Finding A Christian Man

A Strong and Stable Union

February 11, 2018

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

Call me old fashion, but I still believe that adhering to the virtuous standards God has set in His Word are the absolute best chance any of us have for a successful relationship. Staples like good communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to be vulnerable are necessary, but there’s one particular standard that is an absolute must, and it is being accountable for one’s own actions.

Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears. In like manner, a person is known by the deeds they produce. He tells us in Luke 6:45(NLT), “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” The heart has storage capacity; it is the keeper of things that make us distinctive and unique. It is also the place from which you and I produce fruit. If we’ve stored up good things in our hearts, then we’ll produce good things; and if we’ve stored up evil things in our hearts, we’ll produce evil things.

It would be wonderful to say that we’re continually producing good things in our relationships, but we all know this isn’t true. Relationships with spouses and potential partners will bring out some bad fruit that we didn’t even know we had. And the thing that makes it worse is to deny culpability.

The world is unstable and it is filled with unstable people. God has equipped and called us to be different than the world. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 3:10(NLT), “Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful.” Through the Lord Jesus Christ, we are expert builders, uniquely qualified by God to build on the foundation that Jesus laid. This is exactly what a marital union is. It’s an addition to our lives that expands the foundation of Christ. It is therefore our responsibility as God’s children to keep our unions strong and stable. This is more important to Heavenly Father than it is to us.

Humility and faith create spiritual stability. They are the staples that give a relationship legs. In situations of contention, even if we don’t believe we’ve done anything wrong, if it is injurious to our partners, we must be humble enough to share blame. We may have believed the fruit to be good, but when it fell from the tree, it was not fresh. In other words, the deed may not have been intended to wound, hurt, offend, or injure; but if that was the end result, something about the way we put it out there wasn’t on point. Humility requires that we acknowledge this, and faith requires us to trust that in the end, even if the other person was at fault, God will make everything right.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Strong and Stable Union”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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What NOT to Do When the Relationship is New

February 5, 2018

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

When I was a teenager, like most kids my age, I wanted everything quick, fast, and on the double. Not only did I want my desires delivered with all due haste, this was the approach to just about everything else I did as well. I rushed through my homework, and I couldn’t wait until the hard classes were over…and my chores, forget about it! Lickety split was putting it lightly; I bulldozed through those. My grandmother would constantly tell me, “It takes time to do anything the right way!” She called my quick, half-hearted approach ‘half-doing something’, and she couldn’t stand it. I can’t count the number of times she scolded me about rushing through things and missing those important details that make all the difference. I paid no attention to those words back then, but today they are my continual motivation and the theme song of my life.

My grandmother’s wisdom is spot on with the wisdom of God’s Word. At the end of the day, everything is going to come back to us with the same energy and effort we used to put it out there. In Luke 6:38, Jesus Christ solidifies the reality that it is more of a blessing to give than to receive. He tells us that giving equals receiving, and that the amount we give will determine the amount we get back. This is mathematics at its best. God has woven this kind of order into His extraordinary laws; it’s how the universe was created by Him to function.

This is one of the reasons it is so important to comprehend that we are indeed spiritual beings, because everything that we do has a spiritual consequence. It only takes a few major disappointments to hit this one home. We can mess things up royally and miss great opportunities for love, success, and well-being because we’ve made a habit pattern of rushing things. We’ve all heard the saying that good things come to those who wait. This is more than just a saying. Again, with this reference, there’s some biblical wisdom involved.

Don’t Neglect God’s Peace
The prophet says of God in Isaiah 26:3(NLT), “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” It is no secret that the believer who trusts in God’s perfect timing will be guided by His peace. When it comes to a new relationship, the guidance of God’s peace is the only way to ensure solid footing not just for potential longevity, but for your continued spiritual well-being, regardless of how things work out.

In a new relationship, we can’t make assumptions or jump to conclusions; both can cause major disappointments in the long run. They are sure signs that we’re allowing anxiety to call the shots, and this allows the enemy room to mess things up. Again, the absolute best approach is to let the peace of God guide all your actions.

Don’t Be Impatient
Romans 5:3 tells us that tribulations give us a work-out in patience and endurance. We dislike the discomfort, heartache, and pain that come from troubling situations; as well we should. They are not sent by our Heavenly Father, but they are a part of life, and we can learn from them. Tribulations, particularly those involving past relationships, hopefully teach us to be patient and to look next time before we leap; at least that’s the lesson we should have learned.

