Luke 16:10 (NLT) reminds us of something that reaches deeper than we often realize: “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.” This isn’t just about money or tasks—it’s about stewardship of everything God entrusts to us, including our relationships. Spiritual maturity shows up in how we handle what looks small. Because what we do in private…is never actually small in the eyes of God.
And this is where many of us have to slow down and be honest.
We can be quick to bring people into spaces God never told us to open—especially when it comes to relationships. There’s a temptation to talk too soon, share too much, and invite opinions before we’ve even sought God fully. Giving people front-row access to something that’s still forming can introduce confusion, pressure, and unnecessary interference. Not everything needs commentary. Some things need covering—the kind that thrives in discretion.
I remember someone once said to me, “You’re really good at keeping people out of your business.” At first, I didn’t know how to take that. But over time, I realized—it wasn’t distance, it was discernment. There’s a difference between being open and being unguarded. One is led by wisdom…the other isn’t.
Wisdom knows when to speak…and when to be still. Proverbs 13:3 (NLT) tells us, “Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.” That’s not just about avoiding trouble—it’s about preserving what God is doing. Because once something is spoken, it’s no longer just between you and God. It’s been released into other minds, other interpretations, and other influences.
And we have to understand—everything doesn’t need to be exposed in order to grow properly.
If we’re not careful, we’ll assume every voice around us is there to help—but Scripture shows us that’s not true. In Job’s life, it wasn’t just loss he was dealing with—the enemy was actively at work, and the wrong voices showed up right on time. Job 2:2 (NLT) says, “I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that’s going on.” That’s not symbolic—that’s strategy. The enemy watches—he looks for openings, and when he finds one, he doesn’t always come directly—sometimes he works through people. That’s why discernment isn’t optional. We’re not called to live in fear, but we are called to live aware—and to move with wisdom about who we allow to speak into what God is doing in our lives.
Wisdom knows how to guard what God is building.
This is why discretion matters. Not fear. Not secrecy. But Spirit-led restraint. Some things are meant to be prayed through before they’re spoken about. Some things need time to take root before they’re shared. And some things are simply meant to remain between you and God.
When we lack discernment, we can unintentionally expose what should have been covered. But when we walk in wisdom, we create space for God to move without interference, without noise, and without unnecessary pressure.
So instead of asking, “Who can I tell?”—we start asking, “Lord, what are You saying?”
Because faith requires focus. And focus requires guarding what God has placed in your hands.
Not everything needs an audience. And everything God gives deserves to be handled with care. ■
Through the words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT), God gives us instruction that is both protective and directional: “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” Notice that this isn’t just about what to avoid—it’s about what to pursue, and who to pursue it with. Because whether we realize it or not, the people in our lives are either reinforcing our alignment with God…or quietly pulling us away from it. Spiritual strength doesn’t happen by accident—it’s maintained intentionally. We don’t drift into it. And we don’t stay anchored in Christ while constantly listening to voices that don’t honor Him.
This becomes especially clear when we look at relationships. Some consider marriage as a way to resolve physical desire—but if we’re honest, that foundation won’t hold. When a relationship is built primarily on what the body wants, it won’t have the depth to sustain what covenant requires. God never designed marriage to be a quick answer to desire. He designed it as a reflection of something holy, something intentional, something that carries weight beyond emotion and impulse. So the real question isn’t just “Do we want each other?” It’s “Are we aligned with God’s purpose for this union?”
Emotions can feel convincing. They can rise quickly and speak loudly. But they are not designed to lead. When we allow feelings to take the lead, we often make decisions that our spirit hasn’t agreed with. And that’s where confusion enters. Marriage, by God’s design, requires more than emotional connection—it requires spiritual clarity, maturity, and a willingness to walk in obedience even when feelings fluctuate. Physical intimacy has its place, but it was never meant to carry the weight of the relationship. When commitment, faithfulness, and reverence for God lead, the relationship has something solid to stand on.
Matthew 19:4–5 (NLT) reminds us what Jesus Himself says about marriage: “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’”
God’s design for marriage is not casual, and it’s not something we define based on what feels right in the moment. It is intentional, weighty, and deeply spiritual. When two people come together in covenant, they are not just sharing life—they are stepping into something God Himself established. That kind of union requires more than attraction. It requires understanding, surrender, and a willingness to honor God not just at the beginning, but all the way through. Because becoming “one” is not a feeling—it’s a lifelong yielding.
