Find A Christian Man

Tag: Overcoming Obstacles

  • Taking Ten Steps Backwards Instead of Forward

    Taking Ten Steps Backwards Instead of Forward

    Do you think it’s a good idea to contact an old boyfriend just to say hello? This is what a sister-friend did recently, and she’s starting to regret she ever made that decision. Initially, she thought it’d be okay since the two of them ended their relationship on good terms. Their last conversation had been pleasant, and she thought it wouldn’t hurt to check in. Anyone that’s ever been lonely knows that it can mess with your head sometimes. But even so, we should never let anything persuade us to try and make dead things be useful. It hardly ever works, but loneliness can trick us into throwing wisdom out the door, and we find all kinds of excuses to justify doing so. My sister-friend said to me, “Kim, God is not going to do for me what I can do for myself.” This way of thinking was the permission she gave herself to text him.

    Like my friend, many single women can’t imagine continuing to wait for companionship. Most believers understand that God is delighted to bless His people. Romans 8:32(NLT) says, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?”  Psalm 84:11 affirms God’s sovereignty and light. It tells us that He is our sun and shield, that He is generous in His gifts and glory, and He will not withhold any good thing from those that live righteously before Him. This is wonderful assurance and comfort to us as believers.

    God wants us to have faith in Him, and to trust the Words of our Master Jesus when he taught us in Mark 10:27 that with God all things are possible. Our faith must be firmly anchored in God through Christ, and of this there can be no doubt, but Heavenly Father wants us to know the difference between standing in faith and doing things to get ahead of it.  

    Spiritual maturity in Christ requires that we know that our boundaries and timing are set by the Father. He appointed the time of our births, and He knows our days upon this earth. Nothing about us escapes our Heavenly Father. He knows every detail of our existences, and He never misses a beat. We are not an island to ourselves. We are not on our own. All that we are is in Christ and we can’t do anything without him. If God’s Will is our motivation in life, the proof of our heart’s motivation will be our desire to link only with those God has ordain.

    Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NLT), “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ only did those things that pleased God. The logical question for you and me is “how did he know?”  How did Jesus Christ know what pleased God? The answer to this question is that he read and studied God’s Word, and he was in constant prayer and communion with Heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit. Jesus came to the earth to show us how to do this. Through his life and ministry, he taught us how to cling to God and walk in fellowship with Him so that we have confidence that our moves are ones the Father would have us to make.

    Jesus Christ also said in John 5:19(NLT), “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” Jesus Christ is providing a window for us to see what it looks like to move by the impetus of the Holy Spirit. If he, the only begotten Son of the Living God, said that he can’t do anything by himself, then certainly we ought to know we can’t do anything by ourselves either. Jesus did what he saw the Father doing. If He didn’t see the Father doing it, he didn’t do it. This is the level of commitment that God must see in us.

    We can’t say that we have faith God will bless us with a good and Godly spouse and then not have faith that He will show us when, how, and what to do to move in alignment with what He has ordained. When it comes to something as important to our lives as a compatible and worthy partner to walk with us through life, God would not leave it to chance. My friend didn’t place her faith in the reality of this truth. After speaking with her ex-boyfriend, she felt relieved that he didn’t meet her with opposition, but he also didn’t give her any indication that he was happy that she reached out to him. She ended the conversation with him the same way she started it—taking ten steps backwards instead of moving forward. She came away feeling rejected because her ex didn’t respond to her other texts. This kind of situation can always be avoided.

    Understand that Heavenly Father wants us to move from blessing to blessing, with the abundance of overflow in every area of our lives. God only wants what is best for us, and He made provision for all His children long before any of us were born. There is no doubt that we have been pressing in to receive the great desires of our hearts, but our prayers must come in alignment with what GOD has planned. He is faithful and He cannot fail. Pray that He will establish within you everything that is required for your own spiritual growth and maturity. If you allow Him, He will ready you for what He has in store, so that your gifts and abilities are sharpened. When you let HIM prosper you, everything will fall beautifully in place. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Taking Ten Steps Backward Instead of Forward”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • He Showed Up and Showed Out!

    He Showed Up and Showed Out!

