Find A Christian Man

Tag: Overcoming Obstacles

  • Don’t Long for the Good Ol’ Days

    “Those were the good ol’ days.” It’s a saying we’ve all heard at one time or another, and most of us agree that times of the past seemed to be a little sweeter—maybe a lot sweeter. We’re of the mindset that what we use to do and have is better than where we are today, or for that matter, where we’ll be in the future. It’s sort of a pessimistic viewpoint, but it certainly isn’t without some merit when you look at what’s going on in our world today. This less than optimistic lens is one in which lots of folks view life, but as God’s children, we are commanded by Him to focus our attention on what HE says about things. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a good plan for His people, a plan to give us a future and a hope. In John 10:10, our Master Jesus backed this up by making it plain that he came to give us a more than abundant life. So, no matter how bad things appear, we have it on God’s undeniable authority that better days are ahead.

    Regret can be very toxic, especially if we camp out in it for too long. I had a conversation with a sister not too long ago, and she expressed how much she wished she could have a do-over with her life. Boy, can I relate. I wish I had listened more attentively to those who gave me sound and Godly advice in my early years; if I had, I could have avoided costly mistakes. On the other side of the spectrum, those mistakes helped mold the strength of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ that I have today.

    The woman I spoke with said she wished she would have waited to get married. She believes her husband was unfaithful for most of their marriage. I am pained every time I hear something like this. Imagine pouring yourself into a person that is supposed to be your best friend and main support for 25 years, and they betray you not once, but repeatedly. Like many sisters that have endured this kind of deep hurt, she says she would never consider marrying again. Some of you may be thinking, “I can’t blame her!”

    The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14(NLT), “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” These are our marching orders, and they encompass an attitude and mindset that prompts us to forget the past and look forward to what lies again. This is the energy that will back our commitment to press. But even a neophyte knows that to maintain the motivation and strength to press, you must be sold-out that the joy in front of you far exceeds the pain you’ve left behind.

    Relationships gone bad can leave us depleted and emotionally exhausted. A negative attitude adds to the pile. Jesus Christ urges us to come to him when the enemy has used people against us. This is the way to avoid going totally sour on the possibility of loving again. We are not to spend our time looking back at old times with regret. We all have some wouldas-couldas-shouldas, and hopefully we’ve learned from them, but the most important thing we can do for ourselves today is to trust God’s plan for our lives. It’s not a plan that causes us to go back, but to move forward in faith with tremendous expectancy about the good that comes next! So, don’t look back with regret. Let your faith in God keep you excited as you humbly submit to His Will and plan for your life.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Long for the Good Ol’ Days”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Red Flags and Flashing Lights

    Sometimes, it isn’t enough to tell a person not to do something, but they have to know why they shouldn’t do it. The same premise applies to the do’s and don’ts of partnering. It isn’t enough to tell you NOT to do something that will adversely impact your quest to get married. In order to provide you with substantive tools that will greatly aid your quest, you have to know WHY you should or should not do something. The right knowledge is power, and the source of all right knowledge is God’s Word. It is the definitive authority on everything there is. Heavenly Father tells us in 2Peter 1:3 that through His divine power, He’s given us everything we need for living a good and Godly life. He’s provided access to this kind of life through the knowledge of His Son, Jesus Christ. So, everything that you and I could possibly need to be fulfilled, accomplished, and happy can be obtained by living our lives by the example of Jesus Christ. Whenever we veer away from living our Christ reality, red flags go up and flashing lights appear. When it comes to your quest for marriage, you have to ask yourself if you’re ignoring these warnings.

    In Romans 12:1(NIV), God tells us, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” God wants to live through us so that we are more effective in introducing His Kingdom on earth, and so that our experience of life on earth is more fulfilling and abundant. He desires to work in us to will and do of His good pleasure. He never takes from us, but gives continually; and in Romans 12:1, He’s asking us to give Him greater space in which to work in our lives. He’s asking that we present ourselves before Him as a living sacrifice. This informs us right off the bat that sacrifice is a very important piece to living through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is also a very essential component to preparing for and maintaining a marriage.