Genesis 2:18 (NLT) sheds light on the heart behind this design: “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” That word helper speaks to partnership, support, and alignment—not dependency rooted in emptiness. Marriage was never meant to fill a void or quiet loneliness. It was created as a divine partnership where two people walk together in purpose, strengthening one another as they follow God. If we enter it trying to fix what only God can heal, we place pressure on the relationship that it was never designed to carry.
This is why Paul’s instruction in 2 Timothy 2:22 matters so much. The call to pursue righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace isn’t meant to be lived out in isolation. It’s meant to be supported by the company we keep. When you surround yourself with people who genuinely call on the Lord with hearts that honor Him, something shifts. There is accountability. There is wisdom. There is covering. You begin to make decisions from a place of alignment instead of impulse. And you start to recognize that who you walk with will either strengthen your obedience…or slowly erode it.
Some of us have underestimated this. We’ve allowed voices into our lives that sound good but aren’t grounded. We’ve entertained relationships that stir emotion but don’t strengthen our walk. And over time, that misalignment shows up in our choices. But God, in His wisdom, has already given us the pattern. Pursue what is right. Stay anchored in Him. And be intentional about who you allow to walk closely with you.
Proverbs 13:20 (NLT) says, “Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” Pure-hearted companionship isn’t just something that feels good—it actually guards you. When you’re connected to people who genuinely love God and stand on His Word like you do, you’re not just gaining company—you’re gaining strength. These are the ones who speak life, pray with you and for you, and offer wisdom that keeps you grounded. They’re committed to walking through real life with you, helping you stay aligned in faith, love, and a true reverence for our Heavenly Father.
So let His wisdom guide this area of your life. Because the company you keep is never neutral—it’s always shaping the direction you’re headed. ■
“It’s still too early to tell, but I really like this guy I’m seeing…” Vanessa, a good friend I’ve known for many years, confided in me. Despite her hopefulness, she harbors a hint of pessimism, fearing that any man she meets might ultimately disappoint her, leaving her single and unmarried for yet another year.
Matthew 6:34 (ESV) advises us, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” However, convincing a 43-year-old single Christian woman not to be anxious about dating a new man can be met with skepticism. She may push back with words like, “Grrl! Do you know how long I’ve been single?” Yet, while we may think we know what’s best for us, God truly understands every aspect of our being, from head to toe. He knows all about our years of being single.
Older, more mature women often have a clear idea of the qualities they desire in a partner: financial stability, gainful employment, faithfulness, and readiness for marriage. On the other hand, younger Christian women tend to be more fearless, willing to take risks and chances in their dating lives. Despite these differences, both groups share one commonality: the belief that waiting for God’s approval yields the best outcomes in partnerships.
1John 4:19(NKJV) eloquently and plainly states: “We love Him because He first loved us.” God is love, and He has created everything out of His unwavering love for us all. Romans 5:5 tells us that God has poured His love into our lives through His precious Holy Spirit. We, then, must understand that love never originates from external sources because its true foundation lies within us through Jesus Christ. So, the first step in accepting love for oneself is surrendering to the love of Jesus. Loving him, making him Lord, is the greatest thing any of us can ever do in this life; it’s relinquishing control and entrusting our lives to the one who loved us first.
Romans 10:9-10 (NKJV) establishes this truth: “That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”
Over the years, I’ve encountered many single women hoping that the next man they meet will be “the one” to validate years of waiting. However, it’s crucial to recognize that it’s not someone else’s responsibility to shape and define the love we expect to receive. If we’re not accustomed to putting God first and loving ourselves and others through His love, distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy love becomes challenging. We then become a slave to feeling around in the dark, not truly knowing who’s going to hurt or hinder our hearts.
God offers us a better approach. He tells us in Philippians 4:6-7(NLT): “6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers is part of surrendering to God’s plan. It takes courage and strength to believe that God’s way is best. No human being is perfect; we all have room for growth, which is why partnering with someone requires that we are prepared with spiritual strength and the flexibility of God’s love.
