Find A Christian Man

Tag: Growing in Christ

  • Love Fulfills the Requirement

    Love Fulfills the Requirement

    “Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirement of God’s law.”
    Romans 13:10 (NLT)

    No matter who you are or where you are in this world, the one thing that brings all people together is the love of God in Christ. This is the kind of love that our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ has demonstrated for us, his brothers and sisters. It allows us to make universal actions and expressions of God’s goodness. Heavenly Father is so pleased when we continue the legacy of the love of Christ, and heaven rejoices when we honor Him by being a blessing to others, and revealing this love to them. A lot of us miss these opportunities, because we feel that we don’t have anything to give, but this simply is not true.

    In 1Peter 4:10-11 (NLT), God tells us, “10 God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. 11 Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.” God’s Word is true! He has told us that we each have a special and unique gift, so we can rest assured that we’ve been blessed with a gift that we can use to be a blessing to the Body of Christ.

    There are many ways that we can impact the lives of others. These are not always big things. They are often small ways in which we can fill in the gaps and make people’s lives better. With everything that is going on in our world, many are feeling sad, disappointed, and alienated. We have neighbors, co-workers, and people in our faith communities that are feeling this way, and we don’t even know it. They are longing for a demonstration of God’s love, even though they may not articulate it. We don’t always have to spend money or inconvenience ourselves significantly in order to be a blessing. A smile or a morning greeting is sometimes all it takes.

    God encourages us to begin to operate in our gifts. Even if we are not sure what they are, we should have an intention to show forth His love in some way. Many of us get up each morning to go to work, and we are not sure what each workday might bring. We have been trained to do certain things, but there are other duties that we perform and we haven’t had any training. We just do what has to be done, and we have confidence that we are up for the task. We can’t let it be said that we will do less when it comes to the things of God. We may not know from one day to the next how we are to use our gifts or who might be the recipient of them, but we don’t have to know it. This is the beauty of walking in the Spirit. The indwelling Holy Spirit will guide us to accomplish exactly what God desires us to do each day.

    God’s love is everlasting. He just keeps flooding our lives with it every day. As we give it out, He pours more into us. A refusal to give out in a Godly way will block our blessings, because a refusal to give love blocks the flow of God’s love through us.

    We must understand that one of the highest expressions of God’s love is to show it to others. Jesus Christ has placed the responsibility of the ministry of reconciliation in our hands for this reason. We can dot all the ‘I’s and cross all the ‘t’s through love, because God tells us in Romans 13:10 that love fulfills the requirement of His statues, commandments, and laws. If we will simply begin to listen to the Spirit and move by his promptings, we will fulfill the requirement and grow in God’s love. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Love Fulfills the Requirement”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Unveiling Of Your Spouse

    The Unveiling Of Your Spouse

    Sisters, I know that I can lean on your support and that you’ll give me a pass for venting a little bit. I don’t know if I can take hearing one more Sister in Christ complain that there are no more good men out there. Some of us are actually saying things like, “We might as well get used to being alone, because marriage is not going to happen.”  I’m like, “Really!!! Is this all the faith that you can muster regarding God’s goodness? Are you really going to let words like this come out of your mouth?”

    It’s not as if these daughters don’t know the Word of God; they do. Many of them have been on the Christian journey longer than I have. I get it! They’ve done the daggone thang’ in terms of their careers and jobs. They’re on the grind daily, taking care of their children and holding it down as the head of their households. Some of them are divorced, and others have never been married. They are dependable, hardworking, and they would say that they’re dedicated to the faith, yet when it comes to the subject of marriage, the script flips.

    Let it not be said that we don’t know how to back our faith with good works, because we’re proving it in so many other areas of our lives, but when it comes to relationships with men, and the subject of marriage, we don’t seem to be gaining speed. It appears as if this most precious and privileged blessing is getting away from us, and there has to be a reason for it. I personally believe the problem is doubt. It’s the monkey wrench that keeps us from reaping the benefits of God’s harvest.

