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  • Should He Trust You With His Heart?

    April 15, 2017
    Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons
    Should He Trust You With His Heart?

    A person once said that he was so hurt by a comment his ex-girlfriend made, that he never saw her in the same light again. Their relationship was decimated by her hurtful words; so much so that after she spoke them, her boyfriend was repelled by the thought of being in her company for any length of time. Proverbs 18:21(NLT) tells us “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” I realize that this may be a verse that most of us have heard numerous times, but if you’re reading this, you’re in the business of spiritually preparing for marriage. Preparation means that we need to look under the hood of scripture several times, so that the revelation of it really sinks into our brain cells.

    This is a simple and short verse, but it packs a powerful punch. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that our tongues can be weapons that not only hurt others, but they also can rob us of blessings as well. Sometimes we forget the impact of what we say and how easily offensive we can be with our words. In the case of the man I mentioned, he and his girlfriend were not having a heated argument, and she was not intentionally lashing out at him in anger. The truth of it is that she made two very distinct, harmful, and common mistakes.

    God tells us in Hebrews 10:17 that when we seek His forgiveness for our sins, He remembers them no more. Most of us are not this way. When someone does or says something to hurt our feelings, we might let it go to a certain extent, but just let a heated situation come to roost. The sting of that past hurt will spark again, and we’ll hit the replay button on that scenario with a quickness. Five years could have passed, but some of us will still bring up that scabbed over incident in an argument. The point is that people are not as quick to forget past offences as some of us think. We need to always keep this in mind, particularly when it comes to our future spouses or the important person in our lives.

    In our relationships with men, one of the common mistakes that we make is to forget that they are more sensitive than we think. Once a man lets you into his heart, he makes himself more vulnerable than perhaps he lets on. We can’t play the naïve card on this one; we’re too intuitive for that. We know when the man has made space for us in his heart, even if it’s a small one. As a Christian woman, we should be particularly sensitive to this, and it should make us more grounded in our responsibility to pay close attention to what we say.

    The other harmful mistake that sister-girl made, and again, all of us do this at some point with our words, is forgetting the lasting impression they make. Think back to a time when someone said something to you that hurt your feelings. You haven’t forgotten it. Even though you have probably forgiven the person, the sting of their words is still in the background of your consciousness, and you wouldn’t want to relive the situation. So again, words can cause irreparable damage in a relationship. As someone praying and preparing to meet the man that will ultimately be your husband, your well of sensitivity needs to be deepened now, and not later.

    As Christians, we should use our mouths to uplift and inspire those around us, and not let an untamed tongue get away from us. We can potentially make a statement to the important man in our life that can leave wounds that stick around with him for a very long time. They will often put up a valiant front on the outside, but this is just a shield.

    The last thing that you want is for the words you’ve spoken to injure your partner; it harms your relationship. So, a great preparation strategy is to pray about this sooner rather than later. God knows this very moment the man that will be your husband. Pray that Heavenly Father will prepare you by bringing any impulsive tendencies that you may have to your attention. Pray that He will help you to develop the well of sensitivity and compassion that is going to bless your future husband and inspire him to trust you with his heart. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Should He Trust You With His Heart?” written by FACM ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

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  • Once the Swelling Goes Down

    April 3, 2017
    Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons
    Once the Swelling Goes Down

    These days, plenty of folks think that it’s more important to be sensitive or compassionate than truthful. It’s a pretty difficult balancing act, and sometimes we’re in a position where we’ve hurt someone’s feelings, and we didn’t even know it. All of us, in general, simply don’t have the kind of tough skin that was common place at one time. Some people think this is a good thing, and others not so much. The one thing that rings true to a certain degree, is that women have essentially still cornered the market when it comes to sensitivity. On a whole, I’d say that we’re more likely to curb what we do and say for the sake of sparing someone’s feelings. On the other hand, our male counterparts seem to still have some significant room to grow in this area; particularly when it comes to getting a relationship off the ground or taking it to the next level.

