Find A Christian Man

Tag: Growing in the Holy Spirit

  • She’s Rich, But Can’t Find A Man

    Celeste is a very independent and fierce woman. She’s built her career on being labeled ‘the first’. She was the first woman to hold the position she had in a large construction company; she was the first African American to be promoted to a senior level management position, and she is the first woman in her local area to move up the ladder from worker to co-owner of the company. I would venture to say that 95% of her counterparts are men. Most of her days are spent working around them, but at 43 years-old, she has never been married, and according to her, has never come close. Celeste is fiercely competitive, savvy, and financially set. Not only is she very successful, but she’s very down-to-earth and friendly. She wants to marry a Christian man and isn’t concerned that he might not be as successful as she is. This is why it is so baffling that she hasn’t crossed paths with her Mr. Right.

    A person in Celeste’s position has be very cautious about men that might only want to date her because of her wealth. This hasn’t been too much of an issue for her because she’s very unassuming. Were it not for the S63-coupe she sports, one would never know that she’s got serious bank. Again, she’s a sweet person, loves the Lord Jesus Christ, and you’d be amazed at how easy it is to strike up a conversation with her and feel like you’ve known her all your life. Still, in most ways, she’s no different than many singles these days. Despite all our efforts to do good, we slip into patterns and behaviors that are hard to break.

    In Matthew 7:3(NIV), Jesus Christ schools us on the kind of behavior we should have with one another. For those bent on being picky and criticizing others, he asked, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” It’s common sense to look at our own weaknesses and faults before we even think about calling out someone else’s, but often we don’t think about it this way. We adopt a set of behaviors and patterns, and do so subconsciously. The thought of changing or altering them a bit doesn’t cross our minds.

    If a stranger asked those who know Celeste well to describe her, her unselfish Christian nature would not be the first thing that came to their minds. It would be the fact that she curses like a sailor; not all the time, but enough that vulgar words strip the sweet aroma of Christ that Christians are supposed to leave with others. Her kind heart is completely overshadowed by her foul mouth.

    Ephesians 4:29(NLT) admonishes us, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” How we speak and how we make use of our words can pose a very real challenge to our efforts to marry. God’s standard in Ephesians 4:29 is clear, and it is for men and women alike, but it cannot be denied that as mothers and wives, the tone and manner of which we speak can be tremendously soothing and encouraging to our children and husbands. We cannot be ignorant of how impactful our words can be, both negatively and positively.

    Psalm 52:2(NIV) says, “You who practice deceit, your tongue plots destruction; it is like a sharpened razor.” This is not the kind of people God has called us to be. We’re not to use our tongues like razors and cut people with our words. God says that everything we say should be good and helpful. I can tell you from personal experience that the consequences of not paying attention to God’s standard are far reaching and severe. I said some pretty hurtful words to someone I care about, and it boomeranged, as all actions do. Whether it is negative or positive, if you put it out there, it’s going to come back to you, and will do so with an impact that is greater than your original action.

    Our words have staying power. Negative words create a vicious negative cycle that keeps propelling darkness into a person’s life. People listen to the words we speak. Our children and loved ones are influenced by them. As Christians, we should desire to speak words that uplift and motivate everyone around us to be better.

    Celeste is rich, and complains that she can’t find a good man. She doesn’t realize that arrogance isn’t necessarily about being flashy and audacious, and that pride and arrogance might be holding her back. It’s the thinking that allows wealth to mold a person into being inflexible and unwilling to change in the ways God desires them to. God is not punishing Celeste for having a foul mouth. She’s punishing herself because she refuses to release it. It’s the refusal and neglect to place God’s Will over her will that is causing her believing to fizzle and her faith to misfire.

    The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:14 (NLT), “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” He understood that we’re all works in progress. We haven’t made it yet, but we are required to keep pressing, understanding that there is a standard we’re required and qualified to meet. Yes, we all have things about us that are not perfect. We’re not going to address every negative habit, behavior, or attitude in our lifetimes, but to the extent that something is holding our blessings at bay and causing us to miss the opportunity to be strategically positioned; it deserves our attention. We have to change and be better, so that we can continue pressing toward the mark for the prize. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “She’s Rich, But Can’t Find a Man”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Peace of God in Your Relationship

    After twenty-something years of marriage and two children, Sharon decided to divorce after her youngest graduated high school. This was six years ago, and four years later her high school sweetheart got a job at the company where she worked, and they began to date.  Sharon told me that her ex-husband had never stopped hoping that one day they’d find a way to re-unite. Recently, he’s asked her to marry him again.  She said, “He’s a good provider, he’s the father of my children, and my family loves him; but I have feelings for my boyfriend, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’ve prayed and asked God to help me, because I don’t know what to do.”

