Find A Christian Man

Tag: encouragement for Christian singles

  • With God’s Blessing, Go Ahead and Marry

    With God’s Blessing, Go Ahead and Marry

    There might be areas in your life where you don’t feel it’s absolutely crucial for you to have the best, but I guarantee you that the life-time commitment of marriage isn’t one of them. This is the one place where we want God to pile on the good stuff. Our future spouse doesn’t have to be the smartest, finest, most handsome or talented; but when it comes to his commitment to the marriage and his loyalty to family, we want serious ‘A’ game!

    And rightly so. There is very little that compares to a spouse that you can count on to be faithful and put you above all the other people in his life. After all, this is the standard that Heavenly Father has set for the husband. He tells us in Ephesians 5:25, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” That’s some standard isn’t it?! Jesus Christ was so incredibly steadfast in his love for the body, that he gave up everything so that we could be reconciled to God. Because of his love, we have a barometer to measure how we should be loved by our spouses as well.

    Were it not for the life, ministry, and sacrifice of Christ; we couldn’t have an expectation about loyalty and faithfulness, but Jesus Christ passed every love test. He demonstrated God’s heart towards us, and now we can have every hope that we will not only live up to this standard, but that we will experience the fruit of it in the form of a loving and committed spouse.

    One of the blockers that keeps us from manifesting the luscious fruit that God has in store for us is the sin of fornication. This isn’t popular to say, but it’s the truth. A marriage must have a strong foundation, and you cannot build a strong foundation on a lie. That’s a sure way to have one big mess on your hands. When you mention the sin of fornication, one of the first things that people will say is that no one is perfect. This is true, but if we are of the household of faith, we are being perfected in Christ day by day.

    All of us sin and fall short of the glory of God. And when you get right down to it, this is really the definition of sin. It’s falling short of the glory of God, and thereby falling short of the glory of which He wants to envelop our lives. In other words, we diminish the good stuff that Heavenly Father wants to lavish on us by continuing to do the things that He has told us not to do.

    Heavenly Father tells us in 1Corinthians 6:18 (NLT), “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” God doesn’t want to make our pleasure any less. Through His Word He gives us the very information, knowledge, and wisdom that is going to position us for blessings and increase. This is always His heart. It’s up to us whether or not we take heed. If we don’t honor God by obeying His Word, we can’t lay up treasures for ourselves in heaven. Instead, we leave them exposed; where the enemy can get to them and destroy them. Many sisters have given their bodies away so many times, that they are depleting what’s left in the heavenly storehouse for them when it comes to finding the right man.

    You might have experienced times when you’ve met someone that you liked, but things didn’t click. The timing seemed off, or you didn’t feel a certain chemistry. Sometimes this isn’t a matter of chemistry, it’s the protection of the Holy Spirit, keeping us from hurting ourselves further through fornication. He’s helping us to preserve ourselves so that we don’t cancel out or continue to block our blessings.

    In 1Corinthians 7:9 (NLT), Paul said, “But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” The Apostle Paul had a call upon his life that was very different from the apostles we see living today. He was able to abstain from sexual sin, and counted it a privilege to devote himself totally to God’s work. This kind of commitment is rare. Most of us want to enjoy a physical relationship and the Apostle made it clear that if that is the preference, get married! It’s better to marry than to sin. Think about this. In the context of Paul’s level of commitment, it gives us a clue how detrimental sin is.

    People run from the subject of sexual sin, because it is so pervasive in our society. People want to do whatever they want, but make no mistake about it, there’s a cost. God doesn’t love us any less because we sin, and He doesn’t want us wallowing in self-condemnation. He wants the best for us. His goal is for us to build a foundation on which a committed marriage will rest.

    Love yourself as Christ loves the church. Set a standard for your temple. If there’s even a slight chance that fornication might be blocking your blessing of marriage, repent. Ask for Heavenly Father’s forgiveness, and make a commitment to Him to wait until you are presented with the man that is to be your husband. He will confirm it in your heart and in your circumstances that abstaining is exactly what He desires you to do. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “With God’s Blessing, Go Ahead and Marry”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism

    Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism

    How well do you deal with criticism? Not only is this an important question to answer, it points out a spiritual lesson that every single woman will need to learn. Proverbs 3:11(NLT) tells us, “My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.”  This verse lets us know in no uncertain terms that God disciplines and corrects. Very often He does it through others. For instance, someone might point out something within your personality they find offensive or off-putting. This someone just might be your future husband, and your response can either bring you closer or take you further away from the kind of marriage you desire.