    Some of us are facing challenges that we’ve never faced before. These are unprecedented times, and we want God to perform the miraculous in a way that we’ve never witnessed. If you’re like me, in the past, you might have heard your mother and grandmother talk about how God showed up and showed out on their behalves. In our younger days, we might not have understood what they meant. Back then, we didn’t quite grasp the impact that God’s grace and power made in their lives, but our current circumstances have made the impact of His grace and power crystal clear to us. Life hasn’t been easy, and with everything the enemy has thrown at us, there’s no way we would have made it this far without God. He’s kept us, walked with us through the storm and brought us out of it. Now is not a time for fear and trembling. It’s a time to show God that we know who He is and what He can do. Now more than ever, we must trust Heavenly Father with our whole hearts.

    The Christian walk is filled with many obstacles and challenges, and our Lord and Savior never hid this from us. He told the disciples in John 15:19(NLT), “The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.” There is nothing more rewarding and exquisite than living for God through the Lord Jesus Christ, but make no mistake, there is a cost. Trials and tribulations come with the choice to serve our Lord and Savior.  With those challenges will also come great victory and triumph as we travail over life’s difficulties through faith in God.

    There’s something we learn about God as we go through the storms of life, and we would not learn these spiritual lessons otherwise. In Colossians 1:11(NLT), the Apostle Paul communicates his prayer for the faithful in Christ in the city of Colosse. This prayer is necessary for all of us to continue growing in the example of Christ. He said, “We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need.” This is such an important prayer because we desperately need endurance and patience. They build trust in our relationship with Heavenly Father, and they are necessary to accomplish the goals He has for us.

    Being single year after year, going through the pain of a divorce, or dealing with other of life’s hiccups and missteps all require a certain strength and courage. The point that must be impressed on your heart is that with each trial or tribulation you go through, God is with you. He told His people in Deuteronomy 31:6(NLT), “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” In Joshua 1:9(NLT), He said to His people, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” God’s people living in Old Testament times were servants, but those of us living after the resurrection of Christ are God’s children. So, beyond a shadow of doubt, we are covered under God’s protection and care. He will never leave or forsake us.

    God has a very loving way of teaching us the spiritual lessons of love. He doesn’t force us to learn them, but He walks with us at our own pace. The process of preparation when it comes to marriage is no different. There are some lessons we need to learn, and our patience is not long when it comes to this. We want to be married yesterday, but if we move too quickly, and get ahead of the Holy Spirit, we will end up being disappointed and perhaps devastated by the outcome. No matter the problem or issue, God will always show up and show out in our circumstances. He walks with us, and His ultimate goal is always to see us blessed and thriving in Christ. We are living in turbulent times, but God has not changed nor will He. He is faithful to bless us, so let’s have confidence in Him and trust that He will restore, heal, deliver, and promote us if we remain patient and endure. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “He Showed Up and Showed Out!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • You May Want It but It’s Not Good for You

    You May Want It but It’s Not Good for You

    God designed the human body to naturally have certain desires and cravings. We all know what these feel like. Whether it’s craving food, power, fame, money, a favorite drink or a particular person, sometimes we crave things so strongly that we will do just about anything to acquire them. Our Lord and Savior has given us an approach to handle these cravings, so they don’t get out of control. In Matthew 26:41(NLT), he tells us, “Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” This is very important information for us to know, because the enemy tested Jesus Christ, and he uses our cravings to test us. If we’re expecting God to bless us with the desires of our hearts, our commitment to stand guard and pray must be proven.

    Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in Galatians 5:16(NLT), “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” This is a very practical verse, and God is telling us exactly what we must do in our lives. The Holy Spirit is the one to take the lead. He is to lead, and we are to follow. This is God’s divine plan, and it will keep us from giving in to temptation, so we won’t do what our sinful nature craves. Here, we have a distinction of two natures, and one of them is the part of us that craves sinful things that go against God’s plan. It is our sinful nature, and Romans 8:7 tells us that this sinful nature is always hostile to God. It is corrupt through and through.

    The other nature that Galatians 5:16 tells us about is the spiritual nature. It is the nature of our ‘spirit man’ that was recreated through our new birth experience. This is the transformation that took place when we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. 2Corinthians 5:17(NLT) tells us, “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” Our spirit man was dead to God before we accepted Christ, but after we were saved, our spirit man became alive through Jesus Christ, giving us new life!

    God’s people living in Old Testament times did not have the new birth experience. They had to offer sacrifices continually from the blood of animals to cover their sins, because Jesus Christ had not yet come to the earth and given his life as a sacrifice. It is different for those of us living after the resurrection of Jesus Christ. We live through him, and because we do, we can stand strong through prayer and faith, and resist temptation that comes by way of plots and tricks from the enemy.

