Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Women Ministry

  • Oops! Did I Say That?

    Oops! Did I Say That?

    Proverbs 18:21(NLT) tells us “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” In my opinion, the heft and impact of this truth is grossly overlooked, particularly by those of us desiring to partner in marriage. Like many of you, I’ve read and heard it many times, and it reminds me continually to play close attention to the words I speak. This verse also reminds me of an incident that occurred when I dated someone in my early twenties. He made it very clear how much he cared for me, and while we were on a date one evening, he asked me how I felt about him. I hadn’t yet learned the economy of words or how to filter them through the love of God. If it came to my mind, often it flew from my lips without careful thought. So, when the young man asked me this question, immediately what came out was “You don’t know how to handle me yet.” Even today, I marvel at how immature a statement that was. I chalk it up to youthful arrogance and ignorance.

    Needless to say, Proverbs 18:21 hadn’t been rooted in my mind and heart at all in my twenties. Spiritually preparing for marriage means that when the right question is asked, we don’t have to look back to an “oops!” moment, but we respond with the right answer. It’s an answer motivated from a heart that is ripe with the love of Christ. Preparation means that we need to study scripture several times to make sure we understand it; so that the revelation of it really sinks in.

    Although Proverbs 18:21 is a simple and short verse, it packs a powerful punch. Our tongues can be weapons that not only hurt others but block our blessings as well. We sometimes forget how easily offensive our words can be. They have the potential to create things or destroy them. And because as women we tend to be more in touch with our emotions, we are also sometimes better at weaponizing this skill for our own purposes. We must be extremely cautious about this—of letting our emotions guide our tongues towards the business of sowing seeds of anger and destruction.

    Just as we have certain characteristics and qualities that are baked in, our male counterparts do as well. They were appointed by God to be protectors and providers for their families, and they are instructed by God in Ephesians 5:25 to love their wives as Christ loves the church. We can see that this is a mix of being very strong on one hand, and very tender on the other. As women of God, we are obligated to handle both with care.

    It is not easy for anyone to be vulnerable with their emotions, but we should be able to appreciate that this can be especially challenging for many men. Quite naturally we must be prepared for the reality that when a man makes his heart vulnerable, we must respond with an increased sensitivity in how we use our words. This becomes even more important when there are disagreements in the relationship.

    The wisdom of Proverbs 21:19(NLT) says, “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.” I know the sting of loneliness. It is indeed a desert, and I couldn’t tolerate even a hint of a possibility that my future husband would be better off there than with me. So, over the years, I committed myself to learn to use my words to build and uplift rather than tearing down. I would love to say that there was no cost to growing spiritually in this area, but that wouldn’t be true. There were steep and challenging circumstances I endured. It was all because I failed to heed God’s instruction and to practice wisdom and economy when it comes to my mouth. I knew that I needed to spiritually grow in this area, not just because I wanted to be a Godly wife, but because I wanted to be my best for God and the agenda of His Kingdom.

    When our tongues are undisciplined, we’ll find ourselves repeatedly and regretfully asking “Oops! Did I say that?” It’s a question we’ll ask way more than we’d like, because even we are surprised by what comes out of our mouths. We have a responsibility to trade in this habit as we train ourselves to think and speak words that are pleasing to God. The last thing any of us should ever want to do is injure and hurt with our words. Let’s pray for guidance in this area. I encourage you to ask the Lord to teach you to be more sensitive in your speech and conversation. Then you will be poised to speak life into your husband and family, and in so doing, you will partner with the Lord to help preserve the unity and strength of your marriage. ■

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Oops! Did I Say That?“ written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God’s Seal of Approval

    God’s Seal of Approval

    It really breaks my heart to see someone accept less than what they should in relationships. It has absolutely nothing to do with pride but everything to do with what God’s Word declares for His children. God blesses His Word in an undeniable way, and whenever we believe and trust it, His promises can’t help but come to pass. The question facing many of us today is are we truly hungry for God’s Word. Are we hungry for the love and truth that is contained in a relationship with Him through the Lord Jesus Christ? This is such a pivotal question because if at the seat of our hearts, we only want the husband, God knows this; for nothing is hidden from Him. It’s incredibly important to examine our hearts and make sure a seal of approval from God is what we’re after, because this is the fountain from which all His blessings overflow.

