Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritual Encouragement for Christian Women

  • The Yardstick Lesson

    My daughter asked me the other day, “Mom, when people grow up, do they live by themselves?” I said, “Well, yes, sometimes they do. Some grow up, get married, and have families.” She replied, “No, not me. When I grow up, I want to stay at home with you.” As the old saying goes, “When a child is old enough to leave home, a loving mother makes the child want to stay, and a good father makes sure they don’t.” As a mother, of course it is endearing to hear your children express such sweet sentiments. You want them to feel loved and supported. You also want them to be prepared to handle the world on their own, and that’s why the yardstick lesson is such an important one.

    A yardstick is a measuring rod that is a yard long, and measures things by inches. Its use is so widespread that we frequently use the word ‘yardstick’ as an indicator or gauge for something. In common terms, we refer to it as a hypothetical way of comparing standards or benchmarks. For instance, a person might say that the frequency of a man’s contact and communication is a yardstick for measuring his interest in the relationship. Understanding the way this extremely simple measuring tool works can help us plot, plan, come close, or keep our distance.

    Some of the biggest mistakes in life are because of toxic associations. We let the wrong people get too close and sometimes push the right people away. God warns us in Proverbs 14:7(NLT), “Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.” This is a lesson that many of us learn the hard way. As adults, we sometimes wish we could turn back the hand of time or have a do-over when it comes to failing to discern. We wish that we would have recognized certain tendencies, or kept our distance to give ourselves time to see the real deal.

    We want our children to grow up with a hopeful view of the world, but today’s complexities challenge us to be incredibly smart and spiritually wise about how we do this. We have no other choice but to instill within them a very sharp discernment about things like the character, motive, and intentions of people they don’t know very well. We have to model this for them by keeping our own radar in check.

    Just as we want our children to learn to keep the wrong people at arm’s length, God wants us to be wise in this area as well. He’s given His Word to guide us. In 1Thessalonians 5:22 (NLT), He warns us, “Stay away from every kind of evil.” God wants us to stay away from evil because it has no place whatsoever with Him. David, the psalmist, wrote in Psalm 5:4 (NIV), “For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome.”  If evil people are not welcome with God, they ought not to be welcomed by us.

    Heavenly Father takes it a step further and tells us exactly who and what these evil folks are.  2Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT) says, “3 You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. 4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!”

    The yardstick lesson is a much needed one to learn from God’s Word, so that we’re careful about our associations, and won’t invest time and energy into someone that isn’t of the Lord. It’s seeking God’s guidance through the Holy Spirit about who we should and shouldn’t allow into our lives. We would do well to remember that there are going to be some people we must love from a distance. Even those who may seem perfectly harmless can bring with them a ridiculous amount of toxicity, and we need to be careful and spiritually wise.

    Until we get a green light from heaven with new folks, we need to bring out that trusty yardstick, and use it. Our children can learn by our example. If we model both how to be kind and keen, they’ll learn to always seek the counsel of the Lord and keep a healthy distance from anyone that truly doesn’t have their best interest at heart. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Yardstick Lesson”, written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • This Is No Walk in the Park

    What do you do when you find yourself in a place in life that you never expected? Ephesians 1:3 tells us that God has blessed us with all spiritual blessings, so He’s given us everything we need to be equipped for anything the enemy throws our way. Still, life has a way of delivering some hard punches. You can end up in places you never in a million years thought you’d be. We make mistakes we never thought we’d make. We take career paths and jobs that are a far cry from where we thought we’d be, and we end up in relationships and sometimes marry people that were not who we thought they were. This can land us in a really dark place. So much so, that some of us begin to question God.

    When the unexpected hits, sometimes it brings an avalanche of other challenges as well. Marriages fail, finances become exceedingly tight, you’re behind in the bills, and kids have needs you’re not making enough to meet. All of this coupled with dealing with the emotional pain of a broken or lonely heart can do a number on a sista’s soul. You might pray relentlessly for the Lord to take away the hurt, but that dark cloud seems to loom.