    For many of us, if we’re being honest, even though we have the spiritual strength through Jesus Christ to resist temptation, we don’t. We have longings and cravings for certain things, and when we’re in relationships, some of us allow feelings and emotions to take over. Then we find ourselves in situations that are less than Godly. The body wants what it wants, but what it wants isn’t always good for our lives, and it’s not going to help lead us to the place where God wants us to be. So, if your mind isn’t renewed to the Word of God, you might easily let your cravings and emotions call the shots. This isn’t pleasing to God, and we must pray fervently and frequently to grow in Christ and let our Master Jesus call the shots, not our emotions or cravings.

    Galatians 5:13(NLT) tells us, “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” We are free from a life of sin and strife through Jesus Christ! This freedom should be used to serve others in love, and the eyes of God are on us to see how we do this. Our commitment to honor God through loving and sharing, and being obedient to Him, demonstrates that we are serious about the commitment to honor our marriage vows and to be the spouse He desires us to be. We cannot say that we have faith in God to present us with a compatible mate, yet we don’t demonstrate the faith to turn from sin like He tells us we can. Let’s make sure we are praying to God for the spiritual strength to stand strong when confronted with temptation, so that nothing the enemy does will destroy the wonderful plan God has for our lives. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “You May Want It but It’s Not Good for You” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • I Thought I heard from God

    I Thought I heard from God

    Genesis 1:27-28(MSG) tells us, “God created human beings; he created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!” God is our Creator, and He has made us in His image. 1John 4:8 affirms that love is not just what God does, LOVE is who He is! Therefore, you and I can know resolutely that we were made from God’s love. And with His love, many things are woven into our beings. For instance, we know that one of the things God desires from all of us is an intimate relationship. So, it should come as no surprise that as children made in His likeness, a desire for relationships comes baked in our makeup. This desire is a product of God’s love. It shows us that love will always seek to expand and increase, and that our desire for partnership is very natural.

    Because love is so important to us, sometimes we allow ourselves to be manipulated and mistreated in the pursuit of it. In Hosea 4:6, God tells us that His people are destroyed because of ignorance. This makes it clear that we can be severely harmed or taken out because of what we don’t know. It’s apparent why Heavenly Father tells us in Proverbs 4:7 that wisdom is the principal thing, and that we should make every effort to attain it, and to also get an understanding about how to apply this wisdom. Not prioritizing the attainment of wisdom over the pursuit of a relationship can be a very dangerous thing.

    We must know that the enemy was once an angel of light, and he knows how to counterfeit light very well; it is something he uses to trick us so that we fall into one of his traps. The aim, of course, is to keep us blinded so that we focus our attention on the counterfeit and miss the true blessing that is meant for our lives. To get a visual of what this looks like, we don’t have to look too far. Most of us have heard these hurtful stories. We have seen it in our own families or have experienced it ourselves. We have a tremendous capacity to love, and with this comes the desire to cling to a relationship that is past it’s expiration date, and to keep on loving even when the other person no longer feels the same way.

    A friend that did this said to me about the man she loves, “I know I heard God tell me he was the one.” In truth, she had already made an emotional investment in the man before she even thought about consulting the Lord. She had made up in her mind he was the one before seeking the wisdom to know for sure. After three years of dating, she’s devastated because she truly believed that the man she had been devoted to was in her words, “the man I’m meant to marry.” We must be careful not to betray our better judgment in this way. We must wait on God. If we ask for His guidance and wisdom, He is sure to give it.

    Love is an area of life where we desperately need wisdom. God doesn’t make mistakes. His first priority is our spiritual growth in Christ. Therefore, partnership with God through the Lord Jesus Christ will always come first with Him. It would be out of His divine order to give us a treasure of another person, when we are not even handling ourselves righteously before Him. Jesus Christ warns us not to be so consumed with getting that we are not able to respond to God’s giving. He tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first, and all the other blessings will be added to our lives.

    If we desire a wonderful relationship, but don’t have the proven spiritual strength, wisdom, and maturity to handle it right now, Heavenly Father doesn’t tell us ‘no’. He helps us develop well-formed love so that we are able to handle the thing we desire most. We don’t have to be perfect, but we do have to demonstrate that we will always and forever put God first, no matter who comes into our lives. God is the glue that holds everything together, and we must wake up to this truth, otherwise, we’ll keep going down the wrong path and continue the cycle of making the wrong kinds of decisions. Heavenly Father doesn’t want this for us. He wants us to be wise, spiritually strong, and confident in His love, and when we are, we’ll be prepared for the treasures He’ll send our way. ■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. 