Many are firm in their conviction, “I’ve been single long enough!” They believe it’s time for a change, and indeed it is. We must acknowledge that confronting our vulnerabilities and insecurities with faith is a mandate from God; we won’t get away from this. For some, it’s a fear of being perceived as inadequate or unlovable. Others of us simply haven’t made the kind of commitment to Him that God seeks. It all comes down to our faith in Him. It must grow. Embracing this truth should motivate us to greater love and dispel any doubt that God will bless us in life and marriage. ■
One of the lessons that we quickly learn as adults is that relationships require work, and sometimes lots of it. Most of us conclude that we grossly underestimated just how much work it takes to make a relationship last. When we’re dating, we might find ourselves being the one that makes an ample investment into the man’s life, and sometimes that investment isn’t equally reciprocated. Thinking about walking away is very challenging, but we must be clear that mishandling things at this vulnerable juncture is never wise. The love we had for this man can sour and turn to bitterness. When that happens, our own fellowship with God is in jeopardy. We lose the heart and authority to be an effective witness of Christ in the life of someone that we could have influenced and impacted profoundly for God’s Kingdom. This is dangerous, and we really need to think things through.
In Luke 17:1-4(NLT), Jesus Christ taught the disciples, “1There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! 2 It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin. 3 So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”
In this passage, “one of these little ones” is a person that God has predestined as one of His own. Some believe that he is referring to young children only, but Jesus is referring to all God’s children, especially those that are just getting started in the Word and learning the Way. All of us are offended at some point, this is true, but Jesus warns that woe is the fate of someone that causes spiritual infants to become so offended in the faith that they fall into sin.
Many of us claim to have our eyes so steadfastly fixed upon the Master, but when a man comes into our lives, some of us forget who we are. Meeting someone new and having a relationship with him is not a time to let our stand on the solid rock to slip, especially when we’re not clear about what we’re working with while dating. Our eyes must be fixed upon Jesus Christ no matter who is in our lives or what our agendas may be. God commands us in 1Corinthians 16:13(NKJV) to “Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.” We can never let our guards down in a relationship. The love of Christ should be our first priority, and it must be the lasting witness we leave on anyone we meet.
James 1:22(NLT) tells us, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” We can be sure of one thing; the love of God in Christ never sours. If we’re unsure about that truth, we’re fooling ourselves. We’re obligated by Christ to love others with his brand of love, not our own. 1Corinthians 13:4 tells us that his love—real, true, authentic love—is forgiving, kind, keeps no record of being wronged and doesn’t demand its own way. If this isn’t the love we’re prepared to give to the man we desire, it isn’t the love we should expect to receive.
It’s entirely possible that “One of these little ones” is the person we’re dating, and if we place our agenda ahead of God’s agenda for their lives, we’re not behaving like doers of the Word but deceiving ourselves. It’s our responsibility as believers to guard our hearts so that we don’t get out of pocket and change the trajectory of a man’s relationship with God. We must pray for this not to happen so that we are the kind of witnesses God is pleased with.
Ephesians 6:11(NKJV) tells us, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” It would be naïve of us to think that the enemy will not try to make our hearts, or the hearts of our boyfriends, sour in our relationships. We should know that this is his target, and if we allow him to win in one relationship, we will most likely do it in others. God offers us a better way and it is to put on the whole armor that He provides. We must be diligent to renew our minds and put on the mind of Christ, so that if our hearts grow sour in any relationship we are blessed to cultivate, we will turn them to the sweetness of Christ through forgiveness, patience, and a desire to always put God first. ■
Matthew 9:37-38(NLT) “He said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.””
The word, “harvest” is a very good one, and a good harvest is a very beautiful thing. Harvest is connected to increase, and increase is what many of us are praying to receive in this season of our lives. Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 9:38 to pray to the Lord that is in charge of the harvest, and he doesn’t stop there. He tells us exactly what we ought to be praying for. We should be praying that God will send more workers in the field. Jesus also makes it plain to us that our Heavenly Father is the Owner of the harvest, the fields, and the workers, and this is a very important piece of knowledge for us to have.