    Everyone receives criticism; politicians, religious and spiritual leaders, celebrities, athletes, teachers, doctors, lawyers… you name it. We all receive criticism, but it can hit the hardest when it comes from the person you love, and a lot of us do not handle it well at all. Criticism can be constructive or destructive. In either case, it can be handled with a Godly finesse. One of the ways that a mature Christian person handles criticism of any kind is to first try and make the distinction as to whether it is true or false. If it’s false, we kick it to the curb and keep it moving. However, when something has been pointed out about us that may be hurtful but is accurate, it can lead to correction.

    In order for criticism to be helpful, you and I have to first hear it, and then be humble enough to consider whether it is true. In a heated situation, someone might say something out of spite, but it is important for us to weigh it when cooler heads prevail. Proverbs 18:12 (NLT) tells us, “Haughtiness goes before destruction: humility precedes honor”.  ‘Haughtiness’ is another word for ‘pride’. Pride can lead to missed opportunities, and it can also cause us to go in the wrong direction. Most folks that are arrogant or prideful can’t see correction or direction, they only see themselves, and God isn’t pleased with this kind of mind-and-heart-set.

    The love of God is activated in humility. It allows us to surrender to God, so that He can lovingly correct us and help us to recover what has been lost.

    Another thing that we have to examine is whether we are too consumed with ourselves. This happens frequently with singles. We learn to be self-reliant and sometimes lose a register of sensitivity when it comes to the needs of others. The problem is that it becomes extremely difficult to recognize your faults or weaknesses if you’re consumed with yourself. Some people talk about their problems relentlessly. They’re not necessarily egotistical, but they too focused on themselves to realize that it isn’t always about them. In order to grow, you must humble your heart enough to admit you have imperfections. Even if they seem harmless to you, they could be harming your preparedness to partner. To the extent that they stand in the way of your blessing, you will need to address them.

    Hebrews 12:11 (NLT) tells us, “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”  Sometimes we forget that God holds our futures. He knows our pasts, and He sees our tomorrows. We might not recognize a situation that will cause us to lose out on an opportunity or a blessing, but God knows every nook and cranny of it. If we are prayerful and humble, God can prepare us to respond in a way that minimizes collateral damage. So, when we hear criticism from others, the best practice is to seek God about it, and let Him speak to you on the matter.

    Heavenly Father’s number one goal for us is to grow in Christ. When we allow the love of Christ to expand in our hearts, the Holy Spirit can lead us down the path to the blessings we desire. The truth is that we don’t always pay attention to his guiding hand. We miss important directions, and we skip details that would qualify our best effort. These kinds of misses can add up and cost us big time. We are blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father who is always rooting for us to be the best, and He is willing to teach and help us achieve it.

    Be sensitive to the fact that the sting of criticism can sometimes lead to God’s correction. It would be wonderful if the people who criticize us always did it in love, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes criticism will come from the person we love, and it is levied in a way that crushes us, but God created us to be resilient, humble, and flexible. We can and will bounce back, and hopefully we will learn that criticism is sometimes a way to get our attention. If we examine it with careful scrutiny, it might help us to grow in Christ and become more pliable to God’s Will. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Should He Trust You With His Heart?

    Should He Trust You With His Heart?

    A person once said that he was so hurt by a comment his ex-girlfriend made, that he never saw her in the same light again. Their relationship was decimated by her hurtful words; so much so that after she spoke them, her boyfriend was repelled by the thought of being in her company for any length of time. Proverbs 18:21(NLT) tells us “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” I realize that this may be a verse that most of us have heard numerous times, but if you’re reading this, you’re in the business of spiritually preparing for marriage. Preparation means that we need to look under the hood of scripture several times, so that the revelation of it really sinks into our brain cells.

    This is a simple and short verse, but it packs a powerful punch. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that our tongues can be weapons that not only hurt others, but they also can rob us of blessings as well. Sometimes we forget the impact of what we say and how easily offensive we can be with our words. In the case of the man I mentioned, he and his girlfriend were not having a heated argument, and she was not intentionally lashing out at him in anger. The truth of it is that she made two very distinct, harmful, and common mistakes.