    In John 6:26-27(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, you want to be with me because I fed you, not because you understood the miraculous signs. But don’t be so concerned about perishable things like food. Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that the Son of Man can give you. For God the Father has given me the seal of his approval.” Jesus Christ understood that nothing in life is more important than pleasing God. He tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first in all that we do. This is the way to secure the kind of rich and satisfying life that Jesus made available. It’s to pray to God to help us live according to what He says in His Word. We can’t do it on our own, but through the Spirit of Christ that lives within, we can be and do all that God has purposed.

    We don’t have time to waste by being consumed with things that are here today and gone tomorrow. We should want to spend our time on eternal matters. This means that we have to be careful about our actions and decisions. It’s sometimes challenging for us because no one likes to feel hopeless or powerless. We want to feel like we’re in control of our lives. When it comes to the crowd that followed Jesus in this record in John 6, I’m sure some of them felt disenfranchised and disappointed in life. They wanted to stop feeling this way. They wanted access to the power that Jesus Christ demonstrated and spoke about, and they asked him how to get it. John 6:29(NLT) says, “Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.””

    Jesus Christ is the bread of life! As human beings, we know thirst, and we know hunger. Being hungry signals the brain that the body is lacking or is deficient, because it doesn’t have what it needs. Food is one of life’s most basic necessities, and every human knows how important it is. As we come to a spiritual understanding about Jesus Christ, we must know that our Father created life to need more than the nourishment that comes from food. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 4:4(NKJV), “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ” We need God’s Word to live life in all its fullness.

    When a beloved sister has been praying to cross paths with her husband for a long time, she may feel hopeless and powerless to change her situation, but here’s the reality: it’s not her responsibility to change it. Philippians 4:19 (NLT) declares, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” It is God who supplies our needs. Our goal should be to move anything that keeps us from pleasing Him out of the way.

    God blesses His Word and all who believe and trust in it. His Word never goes out without accomplishing the thing for which He sent it. Our Heavenly Father’s timing is perfect and Romans 5:5 affirms that the hope we have in Christ will not lead to disappointment. So, you are not asked to have faith in your own ability to supply your needs, because you can’t. From the least to the greatest, everything that you and I enjoy comes from God, and we have it only because He allowed it. You must trust that God has elevated His Word above His name and He will always back His Word. He’s faithful to it. Your responsibility is to be patient, to be obedient to God’s Word, and to trust Him with your whole heart, no matter what. This is what it takes to receive God’s seal of approval, and it is worth more than life itself. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Seal of Approval” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Come into God’s Light

    Come into God’s Light

    There are a ton of single women that desire marriage and believe in the accomplished work of Jesus Christ, but they don’t or won’t apply spiritual principles to their marital quest. They don’t believe God has specifically ordained someone to walk with them through the journey of life. They’re not particularly interested in finding out about their purpose, and they haven’t consulted God about what they’re doing to harm or impede their quest. Their approach is one of taking the reins into their own hands. For instance, this woman may come across someone that ignites a certain spark within her. She also piques his interest, and she takes this as her queue to jump in with both feet. In this scenario, SHE made the choice, and then asked God to bless it. What happens next is a toss-up between utter devastation and second best. Both are beneath the privilege of a child of God.

    In John 10:10(NKJV), Jesus Christ tells us, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” There are two exponentially important components to the truth our Master speaks in this verse. The first thing he does is let us know that there is a relentless dastardly thief in the earth, and he is the devil. The mission of the devil is to steal, kill, and destroy. We need only look at what is happening in the world today to see his evil intent and realize that he will stop at nothing to reap death and darkness in the earth.

    Unity is something satan fears, and he wants to squash it wherever he can. One of the reasons for this is because Jesus Christ has declared in Matthew 18:20 that wherever two or three are gathered in His name, He is in the midst of them. There is power where two are connected in their desire and commitment to honor God through Christ, and the devil does not want this power to manifest. It is one of the chief reasons he attacks marriages—to cancel out any chance of unity among spouses and families.

    The enemy knows our weaknesses and how deep our desire for marriage is. Jesus Christ did not keep us in the dark about the devil’s tricks. Our blessed Savior didn’t tell us about the plots of the enemy so we would cower in fear somewhere in a corner. He told us so that we would mount up with faith and arm our quest and future relationship in his authority. We must guard our hearts with God’s love. If we don’t, we won’t recognize the difference between a trick and a blessing.

