Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritual Encouragement for Christian Women

  • A Good Example of a Wife

    A Good Example of a Wife

    “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.”
    Ecclesiastes 9:9 (ESV)

    Over the summer, a dear friend invited me to attend to a gathering for a couple who’d recently celebrated their first-year wedding anniversary. I didn’t know much about them, but I had heard that they were both very independent people before they got married. In these modern times, ‘independent people’ is sometimes code for individuals who refuse to be tied down to anyone’s definition of the roles spouses typically assume. They are both in their early thirties, and after the wedding, they decided to move into the husband’s apartment which happens to be a fifteen-minute drive from his parents. My friend said to me, “Lord have mercy, I heard he’s having a difficult time adjusting to her not being able to cook. He’s constantly at his mother’s house for dinner.” 

    The realization that his wife doesn’t possess the skills that a wife has historically embodied is causing some frustrations. She’s frustrated that he isn’t more understanding, and he’s disappointed that she’s not tidy and doesn’t clean or cook. At the gathering, it was evident that they’re having problems. So, now they have to face the reality of trying to build a strong foundation in their marriage when neither of them seems to be happy with the other.

    Proverbs 12:4(ESV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Many of us look at this verse, mull it over two seconds, and move on about our business. God’s Word isn’t up for personal interpretation. Although we’d like to think we can put our own spin on what it means to be the crown in our future husbands’ lives, God has set the standard. He tells us that a virtuous woman is one that is devoted, wise, resourceful, kind, and willing to do every good for the benefit and welfare of her family. She knows what it is to bear a cross and does so with the conviction of her faith in God.

    As women of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, some of us are still clinging to the “no one’s perfect” argument, as if that excuses us from the commitment to be perfected in and by Christ. We don’t get to tell God how we should love our spouses and families; He has told us. We are to love according to the standard of Christ, because that is the kind of love that God wants all His daughters to receive in return.

    In the Old Testament, men understood the tremendous benefit to their lives if they married a good woman. They understood that a wise choice would bless them richly, and a wrong choice would burden them for the rest of their lives. Take Abraham for instance. He received the promise of the Father to make him a man with descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky. Abraham understood that this blessing would pass from him to his Son, Isaac. He was adamant about the quality of woman his son would marry. Among other attributes, she had to be a woman who loved God, is of good character, and is humble and unselfish. Abraham left this in God’s hands and proceeded to send his servant on a mission to find the woman God had ordained.

    Many of us have been praying to God for a husband for quite some time. We expect that the Father will present us with someone that He has ordained. Therefore, we assume this man will be loyal, loving, and devoted to us. We want him to be God’s kind of special, yet we’re not thinking that we should be just as prepared to be a crown in his life as he will be to our lives. One man could have one idea of what a crown of a woman is to him, and another man could have a completely different need. Your responsibility to be prepared to be a crown for the one God has for YOU. If you don’t know how to be the woman your future spouse will treasure, make a shift in your prayer life and ask God to teach you. Then be humble enough to learn.

    Our future husbands will not be perfect, and neither are we, but we are being perfected in Christ, and God expects us to live as though we know this. As a woman desiring marriage, you must meet the example of a good wife according to God’s standards, not your own. Don’t let that slip by you. Our Heavenly Father tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for us. He knows the man that is ordained to be your husband. Seek God! Do what He tells you to do so that you’ll meet His standard and be as much of a treasure to your husband as he will be to you. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “A Good Example of a Wife”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • A Strong Companionship

    A Strong Companionship

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NLT)
    “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

    In significant relationships, companionship is extremely important. Companionship is a partnership among two people who share the same interest of connecting and developing a meaningful relationship. It’s a friendship so true that the bond is deep and not easily broken. On its own, this level of companionship in some instances can be so rewarding that many people would choose it over marriage. It’s having someone you can count on, someone that you know has your back. This is what many of us find convenient, because it comes without the stress of looking for something deeper and the disappointment of not finding it.

    Nowadays, people choose a nice companionship over marriage because they perceive it as an easier commitment to handle. For many, our modern precepts for companionship leave out marriage altogether. For some men, it becomes a rendition of friendship that includes some of the benefits of marriage but places no demands on exclusivity. So, now, when people say, “this is my companion”, people automatically assume marriage is out and that these two folks have opted to have each other’s back devoid of the kind of closeness a marriage builds. This kind of companionship is one of the ways that we’ve drummed up to avoid problems of heartache and loneliness. If this is our choice, we must be very careful not to displease God with it.

    We must be clear that when God set the boundaries of companionship, it was within the confines of marriage. Within their marital union, Adam and Eve were companions in every way. There can be no doubt in our minds that God ordained marriage to be the sleeve that surrounded the companionship between a man and woman. This is what God sanctioned, and to keep a companionship pleasing to Him, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 presents some very important guideposts we need to follow.