Sisters that have been praying a while to cross paths with the right person may not be aware of their own feelings of deprivation. They may have unreasonable expectations, and these can smother a relationship in the beginning. Loving ourselves means that we will give our souls the time they need to hear from the Spirit. One of the greatest mistakes we make is to underestimate the willingness of God to help us stay on track and pace ourselves, so that we move in alignment with His divine timing. We can tell the difference between a blessing and a trick by having the patience to wait and make sure we see God at work.

Don’t Out-pace the Relationship
Again, when we start expecting too much too soon, we can out-pace a new relationship. It’s good to be a careful observer of yourself and make sure you don’t expect a commitment before the man is ready to make it. Being patient means that you’re willing to gauge yourself, and that you are watchful of the new person’s queues. Good practice is to mirror his actions in a way that is both caring and cautious.

He calls or texts; then you reciprocate, but don’t do too much. And never feel pressured to compromise Godliness to keep a man. God would not present you with a situation where you had to do this. Be prayerful continually, and listen closely for the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Peace, Patience, and Pace; honoring these will continually keep you aligned with Christ, so that you will know if the new man is a presentation from God. If he is, the Holy Spirit will continue to guide you, so that your new relationship grows. If he isn’t, you’ll have gained invaluable spiritual discernment and insight that has prepared you for the blessing that is surely on its way. ■

“What NOT to Do When the Relationship is New”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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When God Reroutes You

January 28, 2018

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

The other day, I woke up early to go pick up a new table that I’d been wanting for a while. Since it was Saturday, I figured if I got up early enough I could beat the weekend traffic to the stores. Got on the road and was making good time until I saw flashing lights on the highway. The police were informing travelers that the exit I needed to take had been closed. I would need to use an alternate route, and planned on getting off the next exit to re-route myself. What I didn’t’ realize was that traffic would come to a complete halt before I could even reach this exit. It frustrated me to no end that I was being blocked from what I wanted to do, and that what would have taken me 20 minutes, took me two-hours instead.

Unexpected delays in life can be very frustrating, but sometimes those delays are purposeful and for our good in the long run. There are times when we become so used to doing things on our own that we don’t think to slow down and ask God if we’re doing it His way. It’s not because we don’t care, but things slip by us when we’re not paying attention.

In Matthew 11:30 (KJV), Jesus Christ tells us, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” These are beautiful words from the Master’s lips, and we can become so taken by the compassion he has expressed that we neglect the practicality of the lesson he’s taught. Love’s path is smooth. It is not bumpy as many would have us to believe. It seems bumpy and uneasy because bumpy and uneasy is often the approach most of us employ in our own lives.

There are lots of individuals who don’t know what it is to struggle, but there are lots more who do. Robbing Peter to pay Paul, hustling back and forth constantly, and trying to squeeze as much out of meager resources as possible is common place for many of us. We become so used to the grind that we begin to think that God moves like we move. Heavenly Father tells us in Isaiah 55:8 (NLT), “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.”

Heavenly Father is the God of love, light, liberty, and life. He moves effortlessly, with great ease. We need to fall in alignment with how He moves, not the other way around. Sometimes, we want things that look like the best, but actually isn’t GOD’s best. We also can become too impetuous and make a move without prioritizing the things of God in the right order. When our condition is one of moving outside of His divine will and timing, He will correct us. Proverbs 3:11-12(NLT) tells us, “11 My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. 12 For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.”

God doesn’t require a lot, only that we keep Him first and love Him with all of our hearts, all of our minds, and all of our souls! It’s His good pleasure to take care of us, and we need to trust this. He wants us to have a good life and have the best of everything, but like any loving parent, He corrects those He loves. Sometimes this correction reroutes us. This is done to bring attention to the reality that we’re veering away from the path we’re supposed to be on. We will never know the extent to which He keeps us from harming ourselves through blockers and wake-up calls, and we should thank Him continually for loving us enough to correct and redirect us.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When God Reroutes You”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Dangling A Low Hanging Fruit

January 21, 2018

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

When a relationship is at a point where it’s held together by a thread, often the woman on the other end of it is holding on for dear life. The man, on the other hand, is dangling it before her. It’s a string without a meaningful commitment attached to it. At one time, he might have been all in. He thought he knew what he wanted, and at one point he probably thought it was her. She thought so too. In his heart, he knows he’s not ready to commit, but he doesn’t want this woman, whose given him so much of herself, to be with anyone else. So he’s blocking her growth, her potential, her future, and her true blessing, by keeping her dangling at the end of a string; and she’s a willing accomplice.

