Find A Christian Man

Tag: Preparation for Marriage Lessons

  • Dangling A Low Hanging Fruit

    Dangling A Low Hanging Fruit

    When a relationship is at a point where it’s held together by a thread, often the woman on the other end of it is holding on for dear life. The man, on the other hand, is dangling it before her. It’s a string without a meaningful commitment attached to it. At one time, he might have been all in. He thought he knew what he wanted, and at one point he probably thought it was her. She thought so too. In his heart, he knows he’s not ready to commit, but he doesn’t want this woman, whose given him so much of herself, to be with anyone else. So he’s blocking her growth, her potential, her future, and her true blessing, by keeping her dangling at the end of a string; and she’s a willing accomplice.

    Trying to tell a sister that is in a relationship like this to let go of it is almost pointless. The typical response will be something along the lines of “Your heart will do what it wants to do…no matter how much you try to tell it which direction to go in, it will only let go when it’s ready.” Whenever we allow the soul to govern our decisions this way, we diminish our privilege, desire, and opportunity to be led and guided by the Spirit.

    Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that we can be deceived by our own hearts, because our hearts can and do at times lead us astray. Our human hearts can cause us to veer off the path that God wants us to be on. This is why He tells us in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT), “5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” God knows our futures. He knows the person that is best for the path that He has purposed and laid before us.

    The reality is that many of us will hold on to less than the best, because we are fearful that we will not receive better. 1 John 4:18 (NLT) tells us, “18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” A broken heart feels very much like punishment because it hurts so badly, but we should not let the fear of this pain keep us from practicing the discipline of faith and trust in God through the Lord Jesus Christ. Our healing, blessing, and promotion will travel through the pipeline of our faith.

    2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) tells us, “7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-control. These are those that will elevate us out of the level we’re on and transport us to the next place of growth and blessings. Power, love, and self-control must be activated. They require us to move with, in, and through them according to our faith in God’s promise that they belong to us, and we can utilize them to go higher. When it comes to what is no longer working for us, we’re going to have to give up the less useful to make room for the more useful. Moving with faith through any discomfort we might experience in this process is the empowerment of self-control and self-love; this is what paves the way for newness.

    Fear and doubt are not a part of the Kingdom of God. These belong to the devil’s domain. It’s a trick of the enemy to dangle a low hanging fruit before us, because we don’t have reach and stretch to grab it. The Will of God will always require our flexibility, and faith will demand our allegiance to God’s truth. As Daughters of Zion, we must aim high so that the reach and strength of our grasp will match the wealth of the prize we seek to obtain. We must not be sidetracked from the greatness of what God has in store. Spiritual maturity calls on us to discipline ourselves to let go and press on. And when it comes to a man who is not ready to honor our worth and not willing to commit to it, this is exactly what we may have to do.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Dangling A Low Hanging Fruit”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • With God’s Blessing, Go Ahead and Marry

    With God’s Blessing, Go Ahead and Marry

    There might be areas in your life where you don’t feel it’s absolutely crucial for you to have the best, but I guarantee you that the life-time commitment of marriage isn’t one of them. This is the one place where we want God to pile on the good stuff. Our future spouse doesn’t have to be the smartest, finest, most handsome or talented; but when it comes to his commitment to the marriage and his loyalty to family, we want serious ‘A’ game!

    And rightly so. There is very little that compares to a spouse that you can count on to be faithful and put you above all the other people in his life. After all, this is the standard that Heavenly Father has set for the husband. He tells us in Ephesians 5:25, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” That’s some standard isn’t it?! Jesus Christ was so incredibly steadfast in his love for the body, that he gave up everything so that we could be reconciled to God. Because of his love, we have a barometer to measure how we should be loved by our spouses as well.

    Were it not for the life, ministry, and sacrifice of Christ; we couldn’t have an expectation about loyalty and faithfulness, but Jesus Christ passed every love test. He demonstrated God’s heart towards us, and now we can have every hope that we will not only live up to this standard, but that we will experience the fruit of it in the form of a loving and committed spouse.

