Finding A Christian Man

When He Makes You His Wife

April 1, 2024

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

Genesis 2:23(NLT)
“At last!” the man exclaimed.” This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called woman because she was taken from man.”

Adam was incredibly thankful to God for bringing him Eve. He was excited because he was given a companion that would bless his life. Adam wasn’t intellectually impaired in any way, quite the opposite. He was brilliant because he spent every waking moment with God. Once he laid eyes on Eve, he understood the gift he had received. Someone like him was now a part of his life, and in Adam’s mind and heart, this was something worth celebrating.

The connection between Adam and Eve was undeniable. He was very much aware that God had taken a rib from his body and from it made Eve, his wife. Adam understood the math, that from one, two were made to function as one. Two would walk together in unity as they lived God’s purpose. This is God’s masterful plan.

Adam was the first man, and he was created before Eve. God doesn’t make mistakes, and knowledge regarding everything that He does is purposeful for our journey in life. It should not be lost on us that God presented Eve to Adam, and that God intended her to help Adam fulfill the tasks he had been assigned. These are very simple lessons about marital partnership. God made them that way so that everyone could grasp His intended Will, plan and purpose.

Sadly, we have turned what God made simple into multifaceted complications, and this has done a number on the way we perceive marriage. Because we haven’t followed God’s marriage plan, the devil has wedged his way into the equation. By getting us to focus on the flesh, satan has managed to mess with our minds to such a degree that we’ve made sexual pleasure more important than God’s purpose. We’ve lost God’s priority in the matter, and this has so greatly diminished our reverence for God’s institution of marriage, that we think dating someone is a satisfactory replacement.

The reason that God’s Word, the Bible, doesn’t cover the subject of dating is because He intended a man to esteem a woman’s honor so highly that he would not do anything to contradict it. Dating, in the modern sense, throws this out of the window in many cases. God demonstrated for us in Genesis 1-2 that He had given Adam tremendous authority in the earth. He then lost it, but through Jesus Christ, this authority was restored. Like Adam, the authority of Christ that is given to a husband is solely to be exercised through a man’s dedication and devotion to God. Men are to be responsible to God to do as God pleases. It is no less for a woman, but the responsibility to be a Godly husband came to Adam first. 1Corinthians 11:3 (ESV) states, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” This is the hierarchy God has etched in stone, and it cannot be altered or changed by anyone but Him.

The love language between a man and a woman begins with the love of Christ. The man is responsible to Christ for honoring and loving his wife. Ephesians 5:25(NLT) says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This not only conveys the depth of love that Christ has for the church, but it conveys God’s love for husbands and wives. He set the bar for the way a man should love his wife.

God made Eve to be the blessing Adam needed and deserved. Heavenly Father made her everything a woman could and should be. They both loved and honored one another, she, a helper perfectly suited to help Adam carry out God’s purpose, and he, perfectly suited to honor God and honor his wife. God set this up, and regardless of how modern we think we might be, understand that God knows best and His way works best. So, when a man makes you his wife, know what God requires of you and what He requires of the man. He expects the man to see you as a gift, one that is worthy of the celebration of marriage. ■

Amplified Bible Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation All rights reserved http://www.lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When He Makes You His Wife”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Honor God with Your Body

March 11, 2024

Your Relationship with God

There is no question that the world is trying to move to a complete abandonment of God’s Word. Part of this mindset is the desire to do whatever we want regardless of what God says. We want to do our own thing, and we saw this attitude first in Adam and Eve. It is rooted in a desire to escape God’s judgment about the wrong things we take pleasure in doing. The truth is that God is our Creator, and He tells us what is right and what is wrong. He sanctifies us and makes us holy through His Word and being sanctified and holy is the only way we can have fellowship with God. It’s the only way to enjoy the rich and satisfying blessings that are the rewards of pleasing Him.

We are washed in the blood of the lamb and become sanctified by it when we make Jesus Christ Lord over our lives. After this sanctification, this washing of the blood of Christ, our bodies are fit to become a temple that houses the Holy Spirit of God. Our Heavenly Father is perfect and pure. He is holy, and His Spirit cannot dwell in an unclean place. Because of what God accomplished for us through the sacrifice and resurrection of Christ, we are made clean, and this is what our Heavenly Father wanted. He wanted holy, pure, and perfect fellowship with us. He wanted to dwell in us so we could be close to Him, and He did all this through Christ.

As we continue to journey forward in our new birth reality in Christ, it is our responsibility to preserve our temples. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” God has commanded us to abstain from having sexual intimacy outside of marriage because doing so defiles our temples. He forgives us when we sin if we seek His forgiveness. God is merciful and full of grace. He grants us forgiveness when we ask for it, and this restores our fellowship with Him, but we must remember that for every action there is a consequence. His forgiveness does not mean that we escape the consequences of the sinful action we’ve committed.

