Find A Christian Man

Tag: Spiritually preparing for marriage

  • God’s Iron-Clad Guarantee

    Many single Christian sisters would very much like to be married. Getting married has held the number one spot on their prayer lists for quite a while. Some of them are crying out to God with a sense of urgency because of their age. They’d like to start a family and fear that if another year goes by without meeting their future husbands, they’ll be further away from the dream in their hearts. And we have to keep it real, many of God’s devoted daughters have maintained a vow of abstinence. They don’t want to slip up and do something against the Will of the Father, but wonder if they have the strength to keep holding on. Other sisters have been waiting on the right man for so long, that they’re losing faith he even exists. All of these sisters are wondering how much longer they must wait.

    Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” It may feel as though something is keeping the blessing of a husband at bay, but it isn’t Heavenly Father. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we’re doing everything we possibly can to receive the blessing, but the reality is that we may not be on the right path. This can be difficult to hear, but God’s Word is true. It is the only truth we can rely on with a guarantee of one-million-multiplied-by-infinity percent. God’s Word guarantees that He does not fail, that His Word is truth, and that He will never forsake us.

    With this kind of iron-clad guarantee from Heavenly Father, we have no other choice but to conclude that there must be something in our application of faith principles that isn’t quite lining up. We must remember that Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word. God’s Word summons faith. It causes it to come on the scene and get some stuff done. Are you speaking the Word enough? Are you thinking the Word enough? Because it is our responsibility, as doers of the Word, to give faith a shonuff’ workout. Faith ought to be so tired of you summoning it to come by the Word of God, that it has no other choice but to perform according to Heavenly Father’s iron-clad promises.

    We also have to ask ourselves if we are activating our faith through effective prayers. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8 (NLT), “For your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” God knows exactly the caliber of man you need to love and support you on your spiritual journey in Christ. There isn’t any detail about your future husband and impending marriage that God doesn’t know. The specificity of which God knows your need is beyond exact, yet He still tells you to ask. He still requires that we pray in faith. This means that there must be something about the asking that is important to the receiving.

    Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” Heavenly Father has given us precious promises in His Word. He loves it when we have high expectations, but sometimes we take His promises and try to mold them to fit into the plans we’ve constructed. This is where things fall apart. God will perform that which He has promised. Not trusting this is the reason many sisters spend longer than they’d like in wait-mode. Instead of leaning on Him in full surrender, we’ve tried to execute God’s purpose by fitting it into our small boxes, and this will not work. He’s a Great Big Wonderful God. He’s got strategies, resources, avenues, and paths that you and I could never imagine. We’re in no position to dictate to God. He is calling us ever so close to Him, because we must establish intimacy in our relationship with Heavenly Father before anything else.

    It’s this intimacy with God that allows us to hear His instructions, and to begin to walk them out through little steps of obedience. Are you willing to surrender your plans to Heavenly Father, or do you want things your way? Are you interested in pulling back all the layers, and holding yourself accountable to the truth? Are you praying that your future husband is prepared for your shortcomings? All of us have them. We’ve got idiosyncrasies and weaknesses, and keeping it 100, some of them have repelled the love we desire for ourselves. We’ve had issues from previous relationships that we haven’t dealt with. We haven’t sought the Lord for healing, nor have we had the patience to allow Jesus Christ to teach us to overcome.

    Sisters, spiritual preparation for marriage is a must, and you and I can’t get it done on our own. We must be led by the indwelling Holy Spirit to explore the areas that need God’s healing and power. And we must be obedient and humble enough to let Him take the lead. God sanctioned marriage. He loves families, and unity is His brand. His promises are iron-clad, and our faith in Him must be as well. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Iron-Clad Guarantee”, written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • You’re Stronger Than You Think

    The pain of a broken heart is no joke. Whether it’s because of the death of a loved one or because the person you love has chosen to move forward in the journey of life without you, it’s a hurtful and difficult thing. Emotionally, situations can be further complicated by the fact that sometimes we’re not sure how to grieve—how to move through that thick cloud of sadness without adding bitterness or blame to it. The absence of what used to be can leave such a vacancy that it seems nothing will ever fill it again. Not only is the thought of getting through the next five minutes agonizing, making it through the entire day is too much to fathom. How do you cope when everything about your life feels painful?

