Finding A Christian Man

Squeezing Fear Out of Your Relationship

December 3, 2017

Uncategorized

Just about every Christian has heard the record regarding Job in the Old Testament. Depending on each individual, his story is impactful for different reasons; and those reasons change as we reread the Book of Job. Each time our appreciation for this account deepens and we find the jewel of another life lesson. For some, Job’s patience is the thing that stands out most. For others, it might be his allegiance to God. One of the things that I find most valuable is the lesson about Job’s fear, and how it opened the door for the enemy to reap havoc in his life. In Job 3:25, he said, “What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come true.”

Again, this verse hit home for me as I comforted a friend recently that is struggling in her finances. Her husband walked out on her and their kids a few years ago, because he had never gotten over his first wife. My friend said she knew this in her heart, but she loved him so much and wanted desperately to be married. She said to me, “I’ve buried my face in the sand and let my fears run my life!” That’s a very transparent realization. It’s the kind that can lead to real healing from the Master.

There were red flags in this woman’s relationship way before she got married, but she ignored them because of the fear of being alone. As women, we do this all the time – we overlook what is so apparent to us for the sake of being loved. We forget that God desires to anchor His daughters so deep in His love that their cups are overflowing in it. He wants us to be overwhelmingly fulfilled, much more than we could ever imagine, but when He sees that we are making decisions that are not in our best interest, He will absolutely allow us to make them. This is one of the things that the account of Job demonstrates for us.

Job’s children were an unruly lot, and he was so afraid that they had done something against the Will of God, that he constantly offered sacrifices on their behalf. Job 1:5 (NLT) tells us, “When these celebrations ended—sometimes after several days—Job would purify his children. He would get up early in the morning and offer a burnt offering for each of them. For Job said to himself, “Perhaps my children have sinned and have cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular practice.”” His mind-and-heart-set was one of fear instead of an understanding of what it means to have faith in God. Faith is how we demonstrate gratitude and love towards Heavenly Father; without it, our relationship with Him lacks intimacy. As sisters in the Lord, we sometimes make the mistake of looking for this intimacy in our relationship with men before we have established it with Heavenly Father. This is out of order, because Jesus Christ has schooled us that God must be sought first. He’s priority number one. So any time we step outside this alignment, we’re going to compromise our relationship with Heavenly Father, and we’re going to reap the consequence of wrong actions and bad choices.

Sisters in the Lord, our desire to partner comes already baked in our makeup. It is important to acknowledge this so that we are confident that God would never withhold the blessing of marriage from us. The issue is never about punishment or withholding the blessing, so as intelligent, spiritual thinkers, we must deduce that the issue is something else. Our problem is that we will not be as transparent about our fear as we need to be. We will not recognize that we’re settling for something that isn’t God’s best because we are fearful of loneliness or lack. Whenever fear drives our decisions, we’re in disobedience to the Will and Word of God.

Before we reach the juncture of poor decisions and wrong choices, God warned us. If we take the time to reflect, we’ll remember those instances when He sent someone across our paths to slow us down a bit. Maybe it was a Word that we heard at Sunday service, or a word of wisdom spoken to you. Perhaps you asked your close friend whether you should continue dating the man you love, and her answer was one you didn’t like. There are many ways in which the indwelling Holy Spirit nudges us to choose better, but we ignore them for the sake of having a warm body next to us.

The easy way out is to suppress what you fear the most in hopes that if you don’t pay it any attention, it will simply go away. But the truth is that un-resolved fear will continue to show up and manifest in other areas and relationships. Like Job, we have to face it! Facing it is the only way to squeeze it out of our relationships. You and I don’t know what this looks like entirely, if we did, we would have surrendered it to God through Jesus Christ a long time ago. It is a situation that requires us to let go and let God. This means that we first repent, recognizing that we, if even on a subconscious level, have allowed our relationship with God to slip to second. Then, we need to be willing to invest whatever it takes to shift our every focus on Heavenly Father. When we do this, we put the squeeze on fear, and allow the Holy Spirit the room to heal us and repair our relationships as well.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Squeezing Fear Out of Your Relationship”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Six Degrees of Separation

November 25, 2017

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

There is an idea, you may have heard of it, called six degrees of separation. It’s a theory that we’re all inter-connected, and that within a pool of random strangers, no one would be more than six individuals from someone they either know or knows them. It’s an interesting concept and at times you might see it play out in your own life. You might have had a conversation with someone you’ve just met and it turns out you have a mutual friend or acquaintance. There are all kinds of coincidences like this in life, but there are certain things, like our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, that we can never leave to chance. It is such a critical issue facing many singles right now, because it’s possible they are six degrees away from separating themselves from the relationship with God that He has destined them to have.

