If you’re single, there are bound to be days when being without a mate seems overwhelming. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother you all that much, at least that’s what you tell yourself. But there may be moments when being without the companionship of a significant and special person in your life just breaks your heart. Heavenly Father doesn’t want anyone to be in pain, that’s why He sent his Son. 1Peter 2:24(NLT) tells us, “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.” This healing includes the feelings of hurtful disappointment, loneliness, and heartbreak. Our blessed Lord took it all to the cross with him, and because of his sacrifice, we have victory over this pain. For many of us, the work that needs to be done is to accept what Jesus Christ has accomplished. This is the piece that causes us to see his victory manifested in the relationship we’ve been praying to receive.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV) tells us, “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” God’s goal is for us to bear fruit, the kind of fruit that remains and never spoils. Think about this, and you’ll see that God is interested in you bearing the fruit of marriage, and He also wants this marriage to last. He doesn’t want to see you or your spouse wavering in your commitment to one another or causing each other to resent and be bitter towards the other. No. God is not in the business of helping us to harm someone’s well-being, just as He doesn’t want someone causing harm to our well-being. He wants our faith to be at a level where we are prepared to weather any storm through the love of Christ.
Loneliness doesn’t feel good at all, and you must know in the deepest part of your heart that God doesn’t want you to be lonely. You must also come to the realization that your spiritual growth in Jesus Christ is God’s top priority; it’s what He wants most. When we understand this clearly, the question then becomes what area in our walks with Christ requires more spiritual growth and development. The answer isn’t always apparent to us, and that is why we need to pursue God’s wisdom and guidance, and to allow the Holy Spirit to teach us.
Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us suspended in a state of unawareness and lack when our desire is to please Him and to know more about His love. He tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge, because in fact, they reject knowledge about Him; and a curse comes not only on them because of the refusal to seek His wisdom, but on their children as well. In Proverbs 4:7, He reminds us that wisdom is the principal thing. We need to obtain it, and we also need to make sure we understand how to apply His wisdom. James 1:5(NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” How can we have faith that God will bless us with a good and Godly marital partner, and we don’t even trust that He will give us Godly wisdom that will help us achieve that goal?
Some of us have thought patterns and negative attitudes that undermine our faith every time. We don’t see the best in God, and therefore, we don’t believe He wants the best for us. How do we view sin? Do we give ourselves permission to do what God has told us not to do? The answers to these questions are very telling, because our actions tell the story about what we believe. God has told us that if we believe His Word, we will trust it and be obedient to it. If there is an area of our lives where we haven’t put God’s Word in motion, but instead, we’re sticking to how we’ve always believed or what we want to do, our faith is not activated.
Most of us think we know our hearts pretty well, but God knows them better than we ever could. This is a lesson for the ages: God knows our hearts. The reason it is so monumentally important for many single women to trust this wholeheartedly is because they unconsciously think they know more than God. They have felt as if they’ve had to shoulder many burdens alone. When there’s one person instead of two forging his or her way through life, a certain independence develops. Many single sisters carry this independence into their relationships with Heavenly Father. The problem with this is that God demands a child-like faith. But we think we’ve earned the right to call a spade a ‘spade’. We think we know stuff, and we become unteachable. This blocks our faith.
So, we come to God and say, “Oh God, my heart is broken from loneliness. I want a man!” This is a position and posture many of us own, and we do so lock, stock, and barrel. We come to Him telling the Creator of the entire universe that our tank is empty, when He has already filled it to overflowing through Christ. Many of us have not once entertained the truth that when you believe your tank is empty, it isn’t possible for another human being to fill it. The problem isn’t an empty tank, but wrong thinking. Our minds are not renewed to the reality of what we have been given. Because of the feeling of loneliness, we might begin to see ourselves as a victim rather than a victor. We must change this.
It never occurs to many of us to come to God with an attitude that conveys we know who He is, and we know that through Christ we have all we need. Many of us have never said, “Heavenly Father, You gave Your only begotten Son for my sins. He died on the cross, his body was beaten beyond what I could imagine. He was wounded for my transgressions, bruised for my inquities, and with his wounds, I am healed from any lack, loneliness, sickness, or disease! Help me Father to increase my faith so that I walk in the healing that Your Son paid for with His life.”
This is the truth! It’s what God’s Word says in Isaiah 53:5. Heavenly Father loves to see a mirror reflection of His glory in us. He loves it when we mirror His truth through our faith and confess it back to Him. God knows your heart better than you know it, and He wants to lift you higher and fulfill your desires. Let your confessions line up with God’s Word. Don’t let doubt and unbelief mold you into a person with patterns that undermine your spiritual growth. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and God will partner with your faith as you prove that He is good, perfect, and always willing to bless you. ■
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
One thought on “You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think”
This. This. This. I needed this. As you mentioned, I go back-and-forth between seasons of feeling content in my singleness and seasons of feeling down. Over the past couple of days, it’s been the latter. This post really encouraged me and I thank you for that. My favorite part was when you said, “when you believe your tank is empty, it isn’t possible for another human being to fill it.“ This really hit home because it feels like a message the Lord has been trying to tell me. I continuously believe that when I’m in a relationship I will have my best friend, I will be filled with joy, I will be more independent, life will change, etc. I’m putting my hope in having a happy life in a human being rather than trusting that God can and will do those things for me. God bless.