    Jesus Christ was talking with the disciples one day, and he told them that he wouldn’t be with them long. He told them not to worry about this, because they knew the way. He said in John 14:4 (NLT), “And you know the way to where I am going.”

    Thomas was a disciple with distinction, and it was not the most flattering kind. He was known for having a doubting heart and mind. This means that Thomas had trouble with walking by faith and not by sight. He relied on his five-sense-knowledge very heavily. In other words, he had trained his mind and heart to believe only in things he could see, taste, touch, hear, and smell; and if he couldn’t experience it in the flesh through the five senses, he would be extremely skeptical and wouldn’t trust it.

    Like many of us, the flesh created a barrier around Thomas, and at times he would refuse to stretch beyond it. His imagination was stunted, because he didn’t use it very much. Christian folks shouldn’t have these limitations, especially when it comes to an area of life that is as important to God as marriage.

    When we pray and ask God for something, He has instructed us to believe to receive it. This is the attitude we’re commanded to have. An attitude of ‘maybe’ isn’t appropriate; it’s not what the Father deserves. Even if we’re inclined to be negative, we should believe God with full persuasion on the basis of His goodness alone.

    We cannot let doubt win and rob us of our futures. Through Jesus Christ we have a sure thing! In John 14:6 (NLT), he said to Thomas and the other disciples, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”  They had been with Jesus throughout his ministry. They should have known this truth, and they should have known the higher calling they had all received to walk in faith. We should know it as well.

    He is the way. All of our methodologies, philosophies, predictions, and dating tricks and treats can’t hold a candle to the way of love, truth, and light that he has made available to us. Getting married isn’t about fairytales or receiving something we think we deserve. It’s a commitment to love through Christ, and assume the responsibility for another person’s life and heart. When our faith is fueled by this commitment to God, and is less about flesh, the light of Christ will shine forth and beautifully unveil our spouses.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Unveiling Of Your Spouse”, written for FindingAChristianMan.Com©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Running In The Opposite Direction of Your Blessing

    Running In The Opposite Direction of Your Blessing

    One of the most poignant questions that any single woman can ask herself is “Am I running in the opposite direction of my blessing?” It is such a weighty question that only a sister that is genuinely interested in a pursuit of truth will ask it. We know that God never withholds blessings from His children. He has orchestrated the universe to respond extremely positive towards us as we operate within His Will and Word. So when our lives seem to be going in reverse, and we can’t figure out what’s wrong, the most intelligent and spiritually rewarding thing to do is to ask God for the answers to hard questions.

    1John 1:5 (KJV) declares, “This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.” This is a foundation-building truth from God’s Word, which means that it will anchor our faith as we seek to live the life that Jesus Christ made available. There is no darkness in God, and to soak in the breath of this truth, we need to be sure we understand what darkness is and what it does. God’s Word defines darkness as the absence of light. It is all those things that the evil one represents; things like doubt, fear, confusion, lack, and destruction. All darkness seeks to blind God’s people in ignorance and keep the truth from them in an effort to destroy them.

    God wants us to know resolutely that He is not the author of darkness, and we should know this with absolute certainty. We cannot make the mistake of attributing the things that come from God as those that come from the devil. Neither can we attribute the things that come from the devil as those that come from God. When we are confused about the two, our faith cannot be settled.

    God tells us exactly who He is in His Word. He is love. He is all light. He always wants the best for us and for us to be happy. So if we are not experiencing God’s best in a way that fulfills us, it behooves us to consider that there are some thoughts and beliefs we currently hold that might work against our faith, and one of those is the belief that God is not in our corners 100%. He absolutely is, but we must have faith in this. When our prayers are those of asking God to bless us with someone that will honor, love, and support us; our entire way of thinking and behaving towards Heavenly Father has to line up with what we expect from Him.

