Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Women Ministry

Speak the Truth About What You Want

One of my sister-friends and I were talking on the phone the other day and I noticed she didn’t sound quite like herself, so I asked her what was wrong. She didn’t hesitate to reveal what was on her mind and heart. It was as if she had been waiting for someone to give her permission to unleash her frustration. “We’ve been inseparable for thirteen-months, and there’s been no mention from him of wanting to move things closer to a commitment. I don’t want to seem desperate, like all my happiness is depending on him. And I don’t want to push him away either, but I’m ready for something more, and I just feel so stuck right now.” In thirteen months, over a year, neither of them had taken the time to discuss their expectations with one another. I was stunned by this. With all the conveniences of cell phones, texting, internet, pen and paper, and greeting cards and e-cards that express just about anything you want to say, in all that time, two grown folks didn’t communicate what they wanted from one another. Why?

James 2:26(NLT) tells us, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” Ladies and gentlemen, faith is required for anything any of us might attempt to do. It doesn’t matter what it is, how large or small, without faith, it won’t get done. We need faith to move from point A to point B, and Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 11:22 to have faith in God! Our Heavenly Father is a God of order, and His order dictates that we first find out what is available to receive from Him. Then, we can begin to move forward. Many of us get this twisted. We see what we like, pursue it, and ask God to bless what we’ve pursued. Some of us have found out the hard way that this isn’t a workable strategy.

At a fundamental level, we know that God desires us to marry should we desire it for ourselves. Take a look at Ecclesiastes 4:7-12(MSG), “7-8 I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone—no children, no family, no friends—yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, “Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?” More smoke. A bad business. 9-10 It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! 11 Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. 12 By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.” God schools us here on the basics of unity and what two people can accomplish when they walk together through life. He knows the benefits of partnership, that’s why He designed it. So, if we want marriage, we can have confidence that He wants it for us, more than we could ever want it for ourselves. He desires our happiness.

After we’ve developed confidence and trust that God indeed wants the best for us, we should also ask Him to show us WHO is the best for us. We shouldn’t make assumptions in this area without seeking His guidance, because that’s not faith, that’s guessing. My sista-friend assumed her boyfriend understood her desires without the both of them ever communicating about them. After an investment of over a year of her time and energy, she may have set herself up for disappointment.

You don’t have to hit someone over the head with this as soon as you start dating. In fact, it’s best to allow that conversation to evolve organically, but it shouldn’t take over a year. I can’t say why they haven’t communicated about marriage or whether both of them want it and plan to head in that direction, but both my friend and her boyfriend are really smart people. She’s been around him long enough to sense how he feels about their relationship. My guess is that she hasn’t broached the subject because she fears he’s going to say the very words she doesn’t want to hear, “I don’t want marriage.”

1John 3:18 (NLT) says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” This is good medicine and good practice. As God’s daughters, we should have an expectation that God will present us with someone He approves of, someone that will have our backs and consider it a privilege to walk with us through life. Any good father would want this for his daughter, and this is even more true of Heavenly Father. We should never have any fear about speaking the truth of God’s Word and speaking the truth about what we want. Have faith in God and have faith in what He desires for your life. Ask Him for His guidance so that you are led to the right man who will desire marriage and won’t hesitate to let you know it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Speak the Truth About What You Want”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 2, 2022
Good Love Starts from Within

A very good friend and sister-in-Christ told me one day, “When a man truly loves a woman, peace in the relationship will follow.” I remember thinking to myself, “How in the world did she come to this realization?” At that time in my life, I wondered what she must have gone through in her own personal relationships to finally get to this place—a place where she could see this kind of love and peace in her life as well as in her significant relationship. It wasn’t until I had gone through a few heartaches and disappointments and learned from my mistakes that I came to realize just how true her statement is. I now know with confidence that good love starts from within. This is true for us, and it’s true for the person that we desire to build a life with.

Most of us have received age-old wisdom about good love. We’ve been taught that if a person has it within themselves to honor and respect others, if they want the best for them, and has genuine compassion, this person is capable of good love. A more modern version of this wisdom is that a person that loves good will always have your back, no matter what. This is a man or woman that will give you their last and will go without, themselves, so that they can make sure you have what you need. Now, most folks today would probably say that there aren’t many people around who fit the bill for this good love. They might say they don’t come built like this anymore, but is that really true?

Luke 1:37(NLT) tells us, “For nothing is impossible with God.” God’s Word is true, and His Word never fails. When God speaks, we have the definitive authority on a subject, for everything He speaks is perfect and true. In Mark 12:30(NLT), Jesus Christ commands, “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the kind of love that God requires of us, and because of the Words commanded by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we can confidently know two things. The first is that God is good. The second thing we can know for sure is that because He made us, we are capable of giving Him good love. If you and I were not capable of loving God the way He desires to be loved, Jesus Christ would not have commanded us to do it.