    If any of you are thinking like me, you can’t help but appreciate Sharon’s position to some degree. She has two men vying for her affection and attention. Not many of us can make this claim. However, anytime you find discord or confusion, you’ve got to use caution. 1 Corinthians 14:33a(NKJV) tells us so clearly, “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace.” God doesn’t initiate, create, or perpetuate confusion. He interjects peace, and Philippians 4:7 tells us that His peace exceeds anything we can understand. It will guard our hearts and minds as we are committed to live in Christ.

    Ambivalence, especially when it comes to relationships, is a sign that we don’t have God’s peace. It is sometimes an emotional and mental indicator that we need to be still, and wait until we can hear clearly from the Lord.  In Sharon’s case, she has forgotten how important it is to have the peace of God in a relationship. Without it, things turn to mush very quickly, and you lose the foundation that once gave the relationship endurance and unity.

    We can always learn from our previous relationships, especially those that are prior marriages. It is a big deal when a marriage falls apart and divorce enters the picture. Nothing is gained from playing the blame game, but it is important to analyze things as much as possible, so that mistakes and missteps are not repeated. Sharon and her ex-husband somehow lost the peace of God in their marriage. They may have looked to find in each other something that can only be found in God.

    We should never expect to receive from another individual something that only God can give. He gives us peace, joy, fulfillment, and so much more. When you learn how to find these spiritual goodies in God through Jesus Christ, you can then enter your relationship as a whole person, as opposed to someone who doesn’t really understand their identity in Christ, and is fragmented and insecure. When you’re in this fragmented state, it will spill over into your relationship. So, the peace of God is most definitely a foundation that must be built in our own hearts and minds, before we can bring it into any other relationship.

    Real and true peace is an inner calmness and contentment that abides because of our faith in God. It’s a joy that we experience despite any difficulty we might be encountering. It isn’t dependent upon any circumstance, but rests solely on our trust in our Heavenly Father through the Lord Jesus Christ.

    When we’ve lost God’s peace in a relationship, it is important for us to examine if we’ve grown to such an extent that we won’t lose it again. God knows our future. He wants only the best for us, and He knows WHO is best for us. Sharon indicated that she has prayed and asked God what to do, but we must also ask ourselves if we are in a position to hear His answer. It is important for us to rest in His peace, because this is when we can hear Him. It’s when we have intentionally drowned out all other noises so we can commune only with God. He is always speaking, and abiding in His peace will allow us to hear, so that we can make good decisions, and nurture our relationships from a place of wholeness, confidence, and strength. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “The Peace of God in Your Relationship”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Reflection of Your Heart

    The Word of God teaches us how to live in such a way that we keep His blessings flowing in our lives. It is critical that the single Christian woman believes this, because one of the major setbacks in a Christian’s life is that after a while, our senses become dull and we grow less and less teachable. We begin to entertain people and situations that are designed to interrupt God’s plan for our lives. Proverbs 15:10 (NLT) deals with an unteachable person in a very straightforward way. It warns, “Whoever abandons the right path will be severely disciplined; whoever hates correction will die.” This verse reinforces the importance of humility in our walks in Christ, and that we should learn to greatly value God’s correction.

    Proverbs 15:10 is God’s warning to those who, like people living in Old Testament times, had been on the Christian journey a while. They thought they knew all the answers, and refused to be corrected by the wisdom of His Word. They were inflexible, and inflexibility is a sign of a hardened heart.

    Our Heavenly Father has placed His Spirit in the inner sanctum of our beings. He’s with us every moment of every day. He has an inside view of our propensity to become so accustomed to our routines that we don’t want to break out of them. We start to take things for granted, and we bring this into our relationships with God. We turn a blind eye to what the Spirit is revealing.

    This is what happens in some of our marriages as well. We forget the sting of loneliness and what it was like to want to be married but not have the right person in our lives. After a few years of seeing our spouses every day, couples will take each other for granted and forget how special it is to have one another. It takes a certain level of consciousness to make ourselves remember to honor the person who loves us most. If we’re not the type of person who practices mindfulness, of being aware of what it takes to make a person feel supported and valued, then this is something we absolutely must learn.