    We can’t operate in faith and fear at the same time. 1John 4:18 affirms, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”  Our love for God is perfected through our faith in Him. So when it comes to answers to our prayers, it is good practice to look under the hood and examine if our thoughts and believing are clogging the pistons, and keeping the engine of our faith from running full speed ahead.

    No matter what we might think, the truth is that we can only go as far as what we believe and what we’ve been taught. Proverbs 21:2 tells us that a person may think their ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart. This verse confirms that sometimes we think we know what’s best for us; we think we’re on the right track, when in truth it could be that we are going in the wrong direction.

    God tells us in Ephesians 4:22-23 (NLT), “Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” To move forward in faith and in our desires, we have to leave our old way of thinking behind, because it no longer serves us. It doesn’t have the energy or fuel to move us forward in what God has for us. Our thoughts and attitudes need to be renewed, and thank the Lord we don’t have to do this without help. The indwelling Holy Spirit will aid us. All we need to do is have faith, and ask. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Running In The Opposite Direction of Your Blessing”, written by FACM for Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

  • A True Friend Indeed

    A True Friend Indeed

    Proverbs 27:17 (NLT), says “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”  Having a friend that you can count on is a very wonderful gift. This verse in Proverbs paints a portrait of a true friend. There’s a shared sense of caring and concern for one another that grows and develops in a meaningful and supportive friendship. You want each other to succeed in life, and you pour into each other’s lives because you want to see the friendship flourish. In short, a true friend is someone that is on point, and helps us to be on point as well.

    How to recognize a potential friend?

    My grandmother doled out many pieces of phenomenal wisdom to her grandchildren. One of them was, “Everyone that says they’re your friend, isn’t your friend.” In her own way, she was letting us know that talk is cheap. You really have to look at a person’s actions to know what they are about. A person that has made Jesus Christ the head of their lives and has made a commitment to live for him has the potential to become a good friend. By choosing Christ they have chosen love as the foundation of their lives. Not only is this wise, but it demonstrates a person’s willingness to make things like compassion, gentleness, patience, and generosity a staple in their character.

    Look in God’s Word for Examples of Real Friendship

    In Genesis 18, God shared His intentions with Abraham. We see a dialogue between them that shows us their friendship. Verses 17-19 tells us, “17 “Should I hide my plan from Abraham?” the Lord asked. 18 “For Abraham will certainly become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. 19 I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.” Abraham is the Father of our believing because he was fully persuaded in God. He knew that if God said it, then it must be true. Heavenly Father also trusted in Abraham. He declared that the descendants of Abraham would become a great nation, and they would be blessed as a result of Abraham’s commitment to honor and trust God.

    This is one of the greatest examples in God’s Word of a true friendship. Abraham did not have the indwelling Holy Spirit that you and I have, but still he believed God, and God stamped him “righteous!” because of his faith. There was mutual respect and trust between them, and this was the foundation on which many future blessings rested.

    Respect and trust are built as we do things like honor our commitments, speak the truth when we know it will not be easy to hear, and love unconditionally with the heart of Christ. In His Word, God reveals over and over how a commitment to these kinds of qualities are the benchmark of a mutually fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.

    Be the Friend You Want

    It is important for us to make a decision to start behaving like the friends we hope to have in our lives. Loyalty, honesty, companionship, commonality of interests, and good communication are qualities that we need from others so that we will feel appreciated and valued. We also need to make sure that we are cultivating these characteristics within our own personhood. It is not fair to expect something from a person when we are not holding up the standard ourselves. So as we think about what we desire in our friendships, we need to make sure that we are willing to equal or exceed the benchmarks we set.