Some of us have joined our flesh together with many men, and it has had a severe impact on our desire and plans for marriage. This is not stated to condemn, because condemnation keeps us from accepting the truth. It keeps us from repenting from our sin and moving forward and higher in Christ. To condemn is to make useless or unusable. Think of a building with the windows and doors nailed shut and with massive yellow tape labeled “Do Not Enter” wrapped around it. This building has been condemned and everyone knows that you should not enter a condemned building because it is no longer usable.

Romans 8:1(NLT) tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” God doesn’t want us walking around beating ourselves up for our sin. He wants us to repent from it. Repentance means to have a change of mind and a change of heart. It is to refuse to do the sinful thing we did before. This is true repentance, and we should bless the Lord continually for giving us this way to get right with Him.

The consequence of joining ourselves with men other than our husbands is what many women are experiencing today. They have never repented for this sin and do not intend to. A woman of God that has been single a long time said to me, “I need to know if we’re sexually compatible before we get married – waiting is not for me.” I shared 1Corinthians 6:19-20 with her and told her that our bodies don’t belong to us, they belong to God. She abruptly ended the conversation.

When we refuse to follow God’s standard, we get ourselves in disastrous situations. Like all God’s covenants, the one He created for men and women is marriage, and it is not to be violated. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 19:4-5 The Message (MSG), “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one.” God reserved sexual intimacy for marriage because it binds a man and a woman into one unit in the eyesight of God. When they are married, they no longer function as two, but as one. This is according to God’s divine plan. When we’ve become one with several men through sexual intimacy, it violates the sanctity of the covenant God established. No one should ever want to do this. When we know better, we should do better.

In Isaiah 3:16-17,24(AMP), God said about the Daughters of Zion, the women of His people, “16 Because the daughters of Zion are proud and walk with outstretched necks and seductive (flirtatious, alluring) eyes, and trip along with mincing steps and an affected gait and walk with jingling anklets on their feet, 17 Therefore the Lord will afflict the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion with scabs [making them bald], 24 Now it will come to pass that instead of the sweet fragrance of spices there will be [the stench of] rottenness.” This was the curse that the devil was allowed to land because the women refused to listen to God.

We can’t be free by believing a lie. We must know the truth so that we understand God’s requirements, reroute ourselves to follow them, and receive the blessings He wants to give us. Many are praying to cross paths with their future husbands, but they should be praying to get right with God. He requires that our strongest desire is to please Him. So, don’t allow the weight of unrepented sin and the refusal to obey God to continue to keep you out of fellowship with Him. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind to God’s Word, have a repenting and humble heart, and be committed to keep your temple holy. ■

Amplified Bible Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation All rights reserved http://www.lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Honor God with Your Body”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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A Bright Future Even When the Path Looks Foggy

March 4, 2024

Encouragement and Inspiration

Many people look at Christianity and following Christ as merely a facet of culture that fits their personal philosophy. They see their way as “the way”, and like sound bites, they pick out the bits and pieces of the Bible that seem to go along with their way of thinking. A true disciple of Christ can’t remain on the sidelines like this. God won’t allow it. His plan for our individual lives will require a gradual, and sometimes quickly paced, all in kind of heart and mind. We’ll begin to view our personal philosophy as something the love of Christ will chisel down and rebuild with better tools and materials.

God’s goal is not to eradicate our personality, but to shape it into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. It will require us to believe the truth, which is the reality that Christ is life itself. Outside of him, there is no life. There is only an empty existence that will be without the possibility of spending an eternity in him. So, as every believer knows, to choose Christ is to choose love, and to choose love is to choose life—complete and lasting life!

Colossians 2:10(NLT) tells us, “So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” This completeness is everything! Knowing this truth as the beautiful dream that God planned for us long before we entered our mother’s wombs should prompt us to go deeper in faith. We should long to know Jesus Christ on a deeper level so that we can know ourselves as completely as we are known of God. We should be resolute in knowing that better relationships, self-acceptance, peace of mind, and the joy of the Lord are all found in getting to know Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.

Do you know that God is teaching you to love Him, and in so doing you are learning to love yourself? 1John 4:8(NLT) says, “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” This is a truth great enough to send us on love’s journey for an eternity. God is love. He is love at its purest, most powerful and creative existence. His love is unconditional and has no limitations. Any sane and logically thinking person that can comprehend the breadth, width, and depth of God’s love has the capacity to love through Him. This is what 1John 4:8 is telling us. But, of course, whether or not we love through God in Christ is totally our choice.

In Mark 12:30(NLT), Jesus Christ commands, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” To love God with every ounce of all that we are is the first and great commandment. So, by logical deduction, we can understand that love’s path becomes very foggy when we do not love God in the way that Christ requires.

In most all cases, troubles and reparable brokenness in our relationships occur because we are not loving God according to the commandment of Christ in Mark 12:30. It is a very commonly known fact that many women make the significant man in their lives their everything. They don’t understand that God is sovereign and magnificent in every way, and He cannot accept a number two position ever.