    We have all known people that have dealt with loss, and we’ve consoled them the best way  we knew how, but nothing quite prepares you for dealing with grief and hurt yourself. You have all these emotions, yet you still have to keep going to work, doing your everyday chores, and moving on with your life. The thing is, it isn’t the life you thought would be yours. In the back of your mind, you had always envisioned the pieces of your puzzle coming together. You might not have known exactly HOW they’d come together, but you believed they would in a way that would leave you in reasonably good shape.

    The surprise factor of loss or abandonment makes the blow even more devastating. It makes us question ourselves and sometimes even makes us question our faith. Although some believe that Heavenly Father causes suffering and uses it to punish or make people humble, spiritual maturity begs us to think higher than this. Doing so will allow us to grow and heal from love and not continue to linger in pain and fear. All suffering has its root in some plot of the enemy. Pain didn’t exist until the devil brought it into the world by tricking Adam and Eve to sin. Romans 5:12(NLT) tells us, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.”

    Whatever one believes about suffering, it is in fact a part of life. But even though you might feel as though your mind is all over the place, and your heart is being pulled in a million different directions, pain doesn’t have to crush you.

    The pieces of your puzzle may be scattered all over the floor, but God wants you to know that it IS possible for them to come together. In Romans 8:28 (NKJV), He tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  It is possible for your life to get better. It is also possible to change into a stronger YOU. In Mark 10:27, Jesus Christ said all things are possible to the person that believes and trusts in God!

    Hurdle one is to forge even the tiniest opening in your mind and heart for hope to come in and visit a while. One of the ways to do this is by slowly but surely accepting the reality that your puzzle isn’t going to look the way you thought. When it comes to the tone and texture of your life, YOU’RE not going to look the way you thought either. It’s a new puzzle, and there are pieces that you can’t identify right now. That may be a little scary, but God very clearly tells us in 2Timothy 1:7 (NKJV), “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

    Heavenly Father has given you a spirit of power, love, and sound mind. This is a package of resilience and strength! Romans 11:29 declares that His gifts can never be withdrawn. Even in the midst of heartbreak, you’re stronger than you think. God is inside you, and through His Spirit, He’s working within your heart and mind. He’s helping you to put the pieces of the puzzle together, so that your faith in His love and power grows. Be encouraged in Him.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “You’re Stronger Than You Think”,written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Yardstick Lesson

    My daughter asked me the other day, “Mom, when people grow up, do they live by themselves?” I said, “Well, yes, sometimes they do. Some grow up, get married, and have families.” She replied, “No, not me. When I grow up, I want to stay at home with you.” As the old saying goes, “When a child is old enough to leave home, a loving mother makes the child want to stay, and a good father makes sure they don’t.” As a mother, of course it is endearing to hear your children express such sweet sentiments. You want them to feel loved and supported. You also want them to be prepared to handle the world on their own, and that’s why the yardstick lesson is such an important one.

    A yardstick is a measuring rod that is a yard long, and measures things by inches. Its use is so widespread that we frequently use the word ‘yardstick’ as an indicator or gauge for something. In common terms, we refer to it as a hypothetical way of comparing standards or benchmarks. For instance, a person might say that the frequency of a man’s contact and communication is a yardstick for measuring his interest in the relationship. Understanding the way this extremely simple measuring tool works can help us plot, plan, come close, or keep our distance.

    Some of the biggest mistakes in life are because of toxic associations. We let the wrong people get too close and sometimes push the right people away. God warns us in Proverbs 14:7(NLT), “Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.” This is a lesson that many of us learn the hard way. As adults, we sometimes wish we could turn back the hand of time or have a do-over when it comes to failing to discern. We wish that we would have recognized certain tendencies, or kept our distance to give ourselves time to see the real deal.

    We want our children to grow up with a hopeful view of the world, but today’s complexities challenge us to be incredibly smart and spiritually wise about how we do this. We have no other choice but to instill within them a very sharp discernment about things like the character, motive, and intentions of people they don’t know very well. We have to model this for them by keeping our own radar in check.

    Just as we want our children to learn to keep the wrong people at arm’s length, God wants us to be wise in this area as well. He’s given His Word to guide us. In 1Thessalonians 5:22 (NLT), He warns us, “Stay away from every kind of evil.” God wants us to stay away from evil because it has no place whatsoever with Him. David, the psalmist, wrote in Psalm 5:4 (NIV), “For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome.”  If evil people are not welcome with God, they ought not to be welcomed by us.

    Heavenly Father takes it a step further and tells us exactly who and what these evil folks are.  2Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT) says, “3 You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. 4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!”

