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Tag: Growing in Christ

Please Help Me Remain Obedient to Your Will

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for loving me and for always wanting what is best for me. Thank You for Your Word that gives me wisdom, and for the Holy Spirit who lives inside me and helps me when I don’t know what to do. Thank You for the people You place in my life who love me enough to tell me the truth and remind me of what Your Word says. You have been so faithful to me, Father. When I look back over my life, I can see so many times when Your way was better than mine. You knew what I needed, You knew what I didn’t need, and You were looking out for me even when I didn’t understand what You were doing.

Please forgive me for the times I’ve known what was right and still struggled to do it. Forgive me for allowing my feelings to become stronger than my good judgment, and for the times I’ve wanted something so badly that I tried to reason around what I knew in my heart. Sometimes I can get ahead of You. Sometimes I don’t want to wait. And sometimes, Father, I simply want what I want. Please forgive me for those times when I’ve allowed a person, a relationship, or something I desire to take up more room in my heart than it should. I never want anyone or anything to have the place that belongs to You. Your Word tells me to seek You first, and I want my life and my choices to show that I really believe this.

Father, please help me remain obedient to Your Will. Give me wisdom about the decisions and choices I make, especially when my emotions are involved. Help me not to overlook what You are trying to show me because I like someone or because I’m afraid of losing something I want. If something isn’t right for me, give me the courage to accept it. If I need to wait, help me wait. If I need to walk away, help me walk away. And when You bless me with something good, help me enjoy it without ever making the blessing more important than the One who gave it. I want to be loving and kind to the people in my life, but I want to do it according to Your loving standards and not my own. Holy Spirit, please keep me sensitive to Your voice and strong enough to follow Your leading.

Lord Jesus, please help me follow Your example. You are the way, the truth, and the life, and I know I will never go wrong putting You first. I don’t know everything that is ahead of me, but You do, and that is why I can trust You. Help me become the kind of woman who doesn’t just know Your Word, but obeys it—even when obedience is hard, even when my feelings are pulling me in another direction, and even when I don’t understand why You are asking something of me. I want to trust that Your wisdom is greater than mine and that Your Will for my life is good.

Thank You, Holy and Glorious Heavenly Father, for being patient with me while I grow. Thank You for correcting me, protecting me, and never leaving me to figure life out on my own. Thank You for every blessing You have given me and even for the things You have kept away from me that I may never know about. All blessings flow from You, and I want my life to please You. Please continue to help me walk in wisdom, remain obedient to Your Word, and trust You with every part of my life. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Please Help Me Remain Obedient to Your Will”, written for FindChristianMan.com©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

September 2, 2026
Happy in the Lord

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for loving me exactly as You created me. Thank You for giving me life, for knowing everything about me, and for still calling me Your own. Most of all, thank You for giving me Jesus Christ. You gave me Your very best when You gave Your Son, and because of Him, my life has meaning, purpose, hope, and a future. Thank You for the Holy Spirit who lives inside me and reminds me that I am never alone. Father, when I stop and think about all You have given me and all You have done for me, I have so many reasons to be grateful. You have been better to me than I could ever deserve.

Please forgive me for the times I’ve looked to other people to make me happy or make me feel good about myself. Forgive me for looking in the mirror and finding fault with what You created. There are times when I compare myself to other women, focus too much on what I don’t have, or allow being single to make me feel as though something is missing from my life. And sometimes, if I’m honest, I want someone to come along and make those feelings go away. Father, forgive me for expecting another person to do what only You can do. No man should have the responsibility of making me whole, making me feel worthy, or convincing me that I am enough. You have already told me who I am, and I want to believe You.

Please help me find my happiness and contentment in You. Your Word says that I am Your masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus, and I want to see myself the way You see me. Help me take care of myself, appreciate the woman You’ve made me, and stop tearing myself down in my own thoughts. At the same time, keep me humble. I don’t want confidence that comes from thinking I’m better than someone else. I want the kind of confidence that comes from knowing Jesus Christ and knowing that I belong to You. Help me love myself with a Christ-kind of love, and let that same love overflow into the way I treat other people.

Father, I don’t want to enter a relationship looking for a man to fill an empty place in me. I don’t want loneliness, insecurity, or the need to be wanted making decisions for me. Please make me wise enough to recognize when those feelings are trying to lead me. Help me seek You first, just as Jesus teaches me in Matthew 6:33. I want any relationship You bring into my life to be something I can receive from a place of strength in You—not something I grab hold of because I’m afraid of being alone. Put Christ in the driver’s seat of my life. Help me trust Your timing, Your wisdom, and Your plans for me, and teach me how to enjoy the life You’ve given me right now.