    One of the blockers that keeps us from manifesting the luscious fruit that God has in store for us is the sin of fornication. This isn’t popular to say, but it’s the truth. A marriage must have a strong foundation, and you cannot build a strong foundation on a lie. That’s a sure way to have one big mess on your hands. When you mention the sin of fornication, one of the first things that people will say is that no one is perfect. This is true, but if we are of the household of faith, we are being perfected in Christ day by day.

    All of us sin and fall short of the glory of God. And when you get right down to it, this is really the definition of sin. It’s falling short of the glory of God, and thereby falling short of the glory of which He wants to envelop our lives. In other words, we diminish the good stuff that Heavenly Father wants to lavish on us by continuing to do the things that He has told us not to do.

    Heavenly Father tells us in 1Corinthians 6:18 (NLT), “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” God doesn’t want to make our pleasure any less. Through His Word He gives us the very information, knowledge, and wisdom that is going to position us for blessings and increase. This is always His heart. It’s up to us whether or not we take heed. If we don’t honor God by obeying His Word, we can’t lay up treasures for ourselves in heaven. Instead, we leave them exposed; where the enemy can get to them and destroy them. Many sisters have given their bodies away so many times, that they are depleting what’s left in the heavenly storehouse for them when it comes to finding the right man.

    You might have experienced times when you’ve met someone that you liked, but things didn’t click. The timing seemed off, or you didn’t feel a certain chemistry. Sometimes this isn’t a matter of chemistry, it’s the protection of the Holy Spirit, keeping us from hurting ourselves further through fornication. He’s helping us to preserve ourselves so that we don’t cancel out or continue to block our blessings.

    In 1Corinthians 7:9 (NLT), Paul said, “But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” The Apostle Paul had a call upon his life that was very different from the apostles we see living today. He was able to abstain from sexual sin, and counted it a privilege to devote himself totally to God’s work. This kind of commitment is rare. Most of us want to enjoy a physical relationship and the Apostle made it clear that if that is the preference, get married! It’s better to marry than to sin. Think about this. In the context of Paul’s level of commitment, it gives us a clue how detrimental sin is.

    People run from the subject of sexual sin, because it is so pervasive in our society. People want to do whatever they want, but make no mistake about it, there’s a cost. God doesn’t love us any less because we sin, and He doesn’t want us wallowing in self-condemnation. He wants the best for us. His goal is for us to build a foundation on which a committed marriage will rest.

    Love yourself as Christ loves the church. Set a standard for your temple. If there’s even a slight chance that fornication might be blocking your blessing of marriage, repent. Ask for Heavenly Father’s forgiveness, and make a commitment to Him to wait until you are presented with the man that is to be your husband. He will confirm it in your heart and in your circumstances that abstaining is exactly what He desires you to do. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “With God’s Blessing, Go Ahead and Marry”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism

    Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism

    How well do you deal with criticism? Not only is this an important question to answer, it points out a spiritual lesson that every single woman will need to learn. Proverbs 3:11(NLT) tells us, “My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.”  This verse lets us know in no uncertain terms that God disciplines and corrects. Very often He does it through others. For instance, someone might point out something within your personality they find offensive or off-putting. This someone just might be your future husband, and your response can either bring you closer or take you further away from the kind of marriage you desire.

    Everyone receives criticism; politicians, religious and spiritual leaders, celebrities, athletes, teachers, doctors, lawyers… you name it. We all receive criticism, but it can hit the hardest when it comes from the person you love, and a lot of us do not handle it well at all. Criticism can be constructive or destructive. In either case, it can be handled with a Godly finesse. One of the ways that a mature Christian person handles criticism of any kind is to first try and make the distinction as to whether it is true or false. If it’s false, we kick it to the curb and keep it moving. However, when something has been pointed out about us that may be hurtful but is accurate, it can lead to correction.

    In order for criticism to be helpful, you and I have to first hear it, and then be humble enough to consider whether it is true. In a heated situation, someone might say something out of spite, but it is important for us to weigh it when cooler heads prevail. Proverbs 18:12 (NLT) tells us, “Haughtiness goes before destruction: humility precedes honor”.  ‘Haughtiness’ is another word for ‘pride’. Pride can lead to missed opportunities, and it can also cause us to go in the wrong direction. Most folks that are arrogant or prideful can’t see correction or direction, they only see themselves, and God isn’t pleased with this kind of mind-and-heart-set.