    The yardstick lesson is a much needed one to learn from God’s Word, so that we’re careful about our associations, and won’t invest time and energy into someone that isn’t of the Lord. It’s seeking God’s guidance through the Holy Spirit about who we should and shouldn’t allow into our lives. We would do well to remember that there are going to be some people we must love from a distance. Even those who may seem perfectly harmless can bring with them a ridiculous amount of toxicity, and we need to be careful and spiritually wise.

    Until we get a green light from heaven with new folks, we need to bring out that trusty yardstick, and use it. Our children can learn by our example. If we model both how to be kind and keen, they’ll learn to always seek the counsel of the Lord and keep a healthy distance from anyone that truly doesn’t have their best interest at heart. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Yardstick Lesson”, written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • This Is No Walk in the Park

    What do you do when you find yourself in a place in life that you never expected? Ephesians 1:3 tells us that God has blessed us with all spiritual blessings, so He’s given us everything we need to be equipped for anything the enemy throws our way. Still, life has a way of delivering some hard punches. You can end up in places you never in a million years thought you’d be. We make mistakes we never thought we’d make. We take career paths and jobs that are a far cry from where we thought we’d be, and we end up in relationships and sometimes marry people that were not who we thought they were. This can land us in a really dark place. So much so, that some of us begin to question God.

    When the unexpected hits, sometimes it brings an avalanche of other challenges as well. Marriages fail, finances become exceedingly tight, you’re behind in the bills, and kids have needs you’re not making enough to meet. All of this coupled with dealing with the emotional pain of a broken or lonely heart can do a number on a sista’s soul. You might pray relentlessly for the Lord to take away the hurt, but that dark cloud seems to loom.

    Many women that came before us endured similar and often far worse challenges than what we face today. This doesn’t diminish or invalidate our pain, but it should remind us that trouble does indeed come, but it doesn’t last always. I can hear the words of my grandmother saying, “Honey, the Lord won’t put more on you than you can bear.” This statement was tremendously comforting to her and many seasoned spiritual veterans, but we must never overlook the reality that God’s intention is that we grow in the knowledge of His Word. Our fore-mothers were forces to be reckoned with, but they didn’t have the exciting revelation that we have today. We know more about Jesus Christ and the strength of his resurrection power than perhaps any other group of people in history. This sets the stage for our overwhelming victory, and we ought to be looking forward to it in faith.

    There are droves of Christians that believe God punishes people by placing tribulations and burdens on them, but 1John 1:5 very clearly tells us that God is light and has no darkness at all. God doesn’t place burdens on us; He invites us to lay our burdens upon Him, because He is more than able to handle them. Confronting this truth really does give us a little bit of a window into the root of the struggle. Life is no walk in the park, because the enemy is going to throw darts at us. And when our backs are against the wall, we will be forced to confront exactly what we believe about God. Do we believe Him to be a merciful God who rescues us continually, or will we believe the lie that the devil wants us to believe, and think that love equals punishment?

    What we believe about Heavenly Father’s love for us is extremely important and consequential. It is the springboard that lifts us higher in Him. If you believe that God wants you to continue to suffer, the span of your reach is cut off. It stifles not only the freeing and positive influence that you’ll have on others, but it places a choke-hold on your confidence and hopes. God doesn’t want that for any of His children. This is why He’s helping you to move to a place in your mind and heart where you don’t view the resolution of your problem as the foundation for a happy life. Faith in God’s power and love through Jesus Christ is your foundation, and the joy of the Lord is your strength!

    Whether it’s the man leaving, the relationship not working out, or money woes, God wants us strong and leaning on Him for our everything. Ephesians 6:10-12 The Message (MSG) tells us, “And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the devil and all his angels.”

    It’s true that life is sometimes no walk in the park, and with our backs against the wall and no one to depend on, it feels like we’re out there with nothing to hold us up. It can be such a panicky place, and a lot of us are worrying ourselves to poor health because we’re so filled with doubt. That panicky feeling is fear, and God has given us everything we need to flip it into faith. Heavenly Father is light. His love is light, and because there are no strings attached to His love, and it’s so effortless and free, it might feel as if there’s nothing holding us up, but He’s got us! He won’t let go, and we shouldn’t either. We must hold firm to our faith and trust that victory is ours through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “This Is No Walk in the Park”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Return to Sender

    If you were to receive a letter or package in the mail that doesn’t belong to you, normally, the postal service will allow you to write “return to sender” on it; they will return it to the original sender at no cost. This is an antidote for life. When it comes to receiving anything that isn’t authorized by God Almighty Himself, it needs to go back to where it came from. Whether it’s a job, a new relationship, or even financial increases, you want to make sure that anything and everything new in your life has your name on it, that it’s been stamped by the Lord Jesus Christ and is completely orchestrated by Heaven above.