    We must remember that guarding our hearts involves being careful NOT to make emotional connections with someone who hates the light. John 3:20-21(NLT)“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.” When people are intent on staying hidden in an evil nature, they don’t want this exposed. We may not perceive them as harmful, but one day down the road, they will show us what lies beneath the surface and it will be horrible. God wants to protect us from this, and He does it by guiding our desire and quest for marriage. As we seek His counsel on every decision and choice, He will keep our feet from falling into satan’s plot. He’ll prevent us from being tricked into entertaining a demon spirit rather than an angel spirit.

    Just because a man is nice doesn’t mean that he’s of God. Even believers that have been on this journey in Christ for a while can be deceived. Discernment comes from God. He communicates information to the Holy Spirit within us, and the Holy Spirit communicates this information to our human-spirit. This is the communication system God has created. Our arrogance, impatience, pride, and refusal to pay attention to the Holy Spirit will block this information. This is how we lose the ability to discern.

    1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.”  We are children of God’s light. When you love the Lord, and carry His love in your heart, it will attract light to you and dispel the darkness around you. Through his example and the multitudes that followed him, Jesus Christ showed us that the light also brings out the haters—those who do evil and hate the light, because they allow themselves to be used by the devil. You may ask, “How do I know if they hate the light?” Jesus Christ told us Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears. Pray that the Lord will open your eyes to the person’s fruit.

    We won’t recognize light in another person if we’re not walking in it ourselves. Our Lord and Savior didn’t mince words when it comes to light and darkness. There’s a difference between the two, and knowledge of the distinction impacts where we’ll spend eternity. Recognize that the consequences of being invested in a child of darkness are very painful and can potentially influence the rest of your life. God doesn’t want you to be hurt this way. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to the earth to make a more than abundant life available to you, and you can have it if you walk by the Spirit.

    Reach out and grab what’s yours by letting your decisions and choices regarding who and how to develop a relationship be guided by God. He already knows the person that will fit into the destiny and plan He has for your life. Bring your desire into the light of His wisdom and let your faith in Him rest in the reality that He will not fail. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “Come into God’s Light” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • A Big Dose of Truth

    A Big Dose of Truth

    1Corinthians 10:26(NLT) declares, “For “the earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it.” All that we are and all that we could ever hope to be is because of our Creator. We owe God our lives, and every breath that we breathe is only possible because of His amazing grace. He made the air and everything else that is necessary for our living. Most of us are aware of our Heavenly Father’s unyielding generosity, yet many of us still do not have an acceptable level of gratitude that goes hand in hand with this awareness. It is very possible, and often reality, that we receive gifts, and we are not deeply thankful for them. The practice of being deeply grateful for gifts is an important awareness. It’s especially important for those praying to meet their future marital partners because it reveals what Heavenly Father requires. Many of us are praying for a Godly partner that will love and honor us, however, we haven’t given much thought to how we will continually demonstrate our gratitude to God for such a gift.

    As believers in Jesus Christ, we are called by God to live consistent with who He’s made us in Christ. Heavenly Father has designed life in such a way that the closer we are to the example of Christ, the more rewards we will receive. Life does not open doors for you and me unless we have the key. Jesus tells us in Matthew 16:19 that actively pursuing and walking in his example is the key. It allows us to loose things and bind them up both in heaven and in the earth. In other words, Jesus has provided everything we need to open doors that lead to treasures, but every time we do something against the Will of God—every time we engage behaviors and attitudes outside his example, we move ourselves further away from the door.

    Romans 8:1(NLT) tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Our Heavenly Father isn’t trying to make us feel bad, nor does He want us continually being down on ourselves. He wants the absolute best for us. He doesn’t want us to fall into the trap of sin and then not understand how we landed there. Through His Spirit, the scriptures, and through those that have been speaking and teaching His Word, Heavenly Father has warned us about sin and its consequences. Yet, many of us have chosen to ignore His warning and we’ve stepped outside His Will. He doesn’t punish us for doing this, but there is a consequence, nonetheless. Every action has a consequence, and sometimes it comes with a pretty big price.

    Again, we owe God everything, and the question we must ask is how we’re going to demonstrate that we understand this truth. We can actually say words that communicate we’re thankful to Him, but words mean very little without the action to back them up. There must be some evidence of our gratitude. God is looking for something in the way we live that proves our commitment to His Word. He tells us in Romans 12:1 to present our bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to Him, because this is the least we can do for all He’s done for us. To get a visual of what He’s requiring in Romans 12:1, we first need to recall the relationships we’ve had in the past, and how we responded to the pressure to do things we knew were not Godly. We must remember the attitudes and emotions we displayed, and then be courageous enough to measure how far they were from the example of Christ.