    The love of God is activated in humility. It allows us to surrender to God, so that He can lovingly correct us and help us to recover what has been lost.

    Another thing that we have to examine is whether we are too consumed with ourselves. This happens frequently with singles. We learn to be self-reliant and sometimes lose a register of sensitivity when it comes to the needs of others. The problem is that it becomes extremely difficult to recognize your faults or weaknesses if you’re consumed with yourself. Some people talk about their problems relentlessly. They’re not necessarily egotistical, but they too focused on themselves to realize that it isn’t always about them. In order to grow, you must humble your heart enough to admit you have imperfections. Even if they seem harmless to you, they could be harming your preparedness to partner. To the extent that they stand in the way of your blessing, you will need to address them.

    Hebrews 12:11 (NLT) tells us, “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.”  Sometimes we forget that God holds our futures. He knows our pasts, and He sees our tomorrows. We might not recognize a situation that will cause us to lose out on an opportunity or a blessing, but God knows every nook and cranny of it. If we are prayerful and humble, God can prepare us to respond in a way that minimizes collateral damage. So, when we hear criticism from others, the best practice is to seek God about it, and let Him speak to you on the matter.

    Heavenly Father’s number one goal for us is to grow in Christ. When we allow the love of Christ to expand in our hearts, the Holy Spirit can lead us down the path to the blessings we desire. The truth is that we don’t always pay attention to his guiding hand. We miss important directions, and we skip details that would qualify our best effort. These kinds of misses can add up and cost us big time. We are blessed to have a loving Heavenly Father who is always rooting for us to be the best, and He is willing to teach and help us achieve it.

    Be sensitive to the fact that the sting of criticism can sometimes lead to God’s correction. It would be wonderful if the people who criticize us always did it in love, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes criticism will come from the person we love, and it is levied in a way that crushes us, but God created us to be resilient, humble, and flexible. We can and will bounce back, and hopefully we will learn that criticism is sometimes a way to get our attention. If we examine it with careful scrutiny, it might help us to grow in Christ and become more pliable to God’s Will. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Bounce Back from the Sting of Criticism”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Should He Trust You With His Heart?

    Should He Trust You With His Heart?

    A person once said that he was so hurt by a comment his ex-girlfriend made, that he never saw her in the same light again. Their relationship was decimated by her hurtful words; so much so that after she spoke them, her boyfriend was repelled by the thought of being in her company for any length of time. Proverbs 18:21(NLT) tells us “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” I realize that this may be a verse that most of us have heard numerous times, but if you’re reading this, you’re in the business of spiritually preparing for marriage. Preparation means that we need to look under the hood of scripture several times, so that the revelation of it really sinks into our brain cells.

    This is a simple and short verse, but it packs a powerful punch. Proverbs 18:21 tells us that our tongues can be weapons that not only hurt others, but they also can rob us of blessings as well. Sometimes we forget the impact of what we say and how easily offensive we can be with our words. In the case of the man I mentioned, he and his girlfriend were not having a heated argument, and she was not intentionally lashing out at him in anger. The truth of it is that she made two very distinct, harmful, and common mistakes.

    God tells us in Hebrews 10:17 that when we seek His forgiveness for our sins, He remembers them no more. Most of us are not this way. When someone does or says something to hurt our feelings, we might let it go to a certain extent, but just let a heated situation come to roost. The sting of that past hurt will spark again, and we’ll hit the replay button on that scenario with a quickness. Five years could have passed, but some of us will still bring up that scabbed over incident in an argument. The point is that people are not as quick to forget past offences as some of us think. We need to always keep this in mind, particularly when it comes to our future spouses or the important person in our lives.

    In our relationships with men, one of the common mistakes that we make is to forget that they are more sensitive than we think. Once a man lets you into his heart, he makes himself more vulnerable than perhaps he lets on. We can’t play the naïve card on this one; we’re too intuitive for that. We know when the man has made space for us in his heart, even if it’s a small one. As a Christian woman, we should be particularly sensitive to this, and it should make us more grounded in our responsibility to pay close attention to what we say.