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for reminding me that my joy doesn’t have to wait for something else to happen. Thank You that I can laugh, live, grow, love, dream, and enjoy my life because You are with me. Thank You for every blessing I have today and for every blessing that is still to come. I don’t know everything You have planned for my future, but I know the One who holds it, and that gives my heart peace. Let me find my happiness in You, Lord, so that my joy may be full. Thank You for my Blessed Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, and thank You for the precious gift of the Holy Spirit. In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Happy in the Lord”, written for FindChristianMan.com©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

September 1, 2026
What Does It Mean to Follow Jesus?

Receiving Jesus Christ is the beginning of a new life with Him. But what happens after we receive Him?

This is where our walk with Jesus really begins. Jesus didn’t call us simply to believe in Him and then go right back to living life the way we always have. He called us to follow Him. In Matthew 16:24 (NLT), Jesus said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.”

Now, let’s slow down and think about what Jesus was saying.

When we decide to follow Jesus, we are making a decision to no longer make ourselves the center of our lives. We have to be willing to give up our own way when our way doesn’t agree with God’s way. That’s not always easy.

There will be times when what we want is different from what God wants. There will be times when our feelings tell us one thing, our desires tell us another, and God’s Word tells us something completely different. Following Jesus means learning to say, “Lord, I want Your way more than I want my way.”

That doesn’t mean we become perfect overnight. It doesn’t mean we never question, struggle, get frustrated, or make mistakes. We are learning. We are growing. We are being changed.

But here’s the beautiful thing: our direction begins to change.

Instead of asking only, “What do I want?” we begin asking, “What does God want?” Instead of automatically doing what feels right to us, we begin learning to seek God’s wisdom. Instead of allowing our feelings, desires, past experiences, or the culture around us to determine how we live, we begin allowing God’s Word to shape our choices.

That’s what it means to follow Jesus.

Jesus becomes more than someone we believe in. He becomes the One we are learning to build our lives around—the One we trust, obey, and follow in every part of our lives.

And here’s something important: following Jesus is a journey.

We don’t wake up one morning and suddenly have everything figured out. We learn to follow Him one step at a time. Sometimes we take a step forward. Sometimes we stumble. Sometimes we realize we’ve been trying to lead instead of follow, and we have to turn ourselves back toward Him. But we keep following.

Because following Jesus isn’t about becoming perfect before we can belong to Him. It’s about belonging to Him and allowing Him to teach us how to live.

Following Jesus Means Learning His Way

Before we came to Christ, we were accustomed to making our own decisions about how we wanted to live. We had our own ideas about what was right, what was wrong, what would make us happy, and what we wanted for our lives. Following Jesus means we begin allowing His Word to teach us a different way. There will be times when what Jesus teaches agrees with what we already think, and there will be times when it doesn’t. That’s where following Him becomes real.

Following Him means we don’t change His Word to agree with us. We allow His Word to change us.

Jesus said in John 14:15 (NLT), “If you love me, obey my commandments.”

Obedience isn’t how we earn Jesus’ love, and it isn’t how we earn salvation. Jesus doesn’t love us because we obey Him. We obey Him because we belong to Him and love Him.

As we follow Jesus, we begin learning to trust that His way is better than ours—even when we don’t understand it, and even when His way isn’t the way we would have chosen.

Sometimes obedience will be easy. There will be things God asks us to do that make perfect sense to us. But other times, obedience will stretch us.

It may mean letting go of something we really want.

It may mean forgiving someone we would rather stay angry with.

It may mean changing a behavior we’ve become comfortable with.

It may mean walking away from something we know isn’t good for us.

It may mean saying no to ourselves when everything in us wants to say yes.

And sometimes, it may simply mean trusting God when we don’t understand what He is doing.

That’s part of following Jesus. We don’t obey only when His instructions make sense to us or when they fit what we already want to do. We are learning to trust the One who knows more than we do.

Obedience is one of the ways our trust in Jesus becomes visible in the way we live.

Following Jesus Means Staying Close to Him

We cannot follow Jesus well while rarely spending time with Him. Jesus used a simple picture to help His disciples understand this. In John 15:5 (NLT), He said, “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” A branch cannot produce anything if it is disconnected from the vine. In the same way, we need Jesus every day.

We stay close to Him by spending time in God’s Word, praying, listening for the Holy Spirit’s guidance, worshiping God, and learning to recognize His voice through Scripture. These things aren’t religious chores we check off a list so God will be pleased with us. They help us know Him better. As we spend time with Jesus, we begin to understand His heart, recognize what pleases Him, and notice areas of our lives that need to change.