    God tells us in Hebrews 10:17 that when we seek His forgiveness for our sins, He remembers them no more. Most of us are not this way. When someone does or says something to hurt our feelings, we might let it go to a certain extent, but just let a heated situation come to roost. The sting of that past hurt will spark again, and we’ll hit the replay button on that scenario with a quickness. Five years could have passed, but some of us will still bring up that scabbed over incident in an argument. The point is that people are not as quick to forget past offences as some of us think. We need to always keep this in mind, particularly when it comes to our future spouses or the important person in our lives.

    In our relationships with men, one of the common mistakes that we make is to forget that they are more sensitive than we think. Once a man lets you into his heart, he makes himself more vulnerable than perhaps he lets on. We can’t play the naïve card on this one; we’re too intuitive for that. We know when the man has made space for us in his heart, even if it’s a small one. As a Christian woman, we should be particularly sensitive to this, and it should make us more grounded in our responsibility to pay close attention to what we say.

    The other harmful mistake that sister-girl made, and again, all of us do this at some point with our words, is forgetting the lasting impression they make. Think back to a time when someone said something to you that hurt your feelings. You haven’t forgotten it. Even though you have probably forgiven the person, the sting of their words is still in the background of your consciousness, and you wouldn’t want to relive the situation. So again, words can cause irreparable damage in a relationship. As someone praying and preparing to meet the man that will ultimately be your husband, your well of sensitivity needs to be deepened now, and not later.

    As Christians, we should use our mouths to uplift and inspire those around us, and not let an untamed tongue get away from us. We can potentially make a statement to the important man in our life that can leave wounds that stick around with him for a very long time. They will often put up a valiant front on the outside, but this is just a shield.

    The last thing that you want is for the words you’ve spoken to injure your partner; it harms your relationship. So, a great preparation strategy is to pray about this sooner rather than later. God knows this very moment the man that will be your husband. Pray that Heavenly Father will prepare you by bringing any impulsive tendencies that you may have to your attention. Pray that He will help you to develop the well of sensitivity and compassion that is going to bless your future husband and inspire him to trust you with his heart. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Should He Trust You With His Heart?” written by FACM ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

  • The Boomerang Effect

    The Boomerang Effect

    Very soon, the one day of the year that we have chosen to supercharge love and put it on blast will be upon us. For some people, it is a very happy day, and for others…not so much. If it is a day that makes your blues even bluer, I have a suggestion. Why not let it be a day where you bask even more in God’s love and let the expectation of meeting someone new take your faith to a whole other level! This is absolutely doable, and it is something that single Christians should embrace. On the one hand, yep, the holiday can get super worldly and commercialized to the hilt; but on the other hand, as Christians we walk by faith and not by sight, so we can always see the light of Christ where others may not.

    All the beauty that any of us can ever offer stems from the Lily of the Valley, that bright and morning star, Jesus Christ! Because of him, we are able to offer our love to others, and have the greatest expectation that this love we offer will have a positive impact, and that it will return to us all the hope and joy in which it was given. Without the love of Christ, there really isn’t ever anything to celebrate; but with him, we have the fullness of joy.

    We are planted in this world, and we grow up with thorns all around us, but we have to be so careful that our blossoms are colorful, full, and fragrant with the sweet aroma of Christ. We can’t be dry and rough to the touch, and sometimes the bitterness of a dry patch of loneliness will do this to a woman’s heart. Instead of focusing on Christ, and allowing his love to water her soul, she might focus only on the hurt and disappointment of the past; or she might allow doubt to spring up in her heart. She might convince herself that God is not going to bless her with a wonderful partner. These kinds of thoughts and feelings keep us from abiding in the love of Christ the way that he desires.

    There’s something about the prospect of a new relationship on the horizon that can suddenly make a person feel brand new. God designed us in such a way that when we draw near to the person of our affection, we get all giddy inside as the butterflies begin to flutter in our bellies. This is how Jesus Christ feels about us. We bring to him this level of anticipation and adoration, and this is one of the reasons why God calls us the bride of Christ. In Song of Solomon 2:11-13 (NLT), we can see his heart. It says, “Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. 12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. 13 The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling!”