If asked, most individuals who believe in Heavenly Father have something that they’ve been specifically praying about. It’s a blessing they would really like to see come to past in their lives. Whether it is a health challenge, mending a relationship, a financial blessing, or meeting their future spouses, just about everyone has a gap, and they are waiting for Heavenly Father to fill it. He never withholds blessings from us. As spiritually mature Christians, He expects us to understand that what separates us from our blessings is an opportunity for connection. God Blesses us through people in many cases. They come from being at the right place at the right time, and connecting with the right person.

God also wants us to understand that His love must be rooted and grounded in our hearts, because a heart filled with God’s love causes the most beautiful blessings to flow our way. Many of us are so incredibly close to receiving what we’ve waited so long for. We’re six connections away from the person that will lead us to what we seek. This season is so consequential because we’re also six connections away from being tricked into turning our backs on the life God has planned for us.

Many of us haven’t recognized how incredibly important it is that we get fully persuaded in faith and cling to Jesus Christ with everything that is in us. We allow ourselves to think and believe that we have more time, but that’s a dangerous posture to take. Luke 13:23-27(NLT) tells us, “23 Someone asked him, “Lord, will only a few be saved?” He replied, 24 “Work hard to enter the narrow door to God’s Kingdom, for many will try to enter but will fail. 25 When the master of the house has locked the door, it will be too late. You will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Lord, open the door for us!’ But he will reply, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’ 26 Then you will say, ‘But we ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.’ 27 And he will reply, ‘I tell you, I don’t know you or where you come from. Get away from me, all you who do evil.’”

So much is at stake, and we’re so close to breaking through, but it is so easy to think that we’re flowing with God, when actually we’re budding heads against His plan. We’re not anchored in purpose, but more concerned about satisfying ourselves. I can tell you that I would hate to live a life where anything would keep me separated from having a closer and more intimate relationship with Him. When it comes to pleasing Him, I want to be number one in my Lord’s eyes, and if this isn’t how you feel, if something is more important to you than honoring and pleasing God through the Lord Jesus Christ, then it’s time to pray a different prayer.

It’s not enough to have the Christian lingo down pat, the love of Christ must be rooted down deep in us. There are many sisters praying that God will bless them with a husband, but their hearts are far from God. Heavenly Father is so incredibly loving and kind, but He cannot be fooled, and He will not bend His Word and Will to our refusal to put on love and faith. God rewards diligence. He rewards our desire and commitment to line up with His Word. Six degrees of separation may be just a myth, but it certainly conveys the truth of how close we are to the blessing we seek at any point in time, IF our souls are right with God.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Six Degrees of Separation”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Get Back Up and Get It All Back!

November 19, 2017

Encouragement and Inspiration

Joel 2:25 (NLT), “The LORD says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.””

Have you been robbed or lost something that you’ve been praying for God to restore? For many single women and mothers, the answer may be, “Yes– A LOT!” If you’ve been married, and found yourself in a situation where your husband no longer loves you, and has decided to leave you for another woman, you probably feel robbed. If you’ve been single for many years and have never even come close to marriage, you may feel that life has robbed you as well. The list can be endless…however, we serve a loving Heavenly Father, and He has heard our every plea for help.

Joel 2:25 gives us assurance that whatever we’ve lost or has been stolen, God will give it back to us. Only He can get us back on track when we’ve gotten on the wrong path. Only He can make sure the time we’ve lost doesn’t continue to hold us back, and only God can restore us to a point where we are better than we were before. He sees the many tears we’ve shed, but wants us to be assured that weeping endures only for a night, but joy is coming in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

We’ve seen the struggle of many of our sisters, and the struggle is real. Singles have become weary with waiting on God to bless them with a man that has the capacity and desire to love them right. Some married women are heartsick and tired of dealing with a husband that just won’t be faithful. Some mothers don’t know what to do anymore about a child that doesn’t listen or make the right choices, no matter how much they’ve talked to and counseled them. These are issues that weight us down, and can potentially deplete us in every way, but there’s one thing that we must never do, and it is to allow the weariness from the problem to outweigh our faith in God to solve them.