    The other harmful mistake that sister-girl made, and again, all of us do this at some point with our words, is forgetting the lasting impression they make. Think back to a time when someone said something to you that hurt your feelings. You haven’t forgotten it. Even though you have probably forgiven the person, the sting of their words is still in the background of your consciousness, and you wouldn’t want to relive the situation. So again, words can cause irreparable damage in a relationship. As someone praying and preparing to meet the man that will ultimately be your husband, your well of sensitivity needs to be deepened now, and not later.

    As Christians, we should use our mouths to uplift and inspire those around us, and not let an untamed tongue get away from us. We can potentially make a statement to the important man in our life that can leave wounds that stick around with him for a very long time. They will often put up a valiant front on the outside, but this is just a shield.

    The last thing that you want is for the words you’ve spoken to injure your partner; it harms your relationship. So, a great preparation strategy is to pray about this sooner rather than later. God knows this very moment the man that will be your husband. Pray that Heavenly Father will prepare you by bringing any impulsive tendencies that you may have to your attention. Pray that He will help you to develop the well of sensitivity and compassion that is going to bless your future husband and inspire him to trust you with his heart. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Should He Trust You With His Heart?” written by FACM ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

  • Getting Back to Square One

    Getting Back to Square One

    In order to attract the type of love you deserve, you first must understand and know what love is. It is more than warm fuzzies on a cold winter’s night. It is more than someone holding you close and whispering sweet words in your ear. These are lovely things of course, and they help to develop intimacy in a relationship, but they cannot define what love is. Finding the person that God has ordained to be your marital partner is a good mission in life. It is a desire to expand and increase through love, so that you have greater room to bless and receive. For most of us, this requires that we pull back layers of stuff that we’ve accumulated through life, and get back to square one. In other words, we have to stop assigning our own interpretations to what it means to truly love someone, and get back to what God says about the matter.

    2Corinthians 4:7(NLT) tells us, “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.” The treasure of God’s love and power is inside of our earthen vessels. It’s inside of us, and it is given to us by God so that the love we give out to others will not be substandard or lacking in any way. It is excellent love, because it comes from the heart of God. Our responsibility then, is to learn to bring the excellency of God’s love from the inside of us and express it to others outwardly.

    This is where we get it twisted sometimes. We want to take credit and think that we can love a person enough all by ourselves. We cannot. Without learning to love God’s way, we simply cannot love someone a lifetime in a way that makes them better, while also making us better as well. Only the love of Jesus Christ has this kind of power.

    Some of us might feel a deep longing to be loved. We might also think that this need to be loved is the reason we should seek to be married. Really, our need to love others with a Christ-kind of love should be at the forefront of our desire for marriage. After accepting the love of Jesus Christ and making him the head of our lives, the love of Christ can begin to flow out of us. When it does, it has a major impact. If given in service and care for others, this love of God in Christ will literally attract the opportunity to meet our future spouses.

    Love begins with Christ. It begins when we accept his love into our hearts. As we learn of Jesus Christ, we will grow in love, and we will hear an awful lot about surrendering to God and being humble. For the single Christian person that is desiring to increase through the union of marriage, surrendering and humility are two spiritual lessons that cannot be missed. We need to surrender the idea that we know enough about love, we simply don’t; and we need to be humble so that God can teach us how to love His way.

    When it comes to us being able to love in the way that our future marriages will require, God knows exactly where the holes are. He knows the missing elements. Without certain spiritual lessons about the love of Christ, and without changing some habits and qualities that we have, our future marriages might collapse. They will collapse because we haven’t built a strong enough foundation on the example of Christ to hold a marriage up.

    Yes, it takes two people to make it work, but the beauty of the reality of Christ is that it only takes one person in a marriage to hold up the standard. The other person then has no other choice but to respond to it. This is how potent the love of God in Christ is. God’s love changes things. It motivates, creates, and makes life infinitely better. So we have to surrender this idea that we have already attained the level of a fully mature love emotionally and mentally. It needs to be perfected through Christ, and getting back to square one requires us to not only acknowledge this, but to pull back layers of things like jealousy, insecurities, arrogance, conceit, and other heavies; so that we can love fully.