    In order to rescue believers from the pit of hell and purchase us back from the ruler of darkness, Jesus had to offer his life as a sacrifice for our sins. He had to die the most horrific death imaginable. Hebrews 12:2 tells us that this was a price he paid gladly because of the joy that was set before him—the joy of having us, you and me, in God’s family. He did it to please the Father, and because of his great love for us all. You and I were not capable of ransoming ourselves from the devil. Our sinful nature kept us locked in his dungeon of darkness and despair. But although we could never have paid the price that Jesus paid, we should understand the pattern that he’s set. Through his example, Jesus Christ has demonstrated pure faith. He showed us that sacrifice is endured gladly when the joy of the reward is believed wholeheartedly.

    Do you believe God will bless you with a good and Godly husband?
    Have you sacrificed fleshly pleasures because of the conviction of your faith?

    There can be no question that there are going to be some things we have to give up in order to gain more and go higher. Some of those are things we find pleasurable. Everything in life, and when I say ‘everything’, I mean EVERYTHING in life is spiritual. If you want to understand the ‘why’ of things, you must put them in the context of spiritual. God is a Spirit. He created everything there is, and everything that He created flows harmoniously with His divine Will, which is good and perfect in every way. Whenever the intention of our minds and hearts seeks to step outside the Will of God, we will experience in life what amounts to red flags and flashing lights. These come in the form of interrupted peace, mistakes, missteps, and hiccups. We would do ourselves the greatest favor by taking corrective spiritual action before things become worse.

    In Matthew 16:19, Jesus Christ declared that He’s given us the keys to the Kingdom, which means whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven; whatever we bind on earth, will be bound in heaven. When it comes to the choices and decisions we make daily, we have only these two buckets of which to cast our energy and resources. We either bind or loose. SIN binds, OBEDIENCE looses.

    It’s important to understand this because we don’t always make the best choices when it comes to honoring our temples. We can’t partner with sin and expect a Godly result. Heavenly Father is a God of order, and obedience to Him requires that we follow His Word. Women hold the keys to a happy and fulfilling marriage through being obedient to God’s Word. You represent the greatest asset in your own quest to partner in marriage, but understand that God can’t help you partner in sin. He’s helping you prepare for what you’ve been praying about by loosening the walls around your heart, so that you love freely and unconditionally, through HIM! Red flags and flashing lights in your circumstances are queuing you in that disobedience has reared its ugly head. Don’t ignore the signs. Line up your actions and decisions with God’s Word.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Red Flags and Flashing Lights”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • I Want to Have a Marriage, Not Just BE Married

    Recently, a wonderful young woman stated to me very emphatically that she is tired of being single, but she followed this statement by also affirming her conviction to wait on the Lord. She said she doesn’t want to just be married for the sake of saying she’s married. She wants to have a real marriage. We know that many today are not as patient as God desires, so considering this young woman’s age, I couldn’t help but to be incredibly impressed with her stand. I know women twenty or thirty years older that haven’t demonstrated this level of faith. In a nut shell, this young sister is believing God to bless her with a man that is worth every inconvenience her temporary single status may require. She’s fully-persuaded in the Lord, and seasoned sisters can learn a thing or two from her made-up mind.

    Young women in their twenties have seen some of the mistakes that many of us more mature women have made in our relationships. Desperation has not been our friend, and has caused us to acquiesce in ways that ended up betraying us. Some of us poured all we had into relationships with men that may have been right for someone else, but weren’t right for us. We tried to force that square peg into a round hole, and the result of this pressure was a fractured heart and very often emotional exhaustion. Some of us walked away from it saying we would never marry or love again.

    So, our young sisters are cautious, but very hopeful and optimistic about what God has in store for them. They have a preponderance of new revelation and an impressive understanding of sound doctrine from God’s Word. They hunger for genuine intimacy in their relationships with Heavenly Father, and this more than anything else, is going to secure the foundation of their future marriages.

