Find A Christian Man

Tag: Growing in the Holy Spirit

Pray for All People

None of us could have predicted such a time as what we’re facing, but it’s here. As with any challenge, this season is a reminder of how delicate and fragile life is. Circumstances and situations reveal that we are definitely not in control, and if there’s anyone that thought they could live without God’s grace and mercy, they are experiencing a wake-up call like no other. Through God’s Word, and through His Spirit as well as many truth speakers, God has warned us to get our houses in order. Now is the time to take a good hard look at where we are spiritually, so that we don’t have an existence marked by ungodliness and pandemonium but instead we are clothed in God’s provision and care.

Times are perilous, and they’ve been this way for a long while. Whenever we face a crisis in these perilous times, God tells us how to approach it in Philippians 4:6(NLT). This verse says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” There can be no question that prayer is our first line of defense. Heavenly Father is all-knowing and all-powerful. He knows every detail of anything that has happened throughout the history of our existence, and He knew it well in advance. Regardless of what the situation is or how conditions look, He tells us to pray.

There should be no doubt in any of our minds that prayer from a multitude of believers all over the world will turn things around. Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in 1Timothy 2:1-2(NLT), “1 I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 2 Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.” As God’s children, He instructs us to take on His nature. This means that we should practice the example of Jesus Christ daily. When it comes to actively living through God’s love, we should never assume the posture of sitting idly by with our hands tuck beneath our laps. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must get busy doing what the Father has commanded us to do.

2Timothy 1:9(NLT) says, “For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus.” We have received a holy calling from our Dear Heavenly Father, and to walk in this calling is going to require some things of us, and prayer is chief among them. James 5:16 tells us that the prayers of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. This is because of what the obedient believer carries in them. The Holy Spirit lives inside us, and we have been given the authority of Jesus Christ in the earth. With this authority comes the privilege and honor to partner with Heavenly Father by praying for others.

We can look at the current times and see that as Christians we haven’t been as diligent as we should when it comes to praying for our country, its citizens, and its leaders. But Jude 1:17-21(NLT) encourages us to tighten up:

17 But you, my dear friends, must remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ predicted. 18 They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. 19 These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them. 20 But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, 21 and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.

This passage should ignite our renewed commitment and responsibility to live holy and pray often. We don’t know the day nor the hour when our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will return, but it’s our duty and call to keep our house in order, to remain alert and on guard, and to pray for all people. Then, we should seal our prayers with the deepest level of gratitude we can muster for how good God has been to each of us. Heavenly Father has brought us a mighty long way, and He will never leave or forsake us when our trust is firmly anchored in Him through Jesus Christ. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Pray for All People” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 8, 2021
I Wasn’t Expecting It!

I’ve heard many lasting love stories from people that say they weren’t expecting to fall in love. Many would confirm that the reason their love is so special is because they met at a time when neither or at least one of them weren’t looking for love; it just happened. Some would argue that it doesn’t matter if one is looking for love or not, as long as when they find it, they keep the flame of their love burning a lifetime.

Jeremiah 17:7-8(NIV) says, “7 But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. 8 They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” God is love. Therefore, we know that love is indeed the Source of life’s vitality. Love is meant to last, because God’s love endures forever. The passage in Jeremiah 17:7-8 is such a yummy piece of truth because it informs us that our roots can be anchored in the love of God, so much so that everything we touch yields something pleasing to Him. The way to have this fruitful touch is to make sure our confidence is firmly planted in our Heavenly Father.

I think it’s safe to say that the number of Christian single people looking for love outweigh those that are not. Many of us are praying to God for a spouse, and we have been praying for an answer for quite some time. Through the prophet, Jeremiah, God has told us that trusting Him is our blessing, because He is a God that cannot fail. So, when it comes to the manifestation of our desires, a closer look at our own beliefs, actions, and attitudes is warranted. If we strip back all the layers in our hearts this very second, the truth will reveal that many of us are not fully trusting in God’s goodness. Deep down, many of us believe that for some reason God is keeping the blessing of a spouse from us. This belief blocks our faith, because it is a belief that isn’t based on God’s truth.

Through the prophet, Jeremiah, God also gives us more incredibly valuable information. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the heart of a person can be hopelessly dark and deceitful, that it’s a puzzle that no one can truly figure out or understand. We all think we know ourselves so well, but God knows us infinitely better. He knows every detail of our existence. He knows our motivation for every thought, feeling, word, or deed. The heart reveals what we’re really about, and sometimes it shows that we are more motivated by our own self-interest than we are by pleasing God and doing what He requires.