    Jesus Christ told us something that is a huge piece of knowledge, and it will help us to put on more of his example of love. He said in Matthew 11:29 that he is humble. This is more beautiful than anything we can imagine. Jesus Christ is a King! He is more royal, powerful, and glorious than any king in the earth could ever hope to be, yet he tells us that he is humble. This should warm your heart to pieces.

    Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT) says, “3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too.” Humility will require a person to strip away all layers of pride and arrogance. It requires that a person be eager to demonstrate a denial of self for the benefit of others. It is wanting to see others blessed more than wanting it for ourselves. This is absolutely essential in a marriage, and very few marriages can make it without this kind of humility.

    Adjustments and transition can be challenging, but to partner they are necessary and unavoidable if we desire to be successful spouses. We do not have all the answers, but we know who does. As you seek the fulfillment of God’s promise, you must come earnestly before Him with a mind-and-heart-set to learn to walk in His love more fully. When you renew your commitment to be patient and allow Jesus to lead and teach you, he will prepare you to partner in marriage through his love. ■

    THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

     Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Getting Back to Square One” written for FACM ©2016.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Some Things You’ve Gotta Keep to Yourself!

    Some Things You’ve Gotta Keep to Yourself!

    Two weeks ago I was talking to a Sister-in-Christ who was very excited because she had recently met someone. She felt this man had all the ingredients for the making of a long term relationship. They met through mutual friends, and as it turned out, both share similar interests and desires for the future; including marriage. She’s never been married before, and the new guy is divorced with two children. Professionally, they’ve both done quite well for themselves. This sister-friend hasn’t had a significant relationship in a long time, and with plenty of family and friends between the both of them, she couldn’t wait to share her joy with everyone. She was so excited that she could hardly contain herself.

    In the beginning, everyone, including a few co-workers with whom she had shared the good news, all seemed excited for her and wished her well. With each date her relationship with the new beau got better and better, and she’d share a few details of the new milestones they were making, and how well they were getting along. She’s not the bragging type, but this is the happiest she has been in a long time, and it’s natural to want to share your happiness with those closest to you.

    After a while, she began to notice that whenever she mentioned plans for the weekend with her new friend, she didn’t receive the kind of comments she once had. Instead, distasteful or disapproving comments were made. She began to wish that she had never shared the details of her new relationship.

    We have to accept the fact that not everyone will be happy for us as we make the change from single woman to wife. For whatever reasons, there will be some folks who do not want us to take that walk down the aisle. As long as this sister’s desire for a husband was unsatisfied and she remained single, the people she had always counted on for friendship and advice were comfortable. Her single status made them feel a little superior, but as soon as her status changed, jealousy and pettiness slipped in.

    The devil is happy to see the single Christian woman without a husband, and will do everything that he can to keep her from marrying. The enemy hates the strength of a family unit, because of the destiny that God has placed on their bloodlines; he doesn’t want their legacy of believing off-spring to continue. So he tries to nullify the strength of a husband and wife team in the earth, and he does this through other people.

    God warns us in Proverbs 18:21 (NLT), “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” This is really powerful information to have. It is so important to allow God the room to help you cement a relationship through the Holy Spirit before you open it up to everyone. The less the enemy (and those he might work through) knows about your plans, the less able he is to intercept them through others. So to help you incubate the birth of something beautiful a bit longer, here are a few other helpful tips:

    Celebrate in Silence
    When you’re in a new relationship, you’re in sort of a ‘honeymoon’ state. Butterflies in the tummy are common for a good little while. Whenever you see the person, your stomach does flip-flops or you may feel blissfully fulfilled to have someone new in your life. It’s normal to want to share your excitement with others, but when your gut tells you, “Uh uh, you better keep your mouth closed about this one for a minute,” listen to it. Celebrate those milestones together quietly until Heavenly Father gives you the green light that the relationship is on good, solid ground.

    You’ll Know When the Time is Right
    Remain committed to establishing your new relationship without impetuous assumptions or expectations that create avoidable pressure. If you’re not sure about introducing him to family or friends, wait until the indwelling Holy Spirit gives you a decent comfort level about it. He, the Spirit, will give you the “all clear.” And let’s keep it real, just because the new fella sends you to butterfly-ville, it doesn’t mean that he’s the one. You will gain a lot of information about a person after spending some quality time together. So keeping the introductions to a minimum is important, at least until you know whether or not he’s a keeper. You’ll save yourself the embarrassment and time of having to explain the details.

