no problem we will face that cannot be solved by the Lord Jesus Christ, and we must understand that God expects marriage to be a lifetime commitment.

    In the beginning of a marriage, there might be an adjustment period, and there might also be problems and disagreements. Two people coming together can be difficult at first because none of us are perfect. God made some differences between men and women standard with our packaging. In some cases, we’ll need to stretch in every area to understand one another, and as we do, we will grow in the love of Christ which deepens and holds our union together.

    1Peter 4:8(ESV) says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Some men will demand a certain kind of respect from their wives before anything else, but their definition of respect is sometimes a little different from God’s. God’s definition of respect is steeped in love, understanding, and compassion. On the other side, some women want to be showered with gifts and pampered when they haven’t done much of anything to deserve those things. We need to understand that marriage is a cycle of both giving and receiving. The bottom line is that both need to adjust their expectations when it comes to the other. Both spouses need to understand that marriage can be as beautiful and fulfilling as God ordained it to be. It’s full, loving, and robust, but it is always going to be our responsibility to make and keep it that way.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Fullness of Marriage”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • A Proverbs 31 Kind of Wife

    A Proverbs 31 Kind of Wife

    Proverbs 31:10-12(NLT)
    “10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

    As single women, we should remind ourselves of this Old Testament passage in Proverbs 31 often. It’s God’s wisdom that was taught to King Lemuel by his mother. During the king’s day, sexual immorality was as rampant as it is today, and the king’s mother wanted him to steer clear of women who practiced this kind of behavior. Sexual immorality diminishes the strength of both men and woman in so many ways, and this mother broke it down to her son because she wanted him to be strong and to marry a strong wife. God will point a good man in the direction of a virtuous and capable wife, and we should desire with all our hearts to be the one at the end of His finger.

    God has given men great responsibilities, the top one is producing Godly children that will continue his legacy of honoring God. Women can support and nourish life in their wombs and out of the womb, but only the seed of a man can produce children, and this is according to our Heavenly Father’s brilliant design. Jesus Christ walked upon this earth as a man, and through him, God made it possible for us to be His children. Romans 5:17(NLT) says, “For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ.” Because of what God has done through Jesus Christ, we can have God’s seed, the Holy Spirit, inside us, and this is what makes us His kids.

    Romans 5:18(NLT) says, “Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone.” The right relationship with God that we have because of Christ should produce the kind of woman that Proverbs 31:10-12 speaks about. As a single woman, you must have the kind of heart that rejoices in what God has done through Christ every day of your life.

    A virtuous woman is a woman whose heart is sold out to God. She honors him with her whole life and because of this, God blesses and rewards her. So, we must know that the motivation for being a virtuous woman isn’t to snag a man, it’s to please God. This is want positions us to be in the right place at the right time.

    God wants us to know that the things of His Kingdom come first. Moving His agenda forward should be continually on our minds, but some of us are just not there. We’re desperate for marriage and want it for the satisfaction of our own agendas. We’re not thinking about a well-formed partnership that is drenched in God’s anointing and purpose. We’re not thinking about the mission that God has for our future spouses and how we might help them fulfill it. Other things are on our minds, but we’ve got to change that.

    Social media is flooded with women talking about what they deserve, and about what they will and will not accept. Their desires for marriage are tanked by a strong sense of entitlement. They want to be catered to. They want the man to take care of them without the heart to do the same. God tells us in Jeremiah 17:10(NLT), “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” God is the Giver and Provider of blessings. He knows our hearts. He sees what we do and knows our secret motivation.

    Proverbs 12:4(NLT) says, “A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.” Some of us single women are beyond childbearing years. Our children may be fully grown, but we’re desiring marriage. That desire must be matched by a commitment to God and the willingness to follow His guidance. The intent to be a blessing and put the welfare of a spouse above your own is paramount. You must have faith that God will take care of your needs when you fulfill your obligation to His Will and purpose.

    For those that are praying to meet their spouses and begin a family, the commitment to God must be your priority as well, perhaps even more so. Helping to teach your children God’s Word and to raise them according to it must be in your heart. As women of faith, our standard of Godliness and virtue has been set by our Heavenly Father. Making Proverbs 31:10-12 our goal keeps our hearts pure and our minds strong. Pray to God. Humble yourself before Him and release anything that keeps you from being the wife that He wants you to be. Do this often, so that you please the Father and become a wife who greatly enriches your husband’s life. This is important to God, and it must be important to you.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Proverbs 31 Kind of Wife”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God

    Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God

    1Kings 11:4(NLT)
    “In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the LORD his God, as his father, David, had been.”