When we bypass what God says and seek to please people over pleasing Him, our spiritual sight and hearing are impaired, because we are not allowing ourselves to be governed by His truth. Women that trust and have faith in God do not compromise or apologize for who He has made them. They must not allow anyone to squash their potential and rob them of the bright future God has ordained for their lives. To be embolden in Christ is to be ever inspired to rise to the level of his example. There are no curve outs or addendums to the victory that Jesus Christ has won for us. When we stand on God’s Word, that stand will remain a catalyst that causes things to work for our good. This is what our completeness in Christ means. It is not a philosophy, and it is exponentially more than a lifestyle. Living in Christ is living God’s truth!

Again, the path to love and blessings in a relationship can look very foggy, and we might find that we are not prepared for it. There are things about us and hiccups ahead that we can’t see from where we’re standing. Heartbreak and disappointment can cloud our view. We underestimate the degree to which we must turn ourselves around and make a shift in our thinking. 1John 5:3(ESV) states, “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” When it comes to relationships, many of us believe the exact opposite. We believe that God’s commandments are burdensome, that they can’t be kept, and that we’ll lose out if we follow the path of His love.

This is never the case. Yes, we will make mistakes, but they will not rob us of the bright future ahead if we correct our course according to God’s Word. Sometimes, all it takes is a slight change in our mindset to set us on the right path. Set your thoughts to those of victory and joy in Christ. Envision what God has for you, and let it keep you always. Honor yourself by honoring God, and don’t get caught up in feelings and emotions. Trust in the Lord, and keep your eyes stayed on Him. He holds your future in His hands, and it will beautifully unfold if you remain on the course of His love.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“A Bright Future Even When the Path Look Foggy”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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What’s the Wait All About?

February 26, 2024

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. 2 Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. 3 They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. 4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world.
Psalm 19:1-4(NLT)

Most of us know that we can’t get anywhere in life without the blessing of our Heavenly Father. He makes everything possible for us. Therefore, we know that when we have a need, we have to take it to the Lord in prayer. Philippians 4:6(NLT) tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Most of us understand this verse with crystal clarity, but it’s the waiting that causes us to question if marriage is going to happen for us. Single women, I know you hear me on this one. I’ve spoken to many single women of faith about the subject of waiting for the Lord to bless them to meet their husbands. We all agree that waiting on an answer to our prayers is often the most challenging part.

Society has taught us many things, and one of them is impatience. We think we can have what we want by speeding up the process so we can get it quicker. This is an approach that doesn’t work for those that are in Christ. Galatians 5:22 tells us that patience is a fruit of the Spirit. It’s a state of being, which makes it more than a feeling or attitude. It’s manifested inwardly by the Spirit and manifested outwardly through our actions and behaviors. The Spirit’s fruit is the nature of God’s children. It’s part of who we are, and it must be worked out in our hearts and minds to the point where our faith makes patience feel right at home.

Philippians tells us not to be anxious about what we are praying to receive. Anxiety about it means that fear is lurking about somewhere, and it’s causing our faith to take a backseat. So, we have to order our prayer lives in such a way that growing in patience and faith becomes our priority. The blessing of a husband is such a sweet reward, but it’s not the greatest prize. Growing our faith in God and tightening our relationship with Him is the real treasure. We have to know the difference between these two and prioritize them appropriately in our minds and hearts.

The Book of Genesis tells us that after Adam and Eve sinned against God by disobeying His Word, they hid themselves in shame. In Genesis 3:12(NLT), we learn a great deal about the shame of sin, and how most human beings handle this. Rather than accepting responsibility for the wrong he did and seeking God’s forgiveness with earnest sorrow, Adam said, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” The first man deflected and played the blame game. This demonstrates the human tendency to deflect, dodge, and hide from what we’ve done wrong as well.

Increasingly our environment is one in which we run from blame and run from the truth. We do it so much in fact that our society is losing its grasp on discernment. It’s grown so used to a lie that it no longer recognizes the truth. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, the way that we reject the actions of Adam and Eve and reject society’s poor judgment and refusal to love the truth is to do the opposite of what they have done. We must be lovers of God’s truth. The degree to which we love God’s truth will be on full view by our accountability for not obeying it. We have to come clean about not meeting God’s requirements during some of the situations we’ve gone through in life.

We can’t sweep that stuff under the rug as if the sin never occurred. We must repent, and when we do, God forgives us, but true repentance requires a change of heart and a change of mind. We shouldn’t continue with the same sins over and over again. How we honor God with reverence and obedience determines our ability to steward and handle His blessings. He is always watching and observing us. He’s not doing this to punish us. 2Chronicles 16:9 tells us that He’s looking for an opening to come in so He can bless us with our desires. We should be praying and seeking His guidance on how to do this, how to invite His blessing and fully put on His armor so we can grow stronger spiritually.

It would not be wise to ignore the reality that there is always a reason behind the wait, and that it usually has to do with our readiness to make room for the blessing. All of us think we’re ready, but if the man stepped in right this moment, many of us would place our commitment to God on the backburner and go all in with the relationship. Our commitments would change. Our priorities would change, and we have not even thought about how to navigate issues of intimacy in a way that pleases God. We’d be so thrilled to finally have an opportunity for love that we’d give over our hearts completely, when truly they are not ours to give.