    You might not live in an area where the winters are brutal, but I have a little experience in that area. Let me tell you that when winter is over, and the flowers begin to spring up, many people are very thankful that the brutal cold air and harsh conditions have passed. The introduction of spring wakes up your body in an indescribable way, and you feel a tinge of something invigorating happening. A person that is pessimistic or sad might immediately squash that tinge of hopefulness and tell themselves that nothing is going to be different, but that isn’t how a Christian should respond. Jesus Christ wants us to come alive to him and the tremendous hope that he brings to our lives in every season—with every day that goes by.

    In Song of Solomon 2:11-13, we have a taste of the affection of Christ towards his bride, the church. The newness and humility of this expression can’t be lost on us. We train our minds how to think and our emotions how to feel. Heavenly Father wants us to allow the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us to retrain ourselves with the mind and heart of Christ, so that we are eager for him and all that he brings. We should breathe in his wonder, and exhale the most earnest and dear affection for him.

    The Apostle Paul affirms in Acts 17:28(NKJV), “for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’”  The meaning and fulfillment that we get out of life comes from knowing that we belong to the Father, and from matching our Lord’s example. Jesus Christ is not pessimistic and unhopeful, and we shouldn’t be either. Our groove should be in step with his, because he is always in rhythm with the Will of the Father.

    The holidays, the change of seasons, both are reminders that nothing harsh last for long, and life is truly worth celebrating. We may not feel giddy inside about a new person, but we certainly ought to feel that way about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We should choose to use the approaching day of love to celebrate our love for God in Christ through the Holy Spirit. We should also expect that as we do, at some point it’s going to boomerang back to us from a most endearing man of God. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Written by writers of FACM for FindingChristianMan.com copyright © 2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God in Jesus Christ.

     

     

  • “Anger Labels You A Fool”

    “Anger Labels You A Fool”

    Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT)
    “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”

    Relationships can be very delicate, particularly while they are in the beginning stages. It is a time when you want the person of your affection to see you in the most positive light. Many of us think very highly of ourselves. We think we’ve got it all figured out, and therefore, we want the significant person in our lives to believe this as well. The truth is that there are a great many things we haven’t figured out. There is a side to us that we haven’t yet explored.

    One of the reasons why relationships blow up is because many of us sabotage them through our own fears, and our issues with self-control and lack of trust. We explode in ways that we never imagined we would. It could be because we are insecure or jealous. It could also be because we feel trapped, but we haven’t yet admitted it to ourselves. It could be any one of several internal factors that can cause us to work against ourselves in a relationship. This is why we desperately need the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is also why we should know ourselves well enough to be able to confront and admit our trouble spots.

    The optimum situation for any two people who come together in a relationship is for them to have allowed themselves the time to mature in Christ. They need to know a bit about their strengths and weaknesses. God instructs us to be wise. Being wise is allowing God’s Word to instruct us. This is particularly true for the areas where we’re not as strong as we’d like to be or should be.

    Wisdom dictates that we become very careful observers of ourselves. In a conversation or interaction, most of us can sense when a potential for something to strike our chords the wrong way is mounting. You can feel the reaction boiling up within you. The worse thing in the world is to allow yourself to explode in anger. God warns us in Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT), “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”

    A fool is a person that acts unwisely, and uncontrolled anger makes a fool out of us. It undermines our authority in Christ, and causes us to move in reverse rather than forwardly. It can ruin a relationship and be very devastating to our lives. God’s wisdom will preserve us and help us to make sound decisions and choices. Proverbs 2:10-15 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Lady Wisdom will be your close friend, and Brother Knowledge your pleasant companion. Good Sense will scout ahead for danger, Insight will keep an eye out for you. They’ll keep you from making wrong turns,”. As we walk in the Spirit, this is what the discipline of Godliness will do for us. So be sure to pray that God helps you to work the fruit of self-control deep in your soul. Then, when you’re with the person you will ultimately marry, you can have confidence in your ability through Christ to strengthen and preserve your relationship.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     ““Anger Labels You A Fool””, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Put Your Words on A Diet