    Proverbs 4:7(NKJV) says, “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” God gave us the Book of Proverbs to lead and guide us in His wisdom. Much of this book is designed to instruct young folks, so that they will not be given over to youthful lusts and end up wasting their valuable time on costly and foolish mistakes. God tells us that wisdom is the principal thing. This means that we should make the attainment of wisdom a serious priority.

    Many of us desire to marry a man that can bring to the table something of substance, and do so in a way that equals or exceeds our own capacity. We want him to be self-sufficient, able to get paper legitimately, and able to unselfishly and assuredly contribute to our households. Emotionally, we’d like him to be present; to be loving, kind, and compassionate. Above all else, we want him to be saved, Holy Spirit filled, and able to love us as Christ loves the church.

    This should be our expectation because it is God’s standard for the husband. He tells them in Ephesians 5:25 (KJV) “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” This is wisdom! We can’t rise above that which we do not know. If a single Christian woman isn’t aware of this standard in God’s Word, then she might have no basis for expecting her husband to have such an abiding love for her. But God has made the standard clear, and because of this, we know that it’s true, achievable, and righteous.

    God’s Word prepares the single person for marriage, as well as every other triumph or obstacle in life. His wisdom prepares us for success in every area. Many mature Christians do not part the pages of their bibles until Sunday. They don’t know God’s nature, are limited in their knowledge of Christ, and haven’t invited the Holy Spirit to have full reign over their lives. The young woman determined to receive God’s best is taking care of this spiritual housekeeping. She’s committed to being transformed by the renewing of her mind. Through God’s Word she’s positioning herself to have a marriage blessed by the unity and peace of Christ. God will do this for her, just as He will for every woman committed to seek Him first.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “I Want to Have a Marriage – Not Just BE Married”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Soldiers Are Always Prepared for the Fight

    You can be the sweetest Christian ever, you’re still going to have enemies. People will not like you just because, and that’s the truth of it. Sometimes they’re the people you’d least expect. I read a story the other day about a Christian couple who have recently gotten engaged. They are happily planning their wedding while others in their intimate circle are presenting obstacles for them. People they would have never suspected are taking issue with certain details of their impending nuptials. Hurt feelings, resentment, and harsh opinions are rampant. This couple isn’t perfect. Their relationship already had its fair share of issues, as many relationships do, but despite everything, this couple is trusting God and overcoming whatever comes their way.

    When two Christians who truly love the Lord endeavor to come together, it’s no question that they will face some troubling waters. It takes true soldiers to stand amid all the incoming darts, and be confident in victory. You find this out very quickly when your plan is to unite together as one in the name of Jesus Christ.

    2 Timothy 2:4(ESV) tells us, “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.” This verse of scripture comes from the letter that Paul, the Apostle, wrote to his beloved brother in Christ, Timothy. He instructed him not to get caught up in the unnecessary pursuits that may come his way, but to only focus on pleasing God. This is incredible wisdom for any Christian, but it is particularly important for a couple. It is very easy to become so distracted by the details of planning a wedding, that you forget the reason for your union.

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 18:20(NLT), “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” There’s something extraordinarily pleasing to the Father when two people come together to worship and praise Him. Imagine how this is multiplied in marriage. It’s an oath of unity pledged between a man and woman who are committed to honor Christ.

    In the preceding verses, in Matthew 18:18-19, Jesus said, “Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.” The power of the Holy Spirit flows mightily through these scriptures, and it is not hard to see why the devil tries his best to stop two people from coming together. He doesn’t want to see them activated in the power of Christ.

    Whenever we decide to live for God, we are going to come under some form of attack by the enemy. It’s just a part of our journey. God rewards us for being able to stand strong in the midst of adversity. He tells us in 2Timothy 2:12 that if we endure, we will reign with Him. If we hold on and don’t give up or give in to the distractions that the enemy throws our way, Heavenly Father assures us that we will see the victory.