    “I Thought I heard from God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Stop Mourning What Could Have Been

    Stop Mourning What Could Have Been

    One of the things we do when we’re in a relationship is reshuffle our lives to make room for the new man. Most of us see this as a welcomed change, and we’re happy to do it, but when the relationship doesn’t go as expected, it can be very challenging. On top of the heartache we’re experiencing, we must do even more reshuffling. We have to acclimate ourselves to the reality of our disappointment while trying not to miss a beat with the other important things in our lives. Even though most of us will try to smooth over the gaps that were left vacant by the absence of this person, things can’t go back to the way they were. Try as we might to get back to that place, we just can’t. This can be very difficult for us to accept, especially when we’re facing the holidays.

    For most of us, the holiday season comes with both its share of joys and stresses. There are increased demands on our time with family and work gatherings, and not only this, there’s the pressure of gift giving on our finances. Of course, the joys far exceed the angst. It’s a beautiful season that reminds us of warm coziness, closeness with those we love, and most importantly, remembering the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. All of us want it to be a celebratory time that we share with that special someone, but not having this person in our lives shouldn’t be a game changer.

    There are some truths that we as believers must accept, and one of them is that everything, every detail, from the smallest to the greatest, happens for a reason. Heavenly Father created us in such a way that we change, evolve, and grow through knowledge and experiences. He tells us in Ephesians 4:23(NIV), “to be made new in the attitude of your minds;” In Romans 12:2(NIV), He said, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This means that we ought to learn lessons of wisdom from our mistakes and change our thoughts and attitudes so that we’re better from our breakups and not worse. Our goal through every success and disappointment should be to excel in Christ, because as we learn more about him, we are transformed into the person God created us to be.

    This doesn’t happen all at once. After we’re born-again through Christ, our spiritual journey in him begins. It’s never a backward regression. In the realm of God, there is only one trajectory, forward and upward. As we walk in the Holy Spirit and allow him to teach us about Jesus Christ, we’ll go higher and higher. It is awesomely important that we trust this truth, because it will help to build our faith. It will help us to be anchored in the truth that although things didn’t turn out the way we wanted, God’s plan for us is not deterred. He will cause all things to work together for our good.

    Some of us are very tempted to let a breakup send us backwards, but our faith in God ought to be anchored in what He’s doing now and what He will do in the future. We want to go back to who we used to be, or we want the man back in our lives so things will be as they were. We should never want to go back because there’s too much to look forward to.

    The children of Israel living in Old Testament times are an example of the wrong attitude and mindset. In Numbers 14:22-23(NIV), God said, “Not one of those who saw my glory and the signs I performed in Egypt and in the wilderness but who disobeyed me and tested me ten times—not one of them will ever see the land I promised on oath to their ancestors. No one who has treated me with contempt will ever see it.” God’s people were forbidden to see the Promised Land because they refused to believe that their latter days would be better than their former days. They wouldn’t trust that God would increase them as they pursued His Will and promises in faith. Instead, they cowered in fear and doubt, complained, and wandered around in the wilderness. We should never allow this to be said of us.

    John 3:16 tells us that God loved the world so much that He gave us His only begotten Son. He gifted to all of us the most precious offering He could make. At God’s appointed time, something new and extraordinarily wonderful came into the world. This is the God we serve, and it is something to celebrate every day. We’re not the same person we were, and that’s nothing to be sad about. We learned how flexible and strong we are when we have to be. Don’t constantly make a memorial of your past at the expense of your future. With God, all things are possible, and when we make Him the focus, we can stop mourning what could have been and prepare to embrace the newness of what will be.■

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Stop Mourning What Could Have Been”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Our Unlimited Treasure

    Our Unlimited Treasure

    In his parable in Matthew 13:44(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field.” Can you imagine going out into a field and stumbling on a hidden treasure? If you’re a person of great wealth already, you might not be as thrilled to find this treasure as someone that is living paycheck to paycheck. But imagine that this treasure is more than monetary or financial blessings. It’s the treasure of your greatest heart’s desire. Perhaps it’s the spouse you’ve been waiting to meet, or the friends you’d like to have in your life. Maybe it’s good health or restoration of something precious that you’ve lost. Whatever the treasure is, it is beyond valuable to you, so much so that when you find it in a field, you’re beside yourself with joy. You can’t take this treasure with you because it’s too vast for your arms to carry, so you make sure it’s hidden away in the field, so that it’s well kept until you come back for it.