Trying to tell a sister that is in a relationship like this to let go of it is almost pointless. The typical response will be something along the lines of “Your heart will do what it wants to do…no matter how much you try to tell it which direction to go in, it will only let go when it’s ready.” Whenever we allow the soul to govern our decisions this way, we diminish our privilege, desire, and opportunity to be led and guided by the Spirit.

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that we can be deceived by our own hearts, because our hearts can and do at times lead us astray. Our human hearts can cause us to veer off the path that God wants us to be on. This is why He tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT), “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” God knows our futures. He knows the person that is best for the path that He has purposed and laid before us.

The reality is that many of us will hold on to less than the best, because we are fearful that we will not receive better. 1 John 4:18 (NLT) tells us, “18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” A broken heart feels very much like punishment because it hurts so badly, but we should not let the fear of this pain keep us from practicing the discipline of faith and trust in God through the Lord Jesus Christ. Our healing, blessing, and promotion will travel through the pipeline of our faith.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) tells us, “7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-control. These are those that will elevate us out of the level we’re on and transport us to the next place of growth and blessings. Power, love, and self-control must be activated. They require us to move with, in, and through them according to our faith in God’s promise that they belong to us, and we can utilize them to go higher. When it comes to what is no longer working for us, we’re going to have to give up the less useful to make room for the more useful. Moving with faith through any discomfort we might experience in this process is the empowerment of self-control and self-love; this is what paves the way for newness.

Fear and doubt are not a part of the Kingdom of God. These belong to the devil’s domain. It’s a trick of the enemy to dangle a low hanging fruit before us, because we don’t have reach and stretch to grab it. The Will of God will always require our flexibility, and faith will demand our allegiance to God’s truth. As Daughters of Zion, we must aim high so that the reach and strength of our grasp will match the wealth of the prize we seek to obtain. We must not be sidetracked from the greatness of what God has in store. Spiritual maturity calls on us to discipline ourselves to let go and press on. And when it comes to a man who is not ready to honor our worth and not willing to commit to it, this is exactly what we may have to do.■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“Dangling A Low Hanging Fruit”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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The Pay-Off of Sacrifice

January 15, 2018

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

One of the things that we learn very early in Christian life is that we can’t just do anything we like. There are disciplines to the faith, and there are sacrifices that we need to make in the present that are required for our long-term benefit. In other words, we most definitely have to deny ourselves some things that may bring us temporary pleasure. Perhaps we indulged them before we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, and maybe we’re still dabbling a bit here and there, but the temporary pleasure that these things bring will not compare to the long-term benefit we will receive if we push them away. The pay-off of the sacrifice will prove to be a blessing that will carry us from one level to the next.

Ephesians 4:20-24(ESV) tells us, “20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” This passage makes it clear that we must put off some things, and do without them, so that we can put on and gain something better. As we pursue the promise of marriage with a Godly man that will love us as Jesus Christ loves the church, we must understand that capacity must be built within us. We have to expand spiritually, and Ephesians 4:20-24 is how expansion is initiated, by putting off the less useful to make room for the more useful.

To expand spiritually, something worldly must die. This makes perfect sense. It’s one of the reasons that the sacrifice of Christ is so meaningful. 2 Corinthians 5:21 (ESV) tells us, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” Jesus Christ, who never sinned, actually became sin, so that we could be redeemed. So we understand that in order for us to gain a relationship with God, a death had to occur; and not just any death, but that of His only begotten Son. A sacrifice of pure blood had to be paid, so that we could have the righteousness of Christ and thereby have a relationship with Heavenly Father. Something tremendously precious was made a curse, and then sacrificed, so that we could grow, expand, and increase continually in Christ. This pattern of putting off and putting on was initiated by the Master.

This is so monumentally important to understand because a lot of Christians are struggling with a kid-in-a-candy-store mentality. They forget the words of Jesus Christ in Luke 12:48 when he declared that for the person who receives much, much will be required. Let’s be very clear, when it comes to the promises of God, He doesn’t promise anything and everything. This is one of the reasons God tells us to stay in His Word, so that we will know the conditions on which His promises rest.