    Two people are better off than one

    If you can have someone who truly cares about your well-being and there is a mutual trust and admiration for one another, you have found a gem. An arm around your shoulders in tough times, holding hands, and good conversations that leave you feeling fulfilled and understood can go a long way. To protect this connection, you must keep it holy and uncompromised by physical intimacy.

    For they can help each other succeed

    As we mature in years, life can become more challenging. Having a companion by your side when you are tackling these challenges increases your confidence. This can lead to your success over obstacles. We don’t have all the answers, and a wise sounding board can make a huge difference in our decision making. This kind of trust and loyalty is built over time, and both the man and woman must be committed to help each other with no ulterior motives in mind.

    If one person falls, the other can reach out and help

    To fall down and have the strength and agility to get back up can be hard. Many of us lean on a trusted companion. Often, they are the ones that God sends to help us get back on our feet. They can be a shoulder to cry on and be a blessing to our healing process. We should never neglect to demonstrate our gratitude to God for placing this person in our lives. We should also demonstrate our gratitude to this man, but we should never take steps to make the companionship more than what God ordained it to be.

    A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer 

    A companion that has your back is truly a blessing from God. You will see the Father working through them to be a blessing to you many times. This is what He does, He works through people to help us, and we are often surprised at the level they will go to in order to be in our corner. When you find a man like this, don’t ruin it by stepping over the lines God has established. Protect this blessing with the spiritual maturity of self-control.

    Sinful behavior is left out of the equation

    Many companionships will not lead to marriage. They are with men that are sent to be a blessing to your life, and you to theirs. Never jump the gun. Don’t automatically assume this man is ordained to be your husband. Until God tells you that you’re in the company of your future spouse, keep your companions as the very best of friends. Keep those boundaries intact, understanding that the spiritual maturity you demonstrate in companionship is the discipline that equips you for what comes next.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “A Strong Companionship”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Don’t Ignore the Warnings

    Don’t Ignore the Warnings

    We’re living in a time that is like no other. We’re more intelligent than perhaps any other generation, and yet relationships seem to be much more complicated than they’ve ever been. Many single people are looking for compatible partners and complain that its like finding a needle in a haystack. Women say there aren’t any good men out there and men say the same about women. It’s a quandary that causes a tremendous amount of frustration and loneliness as a single person. We have to know that this isn’t what God had in mind when He presented Adam with Eve. He told them to cling to one another in the spirit of unity, and to be fruitful and multiply. He made it very simple, but sin turned it into something complicated. God never wanted this for a married couple, and if we want to partner successfully, we must heed His warnings and get back on track with the expectations of His Will.

    The wrong person

    Romans 8:29(NLT) says, “For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Our Heavenly Father is mindful of each of us. He knows everything there is to know about us, and He has a plan for our lives. Even before we were formed in our mother’s womb, God chose the exact time and place of our births. There’s nothing random about us, and He wants us to understand this.

    God always wants what is best for us, and God’s Will is always the best. His Will is that we become in every way like His first and only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We are to spend our lives learning to love, give, and share like Christ, but we have an enemy that will stop at nothing to prevent us from doing this. It’s one of the reasons we must not ignore the warnings in God’s Word about guarding our hearts. He tells us in Proverbs 4:23(NLT), “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Many of us haven’t approached our relationships with this level of diligence. We’ve allowed the wrong person into our hearts, and it has been the downfall of many.

    Be clear that the devil knows your type. Getting you to fall deeply in love with someone sent by him is a very old trick of his. We should by no means be afraid of this, but God has warned us to be exceedingly careful. He tells us in 1Peter 5:8(NLT), “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” Heavenly Father wouldn’t warn us about the forces of darkness if they were not a danger. We are empowered through Christ to resist these attempts against us. We must be fully committed to lean on Heavenly Father for wisdom and discernment regarding our significant relationships, and if you haven’t heard from the Lord that this person is sent from Him, hit pause.

    Don’t get lost in fairy tales

    It’s a fairy tale to expect things to work out well when we fail to acknowledge God’s Word and Will. Faith is required to have lasting and meaningful relationships, especially in our day and time, and faith comes from hearing God’s truth. We can’t have a fairy tale mentality about what it takes to cross paths with the person that God has ordained to walk with us through life, and we can’t be lost in a fairy tale about what it will take to maintain unity and peace with this person.

    We can’t build relationships on the world and its fantasies, and God has warned us not to attempt to do this. He tells us in Proverbs 4:25-27(NLT), “25 Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. 26 Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. 27 Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.” Romance can be a beautiful thing, but it was never intended to be a fairy tale. It’s given to us to treasure the person that God sends.