    You may think that’s going a bit over-board, but really when it comes to our lives, we can’t afford to make costly mistakes, because they consume a lot of time. They deplete our stamina and cause us to lose momentum on our Christian journeys. We can regain stamina and momentum, but time is lost forever; so, we need to be careful about the decisions and choices we make. Regardless of what it may be, you want God’s approval above all else.

    My father would say to my sisters and me, “When you lay your heads down on your pillow at night, you are the ones that have to be happy and at peace with whatever choices and decisions you’ve made today.” This piece of wisdom has stuck in the recesses of my mind for many, many years, because it cuts straight to the chase of the monumental effect that one simple choice can have on one’s life.

    Some years ago, a close acquaintance was in the real estate business and owned quite a number of properties. He was very well known as a savvy and successful business man. I told him I was in the process of looking to purchase my first home, and he was very eager to assist.  He even went so far as to set up a meeting for me with one of his top associates to discuss different options for first-time home buyers. Once it came down to signing some paper work, my spirit whispered that this was not the right move, and that working with my friend was not the right direction.

    I thought, “Why am I second guessing this?” It seemed logical. My friend had been in this real-estate game for many years. He knows all the ins and outs of home-buying, and he had seemingly popped back in my sphere at a very opportune moment. At first glance, it looked as if my friend was sent by God for the purpose of helping me navigate this big purchase, but internally, the Holy Spirit was not confirming the package. While God certainly can move and work through anyone to bless His people, our first responsibility as His children is to be attentive to His Spirit, and the indwelling Holy Spirit was nudging me to examine the package I had received more closely. It didn’t have my name on it.

    The enemy is insidious and will use even well-meaning individuals to counterfeit a blessing and trick us into accepting something that was never meant for us. In John 8:32(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” He’s telling us about the confirmation of the truth; it makes us free. There’s a feeling of peace associated with this freedom, and whenever we don’t have it, the Spirit will call attention to the absence of it. He, the indwelling Holy Spirit, was pulling me in another direction, and I chose to follow Him. I trusted God to steer me, and of course, He backed my faith every step of the way. This is how many single women have to be when it comes to new relationships with someone that is seemingly delivered into their lives. We can’t assume this person is sent from God. We must be patient and wait for the Lord’s confirmation.

    God tells us through the Apostle Peter in 1Peter 5:8(NLT), “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” As God’s people, our posture should always be one of alertness, paying attention to what is happening internally, in our spirit-man, and also paying attention to what is going on externally, examining anything that is sent our way.

    Psalm 37:5 (NLT) tells us, “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.” Life is filled with complex choices and challenges, and this is why we must seek God first in all that we do, and commit everything to Him. As His children, we only want to invest in those things that He has put His stamp of approval on. If He hasn’t, the Holy Spirit will let us know, and we can then mark it “return to sender” at no cost. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “Return to Sender!”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Foolish Decisions that Look Smart

    “Common sense is not so common.” I chuckle to myself every time I hear this wise old saying. There is so much truth in those words. Common sense is the good sound judgment that is presumed most people will possess. Each of us come to the table with our own uniqueness, and our brains might process and catalog information differently, but there are some things that one would hope is common to most human beings. This commonality when it comes to practical matters allows us to communicate and understand each other. It can at times be the framework to begin new relationships. The truth is that some of us just plain ol’ don’t have common sense in certain areas, and sometimes we need some extra help.

    Proverbs 9:8-9 (NLT) is one of those mega verses that will help us to have success in any area of our lives. It says, “8 So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser.” God tells us very plainly not to worry about the haters. They’re out there. They don’t want to see us shine, will try and squash our success, and they hate what we stand for. Jesus Christ told us in John 15:18-19(NLT), “18 If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” So, it should come as no surprise when folks that don’t even know our hearts will automatically dislike or hate us, and will do so for no other reason than we represent Christ.

    Heavenly Father also draws a distinction and contrast in Proverbs 9:8-9 that we can’t afford to ignore. He tells us that wise folks have a certain characteristic in common. If you correct them, they will love you. Wise people have an innate desire to become wiser. They understand that iron sharpens iron, and will not reject wisdom, but know that it is to their full advantage to accept it.