    A parable is a simple story that is used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson, and Jesus Christ often used them. They were easy to understand for those who were not quite able to grasp the deeper spiritual meaning. It was relatable and easy for people to envision someone being overjoyed about finding a treasure, because most of us would be ecstatic about this. But this parable requires us to go a little deeper than whats on the surface. In order to grasp what Jesus conveyed through first, the treasure; second, the fields; and third, what it took to secure them, we must seek to have a greater understanding, particularly for those who desire to know the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven.

    In another verse, Matthew 6:21, Jesus Christ talked about treasure as well. He tells us that wherever our treasure is, our hearts will be there with it. This means that you and I go after what we treasure most. If we treasure material riches, we’ll pursue that. If we treasure relationships with others, we’ll pursue those. Jesus is pointing out to us that the Father sees us according to our hearts; this is what speaks the truth about who we are. In other words, God knows what we value most by what we treasure in our hearts.

    In Matthew 13:44, Jesus very clearly tells us that the Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure. In truth, the Kingdom of Heaven is far greater than any treasure you and I can imagine, because the Kingdom of Heaven can’t be limited by our human understanding. However, so that we can comprehend on some level the enormous and unlimited value of the Kingdom of Heaven, Jesus tells us it is LIKE a treasure. It is a treasure that has no equal, so when a man finds it in the field, he has stumbled upon something for which his excitement is unbridled.

    The question for us is whether we have this level of excitement for the things of the Kingdom, because God expects to see it. He tells us in 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT), “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”  The eyes of God continually and consistently probe the earth, looking to land on the person who has a heart that is loyal and committed to Him. When He finds a person with this kind of heart, His strength and power is unleashed on this person’s behalf.

    So many of us are wondering why we’re not witnessing a mighty move of God in our circumstances, yet, we get up every morning with a pessimistic view of our lives and everything in it. We’re complaining about one thing or another, and excitement about being a part of the Kingdom of Heaven is the furthest thing from our minds. So, when His eyes land upon us, He doesn’t see unbridled gratitude and excitement about being His child. Instead, for many of us He sees our choice to let dissatisfaction, worry, resentment, phobias, fears, grief, loneliness, and doubt consume our souls.

    1Corinthians 4:20(NLT) tells us, “For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.” Many of us don’t get excited because we lack faith that God has empowered us to live with His power. We have the wrong vision of ourselves; and therefore, since we have the wrong vision of ourselves, we have the wrong vision of God. We must understand the impact of our feelings and thoughts; we must comprehend the colors they paint on the portrait of our faith.

    The Kingdom of Heaven is our unlimited treasure, and it is worth losing everything we own to obtain it. Understand that it isn’t enough to say that we think we know this; the evidence is at the very core of who we are. The way we truly feel about God’s Kingdom is evidenced in everything we do, think, feel, and say; there’s no faking this. So every day, you and I should make a commitment to ask the Lord Jesus Christ to help us in this area. We must grow in our understanding of the treasure we have within through our relationship with God through Christ. We must invite the Holy Spirit to do a work within, so we have a greater revelation of what God has given us, and a greater level of gratitude and excitement for being the recipients of His unlimited treasure.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Our Unlimited Treasure” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Forgetting the Things of the Past

    Forgetting the Things of the Past

    We should never judge a book by its cover. This is one of those golden rules, and it truly is one to live by. Judging something solely on the basis of what appears externally can be a costly mistake, and many single women can testify to this. A person can be pleasing to the eye, but what’s going on inside of them can tell a completely different story. When you’re dating someone like this, it can be the most disappointing thing. The person looked to have it all together, but after getting to know them a little better, something just isn’t quite right. Regardless of how a person looks, when there’s an incompatibility between souls, it leads to all kinds of complications. This is a lesson that should prompt us to look in the mirror, because many of us look the part of a woman that’s got it going on, but on the inside, we’re burdened and suffering. Many of us never stop to think that our refusal to let some things go may be blocking us from the blessings we are destined to receive.