The question is never if a man can give us good love. The question is whether we are giving God the love He requires. How can any of us ever have faith that we will receive good love, if we don’t have faith in our ability to give it to God? Heavenly Father has put a perfect love system in place, and 1John 4:21(NLT) gives us an important part. This verse says, “And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.” Understand that obedience requires us to give God the good love He has empowered us to offer to Him. It is because of the good love that we give to Him that we can give it to each other. 1John 5:2(NLT) affirms this. It says, “We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments.”

Ephesians 5:2(NLT) tells us, “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Jesus Christ came to the earth and modeled the perfect example of God’s love. He showed us how God’s love should be lived-out on earth. Christ is our example. Through the pattern he gave us, we learn to give good love and this same love comes back to us. It’s the love of God IN Christ IN us that starts the cycle and keeps it going. God loves us first. We accept it, then give it back to Him and others. The love cycle in Christ continues, leaving a trail of blessings wherever it goes. So, it’s not about our thoughts and opinions, it’s about believing and trusting God’s Word, and believing and trusting HIS love. It’s faith in His love that brings about His peace in our relationships.

If we put the good stuff out there, the good stuff will come back to us. The good stuff is God’s love. The love that you and I offer is sometimes based on our own personal agendas. It has strings attached to it, but not the love of God in Christ. When we make a habit pattern of loving God, wonderful things happen inside us. Our love for God gives the Holy Spirit permission to do his most perfect work within. Then, we can love others with this same unfailing, unconditional love that God has given us.

Some of us are living a reality day to day that has been shaped and molded by our own low expectations. Many of us have no interest in meeting God’s standard of love, even though He’s empowered us to get it done. And because we refuse to meet His standard, we refuse to believe that a man can love us through that standard. The darkness of this kind of wrong believing will keep us not only thinking low but settling for low.

When it comes to a man that gives good love, are our expectations limited by our lack of confidence in our own ability to give it? This deserves some thought, because good love does indeed come from within, where the love of God abides. When your relationship is right with God, your outer reality will prove it out, and you can’t help but have peace. Some folks believe that people who give good love no longer exist, that you can’t find a man that will truly have your back, but God’s Word forces us to turn the mirror on ourselves. It is impossible to love God and love others through His love, and not receive this love in return. So, when a man truly loves a woman, peace follows not so much because of what he gives, but because of what God has given to us all through Jesus Christ. Confidence in our love for God and His love for us will always end in peace. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Good Love Starts from Within”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 18, 2022
Well Worth the Wait

My children, like most I imagine, are very inquisitive little creatures. No matter where we go, I can always count on this one question, “Where are we going?” They ask it even before they can buckle their seatbelts and then ask it while I’m driving. If they think the destination is close, they’ll ask, “How much longer before we get there?” I get a kick out of this sometimes. I like piquing their curiosity and surprising them with an unexpected destination. Our life’s journey is similar in some ways. A lot of us are asking God these same questions, but unlike our kids, many of us have lost a sense of wonder. We don’t like the unexpected, especially when it comes to waiting on the right person for our lives. We want God to give us all the details of the destination before the journey begins.

My conversation with a Christian woman the other day made me examine the relationship between our destiny and expectations more carefully. She had many expectations of God, but one of the most puzzling questions on her mind is why she hasn’t met a quality man. She has faith that God answers prayer, and she believes she’ll meet a good man one day, but the ‘when’ weighs heavily on her mind. I understand this because I had been in her shoes at one point in my life—it can feel as though you’re stranded in the Sahara Desert with no rain for years. At least, that’s how I personally felt.

Our Heavenly Father isn’t governed by our time-clock, thank goodness. His promises are built on HIS perfect timing. Psalm 84:11(NKJV) says, “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Heavenly Father doesn’t withhold blessings. He delights in blessing His people. Each of us has a destiny in His Will and Plan, but sometimes our choices and decisions prolong the time it takes us to reach our destination.

You may have a full tank of gas in the car but if you don’t turn the key, you won’t move in any direction. The same applies to your life. We have the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So, our spiritual tanks are full, but if you don’t apply God’s Word to your life, you are not turning the key. How far and how long will it take you to reach your destiny if that’s your approach? The answer to this question is that we can’t get anywhere or fulfill our destinies without saturating our hearts with God’s Word. His Word works! This means if you pray for God to bless you to meet a good man, He has already put a plan in motion for your marriage. It means that the door of blessing is right in front of us, but we have a responsibility to turn the key.

There’s one thing about us human beings that Jesus Christ makes very plain, and it is the reality that we can’t focus on faith and fear at the same time. We can’t focus on having faith in God’s goodness and blessings, and at the same time focus on the fear of being lonely longer than we’d like. To focus on God’s goodness, we must keep our eyes continually on Jesus Christ. In Philippians 3:14(NLT), through the Apostle Paul, God gives us a very important component to moving ahead. He said, “I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” This is a race that God has called us to run, and there are things that we were purposed by Him to do in this race. It is very important for us to seek God and ask Him what He requires.