    Put Your Words on A Diet

    John 1:1 tells us that in the beginning was the Word of God, and we know from Genesis that Heavenly Father literally spoke things into existence. This gives us some indication of how incredibly potent words can be. Our mouths are no play thing, for with them confessions are made. When we first came to Christ, God accepted us based on the earnest confession of our mouths. We had to ask for forgiveness and confess Jesus Christ as the Lord of our lives before we could be saved from a life of sin and death. The words we spoke had eternal consequences. That’s mind blowing! The light was switched on in our consciousness as our spirits were born-again and awakened to newness. All of this occurred by speaking forth words from the most earnest place in our hearts. There can be no doubt that God placed an incredible power in our tongues, and it is our responsibility to ensure that the quality and the quantity of our words is just right.

    Proverbs 18:20 (NLT) tells us, “Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.” There is so much power in the words we choose, and even more so in how we use them. When it comes to the life we have before us, some of us are dissatisfied. And it is either that we haven’t used enough of the right words, or we’ve used too many of the wrong ones. Many people have a problem with accepting this level of accountability, but that has no bearing whatsoever on the truth of this. Our confessions, the words we speak, have tremendous impact on not only the life we have, but they lay the ground work for the future to come.

    Proverbs 18:21 affirms that death and life are in the power of the tongue. When you allow yourself to take in the full breath of this truth, you begin to truly understand what it is to be a spiritual being. God has equipped us through our physicality and spirituality with an instrument of power. We can actually create an internal blueprint of intangible, intellectual reasoning called thoughts. We conjure up emotions to support those thoughts, and then through the physical manipulation of our vocal chords, we deliver tangible evidence of our thoughts externally through the apparatus of our tongues. That’s absolutely amazing! Let no one tell you differently, we were magnificently created and designed by The Almighty.

    So now we have before us the elements of a worthy and intelligent question. It is this, when it comes to our quests to be married, could it be that our thoughts and words have given our faith indigestion?

    If this is the case, then the only logical choice is to put our words on a diet. We need to cut out the saltiness and season them wisely, because God’s Word tells us that wise words satisfy like a good meal.

    This feeling of being satisfied with the fullness of life is the destiny of every single Christian woman that desires to be married. It is also the privilege and testimony of their faith to use their words, feelings, and deeds to position themselves to reap the harvest of a good husband.

    As Christians, our mouths should be used to uplift and inspire, but there are times when an untamed tongue will win.  James 3:5 (NLT) tells us, “So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6; And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.” Don’t make this a habit pattern. It is extremely vital to understand that in a relationship or marriage, if you’re not careful, using your tongue in a hurtful manner is like quick sand – it will sink any relationship. Even when you don’t mean to say them, once those hurtful words are out there, you can’t take them back. They are like boomerangs that will ultimately come around to swipe you.

    Sometimes we forget the impact of what we say and how easily offensive we can be with our words.  Be careful of what and how you say things, because words can cut deeper than any weapon. Peter 3:10 (NLT) warns, “For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”” Try the art of minimization, and let it act as your vocal filter. You’ll be amazed in the strides you make by curtailing your words, and choosing to speak life, or say nothing at all.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Put Your Words on A Diet”, written by FACM for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • “Was That Really You Lord?”

    “Was That Really You Lord?”

    “Was that really You Lord?” is one of those questions that I believe God is very use to His kids asking Him. This is especially true after we’ve made a decision that we thought was on point with the Lord, but the results speak another story entirely. Parents can identify with this. Your child does something that is totally off the wall, and ends up making a huge mess of things. After being confronted they immediately give you the line, “but I thought you said I could!!!” This is the go-to they use to get themselves off the hook.

    Authority is key. The word of the one on whose authority we depend is bond. This is the rack we hang our hats on. Parents are the authority figures for their children. Sometimes, our children can try and play the sneaky card. They do things of which they know the parent would not approve, and will try to manipulate their parent’s authority by saying they believed they received permission, when permission was never given. No new tricks under the sun; this one is classic.

    Instinctively we know that if permission is given, the outcome is not entirely one in which we will bear total responsibility. Part of the outcome can be attributed to the one in authority; the one on whose permission we rested our foray into the unknown. The reasoning behind this is: “It’s not totally my fault if I took a risk, and it didn’t pan out. I did it because I received permission, and I equated permission from my authority figure to the promise of a safe and positive outcome.” This is the kind of mentality we bring into our relationship with God at times.