    1Corinthians 3:11(ESV) tells us, “For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.” God warns us to keep the ways of Christ and never try to build on a foundation that wasn’t laid by Christ. He tells us in Matthew 7:26-27(NLT), “26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” Heed God’s warnings that protect your relationship with Him and your standing in Christ. Let God take care of your quest for marriage, and you take care of worshipping Him in truth, preserving yourself in holiness, and applying His Word to every aspect of your life.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    “Don’t Ignore the Warnings”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • In the Blink of An Eye

    In the Blink of An Eye

    Ephesians 3:20(NLT)
    “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”

    Jesus Christ is the answer! We see this on plaques, signs, and t-shirts. We’ve heard it preached and taught for years, but the question boils down to whether we believe this amazing truth. Jesus Christ is the answer for every condition, circumstance, dilemma, and problem. He tells us in John 14:6 that he is the way, the truth, and the life. In this plain yet powerful verse, Jesus Christ lays out a fundamental strategy for successful living. He tells us that if we want to know how to live a life of abundance, peace, and joy, we must look to his example. He’s the way forward in anything we could possibly attempt to do. It’s a shame that when it comes to finding the right person to walk with us through life, we don’t cling to John 14:6 to lead us to the victory we desire.

    Some of us think to ourselves, “I’ve been asking God to bless me with a husband for a long while now, and I don’t think I’m any closer to the blessing.” We may imagine all kinds of reasons why we haven’t yet crossed paths with our future husbands. Many think that it is because God is not willing to bless them or that He’s withholding the blessing of marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth. God desires to see us blessed in marriage more than we desire it for ourselves. He wants us to be our most happy and blessed self, so we should never believe that God isn’t willing to bless us in this very important area of our lives.

    Recognize that God can move on our behalf in less time than a blink of an eye. He specializes in the impossible, and He goes exceedingly abundantly above anything we can ask or think. We must also realize that understanding God’s power requires us to understand the laws He has created to govern His power. God is a God of order. He will never violate His Word, and as His children, He expects us to recognize that we shouldn’t violate it either. God requires us to step into alignment and harmony with His Word, and to do this, we must be diligent to study His Word more so that we can go higher in Christ.

    Jesus Christ is the door to positioning ourselves with the work that God is doing in us and with the Will of our powerful Heavenly Father. The answer to any of our desires or dilemmas in life will always come back to our Lord and Savior. The quicker we realize this, the quicker we’ll help posture ourselves to please God and receive the desires of our hearts.

    If we ask God to bless us in a certain area, and we haven’t seen any movement whatsoever, then we have no other choice than to look at our individual commitment to increase in the Spirit and decrease in the flesh. Jesus Christ said in Luke 12:48(NLT), “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” We’re asking God to expand our lives by increasing our territory with the addition of another very important life. We’re telling Heavenly Father that we are ready to take on the responsibility of another’s heart, and that we will be diligent to help that person grow in Christ. How can we part our lips to say it when there’s no evidence it’s true? We must face the reality that we can’t help another to grow in Christ if we’re not willing to do it continually for ourselves.

    Deuteronomy 11:22(NLT), God told His people living during Old Testament times, “Be careful to obey all these commands I am giving you.  Show love to the Lord your God by walking in His ways and holding tightly to Him.” Our loving Heavenly Father makes His word so very plain and easy to understand. And through His Word, He expects us to understand that He is righteous, and He has made us righteous in Christ, so that we can meet His requirements. We must walk in His ways according to the example of Christ and become more firmly rooted in the Lord Jesus with each passing day. This is what makes the difference in our lives, and it’s what transforms our status from single to married in the blink of an eye.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “In the Blink of An Eye”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Looking Confident

    Looking Confident

    I glanced quickly at what I’d put on to go to my doctor’s appointment, and then a picture of my mother popped up on my phone. She was on her way to the doctor as well. This was serendipitous, and I saw it as an opportunity to learn a lesson. My mom hasn’t had an easy life, but you’d never know it by looking at her. Over 70, she’s still the most elegant and foxy lady I’ve ever known. I glanced again at what I quickly threw on that morning and said to myself, “I gotta represent God’s Kingdom better than this.” We’re busier than ever, and we all have days when we put ourselves on the back-burner. Other things take precedent, and sometimes we forget about ourselves. As single women, we may need to rethink this, because we might be sending the wrong message.

    Some of us put ourselves last because deep down, this is what we feel we deserve. We’ve done it for so long that it’s a habit; we don’t even realize we’re doing it. We must remember that God has commanded us to have the mind of Christ, and this includes thinking about ourselves in the same way that Christ does. John 3:16(NIV) says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” God demonstrated His overwhelming and unconditional love for us all by sending His Son to save us and give us the gift of eternal life. We are incredibly valuable to God, and therefore, we must be valuable to ourselves.