God loves us so much, and He wants us to be fulfilled and have our desires met more than we do, but His promises rest on the foundation of our faith in Him. If we lack the faith to deny ourselves temporary pleasures for our long-term spiritual gain, then we certainly don’t have the faith to sustain a lifelong relationship. This is not meant to place anyone in self-condemnation, because self-condemnation paralyzes us, and God doesn’t want this. The right knowledge is power. God wants us to go from having no knowledge to having right knowledge, so that we are no longer ignorant in the things that pertain to His Kingdom. When we know better, we have the capacity to do better.

Psalm 37:4-5(ESV) says, “4Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.” Our delight must be in the Lord, not in the temporary pleasures that cause us to displease Him. If our believing is not strong enough to press into God this way, He’s not going to make the presentation of a spouse until we have strengthened ourselves in His Word, so that our faith is full steam ahead. This is why our prayers as singles should be to grow in faith so that we are spiritually prepared for marriage. We should be asking God to reveal the areas where our believing is weak, and help us to be strong in those areas. If we will do this, when we finally do marry, we will be able to stand back to back with our spouses and guard the union of our marriages against the weapons of the enemy. ■

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“The Pay-Off of Sacrifice”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Are You Ready to Hit the Reset Button?

January 7, 2018

Encouragement and Inspiration

The countdown is over and the New Year is here! Some of us are seriously excited, and others of us…not so much. That’s not exactly the mindset God wants us to have. If you give it some thought, you’ll see that Heavenly Father has woven a few reset buttons within our existence, and a lot of us don’t use them to their fullest advantage. We set certain limitations in our minds and hearts. Most of us are okay with a little bit of change, but seldom do we allow ourselves the luxury of imagining a total transformation not only for ourselves, but for others as well.

In Isaiah 43:13-15 The Message (MSG), Heavenly Father said, “13 Yes, I am God. I’ve always been God and I always will be God. No one can take anything from me. I make; who can unmake it?” 14-15 God, your Redeemer, The Holy of Israel, says: “Just for you, I will march on Babylon. I’ll turn the tables on the Babylonians. Instead of whooping it up, they’ll be wailing. I am God, your Holy One, Creator of Israel, your King.” In this passage, God is telling and showing them (and us) who’s BOSS! He’s our Keeper, Protector, Shield, Provider, Maker, and King! He’s our everything, and there isn’t anything that He can’t do. He’s willing and able to help us fight any battle and win. Our privilege and responsibility is to trust Him, and remove the shackles of limitations from our minds and hearts.

Lamentations 3:22-23(NLT) tells us, “22 The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” We are never too old to begin again, and God’s mercy allows us a continual fresh start. Every 24 hours God gives us a new day, and He’s been blessing us this way for longer than you and I can know. In like manner, every 365 days, He gives us a new year. Major reset there. We get to end each year by celebrating the birth of our blessed Lord and Savior. And we can also reflect, reevaluate, and unload some stuff that didn’t serve us well during the previous year.

One of the major setbacks overshadowing the reset we all desperately need is forgetting to be thankful and remembering what the holiday season is all about. It’s meant to get us to take a breath so that we can refresh and get our minds anchored in the goodness of God. Instead, many of us have allowed the world to burden us with its agenda, and the season becomes riddled with anxiety and pressure. We lose the chance to reset according to the seasons and timelines that God has allowed.

The start of the New Year is most definitely God’s wake up call to believers to leave the old behind and embark on a new chapter in life. Most people get this, and that’s why just about everyone has a New Year’s resolution that they try their best to stick to every year. Some are successful, but a lot of us kick that resolution to the curb when we find it isn’t as easy as we thought it might be.

We start off trying to take big bites, when a lot of the times we’re meant to just nibble our way through. But big chucks or small bites, in the end the whole point is that positive change is good! People are transforming themselves all the time, and Christians should have a mindset that believes transformation is possible for anyone who loves and knows Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

God has given us our marching orders in Romans 12:2. He tells us to renew our minds to the truth of His Word, so that we will be transformed through and through. If we look only at our stick-to-it-ness, and don’t factor in God’s overwhelming love, willingness, and ability to help us make changes, we might give up. We won’t believe in our own ability to change for the better, and therefore, we will also be skeptical of others; but when we trust in God’s power, we will prove what His good, acceptable, and perfect Will for us is.

Hitting the reset button in our minds and hearts gives us an opportunity to be renewed in faith, and to believe in our ability to go higher in Christ. That’s what is most important, because when we believe the best in ourselves, it will spill over into believing the best in others as well. It’s not so much about how we look or the relationships we forge; it’s about understanding that change begins in our hearts first. There must be a spiritual transformation in us, and it can only happen if we’re making time to grow and know God better.