    It is refreshing to hear a couple share the truth of their conviction to stay the course. Every unmarried Christian who desires to wed someday should be mindful that coming together in the unity of marriage has it challenges. If we use our time wisely as single people and prepare spiritually in Christ, we will not be swayed or rocked by obstacles. Instead, we’ll be poised to stand back to back with our future spouse, armed with the Spirit’s sword, and ready to fight the good fight of faith in the name of Jesus Christ.■

    English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Soldiers Are Always Prepared for the Fight” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Married and Unfulfilled

    Stephanie was nineteen years old when she married her husband. Surprisingly, she doesn’t have the most positive attitude about it. In fact, she often says that it wasn’t the wisest move to make. She said that if she had to do it all over again, she doesn’t think she would ever have gotten married. Preparing to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary this summer, she reminisced about how she and her husband met. “I can remember it like it was yesterday. I even remember the kind of car we were in when we shared our first kiss. It was a yellow Datsun with a red strip down the side…I was 17.”

    Everett was her first love, and she said she fell for him hard. She had to wait until she graduated high school before they could even go out on a first date. Shortly after that, they went to the justice of the peace and got married. Two years later they had their first child.

    Everett had grown up very poor. His mother struggled as a single parent and they lived in low-income housing. The working world was foreign to the way of life his mother had always known. Their rent was subsidized, and the additional $30 requirement each month was the only demand their mother placed on her grown children still living at home. Smart, handsome, and having greater opportunity than his mother, as a young man, Everett was never driven beyond the point of having just enough to get by. It would later turn into a lack of ambition that shaped much of his adult years.

    At 17, Stephanie didn’t seem to mind his way of thinking. All she saw was his beautiful caramel-colored skin and hazel-green eyes. They were head-over-hills in love, but that love waned over time. They’ve struggled financially most of their marriage, and Stephanie feels robbed in many ways.

    Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” The more we know about God and trust His love, the more we will trust our own ability and strength through Him. Heavenly Father has made it possible through the Lord Jesus Christ for us to live the highest and most fulfilling life of which we’re capable, but we absolutely must be guided by Him to achieve it. This is one of the reasons it is so important to know the Will of God concerning your life, so that you will not depart from it. When we don’t know God’s Will for us, we make decisions that seem right, but in the end, they’re not the wisest choice.

    God gives us those red flags. Stephanie’s biological dad believed the match between her and Everett to be a poor one, but she ignored her father’s advice. She has been determined to remain faithful to the marriage, and it has not been without its rewards. There have been many happy times, but she has a nagging suspicion that her life was not all it could have been. Her resentment has turned into deep sadness. Although Stephanie is thankful for her family and husband, she feels bad about herself and ashamed of what she feels to be a lack of personal fulfillment and accomplishment. Everett is not to blame. He had never been taught to believe and trust God beyond his own limited capability. The good news of Jesus Christ is that even when we make poor choices and decisions, even when we’ve spent many years feeling unfulfilled, there is still great hope. God can and does restore us.

    We all make mistakes. We made them before we became saved, and we made them after. Some were doozies. And yes, quite a few of us did indeed marry a person whose faith was perhaps small to begin with and remained that way. This does not mean that our faith has to be small, nor does it mean our love for them has to diminish. 2Corinthians 12:9 tells us that God’s grace is exactly the remedy we need, because His power and strength works best in weakness.

    1Corinthians 7:14 also tells us that the unbelieving husband can be made holy because of his wife, and vice versa. Yes, things are a bit more challenging when a believing spouse has tremendous faith and wants to do so much more, and the other spouse does not. The solution is the Holy Spirit. He’s the equalizer. We can’t navigate successfully without his leadership. It’s not about seeing another person—spouse, friend, mother, father, sister, brother—as someone that can rescue us from anything. God is our sufficiency. He’s our Rescuer. We should forever and always place our trust in Him. When we do, He’ll turn things around, not just externally and in our relationships, but in our hearts. We’ll find fulfillment and happiness in Christ! He’ll transform our regrets, and give us the spiritual eyes to see his light in our spouses.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Married and Unfulfilled”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Is Mr. Right Saved?