Following Jesus Means Allowing Him to Change Us

Becoming a Christian doesn’t mean everything about us changes overnight. We bring years of habits, attitudes, fears, wounds, wrong thinking, selfishness, and ways of responding to life with us.

Some things God may change quickly. Other things He will work on in us over time.

Philippians 2:13 (NLT) says, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

I love that this verse reminds us that God is working in us. We don’t have to change ourselves by our own strength. As we follow Jesus, He works in us, showing us what needs to change and giving us the desire and the strength to do what pleases Him.

That’s why we shouldn’t become discouraged when our Heavenly Father begins showing us things about ourselves that need to change.

Sometimes we may think, “Lord, I thought I was further along than this.”

But seeing those things doesn’t necessarily mean we’re failing at following Jesus. Sometimes it means we’re finally close enough to Him to recognize what doesn’t look like Him.

That’s growth.

When God shows us something that needs to change, we don’t need to hide it, make excuses for it, or beat ourselves up over it. We bring it to God. We ask Him to help us. We obey what He shows us, and we keep growing.

There may be things God has already changed in you that you don’t struggle with anymore. And there may be other things He is still working on.

That’s okay. Keep following.

Following Jesus is not about pretending we have everything together. It is about allowing Him to keep working in us, one area at a time, until our lives begin to look more and more like the One we are following.

Following Jesus Is a Daily Decision

There will be days when following Jesus feels wonderful and days when it costs us something. There will be prayers that are answered the way we hoped and others that aren’t. There will be seasons when we understand what God is doing and seasons when we don’t. Following Jesus means we continue trusting Him through all of it—not because life always turns out the way we want, but because we have learned that He is worthy of our trust.

Jesus didn’t promise that following Him would always be easy. He promised something much better: He would be with us. We don’t have to figure out this new life by ourselves. The Holy Spirit helps us, God’s Word teaches us, and Jesus continues leading us as we learn to walk with Him.

Receiving Jesus is where the relationship begins. Following Him is how we learn to live that relationship every day. We will stumble. We will still need forgiveness. We will have much to learn. But we keep coming back to Him, keep listening, keep obeying, and keep allowing Him to change us. That is what it means to follow Jesus Christ.

Continue Learning About Jesus Christ

What Did Jesus Accomplish? | What Does It Mean to Receive Jesus Christ? | What Does It Mean to Follow Jesus?

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“What Does It Mean to Follow Jesus?”, written by Sokie for https://findchristianman.com Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

August 31, 2026
When Love Turns Sour

One of the lessons that we quickly learn as adults is that relationships require work, and sometimes lots of it. Most of us conclude that we grossly underestimated just how much work it takes to make a relationship last. When we’re dating, we might find ourselves being the one that makes an ample investment into the man’s life, and sometimes that investment isn’t equally reciprocated. Thinking about walking away is very challenging, but we must be clear that mishandling things at this vulnerable juncture is never wise. The love we had for this man can sour and turn to bitterness. When that happens, our own fellowship with God is in jeopardy. We lose the heart and authority to be an effective witness of Christ in the life of someone that we could have influenced and impacted profoundly for God’s Kingdom. This is dangerous, and we really need to think things through.

In Luke 17:1-4(NLT), Jesus Christ taught the disciples, “1There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! 2 It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin. 3 So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

In this passage, “one of these little ones” is a person that God has predestined as one of His own. Some believe that he is referring to young children only, but Jesus is referring to all God’s children, especially those that are just getting started in the Word and learning the Way. All of us are offended at some point, this is true, but Jesus warns that woe is the fate of someone that causes spiritual infants to become so offended in the faith that they fall into sin.

Many of us claim to have our eyes so steadfastly fixed upon the Master, but when a man comes into our lives, some of us forget who we are. Meeting someone new and having a relationship with him is not a time to let our stand on the solid rock to slip, especially when we’re not clear about what we’re working with while dating. Our eyes must be fixed upon Jesus Christ no matter who is in our lives or what our agendas may be. God commands us in 1Corinthians 16:13(NKJV) to “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.” We can never let our guards down in a relationship. The love of Christ should be our first priority, and it must be the lasting witness we leave on anyone we meet.