    When he was a child, Solomon, the son of David, was destined to be the king of Israel. It was an enormous task for someone so young, and he had the good sense as a child to ask our Heavenly Father for wisdom and understanding. 1Kings 3:9-10(NLT) tells us he prayed, “9 Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours? 10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom. 11 So God replied, “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—12 I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have!”

    King Solomon was the wisest and wealthiest king to ever live, but like all of us, he had his issues; he loved women. The bible tells us that he had over 700 wives. His love of women was his weakness, and ultimately, it was his downfall, even after all the glorious things that God had done for him. Solomon did what God told the men of that time not to do; he married Moabite and Hittite women. 1Kings 11: 2(NLT) says, “The LORD had clearly instructed the people of Israel, ‘You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.’ Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway.” Solomon’s actions are like ours sometimes. God has told us how to keep ourselves in His peace and blessings, but we don’t follow what He says.

    1Peter 1:14(NLT) tells us, “So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.” Before we became saved, and for some of us even after we accepted Christ, we approached relationships in a sinful way. We allowed the man to be number one in our lives and we did not prioritize our relationship with God in the number one spot. The thing that slips by many single women that are desiring marriage is the fact that the old way of approaching and operating in relationships is still in their hearts. They are carrying the old ways with them everywhere they go, even though now they know better.

    Solomon witnessed the way that his father, King David, followed and loved God, but he still insisted on doing the thing that didn’t honor his relationship with our Heavenly Father. Like Solomon, some of us allow our weakness to get the best of us as well. Then, when we end up in heartbreak or worse, we refuse to connect the dots between our actions and the consequences we’re facing. Because of this, we do not learn to grow in faith and obedience and will more than likely continue making choices and decisions that bring us more pain. This isn’t what God wants for us.

    Our desire for a blessed marriage that is ordained by our Heavenly Father requires that we have the kind of heart for Him that proves He is first in our lives. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NIV), “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” It isn’t enough to simply say we’re putting God first. He knows exactly what we’re treasuring most. He can see whether we’re truly loving Him as we should because He can see what is in our hearts. He said in Jeremiah 17:11(NLT), “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.”

    Nothing in life can come before God. We usually think of bowing to a statute as idol worship, but it doesn’t have to be as literal as that. Idolatry is the practice of placing anything before the honor, worship, and praise we should give to our Heavenly Father. Whether it’s too much time on social media, sports, your boyfriend, dream job, or even your family; while none of these things are wrong, they can become a slippery slope if we fail to keep them in their proper place.

    Rebellion is a sinful desire to operate independent of what God says. It’s not seeking Him but doing our own thing; just like the devil did when he wanted to be independent of God and not submit to His Creator anymore. Many of us become consumed and totally wrapped up in things and people, especially when it pertains to significant relationships. That’s what the devil wants. It’s one of his tricks to get us to take our eyes off God, so that we will not place God in His rightful place of authority and sovereignty. If the devil gets you to take your eyes off God, then you might begin to think that you don’t need Him or need to follow His instruction. This is what the slippery slope of a mindset and heart of rebellion will do to us.

    We can’t let that happen. We desperately need the Lord, and we need to be doing the things that show Him we’re seeking and placing Him first in our lives. Even though you may not understand the Word as well as you would like, still read and study it. The Holy Spirit is our Teacher, and he lives inside us. He will help us to comprehend the Word. So, we must pray often and read God’s Word, because this is the very least we can do to show Him how important He is to our lives. Don’t allow yourself to be tricked out of your relationship with our Heavenly Father. You must place more focus, energy, and time on your relationship with Him than you do on any other person or thing. This is what shows all of heaven and everything beneath it that you are focused on God and spiritually ready for all He has in store for your life.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom

    You’ve been waiting for this moment for most of your adult life, and now it’s here. The man you met thirteen months ago proposed and you couldn’t be happier. Whether you’ve never been married, or you’re divorced or widowed, getting married is always going to be a life changing experience. Finally arriving at the place where you can honestly say the wait is over is a really big deal and a sigh of relief. That’s not to say things are perfect. If you’ve been dating the same person a while, you’ve probably seen a lot of things in him that you really love and a few things that could use some work. You understand that neither you or your future spouse is perfect, but you’ve agreed to be committed to one another and help each other grow. Single women who have yet to get to that point should know that there’s a profound spiritual element that causes all this to come together and move a woman from dating to marriage, and that element is God’s wisdom.