Our hearts belong to God, but whether we are giving them to Him totally and completely is another story. For many years, we’ve underestimated the commitment and intimacy that God desires from us. We’re easily manipulated to shortchange Him and ourselves, and this cannot be. God is a Father! What does a father do? He looks after His kids. Whether we trust it or not, this is what the wait is all about. God is grooming us, helping us to cultivate the obedience, humility, and love for Him that a child of light must have. He’s helping us to develop spiritual strength so that when storm winds blow in our future marriages, we will not buckle from the pressure. We’ll stand strong and prove that following God’s Will and Word is the firm foundation that holds up our lives and preserves the unity of our marriages as well.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“What’s the Wait All About?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Harmony of the Heart

February 19, 2024

Devotions

A very good friend and sister-in-Christ told me that when a man truly loves a woman, peace in the relationship will follow. Her statement places an incredible amount of responsibility on the man, but still, I remember asking myself how in the world did she come to this realization. She was speaking from personal experience, and as I continued to reflect on her statement, I wondered what circumstances she experienced to ultimately have this kind of love and peace in her relationship. It wasn’t until I had gone through a few ups and downs in my own significant relationships that I realized how true her statement is.

Truly loving
Most women of God that have been praying to cross paths with their future husbands have heard Ephesians 5:25(NLT) and have placed on their checklist of expectations. In this verse, God commands, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” This is God’s standard regarding the caliber of love a man should have for his wife. Fast forwarding into our modern times, we see something very different from what God expects playing out.

It isn’t uncommon in today’s environment to see a woman putting all her heart into her significant relationship, but the man’s commitment and support doesn’t equal hers. She makes excuses for him, and she keeps telling herself and hoping that he’ll one day come around, but in many cases this doesn’t happen. It could be that he doesn’t understand God’s requirement. A person cannot rise above what they don’t know, so maybe this man has never had an up-close and personal visual of a truly loving relationship between a man and a woman, and he hasn’t yet learned to give of himself. It could be that he doesn’t have a big enough reservoir within himself to accommodate the love he should have for the significant woman in his life.

The bottom line is that when it comes to good love, the kind that God expects that men will extend to His daughters, the man must have a will to love the woman. This is what I believe my friend was conveying. Truly loving a person requires more than affection, it requires a depth that is reached when their destinies meet.

When God is in it

The psalmist said in Psalm 73:24(NLT), “You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.” Only God can set our destinies, and all our destinies are in Christ. Ephesians 1:3-6(NIV) tells us this. It states, “3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”

Destiny means that God is in it, and only He can lead us to it. Ephesians 1:3 tells us to celebrate God. He has lavished us with every spiritual blessing because of our union with Christ. He chose us! He made up His mind about who we should be and destined us to perfectly embody the blueprint of Christ. Our very lives are meant to be a celebration of God’s brilliance, walking hand in hand with Him every step of the way. His love for His Son is the same love He has for us, and His vision for us unfolds as we surrender everything to Him by faith.

We shouldn’t allow anything or anyone to deter us from the vision God holds for us, but often we do, and this is the place where peace and tranquility are interrupted. It’s the place where we are often tricked into thinking that we have something of substance, when in truth, we are accepting something far less than our privilege.

Sometimes we meet men that aren’t quite there in the love department. They haven’t yet learned to give quality love, because they haven’t received it, or they haven’t allowed God’s love into their hearts. If destiny isn’t involved, and we invest our time and energy into a relationship with this person, it can be disastrous. However, when God is in it, God can work through us. As women who celebrate Him and His love, we should be committed to walk in Christ. Our obedience to God reveals when and if we are destined to be the missing piece in the man’s life. If God says so and this is our destiny, we must be ever so careful to love and give like Christ, and to be the best ambassador for our Lord and Savior that we can be.

Being true to our destiny in Christ will create a synchronicity and balance to our relationships. Loving God with all that we are yields peace in our relationships, without loving Him in the way He requires, we are lost and have no hope. To strive for a healthy relationship that leads to a healthy marriage is to be in harmony with God’s plan from start to finish. When this is our posture, the right man can’t help but to bring peace, and it will be a perfect and destined match for the peace of God that is already in our hearts. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“A Heart of Harmony”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Binding Your Relationship with God’s Love

February 11, 2024

Relationship advice

“Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”
Colossians 3:14(NLT)

There are quite a few single Christian women that are praying fervently to cross paths with their future husbands. They become so used to the posture of praying to receive that when they finally do cross paths with a man they believe is Mr. Right, some of God’s daughters are overwhelmed. They just about lose their minds because they’ve waited a long time. The loneliness and wondering when things were going to turn around was challenging, and they don’t want to ever go back to those days. Sometimes, this causes them to place too much focus on the man and not enough focus on growing stronger in Christ. They’ll do just about anything to secure the new relationship. God’s grace is sufficient to us when this happens. He gives us time to adjust, but many singles take advantage of God’s grace and His patience.