No single person can effectively demonstrate faith without the wisdom of the following verse in Jeremiah 17:10. It tells us that our extraordinary Heavenly Father searches our hearts and examines our minds. He does this to reward us according to our conduct; He rewards based on our true motives and intentions. Somehow, this revelation escapes many of us. We think He ought to reward us when we haven’t aligned our will with His Will. We expect the blessing when our hearts are still full of things like pride, selfishness, jealousy, and anger. He will not reward our bad behavior, but what He will do is help us expel these toxins from our lives.

2Corinthians 13:5(NIV) tells us, “Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves.” This requires the courage to look in the mirror and to see ourselves honestly. The psalmist said in Psalm 139:23-24(NIV), “23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” This same attitude and mindset must be present in our hearts as we approach the throne of God in prayer and worship.

An inward look at our own hearts begins a sacred dialogue with God that should never end. With every spiritual elevation we undertake, there must be a willingness on our parts to seek God for clarity about what causes our hearts to be closed in some areas and open in others. We must invite Him to do a work within that will unveil healing revelation after revelation. We are His handiwork, and He wants to bring blessings into our lives, the kind that are expected and some that are delightfully unexpected. And although the unexpected are sweet surprises, they require us to stay prepared by increasing in the example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. When we do this, we’ll have a heart that pleases God because it will be overflowing with His Word and love.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“I Wasn’t Expecting It!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 16, 2021
Looking for Treasures Where There Are None

When a man decides to go down on one knee and ask a woman to be his wife, it means she’s presented to him something that makes him decide to deny the pursuit of any other woman. He chooses as his wife the woman that satisfies something within him. This choice signals the world of this man’s intentions. A woman then has a choice to make. She can either accept the man’s offer of marriage, or she can deny it. If she denies it, in a perfect world they’d both go their separate ways, and part as friends. They’d realize that although one person is ready to make this commitment, the other is not in agreement; therefore, they can’t walk down that aisle together. But if both are in agreement, they can make something beautiful together. This is what many single women are hoping and praying will happen to them one day soon.

The most important decision two people in a relationship will make is deciding if they should get married to one another. But before this stage is even a consideration, the two of them should be walking in agreement with God, seeking Him continually for those all-important green lights. We can’t be naive about this, because many people have been blind-sighted. They thought they received an ‘all clear’, when actually they didn’t. Sometimes, single people will translate good chemistry between them and the new person as a sign. In this scenario, the conversations are good, the new guy is saying all the right things, and he checks off most of the qualities on the top tier on their list. Because a single woman may have been praying a long while to meet someone of this caliber, she makes certain assumptions. Then, when things go wrong and don’t work out, she questions God as though He bears the responsibility for her poor choice.

The fact that we want to see certain characteristics in the person we hope to marry is admirable. To list them out is a worthwhile endeavor, but if we take the time to think and process what we desire in a mate, there’s another list that should have come before that one. It’s the ‘To Do’ list of our responsibilities to our Heavenly Father. The reason that we can’t have one without the other can be found in James 2:26(NLT). It tells us, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.”

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that it is impossible to please God without faith, and from a practical standpoint, we know that faith is necessary for everything we do in life. Most of us know that we’re to have positive confessions and to get our thoughts aligned with the mind of Christ in order to walk in faith, but James 2:26 reminds us of one other crucial component. It tells us that for faith to be lively and active, it must be backed with the right actions.

Some will think that signing up at several dating sites is backing their faith with the right action. Others begin to go out more and involve themselves in various recreational activities, and they would say that these are actions geared towards backing their faith. We must consider that it’s very possible we need to dig a little deeper and travel more closely aligned with the Spirit, because the Spirit will take all the guesswork out of the equation. He will tell us exactly what we need to do to back our faith. James 1:5 tells us that God will not rebuke us for asking for His wisdom and guidance.

Jesus Christ warns us in Matthew 6:19-21(NLT), “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” We must think twice about looking for treasures where there are none, because if we’ve stored them on earth, the enemy will have a field day with them. Make sure your treasures are of the heavenly kind. These are those that can be stored there for safe keeping.