    Many women that came before us endured similar and often far worse challenges than what we face today. This doesn’t diminish or invalidate our pain, but it should remind us that trouble does indeed come, but it doesn’t last always. I can hear the words of my grandmother saying, “Honey, the Lord won’t put more on you than you can bear.” This statement was tremendously comforting to her and many seasoned spiritual veterans, but we must never overlook the reality that God’s intention is that we grow in the knowledge of His Word. Our fore-mothers were forces to be reckoned with, but they didn’t have the exciting revelation that we have today. We know more about Jesus Christ and the strength of his resurrection power than perhaps any other group of people in history. This sets the stage for our overwhelming victory, and we ought to be looking forward to it in faith.

    There are droves of Christians that believe God punishes people by placing tribulations and burdens on them, but 1John 1:5 very clearly tells us that God is light and has no darkness at all. God doesn’t place burdens on us; He invites us to lay our burdens upon Him, because He is more than able to handle them. Confronting this truth really does give us a little bit of a window into the root of the struggle. Life is no walk in the park, because the enemy is going to throw darts at us. And when our backs are against the wall, we will be forced to confront exactly what we believe about God. Do we believe Him to be a merciful God who rescues us continually, or will we believe the lie that the devil wants us to believe, and think that love equals punishment?

    What we believe about Heavenly Father’s love for us is extremely important and consequential. It is the springboard that lifts us higher in Him. If you believe that God wants you to continue to suffer, the span of your reach is cut off. It stifles not only the freeing and positive influence that you’ll have on others, but it places a choke-hold on your confidence and hopes. God doesn’t want that for any of His children. This is why He’s helping you to move to a place in your mind and heart where you don’t view the resolution of your problem as the foundation for a happy life. Faith in God’s power and love through Jesus Christ is your foundation, and the joy of the Lord is your strength!

    Whether it’s the man leaving, the relationship not working out, or money woes, God wants us strong and leaning on Him for our everything. Ephesians 6:10-12 The Message (MSG) tells us, “And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the devil and all his angels.”

    It’s true that life is sometimes no walk in the park, and with our backs against the wall and no one to depend on, it feels like we’re out there with nothing to hold us up. It can be such a panicky place, and a lot of us are worrying ourselves to poor health because we’re so filled with doubt. That panicky feeling is fear, and God has given us everything we need to flip it into faith. Heavenly Father is light. His love is light, and because there are no strings attached to His love, and it’s so effortless and free, it might feel as if there’s nothing holding us up, but He’s got us! He won’t let go, and we shouldn’t either. We must hold firm to our faith and trust that victory is ours through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “This Is No Walk in the Park”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Return to Sender

    If you were to receive a letter or package in the mail that doesn’t belong to you, normally, the postal service will allow you to write “return to sender” on it; they will return it to the original sender at no cost. This is an antidote for life. When it comes to receiving anything that isn’t authorized by God Almighty Himself, it needs to go back to where it came from. Whether it’s a job, a new relationship, or even financial increases, you want to make sure that anything and everything new in your life has your name on it, that it’s been stamped by the Lord Jesus Christ and is completely orchestrated by Heaven above.

    You may think that’s going a bit over-board, but really when it comes to our lives, we can’t afford to make costly mistakes, because they consume a lot of time. They deplete our stamina and cause us to lose momentum on our Christian journeys. We can regain stamina and momentum, but time is lost forever; so, we need to be careful about the decisions and choices we make. Regardless of what it may be, you want God’s approval above all else.

    My father would say to my sisters and me, “When you lay your heads down on your pillow at night, you are the ones that have to be happy and at peace with whatever choices and decisions you’ve made today.” This piece of wisdom has stuck in the recesses of my mind for many, many years, because it cuts straight to the chase of the monumental effect that one simple choice can have on one’s life.

    Some years ago, a close acquaintance was in the real estate business and owned quite a number of properties. He was very well known as a savvy and successful business man. I told him I was in the process of looking to purchase my first home, and he was very eager to assist.  He even went so far as to set up a meeting for me with one of his top associates to discuss different options for first-time home buyers. Once it came down to signing some paper work, my spirit whispered that this was not the right move, and that working with my friend was not the right direction.

    I thought, “Why am I second guessing this?” It seemed logical. My friend had been in this real-estate game for many years. He knows all the ins and outs of home-buying, and he had seemingly popped back in my sphere at a very opportune moment. At first glance, it looked as if my friend was sent by God for the purpose of helping me navigate this big purchase, but internally, the Holy Spirit was not confirming the package. While God certainly can move and work through anyone to bless His people, our first responsibility as His children is to be attentive to His Spirit, and the indwelling Holy Spirit was nudging me to examine the package I had received more closely. It didn’t have my name on it.