    Proverbs 2:6 tells us that it is the Lord who gives wisdom, and knowledge and understanding come from His mouth. Many singles haven’t fully believed this and have sought many other sources for what can only come from God. He tells us in Proverbs 4:7(NKJV) that “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” A principal thing is a thing that is highest on the list of importance. This means that wisdom ranks very high in God’s Book. He wants us to obtain knowledge from His Word, and He also wants us to understand the knowledge we’ve acquired. This is what keeps us growing and flourishing in our Christian lives.

    Navigate before you date
    Wisdom is the principal thing that allows us to navigate dating from a position of faith even before we begin to date. We forget sometimes that we are spiritual beings with a soul having an earth experience. As spiritual beings, we are continually sending out messages through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions. We are also constantly responding to the messages that others around us send as well. God tells us in His Word that all this sending and responding better add up to His love, because if it doesn’t, we’re sending and responding to the wrong messages, and we’ll miss what He has in store. This is one of the reasons we find ourselves unable to get out of the gate when it comes to marriage. We’re not yet sending a strong and right message of God’s love.

    To navigate before you date, you must have a commitment to stand on the foundation of God’s Word no matter who you meet and how much he likes you and you like him. This isn’t just about sexual sin. It’s also about understanding your position and facing the reality that its up to you to help move yourself and your relationship from point A to point B. You must span that distance through your faith in God, and if you are disobeying Him, you are not walking in wisdom or faith, and He can’t bless that. If you’re planning to sin two weeks after you meet the guy, you’ve lost the treasure before it even has time to develop and grow.

    Be in agreement with God’s plan
    Two people that are ordained by God to walk together in life are in each other’s destinies. God has already taken care of this. They are magnetized to each other, but faith is the thing that moves them closer to one another. When they are checked-in to destiny, and they are sending and responding in a way that resonates God’s love toward one another, all things will work together for their supreme benefit. This is the way all good things come together. Amos 3:3(NKJV) asks “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This points to an agreement that is more than physical or mental. It’s a spiritual agreement, and we cannot get to that point unless our chief concern in life is loving God through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions.

    To come into agreement with God’s plan, all parts of you must be on board with His love. Romans 12:1(NLT) affirms this. It says, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.” God purchased us with a very high price, the price of the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He wants all of you, your spirit, soul, and body, to be presented to Him as a living sacrifice. God has a purpose for your life, and in order for it to unfold, you must be in total agreement with Him through what you do, think, feel, and say.

    The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NKJV), “The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;” In other words, God is going to fulfill His purpose for our lives. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for us. Again, our responsibility as believers is to align ourselves with His plan and purpose. When we do this, amazing things will begin to happen.

    Pray to receive God’s wisdom and understanding
    Dating is not the first step towards marriage, becoming spiritually prepared for it is. Your mind and heart must be sold-out for God before you think about loving, supporting, and ministering to another person’s heart and life. Proverbs 16:9(NLT) tells us, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” It is irrational and illogical to think that we can line up our faith with God’s plan and purpose for our lives when we don’t even know what God’s plan and purpose of our lives is. We need to spend quality time in prayer and pray to receive revelation and guidance through His indwelling Holy Spirit, because Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13 that the Spirit is the One that will guide us into all truth. You must humble yourself and surrender to God in every aspect of living, dating, and marriage.

    1Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not the author of confusion and chaos, but of peace and order. He is organized beyond anything we can imagine. He knows the end at the beginning and beginning at the end. There’s nothing about anything that you and I could ever do in our lives that would surprise Him. He knows the plan He has for us, and His purpose and the mission He has set for our lives is for us to walk in His love to the greatest extent possible. God wants to look at your heart and see Christ, and that is His priority for you.