    There are many women that focus all their attention on the way they dress and look. They are consumed with designer clothes and shoes and spend more time shopping than they do on seeking God. This isn’t what God wants. He wants us to walk with the confidence of knowing we mean so much to Him. This confidence in His love is an inner reality that should be displayed outwardly. In other words, we should look and carry ourselves as though we understand that we’re the Lord’s treasure.

    In a nutshell, paying attention to the details of how we’re presenting ourselves means that we care about ourselves. And because we care about ourselves as best we can, others will have confidence that we will care about them with this same diligence and attentiveness. If you’re not doing it for yourself, why would someone assume you’ll do it for them. So, yes, it matters how we display the faith and grace of God, even down to the details of what we wear and how we wear it. It matters that we send the message that nothing can compare to the power of God, and through His Holy Spirit, we’re filled with His power.

    Every born-again believer represents Christ in the earth, and the brilliance and wonder of all that God has made us in Christ should exude from our pores continually. We should be ignited in the energy of his power, and folks ought to be able to see this about us. They should sense it through our faith, but many of us are feeling disappointed rather than resilient and strong. We’re not representing that we’re excited about God’s awesome power and His willingness to use it for our well-being. Instead, we’re sad because we have convinced ourselves that He has put us last.

    In Deuteronomy 28:13(NLT), God told His people living in Old Testament times, “If you listen to these commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom.” This was God’s promise to those who remained obedient to His Word. God is the One who makes us the head and not the tail. He’s the One who puts us on top, and this should fuel us with confidence and gratitude. Those living back in Old Testament times were servants, but believers living after the Pentecost are God’s children because we have His seed abiding within us. We are set apart for His purpose. We are His very own, and the thing that makes us so different is that we believe in His resurrection power, and we walk and live by His Holy Spirit!

    What God has done for us through Jesus Christ is something to celebrate every moment of every day. This joy of the Lord should permeate everything we set our hand to do. It should enter the room before our bodies do. 1John 2:15 tells us, “Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.” By the truth of this verse, we must be clear that being self-centered or obsessed with fashion and all the other worldly things isn’t pleasing to God, but our faith in Him very definitely pleases Him. He wants us to look as though we understand who He has made us in Christ. Our appearance should reflect this, so that our love and gratitude towards God is evident in how we present ourselves to others.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Looking Confident”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • From the Beginning

    From the Beginning

    Luke 12:48 (NLT)
    “But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly.  When someone has been given much, much will be required in return’ and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.”

    It’s no secret that there are many believers that have been praying to cross paths with their future spouses. Some are exasperated because they believe they’re no closer to finding this person than they were when they first prayed about it. Saved or not, many people blame God when things do not work out for them. They think that God is withholding the blessings they desire most, but nothing could be further from the truth. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t withhold blessings from His children. So, if marriage is something we desire, we’d do ourselves the greatest favor if we strike this notion from our minds, and free up that mental space for our faith to grow.

    Genesis 1:28 makes it clear that God has placed the authority and dominion for successful living into the hands of human beings. Adam and Eve lost this authority and dominion when they bowed to satan, but God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to restore it. Our Master Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that satan came to the earth to steal, kill, and destroy our lives. If we continue to perpetuate the disobedience against God as Adam and Eve did, we will remain under the devil’s realm of darkness. But if we accept the Lord Jesus Christ and all that God accomplished through him, we can have a life that is more than abundant.

    Most of us would be satisfied with just living abundantly, but Ephesians 3:20(NKJV) tells us, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” Our Heavenly Father deals in the “exceedingly abundantly”. This is the overflowing reality that He has made available to us in life. The problem is that most of us do not believe this, and we are not praying to our Heavenly Father to receive a revelation of all that Christ accomplished for us. Whether we know it or not, having a clear understanding about God’s nature, His incredible love for us, and our identity in Christ is our first responsibility to the faith. God requires this from us, and it should be our priority above any other thing.

    In Luke 12:48, Jesus Christ is teaching about responsibility and accountability. He is motivating believers to understand the significance of our actions, because our choices and decisions in life have molded and shaped the reality we are facing today. We want to blame God for our predicaments and say that He has not seen fit to bless us, but the truth is that we each are blessed immeasurably more than we can imagine. So, the question isn’t a matter of whether we are blessed, it’s a matter that is solely based on how we have used what God has given.

    He has blessed us in such a way that we can operate out of His overflow. 2Corinthians 9:8(NLT) tells us, “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” The purpose of God’s blessing is never to hoard it for ourselves, but to generously share it with others. All of this is ordained by Him for the uplifting of His Kingdom and glory, and the accountability for not doing this in the way that God requires must be acknowledged, accepted, and repented.

    God set up the foundation of this world through His brilliance, power, and love. From the very beginning, He abundantly poured into our lives, and He commands us to live a life of giving and loving others through His love. This is our responsibility, and it will never be altered. We cannot ignore this aspect of God’s plan.