During the time in which he walked the earth, in Matthew 9:37, Jesus Christ told the disciples that the harvest was great, but the workers that were needed to bring in the harvest were few. This is very much the condition of our time as well. There is so much confusion and despair in the world today. It’s chaotic and dark, with divisions and strife everywhere. People desperately need the kind of direction and guidance that our God can give, and it’s our responsibility and privilege to share the saving grace of our Father in Heaven. We might think to ourselves, “It’s not that many people out there that truly want to know about Jesus.” None of us can really say whether this is true or not, but even if this number is shrinking, as followers of Christ, it isn’t our concern.
God is in charge of the harvest. He takes care of that. Our responsibility is to do as He has commanded. We must make sure that we haven’t missed a beat when it comes to following the Holy Spirit’s promptings, and that as laborers in God’s fields, we have used our span of influence to bless and uplift according to the Spirit’s direction. There should be no doubt in our minds that discipleship is extremely important to backing our faith and positioning ourselves to please God.
Jesus Christ told the disciples in Mark 16:15(NLT), “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone.” This is the Great Commission, to share the Gospel, make disciples of those who want to accept Christ, and teach them so they can be filled with the Holy Spirit. This is how we partner with God, and 2Corinthians 6:1(NLT) says, “As God’s partners, we beg you not to accept this marvelous gift of God’s kindness and then ignore it.” When we have accepted the gift of salvation, we can’t ignore it by keeping it to ourselves. It’s the love of God in Christ! We are required to share it. This is the one crucial truth that many single believers miss.
We must understand that a heart that is eager and diligent to carry forth the Great Commission is the same heart that God requires in a man and woman before they marry. The harvest, the field, and the workers all belong to our Heavenly Father, and 1Corinthians 3:9 tells us that we are both God’s workers and His field. So, it’s not about our agendas, it’s about God’s Will and plan. 1Corinthians 3:7 says that the one who plants aren’t more important than the One who waters. Our Heavenly Father is our everything! It’s all about Him, and when we commit ourselves to the work that He’s called us to do, we will witness a harvest in every area of our lives.■
Proverbs 15:13(NLT) says, “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.” It’s a pretty well-known fact that joy, contentment, and happiness can add tremendously to our lives. When we’re happy and content, those in the medical profession tell us that it can even improve our physical health. There’s a glow about us when we feel all is well with our worlds, and this is magnified exponentially when we’ve found that special one. When our significant relationships are going well, and things are progressing in a very pleasing way, we are in our happy zone like never before. We wear a smile as bright as the prettiest ornament on a Christmas tree. But when the ‘boo’ is not as pleasing as he once was, or he’s missing in action, that happy face turns upside down, and we forget about what it is to have a glad heart. We have to know that this isn’t what God wants for us.
When you are dating a man that isn’t yet your husband, and he hasn’t given you an indication that he wants to be, you must be careful about how you invest in this relationship. Contrary to what the world and society want people to think, a boyfriend is just that. He’s a male that is your friend. That “male-friend” status should not give him a suggestion or assumption that he can assume the rights of a husband, but not the responsibility. The only one that can make this distinction clear to him is you.
I attended an event with a friend at her request. The man she’s been dating on-and-off for years changed his mind at the last moment and would not accompany her. Many of us can relate to her disappointment. Often, she has envisioned him publicly demonstrating his commitment to her as they walk together arm in arm, but continually she is disappointed. Does he have someone else? This is the question so many of us deny and excuse away. We refuse to accept that we’re being deceived and perhaps used, and we continue to accept the man’s behavior.
As women, we know what it feels like to be truly appreciated and valued. We understand that when a man has good intentions towards a relationship with us, he will make himself available to spend quality time in our company. He’ll make us feel special and that we’re one of the most important people in his life. Most of us go out of our way to make the significant male-friend in our lives feel that way, why would we accept less than we’re willing and capable of giving? We do ourselves a great disservice by behaving this way, because here’s the reality; if we’ll accept crumbs, crumbs are all we will get.
It’s certainly plausible that a man that causes us to have a sad face and a broken heart more than he causes a happy face and joyful heart may be involved with someone else. Many women are in denial about this, and because they are closing their minds and hearts to the truth, there’s no opening for wisdom to get in. Most of us desire the opportunity to walk together with someone in a relationship that is blessed with the liberty of Christ, where there’s no mess and heavy baggage weighing it down. Well, how can we have this without the truth?