If our treasures are in heaven, our heart will be there too. This doesn’t diminish our pleasure but increases it. When our heart is set on pleasing God, He will reward us. Jesus Christ instructed us in Matthew 6:3-4(NLT), “But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.” This is instruction from our Heavenly Father on how His flow of rewards is handled. We must be mindful that any ol’ thing we choose to do will not be rewarded. God’s stamp of approval must be on it in order for it to count. So let’s change up our strategy by placing it under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Then we can be confident that our desire for marriage does not override our commitment to make loving and honoring God our number one priority.■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Looking for Treasures Where There Are None” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 9, 2021
3 Questions You Must Answer

If the person you’re dating isn’t ready for a marital commitment and you are, what are you expecting to happen? Do you expect that he will change his mind? Are you assuming he’ll grow more in love with you or are you willing to simply continue with things as they are? It’s important to ask yourself these questions and to examine the answers with as much scrutiny as possible. The major reason for this is because the answers are a good indication of how you see yourself and how you see God responding to your desire for marriage.

1 Do you expect that he will change his mind?
Heavenly Father did not intend that relationships would be as challenging as they are. But this is the thing about us humans, we bring complexity and confusion into just about every arena of life. 1Corinthians 14:33 tells us undoubtedly that God is not the author of confusion, so our goal forever and always should be to let His peace abide with us. The only way to achieve this is to seek and understand His Will.

Genesis 1:26(NLT) tells us, “Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” God created us in His image, and He also gives us our mission. It is to reign within the earth’s realm. This is God’s Will! He did not give any human being the right to reign over another person. We can’t see into another person’s heart, and we cannot control their minds. We are to have dominion and authority in our own lives. This means we cannot change how someone responds to us. The most that we can do is change how we respond to them.

2 Are you assuming he’ll grow more in love with you?
Love is a commitment, and it is a commitment we must honor through the Lord Jesus Christ. In John 15:13(NKJV), our Master Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” His example reveals that love isn’t consumed with what we receive, it is about the commitment we make to love and serve others through Christ. Again, humans complicate things way more than they need to be. We have taken the infallible treasure of love and tried to dice it up and split it in several different ways that suit our own agendas. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has demonstrated for us what love is and how it behaves, so we don’t get to put our spin on it. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and if authentic love is our goal, it must be expressed through our faith in Him.

After God created Adam, He saw that Adam was lonely. Genesis 2:20-23(NLT) tells us: “20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. 23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” Adam had all dominion and authority in the earth. He was not weak or lacking because he was created from God’s glory to be perfect in every way. But Adam was without a companion, and it was always God’s plan to make Eve from Adam’s body, so he would have a perfectly suited spouse to love.

Because God loves us, just as He did for Adam and Eve, He will take care of our needs. If we are representing Christ in the way that God requires, we should never allow ourselves to be overly concerned about whether someone loves us back. Instead, loving God through the Lord Jesus Christ must be our main focus and concern. 2Corinthians 3:5 tells us that God is our Sufficiency. Another person cannot fulfill that role, and if we think they can, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. Therefore, we can never, under any circumstances, try to make another person our source or sufficiency. God is our Source. We must be very careful that we’re not trying to make a person our everything or depend on them to be. If we do this, we’ve stepped away from God’s love and may be in jeopardy of idolatry and obsession.

Are you willing to simply continue with things as they are?
God wants us to have happy lives and happy marriages. He doesn’t want to make our pleasure any less but wants our joy to be full. To accomplish this, the love of Jesus Christ must be firmly anchored in our hearts. When it isn’t, God will help us if we want to be helped. As we accept God’s help and commit ourselves to be led by His Spirit, we must accept that change is inevitable.

Things do not stay the same, and life doesn’t afford us the opportunity to continue being the same person we’ve always been. Therefore, we should not expect that the person we love will go on being who they are either. Life supports growth, change, and evolution; and all of it hangs on God’s purposes. Proverbs 19:21(NLT) says, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” So, the wisest thing we can do is be patient as God shows us what He has planned. Then, we can make decisions and choices in alignment with His Will, because these will be the best decisions and choices we can make for our lives.■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“3 Questions You Must Answer“, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 2, 2021
Get Out of Your Own Way

One of the young women that I counsel has finished college and is ready to get married. She’s bright, intelligent, attractive and loves the Lord. But often she feels like she’s not doing enough with her life to please God. She says this because of her unfulfilled desire to meet the Godly man that will be her husband. She’s fully aware that just because a man is a believer and loves the Lord, this doesn’t mean that he’s the right one. Like me, she knows women in her family and community that have believed this and leaped into a relationship with a saved man, thinking there was no chance for error. They were wrong. So, she wants to meet the man that God has planned for her destiny, but there’s also a part of her that questions if it will truly ever happen.