James 1:22(NLT) tells us, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” We can be sure of one thing; the love of God in Christ never sours. If we’re unsure about that truth, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re obligated by Christ to love others with his brand of love, not our own. 1Corinthians 13:4 tells us that his love—real, true, authentic love—is forgiving, kind, keeps no record of being wronged and doesn’t demand its own way. If this isn’t the love we’re prepared to give to the man we desire, it isn’t the love we should expect to receive.

It’s entirely possible that “One of these little ones” is the person we’re dating, and if we place our agenda ahead of God’s agenda for their lives, we’re not behaving like doers of the Word but deceiving ourselves. It’s our responsibility as believers to guard our hearts so that we don’t get out of pocket and change the trajectory of a man’s relationship with God. We must pray for this not to happen so that we are the kind of witnesses God is pleased with.

Ephesians 6:11(NKJV) tells us, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” It would be naïve of us to think that the enemy will not try to make our hearts, or the hearts of our boyfriends, sour in our relationships. We should know that this is his target, and if we allow him to win in one relationship, we will most likely do it in others. God offers us a better way and it is to put on the whole armor that He provides. We must be diligent to renew our minds and put on the mind of Christ, so that if our hearts grow sour in any relationship we are blessed to cultivate, we will turn them to the sweetness of Christ through forgiveness, patience, and a desire to always put God first. ■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When Love Turns Sour”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2026. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 23, 2026
Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There

Jesus Christ has shown us that love requires sacrifice. He left his Father’s throne of immeasurable glory and splendor to come to earth. He came on a mission from God to save humankind. Our King was born in a manger, and this demonstrates his incredible humility. At any moment during his time on earth, he could have summoned a legion of angels at his side. He said in Matthew 26:53(NIV), “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” 12 legions is 72,000 angels. They would have been by his side in less time than a blink of an eye, but he didn’t summon them. He knew that sacrificing his life was his mission and endured the cross because of his overwhelming love for every person. Jesus Christ revealed the perfect and pure love of God, who sacrificed His one and only begotten Son for us all.

Jesus Christ has shown us the way to live through God’s love. His example is the one we must follow because he’s given us the standard of love that pleases God. It’s God’s standard of love, and it causes us to live according to God’s purpose. As women of faith, sometimes we underestimate God’s allegiance to His standards, and we have a mindset of accepting less than what God wants to give us. This is especially true in our desire for a real and lasting significant relationship.

God commands in Ephesians 5:25(NLT), “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This is God’s standard for the way a man should love his wife. This level of devotion sets the kind of loyalty and respect that all men should have for all women. It also sets the bar for the expectation of any woman praying to be a wife. As a woman, you can’t build this kind of capacity in a man. He should have it when you meet him.

I have a friend that was very sick with the flu. She sounded as bad as she was feeling. It was apparent she was having a rough time with it, and I was surprised to hear that she was handling things on her own. She rekindled a relationship with a male friend that she dated a while ago. Things were going well for the last few months, but her bout with the flu brought out something that was apparent to everyone but her. When I asked, she told me that her boyfriend knew how ill she was, but he didn’t come by, not even once. She said to me, “He did offer to bring me some soup, but I didn’t want to be a burden, so I told him not to bother.”

There’s a fundamental truth that every woman must know; if you accept it, that is all you will get. Some of us expect that our love will make a man gain a greater capacity to love overnight. It simply isn’t true. Only the love of God can transform a person, and to love God is to do what He says. 1John 2:5(NLT) tells us, “But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him.” As women of faith, this must be the foundation of all that we do.

God expects us to expand in Christ with each passing day. This means that we are loving others greater through him. In other words, our capacity to love and walk with power increases as we grow in Christ. This is God’s standard, and it is one in which we will never have to make excuses for a man that isn’t loving us the way he should. If we make a place in our hearts for a man that isn’t giving us the love we deserve—the love we are capable and willing to give him, then we’re throwing out the welcome mat for heartache and pain. When it comes to real love, don’t accept a little dab here and a little dab there. Christ made a way for us to live through his love, and this is the way we should choose.

Fully knowing and appreciating the sacrifice of Christ gives us the lens by which we can love and be loved. Loving and living through Jesus Christ will give us the wisdom to know that a man may not have a fancy job title or big bank account; what matters is that he has a big heart and sees loving you as one of the greatest blessings of his life. God says you deserve this. You should believe it, and never accept less. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 11, 2023
The Lord Sees It Differently

1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

There are varying opinions with biblical scholars over whether Jesse had seven or eight sons, as one record in 1 Samuel 16 in the Old Testament mentions eight, and the other record in 1 Chronicles 2:13-15 mentions seven. It is entirely possible that one son passed away, but there is no contradiction in God’s Word; of this we must be sure. The record in 1Samuel 16 tells us that God sent Samuel, the prophet, to anoint David as the King of Israel. By all outward appearances, Jesse thought that any one of his older sons would be the one that Samuel might choose. They were taller, hardworking, and muscular looking men, but thank goodness God doesn’t look at us in the way that we look at each other. He looks at our hearts.