Jesus Christ said in John 8:32(NLT), “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” We can’t have a relationship where Jesus Christ is the head without knowing God’s truth. God tells us in Proverbs 4:5 to get wisdom and develop good judgment. Good judgment is honoring ourselves as God’s beloved daughters who deserve His best. It’s not putting our heads in the sand and denying the fact that we’re allowing ourselves to want someone that doesn’t truly honor who we are. We’re being lied to and manipulated, and that is not God’s Will for any of His daughters.
God’s Will for our lives is to give us a blessed future and an ever-expanding hope. He is full of mercy and grace, and He requires us to have faith in Him to present us with a man that will love us through the love of Christ. Some of us have been so bamboozled by counterfeits that we have forgotten what a good man is. Let’s go to God’s Word and be in prayer that Heavenly Father etches His Will upon our hearts and minds. We must not want less for ourselves than what He desires to give us. Wanting the best for your life is never about ego. It’s about trusting that the man God wants for you will inspire and uplift you, so that you can be all that God created you to be. If you’re confident you have the capacity and desire to do the same for him, don’t accept less. ■
Proverbs 15:13(NLT) says, “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.” It’s a pretty well-known fact that joy, contentment, and happiness can add tremendously to our lives. When we’re happy and content, those in the medical profession tell us that it can even improve our physical health. There’s a glow about us when we feel all is well with our worlds, and this is magnified exponentially when we’ve found that special one. When our significant relationships are going well, and things are progressing in a very pleasing way, we are in our happy zone like never before. We wear a smile as bright as the prettiest ornament on a Christmas tree. But when the ‘boo’ is not as pleasing as he once was, or he’s missing in action, that happy face turns upside down, and we forget about what it is to have a glad heart. We have to know that this isn’t what God wants for us.
When you are dating a man that isn’t yet your husband, and he hasn’t given you an indication that he wants to be, you must be careful about how you invest in this relationship. Contrary to what the world and society want people to think, a boyfriend is just that. He’s a male that is your friend. That “male-friend” status should not give him a suggestion or assumption that he can assume the rights of a husband, but not the responsibility. The only one that can make this distinction clear to him is you.
I attended an event with a friend at her request. The man she’s been dating on-and-off for years changed his mind at the last moment and would not accompany her. Many of us can relate to her disappointment. Often, she has envisioned him publicly demonstrating his commitment to her as they walk together arm in arm, but continually she is disappointed. Does he have someone else? This is the question so many of us deny and excuse away. We refuse to accept that we’re being deceived and perhaps used, and we continue to accept the man’s behavior.
As women, we know what it feels like to be truly appreciated and valued. We understand that when a man has good intentions towards a relationship with us, he will make himself available to spend quality time in our company. He’ll make us feel special and that we’re one of the most important people in his life. Most of us go out of our way to make the significant male-friend in our lives feel that way, why would we accept less than we’re willing and capable of giving? We do ourselves a great disservice by behaving this way, because here’s the reality; if we’ll accept crumbs, crumbs are all we will get.
It’s certainly plausible that a man that causes us to have a sad face and a broken heart more than he causes a happy face and joyful heart may be involved with someone else. Many women are in denial about this, and because they are closing their minds and hearts to the truth, there’s no opening for wisdom to get in. Most of us desire the opportunity to walk together with someone in a relationship that is blessed with the liberty of Christ, where there’s no mess and heavy baggage weighing it down. Well, how can we have this without the truth?
Jesus Christ said in John 8:32(NLT), “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” We can’t have a relationship where Jesus Christ is the head without knowing God’s truth. God tells us in Proverbs 4:5 to get wisdom and develop good judgment. Good judgment is honoring ourselves as God’s beloved daughters who deserve His best. It’s not putting our heads in the sand and denying the fact that we’re allowing ourselves to want someone that doesn’t truly honor who we are. We’re being lied to and manipulated, and that is not God’s Will for any of His daughters.
God’s Will for our lives is to give us a blessed future and an ever-expanding hope. He is full of mercy and grace, and He requires us to have faith in Him to present us with a man that will love us through the love of Christ. Some of us have been so bamboozled by counterfeits that we have forgotten what a good man is. Let’s go to God’s Word and be in prayer that Heavenly Father etches His Will upon our hearts and minds. We must not want less for ourselves than what He desires to give us. Wanting the best for your life is never about ego. It’s about trusting that the man God wants for you will inspire and uplift you, so that you can be all that God created you to be. If you’re confident you have the capacity and desire to do the same for him, don’t accept less. ■
Luke 12:48 (NLT) “But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return’ and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.”