Isaiah 43:16-21(MSG) tells us, “This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—they lie down and then can’t get up; they’re snuffed out like so many candles: “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?” How awesome is this?!!! Change is good! It’s a necessity in order to grow in any area of your life. Through the Lord Jesus Christ, God has given us a chance to keep getting better and better. In 2018, let’s be committed to hit the reset button by making positive changes. We can start with small bites like changes in our attitudes and thoughts. As we make progress on the small things, God will continue to help us with the big things. If we’re alert and present, we won’t miss it when He pulls out all the stops and makes 2018 a monumental year of growth and blessings. ■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

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‘RING’ In the New Year?

January 1, 2018

Encouragement and Inspiration

Some of the urban vernacular we hear these days is so cryptic that it could literally become a second language. Words like ‘ratchet’, ‘shade’, ‘filthy’, ‘lit’, and ‘baddie’ meant something completely different just a short time ago, but today they’ve taken on a whole new meaning. I have a feeling that ten years from now, they’ll mean something else, but there’s one term that goes way back and the meaning never changes, and it’s “ride-or-die.” It defines a sista that I happen to know personally to the tee. There are no other words in the English vocabulary that would do justice to her level of allegiance when it comes to her relationship. She’s more than hung in there for ol’ dude, and she just knew this Christmas would be the payoff she’s been waiting for.

Mia’s boyfriend came back from a long deployment in Afghanistan. They’ve been doing this dance for almost four years now, and I’ve never known a person more loyal than she is. No shade to Robert. He’s dutiful and attentive, seems to appreciate her commitment, and showers her with gifts every time he comes home. She had an inclination that he might propose during the holidays, and a few days ago, when he brought her a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box, she just knew an engagement ring was inside of it. It was empty, and she thought to herself, “Huh, another year and no ring.”

Can you imagine the disappointment? They’re the quintessential military couple. Everyone who knows them prays and roots for them to make it, but there’s a problem, and neither of them seem to be willing to face it head on. I remember a time when Mia said openly that she would never date a man over two years without a marriage commitment, yet here she is. Robert is a good man, no doubt, but the question Mia might be forced to ask herself is whether he’s the man for her.

As she recounted what happened on Christmas to her friends, she did so with a lightness and a chuckle, but the disappointment was in her eyes. It seems a very likely scenario that she will continue this posture of wait and see. Her loyalty is a given, but it has always been matched by an unabashed disposition to speak her mind and a notorious intolerance for non-sense. It’s an enigma to us that an ultimatum of some kind has never been a topic of discussion.

Mia has taken ‘ride or die’ to the limit. Continuing this track she’s chosen; will she get a ring in the new year? None of us know, but of course God does, and the best thing that she can do for her world is to ask Him. In Matthew 7:7 (NIV), Jesus Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” The only prerequisite to knowing the truth is to ask, seek, and knock. The only requirement for receiving the truth is an earnest intention to accept it once it is presented. Sometimes, we only want the truth when it is convenient to what we currently believe. When it is inconvenient, it will most certainly lead us to change and do something different. It might make us step outside our comfort zones and face a fear that we’ve harbored.

Philippians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We can come to God and present anything on our hearts before Him. We need to trust that God desires marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. Sometimes we choose a person that seems right, but isn’t right for us. Or it could be that they are only meant to be in our lives for a season. The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NIV), “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Whatever the reason for our expectations not being met, we need not have fear, but trust in the power of God to set our feet on the right course.

1 John 4:18a (NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Robert may not be the one to put a ring on Mia’s finger. That may be difficult for her to come to terms with, but to move forward she must. Robert knows what caliber of woman she is. Mia’s proven herself to be loving, committed, respectful, and tremendously resourceful. What deserving man wouldn’t be choppin’ at the bits to call someone like her ‘wifey’? I’m sure that when the dust settles and the swelling goes down, she may be able to reach this conclusion herself. If she does, it’s a sure sign that she’s ready to release the fear and reach out to grab the love of the man God has in store for her.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“’RING’ In the New Year”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Shine Bright This Holiday Season!

December 24, 2017

Encouragement and Inspiration

Matthew 5:14 (NLT)
“You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.”