    Accountability and responsibility to God demands us to look at how we honor God’s goodness and kindness. We must look at how we’ve obeyed His Word and whether we’ve yielded our entire lives to Him. In truth, many of us have yielded our lives to the man, and by giving our bodies to men outside the boundaries of marriage, we have proven our willingness to choose the man over God.

    We must show our humility to honor God’s requirement. He is not withholding a loving spouse from anyone. He has empowered us to reign in life through the example of Jesus Christ. He’s given us the power to make choices and decisions that will magnetize us to His blessings, but these blessings are contained in Jesus Christ. This means that the degree to which we live abundantly is in direct proportion to the degree to which we live God’s Word and live according to the example of Jesus Christ.

    From the beginning, God gave us free-will choice. From the beginning, He expressed His overwhelming love for us, and from the beginning, He empowered us to have success in our lives. He has made it very plain to us in Luke 12:48 that “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return’ and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” God has given us liberty in Christ, and He’s given us a purpose within His divine plan. Focus your every effort on laying up treasures that can be stored in heaven. Pray for greater revelation regarding your call and be more committed to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. When the Father sees our commitment to honor Him in this way, He will be pleased, and we will witness the exceedingly abundantly in every aspect of our lives. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “From the Beginning”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There

    Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There

    Jesus Christ has shown us that love requires sacrifice. He left his Father’s throne of immeasurable glory and splendor to come to earth. He came on a mission from God to save humankind. Our King was born in a manger, and this demonstrates his incredible humility. At any moment during his time on earth, he could have summoned a legion of angels at his side. He said in Matthew 26:53(NIV), “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” 12 legions is 72,000 angels. They would have been by his side in less time than a blink of an eye, but he didn’t summon them. He knew that sacrificing his life was his mission and endured the cross because of his overwhelming love for every person. Jesus Christ revealed the perfect and pure love of God, who sacrificed His one and only begotten Son for us all.

    Jesus Christ has shown us the way to live through God’s love. His example is the one we must follow because he’s given us the standard of love that pleases God. It’s God’s standard of love, and it causes us to live according to God’s purpose. As women of faith, sometimes we underestimate God’s allegiance to His standards, and we have a mindset of accepting less than what God wants to give us. This is especially true in our desire for a real and lasting significant relationship.

    God commands in Ephesians 5:25(NLT), “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This is God’s standard for the way a man should love his wife. This level of devotion sets the kind of loyalty and respect that all men should have for all women. It also sets the bar for the expectation of any woman praying to be a wife. As a woman, you can’t build this kind of capacity in a man. He should have it when you meet him.

    I have a friend that was very sick with the flu. She sounded as bad as she was feeling. It was apparent she was having a rough time with it, and I was surprised to hear that she was handling things on her own. She rekindled a relationship with a male friend that she dated a while ago. Things were going well for the last few months, but her bout with the flu brought out something that was apparent to everyone but her. When I asked, she told me that her boyfriend knew how ill she was, but he didn’t come by, not even once. She said to me, “He did offer to bring me some soup, but I didn’t want to be a burden, so I told him not to bother.”

    There’s a fundamental truth that every woman must know; if you accept it, that is all you will get. Some of us expect that our love will make a man gain a greater capacity to love overnight. It simply isn’t true. Only the love of God can transform a person, and to love God is to do what He says. 1John 2:5(NLT) tells us, “But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him.” As women of faith, this must be the foundation of all that we do.

    God expects us to expand in Christ with each passing day. This means that we are loving others greater through him. In other words, our capacity to love and walk with power increases as we grow in Christ. This is God’s standard, and it is one in which we will never have to make excuses for a man that isn’t loving us the way he should. If we make a place in our hearts for a man that isn’t giving us the love we deserve—the love we are capable and willing to give him, then we’re throwing out the welcome mat for heartache and pain. When it comes to real love, don’t accept a little dab here and a little dab there.  Christ made a way for us to live through his love, and this is the way we should choose.

    Fully knowing and appreciating the sacrifice of Christ gives us the lens by which we can love and be loved. Loving and living through Jesus Christ will give us the wisdom to know that a man may not have a fancy job title or big bank account; what matters is that he has a big heart and sees loving you as one of the greatest blessings of his life. God says you deserve this. You should believe it, and never accept less. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Romance Cannot Replace the Truth

    Romance Cannot Replace the Truth

    Walking almost a mile in the snow, Mel’s feet were frozen stiff, and she thought to herself more than once, “I can’t feel my toes anymore!” She scolded herself for wearing her cute boots instead of the ones Michael had recommended for snowy weather. He was trekking almost twenty feet ahead of her, but Mel was too tired and cold to be angry that Michael had left her behind. He, on the other hand, was still fuming and giving her a serious silent treatment. The airport was small, and there wasn’t much in the way of businesses nearby, that’s why Michael had stressed the need to double-check their reservations. Not a fan of cold weather, Mel wasn’t gung ho about the trip in the first place, but she honestly thought she had made the reservations. As it turned out, she didn’t, and they were stranded at the airport on the busiest day of the year.