When it comes to what God requires of His children, people fall into one of three categories. First, there are those they actually haven’t prayed and haven’t taken the time to ask Him what He requires. Typically, these individuals take their purpose in God’s Plan very lightly, and they may not even believe they have one. So, their vision of who they are in Christ is not on point. They are not walking in their sonship rights and true identity as a joint heir with Christ, because they don’t believe they are. If we believe in something, we will pursue it. So, not pursuing our purpose in the Plan of God is a sure indication that we don’t have faith in it. If we don’t have faith in our purpose in God’s Plan, how can we have faith in His plan for our lives when it comes to marriage?

Another category is people who have asked God what He requires of them, but they are stuck in neutral, waiting for a big event to take place. They have not demonstrated a full commitment because they become easily distracted and impatient. They stop and start repeatedly, they’re inconsistent with believing God’s Word, and they don’t realize that it’s the choices we make daily to become more like Christ that lead us continually on the path to purpose. In other words, the engine needs to be moving, and we’re are the ones to kick it in high gear. We need to open our eyes to the reality that pressing into God, clinging to His Word, and staying in continual communication with Him through prayer is the way to go. God needs to see this commitment from us.

The last category is comprised of people that are walking in their purpose within God’s Plan but might be feeling as they are losing momentum and stamina on this journey. You thought things would turn out differently. You thought you would be married, with two kids and a dog by now. But what if God is still training you for what lies ahead in your future? What if you have a few more lessons to learn? Are you going to give up on believing in His Plan for your life? Will you be patient, trust that He knows best, and have faith that He will never let you down?

Instead of letting your hope dwindle, press your foot to the ground and floor it! Recognize once and for all that you are not in charge of the race, you are responsible for running it. God is going to bless you, but don’t let your motivation and focus be determined by what you desire from Him. Let your heart be filled with the desire to please God. Keep seeking Him and keep asking Him to show you what He requires. Your unwavering commitment to do this demonstrates your love and faith, and at His appointed time, you will receive the blessing you desire. It will be well worth the wait.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Well Worth the Wait”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 30, 2022
On the Minds of Single Believers

Getting married is on the minds of many single believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we can be crystal clear that God’s promises are a sure thing. Psalm 145:19(NLT) tells us, “He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.” This is a tremendous source of encouragement to those of us actively and fervently praying to cross paths with our future spouses. However, we must remember the words of our Master Jesus in Luke 12:48. He tells us that when someone is given much, much will be required of them. From this, we should expect that our efforts to increase our relationship with God must expand as we receive more from Him. Even the way we see God must increase. Psalm 145:19 affirms this. The word ‘fear’ in this verse is a Hebrew word that means to have supreme reverence and awe. So, God grants the desires of those that supremely reverence and honor Him. He hears our prayers and He will rescue us from all hurt, harm, and danger, but our reverence of God is required. Therefore, it is a very worthwhile endeavor for you and me to understand what it means to reverence God, and then we must make sure we’re doing it in a way that pleases Him.

Having reverence means that we have a deep respect and adoration for someone or something. In Matthew 6:33 and Mark 12:30, Jesus Christ paints a picture of what this deep and abiding reverence looks like. In Mark 12:30, he commands us to love God with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. In Matthew 6:33, he says we must seek God and His righteousness above all other things. From this, we can determine that God requires a firm commitment to honor Him above all others. He can’t be second but must always be first. When God is first in our hearts, love has free reign of the place, because God is love. His love can then begin to impact and affect everything we do. When God doesn’t have first place in our hearts, darkness, disappointment, and despair have free reign.

Do you believe that God delights in giving blessings to His children? He absolutely does! 2Corinthians 9:7(NIV) says, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” God loves a cheerful giver because that’s exactly what He is. He gives cheerfully to us, and it makes Him happy to do so, but we must also understand that an excellent giver gives intelligently. I wouldn’t give a vacuum cleaner to a two-year old, and I wouldn’t choose a baby rattle as a birthday gift for a full-grown man. As thoughtful givers, we give gifts that are appropriate to the person’s ability to manage or use the gift. And we give gifts based on what we perceive as their need for them.

If you and I do this, imagine how much more thoughtful and careful God is with His gifts and resources. We can see this very evidently in His Word. 1Timothy 2:4 says that God wants all people to be saved and filled with the Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ, and He wants them all to come into the knowledge of Christ. But you and I know that all people are not saved. God desires them to be, but it isn’t reality right now. In truth, there are exponentially more people not saved by the blood of the lamb than those that are. Ephesians 2:8 tells us concretely that salvation is a gift of Heavenly Father, but He doesn’t give it to every living person automatically. Jesus Christ warned us that we shouldn’t give pearls to those that have no idea of their value. God wants us to value salvation, to understand what a priceless treasure it is and to desire it for ourselves. He freely gives salvation to us, but we must ask for it with an earnest heart. Asking for the gift with an earnest heart demonstrates that we know its value and will appreciate it. We will be thankful to God for His gifts.

God is looking to bless a person with a heart that will treasure the value of a spouse, will do what is required to preserve unity and be a good steward of the relationship, and will always keep Him first in their lives. This is a heart that is fully committed. 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” A heart that is fully committed to God is a heart that reverences and honors Him supremely. This is a person that with strong faith in God and will not be moved by the storms or temptations of life. Heavenly Father can have confidence that this is a person who will value His gifts and look after them appropriately.