    A while ago I met someone that liked me a lot. He seemed like a very nice person, and I was open to the possibility of dating, so I agreed to meet for dinner. He wasn’t someone that had caught my interest initially, but we saw each other regularly for a little while. It wasn’t long before I recognized that his personality was not a good mix with my own. It just wasn’t conducive to establishing a long-term relationship, so I made the decision not to waste anymore of his time, or mine. I was so thankful that I had not acted impetuously and made any assumptions about where the relationship might go. I introduced him to very few people, and it saved me the anguish of having to explain to most of my friends why I was no longer seeing the new guy. Again, it’s best to wait out or simplify the introductions. You’ll know when the time is right for more.

    Keeping Quiet is Good Stewardship
    Part of being a good steward of God’s blessings is knowing how and when to be discreet. God expects that we’ll know how to keep certain things quiet in order to protect and preserve the treasure that He has placed in our hands. Continue to pray and ask for guidance in your new relationship. Don’t allow your emotions to overwhelm your heart, because this often causes us to become overzealous and careless. It’s not about trying to be secretive. It’s about walking in wisdom. You’ll have plenty of time to publicly celebrate when you’re walking down that aisle.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Some Things You’ve Gotta Keep to Yourself!” written for FACM ©2016.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Climate Control

    Climate Control

    In the Old Testament, in 2 Samuel, Chapter 21, God tells us about an occurrence in King David’s life, and it will most definitely put a lot of things in perspective for the single person desiring to partner in marriage. 2 Samuel 21:1 (The Message) tells us, “There was a famine in David’s time. It went on year after year after year—three years. David went to God seeking the reason. God said, “This is because there is blood on Saul and his house, from the time he massacred the Gibeonites.” With God’s Word, as you grow in the knowledge of Christ, the meaning and wisdom of scriptures deepens as well. The verse that you read four years ago has a broader and more spiritual implication for your life than it did when you first read it. This will definitely be the case with 2 Samuel 21:1. In terms of a person’s efforts toward marriage, this verse is so deep that when fully digested, it can literally blow your mind.

    David was appointed and anointed for big things. He loved the Lord, and we know from the Word that he enjoyed God’s divine favor, and had no doubt grown accustomed to it. So in his mind, the first year of this famine might have merely been chalked up to an inconvenience that was not all that unusual. Experienced farmers know that there is going to be some occasions when crops don’t produce the harvest they expect. It happens, and this might have been the reason why the first year of the famine was easily dismissed.

    They no doubt reasoned that the second year would most definitely make up for the losses in the preceding one, but this did not happen. Still, it appears that David was not so alarmed. The third year rolled around, and the famine persisted. The third strike was a wake-up call for sure, so much so that David took it upon himself to seek God for the reason behind the famine.

    One of the things that we can see from this record is how easily it can be for things to slip by us without too much notice. David was God’s man, and during these years, it’s reasonably safe to assume that he mostly went about doing all the things he usually did to maintain his relationship with Heavenly Father. Most of us take for granted that things will always be as they once have been. This is a mistake on our part.

    The climate had changed, and David didn’t even notice. It was only when things had gotten to a drastic level that David realized that something was terribly wrong. The temperature had gotten hotter, and the heat was not letting up. This caused David to question God, because he knew that they had done something to cause His covering to be removed.

    Those of us living in modern times take the exact opposite approach. We very seldom become too bothered by a change in the climate, because we’ve grown accustomed to controlling the temperature ourselves. We turn up or down the thermostat. We heat up or cool down our surroundings with a flick of a button. In other words, we make ourselves comfortable, and as long as we are, we don’t think about anything else.

    It’s not until we find ourselves without this control that we begin to think about seeking God. When the loneliness becomes severe, or we get our hearts broken by someone we loved a lot, this is when we begin thinking about sharpening up our prayer lives. Then, when the hurt and loneliness persists without an apparent reason or resolution, we become offended. “Why isn’t God answering my prayers?” we ask.