    Michael’s favorite cousin was getting married in a small town in upstate New York, and because he refused to wait any longer, they ended up walking to the nearest car rental office. The entire way, Michael didn’t say a word to her, not even when they finally got a rental and made it to the hotel. He warmed up and spoke two or three words to her once they were settled in a bit, but all Mel could think about was that long, cold mile. Michael didn’t turn his head once to see if she was okay, and it broke her heart.

    They’d been together a little over six months. Things were progressing beautifully, and Mel had begun to imagine what being ‘Mrs. Melody Bryant’ would be like. Michael is a firefighter. He’s very attractive, and up until their trip together, he had totally swept Mel off her feet. They met after his move from Maryland to Atlanta, and they both threw out the welcome mat and made space for each other to comfortably fit into their individual lives. They wanted to be open to each other because they wanted to be together. Michael had met Mel’s mother, stepfather, and two sisters, and the family was ecstatic that they were a couple.

    Their faces were all Mel thought about as she contemplated how to handle the incredible hurt and disappointment she was now feeling. On so many occasions, Michael’s kindness had left her speechless, but he wasn’t who she thought he was, and nothing would ever be the same. She left before his cousin’s wedding, and for the next few weeks, she did everything she could to disconnect from Michael.

    Jesus Christ teaches us in John 10:10(ESV), “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Jesus Christ wants us to know that we have an enemy, and he wants to steal and destroy our blessings, and he wants to kill and destroy us. This may sound ominous and scary to some, but regardless of how it sounds, it is the truth. We must be spiritually prepared to stand back to back with our partner, both man and woman must be fully equipped with the spiritual armor God provides. It’s not a game, it’s serious business. We have a spiritual enemy, and human weapons will not cut it when it comes to battling evil.

    We have such difficulty in relationships because when we get into them, many of us fail to build them on a foundation of God’s strength and power. We do not place Jesus Christ in his rightful position as the head of all our unions, and this is a big mistake. Ephesians 1:22(NLT) says, “God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church.” There is no equal in all eternity to the power and authority that God has given His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We desperately need this power in our relationships. And to be clear, we need this power to recognize the person God sends.

    The disappointment and pain we experience when a relationship is derailed can send us into emotional shock. We don’t know how to handle it because our faith in God isn’t where it needs to be. Someone has done something to undermine our confidence and greatly diminish our clarity. We no longer have what we thought we did, and this can be emotionally overwhelming.

    Many women have been in Mel’s position and handled the situation quite differently. Some of them might have made excuses for Michael’s behavior and said, “It’s been a long day, and he’s just tired and upset. He’ll get over it.” Others would have given Michael a piece of their minds. They would have met his attitude with an even saucier one. With Mel, there was something deeper going on. Her biological father was an alcoholic whose angry tirades made their lives horrible when she was a child. She remembered the look on his face when he was about to blow, and Michael’s anger gave her a glimpse of that.

    After weeks of him trying to connect with her, Mel finally agreed to meet Michael. It was on a Saturday afternoon, and she arrived at the coffee shop intentionally early, so she’d have an opportunity to settle herself before he arrived. Mel was more nervous and emotional than she could remember, and the flipflopping in her belly had been non-stop for the last two days. Michael, the sweetest man she thought she had ever known had revealed a mean streak. It was biting and vengeful, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was only the tip of an iceberg. She dreaded the thought of discovering that he had only been pretending over the last several months and that allowing him in her life had been a big mistake.

    Significant relationships have a tremendous impact on our lives. The wrong person can cause more damage than we can imagine, and they can be used to undermine our relationship with God. Causing a wedge between us and our faith in God is the enemy’s aim, and if we allow an opening, he will weaponize the people we love and use them against us. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to not allow this opening for enemy attack. We can be preemptive by letting the Spirit guide us according to God’s Will. Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” As women, we must understand with crystal clarity that romance cannot replace the truth. With any significant relationship, we must pray continually for wisdom and good judgement, and when the Spirit reveals the truth, we must have the courage to accept it.

    Sometimes, we need to be alone with God and ourselves only, and we have to do this for a while in order to come to a place of clarity, and it’s a kind of clarity that only the Holy Spirit can give. This is the gift Mel gave to herself. It was one of the most challenging things she had ever done, because she wanted Michael in her life, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to let him go.