    We can never repay God for all He’s done, and He isn’t asking us to. What He wants is for us to present ourselves to Him so that He can help us to transform. He wants to have His way with those attitudes and behaviors that are working against us. In order to show our gratitude to God, we must have faith that He is indeed a Rewarder. We must trust that if we offer our whole beings, He will accept them and do a work within us through Jesus Christ.

    The treasure of marriage isn’t being withheld from anyone. The consequences of sinful actions move us away from the Father’s Will, and they also move us away from what we desire most. This is a big dose of truth and many single folks are not ready to accept it, but this is the wrong attitude. There is tremendous hope and reward linked with God’s correction when we accept it. Heavenly Father is a God of love. 1John 4:19(NLT), tells us, “We love each other because he loved us first.” God wrote the book on love, not us. He is the One that has set the patterns for how love behaves.

    There must be a willingness on our part to stop doing the things that displease Him. Instead, we must come to God in total humility and ask Him to order our steps according to His Will. His love lifts us up, and we must trust this with our whole hearts, because trusting in His love moves us closer to the example of Christ.

    Heavenly Father delights in rewarding His children, but we must continually give Him something to reward. Our commitment to walk in the love of Christ must be demonstrated now, through our willingness to put our love for God above the temptation of sin. It’s not about the kind of perfume or the clothes we wear. It’s the love of Christ that wins people’s hearts. This is how we demonstrate our gratitude to God, by our obedience to the example of Christ. When we prove that we are able to love a spouse from a place of spiritual maturity and obedience to God, the right door will appear. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Big Dose of Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Pray for All People

    Pray for All People

    None of us could have predicted such a time as what we’re facing, but it’s here. As with any challenge, this season is a reminder of how delicate and fragile life is. Circumstances and situations reveal that we are definitely not in control, and if there’s anyone that thought they could live without God’s grace and mercy, they are experiencing a wake-up call like no other. Through God’s Word, and through His Spirit as well as many truth speakers, God has warned us to get our houses in order. Now is the time to take a good hard look at where we are spiritually, so that we don’t have an existence marked by ungodliness and pandemonium but instead we are clothed in God’s provision and care.

    Times are perilous, and they’ve been this way for a long while. Whenever we face a crisis in these perilous times, God tells us how to approach it in Philippians 4:6(NLT). This verse says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” There can be no question that prayer is our first line of defense. Heavenly Father is all-knowing and all-powerful. He knows every detail of anything that has happened throughout the history of our existence, and He knew it well in advance. Regardless of what the situation is or how conditions look, He tells us to pray.

    There should be no doubt in any of our minds that prayer from a multitude of believers all over the world will turn things around. Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in 1Timothy 2:1-2(NLT), “1 I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 2 Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.” As God’s children, He instructs us to take on His nature. This means that we should practice the example of Jesus Christ daily. When it comes to actively living through God’s love, we should never assume the posture of sitting idly by with our hands tuck beneath our laps. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must get busy doing what the Father has commanded us to do.

    2Timothy 1:9(NLT) says, “For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.” We have received a holy calling from our Dear Heavenly Father, and to walk in this calling is going to require some things of us, and prayer is chief among them. James 5:16 tells us that the prayers of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. This is because of what the obedient believer carries in them. The Holy Spirit lives inside us, and we have been given the authority of Jesus Christ in the earth. With this authority comes the privilege and honor to partner with Heavenly Father by praying for others.

    We can look at the current times and see that as Christians we haven’t been as diligent as we should when it comes to praying for our country, its citizens, and its leaders. But Jude 1:17-21(NLT) encourages us to tighten up:

    17 But you, my dear friends, must remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ predicted. 18 They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. 19 These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them. 20 But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, 21 and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.