Psalm 37:4-5(NLT) tells us, “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.” Heavenly Father is faithful to bring His Word to pass in our lives, but we must be obedient to do what He says. A person can refute the connection between backing their faith and receiving their desires all day long, but the reality is that we must seek God first and love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength to demonstrate that we are committed to stewarding His blessings. We must back our faith with works that show that we love God because of who He is and not just because of what He can give us. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“On the Minds of Single Believers” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 23, 2022
Stay on the Right Track to the Blessing of Marriage

When I was in my early twenties, I went out on a date with an officer in the military. He was very handsome, articulate, and tough as nails. We had gone out on a few dates, but one of them sticks out in my mind very vividly. We were out when we bumped into a couple that were friends of mine. I introduced them of course, and we talked a few minutes. They went on their way and a little while later, my date asked me how I knew them. I told him that we had met at a Christian retreat for singles. They ended up getting married a year later. I told him that I admired their commitment to God’s standards while dating. Both were very open and candid about their vow of celibacy during their courtship. After telling him this, my date then opened up a little bit more about his home life. He said that he wasn’t raised in a Christian home, and even as an adult, he struggled with believing in God. He said it was hard for him to understand how others could believe so strongly in a God they can’t see.

Spiritual maturity has taught me that the times are too urgent, and people are too dark and self-absorbed for us to take any chances with our spiritual walk. Proverbs 4:27(NLT) tells us, “Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.” God teaches us not to turn to the left or to the right, but to keep our eyes stayed on Him so that we don’t get sidetracked. If we do in fact get sidetracked, we could take several steps backward or miss the mark altogether when it comes to the blessings we desire most. It’s a tremendously wise strategy to be careful and cautious. It’s the guidance God gives us so we can stay on the path and receive what He has in store for our lives.

Impatience causes many of us to veer away from the right path. Heavenly Father tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge and indeed they reject the very knowledge about Him that will keep them safe, blessed, and prosperous. When your heart is to be married, but you’re in a relationship with someone who isn’t of the same heart and mind, it can lead to many challenges. It’s so important to have a strong and made-up mind about knowing how and when to say no if ever you’re in a situation that’s remotely tempting. Why? Because once we pray to receive the blessing of the right person, Heavenly Father begins to help us, and we shouldn’t question this for one second. Our response to Him should be to do whatever we can to partner with His efforts and not work against them.

1Thessalonians 4:3-6(NLT) tells us, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.” Somehow, we have erroneously believed that our sin does not impede our efforts to move towards our goals, but it does. When we ask Him, God forgives us for all sin, but He does not eradicate the consequences of our sin. Sin requires a price, and the devil will make sure we pay it with the things we desire and hold dear.

Let’s be smart about the choices we make and learn to perceive God’s directions, so we stay on the right track to the blessing of marriage. Don’t be tricked and think you have time to waste on anyone that is not going to advance you towards God’s Will and Plan for your life. Use your time wisely. Know that studying God’s Word, praying and meditating on His goodness, and growing in the Spirit is helping you in every way. It will pay off with the greatest treasure possible if you remain steadfast and stay the course. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Stay on the Right Track to the Blessing of Marriage” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 9, 2022
The Promise, Process, And Presentation

A young Christian woman asked me, “I’m so scared to make a mistake in allowing the wrong person in my life, how will I know I’m making the right decision?” No doubt this young woman has seen the consequences many women have faced after they’ve made a wrong choice. Their relationships ended so badly and left these women in such a predicament that their faith was shaken. These setbacks caused them to feel depleted, lost, and insecure. If they had known more of God’s Word and walked in greater wisdom, surely the devil would not have had an opportunity to steal from them in such a brutal way. “How did they not know?” the young woman asked. It is a fair question when it comes to fully grown adults. How are we bamboozled by another human being to such an extent that we lose so much of ourselves in the process? This is a worthy question to explore, because the stability of our lives can be so damaged by a wrong choice that we’re fearful and others who see our pain become fearful too.

I explained to this young woman that when it comes to receiving anything in life, if it isn’t a presentation from God, then it needs to go back where it came from. Whether it’s a job, a new relationship or even financial increases, you want to make sure that anything and everything that’s new in your life, is not of your own doing, but is completely orchestrated by Heavenly Father. You may think that’s going a bit overboard, but really when it comes to your life, you can’t afford to make mistakes that will repeatedly set you back on this Christian journey; the wrong decisions can be very costly. Not just financially, but mentally, emotionally and particularly spiritually. It takes time and effort to regain what we’ve lost. So, to avoid losing time, momentum, and stamina, we should make sure that something we think is a blessing really is one.