    We’ve all heard it said that kids say the darndest things, but some would argue that their husbands or boyfriends take the cake. Most of us have imagined how tender and loving it is to hear our husbands or boyfriends say the words we’ve always wanted to hear. We rarely think about a scenario when those words are hardly ever spoken, or when they are, it’s not quite what we imagined. It can be quite a letdown. To put it bluntly, some men-folk have a difficult time expressing how they truly feel, and not only this; sometimes the craziest things come out of their mouths.

    Proverbs 27:5-6(NIV) gives us some wonderful wisdom when it comes to taking it on the chin. It says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” In other words, sometimes the person that loves you, or who would like to, might say something that stings; but their honesty and realness is more valuable than the hurt you might experience.

    I have girlfriends that have ended budding relationships because they were so deeply offended by an off-comment or a truth spoken too frank for their taste. We have to consider that when a man is uncouth in some of his mannerisms and speech, sometimes it doesn’t mean that his heart is lacking. It could mean that he’s never had someone in his life that cares enough to make him want to be his best.

    God didn’t keep it a secret that an important part of our womanhood is to be helpful to those Heavenly Father has placed in our lives. Nothing happens by happenstance; all of our acquaintances are important to our walk in Christ. We have an opportunity to leave an imprint of the Father’s love on every person that comes across our path. There can be no question in our minds that the right man will respond to the love of God that is in our hearts. And yes, there are bumps along the way, and sometimes they are significant, but we can never forget that our responsibility to be obedient to God overrides everything else.

    There’s another old saying, “They’ll be ok once the swelling goes down.” It’s one of the many southern colloquialisms that’s so to the point, you can’t help but shake your head. It’s said about a person whose feelings are hurt by a statement that just happens to be the truth. So the person will just have to deal with it, and when the soreness goes away, they’ll be just fine. We should take this in stride as we prepare for marital partnership in the future.

    Words sometimes hurt, and when hurtful words are spoken by the person we’re interested in, it’s a double whammy. We may be taken aback, but we should be mature enough to respond in love and patience. That’s always going to be what the Father expects from us. We don’t have to necessarily hide our displeasure, but we need to temper it with an understanding that all of us are works in progress. If we’ll remember the patience that the Father has had with each of us, we might find that something quite nice can develop after the swelling goes down. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

     “Once the Swelling Goes Down”, written FACM ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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  • Bone of My Bones

    March 27, 2017
    Devotions
    Bone of My Bones

    Genesis 2:23(NIV)
    “The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.””

    Adam was the first man, and our Heavenly Father gave him all dominion and authority within the earth. Adam was very intelligent, and named the species within the earth’s realm. This was no small feat. There were many living beings; those in the sky, water, and those that walked upon the earth. They all knew and kept their place within God’s creation and under the authority of Adam. God’s man was lord in the earth, and it’s not difficult to understand that keeping watch and tending to God’s creation was busy work for Adam, the first and only human being.

    We should observe, and not allow it to slip by us, that God’s intelligence cannot be measured. Surely He knew that Adam would become lonely, and instead of creating one unit, He might have made two from the very start. God didn’t do this. He is so loving and preeminent in His foreknowledge that He made sure to give us a record of His sensitivity and willingness to take care of our every need. Even though Adam had dominion over the earth, and plenty to do, he had a need. God created him with the full intent to take of this need by making two from one, at the appropriate time.

    Heavenly Father caused a great sleep to fall on Adam. He then took a rib from his side and made Adam a wife. In Genesis 2:23 (NIV), Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” Heavenly Father beautifully met Adam’s need, and did so in a way that was beyond Adam’s imagination. This is a pattern that God demonstrated for us. Taking care of our hearts and our desires is a part of His plan; it has been from the very beginning.

    “Bone from my bones” may not be the way that you and I would describe marriage in modern terms, but it conveys a unity and partnership that God created and ordained, and no better words could describe it. It is so real and meaningful that thousands of years after the first couple, all of us still feel the tug of destiny on our hearts to partner. We know that being a spouse is a beautiful part of our futures. Just as God met Adam’s need, we can have every confidence that He will do the same for us.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Bone of My Bones”,  by writers for FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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  • The Magnet of Your Love Pulls Him In

    March 19, 2017
    Devotions
    The Magnet of Your Love Pulls Him In

    Proverbs 31:10-12 (NLT)
    “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

    Just this week, all over the country folks celebrated International Women’s Day. There was literature galore about women that are trailblazers and symbolize equality for all women. This is wonderful, but we can’t take our eyes off the mark. The world has its standards, and God has His.