    This passage should ignite our renewed commitment and responsibility to live holy and pray often. We don’t know the day nor the hour when our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will return, but it’s our duty and call to keep our house in order, to remain alert and on guard, and to pray for all people. Then, we should seal our prayers with the deepest level of gratitude we can muster for how good God has been to each of us. Heavenly Father has brought us a mighty long way, and He will never leave or forsake us when our trust is firmly anchored in Him through Jesus Christ. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Pray for All People” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • God’s Plan for Your Life Works

    God’s Plan for Your Life Works

    I watched an interview last week of a woman that described her disappointment in getting back into the dating scene. She’s 35 years-old and is really having a challenging time. She wonders if she’ll ever find love again. Her divorce was very painful, and now that she has to raise two young girls, she wants to be sure she’s setting an example of strength. Having a two-parent home is also very important to her. She wants her girls to believe in the institution of marriage and doesn’t want them to develop fear around it. Considering the difficulty she’s encountered with finding someone special, she wonders if she can reassure her daughters that you can have a marriage where both partners are loyal, happy, and fulfilled.

    As parents, it is not only loving but responsible of us to consider that our attitudes and behaviors will influence our children in a big way. The Old Testament speaks of generational sins and curses that were passed from generation to generation. This isn’t because God passed them, but because negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of the parents were never confronted with the truth of God’s Word. The parents never repented from these things, and therefore continued the poor and wrong behaviors. They modeled them before their children; then their children became parents who then, again, modeled them before the eyes of their children. Sin and negativity were passed down, and the more the sinful patterns continued, the more entrenched they became. We see this with many addictions, dysfunction, and isms in our family cultures and communities.

    20/20 Hindsight
    Pain and struggle are often calling cards for change. They signal that we need to find our way back to God’s plan for our lives. This is such a good lesson for us. Many people totally ignore the reality that the complexities of life can cause them to get off the path of God’s purpose. The solution to getting back on the path is to remove the blockers that keep us from it. It’s to pursue God’s wisdom and find out what He requires, so we can follow the path that He’s laid before us. This isn’t the path we choose, it’s the path that He, and only He, has chosen for us.

    Sometimes we have generational stuff hiding out in our hearts, and we have neither confronted nor repented from them. We have negative patterns, sometimes quite nasty ones, that surface with the significant people in our lives. Divorce and heartbreaks of any kind can provide a lens that will help us reflect on our own behavior. When we’re in a relationship and things are not going well, some of us panic, go into denial, or play the blame game. The end of the relationship will often give us 20/20 hindsight. When we’re in it, we can’t see what we’re doing that may contribute to the relationship’s demise, but once it has ended, some of us see more clearly. We can look at the things we could have done differently. This perspective offers valuable clues, and we must be guided by the Spirit to analyze, heal, and deal with them.

    He doesn’t fail
    Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” This verse is very simply written and is easy to understand, but the impact of its truth is astounding. It provides the firm foundation on which we can anchor our hopes and dreams. All of us make plans for our futures, but one of the valuable lessons that a broken relationship can teach us is how quickly and dramatically our plans can fall apart. God is the glue that holds everything together, and we must trade our plans for His plans.

    God said in Jeremiah 29:11(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you…They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” God is GOD! He doesn’t need any help from us to set His plan in motion. In Jeremiah 17:8, God says we’re like trees planted by the riverbank, with roots that reach deep down in the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat of the sun, but drink in its’ nourishment and don’t ever have to worry about a drought. The leaves of this tree remain green continually, and this tree never stops bearing fruit. The other truths reflected in this verse is that God created the tree, as well as the sun and the soil that keep it nourished. Everything about this tree and its’ care is included in God’s perfect plan.

    God causes all things to work together according to HIS purposes. He has a plan for our individual lives, and it cannot fail. His plan includes the well-being of our children, our spouses, our care, and every other provision we need. He wants the best for us, and He wants us to be happy, so the best thing we can do for ourselves is surrender our agenda for His agenda. It’s to stop worrying about how our children see our mistakes and make sure they see our commitment to Christ. When we yield to him and allow him to teach us how to be truly led by the Spirit, our lives will be a testament of God’s truth because we will be living and blessed according to His plan.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “God’s Plan for Your Life Works”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • When It’s Better to Live Alone

    When It’s Better to Live Alone

    Proverbs 21:9(NLT) says, “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” Sometimes the truth spoken very plainly will slice and clarify with the sharpest knife. As a single person, our ears should perk up when we hear this verse in Proverbs 21:9. It should make us ask ourselves a few questions. The first of which is “what is God’s definition of a quarrelsome wife?” Many of us would attempt to answer this question very quickly, but that would be a mistake. One of the major reasons we see quite a few people that are disappointed in their significant relationships is because they’ve made impetuous and incorrect assumptions. These were made in areas of a relationship that required us to hear from God so we could be led by the Spirit. Instead, we assumed we knew best and ended up with a costly mistake.