    Most of us have been taught that we should look at what a person does and not so much what they say. 1John 3:18 (NIV) says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”  Jesus Christ also told us in Matthew 7:20 (NLT), “Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”  A real and true friendship is one where we can see the love of Christ in the person’s actions, because they are always looking out for us in ways that add and not subtract from our lives. We don’t see this kind of commitment in friendships often; good friends are not the easiest to find, but if we trust Heavenly Father, and commit ourselves to be faithful, He will help us to meet friends that will be a true blessing to our lives.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A True Friend Indeed”, written by FACM ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • In the Face of Weakness

    In the Face of Weakness

    Before his Road to Damascus experience, the Apostle Paul had what the world would probably refer to today as an impressive resume. He had received the best education, was very zealous for knowledge and the law, and he traveled in the circles of those in the upper echelon of Jewish society. One day, when he was on his way to Damascus on an assignment to persecute Christians, he was completely transformed through an experience with Jesus Christ. Up until that point, Paul despised those who followed Christ, and wanted to place them in prison, but after he was converted, he did a complete turnaround and wanted desperately to win souls for Christ. Even though he changed dramatically, there were still some weaknesses lurking about. This is true for all of us, and we can learn from the Apostle Paul about how to turn these weaknesses into strengths that give God glory.

    In 2 Corinthians 12:7 (NLT), the Apostle Paul said, “So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.” We know from this verse right off the bat that Paul could have been tempted by something that would have caused great damage to his effectiveness in Christ. It was pride. Many people look at pride as a strength, but we know from God’s Word that He hates a prideful spirit. This isn’t the kind of pride that we feel when our children succeed. The pride that God hates and that can get us into deep spiritual trouble is arrogance. It is an exaggerated sense of self-importance, or thinking more of ourselves than we should.

    Paul’s life before his conversion was saturated with arrogance, and after he was saved, the spirit of arrogance was always lurking about trying to find a way back in. Many people believe that it was the Lord God Almighty who sent Paul’s thorn in the flesh, but the truth is that Paul’s propensity towards arrogance was the welcome mat that the devil used to walk in and buffet Paul with this thorn. This gives us some inkling about how harmful pride and arrogance can be to our Christian walks. Pride is a blocker. It blocks our blessings, because it keeps us from walking with humility; and humility is the thing that makes us flexible to the Will of God.

    In 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (NLT), Paul said, “8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Many of us struggle with seeing God as an awesomely loving and patient Heavenly Father. We can’t get rid of this image in the back of our minds of a God that punishes and causes suffering. So, when we see that Paul begged God to take away this thorn in the flesh, we look at God’s response and think He’s telling Paul that he has to keep dealing with this thorn without relief. That’s not it at all. God gave Paul a strategy in verse 9 for dealing with the problem. He wasn’t saying that He wouldn’t come to Paul’s aid; He was telling Paul how to put the devil under his feet. God told Paul, “Use my grace, son. That’s what’s going to give you the victory in this situation. That’s the power that is going to turn your weakness into your strength. My grace is all you need!”

    The word weak is defined as the lack of power or physical strength. It is being close to a breaking point or giving way under pressure. This is the condition many Christians find themselves in when they succumb to the pressures of life, especially when their lack of faith in God gives way to sinful behavior.  I’ve heard many of my single Christian friends speak of how much they regret actions they’ve taken because they lacked patience as it relates to dating.

    They start out with a healthy appetite for doing everything God’s way in the beginning of their relationship with someone new, but by the third or fourth month of dating, their self-control goes straight out of the window.

    The Apostle Paul was able to boast in his weakness because those were the times when he stopped leaning on his flesh and began to lean on God’s grace. Where Paul’s strength failed, the power of the Holy Spirit surpassed and succeeded; and God was glorified. Paul was going through some horrible times and he had many enemies, so much so, that he prayed often for God to remove the “thorns in his flesh”, but God knew that Paul needed to lean on Him, and not be so concerned about the people that wanted to see him suffer.

    When we don’t trust God through our tough times, our lack of faith provides the opening the enemy is looking for. We need to know that through Christ we can flip our weaknesses into an incredible opportunity to see God working through us. Paul understood this, and this is why he said, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”  Always remember that God knows full well what we’re made of. He knows our weak points, but He also knows that in the face of weakness, we can go within to the Spirit that indwells us, and he will do the miraculous through God’s grace. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “With God’s Blessing, Go Ahead and Marry”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • If You Can’t Perceive It, You Can’t Have It!