Yep! We’ve officially commercialized the holidays to the nth degree. We’ve managed to turn them from celebrations of thankfulness for the goodness of God and the birth of our Lord and Savior, to being much about the hustle and bustle of shopping. But even though there’s not much time during the holidays for quiet reflection, peace, and rest; no one can argue that it’s still a very special season. For many of us it’s an opportunity to spend time with family and friends, make new memories, and to share with others.

Matthew 5:14 reminds us that we are children of light, because the light of Christ shines within us. This time of the year is special because it gives us an opportunity to really pour it on in terms of generosity and thoughtfulness. It doesn’t take a whole lot of money to demonstrate the love of God, but it does require a willingness to bring His love out in the open through kindness and compassion, so it gives light to those who desperately need to see it.

I know that I’m not the only one that has heard an unmarried person complain about spending the holidays without a significant someone in their lives. The advice of Jesus Christ for us is to get off the hamster wheel of same ol’ and do things a little different. For those desiring marriage, being single is a temporary status; enjoy it! Don’t let this season of giving and merriment be overshadowed by prevailing doubt. Occupy your mind with the spirit of thankfulness and gratitude.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 25:29(NLT), “To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.” God does not hide the truth that He’s all about expansion and increase. His Word never returns to Him void, and His love is eternal; it just keeps giving and giving. He created us to be givers like Him, and to refuse to increase our giving and sharing as we grow in Christ is to live in reverse. It’s sad to state, but many of us are in this boat.

When we’re looking to increase by uniting ourselves with another person for life, we can’t afford to lean too much on the ‘all about me’ side. That’s always going to be a problem.

A heart and spirit of thankfulness for what we have and for what we’ve been given will open the door for more of God’s goodness. Abundance and increase should be every Christians reality. And if it’s not, let’s make a greater commitment to do more for the Kingdom of God and be the bright lights He’s called us to be. Get back to God’s way of doing things. Let the Holy Spirit guide you into greater ways to give and be a blessing this Christmas holiday, and also in the New Year! ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Shine Bright This Holiday Season!”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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How Can One Be Warm Alone?

December 17, 2017

Encouragement and Inspiration

One day, my youngest daughter asked me a question that, when answered, began a myriad of other questions; not just in her mind, but mine as well. Children are so inquisitive. They are curious in a way that sometimes forces adults to think deeply about things they haven’t given much thought. “Mommy, where do babies come from?” my daughter asked. Without even thinking, I answered, “they come from mommy’s bellies.” She followed up with, “But how do they get in there?” I replied, “They come from mommy and daddy.” With her sweet voice soaked in puzzlement, she said to me, “But my friend Aisha doesn’t have a daddy.”

The initial question from my five-year old no doubt has been asked of many mothers, fathers, and teachers. Whether it is because of divorce, a broken relationship or one parent deciding not to stick around, the number of single-parent households has been on the rise since the 50s. In today’s society, there’s a large number of single parents (single mothers in particular) that are answering the call alone of being provider, nurturer, and protector to their children. It’s not an easy gig, and we spend a lot of time thinking and talking about the complexities of doing it all while being single. The risk in this is that we don’t always focus on some of the challenges our children face in a single-parent home.

One of the most common challenges stems from the hustle that a single parent must keep up in order to provide for the family. Even though the children are the highest on the parent’s list of priorities, sometimes it doesn’t feel this way to them because the parent doesn’t have the luxury of time to spare. This can add an extra layer of guilt for any single parent, but as Christians, we have God’s grace, and it literally obliterates guilt. For people that haven’t developed a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, wearing all the hats as a single parent can be overwhelming, to the point of major melt-downs for the family. This has the potential to lead to long lasting problems down the road. But when you understand and trust that God is the glue that holds all the pieces together, you begin to trust not only in your destiny as a parent, but in the destiny of your child as well.

The indwelling Holy Spirit is more than an equalizer. He takes what the enemy means for bad and turns it around for our good. He will most certainly do this for our children. As we cover them in prayer, Heavenly Father gives us the time, energy, and opportunity to minister where our children need the most attention. We are not perfect parents, but if we will allow Christ to be in the driver’s seat, he will help us beyond our expectations in the area of parenting. It is by far a spiritual relationship of trust that we must have with him, and we must allow him room to work through us as we impact the lives of our children.

Another crucial component that we must grasp very tightly and emphatically is that our children must see us as transformational rather than always being transactional. They see the grind, and put two and two together that we are hustling to put food on the table and clothes on their backs, but what about the transformational part? Are we truly being the conduits to connect our children to the God of the bible—their Creator who loves them to pieces?