    A quarrelsome wife
    Cross-referencing scripture and looking closely at Proverbs 21:9, a quarrelsome wife is a woman that is full of strife and bitterness, so much so that she is easily provoked to anger and uses angry words with her husband and children. This is a woman that probably seems quite nice out in public. It is only in her home environment, among those who know her best, when she allows the claws to come out. She speaks words that she knows in her heart are intentionally hurtful and has no regard for the reality that the people she is hurting are treasures that belong to God. A quarrelsome wife has issues. They are hiding out in her soul, yet they are apparent to everyone except her.

    Proverbs 21:9 paints a very clear picture that a woman can make a home a terrible place to be. Even if it is palatial and well-kept, a nagging wife can make the home a place where the man and children are under affliction. In times that seem peaceful, they are nervous and anxious about when she might explode again. Her home should be a place of rest, but she has saturated every crevice with the putrid odor of bitterness. And yet, folks who know her are under the false notion that she is the epitome of Godliness.

    Better to be in a corner
    It is very sad to say that the condition of many sisters’ hearts is so racked by deep-seated anger, bitterness, and the arrogance of entitlement, that singleness is epidemic. We are grieving the Holy Spirit because we have not truly repented and have refused to acknowledge how wrong we have been. It is from this place of wrongness that we make incorrect assumptions, and claim we are unaware of the harm we have already inflicted and will inflict in the future. Heavenly Father will not reward us with a treasure in this state. Instead, He warns the man to steer clear of a quarrelsome woman, because it is better that he lives alone in a corner of an attic than to live with her.

    All over the world, men have heeded this wisdom from God, even the ones that have never heard Proverbs 21:9. They know all too well what it means to live with a quarrelsome woman, because many of them have seen it in their own mothers. Any man, that is truly a man, will ultimately high tail it and run from a woman who comes against the anointing and authority he carries as a man. As women of God, we want to be respected and appreciated as treasures, and we must have an intention and commitment to treat every other person this way as well; especially those that live in our own homes.

    Proverbs 3:3(NIV) tells us, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” 2Corinthians 6:6 says that we prove ourselves by our purity, knowledge, patience, and kindness that is outwardly expressed in love from the Holy Spirit within. This is how we must live, and when it is our sole intention to do so, our attitudes and lives will change.■

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “When It’s Better to Live Alone” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Show Me How to Love

    Show Me How to Love

    As human beings, we crave love, and whether we’re willing to admit it or not, most would do almost anything to have it. Many people today are still searching for that special someone, and they hope this person will shower them with the love they’ve always wanted. It’s no secret that there are disproportionately more single women desiring a committed relationship than men. They hope to find a man that has qualities comparable to their own, and that this quest will ultimately lead to marriage. They also hope this will not be prolonged much longer. Most single believers desiring marriage recognize that having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way to make it a reality. Every step that a person takes towards increasing their faith in Christ is impactful, and this is one of the reasons it’s so important to be led by the Spirit in all you do, especially when it comes to your desire for marriage.

    The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” From the very beginning of our lives, as infants, we are comforted and become established in the unconditional love from our parents. Knowing that our parents or guardians will always be supportive and will never walk away from us should establish the first foundation of love in our hearts. For many, this expectation of love, care, and support is rooted in us from infancy, but as we grow, our expectations for and about love should change. As children, our parents were our lords—they were supposed to be our everything. But as Paul tells us in God’s Word, when we mature and develop into adults, it is necessary for us to let go of childish things.

    We are not perfect, and neither are our parents. Sometimes the foundation that gets established in us doesn’t help us build faith, but in some areas work against our faith. We grow up holding on to and nurturing immaturity. Some generational stuff gets passed on, and we may have insecurities and fears that we’ve not confronted or owned. These immature tendencies block us from developing mature faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is crucial to handle this business of removing the blockers, and to do it before we’re in the most significant relationships of our lives. The person we’ll marry will be the individual we minister to most. They will be most impacted by our spiritual walk in Christ, and if we are not prepared to help them in the way that God has purposed, we’ve got a problem.