    God has given us marriage to teach us how to love one another and to teach us the depth, breadth, and width of His love for us. When Jesus Christ returns, there will be no need for marriage, so we must pray and be ever so careful that we don’t get out of order and begin to think that marriage is more than what God designed it to be. Our Heavenly Father requires that we put and seek Him first in all things. No matter how long we live, no matter what we do, and no matter who we are, it will all boil down to how well we love God. This determines our spiritual preparedness to navigate dating with God’s wisdom and to take our relationship with the right person from dating to marriage ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • A Friendship that Leads to Marriage

    A Friendship that Leads to Marriage

    1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)
    “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

    Imagine being friends with a man that you’re interested in, but you don’t think he’s interested in you in the same way. How do you handle this? Do you stop being in his company? Do you conclude definitively that there’s no possibility for something more? What if he meets someone else, can the two of you still remain friends? This can be very tricky and as women of faith, we must be careful and use discernment. 1Thessalonians 5:11 tells us that part of our responsibility to Christ is to build each other up. So, we should be very careful not to offend or harm our friend’s relationship with God by causing a mistake that could have been avoided.

    I had a boss once that said to me that he never allows anyone to ride in his vehicle outside of his family. When I asked him why, he said it eliminates confusion and cuts down on unnecessary explaining when it pertains to the opposite sex. I completely understood his logic. It speaks to the culture and climate we’re currently living in. Taking a friendship outside its boundaries can create confusion and even more issues, especially in the workplace. When the affection is one-sided, jealousy, obsession, and anger can rear their ugly heads and put the other person in a very compromising position. These are real circumstances happening to real people.

    Our Heavenly Father wants us to have fulfilling lives, and friendships add so much flavor and fulfillment to our existences. However, when it comes to relationships between men and women, we should walk in wisdom. Proverbs 3:13-15(NLT) tells us, “13 Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. 14 For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. 15 Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Platonic relationships between men and women are certainly possible, and many such relationships are common, but wisdom dictates that there must be some established boundaries that both people are committed to uphold.

    Proverbs 27:17 tells us that iron sharpens iron. God teaches in His word that friends should help to keep each other sharp in God’s wisdom. They should help and not hinder each other spiritually. So, it is incumbent on all of us to have motives that are pleasing to God in our friendships with men, and to guard our hearts so that we do not begin to develop romantic feelings. Some might say, “You can’t help who you love.” That’s a very romantic sentiment, but sincerity is no guarantee for truth.

    God is our Creator. No other deserves our greatest level of love more than He does. Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Yet, most do not love God in this way. They don’t love Him in this way because they consciously choose not to love Him. Jesus Christ gave us this commandment because the truth is that love is a choice. We choose who we will love, and we choose who we will not love. We have free-will, and we are in charge of our emotions; our emotions should not be in charge of us.

    2Timothy 1:7(NLT) says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” We were not created to be emotionally out of control. God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, and we must have faith that we can operate in our friendships with men and women from a place of strength, Godly love, and self-control.

    Amos 3:3 (NLT) asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” This is really key when it comes to a friendship that might lead to marriage. As a woman, you must do some self-examination to keep your intentions aligned with God’s Will. We must be clear that God sends the right person for us, and He will let us know who that person is. So, when we develop feelings for a friend, the first thing is not to pray that God will make this man return your affection. God never oversteps our free-will. He does not force us to love Him, and He will not force someone to love us.

    Some friendships with men do move from the platonic stage to ultimately marriage, but we need to always hear from God on this matter. If a male friend hasn’t given you any indication that you are anything more than a friend, keep strict to those boundaries. You will be in a much better position to navigate with peace and ease if you continue to be Godly and focus on pleasing our Heavenly Father. It’s a blessing to have good platonic male friends, and to also be a blessing in those relationships by maintaining boundaries and walking by the example of Christ. Understand that you can do this if you walk in wisdom. Only want what God has for you, and have faith that what is for you, you will not miss. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Friendship that Leads to Marriage”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • The Gift God Has for You

    The Gift God Has for You

    1John 4:7-8 (NIV)
    “7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

    When God’s love is anchored within us, we have an abundant resource to draw from. This makes all the difference in all our relationships, but especially so in our significant relationships with men. The Big Story of Life is God’s love. The introduction is that God loves us and wants to be with us. The main storyline is that He has made a way for this to happen through Jesus Christ, who is the central character and subject of life from the beginning to the end. It is important we recognize that nothing moves us forward with any great degree without beginning every action with the knowledge of God’s love and the motivation to move in, with, by, and through it.