    The enemy is insidious and will use even well-meaning individuals to counterfeit a blessing and trick us into accepting something that was never meant for us. In John 8:32(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” He’s telling us about the confirmation of the truth; it makes us free. There’s a feeling of peace associated with this freedom, and whenever we don’t have it, the Spirit will call attention to the absence of it. He, the indwelling Holy Spirit, was pulling me in another direction, and I chose to follow Him. I trusted God to steer me, and of course, He backed my faith every step of the way. This is how many single women have to be when it comes to new relationships with someone that is seemingly delivered into their lives. We can’t assume this person is sent from God. We must be patient and wait for the Lord’s confirmation.

    God tells us through the Apostle Peter in 1Peter 5:8(NLT), “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” As God’s people, our posture should always be one of alertness, paying attention to what is happening internally, in our spirit-man, and also paying attention to what is going on externally, examining anything that is sent our way.

    Psalm 37:5 (NLT) tells us, “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.” Life is filled with complex choices and challenges, and this is why we must seek God first in all that we do, and commit everything to Him. As His children, we only want to invest in those things that He has put His stamp of approval on. If He hasn’t, the Holy Spirit will let us know, and we can then mark it “return to sender” at no cost. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “Return to Sender!”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • After the Fall

    God tells us in 1Corinthians 4:20 (NLT), “For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.” Heavenly Father has to remind us of a few things in His Word, because sometimes we allow life to get in the way. We forget that He’s given us access to an extreme level of power through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. No matter what you’re facing or what you’re going through, you will always have the opportunity to become stronger through Christ. He is the true example of strength. Hebrews 4:15(NIV) tells us, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” He faced it all, and in God’s Word, He tells us how we can rise again, no matter how many times we fall.

    Sometimes, we fall really far off the path of righteousness because we’ve made a wrong choice or bad decision. We do something that nowhere resembles the kind of person we know we should be. As a Christian, it’s natural to feel really sorry about what we’ve done. We should seek God’s forgiveness in the most earnest way that we can. 1John 1:19(NIV) tells us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Only God can purify us. We can’t do this ourselves. One of the greatest lessons that our mistakes teach us is that we need to depend and trust in God’s power, because He’s working in us.

    We can become very discouraged when it looks like we just can’t overcome a certain sin. Maybe we’re struggling with sadness or feelings of unworthiness from a failed relationship, or we’re dealing with shame from losing a job or home. Some of us are not where we thought we’d be in life, and it seems that people don’t respect us because of it. In these times, God wants us to remember that Jesus Christ has done for us what no other could do. Because of his sacrifice and resurrection, we have victory no matter what our situation looks like. We are going through, and if we keep the faith, we will always come out on the other side better than we ever could have imagined.

    Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in Romans 6:6-8(NIV), “6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—7 because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. 8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.” It isn’t the beating ourselves up and feeling bad that gets us in line. The thing that causes us to become stronger spiritually is growing in our knowledge of Christ and believing in what he accomplished for us on the cross.

    Through Jesus Christ we have the power to overcome any obstacle or sin, because God’s Word declares that we are no longer slaves to sin. He says that we are to be humble like little children; and like little children, sometimes we fall and get scraped up or have a bruise here and there; we may even cry about it.  But this hurt or pain we feel from falling is never meant to last. It helps to remind us of the things that don’t work, and most importantly, it reminds us that we have a loving Heavenly Father that cares about us deeply.

    The heart of God is that nothing stands between us and our relationship with Him, that is why He’s dealt with the sin issue through Jesus Christ. When we fall down through some of the mistakes, missteps, and mishaps that happen in life, we have a choice. We can either wallow in self-doubt or self-condemnation, or we can enjoy what Christ has accomplished for us on the cross, and be thankful to God for His enduring mercy and grace.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “After the Fall”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Foolish Decisions that Look Smart

    “Common sense is not so common.” I chuckle to myself every time I hear this wise old saying. There is so much truth in those words. Common sense is the good sound judgment that is presumed most people will possess. Each of us come to the table with our own uniqueness, and our brains might process and catalog information differently, but there are some things that one would hope is common to most human beings. This commonality when it comes to practical matters allows us to communicate and understand each other. It can at times be the framework to begin new relationships. The truth is that some of us just plain ol’ don’t have common sense in certain areas, and sometimes we need some extra help.