    Proverbs 31 is God’s standard of a virtuous woman; therefore, it should be one that men seek when looking for a wife, and it should also be the standard that women strive to meet in their own brand of womanhood.

    One of the assurances that God makes about His standard is that it will cause His goodness to manifest in our lives. He created us, and He knows what we ought to be doing in order to have the more than abundant life that Jesus Christ made available. He made us in such a way that if we allow His Word to saturate our hearts, occupy our minds, and guide us through life; blessings will flow our way.

    God doesn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t overlook details, so we can rest assured that He did not forget about the needs and desires of His daughters.  There is a plethora of good men out there, and they are looking to find good women as marital partners. The problem in today’s society is that the adversary has tricked many Godly women, and camouflaged the sweet aroma that their new creation gives off. She is saved by the blood of the lamb, but behaves in a way that cancels out the virtuous fragrance that a good man is sensitive to. So he’s not able to pick up her trail.

    God’s desire is for us to be completely sold out on His love. We are to be such faithful stewards of our spiritual gifts that our confidence in God and our love for Him behaves like a magnet. Not only does it draw out the blessings we so earnestly desire, but it causes us to be the kind of blessing that will greatly enrich our husband’s life. Devote yourself to God entirely. Become a magnet for His goodness, and He will continue to transform you into a precious ruby that your new husband will treasure.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

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  • Jewels of Truth

    March 6, 2017
    Encouragement and Inspiration
    Jewels of Truth

    gods-treasureOne of my favorites passages of scripture is Jeremiah 17:7-8(NIV). It says, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” I absolutely love this scripture, because it holds jewels of truth. The diamond of it cuts right down to the truth of what happens when we have a sold-out trust in Heavenly Father. In the past, when reading this verse, I visualized the kind of person it was referring to. What must a person go through in order to obtain this level of confidence in the Lord; the kind of confidence where God would stamp him or her with a brand of ‘fearless!”  How does one stay fresh and always hopeful? When everyone else is experiencing drought, how does this person continually bear fruit? These are questions to which you and I must seek the answers, because not only is this a pretty special person, it is God’s blueprint for the person that He desires to be your spouse.

    It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is a spectacular person by God’s standards. The truth is that we’ve seen such erosion of Godly principles in the world, that some sisters have allowed a very cynical mindset to takeover when it comes to finding the right man for them. They have been so disappointed in the past that they won’t fully trust in God’s provision in this area. This is the extraordinarily wonderful thing about Heavenly Father; He exceeds our expectations, and waits for our minds and hearts to catch up to it.

    Ephesians 3:20(KJV) tells us, “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,” Oh how I pray that you can get this into your heart. God works in the exceeding abundantly. This is His trademark, but He is also a God of consistency and order. With God, it is spirit to spirit; holiness to holiness; faith to faith. It’s not apples to oranges. It’s apples to apples. He does the exceeding abundantly ACCORDING to the exceeding abundantly that is working in us. If you are not dabbling in this particular arena, then you’re not going to see all that is available to see.

    This is why so many Christian women are disappointed in their desires. They are sometimes in the wrong place, talking to the wrong people, conversing about the wrong things; seeing the wrong things, thinking the wrong thoughts, and expecting right results. It doesn’t work this way. Faith to faith. You’ve gotta give God something to work with. Your arena has to change so that you can see a different picture—a higher picture than the one you’ve been seeing.

    The beautiful brother that is hardworking, pleasant to be around, pleasing to the eye, confident and strong, fearless, and continually energized by the power of the Holy Spirit—guess what? He’s not an abnormality in the realm of God’s treasures. He exists, and he is not in short supply. He’s a jewel of God’s truth!

    The Apostle James wrote in James 1:2-4(NIV), “2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  The spiritual lessons and preparation to become a wife may prove to be a test of your faith; it is for many single Christian women. It requires us to pull down strongholds of negativity and doubt, and to see the areas of our lives that need to be strengthened in Christ before we move forward to the blessing of matrimony.