    Someone said to me the other day, “You’re the only saved person I know!” When I heard this, I was instantly put on notice that my actions and conversations were on display; not only for this person, but for anyone that I come in contact with. They say that one represents many, and I have found this to be true. For every person that expresses an opinion to you or about you, there are others that feel the same way, although you might not personally hear it. So, when the person made this statement, I was immediately reminded that there are other unbelievers for whom my Christianity is front and center. It was not lost on me for one second that my influence is directly linked to the amount of God’s Word that I live. The person that made the statement to me cosigned this fact, and was moved to the point of letting me know that they have noticed the difference between me and others around them. Let this serve as a reminder that the person who is right for you may need to be captivated by your light.

    We are called by God to BE different and to MAKE a difference! He instructs us in Colossians 4:5-6(NLT), “Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.6 Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” You might not realize it, but there are tons of people that do not know about the Lord Jesus Christ. They were raised in families who have never worshipped God and don’t own a bible. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 9:37, over two thousand years ago, that the harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few. This is probably more true today than it was when he walked the earth.

    There are more unbelievers in this world than believers. As single Christian women desiring to be married, we can’t put our heads in the sand on this one. It is entirely possible that your future husband doesn’t currently have a tight relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. When you meet him, does this mean you kick him to the curb?

    God’s instruction to us is to live wisely among the unbelieving. Living wisely means that we don’t invest romantic feelings of affection and intimacy before we know what’s up. Sometimes we miss the Will of God for our lives because we jump prematurely. God tells us to make the most of EVERY opportunity. He’s telling us here how to store up treasures for the future we’ve dreamed about. Through us, God will do something wonderful in the lives of those who see us live Godly before them. Our witness will be noticed, even when we think no one is looking.

    Jesus Christ said us in Acts 1:8 (NLT), “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  God will save people through our witness. Their lives can be transformed by the example of our Godliness, and by our moral character and behavior. The absolute worst thing we can do is to impede God plans for an individual in any way. We don’t want to be a hindrance; we want to partner with the Lord’s efforts, and He’s told us exactly how to get this done. He told us in Colossians 4:6 to let our conversation be gracious, so that we respond to everyone in the right way.

    Not only do we have to watch what we say and how we say it, we’ve got to be conscious about what we do and how we think.  We can’t just talk the talk, we’ve got to walk the walk. Single sisters must remember that just as God says in Proverbs 31 that a good wife is a gift to the man, a good husband is a gift to the woman as well. A devoted spouse is often one of the rewards of cultivating our relationship with God and growing into our true identities as representatives of Christ.

    Psalm 84:11 assures us that “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” One of the greatest mistakes that single Christian sisters make is to shortchange the impact of living the Word. This decimates their faith towards marriage. The Word of God is alive!  Hebrews 4:12(NLT) tells us, “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” The desire of our hearts must be to please God more than anyone else. We have to keep His Word alive in our hearts, so that our faith makes a strong impression about who we are. We cannot skimp on this. It’s too important.

    Is Mr. Right saved? He may not be right now, but if your commitment is on point with Colossians 4:5-6,  this could change!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Is Mr. Right Saved?”,written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • God’s Iron-Clad Guarantee

    Many single Christian sisters would very much like to be married. Getting married has held the number one spot on their prayer lists for quite a while. Some of them are crying out to God with a sense of urgency because of their age. They’d like to start a family and fear that if another year goes by without meeting their future husbands, they’ll be further away from the dream in their hearts. And we have to keep it real, many of God’s devoted daughters have maintained a vow of abstinence. They don’t want to slip up and do something against the Will of the Father, but wonder if they have the strength to keep holding on. Other sisters have been waiting on the right man for so long, that they’re losing faith he even exists. All of these sisters are wondering how much longer they must wait.

    Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” It may feel as though something is keeping the blessing of a husband at bay, but it isn’t Heavenly Father. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we’re doing everything we possibly can to receive the blessing, but the reality is that we may not be on the right path. This can be difficult to hear, but God’s Word is true. It is the only truth we can rely on with a guarantee of one-million-multiplied-by-infinity percent. God’s Word guarantees that He does not fail, that His Word is truth, and that He will never forsake us.