    Proverbs 9:8-9 (NLT) is one of those mega verses that will help us to have success in any area of our lives. It says, “8 So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser.” God tells us very plainly not to worry about the haters. They’re out there. They don’t want to see us shine, will try and squash our success, and they hate what we stand for. Jesus Christ told us in John 15:18-19(NLT), “18 If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” So, it should come as no surprise when folks that don’t even know our hearts will automatically dislike or hate us, and will do so for no other reason than we represent Christ.

    Heavenly Father also draws a distinction and contrast in Proverbs 9:8-9 that we can’t afford to ignore. He tells us that wise folks have a certain characteristic in common. If you correct them, they will love you. Wise people have an innate desire to become wiser. They understand that iron sharpens iron, and will not reject wisdom, but know that it is to their full advantage to accept it.

    I’m reminded of someone that hasn’t spoken to her mother in over three years. She’s planning a fall wedding and having difficulty with the thought of not having her mother be a part of it. I asked, “Why not just pick up the phone and call her?” She said that she just couldn’t, because her mother still hasn’t apologized for choosing her sister’s side of an argument. If she can hold a grudge for this long against the woman that birthed her, imagine what she will do with her future husband.

    The wisdom of common sense is essential, but we so often miss it. This woman’s future husband, who is fully aware of the issue, hasn’t yet seen his fiancée’s resentment against her mother for the red flag it clearly is. Holding on to a grudge will block the flow of God’s love. It will destroy the goodness that love in our relationships can bring as well.

    My grandmother use to say, “you can’t teach a fool nothing.” I thought it was a harsh statement, but as I’ve grown, I understand that being foolish is often preventable and avoidable. We yield to foolish whims sometimes because we will not humble ourselves to the wisdom of God’s Word. Many of us want instant love as quickly as we can have it. We want quick food, we want to get to our destinations quick, and we want resolutions on the double. When this is our attitude, we’re vulnerable to foolish decisions that look smart.

    The truth is that many of us are watering down our faith because we’d rather have milk than meat. We’d rather leap than take the time to really examine what’s under the hood. If you’re looking to partner well, you must avoid this stance at all cost. Proverbs 14:12(NLT) warns, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” Children of God should always want to do things God’s way. We think we have it all figured out, but God sees the entire scope of our lives, and His Word will never lead us astray. We truly need to build a relationship with Heavenly Father that is anchored in humility and trust. When it is, common sense will lead us to lean on Him and wait on His instruction, because His wisdom will always help us avoid making foolish decisions.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Foolish Decisions that Look Smart”,written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Down on One Knee

    When a man decides to go down on one knee and ask a woman to be his wife, it means he’s seen something within her that has touched his heart profoundly. He’s determined that his search is over, because he’s discovered in her what could not be found in others. This is a choice that he’s made in every way; mentally, emotionally, physically, and most importantly spiritually. It’s a choice that signals heaven above, and everything beneath it, that he intends to spiritually join so tightly with a woman that the two become one. This is what many single women are hoping and praying will soon happen to them.

    Going down on one knee is a significant gesture. We see a form of this in the Word of God. Regarding the judgment seat of Christ, Romans 14:11(NLT) tells us, “As surely as I live,’ says the LORD, ‘every knee will bend to me, and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.’” Philippians 2:9-11(NLT) says, “9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Every knee will bow to the Lord Jesus Christ. This is truth! It will happen, of this we can be sure.

    From this truth, we have an inkling of what is necessary to demonstrate extreme reverence, honor, and respect. Anything glorious deserves glory. Anything respectful deserves respect. To bow before Jesus Christ is not only an incredible privilege, it is also acknowledgement of our understanding of who he is. In His Word, God teaches us that actions convey what is in our hearts, and when those actions match the truth of God’s love and majesty, the jewels of commitment and unity are revealed. And so it is with a man’s understanding of the blessing of a wife. His reverence to God, to the institution of marriage, and his respect for the commitment he is aiming to make; all of this is evident when he goes down on one knee.