    He walked into the coffee shop, and the sound of his greeting was calm and warm, and she thought she’d melt, but she refused to betray herself in that moment. Mel was prayed up, and her inner pleas were for the Lord to strengthen her and give her the right words to say. He did. After an hour or so of easing in, they talked about that night, when she left him before his cousin’s wedding. Until that moment, she had not realized how deeply it hurt him. They had both punished each other, and only the Lord Jesus Christ could help them heal and grow in His love.

    Significant relationships that can potentially lead to marriage are filled with bliss, but they can also reveal characteristics in the other person that are immature, toxic, and very challenging to deal with. Can we successfully navigate through these? Absolutely, but not without Jesus Christ. God has a plan for our marital partnership, and He will send the right person. The very best scenario is to pray and ask the Lord to grow you up in Christ before you meet him, so that you can be spiritually prepared to faith your way through any obstacles.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Romance Cannot Replace the Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Our Need for Companionship

    Our Need for Companionship

    One of my co-workers is a born-again believer, and he’s 37, single, attractive, and financially secure. I was being a bit brazen one day and asked him if he ever wanted to get married. He answered, “Yes, when I find the right one.” I thought to myself, “Isn’t that what most single men say?” I have no doubt that he was being sincere, but I must admit that this response and attitude of many single men still baffles me. What’s the criteria they’re holding for “the right one”?  Is it based on the standards that God has set in His Word, or is it based on a physical attraction that immediately sparks a response of his flesh? Is he looking for both those things or is he blinded by a refusal to be humble and allow God to direct this area of his life?

    He may not have given much thought to how he defines “the right one”, but as a woman wanting to partner, you must be keenly interested in why he thinks he hasn’t met her. We shouldn’t be under any delusions about their pickiness here. Men need companionship as much as women. They are innately aware that they need the nurturing of women to live the more than abundantly life that Jesus Christ made available. If it were available for them to have this level of living without women, Adam would never have needed Eve, but the reality is that Adam did need Eve. And men do need women. This is the Will of God.

    Genesis 2:20(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” God’s brilliance and the perfection of provision dictated that Adam needed a helper, and part of Adam’s responsibility would be to care for her as well. Nothing about the way God set this up has changed. In Genesis 2:24(NLT), God said “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Whether we accept it or not, this is the Will of God concerning the marriage of a man and woman, and His blessing hinges on the condition that His Word is honored and respected.

    Of course, every man and woman have the free-will choice to decide the person that they will marry, but if we ask God, He will send the person that HE has ordained to be just right for us. However, the reality is that most of us don’t ask Him, and we don’t extend an invitation for Him to be Lord over this aspect of our lives. God will not interfere with our relationship decisions without an invitation from us. He will never overstep our free-will choice. We get to decide if we want and will follow His guidance. History has proven how devastating the results can be in marriage when a couple doesn’t invite God into their unions. They fail to submit to His leadership through the Lord Jesus Christ, and the results of this is catastrophic.

    An excuse to be selfish
    The issue is not about a man finding the right one. The issue is whether he will recognize the woman God sends. For him to recognize her, his eyes must be open. For his eyes to be open, he should be seeking the Lord about it. Jesus Christ said in Luke 11:9-10(NLT), “9 And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” Our Heavenly Father gives good and perfect gifts, and He knows exactly how to provide for us. It is necessary that we humble ourselves in honor of His perfection, brilliance, and power, and seek Him for ALL things.

    Many physically mature men have never been married. They are financially stable, intelligent, affable, and have great relationships. They are perfectly able to share their lives, generosity, loyalty, and love with a woman in the Spirit of Christ, but they refuse to do this. An expanding bank balance, a satisfactory level of success, a comfortable lifestyle, and a fear that someone might jeopardize these things makes many men lock- on to selfishness with a death grip.

    God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to His Will and to the lives of others. Sadly, many men do not view this as their responsibility to Christ. Instead of being committed to obedience and faith in God, they choose selfishness as a device to appease their insecurities about money and preserve their way of life. They use their singleness to shield themselves from the commitment of truly sharing their lives with a woman, and they often see their single status as a license to try on several women like new pairs of shoes.

    This is a form of exploitation, and it is in no way Godly. As women of faith, we need to see it coming a mile away. We should not yield to it, neither should we attempt to do it ourselves. There’s a right way to find the right fit, and it is to seek God and make sure our actions are guided by Him.

    An excuse to play around
    1Corinthians 7:32-35(NLT) gives us wisdom for understanding God’s Will. It says, “32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

    The wisdom of this passage teaches us God’s standard for marital conduct. It teaches us that marriage is a gift. It’s God’s way of providing companionship but it is also a way of keeping us from sexual immorality, because that stuff just wrecks the lives of people. It takes them further away from God rather than closer to Him and His blessings. Our Heavenly Father made it clear in 1Corinthians 7:32-35 that the only acceptable reason a man would remain single is that God has ordained him for the purpose of being totally sold out to ministry. Women are just as much God’s treasures as men, and neither a man nor a woman should ever use their single status as an excuse to play around with God’s treasures.