    Our relationship with God will cast a reflection on the relationship with our spouses. Are we acknowledging God’s gifts? How are we demonstrating our appreciation for His love? Are we taking His grace and mercy for granted? Our intimacy with Heavenly Father should be stronger and more fulfilling than any other relationship. Our friendship with the Holy Spirit should be one of seeking his council, leadership, and guidance in every decision and choice that we make. We must be so in love with Jesus that the reflection of our hearts illuminates the lives of our husbands.

    Proverbs 21:2 (NLT) says, “People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart.” I’ve spoken with many single women that are very impatient with the process of spiritually preparing to marry. They feel that they’re ready to take that walk down the aisle, but there is so much more to learn from God about being the kind of wife He desires them to be. Heavenly Father just wants the best for us. He sees our hearts. He wants our marriages to be a reflection of His love, and He knows where we need to be strengthened so that our relationships are fulfilling and will last.

    When it comes to your desire for marriage, ask yourself if you are really allowing God to lead you through the person of the Holy Spirit. Have you given Holy Spirit a place in your life? Because if you make a commitment to honor him, to communicate with him, and allow him to take control of your decisions and choices, he will always guide you on the path to God’s love, joy, and purpose. Be sure to give the Holy Spirit room in your life. Let him take control of your quest to be married, so that your heart will reflect the quality of God’s love that you will both give and receive.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Reflection of Your Heart”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Learning to Pace Yourself

    A good friend of mine met a man through another mutual friend. They engaged in a little small talk, exchanged numbers, and he said that he would call her in a couple of days when he was back in town. True to his word, he phoned. They had a few really nice conversations and planned a date. Prior to the date, my friend said to me, “I hope he doesn’t turn out to be a stalker that calls all the time!” I found this to be a strange comment for her to make, because he had not given her any reason to suspect that he was anything of the sort. He had simply held to his word, and that’s a really admirable quality, but she immediately dismissed it and went straight for the negative.

    Rather than allowing this man to get comfortable with occupying the space of acquaintance or friendship, my friend tried to peg him as a possible marital partner, and began stacking him against her list of criteria. Not only had she jumped to conclusions before getting to know who he is, but she was already piling on the baggage from her previous relationships. “…And if he has more than two kids under the age of 18, I’ll entertain only one date, and that’s it!” she said.

    Galatians 5:6(NLT) tells us, “For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.” Faith has requirements, and they do not let up, but increase as we get closer and closer to the fulfillment of God’s promises. So imagine if you begin a new friendship by wrapping it in fear from day one. It will take incredible energy to reroute it from that point.

    Single Christians are to occupy their time getting tight in their relationships with God, and becoming spiritually sharp. We are poised to be the greatest examples of Christ, because of the amount of alone time we get to spend with him before we get married. In turn, he teaches us how to express our faith through his love. Some of us just haven’t given Christ the reigns in this area of our lives. We rush to occupy our time with other things, and this gives the enemy the opportunity to sabotage our efforts to partner.

    Learning to pace ourselves is very important, not only when it comes to meeting someone new, but also in giving ourselves time to make good decisions for our own hearts. God has given us the gift of the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us maintain a healthy pace. He knows how to lead and guide us, and he will also keep us out of danger. So rather than jumping to conclusions, and letting negative baggage from the past ruin our futures, we can choose to demonstrate spiritual maturity. Having faith in God’s positioning is the best way to be loving and kind to yourself. You don’t have to rush anything. You can simply enjoy meeting new people and being a blessing to them.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Learning to Pace Yourself” written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When No One is Watching

    A friend shared a teachable moment she had with her teenage daughter while they were on vacation. They visited a store to purchase gifts to take back home for co-workers and friends. When they went up to the cashier to make their purchase, the gentleman was so distracted with other customers that he completely forgot to take their money. Without realizing the mistake, he gave them their merchandise and said “Have a nice day”.  My friend immediately and discreetly said, “Sir, excuse me, but you didn’t ring us up. We need to pay for our purchase.” When they exited the store, her daughter said, “Mom, we could have walked out of the store with the merchandise and the money too.” She responded by telling her daughter, “Yes, but do you think God would have been pleased if we had done that?”

    Keeping it real, many people would have walked right out of that store with the goodies and cash in hand, and wouldn’t have felt the slightest hint of guilt about it. But what we fail to realize is that our actions in situations like these are markers. They indicate our spiritual maturity level and our preparedness for greater blessings. God is always watching.