    What happens is that some of us make the mistake of being a little bit too desperate or hasty for love. We want the prize without the prep. We want oranges to match apples; and we ignore the advice God gave us in His Word.

    Changing arenas means that we move higher to a heavenly view, where our trust in God regarding marriage is unwavering. This is what makes a person like a tree planted by the waters. It’s when your confidence is in God’s provision, and you just know that He’s going to do what He promised.

    It may seem a far distance from where you’re standing today, and if you were to look at switching lanes on your own…forget about it. Thank God that Jesus Christ is the head of our lives! He’s Lord! He knows where we’re supposed to be, when we’re supposed to be there, and how to get us there. We need to relinquish the steering wheel altogether and let perseverance finish its work. The way to do this is to press into the Holy Spirit that indwells us. John 16:13 tells us that he will guide us through Christ and tell us exactly what we need to know, so that we can tap into God’s treasures. Trust that God’s goodness never runs dry, and get yourself pumped for a change of scenery. The Holy Spirit will help you move up supernaturally, so that you begin to see all the wonderful things God has laid up for you.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Jewels of Truth”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

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  • What’s Wrong with This Picture?

    February 27, 2017
    Encouragement and Inspiration
    What’s Wrong with This Picture?

    Matthew 5:43-45 (NLT)
    “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’[a] and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies![b] Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.”

    Jesus Christ was a paradigm shifter to say the least. He started his statement in Matthew 5:43 with “you have heard…” This allows us to know that the popular teaching during the time he came on the scene was completely contradictory to the knowledge and wisdom that he laid out. How absolutely mind blowing it must have been for those listening. To think that they had made a pattern of hating their enemies and loving only those who loved them. Jesus Christ blazed a new trail by speaking of a higher, more enlightened, and spiritually intelligent way of handling enemies. He said love them, then you’ll draw a line in the sand between those that are representing God’s love and those that are not.

    It must have sounded preposterous to those who would absolutely refuse to move away from their old way of thinking and behaving. Not only did he tell them to love their enemies, but he took it a step further. He said pray for them who persecute you! What!!! Make no mistake, Jesus Christ knew exactly the uproar his revolutionary words would cause. He came to shake things up and to set a new, higher standard for living a spiritual life. You can’t do this without knocking down the error first, so that newness has a fresh place to land.

    Even though many single sisters are Christians, and have been for years, they still cling to old paradigms or patterns; some of which Jesus Christ has specifically told us to kick to the curb. We’re still complaining about how hard good men are to find, when we know from God’s Word that they are the ones to do the finding. We’re playing around with the temptations that dating often leads to, when God has called us to use our time as singles to tighten our relationship with Him. Patterns like these must be eradicated if we’re to step into a greater level of love, and thereby draw out a greater love from the one who will ultimately be our partner in life.

    Jesus Christ told us that our Heavenly Father rains down blessings on both the just and the unjust. In your mind, you might see yourself as a woman that is living right; on the other hand, you see a woman that isn’t nearly as dedicated to the faith as you are, and she’s engaged to be married. “What’s wrong with this picture?” you ask yourself. Stuff like this may have you feeling a little like those who heard the message of love that Jesus taught in Matthew 5:43-45.

    The truth is that God doesn’t love the saved person more than He loves the unsaved person. He loves all of us, which is why Jesus instructed us to love and pray for our enemies. So we can’t focus on some of the things that we see, but don’t quite understand.

    Your focus must rest in the reality that God has specifically called you out from among the world. This means that there are some things that you are required to do in order to fulfill your destiny in Christ. You can never underestimate God’s allegiance to see you become all that He has called you to be. You may see others enjoying the blessings that you desire for yourself, but you cannot be deterred. God is perfecting something in you. James 1:4 (NIV) encourages us, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

    Always remember that Jesus Christ has called us to a higher, more enlightened, spiritually intelligent way of life. Not to make us better than anyone else, but he has called us to light the path for those who have not yet beheld his glory in the way that we have. Your future husband will be all that you desire and more, but he will need you to be strong in ways that you don’t yet realize. Trust that God is grooming you to receive this tremendous blessing. Help Him to knock down those old paradigms of error that have gotten in your way. Represent God’s love always, and trust that the Holy Spirit will prepare you for what is to come as you do.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
     “What’s Wrong with This Picture?”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
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  • The Boomerang Effect