It’s no secret that there are many believers that have been praying to cross paths with their future spouses. Some are exasperated because they believe they’re no closer to finding this person than they were when they first prayed about it. Saved or not, many people blame God when things do not work out for them. They think that God is withholding the blessings they desire most, but nothing could be further from the truth. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t withhold blessings from His children. So, if marriage is something we desire, we’d do ourselves the greatest favor if we strike this notion from our minds, and free up that mental space for our faith to grow.
Genesis 1:28 makes it clear that God has placed the authority and dominion for successful living into the hands of human beings. Adam and Eve lost this authority and dominion when they bowed to satan, but God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to restore it. Our Master Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that satan came to the earth to steal, kill, and destroy our lives. If we continue to perpetuate the disobedience against God as Adam and Eve did, we will remain under the devil’s realm of darkness. But if we accept the Lord Jesus Christ and all that God accomplished through him, we can have a life that is more than abundant.
Most of us would be satisfied with just living abundantly, but Ephesians 3:20(NKJV) tells us, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” Our Heavenly Father deals in the “exceedingly abundantly”. This is the overflowing reality that He has made available to us in life. The problem is that most of us do not believe this, and we are not praying to our Heavenly Father to receive a revelation of all that Christ accomplished for us. Whether we know it or not, having a clear understanding about God’s nature, His incredible love for us, and our identity in Christ is our first responsibility to the faith. God requires this from us, and it should be our priority above any other thing.
In Luke 12:48, Jesus Christ is teaching about responsibility and accountability. He is motivating believers to understand the significance of our actions, because our choices and decisions in life have molded and shaped the reality we are facing today. We want to blame God for our predicaments and say that He has not seen fit to bless us, but the truth is that we each are blessed immeasurably more than we can imagine. So, the question isn’t a matter of whether we are blessed, it’s a matter that is solely based on how we have used what God has given.
He has blessed us in such a way that we can operate out of His overflow. 2Corinthians 9:8(NLT) tells us, “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” The purpose of God’s blessing is never to hoard it for ourselves, but to generously share it with others. All of this is ordained by Him for the uplifting of His Kingdom and glory, and the accountability for not doing this in the way that God requires must be acknowledged, accepted, and repented.
God set up the foundation of this world through His brilliance, power, and love. From the very beginning, He abundantly poured into our lives, and He commands us to live a life of giving and loving others through His love. This is our responsibility, and it will never be altered. We cannot ignore this aspect of God’s plan.
Accountability and responsibility to God demands us to look at how we honor God’s goodness and kindness. We must look at how we’ve obeyed His Word and whether we’ve yielded our entire lives to Him. In truth, many of us have yielded our lives to the man, and by giving our bodies to men outside the boundaries of marriage, we have proven our willingness to choose the man over God.
We must show our humility to honor God’s requirement. He is not withholding a loving spouse from anyone. He has empowered us to reign in life through the example of Jesus Christ. He’s given us the power to make choices and decisions that will magnetize us to His blessings, but these blessings are contained in Jesus Christ. This means that the degree to which we live abundantly is in direct proportion to the degree to which we live God’s Word and live according to the example of Jesus Christ.
From the beginning, God gave us free-will choice. From the beginning, He expressed His overwhelming love for us, and from the beginning, He empowered us to have success in our lives. He has made it very plain to us in Luke 12:48 that “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return’ and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” God has given us liberty in Christ, and He’s given us a purpose within His divine plan. Focus your every effort on laying up treasures that can be stored in heaven. Pray for greater revelation regarding your call and be more committed to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. When the Father sees our commitment to honor Him in this way, He will be pleased, and we will witness the exceedingly abundantly in every aspect of our lives. ■
Jesus Christ has shown us that love requires sacrifice. He left his Father’s throne of immeasurable glory and splendor to come to earth. He came on a mission from God to save humankind. Our King was born in a manger, and this demonstrates his incredible humility. At any moment during his time on earth, he could have summoned a legion of angels at his side. He said in Matthew 26:53(NIV), “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” 12 legions is 72,000 angels. They would have been by his side in less time than a blink of an eye, but he didn’t summon them. He knew that sacrificing his life was his mission and endured the cross because of his overwhelming love for every person. Jesus Christ revealed the perfect and pure love of God, who sacrificed His one and only begotten Son for us all.