    With this kind of iron-clad guarantee from Heavenly Father, we have no other choice but to conclude that there must be something in our application of faith principles that isn’t quite lining up. We must remember that Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word. God’s Word summons faith. It causes it to come on the scene and get some stuff done. Are you speaking the Word enough? Are you thinking the Word enough? Because it is our responsibility, as doers of the Word, to give faith a shonuff’ workout. Faith ought to be so tired of you summoning it to come by the Word of God, that it has no other choice but to perform according to Heavenly Father’s iron-clad promises.

    We also have to ask ourselves if we are activating our faith through effective prayers. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8 (NLT), “For your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” God knows exactly the caliber of man you need to love and support you on your spiritual journey in Christ. There isn’t any detail about your future husband and impending marriage that God doesn’t know. The specificity of which God knows your need is beyond exact, yet He still tells you to ask. He still requires that we pray in faith. This means that there must be something about the asking that is important to the receiving.

    Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” Heavenly Father has given us precious promises in His Word. He loves it when we have high expectations, but sometimes we take His promises and try to mold them to fit into the plans we’ve constructed. This is where things fall apart. God will perform that which He has promised. Not trusting this is the reason many sisters spend longer than they’d like in wait-mode. Instead of leaning on Him in full surrender, we’ve tried to execute God’s purpose by fitting it into our small boxes, and this will not work. He’s a Great Big Wonderful God. He’s got strategies, resources, avenues, and paths that you and I could never imagine. We’re in no position to dictate to God. He is calling us ever so close to Him, because we must establish intimacy in our relationship with Heavenly Father before anything else.

    It’s this intimacy with God that allows us to hear His instructions, and to begin to walk them out through little steps of obedience. Are you willing to surrender your plans to Heavenly Father, or do you want things your way? Are you interested in pulling back all the layers, and holding yourself accountable to the truth? Are you praying that your future husband is prepared for your shortcomings? All of us have them. We’ve got idiosyncrasies and weaknesses, and keeping it 100, some of them have repelled the love we desire for ourselves. We’ve had issues from previous relationships that we haven’t dealt with. We haven’t sought the Lord for healing, nor have we had the patience to allow Jesus Christ to teach us to overcome.

    Sisters, spiritual preparation for marriage is a must, and you and I can’t get it done on our own. We must be led by the indwelling Holy Spirit to explore the areas that need God’s healing and power. And we must be obedient and humble enough to let Him take the lead. God sanctioned marriage. He loves families, and unity is His brand. His promises are iron-clad, and our faith in Him must be as well. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Iron-Clad Guarantee”, written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • You’re Stronger Than You Think

    The pain of a broken heart is no joke. Whether it’s because of the death of a loved one or because the person you love has chosen to move forward in the journey of life without you, it’s a hurtful and difficult thing. Emotionally, situations can be further complicated by the fact that sometimes we’re not sure how to grieve—how to move through that thick cloud of sadness without adding bitterness or blame to it. The absence of what used to be can leave such a vacancy that it seems nothing will ever fill it again. Not only is the thought of getting through the next five minutes agonizing, making it through the entire day is too much to fathom. How do you cope when everything about your life feels painful?

    We have all known people that have dealt with loss, and we’ve consoled them the best way  we knew how, but nothing quite prepares you for dealing with grief and hurt yourself. You have all these emotions, yet you still have to keep going to work, doing your everyday chores, and moving on with your life. The thing is, it isn’t the life you thought would be yours. In the back of your mind, you had always envisioned the pieces of your puzzle coming together. You might not have known exactly HOW they’d come together, but you believed they would in a way that would leave you in reasonably good shape.

    The surprise factor of loss or abandonment makes the blow even more devastating. It makes us question ourselves and sometimes even makes us question our faith. Although some believe that Heavenly Father causes suffering and uses it to punish or make people humble, spiritual maturity begs us to think higher than this. Doing so will allow us to grow and heal from love and not continue to linger in pain and fear. All suffering has its root in some plot of the enemy. Pain didn’t exist until the devil brought it into the world by tricking Adam and Eve to sin. Romans 5:12(NLT) tells us, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.”