    February 6, 2017
    Devotions
    The Boomerang Effect

    Very soon, the one day of the year that we have chosen to supercharge love and put it on blast will be upon us. For some people, it is a very happy day, and for others…not so much. If it is a day that makes your blues even bluer, I have a suggestion. Why not let it be a day where you bask even more in God’s love and let the expectation of meeting someone new take your faith to a whole other level! This is absolutely doable, and it is something that single Christians should embrace. On the one hand, yep, the holiday can get super worldly and commercialized to the hilt; but on the other hand, as Christians we walk by faith and not by sight, so we can always see the light of Christ where others may not.

    All the beauty that any of us can ever offer stems from the Lily of the Valley, that bright and morning star, Jesus Christ! Because of him, we are able to offer our love to others, and have the greatest expectation that this love we offer will have a positive impact, and that it will return to us all the hope and joy in which it was given. Without the love of Christ, there really isn’t ever anything to celebrate; but with him, we have the fullness of joy.

    We are planted in this world, and we grow up with thorns all around us, but we have to be so careful that our blossoms are colorful, full, and fragrant with the sweet aroma of Christ. We can’t be dry and rough to the touch, and sometimes the bitterness of a dry patch of loneliness will do this to a woman’s heart. Instead of focusing on Christ, and allowing his love to water her soul, she might focus only on the hurt and disappointment of the past; or she might allow doubt to spring up in her heart. She might convince herself that God is not going to bless her with a wonderful partner. These kinds of thoughts and feelings keep us from abiding in the love of Christ the way that he desires.

    There’s something about the prospect of a new relationship on the horizon that can suddenly make a person feel brand new. God designed us in such a way that when we draw near to the person of our affection, we get all giddy inside as the butterflies begin to flutter in our bellies. This is how Jesus Christ feels about us. We bring to him this level of anticipation and adoration, and this is one of the reasons why God calls us the bride of Christ. In Song of Solomon 2:11-13 (NLT), we can see his heart. It says, “Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. 12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. 13 The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling!”

    You might not live in an area where the winters are brutal, but I have a little experience in that area. Let me tell you that when winter is over, and the flowers begin to spring up, many people are very thankful that the brutal cold air and harsh conditions have passed. The introduction of spring wakes up your body in an indescribable way, and you feel a tinge of something invigorating happening. A person that is pessimistic or sad might immediately squash that tinge of hopefulness and tell themselves that nothing is going to be different, but that isn’t how a Christian should respond. Jesus Christ wants us to come alive to him and the tremendous hope that he brings to our lives in every season—with every day that goes by.

    In Song of Solomon 2:11-13, we have a taste of the affection of Christ towards his bride, the church. The newness and humility of this expression can’t be lost on us. We train our minds how to think and our emotions how to feel. Heavenly Father wants us to allow the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us to retrain ourselves with the mind and heart of Christ, so that we are eager for him and all that he brings. We should breathe in his wonder, and exhale the most earnest and dear affection for him.

    The Apostle Paul affirms in Acts 17:28(NKJV), “for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’”  The meaning and fulfillment that we get out of life comes from knowing that we belong to the Father, and from matching our Lord’s example. Jesus Christ is not pessimistic and unhopeful, and we shouldn’t be either. Our groove should be in step with his, because he is always in rhythm with the Will of the Father.

    The holidays, the change of seasons, both are reminders that nothing harsh last for long, and life is truly worth celebrating. We may not feel giddy inside about a new person, but we certainly ought to feel that way about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We should choose to use the approaching day of love to celebrate our love for God in Christ through the Holy Spirit. We should also expect that as we do, at some point it’s going to boomerang back to us from a most endearing man of God. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Written by writers of FACM for FindingChristianMan.com copyright © 2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God in Jesus Christ.