    Adam and Eve lost access to God. They showed us the tragedy that occurs when we choose something over our love for our Heavenly Father. They were disconnected from Him and His holiness when they sinned against His Word. This was catastrophic for humanity on every level, but God did not leave us in this trouble state. He had a plan of redemption long before Adam and Eve came on the scene, and through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, He saved us from sin and death. God is our Redeemer, Rescuer, Refuge, and Rewarder. He laid it all on the line to save us, and He did this because He wants to be with us, and He wants us to love through Him.

    Jesus Christ has given us direct access to our Heavenly Father. Jesus died for the sins of the world, and God accepted his death on the cross as a sacrifice for all our sin. Jesus was innocent, and he died the most agonizing, brutal, and horrific death in order to restore our friendship with God. Romans 5:10-11(NLT) says, “10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” This is an amazing passage! It ties together our rejoicing over our redemption to the kind of gratitude we should have in our relationship with God. This joy we should have over our friendship with God should shape and mold our days before they even begin.

    The reality we’re now facing is that many single women are not living with joy, and they are not rejoicing about what it means to be friends with God. They are not intentional about their gratitude for the price God paid through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and in their hearts, there’s little trace of the depth, width, and breadth of love we should have for our Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ set us free from sin and shame. He died in our place, and paid the penalty required for all our wrongdoing, but many of our actions convey we lack both the enthusiasm and thankfulness for all God has done. Our prayers must shift so that this, more than any other thing, is the priority in our prayer-lives.

    Through Jesus Christ, God has placed His Spirit within us. In the Old Testament, in Ezekiel 36:26(NLT), God prophesied through His prophet, “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Because of the finished work of Jesus Christ, this is the kind of heart that we can have. By becoming born-again and accepting the gift of salvation that Christ offers, we receive God’s Spirit, the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13 that the Spirit will guide us into all truth. He will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ, and he will tell us about the future. Philippians 2:13 declares that the Spirit will work in us and give us the desire to do what pleases God.

    So, we don’t have any excuses. God has made it possible for us to have the kind of heart He is looking for. He has given us the capacity to love Him in a way that delights Him, but as women, some of us are not interested in doing this. Jesus Christ is the gift that God has given to the world, and a whole life’s worth of thank-yous wouldn’t equal the gratitude we should express. We are just way too concerned with delighting in a man, and we’ve placed delighting in God in the back seat. That won’t do. We must pray that the Spirit will help us to change this.

    The Spirit is the One who does all the Work, and God simply commands us to let him. We do this through prayer, meditation, and studying God’s Word. Our prayers should be more about our relationship with God than any other thing. We should desire Him so supremely that our entire being is a love song dedicated to His glory.

    The gift that God has for us is received only when we acknowledge that the greatest gift we could receive has already been given. Everything we receive after salvation is a reward from honoring God with gratitude and obedience for the sacrifice of Christ. The love that was demonstrated towards us by God must be deep in our hearts. It must create a well in us that is overflowing to such a degree that our spouses are drenched in it. We must understand that we cannot be a wife ordained by God without understanding that the sacrifice Christ made is pure love. To be prepared for marriage, we must be a different kind of woman. We must understand that love indeed means sacrifice, and only then can we love our husbands with the same commitment and depth of love that Christ has for us. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Gift God Has for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Don’t Rush

    Don’t Rush

    Proverbs 19:3(NLT)
    “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD.”

    Everything that we do, think, and say has a consequence. Whether our actions are good or bad determines whether what we get back is a reward or a curse. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:43-45(NLT), “43 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 44 A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. 45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” There’s no escaping this truth. Everything that we do comes from what is in us. It comes from our hearts, and often the lessons that God teaches us are about what we need to get out of our hearts and what we need to put in them.

    Our time as unmarried individuals is very special, but often we don’t view it that way. It’s special because it gives us time to grow in Christ and to learn the spiritual lessons that prepare us for married life. Most importantly, our time as singles can and should be used to deepen our relationship with God. As single people, we don’t have nearly as many distractions because we’re not obligated the way we would be if we were married. Time to devote and develop our prayer lives and cement our faith are the gifts we can give ourselves while we’re single. Many believers that are married fondly look back to the time they spent with Heavenly Father during their unmarried years. It was truly special to them because the intimacy they shared with God increased their faith tremendously.