    Whatever one believes about suffering, it is in fact a part of life. But even though you might feel as though your mind is all over the place, and your heart is being pulled in a million different directions, pain doesn’t have to crush you.

    The pieces of your puzzle may be scattered all over the floor, but God wants you to know that it IS possible for them to come together. In Romans 8:28 (NKJV), He tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  It is possible for your life to get better. It is also possible to change into a stronger YOU. In Mark 10:27, Jesus Christ said all things are possible to the person that believes and trusts in God!

    Hurdle one is to forge even the tiniest opening in your mind and heart for hope to come in and visit a while. One of the ways to do this is by slowly but surely accepting the reality that your puzzle isn’t going to look the way you thought. When it comes to the tone and texture of your life, YOU’RE not going to look the way you thought either. It’s a new puzzle, and there are pieces that you can’t identify right now. That may be a little scary, but God very clearly tells us in 2Timothy 1:7 (NKJV), “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

    Heavenly Father has given you a spirit of power, love, and sound mind. This is a package of resilience and strength! Romans 11:29 declares that His gifts can never be withdrawn. Even in the midst of heartbreak, you’re stronger than you think. God is inside you, and through His Spirit, He’s working within your heart and mind. He’s helping you to put the pieces of the puzzle together, so that your faith in His love and power grows. Be encouraged in Him.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “You’re Stronger Than You Think”,written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Yardstick Lesson

    My daughter asked me the other day, “Mom, when people grow up, do they live by themselves?” I said, “Well, yes, sometimes they do. Some grow up, get married, and have families.” She replied, “No, not me. When I grow up, I want to stay at home with you.” As the old saying goes, “When a child is old enough to leave home, a loving mother makes the child want to stay, and a good father makes sure they don’t.” As a mother, of course it is endearing to hear your children express such sweet sentiments. You want them to feel loved and supported. You also want them to be prepared to handle the world on their own, and that’s why the yardstick lesson is such an important one.

    A yardstick is a measuring rod that is a yard long, and measures things by inches. Its use is so widespread that we frequently use the word ‘yardstick’ as an indicator or gauge for something. In common terms, we refer to it as a hypothetical way of comparing standards or benchmarks. For instance, a person might say that the frequency of a man’s contact and communication is a yardstick for measuring his interest in the relationship. Understanding the way this extremely simple measuring tool works can help us plot, plan, come close, or keep our distance.

    Some of the biggest mistakes in life are because of toxic associations. We let the wrong people get too close and sometimes push the right people away. God warns us in Proverbs 14:7(NLT), “Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.” This is a lesson that many of us learn the hard way. As adults, we sometimes wish we could turn back the hand of time or have a do-over when it comes to failing to discern. We wish that we would have recognized certain tendencies, or kept our distance to give ourselves time to see the real deal.

    We want our children to grow up with a hopeful view of the world, but today’s complexities challenge us to be incredibly smart and spiritually wise about how we do this. We have no other choice but to instill within them a very sharp discernment about things like the character, motive, and intentions of people they don’t know very well. We have to model this for them by keeping our own radar in check.

    Just as we want our children to learn to keep the wrong people at arm’s length, God wants us to be wise in this area as well. He’s given His Word to guide us. In 1Thessalonians 5:22 (NLT), He warns us, “Stay away from every kind of evil.” God wants us to stay away from evil because it has no place whatsoever with Him. David, the psalmist, wrote in Psalm 5:4 (NIV), “For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome.”  If evil people are not welcome with God, they ought not to be welcomed by us.

    Heavenly Father takes it a step further and tells us exactly who and what these evil folks are.  2Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT) says, “3 You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. 4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!”

    The yardstick lesson is a much needed one to learn from God’s Word, so that we’re careful about our associations, and won’t invest time and energy into someone that isn’t of the Lord. It’s seeking God’s guidance through the Holy Spirit about who we should and shouldn’t allow into our lives. We would do well to remember that there are going to be some people we must love from a distance. Even those who may seem perfectly harmless can bring with them a ridiculous amount of toxicity, and we need to be careful and spiritually wise.