    If You Can’t Perceive It, You Can’t Have It!

    Imagine being told that in order to get the thing that you desire most, you’ll have to give up everything you’ve spent years acquiring. This is exactly what Jesus told the young, rich man in Matthew 19:20-21 (NLT). The dialogue between the two of them is a jewel of wisdom and knowledge that we cannot afford to overlook. The young man inquired what he must do to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. In verse 20 he asked “I’ve obeyed all these commandments, the young man replied. “What else must I do?” Jesus replied to him in verse 21, “If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then come, follow me.” 

    Upon first hearing the statement that Jesus made, a large majority of us would probably say, “Uh, I don’t think so!” Our minds have been conditioned by the world to hold on to things we deem valuable. We can’t comprehend the brevity of letting go of something we hold so dear, unless we are 100% sure that we will obtain something of greater value. We’d rather get all we can get, and still be able to hold on to what we already have. Life does not work this way.

    God established a precedent or pattern for the way we ought to approach our new way of operating in Christ. Through the Apostle Paul, He said in Ephesians 4:22-24 (NLT), “22 Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.” It is only through Christ that you and I have unlimited capacity. We come to him with very limited capacity indeed. Before we are saved, our arms are already full with stuff that weighs us down. Paul strongly encourages us to throw off this negativity. He tells us to unload the burdens and sins that are keeping our arms and hands full, so that we can run the race that God has set before us with lightness, agility, and greater speed. (Heb 12:1)

    Most of us want to hold on to things that make us comfortable. Whether it is wealth, material things, or toxic relationships; we’ve derived a certain level of comfort in these things, and we don’t want to throw them off. This was the condition of the young, rich man’s heart. His grip was so tightly wrapped around his possessions, that he couldn’t imagine anything would bring him more pleasure or make him feel more secure.

    When you think about this, you can clearly understand the true essence of faith. Faith demands that we walk according to what we can’t see, and not by what we can see. It forces us to use our imaginations.

    Our imaginations are an extremely important and useful tool in the Kingdom. They help us to visualize events, experiences, and aspirations that haven’t taken place in the natural or in the timespan of our lives. We didn’t actually see Jesus Christ in the flesh when he walked upon this earth, but through our faith, we know that he did. God’s Word paints a vivid and vibrant picture, and we can use our imagination—our mind’s eye—to see our beautiful, blessed Lord. Everything in the spiritual world works this way. We don’t see all the activity going on spiritually, but through the Spirit that indwells us we know that there is more going on in the spiritual realm than there is in the natural realm. We can sense these things in the Spirit, and use our imaginations to paint a picture in our minds.

    This is crucial, because if you can’t perceive it, then you can’t have it. If you can’t perceive it, then you can’t fulfill it. Faith demands that we imagine the evidence of something before it is seen. And we have to believe in the evidence so strongly that it is real to us.

    The young, rich man couldn’t make the leap. He refused to allow Jesus Christ to stretch his capacity to exponentially wider and greater depth. He could not imagine a life without his stuff, and he couldn’t imagine that heaven would hold for him an infinitely greater treasury than the one he had labored for with his own might and mental prowess. He couldn’t perceive it, so He couldn’t have it.

    It is sometimes very hard for us to shake ourselves out of routines and to stretch our imaginations to see a bigger picture. This can be especially true for sisters that have been single for many years. They become comfortable making a life for one, and sometimes forget that seeing and preparing for two is necessary. You must come to a place where you are completely sold-out to the fact that God has blessings for you that are far more valuable and useful than what you’re holding on to so tightly. Let go, and let God!