    Jesus Christ commanded us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the only acceptable way to love God. Well, how do we accomplish it? 1John 5:3(NLT) declares, “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” Our need and desire for companionship must never be above our allegiance to honor God and do what He says.

    The right one for all of us is forever and always Jesus Christ. He’s the one to give us marital unity and longevity, and our commitment to honor him allows us to walk in his love, strength, and power. We have made relationships way more complicated than God ever intended. We can’t navigate this rocky terrain without His help. We desperately need His guidance, so we should never try to take things into our own hands by leaning on our own understanding. That’s not a winning strategy. 1John 5:4 tells us that every person in life will defeat the plots and tricks of evil, and we will do this, not by selfishness or a need to control, but by the victory that is achieved through our faith in God. So, if a man is truly waiting to find the right one, he should be seeking God’s guidance. Most importantly, he should never allow his single status to be a detriment to any woman’s life or to his own with relationship with God and standing in Christ.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Our Need for Companionship”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Daily Maintenance Is Required

    Daily Maintenance Is Required

    Psalm 37:4(NKJV)
    “Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This verse signals us to delight in our Lord but many believers don’t take him up on it. We don’t because too many of us get disappointed and let down if     we think God takes too long to bless us with what we believe we deserve.” 

    In 1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT), the Apostle Paul told the believers in Thessalonica, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” Paul understood firsthand about the challenges that were facing those who followed Christ, and the commandment to them is to believers living today as well. Although most of us don’t face death on a daily basis as the believers did in biblical days, we still face some really tough challenges in our day and time. One of them is being single in what seems like a sea of men that have no interest in marriage whatsoever.

    Philippians 2:3 tells us not to do anything out of rivalry or conceit, instead we are to be humble and put the benefit of others over ourselves. How many of us have done this or have the attitude of humility and selflessness that this verse conveys? Most of us know a single person that has a heart to be married, and they’ve been praying to God for the opportunity for a while. Although they may not express it to us, there are scars from enduring one relationship disappointment after the other. The loneliness of being single longer than you’d like can press up against your faith at times. It can be a struggle to remain encouraged, especially when it feels as though you’re not making progress, and no one seems to understand your pain.

    As believers, we have a responsibility to encourage others. Whether we are single or married, those that are spiritually mature should encourage those that are endeavoring to increase their believing towards marriage. Again, sometimes being single is not an easy road. Hearing positive and uplifting encouragement to fight the good fight of faith is a gift to single individuals struggling to stay the course.

    If you’re a single person, you might be thinking, “I need encouragement myself.” The answer to this is to give what you desire to receive. This kind of giving and unselfish attitude is what God expects from each of us. It’s how we show His love to others, and we should make it a priority to do this daily.

    There are different kinds of love, and romantic or eros love is what many singles crave. This kind of love comes from physical attraction. It’s the sensual intimacy that a husband and wife share and initially it is expressed through romance. Although this kind of love is meaningful to a marriage, it is not enough to sustain and maintain a marital union. We must be extremely clear about this. God’s love is agape love, and His love is the one on which all other kinds of love must hinge.

    God’s divine love is the kind of love that He has for all of us, and He requires us to have it for Him. We have been empowered by Jesus Christ to love God the way He wants. Romans 5:5(NLT) says, “And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” The Holy Spirit abides within us and he fills our hearts with God’s love. We are full to running over, and the question for us is whether we’re pouring out to others what God has poured into us.

    There is no doubt that if we are saved and Holy Spirit filled through Jesus Christ, we have God’s love in us. So, we have the ability and capacity to give it away, and this is what God expects. Many of us want to jump right into eros love, because it tickles the flesh, but that is not the way of a spiritually mature believer, and we must be spiritually mature to partner in marriage. As men and women that aspire to be all that God has called us to be, we should develop a daily maintenance plan for our souls. We should continually and freely extend to others what has so freely been extended to us through Jesus Christ.

    If we keep holding on to the love of God within, and we neglect to share it abundantly, we are missing opportunities to lay up treasures. We’re not being the kind of blessing that we can and should be. Let’s not do this. Real love is agape love. It’s God’s love that He has placed within His kids through His Holy Spirit. We need to learn more about the nature of God’s love, so that we continuously put it on in our hearts and minds.

    All of us should want a spouse that loves us through Christ, because this is the only love that has the glue to hold a marriage together. So, lets make spiritual maturity a consistent prayer request, and let’s be diligent to unselfishly and lovingly encourage singles to stay prayerful and never lose faith in God. We need this ourselves, and we are equipped and will be blessed for extending it to others. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Daily Maintenance Is Required”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.