Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian dating

  • You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think

    You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think

    If you’re single, there are bound to be days when being without a mate seems overwhelming. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother you all that much, at least that’s what you tell yourself. But there may be moments when being without the companionship of a significant and special person in your life just breaks your heart. Heavenly Father doesn’t want anyone to be in pain, that’s why He sent his Son. 1Peter 2:24(NLT) tells us, “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.” This healing includes the feelings of hurtful disappointment, loneliness, and heartbreak. Our blessed Lord took it all to the cross with him, and because of his sacrifice, we have victory over this pain. For many of us, the work that needs to be done is to accept what Jesus Christ has accomplished. This is the piece that causes us to see his victory manifested in the relationship we’ve been praying to receive.

    Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV) tells us, “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” God’s goal is for us to bear fruit, the kind of fruit that remains and never spoils. Think about this, and you’ll see that God is interested in you bearing the fruit of marriage, and He also wants this marriage to last. He doesn’t want to see you or your spouse wavering in your commitment to one another or causing each other to resent and be bitter towards the other. No. God is not in the business of helping us to harm someone’s well-being, just as He doesn’t want someone causing harm to our well-being. He wants our faith to be at a level where we are prepared to weather any storm through the love of Christ.

    Loneliness doesn’t feel good at all, and you must know in the deepest part of your heart that God doesn’t want you to be lonely. You must also come to the realization that your spiritual growth in Jesus Christ is God’s top priority; it’s what He wants most. When we understand this clearly, the question then becomes what area in our walks with Christ requires more spiritual growth and development. The answer isn’t always apparent to us, and that is why we need to pursue God’s wisdom and guidance, and to allow the Holy Spirit to teach us.

    Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us suspended in a state of unawareness and lack when our desire is to please Him and to know more about His love. He tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge, because in fact, they reject knowledge about Him; and a curse comes not only on them because of the refusal to seek His wisdom, but on their children as well. In Proverbs 4:7, He reminds us that wisdom is the principal thing. We need to obtain it, and we also need to make sure we understand how to apply His wisdom. James 1:5(NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” How can we have faith that God will bless us with a good and Godly marital partner, and we don’t even trust that He will give us Godly wisdom that will help us achieve that goal?

    Some of us have thought patterns and negative attitudes that undermine our faith every time. We don’t see the best in God, and therefore, we don’t believe He wants the best for us. How do we view sin? Do we give ourselves permission to do what God has told us not to do? The answers to these questions are very telling, because our actions tell the story about what we believe. God has told us that if we believe His Word, we will trust it and be obedient to it. If there is an area of our lives where we haven’t put God’s Word in motion, but instead, we’re sticking to how we’ve always believed or what we want to do, our faith is not activated.

    Most of us think we know our hearts pretty well, but God knows them better than we ever could. This is a lesson for the ages: God knows our hearts. The reason it is so monumentally important for many single women to trust this wholeheartedly is because they unconsciously think they know more than God. They have felt as if they’ve had to shoulder many burdens alone. When there’s one person instead of two forging his or her way through life, a certain independence develops. Many single sisters carry this independence into their relationships with Heavenly Father. The problem with this is that God demands a child-like faith. But we think we’ve earned the right to call a spade a ‘spade’. We think we know stuff, and we become unteachable. This blocks our faith.

    So, we come to God and say, “Oh God, my heart is broken from loneliness. I want a man!” This is a position and posture many of us own, and we do so lock, stock, and barrel. We come to Him telling the Creator of the entire universe that our tank is empty, when He has already filled it to overflowing through Christ. Many of us have not once entertained the truth that when you believe your tank is empty, it isn’t possible for another human being to fill it. The problem isn’t an empty tank, but wrong thinking.  Our minds are not renewed to the reality of what we have been given. Because of the feeling of loneliness, we might begin to see ourselves as a victim rather than a victor. We must change this.

    It never occurs to many of us to come to God with an attitude that conveys we know who He is, and we know that through Christ we have all we need. Many of us have never said, “Heavenly Father, You gave Your only begotten Son for my sins. He died on the cross, his body was beaten beyond what I could imagine. He was wounded for my transgressions, bruised for my inquities, and with his wounds, I am healed from any lack, loneliness, sickness, or disease! Help me Father to increase my faith so that I walk in the healing that Your Son paid for with His life.”

    This is the truth! It’s what God’s Word says in Isaiah 53:5. Heavenly Father loves to see a mirror reflection of His glory in us. He loves it when we mirror His truth through our faith and confess it back to Him. God knows your heart better than you know it, and He wants to lift you higher and fulfill your desires. Let your confessions line up with God’s Word. Don’t let doubt and unbelief mold you into a person with patterns that undermine your spiritual growth. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and God will partner with your faith as you prove that He is good, perfect, and always willing to bless you. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single

    God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single

    I read a study this week that said that single people between the ages of 21-34 are still struggling to find what they consider a compatible partner. For many of them, living together is a more common option than marriage and it’s becoming increasingly prevalent. These studies suggest that those women who do marry typically find their marital partners at the age of 25, and men around the age of 28. These are moving targets of course, particularly with the climbing divorce rates, which might mean that some of these young marriages are not lasting long. Finding love seems to get harder for those that are older and single. It’s common for many older men to prefer a living-together arrangement, and most older women prefer marriage. As you can see, the statistics don’t paint the rosiest of pictures, but this is often the case when faith in God’s provision is left out of the equation.