    James 1:12 tells us that God blesses those who patiently endure. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, and it is a quality that every true disciple of Jesus Christ must have. Many women desiring marriage have not fully understood God’s requirement in this area. They are not patiently enduring the wait by using that time to grow stronger in their relationship with Him. Instead, many of them want to rush to marriage and have refused to study and meditate on the Word and spend quality time with Heavenly Father.

    In 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), God told His prophet, Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” When it comes to meeting the man that God has ordained to walk with us through life and establishing a relationship with him, some of us want to rush the process to avoid spiritual growth. We think we’re ready, and we’re wondering why this blessing is delayed. We never think about the reality that God is looking at our hearts and that our failure to examine them is separating us from what we desire.

    Our past relationships brought some deep-down stuff to the surface. We might have placed all the blame on the ex and absolved ourselves completely of any issues that came up, but not honestly dealing with an issue causes it to be on repeat. There were some things that came out of our mouths that provided a snapshot of what is in our hearts, and it was not a pretty picture. We’ve yet to deal with that, and it is hindering us from moving forward.

    Our past indicates a tendency to rush into situations that aren’t for our good. We rushed into relationships with men without getting a greenlight from our Heavenly Father, and given the opportunity, we might do the same thing again. Rushing into anything or anyone is an indicator that we’re trusting our own abilities more than we trust in God’s wisdom and timing. That’s not good. Leaning on our own understanding is the foolishness that Proverbs 19:3 points to, so we should avoid this at all costs.

    Before we walk down the aisle, we have to be prepared to handle the heft of what comes next, and the proof of that our good stewardship and spiritual strength is how we’ve handled and prioritized our relationship with God. When you make a mistake and realize it, this is not the time to run or blame, it’s the time to assess, reprioritize, and repent, because this prepares you for the compassion and patience marriage requires. It’s time to take a realistic look at the lessons of accountability, and make sure they are firmly in our grasp. We can’t rush past them, but we must seek the Lord for help to patiently confront any issue that keeps us from having a heart that is full of His love. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Rush”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • It’s Not About You

    It’s Not About You

    Galatians 5:19-21(NLT)
    “19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.”

    The grace that God has given us is too amazing for words. Through the sacrifice and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, God has saved us, and He has empowered us through His Holy Spirit so we can live successfully within the earth. For years too many to count, He has been patient with our sinful indulgences and behavior, and although He is as patient and merciful as He ever was, something within this earthly realm has changed. The consequences of our actions are more severe, and we no longer have the time we once had to get things right with God.

    For many of us, the desire to get married is still first and foremost in our hearts, but the path seems more challenging to find. This shouldn’t be surprising to us. 2Corinthians 4:4(NLT) says, “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.” Our Heavenly Father has provided a wealth of knowledge about how satan operates in this verse. First, He tells us that satan is the god of this world. When we study God’s Word more closely, we will see that satan was given this position by us. Our sin put him there, because there’s a whole lot of sinning going on in the world, and sin transfers what God meant for us to satan.

    One of the chief functions of darkness is to blind so that light cannot be seen. This is another piece of wisdom that 2Corinthians 4:4 conveys. If we do not believe in faith, we can be blinded from the treasures that faith reveals. Sadly, this is the condition of many people, more specifically, those that desire to be married.

    We understand that the activity of evil in the earth has accelerated, perhaps more in our time than any other. The lives of many people are totally consumed by what is happening in the world, and they dedicate even less than an hour a week on the things of God. This is what blinds them. It’s what keeps their eyes from landing on the very thing that would lead them down the path of what they’re desiring.

    Our Heavenly Father has given us free-will. We can do whatever we choose, but there is a consequence for every action. If actions are aligned with the Will of God, the consequence will be a reward. If actions are aligned with darkness, the consequence will be more darkness. The wrong actions, behaviors, confessions, and thoughts will corrupt our lives and cause everything to work against us. God commands us to steer clear of these things. 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) declares, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” We are children of God’s light, and it is our responsibility to keep our eyes focused on Him so we can see what He is doing in our lives.

    Many of us are too focused on ourselves to be focused on God, and that’s a huge problem. It’s not about you. This is the simple truth. It is always and forever about Jesus Christ and how you live in, with, by, and through him. Colossians 3:3(NLT) tells us, “For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.” When you gave your life to Christ, your life became hidden with him in God. The reality of this is that when anyone sees you, they shouldn’t see the old you, they should see Christ.