    Hebrews 4:11-13(NLT) says, “11 Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.

    12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

    As a people who really and truly love God, we need to know that He has provided a way for us enter into rest. Rest is a state of being where there isn’t any chaos; there’s no indifference or struggle. There is a peace that comes with the rest that God provides. This is His goal for us. He tells us that we can’t get to this place of peaceful rest through disobedience. It can only be accessed through obedience.

    Heavenly Father goes on to tell us in Hebrew 4:11 that His Word is alive! It’s not asleep, so there can be no ifs, ands, and buts about the doctrine, instructions, and corrections that His Word provides.  God’s Word is perfect and definitive. When it comes to the whopper conundrums that we sometimes end up with, make no mistake about it, there are instances when we genuinely believe that we’ve heard from God. We believe that He’s given us a green light to proceed. Then, we end up making one of the biggest mistakes of our lives.

    “Was that really you Lord? Didn’t You tell me he was the one? Didn’t You tell me it was okay to marry this man? Why am I now facing this awful situation? I thought You told me that I could proceed and You would make sure that I’d be blessed?” Our Heavenly Father knows the decisions we will make even before we make them. Not only does He know them, but He already has seen the outcome.  In truth, when we leap into making decisions, thinking that God has given us the green light and things don’t end up being the absolute best for us, we should then realize a few things. Chief among them is how much we may have compromised ourselves through impatience. We didn’t give ourselves time to really find out God’s agenda for our lives.

    The Word of God is sharper than any sword because it cuts through the confusion we enter into when we don’t know what to do or which way to turn. This is why we must study His Word. As we get into God’s Word, we can receive wisdom from other sources as well that will back it up. Sometimes through a close friend, family member or even a co-worker, God can help to zap us into consciousness. Some of us begin to recognize the help, but others of us remain asleep and refuse to wake up about what we’re doing. We have a habit of intentionally avoiding what we know is right because we want something on the double.

    Discernment takes wisdom and through wisdom we should know that if we are committed to a life of obedience, God is willing and able to keep our feet from falling in any situation. We are never the worse for being patient. And even when we make the mistake of impatience…when our hearts may get a little bruised from time to time, we’re still in the game of living and learning; and this is always a blessing we should never take for granted.

    So always remember that nothing is ever hidden from God’s sight, and everything with Him is uncovered and laid bare before Him. He will not make decisions for us. We can’t ask God to make guarantees that are already provided through obedience to His Word. Hebrews 4:13 tells us that we are the ones that must give account of our actions. He has made it very plain that He doesn’t keep from us the information we need to hear. He’s told us that His Word is alive and active. Therefore, following His Word will always lead us down the right path, and His Word will never lead us astray. So let’s be very real about this one, because it’s never about whether or not He’s spoken to us. It is always about our willingness to have patience, study, listen, and obey.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Was That Really You Lord?”, written by FACM. FindingChristian Man.com©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • Refresh for Your Marriage Resolution

    Refresh for Your Marriage Resolution

    Praise God and Hallelujah for another year to be the best “YOU” in 2017! This sharing won’t be about making resolutions for the new year, but more so about taking the necessary steps to be renewed in the power of your mind, heart, and spirit, particularly in the area of the marital relationship you desire. As Christians, we owe it to God and ourselves to make the most of every day by trusting and believing God’s promises. 1John 5:4,5 (The Message) says, “Every God-begotten person conquers the world’s ways. The conquering power that brings the world to its knees is our faith. The person who wins out over the world’s ways is simply the one who believes Jesus is the Son of God.” This is good news indeed. So if preparing yourself for matrimony just so happens to be an integral part of your New Year’s resolution, it’s going to be an awesome year for you; and here’s something that will help to make sure that it turns out exactly as you desire.

    It’s no secret that patience is a very important virtue, and it must be exercised in our pursuit of a marital relationship; there can be no doubt about this. But it isn’t God’s Will that the virtuous woman of God wait year after year without her physical, emotional, and spiritual needs being met. Marriage is indeed a ministry, one of the most important and profound ministries of all. As a matter of fact, it was the first ministry that God ordained when He gave Adam and Eve to one another and told them to be fruitful and multiply. So God wants you to marry and blissfully so, and He would never withhold such a blessing from you.