    Love’s barometer
    Ephesians 5:25(KJV) is God’s requirement to husbands. It says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” This verse is a ‘LOVE’ barometer for every woman. It gives us the exact point of reference needed to measure our own expectations, and to also measure a man’s capacity to love. If the Lord has commanded a man to love his wife in the same way that Christ loves the church, then the man must be capable of doing so. It would be a huge affront and infraction to believe that a man lacks the capacity to love this way, for God has mandated that he must, and therefore can.

    As a woman believing to marry the person God has ordained to walk with you through life, you must have a firm grasp of God’s standard of how you should be respected as a Daughter of Zion. You must also make sure you are respecting yourself as God’s precious one, and that your mind and heart are full of hope and faith. We don’t have to strive and struggle. Heavenly Father has got this! He will see to it that we are loved in a way that pleases Him IF we are committed to seek His Will in all we do. If for one second, your beliefs run counter to this, you are hurting yourself. Our wrong beliefs are a buffer between us and the blessings we seek. Wrong believing is doubt, and doubt does not come from the Kingdom of God, but from the kingdom of satan. There should be no place for doubt in the heart of a believing Daughter of Zion, because doubt repels love and doesn’t attract it. Do yourself a favor, trust in what God has for you!

    Sow on good ground
    1 John 3:18 (NLT) teaches us, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” It’s been said time and time again that getting married and saying “I Do” is the easy part; it’s staying together that snags people up. Sometimes people marry before they’ve given themselves time to find out if it’s a divine presentation. Their chief motivation is physical rather than spiritual. To sow is to invest, and when we invest our hearts into a person, and do so in a way that doesn’t please God, we’ve not invested wisely. We’ve not shown the truth by our actions, because we’re not acting in God’s love, but perhaps we’re acting out of lust or desperation; both are beneath our privilege as God’s beloveds. A better way is to get tight with God so that we’re confident our motives are pure and based on the love of Christ. Best practice is to inspect before we invest. We need to hear from God as to whether we’re sowing on good ground.

    Worth the wait
    When a man bows on one knee to ask for his queen’s hand in marriage, it symbolizes his willingness to submit all that he has in service, love, and support of her. He’s willing to decrease so that they can increase together as they stand before God in Christ. It’s an awesome aspect of God’s plan of unity. As women of God, we should never try to force a man to honor us in this way. The grace of God we exhibit will compel him to do so. This is an honor that is always going to be worth the wait. 

    God has called us to be His Holy Daughters, to be women of great love, compassion, and care. The light of our hope will forever be in the promises of God. We should be confident that Heavenly Father never disappoints, but loves us unconditionally. His greatest delight is to see us happy and blessed. So, let your confidence in your future marriage and spouse be anchored in your faith in the goodness of God. Remain positive in thought and mind, because God is swelling the well of gratitude in your soul, so that you can know the depth of honor you’re receiving when your future husband goes down on one knee. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Down on One Knee”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Lesson #5, Never Look Back!

    In Genesis 19, we learn more about the biblical record of Abraham’s nephew, Lot. After the death of Lot’s father, he went to live with his uncle, and Abraham loved him tremendously. Lot became prosperous just like Abraham, and when the Lord commanded Abraham to move to Bethel, Lot tagged along; but their households were too big for the one area. It was necessary for them to split. Lot ended up settling near the city of Sodom, and at first glance it seemed like a nice place. It was well-watered and the land had fertile soil, which was very suitable to maintain his crops and livestock, but as this notorious record in Genesis 19 bears out, all was not as it seemed in Sodom and its nearby city, Gomorrah. One of the greatest and most wise lessons that we must learn, particularly as single Christian women, is that you can never judge a book by its cover. This is lesson number one.

    The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were filled with wickedness, so evil in fact that these cities had to be destroyed. When the Lord told Abraham this, he was distraught, because he was afraid of what would happen to Lot, his nephew, but our God will not abandon those with a righteous heart towards Him, and this is undoubtedly lesson number two.

    It cannot be ignored that with the vile wickedness of these two cities, there was only one good man living among the inhabitants, and it was Lot. Genesis 19:1 tells us that when the two angels sent by God came to the entrance of Sodom, Lot was sitting there and stood up to greet them. Then he welcomed them by bowing. Lesson number three, humility is always the dominant characteristic of a good man.