    Discovering God’s love is transformative. He has shown us through Christ that love is about what we do and has very little to do with what we say. Our loving Lord and Savior paid the ultimate price for us. Because of his overwhelming love, he sacrificed his life as payment for our sins. He said in John 15:13(NLT), “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” When we accept the love of Christ in our hearts, we then must love as he loves, share as he shares, and give as he gives. This is the least we can do for all that he has done for us.

    1 John 3:16(MSG) says, “This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.” We must understand that sacrifice is necessary in love; Jesus Christ has shown us this, and it is this sacrificial aspect of love that many people refuse to see. Meeting the person we will marry can’t be a desire born out of selfishness or self-agendas. If it is, the relationship won’t have a solid foundation. But when a relationship is built on the solid foundation of Christ, it will last. This means that, with our future spouses, we will come into the union with a measure of spiritual maturity that God has stamped “READY!”

    Right now, we don’t yet know all the ways in which we’re missing the mark in the love of God in Christ, but God knows. He knows our every weakness, and He sees the problems and situations in our futures that we are not yet spiritually mature enough to handle. The psalmist prayed in Psalm 27:10-11(NLT), “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O LORD. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me.”  This must be our constant prayer. You have an enemy that seeks to keep you separated from our future spouse, but God will teach you how to love through Him and keep your union strong. He will show you how to love so that you fulfill the plan He has for you and your spouse. Be patient, and let the Spirit lead you along this right path. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Show Me How to Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • I Thought I heard from God

    I Thought I heard from God

    Genesis 1:27-28(MSG) tells us, “God created human beings; he created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!” God is our Creator, and He has made us in His image. 1John 4:8 affirms that love is not just what God does, LOVE is who He is! Therefore, you and I can know resolutely that we were made from God’s love. And with His love, many things are woven into our beings. For instance, we know that one of the things God desires from all of us is an intimate relationship. So, it should come as no surprise that as children made in His likeness, a desire for relationships comes baked in our makeup. This desire is a product of God’s love. It shows us that love will always seek to expand and increase, and that our desire for partnership is very natural.

    Because love is so important to us, sometimes we allow ourselves to be manipulated and mistreated in the pursuit of it. In Hosea 4:6, God tells us that His people are destroyed because of ignorance. This makes it clear that we can be severely harmed or taken out because of what we don’t know. It’s apparent why Heavenly Father tells us in Proverbs 4:7 that wisdom is the principal thing, and that we should make every effort to attain it, and to also get an understanding about how to apply this wisdom. Not prioritizing the attainment of wisdom over the pursuit of a relationship can be a very dangerous thing.

    We must know that the enemy was once an angel of light, and he knows how to counterfeit light very well; it is something he uses to trick us so that we fall into one of his traps. The aim, of course, is to keep us blinded so that we focus our attention on the counterfeit and miss the true blessing that is meant for our lives. To get a visual of what this looks like, we don’t have to look too far. Most of us have heard these hurtful stories. We have seen it in our own families or have experienced it ourselves. We have a tremendous capacity to love, and with this comes the desire to cling to a relationship that is past it’s expiration date, and to keep on loving even when the other person no longer feels the same way.

    A friend that did this said to me about the man she loves, “I know I heard God tell me he was the one.” In truth, she had already made an emotional investment in the man before she even thought about consulting the Lord. She had made up in her mind he was the one before seeking the wisdom to know for sure. After three years of dating, she’s devastated because she truly believed that the man she had been devoted to was in her words, “the man I’m meant to marry.” We must be careful not to betray our better judgment in this way. We must wait on God. If we ask for His guidance and wisdom, He is sure to give it.

    Love is an area of life where we desperately need wisdom. God doesn’t make mistakes. His first priority is our spiritual growth in Christ. Therefore, partnership with God through the Lord Jesus Christ will always come first with Him. It would be out of His divine order to give us a treasure of another person, when we are not even handling ourselves righteously before Him. Jesus Christ warns us not to be so consumed with getting that we are not able to respond to God’s giving. He tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first, and all the other blessings will be added to our lives.

    If we desire a wonderful relationship, but don’t have the proven spiritual strength, wisdom, and maturity to handle it right now, Heavenly Father doesn’t tell us ‘no’. He helps us develop well-formed love so that we are able to handle the thing we desire most. We don’t have to be perfect, but we do have to demonstrate that we will always and forever put God first, no matter who comes into our lives. God is the glue that holds everything together, and we must wake up to this truth, otherwise, we’ll keep going down the wrong path and continue the cycle of making the wrong kinds of decisions. Heavenly Father doesn’t want this for us. He wants us to be wise, spiritually strong, and confident in His love, and when we are, we’ll be prepared for the treasures He’ll send our way. ■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. 