Now we have to keep it real, some of us have gotten robbed because we left the keys to our hearts in the hands of the wrong person. We placed all our eggs in the basket of someone that couldn’t even handle his own. All of us make the mistake of trusting in situations and people more than we trust the Word of God. We trust our way of doing things more than we trust His way, and this will never yield optimum results. But no matter how we look at it, the bottom line is that we get robbed because the enemy is a thief and robbing is what he does. The devil looks for an opening in our lives so that he can keep us from being who God says we can be, doing what God says we can do, and having what God says we can have.

All of us have situations that bring us to our knees, but the Christian should use that time to pray and humble themselves before God through the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, we will face situations that trip us up and cause us to fall, but you best believe that through Christ we can get back up. Proverbs 24:15-16 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Don’t interfere with good people’s lives; don’t try to get the best of them. No matter how many times you trip them up, God-loyal people don’t stay down long; Soon they’re up on their feet, while the wicked end up flat on their faces.”

We might get weary, but let’s not faint. We may get robbed of the things that are very precious to us, but let’s renew our conviction to stand in faith, trusting that God will get it all back for us. We may get knocked down, but let’s be determined to get back up stronger and better than ever. Isaiah 40:31(NLT) encourages us to be continually resilient. It tells us, “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” This is God’s promise, and because He said it, we can count on it with every fiber of our beings.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“Get Back Up and Get It All Back”, written for findingChristianman.com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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From Lonely to Coupled

November 12, 2017

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

Matthew 6:26 (NLT)
“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”

Do you believe you are worthy and lovable? God says you are. This is a question we sometimes have to ask ourselves when our behavior speaks otherwise. God challenges us to shift our focus off what we don’t have and consider what He has already provided, but this is a tough cookie in the face of loneliness. Our emotions are a good indicator of our headspace at any given time, and the problem with loneliness is that it tricks us into believing that God hasn’t provided exactly what we need, when we know from His Word that He has.

Philippians 4:6 (NLT) is a very impactful verse, because it not only comforts us, but it tells us what to do in order to see good results. It says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Worrying is a thorn in our faith. It jams the ability of our minds to think the Word and the ability of our hearts to trust the Word. So when our faith equipment isn’t working properly, the end results will not be as pleasing to us as they could be.

God instructs us to pray about everything. Prayer is communication with God. It isn’t just a bunch of words we use to put in our requests. It’s a sacred communion with Him that requires us to acknowledge Him as our Creator and Holy Father, and to therefore acknowledge ourselves as His children and loved ones. He commands us to tell Him what we need, and then thank Him for it, even though it may not have manifested in our external reality. This is faith, because faith requires us to trust God and not depend on what we see.

Matthew 6:26 asks us to make a comparison. It tells us to consider the birds. They don’t plant, harvest, or store food, and yet Heavenly Father has provided for them. You are His child; how much more will He do for you? This is sometimes the clog in the engine of our faith; we haven’t taken the time to really allow the reality of our identity in Christ to take hold in our hearts. Faith is how we demonstrate our gratitude to God. We must discipline our minds and hearts to be thankful for the blessing of a husband, truly and authentically thankful, even though he may not be in our lives yet. Thank God not because the man will take you from lonely to coupled, but because the blessing of a husband symbolizes that you’ve learned to trust God.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“From Lonely to Coupled”, written by FACM, FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Keep A Watchful Eye

November 5, 2017

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

Mark 13:33 (NIV)
“Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. 34 It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with his assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch. 35 “Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back-whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. 36 If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. 37 What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”

We live in a very precarious time now, so much so, that we can never take our basic comforts for granted. We don’t know the day nor the hour when our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, will return, but it’s our duty and responsibility to be ready, and to stay as alert as possible. God warns us to keep watch! We should all take this very literal. It’s like reading a road sign that says “Slow Down, Slippery Conditions Ahead!” Seeing this while driving immediately puts the driver on alert. It means extreme caution, eyes glued to the road. Well, Mark 13:33 is our road sign of warning on this Christian journey, alerting us to keep our eyes peeled to what God is doing. Some of us are getting too comfortable, and we may not be ready when the Lord comes back.