     

     

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  • “Anger Labels You A Fool”

    January 29, 2017
    Devotions
    “Anger Labels You A Fool”

    Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT)
    “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”

    Relationships can be very delicate, particularly while they are in the beginning stages. It is a time when you want the person of your affection to see you in the most positive light. Many of us think very highly of ourselves. We think we’ve got it all figured out, and therefore, we want the significant person in our lives to believe this as well. The truth is that there are a great many things we haven’t figured out. There is a side to us that we haven’t yet explored.

    One of the reasons why relationships blow up is because many of us sabotage them through our own fears, and our issues with self-control and lack of trust. We explode in ways that we never imagined we would. It could be because we are insecure or jealous. It could also be because we feel trapped, but we haven’t yet admitted it to ourselves. It could be any one of several internal factors that can cause us to work against ourselves in a relationship. This is why we desperately need the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is also why we should know ourselves well enough to be able to confront and admit our trouble spots.

    The optimum situation for any two people who come together in a relationship is for them to have allowed themselves the time to mature in Christ. They need to know a bit about their strengths and weaknesses. God instructs us to be wise. Being wise is allowing God’s Word to instruct us. This is particularly true for the areas where we’re not as strong as we’d like to be or should be.

    Wisdom dictates that we become very careful observers of ourselves. In a conversation or interaction, most of us can sense when a potential for something to strike our chords the wrong way is mounting. You can feel the reaction boiling up within you. The worse thing in the world is to allow yourself to explode in anger. God warns us in Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT), “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”

    A fool is a person that acts unwisely, and uncontrolled anger makes a fool out of us. It undermines our authority in Christ, and causes us to move in reverse rather than forwardly. It can ruin a relationship and be very devastating to our lives. God’s wisdom will preserve us and help us to make sound decisions and choices. Proverbs 2:10-15 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Lady Wisdom will be your close friend, and Brother Knowledge your pleasant companion. Good Sense will scout ahead for danger, Insight will keep an eye out for you. They’ll keep you from making wrong turns,”. As we walk in the Spirit, this is what the discipline of Godliness will do for us. So be sure to pray that God helps you to work the fruit of self-control deep in your soul. Then, when you’re with the person you will ultimately marry, you can have confidence in your ability through Christ to strengthen and preserve your relationship.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     ““Anger Labels You A Fool””, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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  • Put Your Words on A Diet

    January 23, 2017
    Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons
    Put Your Words on A Diet

    John 1:1 tells us that in the beginning was the Word of God, and we know from Genesis that Heavenly Father literally spoke things into existence. This gives us some indication of how incredibly potent words can be. Our mouths are no play thing, for with them confessions are made. When we first came to Christ, God accepted us based on the earnest confession of our mouths. We had to ask for forgiveness and confess Jesus Christ as the Lord of our lives before we could be saved from a life of sin and death. The words we spoke had eternal consequences. That’s mind blowing! The light was switched on in our consciousness as our spirits were born-again and awakened to newness. All of this occurred by speaking forth words from the most earnest place in our hearts. There can be no doubt that God placed an incredible power in our tongues, and it is our responsibility to ensure that the quality and the quantity of our words is just right.

    Proverbs 18:20 (NLT) tells us, “Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.” There is so much power in the words we choose, and even more so in how we use them. When it comes to the life we have before us, some of us are dissatisfied. And it is either that we haven’t used enough of the right words, or we’ve used too many of the wrong ones. Many people have a problem with accepting this level of accountability, but that has no bearing whatsoever on the truth of this. Our confessions, the words we speak, have tremendous impact on not only the life we have, but they lay the ground work for the future to come.

    Proverbs 18:21 affirms that death and life are in the power of the tongue. When you allow yourself to take in the full breath of this truth, you begin to truly understand what it is to be a spiritual being. God has equipped us through our physicality and spirituality with an instrument of power. We can actually create an internal blueprint of intangible, intellectual reasoning called thoughts. We conjure up emotions to support those thoughts, and then through the physical manipulation of our vocal chords, we deliver tangible evidence of our thoughts externally through the apparatus of our tongues. That’s absolutely amazing! Let no one tell you differently, we were magnificently created and designed by The Almighty.

    So now we have before us the elements of a worthy and intelligent question. It is this, when it comes to our quests to be married, could it be that our thoughts and words have given our faith indigestion?