    “I Thought I heard from God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Yes, I Called Him First

    Yes, I Called Him First

    The internet has drastically changed many aspects of our lives, but you’d be hard pressed to argue against its monumental impact on dating. Because of the internet, single people have more options today than ever, but more options don’t necessarily translate to making dating easier. While it’s true that the dating pool of potentials is widened by online dating sites, the weeding out process is often complicated and tricky. Profiles paint a picture of what a person wants you to see, and often leave out entirely the stuff you’d run away from if you knew it. So, we’re now at a place where a person is more likely to meet someone through an email than at the grocery store, church, or through friends and family. Therefore, caution and wisdom are indispensable with online dating, because so few people talk about the need to adjust expectations to reality. The real deal is that it may take a long time to find a compatible, quality person that is interested in building a serious relationship—one that will last.

    A little while ago, a good friend went out on her first date with a man she connected with online. They had been conversing a few weeks, and things were going really well, so they finally decided to meet. On the date, she said the conversation between the two of them was even better than their phone calls. He said all the right things. The restaurant was nice, they instantly seemed to hit it off, and my friend felt very optimistic. The entire evening, he was the perfect gentleman, and when she arrived home, she thought surely he would text. He didn’t. No ‘nice to meet you in person’, ‘enjoyed your company’, or ‘let’s do that again.’  She got nothing.

    The next morning, she checked her phone and again, nothing. They had been texting each other ‘good morning’ for a few weeks, so she was very puzzled by this. A few days went by, and still…crickets.

    Meeting someone in person is completely different from reading a profile and seeing a picture online. You get a sense of a person’s energy when you’re in their company, and the chemistry can be completely different than you thought it would be. Sometimes the other person’s agenda isn’t what they’ve represented in a profile. Maybe the man’s intention is purely physical. His bubble is burst when he meets her in person, and she is not someone that is easily manipulated.

    There are people who endure even more hurtful situations from online dating than what my friend has endured. We’ve probably all heard some of the horror stories, and the lesson is that none of us should internalize the rejection and disappointments from this stuff. We should learn that it will forever and always be best to depend on God’s wisdom and guidance with any dating option. He knew about the internet a very long time before any of us had a clue, and He knows how to guide us through the pitfalls.

    As women, we can jump in too soon with our emotions. We become too eager and excited, and we need to be more cautious. Proverbs 19:2(NLT) tells us, “Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good; haste makes mistakes.” In the case of my friend, you might be thinking that perhaps she misread things, and maybe she should be the one to call. My friend considered this herself and decided to do just that. He answered her call and seemed happy to hear her voice. He said he had been thinking of her and was going to call but things got hectic. He promised to call her later that evening, but it’s been a few months, and that was the last time she heard from him.

    We can call it old fashion if we want, but God’s Word and Will is never outdated, and if we don’t follow it, we can’t expect the results it yields. Women and men are not the same. They each have different roles, and Heavenly Father was extremely intentional about this. Proverbs 18:22(NLT) says, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” This is God’s standard, and God’s standards never change. We are sons and daughters of the Most High God, and members of His holy family through the Lord Jesus Christ. He tells us that a virtuous woman is priceless. His expectation is that she will be treated in a way that honors her worth.

    It is in no way about arrogance or egotism. It is about owning your identity as God’s precious daughter. If you know who you are, then you have a right to expect that a man will appreciate your worth. If he is truly seeking a woman of your Godly character and grace, he would be chomping at the bits to be in your company again; because that’s how a man of integrity, substance, and loyalty behaves when he’s in the presence of his queen. A man will always pursue what he wants. If he’s not willing to pursue you, he doesn’t recognize your worth.

    Proverbs 19:3(NLT) tells us, “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD.” It is very easy for all of us to be foolish and make a mistake with dating, and there are a variety of ways to do it. But this kind of mistake can turn into a travesty that will ruin our lives if we’re not careful. It can cause us to lose valuable time, stamina, and momentum that should be aimed towards the man who is deserving of all we have to give. So, yes, you may have called him first, but be wise and don’t do it again.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Yes, I Called Him First” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.