One area in life where many of us aren’t cautious or guarded enough is the area of relationships. We will sometimes allow our desire for love to take centerstage and throw caution to the wind. Keeping it real, we can all relate to the need to be loved. I’m not talking about that surface stuff. I’m referring to the deep yearning of our souls to have our empty space filled with the warmth of genuine affection. We will sometimes equate this feeling to that of physical intimacy. The danger in this is that we allow the need to have this emptiness filled to be our benchmark for feeling loved. We then look to a man to keep us filled up continually.

It truly isn’t in another person’s ability to fill us up. God created us to seek Him, and through Him we are filled. There’s a level of spiritual intimacy that is beyond anything that can be attained in this world. This intimacy with God is expressed in Ephesians 3:17. It says, “Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” We become distracted by men that aren’t the right fit for us because we look to plant our roots in shallow soil. God’s desire is that we plant them in Christ, where they will take root in good soil that will keep us strong and prepared for the future.

Heavenly Father wants us to keep a watchful eye on what we seek and who we seek it from because the very act of seeking determines what fills us and who fills us. Jesus Christ is the author and finisher of our faith. He’s coming back for a church that is ready, without spot or blemish, to receive him. Until he returns, our greatest ambition and heart’s desire must be to seek God and do all we can to please him. Hebrews 10:23(NLT) admonishes us, “Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” God will take care of our every need according to His riches in glory. Hold on to this promise tightly and keep your eyes planted on Him to fulfill it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Keep A Watchful Eye”, written by findingchristianman.com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Give God Something to Work With

October 29, 2017

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

The process of going from single to happily engaged, and then walking down the aisle, can provoke a series of emotional highs and lows. It will require you to acknowledge whether you’re prepared to leave the peace and tranquility of single life to the oneness and complexities that come with partnership. Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NLT) tells us, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” So this good news is a sound basis for assessing the possibilities for what lies ahead, but there’s also another very important aspect that this verse reveals. When it comes to choosing, we can’t forget that the goal according to Ecclesiastes 4:9 is that we choose someone that will not hold us back or stifle our aspirations to make the most of ourselves, but will in fact help us to succeed.

Let’s be honest, the population of single women continues to grow, and to a lot of them, it might look as though the number of single Christian men continues to dwindle. I would argue that it isn’t that they are dwindling, but that our vision is limited. Opportunities are revealed where preparation has finished its course. We think that because we don’t see a thing, that it isn’t there. This isn’t always true.

Everything that exists comes from God. He is the Creator of all, and everything belongs to Him. Ephesians 1:3 (NLT) declares, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ.” The Creator of everything has blessed us with ALL spiritual blessings because of our union with Christ. Just because you and I are not able to see ALL spiritual blessings with our physical eyes, it doesn’t mean that they are not ours to claim and activate. God has given them to us. Even though we may not necessarily see them, we are commanded by God to trust what He says in His Word and take them by faith.

2Corinthians 5:7(NLT) tells us that we should walk by faith and not by sight. We can’t depend on our physical eyes to see all the blessings that God has in store for us. Many of them remain in the embodiment of faith, and will come into full view in the season of manifestation. It is a season that is ushered in by our continued commitment to trust Heavenly Father even when conditions and circumstances seem dim. The perception that good men are dwindling is not an accurate one. If we continue in this line of thinking, it means that we have limited what we choose to believe about God’s provision. We will always see less in the areas where our vision is small.

So why don’t we give God something to work with? We can begin by changing our attitudes to line up with the blessing He wants to give us. He has made it clear that He is pleased when two people work together to succeed. If we ask, He will certainly help us to cross paths with a man that is the right fit. He is the man that will extend to you the kind of partnership that moves you forward and upward in God’s divine plan and purpose for your life.

There is no lack whatsoever in God. Many of us have a ready-made-up heart and mind about what we want and need. We make this assessment with limited knowledge. We don’t see what God sees, and we don’t know what He knows. If we want to make good decisions and choices, we must be willing to spend intimate time with God in prayer, and study His Word more. We need His wisdom. Proverbs 4:5-7(NLT) says, “5 Get wisdom; develop good judgment. 6 Don’t forget my words or turn away from them. Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you. 7 Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.”