Making Sure It’s from God
Particularly in the arena of dating, you might hear the statement, “waiting on a presentation from God” quite often. Some might get the impression that God suddenly brings a person out of nowhere and ‘boom!’, there he is. Heavenly Father has given us patterns in His Word that will aid our understanding of how He moves. Receiving the promise of what God wants to do specifically in our lives is only the first step. Sometimes, God will give us a dream, a vision, or a revelation from His Word through the Holy Spirit, and this affirms that He has heard our prayers and that the answer to our prayers is not only in alignment with His Will, but it’s on its way. The only way to make sure that God approves and that we are in partnership with His Will is to receive it first from the Holy Spirit. This is the pattern of Christ.

Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NLT), “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ ONLY did those things that pleased God. He did nothing else. His practice was that of staying continually in prayer, getting up early in the mornings to pray, and during these times he would receive direction first, and then guidance from the Holy Spirit for his day. He never went off on his own, doing his own thing. He said in John 5:19(NLT), “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” This is the level of obedience and fellowship with God through Christ that the Father expects to see in us. We receive the promise, walk through the process, and then we’re prepared for the presentation.

Spiritual Preparation
Spiritual preparation is God’s process to get us ready for the presentation. Think of the span of time between God speaking His plans to those He employed, and then them actually receiving the promise. The distance between God’s spoken promise and the fruition of it was spiritual preparation. In Deuteronomy 11:8-9(NLT), He told His people, “8 Therefore, be careful to obey every command I am giving you today, so you may have strength to go in and take over the land you are about to enter. 9 If you obey, you will enjoy a long life in the land the LORD swore to give to your ancestors and to you, their descendants—a land flowing with milk and honey!”

In order to go in and possess the promise, the people had to have spiritual strength. They had to obey God’s commandment and continue to pursue Him. In truth, not only did they have to receive God’s promise to know what HE wanted, they had to increase in spiritual strength, so they’d be able to take possession. Then, in order to enjoy the blessing, their continued obedience was necessary. We can see throughout the Old Testament that whenever and wherever God’s people failed to honor Him and His Word, their blessings were stolen and destroyed by the devil.

Heavenly Father doesn’t want our blessings to be stolen and destroyed by the enemy. He helps us tremendously so we can not only avoid this, but we can receive His guidance before we take the wrong actions. Many of us look at ourselves today and think we’re fully stocked and ready to rock. But the way to truly know we’re ready is to receive the promise supernaturally, put our hands in God’s hands, and let Him walk us through spiritual preparation for the presentation.

Psalms 37:5(NLT) tells us “Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” God never makes a mistake. He is a God of order and perfection. We do not have to be fearful of making a horrible mistake when we have confidence that comes from receiving the promise directly from the Holy Spirit that indwells us. If we will be obedient, humble, and patient to walk with God through His process, the way many before us have done, we will be prepared for the presentation, and know that it’s one God, Himself, is making. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Promise, Process, And Presentation” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 2, 2022
The Journey of Becoming Two

Several of my friends are single parents and raising children on their own. For some of them, relationships have been a revolving door. Some of those relationships looked promising, as if they were going to end in marriage, but things didn’t work out. While we don’t talk about it too much, I know that some of my friends no longer want to be carrying the load of life on their shoulders alone. They desire to journey together with someone that is supportive, caring, and dependable—someone that will fit into their children’s lives with grace and respect. My friends, like most of us, want a home filled with the unity of Christ, but how do they get there? How do single parents make the transition from feeling like they’re carrying the load alone to maintaining a relationship that will ultimately lead to a good and stable marriage?

To be honest, none of us are ever alone. God has brought us this far, and it is because of His goodness, mercy, and grace that we’re here today. Heavenly Father also makes it clear in His Word that marriage is His institution, and He desires everyone who wants to get married to have a good and Godly spouse. Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT) says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” This verse affirms the journey of transitioning from one to two. It’s understanding God’s expectation, covering, and wisdom regarding unity. He is the One that has set the standard, not us. When a man and woman are committed to Christ and committed to each other, and they stand back to back, they are poised to conquer. Their allegiance to put Christ at the head of their union makes a triple-braided cord that will withstand enemy attacks.

The Non-Negotiable Choice

Heavenly Father wired all of us for happiness. We desire it probably more than anything else, and we understand that relationships with God and relationships with others are direct links to this happiness. It doesn’t take much to understand our desire for marital partnership, because unified connections make life sweeter. God set the precedent for this because it’s what He wants from us, connection! Long before any of us came on the scene, we were in God’s thoughts. He knew about us and predestined our existence according to the good pleasure of His Will and Plan. Even before He created Adam, He knew humanity would need a Redeemer in the person of His only begotten, Jesus Christ. God did all of this why? He did it because He wanted a family. He wanted children, and we are the apple of His eye. He created us because He wanted connection with us, and it makes sense that we would want connections with each other.

Our desire for a unified family is baked in, and God understands this desire more than anyone. We must let the truth of this marinate in our hearts and minds. Knowing that God desires our dreams of marriage, family, and unity to come true must be the foundation of our believing. Some of us struggle to believe this, and one of the reasons that we struggle with it is because we’ve grown used to trusting our own shoulders. In our gut, many of us think our shoulders have carried the burdens of single parenting alone. This has bred a sort of independence that causes us to make decisions and choices without consulting Heavenly Father and without trusting His guidance.