    Sometimes, we don’t ask Heavenly Father the kind of questions that speak to an attitude of reverence and gratitude. Notice the steps of David. When the problem persisted, he understood that something deviated from the state of blessedness of which he was accustomed. He questioned God with an attitude of, “It cannot be God, so it must be something we either did and shouldn’t have, OR it is something that we should have done and didn’t do.”  

    David recognized a blessing blocker, and he was willing to be accountable for it. The single person seeking the blessing of marriage must do the same. In an effort to identify the blocker, we must first comb our own actions, examine our walks with God, and scrutinize the decisions we have made. When nothing seems obvious to us, we must then ask God. And the attitude with which we ask is uber important. It should be one of earnestly desiring to know where we have erred, so that we can repent and do better.

    As it turns out, Saul, the king before David, had dishonored a covenant, and slaughtered the Gibeonites. Their blood was on the hands of God’s people because they committed these murders, and this had given the devil legal ground to bind them with scarcity. What is the enemy using against you before the throne of God?

    Heavenly Father is a Righteous Judge, and we cannot expect Him to rule in our favor when the evidence speaks to our negligence, pride, jealousy, envy, a refusal to forgive, and any other thing that is not in line with the truth about our Christ identity.

    The climate of our prayers lives and reverence of Heavenly Father is controlled by us. When there’s a famine or drought in our circumstances, it is a sure bet that we need to change the thermostat to the temperature that Jesus Christ controls. It’s time to heat things up in our prayers lives and get brutally honest about the things we’re doing that give the enemy more ammunition against us. God’s heart is always to bless and protect, but we may be blocking our blessings. The right question is to ask Heavenly Father what the blocker is, and a need to truly repent in some area of our lives will almost always be the right answer. ■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

  • The Pruning Process

    The Pruning Process

    In John 15:1,2 (NLT), during the time that many biblical scholars believe was at the close of the last supper, Jesus Christ taught the disciples one of the most prolific lessons of living a spiritual life. He said, “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.” Before we can truly understand the meaning of this verse, we need to know a little bit about exactly what pruning entails. Pruning is a practice that involves removing selective parts of a plant or tree, such as its branches, buds, or roots. This is necessary to improve and maintain the overall health of the plant or tree. Pruning is very often targeted towards branches that are diseased, damaged, or non-productive, because these diseased, damaged, or non-productive branches are a hindrance to the entire tree. They keep the tree or plant from functioning in a way that yields continuous beauty, growth, and fruit.  There are a variety of different pruning techniques, but when it comes to the Master Gardener, our Heavenly Father, we don’t need to worry about the techniques; all we need to know is that we’re being pruned for a purpose.

    John 15:3-4 (NLT) says, “You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.” Jesus Christ told the disciples that they had already gone through the pruning process. They were purified by the message he had given them. In this verse, we can see that he had given them very simple instructions that was instrumental to maintaining their pruned and purified status. He said “Remain in me.” This command suggests to us that the disciples had a choice. They could remain in Christ by following his example and ministry, or they could do the exact opposite. In other words, whether or not the disciples remained in Christ was dependent on their own volitional choice.

    For the disciples, and for us as well, the benefit to remaining in Christ is beyond extraordinary! He said “Remain in me, and I’ll remain in you.” Do you see that?!!! You don’t get any better than this. Christ gave us a guarantee here. “There is no way that I’ll leave you alone.” he said. “There is no way that I’ll leave you to fend for yourself in this cold, dark world. No. I’m gonna be with you every step of the way; I’ll remain in you.” He tells us, but he then also warns us to be careful, because “A branch cannot produce fruit if it is cut-off from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.”

    Jesus Christ is talking directly to the believers in this passage. He’s letting us know that he’s the vine, and that you and I can do things that will cause us to be cut-off from him if we’re not careful. It’s quite simple really. A person should be able to look at a Christian’s life and see the disciplines and rewards of Christianity. We look to see in them the deposition, attitude, and behavior of someone who models Christ. As for our beloved Savior’s part, he will never cut himself off from us, but that isn’t the case with many of us who are born again and living today. Sometimes we indulge in unfruitfulness. We commit actions and make choices that do not match the magnitude of our spiritual reality in Christ. This is how we cut ourselves off from him.