Jesus Christ has shown us the way to live through God’s love. His example is the one we must follow because he’s given us the standard of love that pleases God. It’s God’s standard of love, and it causes us to live according to God’s purpose. As women of faith, sometimes we underestimate God’s allegiance to His standards, and we have a mindset of accepting less than what God wants to give us. This is especially true in our desire for a real and lasting significant relationship.
God commands in Ephesians 5:25(NLT), “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This is God’s standard for the way a man should love his wife. This level of devotion sets the kind of loyalty and respect that all men should have for all women. It also sets the bar for the expectation of any woman praying to be a wife. As a woman, you can’t build this kind of capacity in a man. He should have it when you meet him.
I have a friend that was very sick with the flu. She sounded as bad as she was feeling. It was apparent she was having a rough time with it, and I was surprised to hear that she was handling things on her own. She rekindled a relationship with a male friend that she dated a while ago. Things were going well for the last few months, but her bout with the flu brought out something that was apparent to everyone but her. When I asked, she told me that her boyfriend knew how ill she was, but he didn’t come by, not even once. She said to me, “He did offer to bring me some soup, but I didn’t want to be a burden, so I told him not to bother.”
There’s a fundamental truth that every woman must know; if you accept it, that is all you will get. Some of us expect that our love will make a man gain a greater capacity to love overnight. It simply isn’t true. Only the love of God can transform a person, and to love God is to do what He says. 1John 2:5(NLT) tells us, “But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him.” As women of faith, this must be the foundation of all that we do.
God expects us to expand in Christ with each passing day. This means that we are loving others greater through him. In other words, our capacity to love and walk with power increases as we grow in Christ. This is God’s standard, and it is one in which we will never have to make excuses for a man that isn’t loving us the way he should. If we make a place in our hearts for a man that isn’t giving us the love we deserve—the love we are capable and willing to give him, then we’re throwing out the welcome mat for heartache and pain. When it comes to real love, don’t accept a little dab here and a little dab there. Christ made a way for us to live through his love, and this is the way we should choose.
Fully knowing and appreciating the sacrifice of Christ gives us the lens by which we can love and be loved. Loving and living through Jesus Christ will give us the wisdom to know that a man may not have a fancy job title or big bank account; what matters is that he has a big heart and sees loving you as one of the greatest blessings of his life. God says you deserve this. You should believe it, and never accept less. ■
Walking almost a mile in the snow, Mel’s feet were frozen stiff, and she thought to herself more than once, “I can’t feel my toes anymore!” She scolded herself for wearing her cute boots instead of the ones Michael had recommended for snowy weather. He was trekking almost twenty feet ahead of her, but Mel was too tired and cold to be angry that Michael had left her behind. He, on the other hand, was still fuming and giving her a serious silent treatment. The airport was small, and there wasn’t much in the way of businesses nearby, that’s why Michael had stressed the need to double-check their reservations. Not a fan of cold weather, Mel wasn’t gung ho about the trip in the first place, but she honestly thought she had made the reservations. As it turned out, she didn’t, and they were stranded at the airport on the busiest day of the year.
Michael’s favorite cousin was getting married in a small town in upstate New York, and because he refused to wait any longer, they ended up walking to the nearest car rental office. The entire way, Michael didn’t say a word to her, not even when they finally got a rental and made it to the hotel. He warmed up and spoke two or three words to her once they were settled in a bit, but all Mel could think about was that long, cold mile. Michael didn’t turn his head once to see if she was okay, and it broke her heart.
They’d been together a little over six months. Things were progressing beautifully, and Mel had begun to imagine what being ‘Mrs. Melody Bryant’ would be like. Michael is a firefighter. He’s very attractive, and up until their trip together, he had totally swept Mel off her feet. They met after his move from Maryland to Atlanta, and they both threw out the welcome mat and made space for each other to comfortably fit into their individual lives. They wanted to be open to each other because they wanted to be together. Michael had met Mel’s mother, stepfather, and two sisters, and the family was ecstatic that they were a couple.