In the past, our plans haven’t worked out. Our way of thinking did not yield the results we sought. Now is the time to seek God for counsel, to inquire and confront where we might have gone wrong, and what we can do to partner successfully. We shouldn’t continue the practices that are not helping. A change in our minds and hearts is needed. Give God the wiggle room He requires to help you change the way you think, to empty out the negative and replace it with faith and love. Then, you will be able to transition out of being single with wisdom and grace.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Give God Something to Work With”, findingchristianman.com©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Stand in the Uniqueness of YOU!

October 22, 2017

Encouragement and Inspiration

Have your insecurities sabotaged past relationships? Are you beating yourself up constantly for your shortcomings and shortfalls? Are you confident that you won’t bring self-condemnation and self-doubt into a new relationship? These questions are important to ask ourselves because the answers will help us to deal with stuff in our hearts. Some of us are still struggling with issues that we had before we even began to pray about marriage or crossing paths with the man that is to be our husbands. These things are heart issues that we need to confront, because Jeremiah 17:10 tells us, “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” God looks at our hearts, and He rewards us based on what’s going on in them.

We know that God doesn’t like arrogance, and that a prideful attitude greatly displeases Him. He loves humility, and Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 18:4 that the way to be great in God’s eyes is to humble ourselves like little children. In our effort to avoid a prideful heart, some of us go to the extreme opposite. We allow ourselves to be punching bags because we don’t value ourselves the way God intends us to.

Heavenly Father knows that we’re going to make mistakes and missteps. He knows our proclivity to injure ourselves and sometimes injure others in the process. We all have our issues, there can be no doubt about this, but we must remember what the scripture tells us. Romans 5:8(NLT) says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Jesus Christ came on the scene when humanity was at its worse, and he did so because of God’s overwhelming love for us all. So, God’s love isn’t dependent on our performance, because as soon as we get one issue resolved, another one will surely pop-up. The quest to hold up the standard of Christ is never-ending in this earth experience, but we have the wonderful pleasure of waking up each day aspiring to meet it. This is what God’s love is all about. It is understanding our potential and capacity through His love, and having the commitment to aspire to be better today than we were yesterday.

We are works in progress. As we seek God and open our hearts to Him in prayer and through His Word, Philippians 2:13 affirms that He will work in us and give us the desire and power to do the things that please Him. It’s God through Christ doing the work, not us. Our responsibility is to let Him be at work by asking Him to show us what needs to be addressed. Then we need to trust Him, as we are led and guided through the indwelling Holy Spirit to overcome and move forward.

God also has a special work for us to do. We have a calling to fulfill, because we are a destiny people. This means that we have neither the luxury or time to look at what others or doing and what is happening in their lives, but often this is what we spend our time doing. On our jobs, we’re envious of those getting promotions. We’re trying to rush God to bring that man across our paths so we can be engaged because all our other friends are married or engaged. We’re too occupied with trying to be like everyone else, when God has called us to be unique.

We may not be a social butterfly. People in a room may not light up when we enter it. Some of us have a quiet spirit, and we’re compassionate and tender in a way that is very special to God, but may not be to others. Our responsibility is to stand in the uniqueness of what we are, and what we’ve been given; because God has a purpose for it. No one can do YOU the way that you can.

Ecclesiastes 6: 10 (NLT) says, “Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny.” Your destiny is revealed moment by moment as you embrace the reality that you are wonderfully and masterfully made. You’re God’s masterpiece. There will never be another you!

We must remember at all times that the love of God is the benchmark for our every endeavor, especially when it comes to marriage. This isn’t just the love of which we invest in others. It includes the love we have for ourselves. Self-love is the appreciation we cultivate for our own uniqueness as it is used in service to others through God’s love. It is an understanding that we are ever growing and developing into the very best version of ourselves. We may not be there yet, but if we continue to trust God, we’ll get there. Our confidence in this very truth causes us to stand in the reality of our Christ-identity, and this is the person our future spouses deserve to meet. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

FindingChristianman.com copyright © 2017. All rights reserved. All done for the glory of God in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Are You Expecting Him to Bring His “A” Game?