    Until we get a green light from heaven with new folks, we need to bring out that trusty yardstick, and use it. Our children can learn by our example. If we model both how to be kind and keen, they’ll learn to always seek the counsel of the Lord and keep a healthy distance from anyone that truly doesn’t have their best interest at heart. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Yardstick Lesson”, written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • This Is No Walk in the Park

    What do you do when you find yourself in a place in life that you never expected? Ephesians 1:3 tells us that God has blessed us with all spiritual blessings, so He’s given us everything we need to be equipped for anything the enemy throws our way. Still, life has a way of delivering some hard punches. You can end up in places you never in a million years thought you’d be. We make mistakes we never thought we’d make. We take career paths and jobs that are a far cry from where we thought we’d be, and we end up in relationships and sometimes marry people that were not who we thought they were. This can land us in a really dark place. So much so, that some of us begin to question God.

    When the unexpected hits, sometimes it brings an avalanche of other challenges as well. Marriages fail, finances become exceedingly tight, you’re behind in the bills, and kids have needs you’re not making enough to meet. All of this coupled with dealing with the emotional pain of a broken or lonely heart can do a number on a sista’s soul. You might pray relentlessly for the Lord to take away the hurt, but that dark cloud seems to loom.

    Many women that came before us endured similar and often far worse challenges than what we face today. This doesn’t diminish or invalidate our pain, but it should remind us that trouble does indeed come, but it doesn’t last always. I can hear the words of my grandmother saying, “Honey, the Lord won’t put more on you than you can bear.” This statement was tremendously comforting to her and many seasoned spiritual veterans, but we must never overlook the reality that God’s intention is that we grow in the knowledge of His Word. Our fore-mothers were forces to be reckoned with, but they didn’t have the exciting revelation that we have today. We know more about Jesus Christ and the strength of his resurrection power than perhaps any other group of people in history. This sets the stage for our overwhelming victory, and we ought to be looking forward to it in faith.

    There are droves of Christians that believe God punishes people by placing tribulations and burdens on them, but 1John 1:5 very clearly tells us that God is light and has no darkness at all. God doesn’t place burdens on us; He invites us to lay our burdens upon Him, because He is more than able to handle them. Confronting this truth really does give us a little bit of a window into the root of the struggle. Life is no walk in the park, because the enemy is going to throw darts at us. And when our backs are against the wall, we will be forced to confront exactly what we believe about God. Do we believe Him to be a merciful God who rescues us continually, or will we believe the lie that the devil wants us to believe, and think that love equals punishment?

    What we believe about Heavenly Father’s love for us is extremely important and consequential. It is the springboard that lifts us higher in Him. If you believe that God wants you to continue to suffer, the span of your reach is cut off. It stifles not only the freeing and positive influence that you’ll have on others, but it places a choke-hold on your confidence and hopes. God doesn’t want that for any of His children. This is why He’s helping you to move to a place in your mind and heart where you don’t view the resolution of your problem as the foundation for a happy life. Faith in God’s power and love through Jesus Christ is your foundation, and the joy of the Lord is your strength!

    Whether it’s the man leaving, the relationship not working out, or money woes, God wants us strong and leaning on Him for our everything. Ephesians 6:10-12 The Message (MSG) tells us, “And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the devil and all his angels.”

    It’s true that life is sometimes no walk in the park, and with our backs against the wall and no one to depend on, it feels like we’re out there with nothing to hold us up. It can be such a panicky place, and a lot of us are worrying ourselves to poor health because we’re so filled with doubt. That panicky feeling is fear, and God has given us everything we need to flip it into faith. Heavenly Father is light. His love is light, and because there are no strings attached to His love, and it’s so effortless and free, it might feel as if there’s nothing holding us up, but He’s got us! He won’t let go, and we shouldn’t either. We must hold firm to our faith and trust that victory is ours through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “This Is No Walk in the Park”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!