    Recognize that the Lord may be calling you to burst out of that same ol’ groove, so that your vision is expanded. Your faith may need a reboot. A single digit, representing you against the world, may be your present, but it is not your future. Allow the Spirit to renew your thoughts and attitudes as you press into Christ. He’ll ignite new vision, inspiration, and revelation of your wonderful future. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “If You Can’t Perceive It, You Can’t Have It!”, written by FACM©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism

    Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism

    How well do you deal with criticism? Not only is this an important question to answer, it points out a spiritual lesson that every single woman will need to learn. Proverbs 3:11(NLT) tells us, “My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.”  This verse lets us know in no uncertain terms that God disciplines and corrects. Very often He does it through others. For instance, someone might point out something within your personality they find offensive or off-putting. This someone just might be your future husband, and your response can either bring you closer or take you further away from the kind of marriage you desire.

    Everyone receives criticism; politicians, religious and spiritual leaders, celebrities, athletes, teachers, doctors, lawyers… you name it. We all receive criticism, but it can hit the hardest when it comes from the person you love, and a lot of us do not handle it well at all. Criticism can be constructive or destructive. In either case, it can be handled with a Godly finesse. One of the ways that a mature Christian person handles criticism of any kind is to first try and make the distinction as to whether it is true or false. If it’s false, we kick it to the curb and keep it moving. However, when something has been pointed out about us that may be hurtful but is accurate, it can lead to correction.

    In order for criticism to be helpful, you and I have to first hear it, and then be humble enough to consider whether it is true. In a heated situation, someone might say something out of spite, but it is important for us to weigh it when cooler heads prevail. Proverbs 18:12 (NLT) tells us, “Haughtiness goes before destruction: humility precedes honor”.  ‘Haughtiness’ is another word for ‘pride’. Pride can lead to missed opportunities, and it can also cause us to go in the wrong direction. Most folks that are arrogant or prideful can’t see correction or direction, they only see themselves, and God isn’t pleased with this kind of mind-and-heart-set.

    The love of God is activated in humility. It allows us to surrender to God, so that He can lovingly correct us and help us to recover what has been lost.

    Another thing that we have to examine is whether we are too consumed with ourselves. This happens frequently with singles. We learn to be self-reliant and sometimes lose a register of sensitivity when it comes to the needs of others. The problem is that it becomes extremely difficult to recognize your faults or weaknesses if you’re consumed with yourself. Some people talk about their problems relentlessly. They’re not necessarily egotistical, but they too focused on themselves to realize that it isn’t always about them. In order to grow, you must humble your heart enough to admit you have imperfections. Even if they seem harmless to you, they could be harming your preparedness to partner. To the extent that they stand in the way of your blessing, you will need to address them.

    Hebrews 12:11 (NLT) tells us, “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”  Sometimes we forget that God holds our futures. He knows our pasts, and He sees our tomorrows. We might not recognize a situation that will cause us to lose out on an opportunity or a blessing, but God knows every nook and cranny of it. If we are prayerful and humble, God can prepare us to respond in a way that minimizes collateral damage. So, when we hear criticism from others, the best practice is to seek God about it, and let Him speak to you on the matter.

    Heavenly Father’s number one goal for us is to grow in Christ. When we allow the love of Christ to expand in our hearts, the Holy Spirit can lead us down the path to the blessings we desire. The truth is that we don’t always pay attention to his guiding hand. We miss important directions, and we skip details that would qualify our best effort. These kinds of misses can add up and cost us big time. We are blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father who is always rooting for us to be the best, and He is willing to teach and help us achieve it.

    Be sensitive to the fact that the sting of criticism can sometimes lead to God’s correction. It would be wonderful if the people who criticize us always did it in love, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes criticism will come from the person we love, and it is levied in a way that crushes us, but God created us to be resilient, humble, and flexible. We can and will bounce back, and hopefully we will learn that criticism is sometimes a way to get our attention. If we examine it with careful scrutiny, it might help us to grow in Christ and become more pliable to God’s Will. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Should He Trust You With His Heart?

    Should He Trust You With His Heart?