When a man makes himself comfortable in our lives, he makes space for us in his heart. That’s such a wonderful thing, and God delights in our happiness. This is exactly what we prayed to happen, and we’re thrilled. There are so many emotions coming to the surface that it can surprise us how much we neglect or put other things on hold for this significant person. I know you know what I’m talking about. We must be careful to remember how easy it is to be lured away from our commitment to God with this. It should be no surprise that this is why God wants us spiritually strong before we partner, so that we will not succumb to the temptation of putting anything or anyone ahead of our relationship with God.

Hebrews 13:5(ESV) states, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”” This lesson isn’t just about money. It’s about demonstrating our gratitude for all that God is and all that He has done for us. It’s about prioritizing what’s important to God, because what’s important to Him should be important to us. People come and go. God is the One that will never leave or forsake us. He’s our everything and the Source of all blessings. We say we know and understand this, but our actions often say something very different. We don’t behave in every situation as though we realize that God must be number one in our hearts.

Understand fully that God can never, ever accept the position of number two. It’s far beneath what He deserves. Our responsibility to the faith should never be hot one minute and cold the next. The love of Christ is what opens the door in our lives for Mr. Right, but things can go south very quickly if we abandon our stand and jeopardize our relationship with God. We always need to behave as though we are aware of this temptation and are continuously praying to outpace it.

Many relationships with successful starts have ended in heartbreak because we underestimated the prayer, obedience, and loyalty that God requires. Our love for Him is the glue that holds all other relationships together. He tells us in Ephesians 4:3(NLT), “Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” It is our responsibility, yours and mine, to keep ourselves spiritually strong through God’s Word so that we treasure our oneness with the Spirit. Our union with the indwelling Holy Spirit binds us with others that love God, and it will strengthen every relationship we have if we are faithful to Him.

The brand of love that you and I produce on our own doesn’t have stickability. We have all these conditions and limitations to our love. If he doesn’t look a certain way, have money, or have a good job, we might not even give him the time of day. We see this a lot in men as well, especially those that haven’t yet learned to honor and appreciate a woman’s stand on God’s Word. Some of them make demands and will withdraw their affection and attention if those demands are not met. This isn’t God’s love; His love would never operate that way.

We must understand that we are never at a disadvantage for staying faithful to God and obeying His Word. God will always back the blessings He gives us, and we should never worry or think for one second that He will not. We need God’s love and Word to keep us moving in the direction of marriage. Keep yourself committed to God. Stay in His Word continually and always keep God first in your life.■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Binding Your Relationship with God’s Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Something Has to Change

January 31, 2024

Relationship advice

2Peter 3:9(ESV) assures us, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” God has promised us a rich inheritance in the Lord Jesus Christ, and it will be more than we could ever have imagined. When we compare what is to come with our everyday reality, our present circumstances don’t come close. Most of us are aware of this, and we want God to hurry up, quick fast and in a hurry, so that we can bask in the wonder of all He has in store.

This verse in 2Peter 3:9 tells us that God isn’t slow to bring His promises to past. We are witnessing His incredible patience with us. He is waiting for every person whose name is written in His Book of Life to come to Him and repent. His patience is purposeful to His plan, and this is a paradigm for every aspect of His Will.

When it comes to being single, many of us can relate to thinking that things are moving too slow. We can tolerate one or two years, but waiting for Mr. Right much longer than this seems a bit much. The loneliness can turn into one long stretch of feeling sad and disappointed, and anyone that has experienced this knows how taxing it can be. Although feeling lonely and sad can weigh us down, these feelings also reveal that we are acutely aware of the differences between happiness and sadness. We know when happiness isn’t in our neighborhood, and that’s not a place we want to live. So, the experience of sadness and loneliness can teach us how much we value happiness and how much we believe it is tied to having a significant relationship.

This is important information because it gives us a very clear yardstick of measuring where we are and where we want to be. The vision of where we want to be is the dynamic we must learn to work with and transform. 2Peter 3:9 points out very decisively the difference between where we are right now, living in this world, and it points out where we will be when we return to our heavenly home. None of us have seen heaven with our physical eyes, but we know that earth cannot compare to heaven. However, God tells us about what is to come in His Word so that the vision of the glory that awaits us will remain fresh in our minds and hearts. He doesn’t want us to ever lose sight of the reality that this earth is a temporary dwelling, and that which is to come is more extraordinary than we can imagine. This is our hope, and maintaining hope is crucial to being happy.

Our desire for marriage is sort of a small trial run for our hearts and minds. It’s something many of us truly want, but it hasn’t yet manifested in our lives. Just as there’s a distance between where we are and the reality of God’s promise of our inheritance in Christ, there is a distance between our current single status and the promise of marriage. When it comes to His promise in 2Peter 3:9, God is patiently waiting for the repentance of those that haven’t yet come to Him. What’s this wait about? He’s waiting for the person to change, for them to recognize that they need Him desperately and they need to surrender their lives to Him. He is relentlessly patient to wait for all His children to repent, and He will never break His promise to wait for this.