October 15, 2017

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

A virtuous woman is a woman of great moral character. She has integrity, and her love for God through the Lord Jesus Christ is always apparent, and it is reflected in the decisions and choices she makes every day. Proverbs 31:10 (KJV) is probably the most well-known scripture regarding a virtuous woman. In this verse, King Lemuel asked, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Now, if you gathered a number of Christian women together in one place and asked those who considered themselves virtuous to raise their hands, I think it’s a pretty good bet to say that most of them would have one hand in the air. We must keep in mind that this scripture stands out in our minds because it conveys that a virtuous woman is not so easy to find. In fact, in our day and time, it is increasingly challenging to find such a woman. This is one of the reasons why God is calling on Christian women everywhere to raise up our standards.

No one can argue against the fact that we’ve allowed the standard that God brings forth in Proverbs 31 to fall. We’re hearing a lot about valuing ourselves. It includes a commitment to not be tricked into lowering our standards when it comes to the men we date. This is a good thing, but we can never escape or neglect the responsibility and accountability that is baked into the premise of expecting the best. If you expect the best, you’ve got to present the best; and presenting the best has nothing to do with the externalities of designer threads and kicks.

Expecting a man to bring his “A” game, when your game isn’t tight will translate to the definition of insanity. It’s not realistic—doesn’t make sense. It isn’t possible to live, dress, act, and behave like the majority of other women and then expect that we’re this rare-as-rubies kind of special that draws an extraordinary brother in. That’s not going to work, and the Father has made no bones about it. There must be a Christ-kind of integrity that flows through our everyday presentation. It’s not spoken, but communicated by the heart we have for God. The more committed you are to His standard, the greater impression it makes and the stronger it’s reach will be to the man that is ordained to be your husband.

There are certain characteristics that men have by nature. God created them to operate a certain kind of way, and nothing that a woman can do will change this. It rings true for women as well. There are things that we come equipped with. Our flawed thinking, feeling, and acting has crossed wires incorrectly and interfered with the way God designed unity and attraction factors to work, and this is why we are witnessing what seems at times to be an epidemic of singledom. God wants us to know that it isn’t a problem without a fix.

A fierce woman is a noble one. She has cultivated within herself honorable personal qualities of high moral principles and ideals. She may not be perfect, but her number one priority is to please God and her every intention is to walk by the example of Christ. If we didn’t have this capacity baked in our makeup as Daughters of Zion, then God wouldn’t have instructed men to look for it. He instructed men to seek this kind of woman because He’s made it available through the Lord Jesus Christ for us to BE this kind of woman.

There’s a saying that tells us when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Said another way, when the woman is ready, the man shows up. It works every time. We doubt this because many of us are not committed to the work that we must do to get our souls right with Jesus. We’re not letting the Spirit work in us the way he desires. It must be settled in our minds that a person cannot profit from zero effort. Life doesn’t operate that way. Where there is little effort, there is little profit.

When a ruby rock is cut, it is polished to the point that the star within it shines through. We don’t have to be perfect to partner, but there must be an understanding on our parts that the ruby within needs refinement, so that the light of Christ shines brighter in our lives. His example is the solution for not being single longer than we’d like to.

Jesus Christ said in John 14:12 (NLT), “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.” Through him, we’ve been uniquely qualified to love, care, share, support, nurture, calm, sooth, and minister in a way that activates unity in our relationships. We’ve all seen this with the virtuous women we’ve been privilege to have in our lives. We’ve received more than many of them could have hoped to, and our standard of Godliness must be greater and shine brighter, as we strive to be the virtuous women Heavenly Father has called us to be.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Are You Expecting Him to Bring His “A” Game?”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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His Eyes Are Always On Us

October 9, 2017

Encouragement and Inspiration

Like many of you, I had the privilege of being reared around strong Christian women. They demonstrated on a daily basis a relentless faith in God through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. They didn’t have it easy and dealt with some heavy-duty challenges. Many of them raised their children alone, at a time when child support was unheard of. I remember times when their estranged husbands would drop by every now and again. They’d make a small contribution that wouldn’t even be considered a tip for the struggles these women endured. But they were not deterred or discouraged, at least not that I could see. They kept it moving, and created for all of us a safe and loving haven. They couldn’t have done this had they not known that God’s love is real, and we can depend on it come what may.

In 2Corinthians 5:7, God tells us to walk by faith and not by sight. He doesn’t expect us to walk around with our physical eyes covered, but He’s letting us know that living based only on our five-sense knowledge will not take us where faith can. When it comes to dealing with adversity, sometimes we interpret having strength as maintaining a certain amount of control over things. We think we have to know all the facts or know what’s going to happen before we can trust. Well, God tells us to trust first! He wants us to depend on Him to lead, guide, and direct our steps. Not only must we have faith in His divine direction, but we must have faith that we will hear when He speaks.