    1John 5:4 tells us that every child of God receives victory over the world, and this conquering power is our faith. The world wants the woman of God to buy into the fallacy that there are no good Christian men left. The world tells us all the time that we are doomed to be alone unless we commit to do all kinds of foolish things to be attractive or relevant. And then, once we’ve altered ourselves to fit the world’s standard, we are disappointed beyond belief with the results. God’s way is the way of faith! There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If we would put as much effort in building our faith as we do in other things, we’d be so much further along. It’s FAITH that produces results when it is backed up by the authority of Jesus Christ!

    What does this mean for you and your commitment to be prepared for marriage in the new year? Well, one of the most effective strategies for overall success is to reduce a big undertaking down to small chewable bites. And so it is with the quest for marriage. A good place to begin is to start with what you know. You know from 1John 5:4 that “The conquering power that brings the world to its knees is our faith.” So it’s essential that you begin to examine ways in which you can build your faith in the area where you are looking to achieve results.

    And as you examine ways to build your faith, you want to remove the things that have blocked you from building it in the past. I know so many sisters who can’t get out of their own way. They have a certain set of standards, and they are unyielding when it comes to finding a man who will fit them. Common sense tells us that if you don’t like the results you’re getting, then you cannot keep doing things the same way. Something has to change. With most of us, these changes must take place inwardly. Once we change inwardly, our outward circumstances will follow suit.

    When it comes to men, it’s good to have standards, but we also have to trust God. And sometimes our standards limit us from aligning ourselves with God’s standard. So we have to be be careful about this. Think about it, why would any woman of God believe that God would not bless her exceeding abundantly above what she is praying to receive? He knows what’s best for us. He knows what we need. So we have to trust Him. We have to remove these limiting beliefs from our minds and hearts, and yield our standard for His, because God’s standard is based solely upon His love. When everything is said and done, God wants our hearts to be broad and big enough that we can love all types of people. And this is something that we have to consider when we go before His throne.

    Instead of clinging so tightly to your assumptions about what you need or don’t need, make some promises to yourself and to God that you will do more than what you’ve been doing, and do less of what didn’t work in the past. This is the best way to refresh yourself in feelings of confidence and thankfulness for what lies ahead.

    It’s time out for what didn’t work yesterday, last week, and especially years gone by. Get your spiritual self in gear and let the love of God be in full effect. Commit to read and study God’s Word. Begin to dedicate yourself to mustard seed acts of faith. And always remember that much can be done with a little, and you’ll get the most out of this year as you grow in God’s love and strength.
    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    “Refresh for Your Marriage Resolution” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man ©2016.   All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • “It’s Just So Unfair!”

    “It’s Just So Unfair!”

    Frustrated business womanJames 3:17 (NLT)
    “17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.”

    “I just can’t go to another wedding! My last single girlfriend just snagged a good man, and I don’t understand it. She hasn’t been on this Christian journey as long as I have, and I don’t think she’s as dedicated as I am. To make matters worse, she’s on her second go around, and I’ve never had a ring on my finger! It just doesn’t seem fair. Where am I going wrong?” This summarizes many of the emails we receive from Sisters that are so frustrated with being single. They don’t understand why things are not working out for them.

    God provides for us a sure Word, a Word that we can count on no matter what, because God’s Word will never fail or falter. We can stand upon it and it will never let us down. In James 3:17, He tells us that His wisdom is pure. It is unadulterated. So when we see things that look to us to be unfair, we can rest assured that they may look that way, but God’s way is perfect.

    It is when we allow ourselves to indulge this sense that we are being wronged or unfairly treated in life that we make huge errors. The first mistake is forgetting that God’s wisdom is unfailing, and the second is neglecting that it does not show favoritism. Once the mistakes of this train of thought gets steam by our emotional responses, it then has the power to affect our outcomes.

    God has told us to renew our minds for a reason, and one of those reasons is because the way we think plays a huge role in the amount of peace, abundance, and fulfillment we experience in life. Without putting ourselves in check, we begin to move in reverse and attract the exact opposite of the blessings we desire.