    1Corinthians 6:12-13(NLT) says, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. 13 You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies.” There is no joy to be had in sinfulness. There is only pain, and that isn’t what our Heavenly Father wants for us. He tells us in Galatians 5:22-23 that the fruit of the Holy Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When we walk in the Spirit, he will produce these in us, and our lives will be pleasing to God.

    We must make up our minds that we will not be blinded by the enemy and separated from the blessings we desire most. The wrong choices and decisions can set us back, but the right choices and decision can set us up for all that our Heavenly Father has in store. In these last days, it is more important than ever to say “Yes” to God. We can’t simply say that we believe all things are possible through Him, we must show God that we are growing in faith by being humble to His voice and directions, because this is His Will. Don’t be like those that have been on this Christian journey for years but have believed so little in His power. Focus your energy on God through the Lord Jesus Christ, not on what you want, because it’s not about you. It’s about what God wants for your life. Miraculous things will happen when you surrender to that truth.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “It’s Not About You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • More Precious Than Jewels

    More Precious Than Jewels

    Proverbs 19:14(ESV)
    “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

    In Old Testament times, wealth and possessions went from father to son. A daughter was not allowed to inherit her father’s wealth, so she did not receive an inheritance, only a dowry that she could bring into her new marriage. An inheritance meant a great deal to sons and gave them confidence that they could begin their own families with some degree of stable footing. Leaving an inheritance was the best that a biological father could do, but receiving it is no guarantee for a fulfilling and happy life with a wife. Proverbs 19:14 tells us that only God can give a man a wise, understanding, and sensible wife. For women, this is information we can’t afford to miss.

    God is the One that causes the paths of two individuals to cross. He is the One who knows exactly what it will take to bless our lives. Although many of us think we know everything about who the right person is for us, we do not. In Jeremiah 17:10(NLT), Heavenly Father tells us, “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” When the disciples were praying about a replacement for Judas, Acts 1:24(NLT) says, “Then they all prayed, “O Lord, you know every heart. Show us which of these men you have chosen.” They understood that they could not make a decision with their own sense knowledge. They surrendered to God’s Will and needed to hear from Him because He, and He alone, knows the secret motives of every heart. We would do well to remember this so that we will seek God only when it comes to marrying the right one for our lives.

    A prudent wife

    A prudent wife is going to know what to do when the man or the children are ill. She’s perceptive, so she knows and recognizes signs when someone isn’t feeling well and needs medical attention. A prudent wife is not selfish because she knows that selfishness and bitterness ruin relationships. Giving and pouring into her family is always on her mind, and she always puts God first. A prudent wife prays all the time, and she recognizes that a persistent and quality prayer life keeps her relationship with God tight, and therefore, keeps her life blessed and in balance. She walks by the Spirit, and never gets ahead of his counsel. This is what makes her special.

    A prudent woman understands that in order to be a prudent wife, she must divorce her single life and not try to hang on to her single days. This is a challenge for many modern women. We’re in love with our closet space, and never thought of making room for two as a sign that our faith and actions are working together. We never thought of learning to cook as a way of showing God we’re willing to make sacrifices for the good of our future marital union, so that if hubby can’t cook, at least we can make a banging omelet. As a prudent woman seeking marriage, you can’t just pray about what you desire, you’ve got to be thinking about what your husband might desire as well. Your life has to prove you’re confident that God will deliver on His promises. Your faith, actions, and confessions must all be on the same page.

    An excellent wife
    Proverbs 31:10(ESV) says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” At one time, the self esteem of a lot of women tanked because of baked-in societal norms of inequities and mistreatment. To compensate, there’s now an over exaggeration of a woman’s value and worth in some arenas. Society pushes for selfish indulgences, and there’s all this talk about queenship. A woman cannot make herself a queen, and this is something we would do well to learn very quickly. Only God can give us a crown, and He does not do that lightly.

    We can’t have an over exaggerated sense of self-worth, because that will lead us to arrogance, and arrogance will kill any blessing that we’re hoping to receive. Many of us expect the man to automatically assume we’re a queen and treat us that way, when there’s not enough of the love of Christ in our hearts to make us royalty. It’s God who assigns worth and judges us faithful according to the standard He alone has set. An excellent wife knows this.