The truth is that our shoulders could never have carried all the complexities and burdens that come with being a single parent. It was challenging, but God carried the weight for us. Jesus Christ tells us in John 15:5 that apart from him, we can’t do anything. With some of us, there’s a place in our hearts where we connect personal confidence to the struggles we’ve been through. The rewiring is to connect confidence to faith in God and His grace to bless us to make it, even though we didn’t always put Him first. Sometimes we put the man first, the situation first, our own physical and sexual need first, and we didn’t even think about what God’s Word says.

Our faith in God and His Word must have first position in our minds and hearts. Our commitment to stand on what God says must be relentless, especially when it comes to bringing someone new around our children. Faith is not negotiable. We must be fully persuaded and sold out to God’s commitment to bless us in the area of family and marriage. A half-hearted conviction will not do. If you believe God’s desire to see you blessed is not greater than your own desire for the same, there is more work to do to increase your faith.

You are not a martyr, and your sacrifice or struggle is not required for your happiness. Jesus Christ has paid the price in full. Faith is the requirement you must meet. This means your confidence in the plan God has for your life and the lives of your children must be unshakable. He knows the right person; therefore, the choice to leave this totally in His hands is non-negotiable.

You Determine Your Level of Blessing

Past relationships can teach us many things, but one of the most important lessons is seeing the mirror they hold up regarding our faith. They reveal what was most important to us and they show us how much of God’s wisdom we employed. We should learn from them that building a relationship on the foundation of Jesus Christ is the only way to have confidence that it will continue. You and I can only be blessed to the level that we believe and trust in God’s Word.

Hebrews 6:1(NLT) tells us, “So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God.” Transitioning from single to married requires us to stop going back to old habits and making the same relationship mistakes. As single parents, we should be way past the elementary stage of believing and faith, because we have seen God do so much for us and our children. The greater blessing will require a greater commitment to God and His Word. This is what spiritual maturity is all about. It’s growing in Christ so that we can have his unity and peace in our families and in the marriage that we are believing God to make a reality.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Journey of Becoming Two” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 21, 2022
The Words I Speak Tell My Story

Researchers say that a person can speak several thousand words in an hour, so you can imagine how many words the average person can speak within a day or a week. If you think this is a lot, it’s generally assumed that women speak twice as many words a day than men. Whether it’s because women have way more to say or we have a little more to learn about the art of listening, there can be no doubt that many of us are effective communicators. We’re pretty good with expressing ourselves with words, but we also understand that communication isn’t just about talking. There are other cues and subtle ways to communicate, and intuitively, we’ve mastered reading between the lines. So, with all our finesse in the communication arena, why is it that more of us haven’t learned the secret to moving a situation from desperate to blissful using the power of our tongues?

James 3:3-6(MSG) takes us to school. It says, “A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

A small bit in the horse’s mouth directs his whole body. This little bit makes all the difference! It’s the same thing with a small rudder on a ship. It steers the whole ship and keeps it on a straight course even when there’s a fierce storm with strong winds. This lets us know under no uncertain terms, that something we think is small and insignificant can have a gigantic effect. God is teaching us this because many of us have missed the small details, and overlooking these details is having a huge impact on our lives.

We want God to bless us in certain areas, and when the blessing doesn’t manifest how, where, and when we expect, we complain that God has not heard us or isn’t answering us. He’s communicating, but with us, that whole listening thing comes into play. We’re not paying attention to what He’s conveying and what He’s doing. We might be expecting Heavenly Father to use words, when He’s communicating another way. He might be communicating through our circumstances, telling us that we’re repeating old habit patterns, and self-sabotaging our progression forward. We fail to see the importance of what He’s teaching us through our situations and circumstances. We don’t appreciate the power He’s given us to make a change in our behavior, and we won’t be committed to use this power the way He has ordained. And because we’re overlooking what He’s conveying, we’re not learning the very lesson that will position us for the blessing we desire most.

God’s Word tells us that He’s a God of order, and this means that we won’t get to graduate if we haven’t learned the lesson. I used to say that I could write a book on what I’ve experienced in my short amount of time on this earth. Would the words I’ve spoken thus far author a book that I’d like? Would the title define the person I want to be? I might think so, but what about those for whom my words have influenced and impacted? You see, we really have no excuse because God has already told us the tool of our power. Jesus Christ taught us how to build a life with our words. He told us to do what he did when he walked the earth, which is to walk, talk, and live by God’s Word.

James 3:3-6 reminds us that it only takes a spark to burn down an entire forest. It only takes one accusing, venomous word from our lips to tear someone’s heart to pieces. If you or I have this in us, and we won’t check ourselves; if we have a heart this very moment that will go there, then we could potentially ruin the blessing God wants to give us. Heavenly Father is looking for obedience in us, so that He can trust us to build a foundation strong enough for a healthy relationship to grow and thrive. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder, but He rewards those that DILIGENTLY seek Him. As He examines the motives of our hearts, He’s looking to see if we’re diligent to use this awesome power He’s placed in our tongues to build up or tear down.