God has given us this innate desire to partner for a reason. The union of marriage has been a part of His plan from the beginning. It teaches us many lessons that aid our relationship with Him. So, we should never feel indifferent to our desires to be married. It is a perfectly natural desire, and our Heavenly Father will take care of it, just as He does every other aspect of our existence. The thing we must be careful about is the tendency to want to rush things. Many single sisters feel a void in their lives because they haven’t yet partnered. When this happens, feelings of loneliness or sadness creep in as well. This can cause a sense of urgency, and many of us become desperate.

Desperation hinders our desires because it tells a lie about God’s willingness and ability to bless His beloved children. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8 that our Heavenly Father knows what we have need of before we ask. You and I don’t get to define our needs for God, nor can we dictate to Him how He should fulfill our needs. 2Corinthians 3:5(NKJV), tells us, “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God,” He’s our sufficiency. Everything we need flows from Him.

When we’re desperate, we tend to get in our own way. We don’t always know what to do with the void we feel, so we try to fill it ourselves. Doing this can harm our relationship with God, because He has told us that our lives don’t belong to us; they belong to Him. He commanded us in Romans 12:1 to present our bodies to Him as a living sacrifice that is holy and acceptable to Him. This is the least we can do for all He has done for us.

To get out of our own way is to put Jesus Christ totally and completely in the driver’s seat. He said in Matthew 16:25-26 (MSG), “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?” We must have a track record of yielding to the Spirit when we feel emotionally taxed or out of whack, so that when we’re married, we won’t lash out at our spouses, or use our emotions as a way of punishing him. Instead, we will constantly go back to God every time and allow Him to lead and guide us through those tough times through His Spirit.

How many times have I rushed things in my life just to get somewhere quick and in a hurry? How many times have I wanted things to happen in a hurry just to satisfy my own desires? I think this happens to a lot of single Christian women – particularly when it pertains to meeting someone and wanting to get married. We want the man to show up in our lives when we think we’re ready. 1Corinthians 7:17(MSG) instructs, “And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.”

When the single woman realizes this, she will find that she doesn’t have to rush through life or figure things out on her own timing. God wants the absolute best for all of us. He wants the single Christian to have a loving and Godly spouse if that is their desire. But even more so, He has given us the roadmap on how to get there. Get out of your own way and allow the counsel and guidance of God to direct and lead the path in your life. He will take care of your needs and His timing is always perfect.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Get Out of Your Own Way” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 12, 2021
Show Me Where to Start

“This isn’t right – I gotta fix this…I miss my family!” This is what a close friend said to me as he described what made him fight for his marriage. With two children, a mortgage, and a job that he didn’t feel was worth waking up to each morning, it became more than a notion for this man in his thirties; it had become overwhelming. He and his wife had separated after only five years of marriage, and during their separation, he grew even more despondent. He began to feel so isolated from his family that he couldn’t see how he and his wife could fix what was broken. Neither one of them could imagine submitting to the other for the sake of their family’s unity and peace.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5:9(NLT), “God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.” There are many ways to bring peace to any situation, but it takes humility, love, and a heart that is eager to please God. Peace work requires that we release all claims to pride, and the need to control and be right. This is very difficult for some of us. Anyone that is going through or has gone through a difficult time in their marriage can attest to the fact that it’s easier to run away from the problems than to stand strong and face them head on.

As women, we have endured a lot, and still continue to endure a great deal. We don’t have the luxury of being weak; too many depend on our strength. We run to God because like the song says, ‘we’ve tried Him, and we know He’s all right!’ Our backs have been against the wall enough times to know that He’ll never leave us or forsake us, but sometimes our strength is entangled with stubbornness. Our tenacity, when it’s stretched too thin, can be tainted with bitterness. Then we say to God, “Why is it always me that has to change? Why do I have to do all the emotional acrobatics all the time? Why doesn’t he ever have to come clean and surrender too?”

Our Lord and Savior answers these questions so beautifully in Matthew 5:13-14(NLT), “13 You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless. 14 “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” We add flavor to the lives of those we love and know, and it is because we are the lights of the world. It should be our highest privilege and honor to show people the unyielding endurance of the love of Christ. Forgiving others keeps us salty. Making peace keeps our light bright. He never said it was easy. It’s hard work sometimes, and that’s why peace-work comes with such great rewards.