I can’t help but think of the many single women that are holding out for a man that fits their idea of how he should look. They have it down to complexion, height, build, and overall level of attractiveness. If a man shows up, and he looks significantly different than the image they’ve had in their minds, he’s relegated to the ‘not a possibility’ column with all due haste.

This can be a challenge to work through, because physical attraction is important in a marital relationship, but it’s not the principal thing. Some of us make it so. It boils down to a matter of priorities, and God has set those according to His plan for your life. He values your spiritual growth and the spiritual growth of your future spouse more than any other thing. And He tells us very straightforwardly in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” His desire is that we prioritize what He deems important at the top of our lists, because He always knows what is best for us. If we don’t line up our thoughts and convictions to give God the highest place of authority in our quest for marriage, we will keep ourselves separated from the blessing we desire.

Heavenly Father looks at the heart, because Proverbs 4:23 tells us that the issues of life spring forth from the heart. If our hearts are out of alignment with the Will of God for us, we run the risk of being dissatisfied with the outcomes of our choices and decisions. Heavenly Father deserves all the glory! He alone is worthy of our praise and worship. He never makes a mistake, and His delight is to bless His children. He never intended us to navigate life on our own. Walking and talking with Him, and receiving His divine leadership and guidance was always the kind of relationship He wanted with us. Yes, we may be adults and able to make decisions for ourselves, but God sees it differently. He sees us as children who need His help to live a successful life of faith. He is willing to help us cross paths with the person that is right for us, and He will help us with any other issues or desires. He will always steer us in the right direction, and we must put Him in His rightful place of honor as He guides us to higher blessings through our faith and obedience to His Word. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Lord Sees It Differently”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 17, 2023
Details of Your Destiny

Ecclesiastes 6:10-12(NLT) says, “10 Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny. 11 The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they? 12 In the few days of our meaningless lives, who knows how our days can best be spent? Our lives are like a shadow. Who can tell what will happen on this earth after we are gone?” This passage puts our destiny in Christ upfront, in full-view, and in wide-screen high definition. No matter how much we might try to alter it or bump up against it, our destiny is unmovable. God has etched it in stone, so to speak, and we have no other choice but to accept this. The truth of this passage also gives us the lens from which to view our future marriages. God would not leave such an important part of our lives to chance. The person that will walk with us through life is our destiny partner, and God has included the details of our union in His plan.

Personally, I must admit that in the past, I argued with God about the direction my life had taken, but even though I argued with Him, He did not argue with me. His Will is perfect, and I had to get on board with His plan for my life. There were many things that I didn’t understand, and to be quite frank, some things I still don’t understand. But that’s why He tells us in 2Corinthians 5:7 to walk by faith and not by sight. This means that we can’t lean on what we see with our physical eyes and make our life’s choices and decisions based on that. We must have total faith in Him and what He says in His Word, so that our choices and decisions are grounded in His truth.

God’s Word is the truth. His Word is reality. Things can seem and look to us to be very bleak, and sometimes our relationships with the significant person in our lives becomes very rocky. It can feel very much like a breakup is eminent. The person may even be interested in someone else, but faith dictates that we don’t re-act to what we see, nor should we act out or re-act according to the angst or anger we may feel.

Some of us have been single for a while and there appears to be absolutely no movement. You’ve prayed and waited and done all that you know to do. You’re ready to throw in the towel because you’re not seeing movement with your physical eyes. The truth is that you have no idea what the Father is doing. You can’t see all the things He is moving and shaking up behind the scenes. So many singles make the mistake of self-sabotage due to impatience or emotional instability, and they prolong their blessing.

King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 6:11(NLT) “The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they?” In other words, so often ‘people be talking just to be talking’. We say a lot of words, but they have no weight and don’t mean anything. God is letting us know that unless we speak what He speaks, we are not speaking life. And if we don’t speak life, it’s not going to produce the results we expect or want. We must get on board with our destinies and maximize our opportunities to move ourselves forward in God’s agenda. If you’re spending more time speaking negative than you are speaking the positives of God’s promises, you’re sabotaging your own efforts.