    Not only have many people conveniently forgotten God’s standard when it comes to marriage, but it appears they’ve decided that He needs some help in this area. And we know that’s not the case. So, in the interest of addressing some of the attitudes and opinions about how God’s Word applies to modern relationships, I decided to bring this up as I conversed with a group of Christian sisters who were willing to share their opinions. One of them believed that many singles today are very career-minded and desire to focus on establishing themselves financially before thinking about a spouse. Someone added that this is also a time when people opt for physical connections without any commitment ties.

    Some, but not all, of the women I spoke to that are believers were committed to God’s Word and only want to be with the man that God has ordained for their lives. Others were candid about the complexity of maintaining the relationships they’re in and trying to do it without physical intimacy. They feel guilty, but don’t want to be without the companionship of the person they care about; so, they have given in to temptation, and feel it helps to preserve the relationship despite what God’s Word says.

    We can’t be surprised that some of our greatest temptations will show up in our significant relationships, because the devil wants us to be one of the negative statistics; and he wants us to make choices that prioritize other people and things over God. This grieves the Holy Spirit, and in the long run, it will devastate our lives.

    A temptation is a presentation of a choice. God taught us this in Genesis. Adam and Eve were presented with a tempting choice by the devil. They didn’t have to disobey God, but they did it because they chose to believe the devil’s word over God’s Word. This behavior is rampant in the world we live in, even among believers. We are still tempted by the devil to make decisions that signify we believe the opposite of what God’s Word tells us. No, we’re not perfect. We’re going to make mistakes. We make poor choices and bad decisions sometimes, but Heavenly Father wants us to stop and think about what we’re doing. He wants us to make the process of “think before you act” a habit, so we don’t ruin the future that He desires to give us.

    We make hundreds of decisions any given day. Some of great significance and some not so much. But when it comes to partnership and joining ourselves to another intimately, that’s a very significant decision, and it has a very significant impact on our lives. It is most certainly the truth that God will forgive us for all our sins. 1John 1:9(NLT) tells us, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” God throws our sins as far as the east is from the west, and He remembers them no more. But here’s the thing we’ve got to know, His forgiveness does not mean there will not be consequences for our poor choices and bad decisions. For every action there will be a reaction. That is law, and we cannot change it.

    One of the reasons that the statistics for singles are troubling is because of the consequences for ignoring God’s Word and not obeying it. Our Heavenly Father cares about us and He cares about our happiness. He knows the challenges we face when it comes to patiently waiting for the right person, but we can’t think that our way is better for us than God’s way. Through Jesus Christ, God has given us a way to overcome the challenges of being single. In John 14:6(KJV), Jesus Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” He’s the pathway to the Father. All the spiritual blessings of peace, joy, unity, love, and righteousness come through him.

    Whether or not we believe this, and the extent to which we believe it, will always be tested by the devil. Many of us have terrific lip service. We praise, we sing, we confess, but in our hearts, do we believe that God’s truth will set us free? Do we believe that following God’s Word will bring us the life we desire? If we believe it, our actions will back-up our beliefs. If we don’t believe it, we will follow our own way instead of following God’s way.

    Each of us has choices. What path are we going to walk? Because we can’t walk a different path from the one Jesus Christ made available and expect to receive what’s on his path. Understand that the choices you make now are building your tomorrow and your future. In Matthew 4:4(NKJV), Jesus Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, and he faced each temptation and overcame it by telling the devil, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Living God’s Word and obeying it gives us access to God’s rewards, because His Word is life to us, and we are always and forever better off when we trust and obey God’s Word.

    Heavenly Father has more concern for our care than we do. In turn, He asks us to be more concerned about His Will than we do about anything else. He is our sufficiency. He will take care of all our needs.

    Jesus Christ provided a way for us to get out of sin so we can escape the consequences of it. He paid the ultimate price of dying on the cross for our transgressions. When we know this in the deepest part of our hearts, we will know that steering clear of sin is the way to win and not lose. Losing is falling for the devil’s tricks and temptations. Think about your decisions and choices long and hard. Always pray to God and ask for direction. Be confident that if you follow the pathway that Jesus Christ has given us, it will lead you to a marriage of peace, joy, unity, longevity, and love. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Should You Pursue A Man?

    Should You Pursue A Man?

    Whether or not a woman should pursue a man is a question that many women have been asking a long time. I’ve had this conversation with a few of my friends, and one of them was very adamant about her approach. She was divorced a few years ago and has loved being single. Admittedly, she’d like to marry again one day, but until it happens, she believes a woman has the responsibility of making things happen for herself. Known for her brazenness, it was no surprise to hear her say that she’s not one to wait on the man to make the first move. She said, “God gave you the ability to know what fits your needs, so if you see something you like, go for it.”