    I’m reminded of someone that hasn’t spoken to her mother in over three years. She’s planning a fall wedding and having difficulty with the thought of not having her mother be a part of it. I asked, “Why not just pick up the phone and call her?” She said that she just couldn’t, because her mother still hasn’t apologized for choosing her sister’s side of an argument. If she can hold a grudge for this long against the woman that birthed her, imagine what she will do with her future husband.

    The wisdom of common sense is essential, but we so often miss it. This woman’s future husband, who is fully aware of the issue, hasn’t yet seen his fiancée’s resentment against her mother for the red flag it clearly is. Holding on to a grudge will block the flow of God’s love. It will destroy the goodness that love in our relationships can bring as well.

    My grandmother use to say, “you can’t teach a fool nothing.” I thought it was a harsh statement, but as I’ve grown, I understand that being foolish is often preventable and avoidable. We yield to foolish whims sometimes because we will not humble ourselves to the wisdom of God’s Word. Many of us want instant love as quickly as we can have it. We want quick food, we want to get to our destinations quick, and we want resolutions on the double. When this is our attitude, we’re vulnerable to foolish decisions that look smart.

    The truth is that many of us are watering down our faith because we’d rather have milk than meat. We’d rather leap than take the time to really examine what’s under the hood. If you’re looking to partner well, you must avoid this stance at all cost. Proverbs 14:12(NLT) warns, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” Children of God should always want to do things God’s way. We think we have it all figured out, but God sees the entire scope of our lives, and His Word will never lead us astray. We truly need to build a relationship with Heavenly Father that is anchored in humility and trust. When it is, common sense will lead us to lean on Him and wait on His instruction, because His wisdom will always help us avoid making foolish decisions.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Foolish Decisions that Look Smart”,written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Lesson #5, Never Look Back!

    In Genesis 19, we learn more about the biblical record of Abraham’s nephew, Lot. After the death of Lot’s father, he went to live with his uncle, and Abraham loved him tremendously. Lot became prosperous just like Abraham, and when the Lord commanded Abraham to move to Bethel, Lot tagged along; but their households were too big for the one area. It was necessary for them to split. Lot ended up settling near the city of Sodom, and at first glance it seemed like a nice place. It was well-watered and the land had fertile soil, which was very suitable to maintain his crops and livestock, but as this notorious record in Genesis 19 bears out, all was not as it seemed in Sodom and its nearby city, Gomorrah. One of the greatest and most wise lessons that we must learn, particularly as single Christian women, is that you can never judge a book by its cover. This is lesson number one.

    The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were filled with wickedness, so evil in fact that these cities had to be destroyed. When the Lord told Abraham this, he was distraught, because he was afraid of what would happen to Lot, his nephew, but our God will not abandon those with a righteous heart towards Him, and this is undoubtedly lesson number two.

    It cannot be ignored that with the vile wickedness of these two cities, there was only one good man living among the inhabitants, and it was Lot. Genesis 19:1 tells us that when the two angels sent by God came to the entrance of Sodom, Lot was sitting there and stood up to greet them. Then he welcomed them by bowing. Lesson number three, humility is always the dominant characteristic of a good man.

    These angels must have looked like men, but it isn’t too much of a stretch to assume that Lot may have discerned something angelic and divine about them. He offered to wash their feet, and extended generous hospitality. Genesis 19:4-5(NLT) says, “4 But before they retired for the night, all the men of Sodom, young and old, came from all over the city and surrounded the house. 5 They shouted to Lot, “Where are the men who came to spend the night with you? Bring them out to us so we can have sex with them!” Lot stepped outside and pleaded with the men of Sodom to stop their wicked intentions. He even offered his own virgin daughters in exchange for the protection of these men. This willingness on the part of Lot to make such an extreme sacrifice for these messengers of God reveals the true nature of Lot’s heart. Lesson number four, acts of kindness and sacrifice will set you up for epic blessings.

    The angels were surely more powerful than Lot could have imagined, but the kind intention to protect them was returned to him and his family. They told Lot, his wife, and his two daughters in Genesis 19:17(NLT), “Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! Escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away!” The Lord rained down fire and burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah and everything was utterly destroyed, even the vegetation. As they were escaping this terrible destruction, verse 26 tells us that Lot’s wife looked back as she was following behind, and turned into a pillar of salt. Lesson number five, never look back!