    We all know women who hide behind their pain. Marilyn is one of them. The odd thing is that she’s someone that no one would ever suspect is unhappy. She’s 39 years old and married with two children. She’s been a high school teacher for many years, and all her students love her. Her husband adores her as well, and she is a very loving mother, but Marilyn is also a very sad woman on the inside. Her bathroom shower is her place of solace, and there she cries her heart out just about every night. She is very tired of feeling sad but doesn’t trust that anything can make it better.

    Thoughts of her past are tormenting. She copes with it during the day by keeping as busy as possible, but at night the memories come flooding back in. Something happened years ago that shook her to her core, and she refuses to allow anyone to see her pain, not even her husband of fourteen years.

    It is shocking to think that a person can function with this much pain and do everything within their power to keep it from everyone else. The truth is that many of us do this because we’ve never learned how not to do it. The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14(NLT), “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Whether we know it or not, God is giving us a strategy for handling a troubling past, and Paul proved that it works, because if anyone had a troubling past, it was him. Paul trusted Christ, and through God’s grace, he put his past behind him.

    He tells us that we have to focus, and this focus comes in two steps: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Both of these work together, but sometimes we make a habit of looking back. The fear of looking forward has tripped many of us because we think we might be disappointed if we get our hopes up. It’s just like meeting a very attractive person and discovering they have a really yucky personality. It’s a let-down, but that doesn’t mean that every attractive person is this way. There are some people that are beautiful on the outside and inside. So, something horrible may have happened in the past, but we shouldn’t give the past so much power that it shapes and molds our futures.

    In 1Corinthians 3:10, Paul said that God had given him the grace to be a wise master builder, and because of this empowerment, he had laid a foundation. This is what you and I must do as well. We must build on the foundation laid by Jesus Christ, and the way to do this is to have faith that he will bless us and keep us surrounded in his safety. In John 10:10, Jesus Christ said that he left the throne of God and came to earth to make a more than abundant life available to us. It is up to you and I to walk in faith and manifest this abundance. We can have fulfillment, liberty, and love in our lives through Christ, and we must be sold out on the truth of this. We can do it, because God said it can be done. We don’t have to get stuck in the past because we are afraid to be happy in the present, but this is what Marilyn did. She was afraid of so many things, and she worried all the time. Nothing made her happy, and she expected to always be disappointed, no matter the situation. She would not allow her heart to trust Jesus Christ.

    Trusting Jesus Christ with our pain is the solution! We don’t have to walk around with a bad attitude and allow pain to paint our hearts with darkness and fear. We can choose to forget the past! Jesus Christ instructs us in Matthew 11:28-30(NIV), “28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” The rest that Jesus Christ gives us is spiritual. It’s supernatural, which means it bypasses our understanding. Our only responsibility is to simply surrender to his care.

    Meeting the special person that God has ordained for our lives is truly a blessing. We want them to be compatible with us, but we should honor the reality that they will want the same thing. Meeting someone that is one thing on the outside but something completely different on the inside isn’t anyone’s ideal soulmate, so we should do everything in our power not to be someone like that. Wear the love of Jesus Christ by accepting it totally and letting it saturate your heart. Don’t cling to the past, cling to him, because you can’t do both. Release your burdens to him, and trust in the blessings that God has in store for your life. You can do it because Jesus Christ says you can. Focus on trusting him and you’ll be amazed at the difference it will make in your life.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Forgetting the Things of the Past” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • It’s Time to Get Off This Bumpy Ride

    It’s Time to Get Off This Bumpy Ride

    2Thessalonians 3:15(NLT) gives us a tremendous jewel of comfort. It says “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all.” This verse is so comforting that we might forget to absorb the wisdom of it. Heavenly Father is a God of peace. He reiterates this for us in 1Corinthians 14:33, which again tells us that He’s not the author of confusion or disorder but of peace. This aspect of God’s nature is very important to us because we are blessed when we bring forth His peace into chaotic situations and conditions. But sometimes, even though we try to be peace makers, people will reject the peace of God. They don’t want any part of His peace, because it will mean they have to accept the responsibility that comes with it. This rejection can be particularly hurtful, and potentially harmful, when the person who rejects God’s peace is the most significant person in your life.