    Fruit is designed to honor God. He doesn’t bother with plants that refuse to produce, but for those of us who intend to honor God, the pruning process is inescapable and unavoidable; thank the Lord for it.  John 15 tells us that God prunes the branches that DO bear fruit, so that they will produce even more. So producing fruit the first time was a great blessing, but being pruned to produce even more fruit is a pressed down, running over the top blessing. So we should do everything we can to cooperate with Heavenly Father as He prunes us for His glory, and for ours.

    Many Christians are as miserable as can be, and it’s because they’re walking around dragging diseased, damaged, or non-productive branches that God pruned a long time ago. These Christians are unfruitful because they won’t recognize God’s pruning expertise. Those branches should have fallen off by now, but we’ve hot glued ‘em, taped them, and tried some of everything else we can find to keep those dead branches attached to our lives.

    1Corinthians 6:18 says, “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” There are many Christians who, even after committing themselves to be their best for God, are still indulging sexual sin. We know better, but we’ve grown comfortable with business as usual. This is a dead branch.

    Anything that does not grow will die, and everything that wishes to sustain life will seek to grow. Simply put, in order for life to continue, growth is inevitable. A person who no longer wishes to thrive by reaching out to others with the love of God, and growing in His grace every day, is a person who has branches that need to be removed. God is not slack. He knows exactly what needs to be pruned in our lives. He knows exactly how to remove the dead branches, but we have to be a willing vessel in order for the pruning process to be complete. Again, for many of us Heavenly Father has pruned those dead branches, but He will not remove them from our lives if we refuse to let them go.

    The people…the situations…the consequences we encounter are not the dead branches. They are the mirrors that reflect and reveal the things that we have refused to let go. God is pruning you to receive all the wonderful blessings He has in store for you. So don’t ever work against the pruning process of our Heavenly Father. Realize that sinful attitudes and actions keep you from the blessing of marriage, but as soon as you release them, God can move you closer to the blessings you truly desire. ■

     

  • God Gave Him to Me – Part 2

    God Gave Him to Me – Part 2

    Our attitude must be like the psalmist in Psalms 56:4 (NLT) “I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?” God wants us to have the best, and we can’t be afraid to relinquish that which is no longer useful to our journeys in order to make room for something that is much better for us. He said in Psalms 91:14 “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name.”

    Fear cripples our efforts to move forward, because it displays a lack of trust in Heavenly Father. We have to understand how incredibly serious and meaningful this walk in Christ is. Every decision we make is spiritual and will impact our relationship with God in some way, so it behooves us to be doubly sure that we are doing those things that bring us closer to Him. He rescues those who love Him, and protects those who trust in Him, but trust we must.

    Patricia was a Christian woman, but even if it was on a subconscious level, she believed that her relationship with God had its place, and this place was separate from her love life. On one hand was the church Patricia, and on the other hand she was the ‘Patricia’ that she presented to the world. She had never reconciled the two. It was a duality that seemingly allowed her to keep each foot wedged in the door of both worlds—a life that indulged the pleasures of the flesh while at the same time looking the part of a spiritually together sister when necessary.

    Jesus Christ warned the disciples in Matthew 6:24(NLT) “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other.” The truth of what Jesus Christ is saying is that life does not tolerate duality. God’s laws are etched in stone. He does not change and neither does His immutable laws. We can try and bend them if we choose, but it will most assuredly be a futile exercise. You and I have to make choices that clearly signify that we choose God, over and over again, without hesitation—without reservation—without deviation.

    Heavenly Father created the universe to reward only those decisions and choices that are made with this kind of conviction, because this is the only way that proves that you truly have His love anchored in your heart. Only God knows if you, as a single Christian, have gotten to this place in your walk with Him, but if you haven’t, you should know that this is what He expects, and He will continue to help you get there. Jesus Christ went on to tell us in Matthew 6:33 to seek God first in all things. Patricia didn’t do that, but at any point she can turn things around. She can muster the courage to turn Jason loose and let him be free to walk his own path—one that doesn’t include her. She can begin to trust God explicitly by understanding that she truly does deserve a man who loves her the way that Christ loves the church, and that putting God first is the only way to guarantee that she can love this man that same way too.●

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.