As we hold on to the vision of getting married to the person God will send, we must come to terms with this distance between being single and being married. In order to bridge that distance, something has to change. This is a truth many have failed to acknowledge. Change begins internally and then, as we are transformed, our external reality will begin to mirror the greater love of Christ that we have anchored in our hearts and minds.

It cannot be lost on us that our refusal to put on more of Christ, and our allegiance to remain where we are in our minds and hearts will translate to remaining the same in our circumstances. Sadness and loneliness don’t speak the truth about the vision of marriage God has given us. They don’t help us put on more of God’s love and faith in our hearts, and they do not represent a true picture of the faith we should have regarding the vision of marriage we should hold for ourselves.

Are you seeing yourself as a woman that is sold-out in your faith in God? Is your heart overflowing with joy because God has made such wonderful promises in His Word to His children? Do you believe that God is the Giver of good and perfect gifts, and He delights in your joy and happiness? Can you see yourself as the most loving, compassionate, selfless and giving wife you can be? The answers to these questions reveal that something inside must change to hold the vision of marriage that God desires for you. Show Him that you are committed to it. Get in His Word and pray that as you renew your mind and learn more about Christ, He will transform your vision of marriage into the reality He has for you. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Something Has to Change”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Are You Giving God Enough to Work With

January 24, 2024

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons, Your Relationship with God

Luke 6:37-38(NLT)
“37 Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

Giving, being unselfish, and pouring into the lives of others is more than a wonderful gesture. The practice of giving is a commandment from God. Giving is His nature, and as His children, it must be our nature as well. It begins in the heart, and once it is expressed outwardly through our actions, the act of giving becomes a powerful instrument of change, transforming the hearts and lives of others as well as our own. Jesus Christ makes it plain in Luke 6:37-38 that the practice of giving is a law, and it is immutable. This means it can’t be manipulated or changed by anyone. Giving initiates a process where the outcome is predictable. If we give, we will receive, and what we receive will be in proportion to what we have given. This is a profound lesson of love.

In the Old Testament, our Heavenly Father was adamant to instruct His people to follow His statutes, commandments, and instructions. Doing so was the only way He could bless them. In Leviticus 18:4(NLT), He told them, “You must obey all my regulations and be careful to obey my decrees, for I am the LORD your God.” In Deuteronomy 5:32(NLT), through Moses, He instructed, “You must be careful to obey all the commands of the LORD your God, following his instructions in every detail.” And in Joshua 1:7(NLT), He told Joshua, Moses’s successor, “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do.”

God is a Righteous Judge. He does not bless any and every action or effort that an individual undertakes. God blesses His Word, because His Word is alive, righteous, and true. His Word achieves His plan and purpose. He said in Isaiah 55:11(NLT), “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.”

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder. This is what He does. He rewards! He compensates! And He is more masterful at it than any of us can imagine, but He does not reward disobedience. He rewards those who obey and have faith in what He says. It’s amazing because He doesn’t make this complicated, yet we have somehow made it far more complex than He intended. His ways are not burdensome, they bring life to us and everything we set our hands to do. 1John 5:3-4(NLT) declares, “3 Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.”

In Luke 6:37-38, our Lord and Savior frames the heart God expects us to have in order to live our best blessed life. It’s two-pronged. First, he addresses the issue of forgiving others. This is essential to living a Christ-like life. It’s speaks to the condition of an individual’s heart. If we are committed to forgive in the way God has commanded, our hearts are humble and pliable. And this humility and flexibility are required to please Him and fulfill His requirement that we have a heart like Christ. Forgiveness is a gift we offer others that have hurt us in some way. We forgive them because God has forgiven us. We freely offer what has been freely offered to us. This demonstrates that God’s Word and love are first in our lives.

The second prong teaches us about the law of God regarding our giving-actions. It teaches us how we can align our existences with His blessings by being obedient to this law. Through freely giving, we set a boomerang in motion. It has the potential to anchor us in God’s blessed and continuous cycle of giving and receiving. The thing that we must also come into consciousness about is that just the opposite takes place when we fail to heed God’s instructions about giving. Rather than setting ourselves up for blessings, when we don’t give, we are moving in the opposite direction of them. Through selfishness and the refusal to give according to God’s instructions, we set a negative cycle in motion. This is a condition that causes situations and circumstances to always work against our greater good.

The refusal to give will always produce fruit that are equal to that refusal. A lack of forgiveness and generosity will yield the negative situations and circumstances that support it, and these will continue to keep a person cut off from the blessings they desire most.

Many women are praying to receive God’s best but have not postured themselves to give God their best. The law of giving and receiving is one of God’s ways of positioning His kids for greatness and a fulfilling life. We must open our eyes to how our attitude towards forgiveness and giving are tied to whether we are accepting or rejecting what God has in store.

He tells us in Malachi 3:10(NLT), “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!” Here in the Old Testament, God is teaching us about tithing into His Kingdom as a way of blessing us through His law of giving and receiving. He’s showing us the immutability and endurance of His laws, and if there is any doubt in our minds about them, He challenges us to test them out, and find out for ourselves that His Word and Ways are true.