    In the beginning of a relationship, both people are usually on their best behaviors. You are learning each other’s mannerisms and quirks and trying to build a friendship that deepens as time progresses. Sometimes women are less patient with this process than their male counterparts. This is especially true if she has been without a partner for a while. I remember hearing a dear sister say that she’s never been the kind of woman that turns the heads of most men. She’s always been the one that they see as just a friend. So, when she first met her current boyfriend and he took notice of her, she threw caution to the wind and leaped into the relationship full force.

    The problem with this is that sometimes both people do not want the same things and haven’t come to a true understanding about this. As God’s daughters, naturally we want to be a blessing in our ministries as wives and mothers. And not only this, we want the promises of God to be manifested in our lives. He loves us, and we know that He desires our happiness more than we desire it for ourselves. We are dedicated to trusting that God will bless a marital union with someone that values us as a compatible, loyal, and committed life partner. This is our expectation, and it is a realistic one. However, it can potentially create disharmony in a relationship when the other person doesn’t want the same thing.

    Have you ever been on a roller-coaster ride? This is essentially what a relationship of disharmony feels like. It’s the feeling of creeping up to the top of the ride, plunging down the other side, turning upside down, and then back up again. This is what it feels like to be in a relationship that has no direction or destination. You’re flip-flopping. At times things feel okay, but deep down you always know they’re not. Often the peace of God is missing in a relationship like this, for God tells us in Amos 3:3(KJV), “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Heavenly Father wants us to receive the blessing of a beautiful marriage, and sometimes the person we’re with just isn’t willing or can’t offer this to us.

    Even though we don’t make it blatantly obvious, some of us carry resentment, and its because we won’t face reality. Just beneath the surface is anger because the person we love is refusing to cooperate with our agenda. It comes out in the relationship in many ways. You may continue to tell yourself that the relationship is worth hanging on to and that eventually he will want to get married, but Godly wisdom and perspective is necessary. We must be so careful that we have the courage to have a mind that desires God’s peace more than a piece of a relationship.

    God’s peace conveys confidence that we’ll meet a man that equals our capacity to give and love. When we meet him, we’ll know it deep within, and more importantly, he’ll know it too. It is beneath the privilege of God’s daughters to have to try and convince a man we’re worthy of a marriage commitment. At some point we should desire to get off the bumpy, unsteady ride of a relationship that isn’t grounded in the peace of common goals, common love, and common commitment to God and to one another. Want what God has for you, and don’t be afraid to release something that isn’t from Him.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “It’s Time to Get Off This Bumpy Ride” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • You Will Have It All Again!

    You Will Have It All Again!

    There is little in life that is more emotionally painful than going through divorce. For many people, it’s a tremendous loss. God tells us a little bit about how He deals with our losses in the encouragement of Joel 2:25-26(NLT). In this passage He said, “25 I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you. 26 Once again you will have all the food you want, and you will praise the LORD your God, who does these miracles for you. Never again will my people be disgraced.” The locusts in the verse are symbolic of the devil, for he is a thief who steals ruthlessly, taking all and leaving nothing behind. The latter part of verse 25, where God says that He sent the great destroying army, God is speaking from the perspective of His Permissive Will. We need to know what this means for us, so that new opportunities for love are greeted with a faith that isn’t held back by lingering remnants of fear.

    The first five words of this passage are “I will give you back…” This suggests to us that indeed something can be taken away. Loss is a terrible feeling, but there are times in life where we will experience it, and sometimes we wonder why. Why does God allow so much to be taken from us—things that are very important to our sense of well-being? We can become very resentful about this because we’re so sad and hurt. The truth is that when a marriage results in divorce, there were challenges within the marriage that we were not spiritually mature enough to handle. God didn’t fail us. We simply lacked the spiritual strength and knowledge to face our fears and overcome them through faith.

    God doesn’t want us to have a pity party and go into self-condemnation about what has transpired in our past. He wants to help us prepare for what is in our futures. The passage in 1Corinthians 13:4-8(NLT) tells us, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” Fear will tell us that this is a standard we can’t meet, but the mind of Christ will press us to breach the walls of our comfort zones to love in greater ways. This is the lesson we should all learn from our previous relationships.

    Divorce is often an indication of how much the devil was able to use fear as a weapon against us. Sometimes people will say things like, “My Ex was too selfish…” or “We just weren’t ready for that kind of commitment.” We will even blame the other person. Time passes, the pain of the breakup subsides, and we begin to pray for new love. This is wonderful, but if we didn’t examine ourselves in an effort to make sure what happened in the past doesn’t happen in the future, we may lack the humility and growth to enter marriage again.