Ephesians 3:20(NLT) tells us, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” How many times have people told us that we couldn’t do this, or couldn’t accomplish that? How often have people tried to put us down, or to influence us to quit pushing when the odds were stacked against us? We serve a God who has no barriers! His power is limitless! Our Heavenly Father is in the business of blessing His people beyond anything we could ever ask or think. He far exceeds our expectations, but you and I are not left out of the equation when it comes to this verse. God tells us that His mighty power is working on the inside of us. He wants us to know that some important spiritual work is happening deep in our souls. Even though we may not sense it, we are commanded to trust it. Our responsibility is to bring what He’s placed on the inside of us out in the open, by trusting His love and walking in it.

Hebrews 2:1 (NLT) tells us, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” When we have difficulties in life, we are sometimes tempted to tighten our rein on a situation and try to steer it our way. This is one of those old patterns that we had when we walked by sight. Again, God’s standard is that we walk by faith; there is no greater way to live. Is it always easy? No. It requires dedication, discipline, and a made-up mind. We have tremendous examples in God’s Word, and in our own lives, of people that have demonstrated that God’s way is always best.

We serve such a loving Father. He grants us grace and mercy, and He forgives us for our sins, stubbornness, and unwillingness to abandon our worries and trust faithfully in Him. Many single parents face tremendous challenges, and it can seem at times that they come from every direction. You can feel like all hope is lost when you have mouths to feed and not enough finances to take care of your obligations. The enemy wants to use these trials to zap your strength and convince you that God’s not going to handle the situation, but this is not the truth. God is working in you! To see His power flourish in us, we need to turn our thoughts and feelings to what Christ is doing, not what the devil is doing.

Hebrews 11:27(NLT) tells us,“It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible.” This is precisely what you and I must do! We can never make the mistake of drifting away from God’s truth, not when the struggle is heavy, and not for the sake of a man’s companionship. Our responsibility is to saturate our minds and hearts with God’s love, to let it be activated in us, and to let it flow through everything we impact and touch.

Psalm 95:7(NLT) assures us, “for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice today!” Don’t just seek God when your life starts to unravel, or when tragedy knocks at your door. He is our Protector, our Refuge…our Everything! This is the way we must see Him all the time. He tells us to listen to His voice, and we should never take our eyes off of Him, because we can be assured that He never takes His eyes off of us. He watches over us, and He will reward us when we place our trust in Him. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“His Eyes Are Always On Us”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Desire A Pure Heart

October 2, 2017

Devotions

Romans 12:2 (NLT)
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

I was flipping the channel one day and came across a new reality show. Typically, I pass on those, but this one caught my attention. The young men and women were on the show to find their perfect match, and were given a test called ‘Don’t judge a book by its’ cover.” The women were shown a picture of an average-looking guy who loved God and had Christian values. When asked whether any one of them would date a man like him, surprisingly, all were emphatically against the idea of being with this average-looking man who had a strong Christian background. When a more attractive man with the same values was revealed, all the women were on board with dating him.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5:8, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” The willingness of these women changed based on the appearance of the man; there was no consideration given to the kind of heart he may have had. The world has a completely different standard when it comes to what makes a quality mate. Some women are uber focused on looks, others on what’s in his wallet. Romans 12:2 (NLT) warns us not to copy the world’s patterns, but to change the way we think and model our thoughts after Christ; then God will transform us from the inside out.

You might have it settled in your mind that you want a certain type of man, but it is quite possible that the major characteristics you desire are completely opposite from what God knows you need. Any time that we place limitations on how, what, when, and where God blesses us, we are not operating out of faith, but out of fear. We have fear that God will not meet our expectations, or we fear losing control over this area of our lives.

One thing is for sure, God wants us to have hearts that are pure towards Him and His Word. When we talk about God’s Word being rooted and grounded in our lives, we’re talking about the commitment we must make to stand on God’s principles, promises, and statues. This means that we are required to change our thoughts to honor the lives of those who have hearts that are pure towards God. That’s what’s important to Him, and it should be to us as well.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“Desire A Pure Heart”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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