    When we look back and focus our attention on the past instead of leaving it behind, we may not turn into a pillar of salt, but like Lot’s wife, giving in to the temptation will invite the bitterness of sin to again put a hold on our lives. We don’t want this. There are many lessons that we can learn from this record in Genesis 19, but the tragic loss of time, momentum, and stamina by trying to erect a monument to our past—to who we used to be and what we used to do, this is paralyzing to the newness of all Christ has made available to us.

    In Ephesians 4:22, God tells us to put off our former way of life, and put on the newness that Christ offers, because this is the way we grow and become strong in the Lord. It’s how we stop giving the enemy opportunities to pull us down. It takes spiritual strength to live long and strong in this dark and evil world, and our responsibility and privilege is to reach towards Christ with every ounce of strength we have. We cannot give in to the temptation of doubt and unbelief as Lot’s wife did. She was closely related to righteousness, for Lot by all accounts truly was, but close is not enough. We have to walk this walk ourselves, and if we are truly sold out for Jesus Christ, we will never look back. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Lesson #5, Never Look Back!”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • She’s Rich, But Can’t Find A Man

    Celeste is a very independent and fierce woman. She’s built her career on being labeled ‘the first’. She was the first woman to hold the position she had in a large construction company; she was the first African American to be promoted to a senior level management position, and she is the first woman in her local area to move up the ladder from worker to co-owner of the company. I would venture to say that 95% of her counterparts are men. Most of her days are spent working around them, but at 43 years-old, she has never been married, and according to her, has never come close. Celeste is fiercely competitive, savvy, and financially set. Not only is she very successful, but she’s very down-to-earth and friendly. She wants to marry a Christian man and isn’t concerned that he might not be as successful as she is. This is why it is so baffling that she hasn’t crossed paths with her Mr. Right.

    A person in Celeste’s position has be very cautious about men that might only want to date her because of her wealth. This hasn’t been too much of an issue for her because she’s very unassuming. Were it not for the S63-coupe she sports, one would never know that she’s got serious bank. Again, she’s a sweet person, loves the Lord Jesus Christ, and you’d be amazed at how easy it is to strike up a conversation with her and feel like you’ve known her all your life. Still, in most ways, she’s no different than many singles these days. Despite all our efforts to do good, we slip into patterns and behaviors that are hard to break.

    In Matthew 7:3(NIV), Jesus Christ schools us on the kind of behavior we should have with one another. For those bent on being picky and criticizing others, he asked, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” It’s common sense to look at our own weaknesses and faults before we even think about calling out someone else’s, but often we don’t think about it this way. We adopt a set of behaviors and patterns, and do so subconsciously. The thought of changing or altering them a bit doesn’t cross our minds.

    If a stranger asked those who know Celeste well to describe her, her unselfish Christian nature would not be the first thing that came to their minds. It would be the fact that she curses like a sailor; not all the time, but enough that vulgar words strip the sweet aroma of Christ that Christians are supposed to leave with others. Her kind heart is completely overshadowed by her foul mouth.

    Ephesians 4:29(NLT) admonishes us, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” How we speak and how we make use of our words can pose a very real challenge to our efforts to marry. God’s standard in Ephesians 4:29 is clear, and it is for men and women alike, but it cannot be denied that as mothers and wives, the tone and manner of which we speak can be tremendously soothing and encouraging to our children and husbands. We cannot be ignorant of how impactful our words can be, both negatively and positively.

    Psalm 52:2(NIV) says, “You who practice deceit, your tongue plots destruction; it is like a sharpened razor.” This is not the kind of people God has called us to be. We’re not to use our tongues like razors and cut people with our words. God says that everything we say should be good and helpful. I can tell you from personal experience that the consequences of not paying attention to God’s standard are far reaching and severe. I said some pretty hurtful words to someone I care about, and it boomeranged, as all actions do. Whether it is negative or positive, if you put it out there, it’s going to come back to you, and will do so with an impact that is greater than your original action.

    Our words have staying power. Negative words create a vicious negative cycle that keeps propelling darkness into a person’s life. People listen to the words we speak. Our children and loved ones are influenced by them. As Christians, we should desire to speak words that uplift and motivate everyone around us to be better.

    Celeste is rich, and complains that she can’t find a good man. She doesn’t realize that arrogance isn’t necessarily about being flashy and audacious, and that pride and arrogance might be holding her back. It’s the thinking that allows wealth to mold a person into being inflexible and unwilling to change in the ways God desires them to. God is not punishing Celeste for having a foul mouth. She’s punishing herself because she refuses to release it. It’s the refusal and neglect to place God’s Will over her will that is causing her believing to fizzle and her faith to misfire.