God tells us in Proverbs 18:21(NKJV), “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” The secret to moving a situation from desperate to blissful is being ever so careful to examine the words we speak. What we communicate has lasting effects, and our tongues are powerful and sharp tools. Through them we can turn harmony to chaos, or we can turn chaos to harmony; it’s up to us! Let’s be committed to speak words that will tell a story of the love of Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father will be pleased with us if we do this. It will prove that we’ve heard His command and have humbled ourselves to obey it and be rewarded.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“The Words I Speak Tell My Story” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 14, 2022
You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think

If you’re single, there are bound to be days when being without a mate seems overwhelming. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother you all that much, at least that’s what you tell yourself. But there may be moments when being without the companionship of a significant and special person in your life just breaks your heart. Heavenly Father doesn’t want anyone to be in pain, that’s why He sent his Son. 1Peter 2:24(NLT) tells us, “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.” This healing includes the feelings of hurtful disappointment, loneliness, and heartbreak. Our blessed Lord took it all to the cross with him, and because of his sacrifice, we have victory over this pain. For many of us, the work that needs to be done is to accept what Jesus Christ has accomplished. This is the piece that causes us to see his victory manifested in the relationship we’ve been praying to receive.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV) tells us, “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” God’s goal is for us to bear fruit, the kind of fruit that remains and never spoils. Think about this, and you’ll see that God is interested in you bearing the fruit of marriage, and He also wants this marriage to last. He doesn’t want to see you or your spouse wavering in your commitment to one another or causing each other to resent and be bitter towards the other. No. God is not in the business of helping us to harm someone’s well-being, just as He doesn’t want someone causing harm to our well-being. He wants our faith to be at a level where we are prepared to weather any storm through the love of Christ.

Loneliness doesn’t feel good at all, and you must know in the deepest part of your heart that God doesn’t want you to be lonely. You must also come to the realization that your spiritual growth in Jesus Christ is God’s top priority; it’s what He wants most. When we understand this clearly, the question then becomes what area in our walks with Christ requires more spiritual growth and development. The answer isn’t always apparent to us, and that is why we need to pursue God’s wisdom and guidance, and to allow the Holy Spirit to teach us.

Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us suspended in a state of unawareness and lack when our desire is to please Him and to know more about His love. He tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge, because in fact, they reject knowledge about Him; and a curse comes not only on them because of the refusal to seek His wisdom, but on their children as well. In Proverbs 4:7, He reminds us that wisdom is the principal thing. We need to obtain it, and we also need to make sure we understand how to apply His wisdom. James 1:5(NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” How can we have faith that God will bless us with a good and Godly marital partner, and we don’t even trust that He will give us Godly wisdom that will help us achieve that goal?

Some of us have thought patterns and negative attitudes that undermine our faith every time. We don’t see the best in God, and therefore, we don’t believe He wants the best for us. How do we view sin? Do we give ourselves permission to do what God has told us not to do? The answers to these questions are very telling, because our actions tell the story about what we believe. God has told us that if we believe His Word, we will trust it and be obedient to it. If there is an area of our lives where we haven’t put God’s Word in motion, but instead, we’re sticking to how we’ve always believed or what we want to do, our faith is not activated.

Most of us think we know our hearts pretty well, but God knows them better than we ever could. This is a lesson for the ages: God knows our hearts. The reason it is so monumentally important for many single women to trust this wholeheartedly is because they unconsciously think they know more than God. They have felt as if they’ve had to shoulder many burdens alone. When there’s one person instead of two forging his or her way through life, a certain independence develops. Many single sisters carry this independence into their relationships with Heavenly Father. The problem with this is that God demands a child-like faith. But we think we’ve earned the right to call a spade a ‘spade’. We think we know stuff, and we become unteachable. This blocks our faith.

So, we come to God and say, “Oh God, my heart is broken from loneliness. I want a man!” This is a position and posture many of us own, and we do so lock, stock, and barrel. We come to Him telling the Creator of the entire universe that our tank is empty, when He has already filled it to overflowing through Christ. Many of us have not once entertained the truth that when you believe your tank is empty, it isn’t possible for another human being to fill it. The problem isn’t an empty tank, but wrong thinking. Our minds are not renewed to the reality of what we have been given. Because of the feeling of loneliness, we might begin to see ourselves as a victim rather than a victor. We must change this.

It never occurs to many of us to come to God with an attitude that conveys we know who He is, and we know that through Christ we have all we need. Many of us have never said, “Heavenly Father, You gave Your only begotten Son for my sins. He died on the cross, his body was beaten beyond what I could imagine. He was wounded for my transgressions, bruised for my inquities, and with his wounds, I am healed from any lack, loneliness, sickness, or disease! Help me Father to increase my faith so that I walk in the healing that Your Son paid for with His life.”