    The blessing of marriage is a spiritually forward, progressive, and higher level reality. Therefore, it stands to reason that it will require a spiritually forward, progressive, and higher level mentality and emotionality to build capacity for it. We can’t get there by indulging negativity and letting bottom feeding thoughts and emotions drag us beneath the realm of Godliness. You can only get a higher functioning mind-and-heart set from trusting, knowing, and feeding upon God’s Word.

    James 1:5 (NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” The same energy that we waste by thinking and reacting to doubt, we can reroute to having faith in the generosity of God. Transitioning from single to married takes decisive steps, just like any other thing that we seek to do in life. If you’re doing something that you shouldn’t be doing, or you’re not doing what you should be doing, ask our generous God if you can’t figure it out. He won’t be mad about it. He’ll tell you exactly what you need to do in order to receive the blessing you so earnestly desire. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “It’s Just So Unfair!”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2016.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve Better

    Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve Better

    LaToya’s father was abusive towards her mother, and she stayed with him for many years for the sake of their children. LaToya’s mother received the kind of advice that many women during her generation received, and some in our generation are still doling it out. Our mothers and grandmothers were often told by those who offered advice that any man is better than no man. This kind of thinking is spun from a mindset of fear, and is often used to keep women isolated. It causes them to feel afraid and insecure about their own ability to get away and care for their children and themselves.

    The residuals of this kind of advice and thinking are apparent in LaToya’s life. She’s 52 years-old, but still hasn’t healed from those childhood wounds of seeing her mother beaten and treated so badly by her father. She feels inferior and for eighteen years now, she’s been in a relationship with a man that refuses to marry her. She said to me over dinner, “I’m tired of feeling like I don’t deserve any better than what I have right now. I don’t want to settle anymore.”  This was a crack in the four walls of pain that have kept her boxed in for many years. The question is, how do you go from making a declaration of freedom to enforcing one?

    When I listened to my friend LaToya, I could identify with her pain in so many ways. I have had feelings of inadequacy, and I so did not want to feel that way. It’s isolating and sad, and you don’t want anyone to know how afraid you are of letting yourself down and letting everyone else down as well. You can become so tightly wound that you’ll go along with things that you know are not God’s best. You do it because you’re trying to prevent any more eggs from falling out of the basket.

    God commands us in Ephesians 4:23 to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. Even if we will not admit it to ourselves, if a Sister in Christ believes that God would want her to remain in an abusive relationship or that He would want His daughters to be in relationships with men that will not commit to marriage, her thought life has an element of fear. Renewing her mind is the only solution.

    2 Corinthians 10:4-6(The Message) tells us, “The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.”

    The culture was at one time, and to some degree still is, entrenched in the immature thinking that certain humans should be valued higher than others. God has given us the tools through His Word to smash this kind of warped philosophy. We can and should tear down barriers of pain and afflictions that breed fear. They go against the liberty in Christ we’ve been granted. Loose thoughts and emotions that are not grounded in love cannot mold a life into the structure of Christ. That is why we can’t allow our minds to stay trapped in flawed thinking.

    We can and must cast down strongholds like this, and many women begin relationships without having done so. This is one of the reasons why God wants us to use our time in singledom to prepare by renewing our minds to His Word. We teach people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. If we will stand for certain negativities in our lives, then people will value us at the level of treatment we are willing to accept.

    Let’s face it Sisters, some of us have become so blinded to the truth that we no longer respect what God has to say. We neglect His teachings—His ways and His love for us, and we become consumed with what we will or will not receive from a man. Then, if the man disappoints us and something goes wrong, our hearts become so broken we can hardly see straight. This is so far away from the path of love, wisdom, and power that God has predestined for us.

    We must confront those old, broken down human nature patterns and thinking, like the ones that have gripped LaToya’s life. They can be very damaging to our souls. We cannot make a man or any other person our everything. God is our everything. Only He deserves such a place in our lives. Let’s renew our minds and get back to the ways of Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT), “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6: Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”  Let’s remember that we are empowered by God to stand boldly in the high value that He has placed on our lives. Instead of having fear about living without someone who doesn’t value us, we should seek to grow in faith that God will always and forever supply our every need. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve Better” written for FACM ©2016.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord! SMS is dedicated to inspiring and encouraging Christian Women through the Word of God.