I remember a time when I would ask one too many questions and would be scolded for it. Many adults have had the ‘why’ canceled out of them this way, and it is one of the reasons that we aren’t as curious as we should be regarding the things of the Kingdom. This cancelling-curiosity bug is not something we should pass on, but on the contrary, we should seek to nip it in the bud and make sure our children realize that God’s way is the way of faith, and it is extraordinary.

Heavenly Father calls upon us to be transformed by renewing our minds to His Word. This means that we are to create an atmosphere of faith that is heavy with expectancy. Children shouldn’t be made to wear a mindset of doubt that they’ve inherited from a single parent’s resentment or unbelief. They can feel a sense of hopelessness in their home environment when the parent wants to have help, wants to partner in marriage, but doesn’t have the faith that it’ll happen. Children are very perceptive, and again, a mindset of doubt shouldn’t be something we want to pass on to them. They should be given a healthy diet of hopefulness, and we’re the ones to feed it to them.

Families is what makes us stronger, and it is also what makes our children stronger; whether it is a one parent family or two. However, we cannot deny the advantages of being joined together with a loving partner. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NLT) tells us, “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Spouses make up the dynamic team that God ordained. It’s a great dream to have, and if it’s your dream as a single parent, keep it fueled with faith. It will help to create an atmosphere of hope in your home, where you and your kids are continually inspired by what the power of God will produce.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“How Can One Be Warm Alone?” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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Saying the Right Words Can Save Our Relationships

December 9, 2017

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

Proverbs 13:3 (NLT)
“Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

We can never underestimate the power of the words we speak. Proverb 13:3 is one example of how God wakes us up to the damage that can be done by what we say. It’s why I make sure to start my day by asking the Holy Spirit to help me control my tongue. This is so important to me because of past mistakes I’ve made. Those memories when I’ve hurt others unintentionally with the words I’ve spoken still stings. Especially during times of anger, I said things that hurt those I care about most. I was upset, and cutting words came out of my mouth before I could catch them. I wish I could take them back, but that’s the trap of unkind words; you can never take them back. Once they’re out of your mouth, there’s a record of them in heaven above and hell below.

I believe one of the main reasons people get stuck in life is because they haven’t learned or been taught how to use their words, or how to economize them when necessary. In our schools, teachers begin instructing students at a very early age to use their words carefully, and to be kind to one another with their language. This is a good practice of thoughtfulness, but it also conveys the intelligence of building discipline and self-control around what comes out of our mouths.

Ephesians 4:29-32 (NLT) tells us, “29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

After we receive Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside us. His presence and power within is proof positive that we are God’s children, and we have been given a recreated human spirit. The Holy Spirit lives inside our recreated human spirit, and He guides, directs, comforts, teaches, and befriends us. Verse 30 admonishes us not to bring sorrow or grief to the indwelling Holy Spirit by the way we live, but instead, we are to get rid of as much negativity in our lives as we have knowledge about. We are to replace acts and words of anger, resentment, and harshness with those of gentleness, forgiveness, and kindness. Many Christians have not disciplined themselves to do this, and one of the major reasons that they haven’t is because they don’t realize how costly it is to their spiritual lives.

Jesus Christ has told us that to whom much is given much is required. As Children of God, we are held to a much higher standard. God expects us to behave like Him. We are to have a love nature.

Our obedience to God will always be rewarded, but our rebellion against what He has told us will not. Our words and actions have consequences not just in the right now of our conditions, but also in our futures. Many marriages are corroding today because of hurtful words that were spoken years ago, they were never acknowledged as harmful by the person that spoke them. He or she never repented, and those toxic words were never forgiven by the person to whom they were spoken to. So not only is the doer of evil in trouble, but in some cases the recipient as well, because the potential to harbor hurt and resentment is present.

We need to make changes in our conduct so that our mouths do not ruin everything for us. This is good medicine for the wife, girlfriend, and the woman desiring to occupy either of those roles. Our attitudes, words, and choices really do matter. They impact our present reality, and they build the future realities we will have. Let’s learn and practice the discipline of speaking words that help and not hinder, comfort and not discourage, and give life, not death. This is the way to strengthen our relationship with God and others, as we continue to build a life of love and holiness before Him.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Saying the Right Words Can Save Our Relationships”, written by written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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