    Proverbs 15:11(NLT) tells us, “Even Death and Destruction hold no secrets from the LORD. How much more does he know the human heart!” Heavenly Father knows everything under the sun about His children. He knows the choices and decisions we’re going to make before we even think about them. He knows our beginning and our end. He also knows that the human heart can be a pretty treacherous tool when used the wrong way. It can plot the vilest and most evil attacks, and it can also love intensely deep. God knows it all, and He expects us to know that it’s not enough to do right when everyone is watching. What counts are the choices and decisions we make when no one is watching or paying attention. These actions are the ones that speak to what is in our hearts.

    One of the standards for this can be found in 1Corinthians 1:21(NLT). The Apostle Paul wrote, “Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe.” The truth that Jesus Christ was a King and the Messiah who died on the cross was too hard to swallow for some people living during his time; this is true for many living today as well. Folks living back then didn’t think that Jesus Christ lived up to their human wisdom regarding what a king should be, how a king should look, and how a king should act. When our Lord and Savior came to the earth to reveal the heart of God, he was born in a manger, a place where the animals were kept and fed. There were no huge celebrations regarding his birth, and when he grew up to be a man, he did not wear fine garments and fancy jewelry as one would expect of a king, particularly a king who had all power in his hands. The hearts of people were in the wrong place, and that is why they couldn’t see the love of God that our King Jesus introduced into this dark world. 

    God is wise beyond what any of us can fathom. If the majesty and excellence of Christ had been revealed through the spectacle of grandeur and trivial things like fancy clothes and jewelry, people would have responded to Christ differently. Many of them would have gravitated towards him and been on their best behavior for the wrong reasons. They would have been consumed with the outward appearances, and not with the liberty and light that he brought to liberate the earth. They would have lavished him with gifts, and pretended to love him, even though their hearts were crooked. In a nutshell, people would have received a superficial message about what is truly important to God.

    1Corinthians 1:21(NLT) tells us that people wanted a human sign, something that spoke to their arrogance, to let them know that Jesus Christ was the Messiah, but God wanted to see their true hearts. Jesus did not come to appease those hungry for notoriety and arrogance. He restored sight to the blind, hearing to the deaf; he healed the sick and casted out demons from those that were possessed and oppressed by them. He came to show us the way, and to reveal the heart of the Father. His compassion, and the purity of his love and power is the thing that would awaken the hearts of his people and cause them to want to live right.

    Jesus Christ is THE King, but he allowed himself to be brought low and suffered the cross for our sakes. Just as there was nothing superficial about Jesus Christ, God doesn’t want there to be anything superficial about our hearts for Him either. If we are true followers of Christ, we will be honest, loving, respectful, and have integrity especially when no one is looking or paying attention. We will guard our hearts with diligence. We’ll behave in a way that pleases God, and realize that His eyes are upon us every moment of each day.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When No One is Watching”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What Are You Thinking?

    “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

    Sometimes, we Christians forget that God made Science. All the new discoveries and technological advances exist because of the brilliance that Heavenly Father has woven into all of creation. Today, we are seeing Christian scholars have dialogues about Quantum Physics, because they are beginning to understand how it correlates with biblical truths, and in some cases, expands our understanding of them. Take the body for instance, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, yet the human body is 50% to 75% water. As powerful as we are physically, and as intricately woven together as we are, it’s astounding to think that the body mostly consists of something as fluid as water. This should prompt us to consider the potency of something as fluid as a thought.

    A thought isn’t tangible. We can’t touch or feel it. We can’t hold it in our hands and examine it from all angles. It is an expression of an idea or feeling, and although it is seemingly transparent, it is one of the most powerful elements of human existence.

    Thoughts are vibrations, and vibrations are frequencies. This is what Heavenly Father created thought to be. Frequencies ultimately result in the manifestation of matter; as thoughts of faith ultimately result in the manifestation of what we are believing to receive. This is the amazingly potent effect of focusing our thoughts on the living-breathing, positives of God’s Word.

    Physics teaches us that everything has a vibration. When atoms are observed under incredibly powerful microscopes, they can be seen vibrating. All energy behaves this way. Understanding the mechanics of how things work has not been high on the priority list of many Christians, but God tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge. He doesn’t want us to be ignorant, but to get as much understanding as possible, so that we become wise.