    The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:14 (NLT), “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” He understood that we’re all works in progress. We haven’t made it yet, but we are required to keep pressing, understanding that there is a standard we’re required and qualified to meet. Yes, we all have things about us that are not perfect. We’re not going to address every negative habit, behavior, or attitude in our lifetimes, but to the extent that something is holding our blessings at bay and causing us to miss the opportunity to be strategically positioned; it deserves our attention. We have to change and be better, so that we can continue pressing toward the mark for the prize. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “She’s Rich, But Can’t Find a Man”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Making the Right Decisions and Choices

    In James 1:13-14 (NLT), God tells us, “13 And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. 14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.” Temptation of the worse kind is a prompting to do something wrong or unwise. Some Christian leaders and teachers have taught for many years that God tempts or tests us in order to see how we will respond. We have been led to believe that He will do this in an effort to reveal exactly what we are made of. In truth, the scriptures tell us that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. He has all power in His hands, and He knows everything there is to know; this includes every detail of our past, present, and future. He created us and made us new creations through our new birth reality. So, He already knows what we’re made of, and it is our great privilege to affirm it boldly through Jesus Christ every day!

    God is never tempted to do wrong. This is a tremendous source of comfort, and it speaks to His omnipotence and goodness; but the truth that He never tempts anyone to do wrong is beyond an awesome piece of loveliness. It’s wonderful to have this truth in our arsenal of knowledge, so that we know exactly where temptation comes from. It comes from the devil. Some of us have attributed the stuff that comes from God as that which comes from satan. And vice versa; we have attributed darkness from the depths of hell as that which comes from Heavenly Father. We have greatly underestimated the importance of clearly discerning the source of that which is good from that which is evil.

    Our responsibility as Christians is to take by faith all that God says we can have, and then we are to disburse it or give it out, because everything that comes from God will bless, expand, increase, and continue to move forward. That which comes from satan causes a reverse reaction of the worse kind. Out of ignorance and immaturity, some of us will disburse and dole out what comes from satan. When we do this, it boomerangs! It comes back to us, and instead of blessing us, it smashes us in our faces. The hit is often devastating.

    Many of us have seen this boomerang effect in our relationships. It’s no secret that the enemy knows that when we put something negative out there, something negative is going to come back to bite us. That’s his whole game with this temptation business. Temptation will cause this boomerang effect. Many of us Christians have faced or will at some point in our lives face a challenging decision. It may not be apparent to us, or it may not be presented in a way that shouts ‘TEMPTATION’, but sometimes that is exactly what it is. It’s a web the enemy has spun to ensnare us.

    We have to be careful because sometimes this temptation is in the form of a fine specimen who’s charming as all get out, has dimples and a killer smile to boot, and he knows all the right things to say. There’s only two ways to handle it; either we will choose God’s way or the way of the enemy. And we can’t get it twisted, giving in to temptation will always end in regret. Heavenly Father has given us a way to avoid this, and all we need to do is ask for His help. The Holy Spirit that indwells us will give us guidance and direction so that we make good choices and decisions. But if we forfeit the patience and wisdom to heed his direction, the end result is going to lead to more confusion, heartache, and distress.

    In Genesis 39, we have a record of God’s favor on the life of Joseph, one of the 12 sons of Jacob. God caused Joseph to be successful in everything he did. Because of God’s favor, folks took notice of Joseph, including Potiphar, who was Pharaoh’s Captain of the Guard. Now, Joseph was a handsome and well-built young man, and Potiphar’s wife wanted him for herself. She didn’t hold back her advances towards him and tried to seduce Joseph by pressuring him to sleep with her. She allowed herself to be used by the devil to tempt Joseph, but He did everything to stay out of her way and never gave in to the temptations she presented.

    Joseph didn’t have the indwelling Holy Spirit like we have today, but he was committed to stand upon the righteousness he knew. How many of us will be so brave and courageous? Well, God demands that we are strong and persistent in our conviction to honor Him, no matter what the circumstances may be. We must have a made-up mind and heart to live and do what is right. Our stand for God’s way will always lead us down the path of His goodness and bring us closer to the blessings we desire.