    These angels must have looked like men, but it isn’t too much of a stretch to assume that Lot may have discerned something angelic and divine about them. He offered to wash their feet, and extended generous hospitality. Genesis 19:4-5(NLT) says, “4 But before they retired for the night, all the men of Sodom, young and old, came from all over the city and surrounded the house. 5 They shouted to Lot, “Where are the men who came to spend the night with you? Bring them out to us so we can have sex with them!” Lot stepped outside and pleaded with the men of Sodom to stop their wicked intentions. He even offered his own virgin daughters in exchange for the protection of these men. This willingness on the part of Lot to make such an extreme sacrifice for these messengers of God reveals the true nature of Lot’s heart. Lesson number four, acts of kindness and sacrifice will set you up for epic blessings.

    The angels were surely more powerful than Lot could have imagined, but the kind intention to protect them was returned to him and his family. They told Lot, his wife, and his two daughters in Genesis 19:17(NLT), “Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! Escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away!” The Lord rained down fire and burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah and everything was utterly destroyed, even the vegetation. As they were escaping this terrible destruction, verse 26 tells us that Lot’s wife looked back as she was following behind, and turned into a pillar of salt. Lesson number five, never look back!

    When we look back and focus our attention on the past instead of leaving it behind, we may not turn into a pillar of salt, but like Lot’s wife, giving in to the temptation will invite the bitterness of sin to again put a hold on our lives. We don’t want this. There are many lessons that we can learn from this record in Genesis 19, but the tragic loss of time, momentum, and stamina by trying to erect a monument to our past—to who we used to be and what we used to do, this is paralyzing to the newness of all Christ has made available to us.

    In Ephesians 4:22, God tells us to put off our former way of life, and put on the newness that Christ offers, because this is the way we grow and become strong in the Lord. It’s how we stop giving the enemy opportunities to pull us down. It takes spiritual strength to live long and strong in this dark and evil world, and our responsibility and privilege is to reach towards Christ with every ounce of strength we have. We cannot give in to the temptation of doubt and unbelief as Lot’s wife did. She was closely related to righteousness, for Lot by all accounts truly was, but close is not enough. We have to walk this walk ourselves, and if we are truly sold out for Jesus Christ, we will never look back. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Lesson #5, Never Look Back!”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Be the Change You Want to See

    A distant relative has been having issues in her marriage for a long time. The situation is complicated, and would make it extremely challenging for any woman to stay. She’s gone through stages of tremendous anger about it, but surprisingly hasn’t ended the marriage although she’s threatened to do it many times. Every now and again, I check in with her to see how she’s doing. Recently, when I spoke to her about the situation, she said to me, “I haven’t made up my mind yet on whether I’m filing for divorce. I’ll see how I feel by the end of the week.”

    Marriage can be the most rewarding experience that life offers. It can also be the most hurtful experience in life. Someone going through a difficult marriage might say that if they had known things would turn out the way that they did, they would never have gotten married in the first place. As deliriously happy as they were on their wedding day, they regret ever taking that walk down the aisle. I’ve personally heard husbands refer to their exes in the most degrading terms, because they were treated so poorly by their wives during the marriage. Even years after their divorces, they’re still carrying the hurt.

    When our marriages don’t go quite the way we envisioned, it is easy to surmise that our bitterness is the fault of the person who wronged us. Some spouses even attempt to blame God that they ended up with so much heartache. The truth is that no person has the power to transform another individual. We become who we are by the choices we make, and just as we made the decision on our own to marry the person, we can also make the decision to heal and grow beyond the hurt we have endured.

    In the case of my relative, it almost feels as though she’s waiting for something to happen, and this will be the thing that almost makes the decision for her. There’s a saying, “be the change you want to see.” In spiritual terms, this means that we ought to recognize the extent to which we’ve been empowered by God to construct our own lives, and then begin to build our faith accordingly.

    In Mark 11:23(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.” Our Lord and Savior is very specific in this verse. He’s not speaking about his ability. He’s not referring to the ability of the Father or the Holy Spirit. He tells us specifically that WE, you and I, are empowered to speak to the mountain and obliterate it with the faith that backs our confession.