    A person once said that he was so hurt by a comment his ex-girlfriend made, that he never saw her in the same light again. Their relationship was decimated by her hurtful words; so much so that after she spoke them, her boyfriend was repelled by the thought of being in her company for any length of time. Proverbs 18:21(NLT) tells us “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” I realize that this may be a verse that most of us have heard numerous times, but if you’re reading this, you’re in the business of spiritually preparing for marriage. Preparation means that we need to look under the hood of scripture several times, so that the revelation of it really sinks into our brain cells.

    This is a simple and short verse, but it packs a powerful punch. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that our tongues can be weapons that not only hurt others, but they also can rob us of blessings as well. Sometimes we forget the impact of what we say and how easily offensive we can be with our words. In the case of the man I mentioned, he and his girlfriend were not having a heated argument, and she was not intentionally lashing out at him in anger. The truth of it is that she made two very distinct, harmful, and common mistakes.

    God tells us in Hebrews 10:17 that when we seek His forgiveness for our sins, He remembers them no more. Most of us are not this way. When someone does or says something to hurt our feelings, we might let it go to a certain extent, but just let a heated situation come to roost. The sting of that past hurt will spark again, and we’ll hit the replay button on that scenario with a quickness. Five years could have passed, but some of us will still bring up that scabbed over incident in an argument. The point is that people are not as quick to forget past offences as some of us think. We need to always keep this in mind, particularly when it comes to our future spouses or the important person in our lives.

    In our relationships with men, one of the common mistakes that we make is to forget that they are more sensitive than we think. Once a man lets you into his heart, he makes himself more vulnerable than perhaps he lets on. We can’t play the naïve card on this one; we’re too intuitive for that. We know when the man has made space for us in his heart, even if it’s a small one. As a Christian woman, we should be particularly sensitive to this, and it should make us more grounded in our responsibility to pay close attention to what we say.

    The other harmful mistake that sister-girl made, and again, all of us do this at some point with our words, is forgetting the lasting impression they make. Think back to a time when someone said something to you that hurt your feelings. You haven’t forgotten it. Even though you have probably forgiven the person, the sting of their words is still in the background of your consciousness, and you wouldn’t want to relive the situation. So again, words can cause irreparable damage in a relationship. As someone praying and preparing to meet the man that will ultimately be your husband, your well of sensitivity needs to be deepened now, and not later.

    As Christians, we should use our mouths to uplift and inspire those around us, and not let an untamed tongue get away from us. We can potentially make a statement to the important man in our life that can leave wounds that stick around with him for a very long time. They will often put up a valiant front on the outside, but this is just a shield.

    The last thing that you want is for the words you’ve spoken to injure your partner; it harms your relationship. So, a great preparation strategy is to pray about this sooner rather than later. God knows this very moment the man that will be your husband. Pray that Heavenly Father will prepare you by bringing any impulsive tendencies that you may have to your attention. Pray that He will help you to develop the well of sensitivity and compassion that is going to bless your future husband and inspire him to trust you with his heart. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Should He Trust You With His Heart?” written by FACM ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

  • Once the Swelling Goes Down

    Once the Swelling Goes Down

    These days, plenty of folks think that it’s more important to be sensitive or compassionate than truthful. It’s a pretty difficult balancing act, and sometimes we’re in a position where we’ve hurt someone’s feelings, and we didn’t even know it. All of us, in general, simply don’t have the kind of tough skin that was common place at one time. Some people think this is a good thing, and others not so much. The one thing that rings true to a certain degree, is that women have essentially still cornered the market when it comes to sensitivity. On a whole, I’d say that we’re more likely to curb what we do and say for the sake of sparing someone’s feelings. On the other hand, our male counterparts seem to still have some significant room to grow in this area; particularly when it comes to getting a relationship off the ground or taking it to the next level.