    2Timothy 1:7 tells us that God has not given us a spirit of fear; He’s given us a spirit of love, power, and sound mind. These are not just mere words; the spirit of love, power, and sound mind are eternal treasures on which the foundation of any relationship should be built. God has given us these spiritual goodies and we need to grow in them, because the devil will constantly test us to see if fear is present.

    Fear belongs to the devil. If it is present in our hearts and we act upon it, it gives the enemy a way to invade our marriages legally. Heavenly Father’s Permissive Will allows these attacks because His provision through Jesus Christ has already given us the armor to stand strong no matter what we face. He commands us to put on ALL the spiritual armor He has provided and keep it on. We must have the courage to ask God if we are fortified in the places we weren’t before. If we aren’t, He will let us know, and He will help strengthen us so that everything we lost in divorce, we can have it all again. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “You Will Have It All Again” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • What Are You Waiting For?

    What Are You Waiting For?

    The wisdom of Ecclesiastes 11:4-5(NLT) tells us, “Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I have always loved this passage because it can be easily and practically applied to daily living. The context of this passage pertains to those who sit back and wait for conditions to be perfect before they prepare their hearts and minds to take care of God’s business. We see this posture quite often in believers, and dare I be so bold as to say, we see it very prominently displayed in many single men. Some will say they must be more financially secure before they seek a wife, or they need to get all the ‘playerism’ out of their systems before they make that matrimonial move. It’s important for us to use the wisdom of God’s Word when this game is being played. Then we can put the ball in God’s court, so that we don’t end up on the sidelines when it comes to marriage and living the dream.

    Heavenly Father uses the practicality of a farmer in His Word because every human that is living, or who has ever lived, is on this earth to sow. If we fail to understand or engage this element of our responsibility as God’s children, we miss the whole ball of wax. There’s so much labor involved in farming, and it ain’t easy. It’s sometimes arduous work. Now, a farmer that’s NOT on the grind and isn’t about business will use any excuse to prolong the wait. He or she will not even go out into the fields until they think conditions are prime for it. A diligent farmer will rise early and get to work no matter the conditions. She or he has learned to be productive, rain or shine. They can make do whether the harvest is plentiful or small.

    The context of Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 also reveals something about our expectations. To sow is to invest. It is to plant something with the expectation that it will yield something greater. Sisters, this is a very important definition to consider. Sometimes, we give the best we have to offer to a man, including our bodies; and he’s not even the one. We make this overwhelming investment with no indication of yielding the return that such a hefty investment is due. We don’t get the courtship. We don’t get his time. We don’t get to know his loved ones. We don’t get sweet and sentimental gifts, and we don’t get a ring. We were farmers, but not on good ground.

    Good ground is ground with a track record of producing beneficial crops. So, the logical thing to do for anyone seeking to be a spouse is to make sure they are good ground, that they have done what is required of them by the Lord Jesus Christ. They’ve committed themselves to good deeds, because we know from James 2:14 that if we say we have faith but haven’t done the good works to back it up, then our faith is dead. What good to a marriage is dead faith?

    We are God’s children; this means that we already have all we need to be powerful and impactful human beings on this earth. We don’t have to wait on anything to get good deeds done – we just have to DO! Ephesians 2:10 tells us that we’re God’s workmanship, that He created us in Christ Jesus specifically to perform good works. So, we have to ask ourselves if we’re good ground according to God’s standard. If we are, then the right farmer will certainly recognize it.

    What are you waiting for? You’re waiting on God to bring your harvest! But this means you had to have planted some good seeds of good works. Heavenly Father designed things in such a way that we are both farmers at times, and good ground at others. As believers that desire a good and lasting marriage, we ought to be sowing seeds that please God. We’re not doing it solely for the benefit of finding a spouse. We should be doing it because that’s what Heavenly Father has asked us to do. The investments we make to share, give, and love others according to the example of Christ will set us up for future blessings. 

    Do yourself a great favor and continue to prepare for your harvest. Recognize that the good deeds you do for the Lord are adding up. As a farmer, you can’t expect that every seed will sprout at God’s appointed time. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 9:38 that God is in charge of the harvest. He will reward you with a spouse that is worthy of your investment. Until then, keep planting good deeds, and don’t let any lazy farmers play around with your good ground. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What Are You Waiting For?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.