It doesn’t matter how many times we have to rein ourselves in, especially when we’re cringing and about to burst because we want to say something and speak our minds so bad. We must hold our tongues. The rebellious part of us despises this. We don’t want to submit to anyone, and we don’t want anyone to have authority over us, but the truth of it is that marriage requires submission. Both spouses must be submissive and committed to one another. And yes, sometimes it will feel like one person has a greater portion of this than the other, but the wonderful part about it is that God blesses those who work for peace. The reward will be evident in the quality of our unions.

No matter how broken things may seem, we can roll up our sleeves and ask God to “Show me where to start!” He will show us how to create an environment of humility through the love of Christ. We must have faith that God will always hold us up, even when we let our guards down in our marriages. When we let down those barriers of rebellion, we will have cultivated a space and place where our partners feel emotionally safe to do the same. Through Christ, we can choose to be the peacemaker, and we will never regret the decision to do so. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Show Me Where to Start” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 22, 2021
It’s Time

There’s a question every woman that is single and waiting for the right man to enter her life must ask. It is whether wait mode has caused her to hit the pause button on other vital parts of her life. Sometimes we can do this and not realize it. We might begin to feel that we can’t have a certain level of fulfillment unless we have a spouse or a significant relationship. In Matthew 16:19(NLT), Jesus Christ said “And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.” This verse is exactly the wisdom we need to release the pause button. If we take heed to its wisdom, we’ll head down a path that pleases God and helps us unlock a truth within that every successfully married woman has opened.

For many single Christian women, the wait month after month, year after year, has gotten to be exhausting. A sister friend said to me just the other day that she’s been divorced for twenty years, and she never thought she would be single that long. She declared boldly, “It’s time!” I was moved by her declaration and pray that she will cross paths with her future spouse very soon. I’m sympathetic because I have experienced this same frustration, feeling that the wait has been too long. On top of this, it’s discouraging to see so many women that are experiencing the same frustration.

I’m a firm believer in asking critical questions. I was brought up to believe that a person should never question God, but I have come to know that this isn’t an approach that leads to enlightenment. We can’t open the door to greater truths if we don’t ask questions. So, we must come to God through the Lord Jesus Christ, and humbly ask Him the questions that are on our hearts. Then, we must believe that He will give us the answer. James 1:5(NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” If we feel we’re waiting too long for a blessing to come to pass, we must ask God about it and be courageous enough to face the answer. Because this answer will most certainly lead us to a greater demonstration of faith in God through Christ.

Wisdom is necessary for any pursuit, and it is most certainly a must for marriage. God doesn’t keep His wisdom a secret. He is a God of order, and He tells us how to walk in His blessings continually. The wisdom that leads to walking in God’s blessings continually can be found in Matthew 6:33, where Jesus Christ tells us to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first, and blessings will be added to us. This is a very simple thing, but some of us have made it quite complicated. This verse shows us what is most important to Heavenly Father, and it is that our hearts are anchored in our desire for Him more than any other thing. This speaks to intimacy in our relationship with God. He is showing us how this intimacy is supposed to look. When He sees our lives, there must be irrefutable evidence that seeking Him is our primary focus.

As women, the desire for marriage and wanting to cross paths with our future husbands feels very natural to many of us. Why is this? Could it be that the desire for marriage is ingrained within? Could it be that somewhere inside of us there is a knowing that marriage is a part of our destiny? Could it be that we pursue our desire for marriage because we can’t imagine not pursuing it? Think about the answers to those questions and then pull the measuring stick out further. Ask yourself if you’ll move to a new city or town if you knew you’d meet your future spouse there? Would you give up a bad habit for his happiness? Would you spend less and give more for the betterment of your marriage? If you will do these things for a human being, you must be willing to do much more for God.

This strong desire for marriage comes from within, but I submit to you that the purpose to which God has called us is an even stronger desire than the one for marriage. And we will sometimes use our desire for marriage and other things as a way of avoiding the real work that God has called us to do. Our purpose within God’s plan is a treasure that He placed within us in Christ before we were born. We are not allowed to wait until we are married to begin to walk in it.

Successfully married women of God are convinced of their purpose in the Lord Jesus Christ. We don’t have to know all the details of our purpose, but there must be evidence in our lives that when we are called to carry forth something for the Kingdom, we won’t allow anything to keep us from doing what God has asked of us. Only this kind of commitment to God can sustain the foundation on which a lasting marriage will rest.