    Negativity is at the base or bottom level of existence; it is barely life at all. In other words, it is the lowest form and frequency of operating. Negativity resonates and vibrates with negativity. It is all things dark, deadly, destructive, oppressive, and fearful. It calls attention to what it is. So, when we have negative thoughts, we are signaling everything that vibrates at a level of our negativity; and thereby attracting it to ourselves. Negative thoughts can create a negative cycle that can potentially encapsulate our lives and keep us spiraling downward. Yes, all of this stems from something as powerful and fluid as a thought.

    Make no mistake, this is not New Age goobledygook. This is the science behind the brilliant way God created everything to work. When you understand this, you can see why He tells us to fix our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. These are the components of excellence and praise! They have a high frequency; and therefore, vibrate and draw to us the most positive of positives.

    God is giving us a strategy for remaining in the arc of His safety, protection, and care. He’s telling us how to stay out of the enemy’s territory of death and destruction. By saturating our thought life with what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, we come into agreement and harmony with God’s goodness through Jesus Christ.

    How many of us can actually say that most of our thoughts consist of at least three of the qualities listed in Philippians 4:8?  If we’re honest, many of us would give ourselves a pat on the back if we’re staying our minds on at least one of them. We have become accustomed to worldly behavior, and allow the world’s systems to bombard us with too many distractions.

    The Apostle Paul said in 2Corinthians 10:5 (NLT), “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” This is the hallmark of a true disciple of Christ. We are to capture the thoughts that go against the grain of God’s love and teach them to obey the Lord Jesus Christ. We do this so that we don’t add to the negativity of this world; we bring light to it, so that darkness can be exposed and eradicated.

    God tells us in Romans 12:2(NKJV), “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” To reverse the negative and move ourselves into a positive trajectory, there’s no question about it; we’ve got to renew our minds. This is the methodology that God has given us to align our mental and emotional centers with the guidance of the indwelling Holy Spirit. This is how we keep our relationship with God on track.

    Negativity blocks you from being your very best for God. A carnal mind is an undisciplined and untrained mind. The Word teaches us that it is an enemy of God. We must begin to train our thoughts to move in the direction that He has told us they should go. He tells us to renew our minds by transforming our thoughts; this is His definitive directive. Make the conscious choice to renew your mind. Change your thoughts to those that mirror the mind of Christ. If you dedicate yourself to this practice, you will see a dramatic change in your life in the present, and you will lay the groundwork for a fabulous future!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What Are You Thinking?”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • ‘Hurry Up’ Mode

    Heavenly Father is a Doer. His love continues to produce results, and it has always produced supremely positive results. God shows us in His Word that His love operates in a certain way. For instance, you might have heard it said that the first law of heaven is order. We know from God’s Word that order is extremely important to Him. 1Corinthians 14:33a(NLT) tells us, “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.”  Everything that He does has order. His patterns are consistent; we can count on them, because they will not fail us; they are fail-proof. These are truths that I’m sure you know, but somehow, when it comes to partnering, we allow the knowledge of God’s order to slip to the side a little bit. We don’t believe it’s necessary to think about things in a systematic way, so that we can be strategic in how we move, yet this is exactly how God does things.

    When our Heavenly Father makes a promise to us, He’s not going to waver back and forth, nor will He fail to deliver on the promise He has made. As we steady our minds and hearts on His promise of a more than abundant life, we know that included in this abundance is a long, happy, and productive marriage, should we desire it.

    God placed this desire for marriage in our hearts. Ephesians 2:10(NLT) tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”  Philippians 2:13(NLT) affirms, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”  God planned good things for us long ago, and He is working in us to accomplish those things by giving us both the desire and the power to get them done. This pleases Him greatly.

    Think about the relationship that you want, and how much you want it to happen, but also think about God and what He wants for your life. We want things to hurry up and come into manifestation quickly, but we must remember that God has an order; and it must be followed. He tells us His priority list for our lives in Matthew 6:33. God tells us to seek His Kingdom first, and every other good thing that we desire will flow out of this seeking. This is God’s Word. It’s a done deal. He’s not giving us a suggestion here. He’s telling us resolutely what must be done to have things flow in our lives according to His divine order and plan.

    Over the course of time, society as a whole has adapted a mode of ‘hurry-up’ when it comes to desires and needs. The discipline of patience in our society is slipping away, but God has not changed. His order has not changed, nor will it. We cannot hurry God, and He will not place our personal desires before the priority that He has set in His Word. He has told us to seek Him first, and when it comes to our desire to marry, many of us are doing everything but this.