Cutting to the chase, many of us aren’t giving God enough to work with. We’re refusing to rally our faith to give and sow in the way that God instructs. When it comes to being generous and sowing into His Kingdom, some of us still think that if we give our little bit to Him that He will allow greater lack to exist in our circumstances. We refuse to believe in His supernatural provision. When it comes to forgiving those that have hurt us, we allow fear and resentment to close our hearts, because we refuse to believe that God will keep us safe. All of this is a lack of faith, and it goes against the strategy that God has given us for an abundant life. We must believe that God will reward our giving, and this must be backed up by making forgiveness and giving the motivation of our hearts.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Are You Giving God Enough to Work With?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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The Rules of Dating

January 17, 2024

Relationship advice, Your Relationship with God

The rules of dating in a way that leads to marriage are not exactly outlined in the Bible in a step-by-step format. In fact, some have complained that not much about dating is specifically covered in God’s Word. This is because God never intended that dating should be the ‘thing’ that the world has made it out to be. With all our modern conveniences and intellectual advancements, it should be no surprise to any of us that most people view the standards of God’s Word relating to marriage and dating as antiquated. Personally, I’ve been told many times that I’m ridiculous for espousing abstinence, even though this is what God says in His Word. We’re at a place where denying God’s Word is so rampant that many are blinded to His guidance about dating. Their hearts are set on following their own way instead of following His way, and this tactic will not yield success.

In Old Testament times, the people of Israel asked Samuel, God’s prophet, to petition God on their behalf. They no longer wanted to be under the Lord’s sovereignty. There is no one like God. He is majestic beyond majesty, brilliant beyond brilliance, and perfect beyond perfection. He is King! He chose the Israelites to be His people, and He desired them to honor His absolute sovereignty so they could remain under the covering of His protection and care. They decided they no longer wanted this but instead wanted a human king like all the other nations. They didn’t want to be set apart for God but wanted to be like everyone else. This is a humongous issue in the lives of believers today. Many of us no longer want to be set apart as God’s holy people. We want to follow the world and live outside God’s statutes and standards.

It’s hard to imagine why anyone who witnessed the kind of miracles and wonders that God performed for the people of Israel would want to remove themselves from His sovereignty, but this is what they wanted and chose to do. They paid a very heavy price for this decision, and so will we if we choose to ignore God’s Will.

God granted their petition, even though it was a blatant denial of Him and His sovereignty. He appointed Saul as their first king, but Saul messed everything up. He became arrogant with his rank and position as king, and disobeyed God’s directions and instructions. God then sent Samuel on a mission to anoint the next king. Left to his own devices, Samuel would have appointed someone that looked the part but didn’t have the heart God was looking for. When he tried to do this, God told Samuel in 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

God looks at the heart, and He knows our hearts through and through. He knows when our hearts are valuing His Word, and He knows when our hearts are motivated out of a predominant desire to please Him. This is a person that can be guided by God’s Spirit. They have a heart that is loyal toward Him. He said in 2Chronicles 16:9 that He searches throughout the entire earth, looking for those that are fully committed and loyal to Him, so He can show Himself strong on their behalf.

The rules of dating are simple; be obedient to God’s Word. He specifically looks for people who love and honor Him with their whole hearts, particularly when it comes to dating, because too many of us are abandoning God’s standards. When He finds people that have placed their faith in Him alone, He opens their eyes to His strength, and they see His wonders in their lives. He longs to do this for all His kids, because He loves us so much, but we must desire to please God wholeheartedly. The goal is not to please ourselves, but to please Him, and pleasing Him positions us to receive His rewards.

In the Old Testament, God told His people repeatedly that if they would obey His commands and abide by His statutes, He would bless them and caused them to be prosperous and live long lives. In Leviticus 26:13(NLT), God told them, “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt so you would no longer be their slaves. I broke the yoke of slavery from your neck so you can walk with your heads held high.” They were a stubborn people, and like many of us, they were intent to follow their own way, and that way led them to destruction. In Leviticus 26:13, our Heavenly Father had to remind them of who He is, and again, there are many records in the Old Testament where He had to do this time and time again.

God had to remind them that He doesn’t change. He’s the God that delivered the Israelites from the tyranny of Egyptian slavery. He parted the Red Sea for their escape, fed them manna from Heaven, and in the desert, He made water burst forth from rocks for them to drink. He’s the same God that sent His Son to die as a sacrifice for our sins over two thousand years ago so that we would be saved from the slavery of sin and death. No, God has not changed, and His Word hasn’t changed. His standards are holy and righteous, and to show our hearts loyal to Him, we must obey them.