Their faces were all Mel thought about as she contemplated how to handle the incredible hurt and disappointment she was now feeling. On so many occasions, Michael’s kindness had left her speechless, but he wasn’t who she thought he was, and nothing would ever be the same. She left before his cousin’s wedding, and for the next few weeks, she did everything she could to disconnect from Michael.
Jesus Christ teaches us in John 10:10(ESV), “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Jesus Christ wants us to know that we have an enemy, and he wants to steal and destroy our blessings, and he wants to kill and destroy us. This may sound ominous and scary to some, but regardless of how it sounds, it is the truth. We must be spiritually prepared to stand back to back with our partner, both man and woman must be fully equipped with the spiritual armor God provides. It’s not a game, it’s serious business. We have a spiritual enemy, and human weapons will not cut it when it comes to battling evil.
We have such difficulty in relationships because when we get into them, many of us fail to build them on a foundation of God’s strength and power. We do not place Jesus Christ in his rightful position as the head of all our unions, and this is a big mistake. Ephesians 1:22(NLT) says, “God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church.” There is no equal in all eternity to the power and authority that God has given His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We desperately need this power in our relationships. And to be clear, we need this power to recognize the person God sends.
The disappointment and pain we experience when a relationship is derailed can send us into emotional shock. We don’t know how to handle it because our faith in God isn’t where it needs to be. Someone has done something to undermine our confidence and greatly diminish our clarity. We no longer have what we thought we did, and this can be emotionally overwhelming.
Many women have been in Mel’s position and handled the situation quite differently. Some of them might have made excuses for Michael’s behavior and said, “It’s been a long day, and he’s just tired and upset. He’ll get over it.” Others would have given Michael a piece of their minds. They would have met his attitude with an even saucier one. With Mel, there was something deeper going on. Her biological father was an alcoholic whose angry tirades made their lives horrible when she was a child. She remembered the look on his face when he was about to blow, and Michael’s anger gave her a glimpse of that.
After weeks of him trying to connect with her, Mel finally agreed to meet Michael. It was on a Saturday afternoon, and she arrived at the coffee shop intentionally early, so she’d have an opportunity to settle herself before he arrived. Mel was more nervous and emotional than she could remember, and the flipflopping in her belly had been non-stop for the last two days. Michael, the sweetest man she thought she had ever known had revealed a mean streak. It was biting and vengeful, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was only the tip of an iceberg. She dreaded the thought of discovering that he had only been pretending over the last several months and that allowing him in her life had been a big mistake.
Significant relationships have a tremendous impact on our lives. The wrong person can cause more damage than we can imagine, and they can be used to undermine our relationship with God. Causing a wedge between us and our faith in God is the enemy’s aim, and if we allow an opening, he will weaponize the people we love and use them against us. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to not allow this opening for enemy attack. We can be preemptive by letting the Spirit guide us according to God’s Will. Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” As women, we must understand with crystal clarity that romance cannot replace the truth. With any significant relationship, we must pray continually for wisdom and good judgement, and when the Spirit reveals the truth, we must have the courage to accept it.
Sometimes, we need to be alone with God and ourselves only, and we have to do this for a while in order to come to a place of clarity, and it’s a kind of clarity that only the Holy Spirit can give. This is the gift Mel gave to herself. It was one of the most challenging things she had ever done, because she wanted Michael in her life, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to let him go.
He walked into the coffee shop, and the sound of his greeting was calm and warm, and she thought she’d melt, but she refused to betray herself in that moment. Mel was prayed up, and her inner pleas were for the Lord to strengthen her and give her the right words to say. He did. After an hour or so of easing in, they talked about that night, when she left him before his cousin’s wedding. Until that moment, she had not realized how deeply it hurt him. They had both punished each other, and only the Lord Jesus Christ could help them heal and grow in His love.
Significant relationships that can potentially lead to marriage are filled with bliss, but they can also reveal characteristics in the other person that are immature, toxic, and very challenging to deal with. Can we successfully navigate through these? Absolutely, but not without Jesus Christ. God has a plan for our marital partnership, and He will send the right person. The very best scenario is to pray and ask the Lord to grow you up in Christ before you meet him, so that you can be spiritually prepared to faith your way through any obstacles.■
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