    We’ve all heard it said that kids say the darndest things, but some would argue that their husbands or boyfriends take the cake. Most of us have imagined how tender and loving it is to hear our husbands or boyfriends say the words we’ve always wanted to hear. We rarely think about a scenario when those words are hardly ever spoken, or when they are, it’s not quite what we imagined. It can be quite a letdown. To put it bluntly, some men-folk have a difficult time expressing how they truly feel, and not only this; sometimes the craziest things come out of their mouths.

    Proverbs 27:5-6(NIV) gives us some wonderful wisdom when it comes to taking it on the chin. It says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” In other words, sometimes the person that loves you, or who would like to, might say something that stings; but their honesty and realness is more valuable than the hurt you might experience.

    I have girlfriends that have ended budding relationships because they were so deeply offended by an off-comment or a truth spoken too frank for their taste. We have to consider that when a man is uncouth in some of his mannerisms and speech, sometimes it doesn’t mean that his heart is lacking. It could mean that he’s never had someone in his life that cares enough to make him want to be his best.

    God didn’t keep it a secret that an important part of our womanhood is to be helpful to those Heavenly Father has placed in our lives. Nothing happens by happenstance; all of our acquaintances are important to our walk in Christ. We have an opportunity to leave an imprint of the Father’s love on every person that comes across our path. There can be no question in our minds that the right man will respond to the love of God that is in our hearts. And yes, there are bumps along the way, and sometimes they are significant, but we can never forget that our responsibility to be obedient to God overrides everything else.

    There’s another old saying, “They’ll be ok once the swelling goes down.” It’s one of the many southern colloquialisms that’s so to the point, you can’t help but shake your head. It’s said about a person whose feelings are hurt by a statement that just happens to be the truth. So the person will just have to deal with it, and when the soreness goes away, they’ll be just fine. We should take this in stride as we prepare for marital partnership in the future.

    Words sometimes hurt, and when hurtful words are spoken by the person we’re interested in, it’s a double whammy. We may be taken aback, but we should be mature enough to respond in love and patience. That’s always going to be what the Father expects from us. We don’t have to necessarily hide our displeasure, but we need to temper it with an understanding that all of us are works in progress. If we’ll remember the patience that the Father has had with each of us, we might find that something quite nice can develop after the swelling goes down. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

     “Once the Swelling Goes Down”, written FACM ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Bone of My Bones

    Bone of My Bones

    Genesis 2:23(NIV)
    “The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.””

    Adam was the first man, and our Heavenly Father gave him all dominion and authority within the earth. Adam was very intelligent, and named the species within the earth’s realm. This was no small feat. There were many living beings; those in the sky, water, and those that walked upon the earth. They all knew and kept their place within God’s creation and under the authority of Adam. God’s man was lord in the earth, and it’s not difficult to understand that keeping watch and tending to God’s creation was busy work for Adam, the first and only human being.

    We should observe, and not allow it to slip by us, that God’s intelligence cannot be measured. Surely He knew that Adam would become lonely, and instead of creating one unit, He might have made two from the very start. God didn’t do this. He is so loving and preeminent in His foreknowledge that He made sure to give us a record of His sensitivity and willingness to take care of our every need. Even though Adam had dominion over the earth, and plenty to do, he had a need. God created him with the full intent to take of this need by making two from one, at the appropriate time.

    Heavenly Father caused a great sleep to fall on Adam. He then took a rib from his side and made Adam a wife. In Genesis 2:23 (NIV), Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” Heavenly Father beautifully met Adam’s need, and did so in a way that was beyond Adam’s imagination. This is a pattern that God demonstrated for us. Taking care of our hearts and our desires is a part of His plan; it has been from the very beginning.

    “Bone from my bones” may not be the way that you and I would describe marriage in modern terms, but it conveys a unity and partnership that God created and ordained, and no better words could describe it. It is so real and meaningful that thousands of years after the first couple, all of us still feel the tug of destiny on our hearts to partner. We know that being a spouse is a beautiful part of our futures. Just as God met Adam’s need, we can have every confidence that He will do the same for us.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Bone of My Bones”,  by writers for FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!