If it requires waiting a hundred years, we must be convinced that God will condition us and give us the strength to wait, and that at the end of our wait will be a tremendous reward. The Apostle Paul gives us a picture of what this looks like in Philippians 4:11-13(NLT). He said, “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

We can’t afford to put our purpose on pause for any person or any reason. God has no pleasure in watching His daughters yearn for a blessing year after year. He expects us to trust that the secret of living is knowing we can do everything He desires of us through Christ. The secret of living is being committed to follow the example Jesus Christ has given us. Be confident that even though you don’t see things coming together on the marriage front, they are. Let God see that you have placed your desire to please Him above all others. Be willing to spend however long it takes to prove this to Him. When our trust is firmly in God, He will do as He said in Isaiah 45:3 and give us treasures He’s stored up for us. He’ll do this so we will be convinced that He is the One True God, and He is a Father who never fails His children.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“It’s Time!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 14, 2021
The Only True Famous One!

Male celebrity with his bodyguard against a vehicle

Years ago, my sisters and I were traveling and while waiting in the Atlanta airport one summer, we spotted a famous R&B group. They made a veiled attempt to travel incognito, wearing shades to hide their identities. Folks that are accustomed to the perks of celebrity often have an energy that craves attention; this musical group seemed to have this energy in abundance. My older sister recognized them instantly and was very excited to see them. Too nervous to ask herself, she told me to see if they’d give us an autograph. Having been in the company of a few celebrities myself, I had no reservations about walking up to them and asking the lead singer for his autograph. He didn’t acknowledge me at all, and just kept walking as if I wasn’t there. I was totally shocked at his arrogance and nonchalant attitude. I thought it was incredibly rude, and now that I’m older and wiser, I recognize that truly the only person worthy of being singled out and praised is the Lord Jesus Christ. We must get this straight so that when it comes to our future spouses, we’re attracting someone who is loving and not arrogant.

I’m still amazed, even today, by the number of people who get beside themselves when they are around famous individuals. In Galatians 2, the Apostle Paul explains that he depended on the Holy Spirit to teach him the great truths of God’s Word. There were some in his day that were considered heavy weights in the faith, who were famous, prominent and had risked their lives to spread the Gospel, but Paul was not interested in the reputations of others. He was not focused on the work that others were called to carry out. He was focused on his relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and he was committed to carry out what God had called HIM to do. He said in Galatians 2:6(NLT), “And the leaders of the church had nothing to add to what I was preaching. (By the way, their reputation as great leaders made no difference to me, for God has no favorites.)” Sure, it’s great to meet those that have gleaned a certain level of success, but God doesn’t put one person higher than another. He sees us all the same.

Proverbs 4:23(NKJV) warns us, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” We draw things to us based on what is happening in our hearts. Some individuals do nothing but complain about their lives. Not finding anything positive to converse about, they spew out negativity continually. They may say they are thankful for God’s blessings, but in their hearts, they are so busy feeling sorry for themselves that there is hardly any room left for gratitude. Speaking poorly about their conditions and the conditions of others, this person has a negative outlook on life. They have a negative attitude and mindset, and because of this, they attract to themselves the very thing that is in their hearts and minds. This creates a negative cycle that engulfs them. It is the very reason that God commands us in Ephesians 4:23 to be renewed in the spirit of our minds.

Even before they’ve met their future spouses, some women are very willing to make the man their everything. This signals the heavens that she is poised to place the needs of the man over the requirements of Heavenly Father. To renew our minds is to have a change of heart. And not only must we renew our minds and change our hearts so that we never do this, but we must demonstrate the actions that back up our understanding of Matthew 6:33. We can place nothing before our relationship with Heavenly Father, not even our emotions.

Psalm 24:1-5(NLT) tells us, “1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him. 2 For he laid the earth’s foundation on the seas and built it on the ocean depths. 3 Who may climb the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? 4 Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies. 5 They will receive the Lord’s blessing and have a right relationship with God their savior.”