Scripture makes it all crystal clear to us, our destiny, whatever it may be, has already been decided. This is not to minimize our free will choice, but the emphasis is on the truth that whatever decision we make, it’s all about God’s plan and purpose for our lives. Romans 8:28(KJV) takes us to school and teaches us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” This verse does not mean that God structures His blessings and purpose around our decisions and choices. It means that He has designed the universe to work towards our good when we get on board with His Will.

If we want to know the details of our destiny, this is it. It is that we live according to His Will and Word so that we witness the blessings He has in store for us. Nothing good happens outside God’s Will. We can see this from the condition of the world today, but it is a totally different story indeed when we remain in His shelter. Psalm 91:1(NLT) declares, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” This is where we want to be.

King Solomon was the wisest person that ever lived, and his frustration is palpable in Ecclesiastes 6:10-12. He explored the many facets of life during his existence, looking under every rock for the meaning of life. He was looking for that “Ah Hah! Moment” and thought it could be found outside the boundaries of God’s sovereignty and magnificence. He wanted every detail of his destiny revealed so he could be definitive about his journey forward. Many of us are this way when it comes to our destiny partners. We want all the details, but like Solomon, we will find that reality is faith in God. Destiny is the moment by moment decisions we make to strengthen our relationship with Him through Christ. So, whatever your situation might be, whether you are patiently waiting for marriage or praying for the restoration of one, stay close to God. Have faith in Him! Seek Him through prayer and continual dialogue. Instead of doing what you want, get committed to doing what He wants, and the details of your destiny will beautifully unfold.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Details of Your Destiny”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 19, 2023
Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements

Life will give you what you give it. This is the lesson many mature believing women have learned throughout their spiritual journeys in Christ. Our Lord and Master tells us in Luke 6:38(NLT), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” He is teaching a very important and immutable law regarding the way in which Heavenly Father has setup the universe to operate. It is a law that works for the positive actions, energy, attitude, and deeds we put out there, and the negative as well. This Law of Giving and Receiving will never fail. It cannot be broken or altered. If we take a sinful or negative thought and allow it to manifest into a sinful action, it is going to have an impact on our lives, and we will not like it. Even those who do not know Jesus Christ in the pardon of their sins understand this law.

The Law of Giving and Receiving is packed with God’s unparalleled intelligence, grace, power, and goodness. It’s a law that forces us to humble ourselves, because we can’t come before God with excuses about our level of giving. We can’t convince Him that we’ve been amazingly Godly in our actions and deeds when we haven’t. Proverbs 24:12(NLT) cuts it down like this, “Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.”

The old nature is the nature we had before we came to Christ. It’s a nature that God calls His enemy, because it goes against His Word. It is a nature consumed with selfishness, pride, indulgence, revenge, pettiness, and all manner of darkness. Rebellion is the oil in the old nature’s engine, and many of us still have it in our hearts and minds. We don’t want to be disciplined or to do what God says if it interferes with what we like and want. And we convince ourselves that we are justified in our actions. Some think God’s forgiveness means that we can continue doing wrong and He’ll give us a pass, that there won’t be a price to pay for not lining up with His Word. Even an unlearned parent teaches their children that although bad behavior is forgiven, it has a cost. Heavenly Father has set up the entire universe to be friendly to those that obey Him, so we can avoid the consequence of wrong action through obedience to God’s Word.

A woman said to me once, “God knows my heart, He knows that I have needs and if I ask Him to forgive me, He will.” How many women have thought this to themselves? Tons, I bet. As believers, we can’t presume to tell God we have needs and then not have faith in Him to take care of them. And we certainly can’t call sin a need. He tells us in His Word that He is our Provider and Protector. Philippians 4:19(NLT), states “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” God is our Source, Sufficiency, and Supplier. So, if we go off on our own, and decide we’re going to take care of our own needs, what does this say about our faith in God? For many, therein lies the issue. They are not really trusting Heavenly Father for all things.

We must come to grips with the truth, because if we’re believing a lie, that’s not going to give us a foundation for marriage and the kind of life we want. As women of God, we feel pressure to try and balance our needs and the man’s needs, and still be Godly. We can’t start from that position because it isn’t a winning one. Jesus Christ tells us to seek GOD first. He must always be first with us. So, we must start our significant relationships, or any other thing we attempt to do, by putting God’s requirements in the top spot, and then everything else will fall in line.