    God is royalty. He rules His Kingdom with absolute sovereignty. Our born-again reality means that we are children of God; and therefore, we are citizens of His Kingdom. What this also means for us is that we will not attempt to do anything outside of God’s rule and will. Only 100% loyalty is accepted, because His Kingdom is one of undivided authority and dominion. If we step outside of His rule, we will be under the rule of darkness and outside of God’s priority for our lives; we’re no longer seeking Him first.

    We often make a thousand different excuses, but God’s Word is absolute. It’s perfect, and He’s faithful to it in every way. His Word will not bend to us, we must be flexible to it—moldable like clay. God’s Kingdom must be the priority, and to the extent that it isn’t, things will be subtracted rather than added. This is law! So, when it comes to marriage, our timetable and lists take a backseat. God requires us to have a heart that yields to His Kingdom. If a successful marriage is our goal, seeking the Kingdom of God has to be our prime objective and motivation.

    Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT) tells us “ But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” If your trust is firmly in God, and your desire is anchored in pleasing Him, His love will be at the root of all your desires. You will not be bothered by the heat when temptations come, and you will not yield when the drought of loneliness knocks at your door. You will stay joyful with bountiful faith, because you are fully persuaded that the fruit of a beautiful and Godly man is soon to harvest.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “‘Hurry Up’ Mode”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Unveiling Of Your Spouse

    Sisters, I know that I can lean on your support and that you’ll give me a pass for venting a little bit. I don’t know if I can take hearing one more Sister in Christ complain that there are no more good men out there. Some of us are actually saying things like, “We might as well get used to being alone, because marriage is not going to happen.”  I’m like, “Really!!! Is this all the faith that you can muster regarding God’s goodness? Are you really going to let words like this come out of your mouth?”

    It’s not as if these daughters don’t know the Word of God; they do. Many of them have been on the Christian journey longer than I have. I get it! They’ve done the daggone thang’ in terms of their careers and jobs. They’re on the grind daily, taking care of their children and holding it down as the head of their households. Some of them are divorced, and others have never been married. They are dependable, hardworking, and they would say that they’re dedicated to the faith, yet when it comes to the subject of marriage, the script flips.

    Let it not be said that we don’t know how to back our faith with good works, because we’re proving it in so many other areas of our lives, but when it comes to relationships with men, and the subject of marriage, we don’t seem to be gaining speed. It appears as if this most precious and privileged blessing is getting away from us, and there has to be a reason for it. I personally believe the problem is doubt. It’s the monkey wrench that keeps us from reaping the benefits of God’s harvest.

    Jesus Christ was talking with the disciples one day, and he told them that he wouldn’t be with them long. He told them not to worry about this, because they knew the way. He said in John 14:4 (NLT), “And you know the way to where I am going.”

    Thomas was a disciple with distinction, and it was not the most flattering kind. He was known for having a doubting heart and mind. This means that Thomas had trouble with walking by faith and not by sight. He relied on his five-sense-knowledge very heavily. In other words, he had trained his mind and heart to believe only in things he could see, taste, touch, hear, and smell; and if he couldn’t experience it in the flesh through the five senses, he would be extremely skeptical and wouldn’t trust it.

    Like many of us, the flesh created a barrier around Thomas, and at times he would refuse to stretch beyond it. His imagination was stunted, because he didn’t use it very much. Christian folks shouldn’t have these limitations, especially when it comes to an area of life that is as important to God as marriage.

    When we pray and ask God for something, He has instructed us to believe to receive it. This is the attitude we’re commanded to have. An attitude of ‘maybe’ isn’t appropriate; it’s not what the Father deserves. Even if we’re inclined to be negative, we should believe God with full persuasion on the basis of His goodness alone.

    We cannot let doubt win and rob us of our futures. Through Jesus Christ we have a sure thing! In John 14:6 (NLT), he said to Thomas and the other disciples, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”  They had been with Jesus throughout his ministry. They should have known this truth, and they should have known the higher calling they had all received to walk in faith. We should know it as well.