Unlike some celebrities, our Lord is beyond approachable. He is accessible 24/7, 365 days a year; anytime of day or night. And the best part of it all, He wants us to know Him in the most intimate way. He desires a relationship with each of us. We shouldn’t be star-struck by a mere mortal. No human being has come close to doing something on the level of laying the earth’s foundation or putting the sun, moon, and stars in orbit. Our God is our Savior! He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He’s the only true famous One, and when our relationship with Him is where it needs to be, our hearts will light up with the joy of Christ. Then we will please God, and He will set our feet on the path to the blessings we desire most. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“The Only True Famous One!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 8, 2021
More of We Than Me

My youngest daughter and I were reading one of her books before she went to bed. One of the sentences in the book stated, “I wish for more of we than me.” I instantly thought about how many single women are waiting for their status to be changed from ‘me’ to ‘we.’ They want their lives to include a man by their side instead of it always being themselves alone. “We” encompasses what God has ordained for the man and the woman. He declared this in Genesis 2:18. In this verse, He tells us that it is not good for the man to be alone, so God made a helper for Adam and named her Eve. The ‘helper’ aspect of partnership is an attitude, willingness, and requirement that is part of the foundation for marriage. It is also true that a good many of us will let this ‘helper’ distinction of partnership slip by us, but it is a big mistake to do this, and here’s why.

Truly God covers us in His amazing grace, but we can look at our own lives and see clearly that His grace does not exempt us from obedience, NOR does His grace reward us for disobedience. We can dance around this all day and all night, but the thing we need to pay attention to is the realities we face daily. We need to pay attention to what is rewarded in our actions and what is not, because rewards are the evidence of our diligent effort. ALL blessings are spiritual. If the blessing we desire most isn’t manifesting itself in our visible circumstances, this is a spiritual issue. Spiritual issues must be dealt with spiritually.

God does not withhold blessings, and He doesn’t punish us for any reason. You might ask, “Well, why hasn’t my Mr. Right showed up?” To answer this question, we must come face to face with the truth God has told us in His Word. One of those truths is that God’s blessings continually flow; they never cease. In many cases, the blessings we seek are already in the earth. Your destiny partner may have been born around the same time as you were. He is in the earth right this very moment, doing his thing, as anxious to meet you as you are to meet him. The thing that separates you from him has everything to do with what is happening with you internally.

Philippians 2:5(KJV) tells us, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” This is not a suggestion by any means. It is a direct commandment, and there is no wiggle room for error or personal interpretation. It is crucial that we learn to think a certain way in order to position and condition ourselves to receive, and this certain way is to think like Christ. It is to have the same attitude, behaviors, and motivations that he had. When it comes to the provision or presentation of a helper, this mind that is in Christ is the only mind that will guide us on the path to the blessing we’re seeking.

The example of Jesus Christ contains all the lessons of life, but as it relates to marital partnership, there are simply some lessons about his example that we are not allowed to miss. The lesson of “WE” is at the top. The first set of instructions regarding “WE” can be found in the Words of our Master Jesus in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), where he tells us, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” The most important partnership of your existence is with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. When this relationship is where it needs to be, you will be rewarded with ‘all these things.” This is God’s promise.

Something happens internally when the button for unyielding dedication to God is switched on in your soul. ‘Helper’ mode is activated. You no longer see yourself as “I”. You see yourself as someone that is purposed to achieve something meaningful for God’s Kingdom. You see yourself as a helper to your marital partner, and you see this as an EXTENSION of your partnership with God. This is a realization and comprehension that cannot come from the world. As you read and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit can help you comprehend mentally and emotionally what is required of you for this deep dedication and commitment first to God, and then to your spouse. It is a dedication and commitment that first must be evident in your relationship with God, and out of your relationship with Heavenly Father, your union with a spouse can be birthed. Marital partnership is a reward for being committed to God. Without this commitment to God, it just doesn’t work.

Often, when some people hear about the dedication and commitment God expects, they become offended and fearful. They think God expects them to be perfect, and this scares them because they believe it is a standard they are unable to meet. God has this part handled. He tells us in John 16:13 that His Holy Spirit that dwells within us will guide us to all truth. You and I are not perfect. We have been saved through God’s amazing grace, and there’s no mistake that we can make that Heavenly Father can’t correct, but our faith in Him must be constant. So, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being humble before God and recognizing that He alone can and will direct our paths and help us, but our allegiance to Him is the foundation upon which our future marriages must rest.

Marriage is God’s institution, and it was created for His purpose. God knows the person that will best help us to fulfill our part in His Will and Plan. He knows the person that will greatly benefit from the kind of help we will provide. But you’ve got to play catch-up if there’s no evidence that ‘helper’ mode has been activated in your heart; because the level of commitment we have to this role as a helper of ‘WE’ is the thing that pulls the blessing closer.