    In Romans 12:2 (NKJV), God tells us not to be conformed to this world. This means that we shouldn’t take on its customs, behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs of negativity. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We are to change the way that we think. Romans 8:16(NLT) declares, “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” God’s Spirit joins with our human-spirit, and affirms that we are spiritual children with a spiritual Father. We are spiritual beings made in the image of our God. He created the universe to respond to us SPIRIT-U-ALLY; it responds to what we do, think, and say.

    Change begins internally first. This is God’s order. So, if we are waiting for situations to change, we might be waiting a very long time if we are not taking it upon ourselves to be the change we want to see. If we will have faith and trust Heavenly Father, and if we will humble ourselves and draw near to Him, He will lead, guide, and direct us through the Spirit of Christ within. He will tell us exactly the change we need to make in ourselves. And as we begin to take the steps that He communicates, a new revelation of His love will be deposited in us. This is truly the missing piece that separates us from the marriage we desire, and once we discover it through Christ, we will be transformed into the spouse that God has destined us to be.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Be the Change You Want to See”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • She’s Rich, But Can’t Find A Man

    Celeste is a very independent and fierce woman. She’s built her career on being labeled ‘the first’. She was the first woman to hold the position she had in a large construction company; she was the first African American to be promoted to a senior level management position, and she is the first woman in her local area to move up the ladder from worker to co-owner of the company. I would venture to say that 95% of her counterparts are men. Most of her days are spent working around them, but at 43 years-old, she has never been married, and according to her, has never come close. Celeste is fiercely competitive, savvy, and financially set. Not only is she very successful, but she’s very down-to-earth and friendly. She wants to marry a Christian man and isn’t concerned that he might not be as successful as she is. This is why it is so baffling that she hasn’t crossed paths with her Mr. Right.

    A person in Celeste’s position has be very cautious about men that might only want to date her because of her wealth. This hasn’t been too much of an issue for her because she’s very unassuming. Were it not for the S63-coupe she sports, one would never know that she’s got serious bank. Again, she’s a sweet person, loves the Lord Jesus Christ, and you’d be amazed at how easy it is to strike up a conversation with her and feel like you’ve known her all your life. Still, in most ways, she’s no different than many singles these days. Despite all our efforts to do good, we slip into patterns and behaviors that are hard to break.

    In Matthew 7:3(NIV), Jesus Christ schools us on the kind of behavior we should have with one another. For those bent on being picky and criticizing others, he asked, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” It’s common sense to look at our own weaknesses and faults before we even think about calling out someone else’s, but often we don’t think about it this way. We adopt a set of behaviors and patterns, and do so subconsciously. The thought of changing or altering them a bit doesn’t cross our minds.

    If a stranger asked those who know Celeste well to describe her, her unselfish Christian nature would not be the first thing that came to their minds. It would be the fact that she curses like a sailor; not all the time, but enough that vulgar words strip the sweet aroma of Christ that Christians are supposed to leave with others. Her kind heart is completely overshadowed by her foul mouth.

    Ephesians 4:29(NLT) admonishes us, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” How we speak and how we make use of our words can pose a very real challenge to our efforts to marry. God’s standard in Ephesians 4:29 is clear, and it is for men and women alike, but it cannot be denied that as mothers and wives, the tone and manner of which we speak can be tremendously soothing and encouraging to our children and husbands. We cannot be ignorant of how impactful our words can be, both negatively and positively.

    Psalm 52:2(NIV) says, “You who practice deceit, your tongue plots destruction; it is like a sharpened razor.” This is not the kind of people God has called us to be. We’re not to use our tongues like razors and cut people with our words. God says that everything we say should be good and helpful. I can tell you from personal experience that the consequences of not paying attention to God’s standard are far reaching and severe. I said some pretty hurtful words to someone I care about, and it boomeranged, as all actions do. Whether it is negative or positive, if you put it out there, it’s going to come back to you, and will do so with an impact that is greater than your original action.

    Our words have staying power. Negative words create a vicious negative cycle that keeps propelling darkness into a person’s life. People listen to the words we speak. Our children and loved ones are influenced by them. As Christians, we should desire to speak words that uplift and motivate everyone around us to be better.