    Many of us haven’t prayed to God to teach us to be an excellent wife. We’ve not prayed to be accelerated in spiritual preparation so that we can marry soon. We haven’t developed the maturity to hear what the Lord is saying, fix what He says to fix and hone what He says to hone, so that we’re ready to be presented with the man He sends. An excellent wife has delighted in being prepared by God through His Word and the Holy Spirit. She has her eyes open spiritually, and this makes her priceless.

    Sometimes we make decisions and choices without being patient to hear from God. We still have more work to do to be the prudent and excellent wife that God wants us to be. The problem is that many of us don’t think so. We’re not interested in hearing what God says on the matter, so ultimately, we self-sabotage. We can avoid this. We don’t have to mess things up for ourselves when it comes to our significant relationship with the one God will send. He would not tell us to be prudent and excellent if it were not possible. Remember, you’re not trying to be a prudent and excellent wife for every man, only for the one that is right for you. Pray on that. Pray that the Lord continues to polish you so that you’re seen as the most precious jewel in the eyes of your beloved. Pray that you will be a prudent and excellent wife that comes from the Lord.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “More Precious Than Jewels”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Let Your Love for God Be Genuine

    Let Your Love for God Be Genuine

    After reminiscing one day about a past relationship with one of my sisters in Christ, she phoned me with a question. “Kim, you said something the other day that I don’t quite understand. You said that I should never give a man that I’m dating husband privileges.” She told me that this was the way she had always approached relationships, and it is what she’s seen from other women as well. We’re living in a completely different day and time. Choosing the wrong man can literally destroy your life because the wrong man is sent to put a wedge between you and our relationship with Heavenly Father. So, I conveyed to her the wisdom of Ephesians 5:25(NKJV), “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” Only a man sent by God can love a woman that way, so if God hasn’t given us the greenlight that the man we’re dealing with is the one that He sent, we need to press the pause button.

    Keep your heart

    Proverbs 4:23(NKJV) tells us to, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Whether we know it or not, our hearts belong to God. In truth, all that we are belongs to Him. In Proverbs 4:23, He is teaching us to be good stewards of our hearts, because our hearts determine the issues of life. Our Heavenly Father is not going to throw out all the bad stuff in our hearts, He tells us to do this. He’s given us free-will to make our own choices and decisions, and the very best thing we can do for ourselves is to do some housekeeping when it comes to our own hearts.

    We are the keepers of our own hearts. God warns us to steward them well. This means we must do our due diligence in making sure our hearts are filled with God’s love, because that is what’s most important to Him. A heart that pleases God is one where our love for Him is above our love for all others and everything else. He deserves this place of honor and much more because He is our Creator, and He gave His only begotten Son to rescue us from sin and darkness.

    In 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), God said to His prophet, Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” No human being can know what is in another’s heart, but God knows all our hearts. He knows who and what we value most because He can investigate our hearts and see this. He also knows that our actions will follow what we value. We get up every morning and go to work because we value the paycheck and believe it improves the quality of our lives. We read and study God’s Word because we value the knowledge it gives us. We pray to God because we value God’s love and power and believe in His willingness to help us. Everything we do in life reflects what we value in our hearts, and to please God and keep them according to His standard, we must make sure our hearts are filled with His love.

    The treasure in your heart

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:20-21(NLT), “20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” This passage prompts us to examine what we are treasuring in our hearts. Some of us want to have a man so badly that we are willing to do just about anything to keep him. We assume this mindset because we have placed a high value on having a man. So, when God looks at our hearts, that’s what He sees. He sees that we are willing to disobey Him and obey the evil one who tempts us to sin through the man. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:19 that if our treasure is laid up in keeping the man through sin, the thief, who is the devil, will break that relationship and steal the joy of it away from us.

    2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” God is looking for hearts that are fully committed to Him. We don’t have to be perfect, but our love for God must be untainted. Some might call you old fashioned for taking a Godly approach, but we should never allow the words of others to hinder us from standing on God’s Word.

    The Lord knows our needs and desires. He knows us better than we could ever know ourselves, and He knows when and how to bless us. This includes the blessing of a man that He sends to walk with us through life. Understand that God is looking at your heart. Please be sure your love for Him is genuine, because it’s not enough to say that it is. Your love for Him will be put to the test, and you must have the patience and endurance to always choose to love God with all that you are, and you must love Him more than you love anyone else. When you do, your commitment to Him will be rewarded, and you will love the right man with the same commitment, loyalty, patience and grace that he has for you.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Let Your Love for God Be Genuine”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.