It is a given that we desire to share a bond with someone, but our desire for this bond should never outweigh or come before our commitment to serve God and expand His Kingdom. It is time for us to wake-up and recognize that Heavenly Father is looking at what we are doing today, this very moment, as a helper who is committed to HIM! This says all there is to say about the commitment we’re ready to make to be a helper to a spouse.■

New King James Version (NKJV)
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“More of We than Me” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 1, 2021
There’s Nothing Like Getting What You Want

Isaiah 40:31(NKJV)) says, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Every time I hear someone talk about how exhausted they are from dating the wrong person or waiting longer than they’d like to in order to meet the right person, I think of this verse in Isaiah 40:31. All blessings come from God. This is something we must remember continually, so we don’t end up getting tricked out of what is rightfully ours. We can become so impatient that we miss the very opportunity we’ve been waiting to receive. Heavenly Father doesn’t want us to miss out, and this is why He tells us to keep our minds focused on Him. He knows exactly what we need, and only He can give us the blessing that we really want.

We shouldn’t try to force things, but the truth is that all of us get a little impatient. If we’re being honest, we must admit that we sometimes get tired of waiting for the blessing to manifest. As foreign as it might seem to our way of thinking, it’s actually waiting on the Lord that renews our strength. So even when our hearts are heavy from disappointment, there a few things we can do to help us mount up and stay energized and encouraged for the fulfillment of God’s promises.

#1 Lean on God’s peace

Not long ago, someone came to me with a heavy heart about the man in her life. She seemed fed up and exhausted as she expressed how disappointed in herself she’d become. She’s been waiting a very long time for a commitment from her boyfriend. They’ve been together off and on for almost five years and neither one of them have ever been married. She said to me, “I know in my heart that I love him so much, but my head is telling me enough is enough.” I was not about to advise her to follow her heart…OHHH NO! Our hearts don’t always lead us down the right path. What I did say to her was to allow the peace of God to rule in her heart first, so that she’s clear enough to make the right move.

When we’re agitated and frustrated, we don’t think as clearly, and we miss things. This is when we tend to yield to impatience. A better strategy is to lean on God’s peace. When we cast aside worry, doubt, and fear, and pray in faith with a thankful heart, Philippians 4:7(NLT) tells us, “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

#2 Conserve and Target your strength

Isaiah 40:31 tells us that God will renew our strength. This lets us know that sometimes our strength dwindles, leaving us feeling depleted and empty. A relationship with a person that isn’t helping us grow spiritually can do this to us; it can deplete our reservoirs. Some of us invest all our energies into the wrong person, and then we don’t have the spiritual discernment or strength to even recognize or attract the right person.

You and I are responsible for reaching out and grabbing the blessings with our names on them, and this takes spiritual strength. To make sure you’ve got something that God can renew, a wonderful practice is to conserve your spiritual strength. Then you can target it towards the person that deserves it and is destined to receive all that you are able to give.

#3 Be joyful in the wait

Proverbs 13:12(NLT) tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” We are perfectly within our right to hope for marriage, but sometimes we place this hope in a person that isn’t a destiny partner; it’s not the person who can help us grow and thrive in the long run. When we don’t anchor our hope properly, it can become deferred, and we are often heartsick about it. This is especially true when it becomes clear to us that a relationship with a person isn’t going to work out. It hurts, but it shouldn’t cause us to abdicate our dream. The lesson from this is that we shouldn’t make the mistake of placing all our hope in a person. People will let us down, but God never will. Hope must be placed in God through the Lord Jesus Christ. A hope that is deferred can give us extra time to redirect it properly. This means that we will be committed to anchor our faith in God even more, and to be thankful that He is more committed to make our dreams a reality than we could ever be.

There’s nothing like having hope in something or someone and then suddenly, your dreams become a reality! Heavenly Father wants us to experience this joy, and He’s helping us to achieve it. Romans 5:5(NIV) says, “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” The wait for the blessings we desire can most definitely be challenging, but we must remember that God has given us His precious Holy Spirit through Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit is our proof that when we focus all our hope on the faithfulness of God, we will not be ashamed.

There’s nothing like getting what you truly want, and this is why it is important to be patient in the process. We can be joyful in the wait because our Heavenly Father is helping us prepare to receive through the Lord Jesus Christ. No matter how long it takes, it is always better to wait on God so that the relationship we receive is the one we’ve always wanted. We can have confidence that if we remain prayerful and trust God with our whole hearts, we never have to worry about being disappointed, because God is faithful!■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“There’s Nothing Like Getting What You Want” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 24, 2021