    He is the way. All of our methodologies, philosophies, predictions, and dating tricks and treats can’t hold a candle to the way of love, truth, and light that he has made available to us. Getting married isn’t about fairytales or receiving something we think we deserve. It’s a commitment to love through Christ, and assume the responsibility for another person’s life and heart. When our faith is fueled by this commitment to God, and is less about flesh, the light of Christ will shine forth and beautifully unveil our spouses.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Unveiling Of Your Spouse”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Trust In The Promise

    The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 long years because they didn’t believe and trust God. He told them to go in, and to possess the land He had promised, but the spies that were sent to survey and check out the promised land brought back a bad report. They told the Children of Israel that the inhabitants of this land were huge like giants and very scary. Most of the spies held the opinion that they wouldn’t be able to overtake the inhabitants, and this is what they reported back to everyone. God’s people cowered in fear because they were afraid, they thought they’d be squashed like grasshoppers. They had been up against the giant of Pharaoh’s evil rule in Egypt, and God brought them out, but they chose to forget this. It’s pretty unbelievable to fathom that after all the extraordinary things God had done for them in the past, they doubted Him still. Instead of clinging to His unlimited ability and willingness to bless them, they chose to cling to fear. Some of us are making this same choice today.

    In Deuteronomy 11:8-9 (NLT), Moses told the Children of Israel, “Therefore, be careful to obey every command I am giving you today, so you may have strength to go in and take over the land you are about to enter. 9 If you obey, you will enjoy a long life in the land the Lord swore to give to your ancestors and to you, their descendants – a land flowing with milk and honey!” One of the things that we see right away in verse 8 is that the people would need strength to go in and claim what was theirs. Some of us have an attitude of a kid in a candy store. We see all of this yummy stuff that God has made available, and we want it all, but we can’t forget that spiritual strength is a requirement. Cultivating strength is the first order of business in a take-over.

    Moses told them exactly how to keep their strength up. He told them to obey God’s commands. If they did this, they would be strong enough spiritually to move in victory. When they were in the wilderness, one of the first telltale signs about their condition is that they were full of fear. They had not yet sufficiently put on a mindset of faith in God. If they had, they would not have allowed the evil report of the spies to deter them.

    God had promised the Children of Israel something great. The Creator of the Universe and all that we survey had spoken to them through Moses. Heavenly Father made a divine commitment to bless them in an amazing way. During their deliverance from bondage, God caused the Red Sea to open so they could cross to the other side. He fed them manna from heaven in the wilderness and blessed them to come out of Egypt with vast riches of the Egyptian’s treasures. They had gold, silver, and all kinds of beautiful and valuable things. This is what God did for them, yet, they would not press themselves to remember how Heavenly Father had delivered them.

    God wanted us to know this record in His Word so that we would have a firsthand account of what unbelief looks like; so we can witness how doubt and fear will cripple our efforts to move forward in strength. When we are not fortified spiritually, our faith isn’t where it needs to be, and we’re not in a position to take what God has given us. So many of us fail to get into position and assume the posture of a winner because our eyes are focused on all the things that provide an excuse for our immobility. We see God’s willingness to bless us in a very limited way, and this causes our faith to fail.

    I remember hearing a story of a man that had all sorts of physical ailments. He had a bad back. His knees were continually sore, he had a heart condition, and he also had several allergies. A well-known Christian healer came to his city, and the sick man made his way to see him. He told the healer, “Pastor, I’m a very sick man, but if you will ask God to just heal my back, I’ll be satisfied.” This may seem like a very humble request for an ailing person, but actually this man was refusing to stretch forth with the full brunt of his faith. He was asking God to do only a small fraction, because in truth the sick man only wanted to BELIEVE in a small fraction.

    Jesus Christ told us in Mark 9:23 (NLT), “Anything is possible if a person believes.”  Our God is so much bigger and greater than we can imagine. Ephesians 3:20(NKJV) tells us, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” Heavenly Father deals in the exceedingly abundant. He goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think. In the case of the sick man, you might say that maybe he didn’t know any better, but God has made a way for us to always know better. He’s given us His Word, and it is available just about everywhere we look. So, ignorance is not an acceptable defense. It is an excuse for not studying and trusting His Word.