We are not robots, and yes, we have needs, but God is our Creator. Sometimes what we think is a need is a temptation from the devil. We’ve given in to it so many times that now we have developed a pattern of listening to our flesh rather than listening to and honoring God. None of us have what it takes to balance our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs. Only God can do this. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

Our responsibility is to let God be at work by being committed to do what He says in His Word. Most of us have done things our way and indulged ourselves whenever we have had opportunity. We have been rebellious in certain areas of our lives for a long while now. It’s time to make a change. Our actions and intentions should be focused on building and strengthening our relationship with the Lord. We need to be conscious about what we’re doing and only put things out there that please Heavenly Father. When this is our main intention and motivation, we will receive the bounty and abundance that are tied to living and loving through Jesus Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 9, 2023
God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man

Genesis 2:18(NLT)
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.””

This verse in Genesis 2:18 is incredibly easy to understand, but as with many verses like it, we have the privilege of taking it apart to digest all its yumminess. As women of God that are praying to marry, we can’t afford to let the impact of what God has revealed to slip by us. God created Adam first, and this was not a coincidence or a random occurrence. God does everything with a purpose, and certainly the first human being that He created was prolific, deliberate, and specifically ordained for God’s sovereign Will and Plan. From this, you and I must conclude that Eve’s purpose, while very important to God, was not the same as Adam’s. There was no mistake or mishap in God’s planning. Eve was made to be a helper who was just right for Adam, but we’ve gotten so twisted around by the world’s agenda that we’re rejecting the truth, and many of us are in jeopardy of missing out on God’s blessing.

A helper, as the word is used in Genesis 2:18, is translated as ‘one who helps’. This is a very beautiful distinction, because it is the same position and designation that our Heavenly Father assumes towards us. He helps us, and it is because we desperately need His help. The psalmist said about Heavenly Father in Psalm 121:1 (NKJV), “I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help?” In Hosea 13:9(NKJV), God said to His people, “O Israel, you are destroyed, But your help is from Me.” In Deuteronomy 33:26(NLT), Moses said about our Creator, “There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor.” Oh, how blessed we should be and feel as women to have been chosen for a such a distinction as this, to be a “help meet”, a helper to God’s man.

Instead of understanding this extreme honor and appreciating the privilege that God intended, we have turned ‘helper’ into almost a bad word. And because many of us have overlooked God’s brilliance, intention, and plan for this role, we have failed to produce the faith necessary to carry it out. We place a great deal of emphasis on God giving us a man that is just right for us, instead of recognizing that we have been given the designation to be just right for the man. It’s a flip in the script that cannot be missed.

God is a God of order. He doesn’t miss a beat. In Ephesians 2:10(NLT), Heavenly Father tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Both the man and the woman are God’s masterpieces. He made the woman a helper, and it can be nothing other than glorious, for everything the Father does is glorious. He planned good things for us to do, and helping the man is a huge part of God’s plan. We simply cannot afford to misconstrue any part of God’s masterful intention here.

Looking for a wife is not a man’s first order of business. The first responsibility for the man is to solidify and strengthen his relationship with God. It is to establish intimacy with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. As women, we are so consumed and concerned with what the man is or isn’t, that we’re not even bothered about what kind of relationship he has with God. We just want him to be right for us and check off all the boxes on our lists. As long as he’ll go along with our program, whether he prays or not is the furthest thing from many of our minds. It’s a real surprise for some women to discover that this attitude and mindset will work against you rather than for you.

God’s intention is that the man fulfills his purpose. Helping him do so is a part of our purpose as ambassadors for Christ and daughters of the Most High God. It’s an extremely humbling thing to recognize that the quest to be a wife can’t revolve around us and what we want, but it must be submitted to God and what He wants. What God wants is always and forever the best for all concerned.

We are so busy with talking about what cheaters men are. You hear it all time, women saying that they’re no good ones left, and that women are doomed to be single all their lives. This is the mindset of someone that doesn’t know God’s agenda for the woman and isn’t prepared to submit to it. We’re not going to draw ourselves closer to God’s blessing by standing in opposition to it. That will never work. God’s man is a treasure, and he can be all that God desires him to be. Yes, many of them fall short, but so do we. You must have a totally different attitude and mindset about men, and change the way you speak about them, because if you can’t speak about the blessing the way God ordained it, you won’t see it and you can’t have it.