    There are really two important troubled spots that we want to avoid in relationships with the significant people in our lives. One of them is heartache, and the other is a collision that lands you outside of God’s Will for your life. Both can send you catastrophically down the wrong path, where you could potentially spend the rest of your life paying for mistakes that could have been avoided.

    Romans 8:29-30(NLT) says, “29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.” Look at God’s thoughts about us, and the wonderful plan He laid out for our lives. Long before we were born, He already knew all there is to know about us. We didn’t choose Him first, He chose us first, and He called us to come to Him. God didn’t leave our destinies to chance. He launched them further back in time than we can imagine. This is the framework that He has ordained for how we should approach our life’s journey. Everything about our lives should line up with His plan.

    God has been gracious beyond what any of us could ever deserve, and He’s given us many blessings, but He didn’t give us the faith of Jesus Christ to promote our own agendas. He gave it to us to promote His agenda. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. So, if we leave our destinies up to our own ability to know what fits our needs, we could end up in a destination that takes us outside of God’s Word. That’s a dangerous place to be.

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8(NLT), “For your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” There are two very important keys in the truth Jesus Christ teaches us in Matthew 6:8, and we can never afford to forget them. Number one, our Heavenly Father knows exactly what we need, and number two, He’s the One to ask when it comes to fulfilling every need that we perceive. We don’t just run off trying to fulfill them ourselves. The Apostle Paul said in 2Corinthians 3:5(NLT), “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”

    God’s Word is not old fashioned. It’s life! Thank Heavenly Father for His Word and the order He has given us so we can live an abundant life. Partnering is too important to leave to chance. Someone who looks right might be the biggest trick of the devil we could imagine; they could wreak total havoc on our lives. Pursuing a man just because he seems right, without having direction from God, might be society’s preferred way, but it can never be the way for a follower of Jesus Christ. We must always remember that when it comes to dating, there’s only one rule book and only one right way, it’s the Word of God. Pursue the Word, and the right man will pursue you.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “Should You Pursue A Man?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Six Degrees of Separation

    Six Degrees of Separation

    There is an idea, you may have heard of it, called six degrees of separation. It’s a theory that we’re all inter-connected, and that within a pool of random strangers, no one would be more than six individuals from someone they either know or knows them. It’s an interesting concept and at times you might see it play out in your own life. You might have had a conversation with someone you’ve just met and it turns out you have a mutual friend or acquaintance. There are all kinds of coincidences like this in life, but there are certain things, like our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ, that we can never leave to chance. It is such a critical issue facing many singles right now, because it’s possible they are six degrees away from separating themselves from the relationship with God that He has destined them to have.

    If asked, most individuals who believe in Heavenly Father have something that they’ve been specifically praying about. It’s a blessing they would really like to see come to past in their lives. Whether it is a health challenge, mending a relationship, a financial blessing, or meeting their future spouses, just about everyone has a gap, and they are waiting for Heavenly Father to fill it. He never withholds blessings from us. As spiritually mature Christians, He expects us to understand that what separates us from our blessings is an opportunity for connection. God Blesses us through people in many cases. They come from being at the right place at the right time, and connecting with the right person.

    God also wants us to understand that His love must be rooted and grounded in our hearts, because a heart filled with God’s love causes the most beautiful blessings to flow our way. Many of us are so incredibly close to receiving what we’ve waited so long for. We’re six connections away from the person that will lead us to what we seek. This season is so consequential because we’re also six connections away from being tricked into turning our backs on the life God has planned for us.

    Many of us haven’t recognized how incredibly important it is that we get fully persuaded in faith and cling to Jesus Christ with everything that is in us. We allow ourselves to think and believe that we have more time, but that’s a dangerous posture to take. Luke 13:23-27(NLT) tells us, “23 Someone asked him, “Lord, will only a few be saved?” He replied, 24 “Work hard to enter the narrow door to God’s Kingdom, for many will try to enter but will fail. 25 When the master of the house has locked the door, it will be too late. You will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Lord, open the door for us!’ But he will reply, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’ 26 Then you will say, ‘But we ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.’ 27 And he will reply, ‘I tell you, I don’t know you or where you come from. Get away from me, all you who do evil.’”

    So much is at stake, and we’re so close to breaking through, but it is so easy to think that we’re flowing with God, when actually we’re budding heads against His plan. We’re not anchored in purpose, but more concerned about satisfying ourselves. I can tell you that I would hate to live a life where anything would keep me separated from having a closer and more intimate relationship with Him. When it comes to pleasing Him, I want to be number one in my Lord’s eyes, and if this isn’t how you feel, if something is more important to you than honoring and pleasing God through the Lord Jesus Christ, then it’s time to pray a different prayer.

    It’s not enough to have the Christian lingo down pat, the love of Christ must be rooted down deep in us. There are many sisters praying that God will bless them with a husband, but their hearts are far from God. Heavenly Father is so incredibly loving and kind, but He cannot be fooled, and He will not bend His Word and Will to our refusal to put on love and faith. God rewards diligence. He rewards our desire and commitment to line up with His Word. Six degrees of separation may be just a myth, but it certainly conveys the truth of how close we are to the blessing we seek at any point in time, IF our souls are right with God.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Six Degrees of Separation”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!