This is the truth! It’s what God’s Word says in Isaiah 53:5. Heavenly Father loves to see a mirror reflection of His glory in us. He loves it when we mirror His truth through our faith and confess it back to Him. God knows your heart better than you know it, and He wants to lift you higher and fulfill your desires. Let your confessions line up with God’s Word. Don’t let doubt and unbelief mold you into a person with patterns that undermine your spiritual growth. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and God will partner with your faith as you prove that He is good, perfect, and always willing to bless you. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 8, 2022
God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single

I read a study this week that said that single people between the ages of 21-34 are still struggling to find what they consider a compatible partner. For many of them, living together is a more common option than marriage and it’s becoming increasingly prevalent. These studies suggest that those women who do marry typically find their marital partners at the age of 25, and men around the age of 28. These are moving targets of course, particularly with the climbing divorce rates, which might mean that some of these young marriages are not lasting long. Finding love seems to get harder for those that are older and single. It’s common for many older men to prefer a living-together arrangement, and most older women prefer marriage. As you can see, the statistics don’t paint the rosiest of pictures, but this is often the case when faith in God’s provision is left out of the equation.

Not only have many people conveniently forgotten God’s standard when it comes to marriage, but it appears they’ve decided that He needs some help in this area. And we know that’s not the case. So, in the interest of addressing some of the attitudes and opinions about how God’s Word applies to modern relationships, I decided to bring this up as I conversed with a group of Christian sisters who were willing to share their opinions. One of them believed that many singles today are very career-minded and desire to focus on establishing themselves financially before thinking about a spouse. Someone added that this is also a time when people opt for physical connections without any commitment ties.

Some, but not all, of the women I spoke to that are believers were committed to God’s Word and only want to be with the man that God has ordained for their lives. Others were candid about the complexity of maintaining the relationships they’re in and trying to do it without physical intimacy. They feel guilty, but don’t want to be without the companionship of the person they care about; so, they have given in to temptation, and feel it helps to preserve the relationship despite what God’s Word says.

We can’t be surprised that some of our greatest temptations will show up in our significant relationships, because the devil wants us to be one of the negative statistics; and he wants us to make choices that prioritize other people and things over God. This grieves the Holy Spirit, and in the long run, it will devastate our lives.

A temptation is a presentation of a choice. God taught us this in Genesis. Adam and Eve were presented with a tempting choice by the devil. They didn’t have to disobey God, but they did it because they chose to believe the devil’s word over God’s Word. This behavior is rampant in the world we live in, even among believers. We are still tempted by the devil to make decisions that signify we believe the opposite of what God’s Word tells us. No, we’re not perfect. We’re going to make mistakes. We make poor choices and bad decisions sometimes, but Heavenly Father wants us to stop and think about what we’re doing. He wants us to make the process of “think before you act” a habit, so we don’t ruin the future that He desires to give us.

We make hundreds of decisions any given day. Some of great significance and some not so much. But when it comes to partnership and joining ourselves to another intimately, that’s a very significant decision, and it has a very significant impact on our lives. It is most certainly the truth that God will forgive us for all our sins. 1John 1:9(NLT) tells us, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” God throws our sins as far as the east is from the west, and He remembers them no more. But here’s the thing we’ve got to know, His forgiveness does not mean there will not be consequences for our poor choices and bad decisions. For every action there will be a reaction. That is law, and we cannot change it.

One of the reasons that the statistics for singles are troubling is because of the consequences for ignoring God’s Word and not obeying it. Our Heavenly Father cares about us and He cares about our happiness. He knows the challenges we face when it comes to patiently waiting for the right person, but we can’t think that our way is better for us than God’s way. Through Jesus Christ, God has given us a way to overcome the challenges of being single. In John 14:6(KJV), Jesus Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” He’s the pathway to the Father. All the spiritual blessings of peace, joy, unity, love, and righteousness come through him.

Whether or not we believe this, and the extent to which we believe it, will always be tested by the devil. Many of us have terrific lip service. We praise, we sing, we confess, but in our hearts, do we believe that God’s truth will set us free? Do we believe that following God’s Word will bring us the life we desire? If we believe it, our actions will back-up our beliefs. If we don’t believe it, we will follow our own way instead of following God’s way.

Each of us has choices. What path are we going to walk? Because we can’t walk a different path from the one Jesus Christ made available and expect to receive what’s on his path. Understand that the choices you make now are building your tomorrow and your future. In Matthew 4:4(NKJV), Jesus Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, and he faced each temptation and overcame it by telling the devil, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Living God’s Word and obeying it gives us access to God’s rewards, because His Word is life to us, and we are always and forever better off when we trust and obey God’s Word.

Heavenly Father has more concern for our care than we do. In turn, He asks us to be more concerned about His Will than we do about anything else. He is our sufficiency. He will take care of all our needs.

Jesus Christ provided a way for us to get out of sin so we can escape the consequences of it. He paid the ultimate price of dying on the cross for our transgressions. When we know this in the deepest part of our hearts, we will know that steering clear of sin is the way to win and not lose. Losing is falling for the devil’s tricks and temptations. Think about your decisions and choices long and hard. Always pray to God and ask for direction. Be confident that if you follow the pathway that Jesus Christ has given us, it will lead you to a marriage of peace, joy, unity, longevity, and love. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 1, 2022