    James 1:14 says that temptation comes from our own desires. This tells us that the tempter, the devil, makes a study of our desires, so that he will have something to trick us with. We must never lose sight of this and keep a careful watch for it. Our weaknesses and propensity towards poor judgement furthers his plots and plans.

    We don’t have to walk around being afraid of what the enemy will do. 1John 4:4 declares that the Holy Spirit that is within us is greater than the prince of darkness and his demonic cohorts. Jesus Christ declared in John 16:13 that the Holy Spirit will guide us into ALL truth, and God commands that we walk by the Spirit and follow his guidance. When we do, we can be confident that he will help us make right decisions and choices so that our lives are blessed and pleasing to God.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Making the Right Decisions and Choices”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Matching Apples to Oranges Won’t Work!

    One of my favorite passages of scripture is Jeremiah 17:7-8(NIV). It says, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” I absolutely love this scripture, because it holds jewels of truth. The diamond of it cuts right down to the core of what happens when we have a sold-out trust in Heavenly Father. I always try to visualize the kind of person this passage is referring to. What must a person go through in order to obtain a level of confidence like this in the Lord? I believe it’s the kind of confidence where God would stamp him or her with a brand of ‘fearless!’  How does one stay fresh and always hopeful? When everyone else is experiencing drought, how does this person continually bear fruit? These are questions to which you and I must seek the answers, because not only is this God’s standard for you, it is His blueprint for the person He desires as your spouse.

    It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is a spectacular person. The truth is that we’ve seen such erosion of Godly principles in the world, that some sisters have allowed a very cynical mindset to takeover when it comes to finding the right man. They have been so disappointed in the past that they won’t fully trust in God’s provision in this area. God won’t take us higher than we are willing to believe. But if we are fully persuaded and completely sold-out on His goodness, the extraordinarily wonderful thing about Heavenly Father is that He will exceed our expectations.

    Ephesians 3:20(KJV) tells us, “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,” Oh how I pray that you can get this into your heart. God works in the exceeding abundantly. This is His trademark, but He is also a God of consistency and order. With God, it is Spirit to spirit; Holiness to holiness; Faith to faith. It’s not apples to oranges. It’s apples to apples. He does the exceeding abundantly ACCORDING to the exceeding abundantly that is working in us. If you are not raising your sights to this level of faith, then you’re not going to see all that is available for you to see.

    This is why so many Christian women are disappointed in their desires. They are sometimes in the wrong place, talking to the wrong people, conversing about the wrong things; seeing the wrong things, thinking the wrong thoughts, and expecting right results. It doesn’t work this way. Faith to faith. You’ve gotta give God something to work with. Your arena has to change so that you can see a different picture—a higher picture than the one you’ve been seeing.

    The beautiful brother that is hardworking, pleasant to be around, pleasing to the eye, confident and strong, fearless, and continually energized by the power of the Holy Spirit—guess what? He’s not an abnormality in the realm of God’s treasures. He exists, and he is not in short supply. He’s a jewel of God’s truth!

    The Apostle James wrote in James 1:2-4(NIV), “2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  The spiritual lessons and preparation to become a wife may prove to be a test of your faith; it is for many single Christian women. It requires us to pull down strongholds of negativity and doubt, and to see the areas of our lives that need to be strengthened in Christ before we move forward to the blessing of matrimony.

    What happens is that some of us make the mistake of being a little bit too desperate or hasty for love. We want the prize without the prep. We want oranges to match apples; and we ignore the advice God gave us in His Word.

    Changing arenas means that we move higher to a heavenly view, where our trust in God regarding marriage is unwavering. This is what makes a person like a tree planted by the waters. It’s when your confidence is in God’s provision, and you just know that He’s going to do what He promised.

    It may seem a far distance from where you’re standing today, and if you were to look at switching lanes on your own…forget about it. Thank God that Jesus Christ is the head of our lives! He’s Lord! He knows where we’re supposed to be, when we’re supposed to be there, and how to get us there. We need to relinquish the steering wheel altogether and let perseverance finish its work. The way to get this done is to ask Heavenly Father for the guidance of the Holy Spirit through the Lord Jesus Christ. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will guide us through Christ and tell us exactly what we need to know, so that we can tap into God’s treasures. Trust that God’s goodness never runs dry! Get yourself pumped for a change of scenery on higher ground. The Holy Spirit will help you move up supernaturally, so that you not only see all the wonderful blessings God has for you, but you’ll be able to reach out and grab them.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Matching Apples to Oranges Won’t Work!”, written for findchristianman.com ©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!