    If this is the case, then the only logical choice is to put our words on a diet. We need to cut out the saltiness and season them wisely, because God’s Word tells us that wise words satisfy like a good meal.

    This feeling of being satisfied with the fullness of life is the destiny of every single Christian woman that desires to be married. It is also the privilege and testimony of their faith to use their words, feelings, and deeds to position themselves to reap the harvest of a good husband.

    As Christians, our mouths should be used to uplift and inspire, but there are times when an untamed tongue will win.  James 3:5 (NLT) tells us, “So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6; And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.” Don’t make this a habit pattern. It is extremely vital to understand that in a relationship or marriage, if you’re not careful, using your tongue in a hurtful manner is like quick sand – it will sink any relationship. Even when you don’t mean to say them, once those hurtful words are out there, you can’t take them back. They are like boomerangs that will ultimately come around to swipe you.

    Sometimes we forget the impact of what we say and how easily offensive we can be with our words.  Be careful of what and how you say things, because words can cut deeper than any weapon. Peter 3:10 (NLT) warns, “For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”” Try the art of minimization, and let it act as your vocal filter. You’ll be amazed in the strides you make by curtailing your words, and choosing to speak life, or say nothing at all.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Put Your Words on A Diet”, written by FACM for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

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  • Always on Top and Never at the Bottom

    January 9, 2017
    Encouragement and Inspiration
    Always on Top and Never at the Bottom

    Deuteronomy 28:12-13(NLT)

    “The LORD will send rain at the proper time from his rich treasury in the heavens and will bless all the work you do. You will lend to many nations, but you will never need to borrow from them. 14 If you listen to these commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom.”

    When we are in the process of ‘going through’, it can get so bad sometimes that it feels as if we’re sinking into a bottomless pit. You know that you should be declaring that you are more than a conqueror in every situation—that God has made you the head and not the tail, but the tribulations seem insurmountable; and you can’t seem to squeeze that gusto positivity through the cracks of your circumstances. Truth be told, these are the moments that make us, because when you’re out there with your back against the wall, God is the only one that can rescue you. He’s the one holding you up.

    Sometimes, the breakthrough that we really need is the one where our faith pierces through our circumstances with a vengeance and we hang on to it like a dog with a bone. We just have to flat out trust that Heavenly Father has our backs, because if we trust Him, He will demolish the negativity that is robbing us of peace and happiness. This is what His Word tells us time and time again.

    Hebrews 2:16-18The Message (MSG) assures us of the care and love that Jesus Christ has for us, and it solidifies that he is helping us even when it doesn’t seem like it. This passages says, “16-18 It’s obvious, of course, that he didn’t go to all this trouble for angels. It was for people like us, children of Abraham. That’s why he had to enter into every detail of human life. Then, when he came before God as high priest to get rid of the people’s sins, he would have already experienced it all himself—all the pain, all the testing—and would be able to help where help was needed.”

    Jesus Christ knows everything that we’re going through down here, because he endured it all and his faith was tested by the enemy just as ours is. He’s our high priest, and he is continually making intercession for us. So, we can rest assured that Heavenly Father will keep His promises to bless all that we do and to make our way prosperous, but we must do our parts as well.

    Deuteronomy 28:12-13(NLT) tells us to obey the Lord, and to follow His Word carefully. This means that we don’t skimp when it comes to the things of God, but that we give Him our all. Whether we’re struggling with addictions, can’t seem to pray our way through, dealing with financial lack, or we’re holding on to a relationship that isn’t helping us to be our best. Whatever the case may be, in whatever shape we’re in, God wants us to give ourselves completely over to Him. It’s the intent of our hearts to surrender, and the desire to please and praise Him; that’s what causes the tides to turn. If we’ll be persistent in coming to God with this kind of mind-and-heart-set, He’ll make sure that we’ll always be on top and never at the bottom.

    Isaiah 41:13(NLT), “For I hold you by your right hand – I, the Lord our God.  And I say to you, Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.” 


    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
    Written by FACM for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!
    No comments on Always on Top and Never at the Bottom
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Finding A Christian Man

Christian Advice, Devotions, and Encouragement for Single Women

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