    Celeste is rich, and complains that she can’t find a good man. She doesn’t realize that arrogance isn’t necessarily about being flashy and audacious, and that pride and arrogance might be holding her back. It’s the thinking that allows wealth to mold a person into being inflexible and unwilling to change in the ways God desires them to. God is not punishing Celeste for having a foul mouth. She’s punishing herself because she refuses to release it. It’s the refusal and neglect to place God’s Will over her will that is causing her believing to fizzle and her faith to misfire.

    The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:14 (NLT), “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” He understood that we’re all works in progress. We haven’t made it yet, but we are required to keep pressing, understanding that there is a standard we’re required and qualified to meet. Yes, we all have things about us that are not perfect. We’re not going to address every negative habit, behavior, or attitude in our lifetimes, but to the extent that something is holding our blessings at bay and causing us to miss the opportunity to be strategically positioned; it deserves our attention. We have to change and be better, so that we can continue pressing toward the mark for the prize. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “She’s Rich, But Can’t Find a Man”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • ‘Hurry Up’ Mode

    Heavenly Father is a Doer. His love continues to produce results, and it has always produced supremely positive results. God shows us in His Word that His love operates in a certain way. For instance, you might have heard it said that the first law of heaven is order. We know from God’s Word that order is extremely important to Him. 1Corinthians 14:33a(NLT) tells us, “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.”  Everything that He does has order. His patterns are consistent; we can count on them, because they will not fail us; they are fail-proof. These are truths that I’m sure you know, but somehow, when it comes to partnering, we allow the knowledge of God’s order to slip to the side a little bit. We don’t believe it’s necessary to think about things in a systematic way, so that we can be strategic in how we move, yet this is exactly how God does things.

    When our Heavenly Father makes a promise to us, He’s not going to waver back and forth, nor will He fail to deliver on the promise He has made. As we steady our minds and hearts on His promise of a more than abundant life, we know that included in this abundance is a long, happy, and productive marriage, should we desire it.

    God placed this desire for marriage in our hearts. Ephesians 2:10(NLT) tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”  Philippians 2:13(NLT) affirms, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”  God planned good things for us long ago, and He is working in us to accomplish those things by giving us both the desire and the power to get them done. This pleases Him greatly.

    Think about the relationship that you want, and how much you want it to happen, but also think about God and what He wants for your life. We want things to hurry up and come into manifestation quickly, but we must remember that God has an order; and it must be followed. He tells us His priority list for our lives in Matthew 6:33. God tells us to seek His Kingdom first, and every other good thing that we desire will flow out of this seeking. This is God’s Word. It’s a done deal. He’s not giving us a suggestion here. He’s telling us resolutely what must be done to have things flow in our lives according to His divine order and plan.

    Over the course of time, society as a whole has adapted a mode of ‘hurry-up’ when it comes to desires and needs. The discipline of patience in our society is slipping away, but God has not changed. His order has not changed, nor will it. We cannot hurry God, and He will not place our personal desires before the priority that He has set in His Word. He has told us to seek Him first, and when it comes to our desire to marry, many of us are doing everything but this.

    God is royalty. He rules His Kingdom with absolute sovereignty. Our born-again reality means that we are children of God; and therefore, we are citizens of His Kingdom. What this also means for us is that we will not attempt to do anything outside of God’s rule and will. Only 100% loyalty is accepted, because His Kingdom is one of undivided authority and dominion. If we step outside of His rule, we will be under the rule of darkness and outside of God’s priority for our lives; we’re no longer seeking Him first.

    We often make a thousand different excuses, but God’s Word is absolute. It’s perfect, and He’s faithful to it in every way. His Word will not bend to us, we must be flexible to it—moldable like clay. God’s Kingdom must be the priority, and to the extent that it isn’t, things will be subtracted rather than added. This is law! So, when it comes to marriage, our timetable and lists take a backseat. God requires us to have a heart that yields to His Kingdom. If a successful marriage is our goal, seeking the Kingdom of God has to be our prime objective and motivation.

    Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NLT) tells us “ But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” If your trust is firmly in God, and your desire is anchored in pleasing Him, His love will be at the root of all your desires. You will not be bothered by the heat when temptations come, and you will not yield when the drought of loneliness knocks at your door. You will stay joyful with bountiful faith, because you are fully persuaded that the fruit of a beautiful and Godly man is soon to harvest.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “‘Hurry Up’ Mode”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!