    Heavenly Father wanted to heal every part of this man, not just his back. This is what the healer told him. We need to prepare mentally, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually to receive from God the kind of husband that will bless us wonderfully. If you are prepared, you’ll have faith that you have everything you need to take possession. If you are not prepared, you’ll acquiesce to believe that God isn’t going to bless you. This is fear at its worse. I encourage you to study God’s Word so that you know what is available through His amazing grace, then you will grow in spiritual strength and get more excited by the day about what Heavenly Father has in store for you.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Trust In The Promise”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Making the Right Decisions and Choices

    In James 1:13-14 (NLT), God tells us, “13 And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. 14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.” Temptation of the worse kind is a prompting to do something wrong or unwise. Some Christian leaders and teachers have taught for many years that God tempts or tests us in order to see how we will respond. We have been led to believe that He will do this in an effort to reveal exactly what we are made of. In truth, the scriptures tell us that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. He has all power in His hands, and He knows everything there is to know; this includes every detail of our past, present, and future. He created us and made us new creations through our new birth reality. So, He already knows what we’re made of, and it is our great privilege to affirm it boldly through Jesus Christ every day!

    God is never tempted to do wrong. This is a tremendous source of comfort, and it speaks to His omnipotence and goodness; but the truth that He never tempts anyone to do wrong is beyond an awesome piece of loveliness. It’s wonderful to have this truth in our arsenal of knowledge, so that we know exactly where temptation comes from. It comes from the devil. Some of us have attributed the stuff that comes from God as that which comes from satan. And vice versa; we have attributed darkness from the depths of hell as that which comes from Heavenly Father. We have greatly underestimated the importance of clearly discerning the source of that which is good from that which is evil.

    Our responsibility as Christians is to take by faith all that God says we can have, and then we are to disburse it or give it out, because everything that comes from God will bless, expand, increase, and continue to move forward. That which comes from satan causes a reverse reaction of the worse kind. Out of ignorance and immaturity, some of us will disburse and dole out what comes from satan. When we do this, it boomerangs! It comes back to us, and instead of blessing us, it smashes us in our faces. The hit is often devastating.

    Many of us have seen this boomerang effect in our relationships. It’s no secret that the enemy knows that when we put something negative out there, something negative is going to come back to bite us. That’s his whole game with this temptation business. Temptation will cause this boomerang effect. Many of us Christians have faced or will at some point in our lives face a challenging decision. It may not be apparent to us, or it may not be presented in a way that shouts ‘TEMPTATION’, but sometimes that is exactly what it is. It’s a web the enemy has spun to ensnare us.

    We have to be careful because sometimes this temptation is in the form of a fine specimen who’s charming as all get out, has dimples and a killer smile to boot, and he knows all the right things to say. There’s only two ways to handle it; either we will choose God’s way or the way of the enemy. And we can’t get it twisted, giving in to temptation will always end in regret. Heavenly Father has given us a way to avoid this, and all we need to do is ask for His help. The Holy Spirit that indwells us will give us guidance and direction so that we make good choices and decisions. But if we forfeit the patience and wisdom to heed his direction, the end result is going to lead to more confusion, heartache, and distress.

    In Genesis 39, we have a record of God’s favor on the life of Joseph, one of the 12 sons of Jacob. God caused Joseph to be successful in everything he did. Because of God’s favor, folks took notice of Joseph, including Potiphar, who was Pharaoh’s Captain of the Guard. Now, Joseph was a handsome and well-built young man, and Potiphar’s wife wanted him for herself. She didn’t hold back her advances towards him and tried to seduce Joseph by pressuring him to sleep with her. She allowed herself to be used by the devil to tempt Joseph, but He did everything to stay out of her way and never gave in to the temptations she presented.

    Joseph didn’t have the indwelling Holy Spirit like we have today, but he was committed to stand upon the righteousness he knew. How many of us will be so brave and courageous? Well, God demands that we are strong and persistent in our conviction to honor Him, no matter what the circumstances may be. We must have a made-up mind and heart to live and do what is right. Our stand for God’s way will always lead us down the path of His goodness and bring us closer to the blessings we desire.

    James 1:14 says that temptation comes from our own desires. This tells us that the tempter, the devil, makes a study of our desires, so that he will have something to trick us with. We must never lose sight of this and keep a careful watch for it. Our weaknesses and propensity towards poor judgement furthers his plots and plans.

    We don’t have to walk around being afraid of what the enemy will do. 1John 4:4 declares that the Holy Spirit that is within us is greater than the prince of darkness and his demonic cohorts. Jesus Christ declared in John 16:13 that the Holy Spirit will guide us into ALL truth, and God commands that we walk by the Spirit and follow his guidance. When we do, we can be confident that he will help us make right decisions and choices so that our lives are blessed and pleasing to God.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Making the Right Decisions and Choices”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!