The world is increasingly becoming a place where true disciples and followers of Christ stand out more and more, because so few of us are actually adhering to God’s standard. Our Heavenly Father has set us apart as His children of light. Dating can’t be a carve-out where His standards do not apply. His goal and desire are that we are blessed, happy, fulfilled, and married if we desire it. He’s given us His Word because it is life to us. It equips us for a thriving life in Christ, and by this we can know that He blesses His Word. Anyone that follows it will be rewarded. Companionship is one of those rewards, but we must never get ahead of God and let sin take us out of the race. He will send the right person for our lives, and until He does, we’d be wise not to allow dating to cancel or delay the blessing of a marriage that is founded on the unity and love of Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Rules of Dating”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Marriage Is A Gift from God

January 10, 2024

Relationship advice

“Could it be that the reason you’re so frustrated with life is because things didn’t work out with your man?” A mutual friend asked Adrienne this question because she seemed to be having a tough week. She didn’t want to be around anyone, and this was unusual for a person as outgoing as Adrienne. We all suspected that she was going through something with the significant person in her life; it had been an on-again-off-again relationship for almost a decade. It was no secret that Adrienne wanted to marry this man, and she thought Stephon was changing his mind about marriage, but he never made any promises. She was in such a tailspin because he finally told her that he was nowhere near ready to be married. He didn’t want to hurt her, but ended their conversation with, “I just really don’t consider myself the marrying type.”

Why do men do things like this? Why do they remain in a relationship for that long, knowing full well that the woman has marriage on her mind? To be honest, the answer to these questions isn’t difficult, and deep down, most women know it. The reason why a man will remain in a 10-year on-again-off-again relationship and never commit to marriage is because he knows he can. This isn’t a righteous move on his part, but it’s not just him. This is an issue that involves both the man and the woman.

In Luke 9:62(NLT), our Master Jesus taught about the importance of commitment and the danger of procrastination. He said, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” A plow is a farming tool. Jesus Christ often used farming in his teachings because farming was a huge part of the lifestyle of those living during that time. They didn’t have the convenience of grocery stores back then, so they were dependent on farming for their own source of food. They had to maintain livestock that could be used for meat, and they had to grow their own vegetables, as well as grains for bread. In order to keep the land fertile for planting, a plow was used to manually turned over the soil each planting season, and this was not easy labor.

It’s not difficult to understand why farming was key to survival. It was nothing to play around with. A farmer was expected to understand the requirements and get to it. He had to know that plowing is laborious and necessary work that is required to produce the beneficial and expected results. He also had to understand that a failure to produce a harvest might mean catastrophe for his family. This is the backdrop for Luke 9:62, and Jesus Christ zeroes in on the importance of what’s at stake.

A qualified farmer is someone who provides and produces for others. He would never put his hand to a plow and then procrastinate and look away with hesitation. If he does this, Jesus says he’s not fit for the Kingdom of God. He’s not fit because he’s vacillating, and this equates to instability. James 1:8(KJV) states, “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

Is this what we think we deserve, someone that procrastinates or looks away in hesitation because they’re not sure about us. Both men and women have done this when it comes to the things of God. We’re not stepping up to the plate in faith, but we’re wavering, wondering if God is who He says He is and if He’ll do what He says He will do in His Word. We have our hands on the plow, but we’re not prepared to move it forth with the obedience and diligence God requires. If we’re not going to do it for God, our Creator and Source of all that is good, we are certainly not going to do it for another human being.

Women need to understand this very basic piece of wisdom. They are expecting a man to commit to them wholeheartedly when they have not committed wholeheartedly to God. We can change this, and we should. 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” This verse tells us that God desires to bless His people, and His people have the distinct pleasure and responsibility to present the landscape for His blessings to land.

1Samuel 16:7 affirms that God doesn’t see things the way that we do. He doesn’t judge by outward appearance; God looks at the heart. He warns us in Proverbs 4:23(NLT), “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” He’s telling us to guard against apathy, doubt, or anything else that comes against Him and His Word, because those things will shape a future that we will not like. Whatever is in our hearts will produce an outcome. It will either give God something to work with or not. And sometimes, we are crying out for the man to love us, when our hearts have not made enough space for God.

Galatians 6:7(NLT) warns, “Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.” It is very clear that if we’re not putting the love of God out there in the way that God has ordained, we’re not going to get the return we expect. Many men will not be righteous in their dealings. They come into relationships and stay in them when they are fully aware of their intentions to remain unmarried, but women have a responsibility to God and to themselves to see this for what it is. We cannot expect a man to change his opinion about our worthiness to be his wife when he doesn’t even want one.

In 1Corinthians 7:7(MSG), the Apostle Paul said, “Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.” Paul understood that our whole purpose for being in the earth is to have a relationship with God and to grow more like Christ with each passing day. Most of us struggle with the truth that this is our purpose and choose to do our own thing rather than to follow after our King. Paul resisted this trap. He understood that our purpose is just that simple and that many people, especially women, have looked to marriage to fill their cups instead of God.

This is why Paul said that being single is a simpler life. It allows an individual to be singular in focus when it comes to the things of God. For others, marriage is the way to go. God gives these individuals the gift of marriage because they understand that marriage is designed to deepen our relationship with God, not detract from it. At least one of the individuals in any couple must comprehend this truth. When that’s the case, they will always put God first, and He will reward them according to the love of Christ that is in their hearts. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Marriage Is A Gift from God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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