If you are a Christian woman, and you love the Lord, you know that the God you serve is a Rewarder to those who diligently seek Him. When we are serious about being all that God has called us to be, we don’t rely on our own assumptions about our preparedness. The ministry of a wife is service to God. We reverence the husband because of our reverence to God through Jesus Christ. If we are not sure in any respect that we are prepared to serve in the ministry of a spouse and to devote ourselves completely to it, we should be asking God what we need to do to get prepared. Our hearts should be to please Him as we seek to be the wife He desires us to be. If we humble ourselves before God, with an attitude that is flexible when it comes to changing some of our habits and thoughts, we will see things we’ve never seen before. We’ll view the ministry of a wife that God has placed in our hands with greater appreciation and responsibility, and we’ll assume it with the grace and dedication to service that God requires.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 30, 2023
Listen, Learn, and Love

“31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. 32 If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”
Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT)

People say I have a way of making others feel comfortable, and it’s easy to talk to me. As thankful as I am to hear this, I have to admit that it hasn’t always been the case. Some people are not fans of open communication. Not only do they not like talking about themselves, talking about their feelings makes them very uncomfortable as well. I’m not one of those people. Our Heavenly Father has given us this gift called ‘personality’, and each of us has one. We are all different and have unique qualities. As the Father would have it, I’ve always had the gift of gab, and the fact that I’m curious about many subjects didn’t hurt. When I was younger, I felt I had a lot to say. So, I can talk your ear off, but listening attentively was another story. Listening is a skill that it takes time to learn for many of us, and it is a practice that is absolutely necessary to maintaining a good relationship.

As I have matured in God’s Word, I have learned that being a good listener is just as important as being a good communicator. Some would even say that it is even more important to listen than it is to speak. To listen is to take in what has been spoken or conveyed, and to do so in a way that the information is evaluated, valued or used. It goes without saying that we listen to people we value. If they don’t feel we’re hearing them, they may not feel as though we value them or their opinions. It should be no surprise to us that people can be very offended when we don’t give them the courtesy of being heard. So, not only is listening very important to honoring and respecting our relationship with God, it is also crucial to fostering all our other relationships as well.

The wisdom of Proverbs 20:12(NLT) says, “Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD.” This is a very plain and straightforward truth, so much so that its impact may slip by you if you’re not careful. Nothing about the way God created human beings is random. He’s given us ears to hear and eyes to see so that we can perceive and digest internally information we receive externally. He could have placed all the information we’d ever need in our minds from the very beginning. He could have designed us in such a way that we wouldn’t need to hear or see anything, but we are made in God’s image. He sees and He hears, and so do we.

God has created us to be creatures of faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It is our choice whether we will listen to God’s Word or listen to the lies that come from the world. We decide what is important to us, and to a great degree we decide what we will hear and learn. Our choices about how and what we will listen to inform everything around us of our identity. If I’m a person that is interested in the truth, I will listen to what God says in His Word. If I’m a person that isn’t interested in the truth, I will not listen to God, but instead will give more attention to other sources of information. A person’s choice to listen to God affirms their identity as His child, for Jesus Christ said in John 10:27(NLT), “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

We can see that God has been masterfully strategic in giving us eyes and ears, and we must be masterfully strategic in using His gifts to bring glory and honor back to Him. In Matthew 11:15 and 13:9(NLT), as Jesus Christ taught God’s Word, he would say, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand! In this simple verse, he is commanding us not just to listen but to learn. Jesus Christ is pointing to the reality that you and I have a choice. It is our privilege and responsibility to both listen and to understand God’s Word.

The Holy Spirit that indwells us is our teacher. As we hear, read, and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit works within us internally, causing our understanding to come together in such a way that we comprehend the Word. Hebrews 10:14-16(NLT)tells us, “For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, “This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”” Through the Spirit, the Word is already written on our hearts, and as we read, study, and listen to it, the Holy Spirit affirms the testimony of God’s truth from within. When the Holy Spirit testifies with our spirit, truth becomes a part of us, and our faith is strengthened. We desperately need this to happen.

The importance of knowing the Holy Spirit as our Teacher, Guide, and Comforter is the most important aspect of living a successful life as a believer in Christ. It is critical to moving forward in our quest for marriage. Many single women have expected God to guide them to meet the man that they will marry, but they have had little to no interest in being guided by God’s Spirit to learn God’s Word. 2Timothy 2:15(NLT) commands us, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.” How can we expect to receive God’s approval for partnering without first committing ourselves to 2Timothy 2:15?

To listen to and learn God’s Word is required in order to love the way He desires us to love. Marriage is the reward for doing what God says, but many of us have looked upon it as an entitlement. We must develop the habit pattern of listening and learning through the Holy Spirit so that he can guide us through God’s Word. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will tell us the Word, he will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ. We can’t have successful marriages and relationships without hearing from the Lord. We need to become masterful listeners, hearing God’s truth first, then we will be able to apply sensitive and attentive hearing as thoughtful spouses who are led by the truth.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Listen, Learn, and Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 23, 2023