Find A Christian Man

Author: findchristianman

  • You’re All in, But Him, Not So Much

    Gifts of expensive jewelry, bouquets of beautiful flowers, and dinners at nice restaurants; these are the tangible things that a lot of us associate with a man who is really interested in the woman he’s seeing. Keeping it real, these things can’t hurt, but the true foundation of the relationship is actually how a man interacts with you. The ‘umph’ in a relationship is when both partners are validating each other’s thoughts and feelings. In other words, it’s when he lets you know undeniably, that you are the woman he honors above all others.

    Of course, we should never make any person our all in all. Only God deserves this place in our lives, but Heavenly Father wants every woman to experience what it feels like to be genuinely valued and appreciated supremely. The man that chooses her as the object of his affection has the distinct responsibility to validate her in this way, and she has the responsibility for doing the same for him.

    Relationships lasts when both people are mutual in their degree of willingness to share and interact with each other while having a goal of increasing their love and support in mind. If you’re all in, and the other person isn’t quite there yet, you’re probably not going to receive the validation you need, and you shouldn’t settle for this.

    God said in Jeremiah 29:11(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.  “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Heavenly Father has your back. He has a plan for you, and it is a good one. God only wants what’s best for us, and He knows what it will take to bless us. We can trust Him to take care of our needs, and we can know resolutely that He would not have us picking up crumbs on the floor when He has prepared a feast at the table.

    Be firm in your conviction to receive quality love, but also measure it against the love and support you’re willing to extend yourself. Recognize when you just don’t do it for the other person. Let him go in grace while you do the same. His refusal to be all in is a sure indication that he’s not yet capable of recognizing the jewel that is ‘you’. This isn’t a bad thing at all. You want someone who appreciates you and knows the importance of validating it in a loving and Godly way. So always remember that God wants the best for you and continue walking in faith until you receive it.

    Written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Increasing Your Capacity to Love

    “May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:19 (NLT)

    I once worked for a man that most viewed as the ornery type. He was even called ‘Grinch’ because of his grisly voice and his somewhat grumpy outlook on life. After his first marriage ended, he declared that he’d never again get married. His previous wife had been unfaithful, and he didn’t feel he could allow himself to be so trusting again. This was until years later, when he met and married his current wife. Over time, we’ve kept up with each other, and I never dreamed his life would take such a turn. He’s been on quite the journey, and honestly, I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone that is willing to be as transparent about his life as he has been. He’s shared his ups and downs with me, and he has made a monumental impact on my life, as well as many others.

    After being married for only one year, his wife was diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). He made the decision to retire early so that they could enjoy as much time together as possible before this debilitating disease altered their lives. So, for the last several months he’s chronicled their everyday struggles with his closest friends. It gives him an avenue to vent, share, and give us an up close and personal view of what they go through.

    He calls their everyday struggles of adjustment, “the new normal”. His beloved wife has now lost most of her mobility. They were avid boaters, but have recently sold their boat because she is no longer able to climb on to it. Assisted walking, wheelchairs, long drives out of state to doctor visits are just a few of the new normal practices that consist of a typical day for them.

    There are a chorus of women singing the sad song of ‘not enough good men’, but it’s a tune I just can’t catch, especially after seeing this man’s commitment to care for his wife. I’ve gained immeasurable perspective from my ex-boss’s journey. I believe that if this kind of commitment and adoration can exist in the heart of a man who doesn’t openly profess the Lord, imagine the possibility of loyalty and love from one who does.

    He has given me an up-close and personal reminder of how love from a man should look, and what it should represent. In the case of many Christian singles looking to partner, often this is what is missing. It’s the connection between the love of Christ and the action, patience, and commitment it takes to carry it through. It’s a love that endures countless sleepless nights, and days filled with both agony and joy, all for the care of someone other than ourselves. It’s a selflessness that knows no bounds.

    Not only are we, as children of God, capable of exhibiting this kind of love, but we are commanded to demonstrate it to each other. Jesus Christ told us in John 15:12(NLT), “This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” This is the capacity that God is cultivating and increasing within us through the indwelling Holy Spirit. He’s teaching us to love with the humility, endurance, and faithfulness of Christ.

    God has told us through the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 3:16 that we need to pray to be empowered by the Holy Spirit with the strength to love this way. When we do, Ephesians 3:17 (NLT) says, “Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” When we are so focused on the love we don’t have, and we begin to speak words of lack, we are communicating that we do not believe in God’s provision. This is not good ground, and our roots cannot grow in it. Jesus Christ came so that we could have a life of abundance. Everything that we could ever need, he provided access to it. Faith and trust in this truth is the ground we need, and it is the only ground that will produce the harvest we’ve been praying to receive.

    I’m not sure that my ex-boss knows the scripture as well as many of us do, but he made a very conscious decision that changed the course of his life. He chose to leave his past doubts and reservations behind, in an effort to love and care deeply for someone new. Instead of focusing on what he didn’t have, he chose to focus on the love that he could give. And I’m sure even he is surprised by the capacity and level of love he has demonstrated.

    Ephesians 3:18 (NLT) says, “And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.” It is so very important for each of us to understand that the love of Christ within us is limitless. It is more than enough for any circumstance, at any time. I will hear women say about a man that doesn’t meet their long list of ‘must haves’, “He’s nice, but I could never love him.”  Heavenly Father wants us to be beyond this kind of thinking, because the person that will bring to us the greatest joy will also bring the greatest challenge, and the unconditional love of God must be cultivated in our hearts in order to handle it. So while we’re yet single, we should strive to understand God’s love daily, and pray that He will empower us to know, live, and grow in the love of Christ. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Increasing Your Capacity to Love” written for FACM, findchristianman.com ©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • It’s Just So Unfair!

    James 3:17 (NLT) “17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.”

    “I just can’t go to another wedding! My last single girlfriend just snagged a good man, and I don’t understand it. She hasn’t been on this Christian journey as long as I have, and I don’t think she’s as dedicated as I am. To make matters worse, she’s on her second go around, and I’ve never had a ring on my finger! It just doesn’t seem fair. Where am I going wrong?” This summarizes the sentiments of many sister-friends that are very frustrated. They’ve been single longer than they’d like and don’t understand why things are not working out for them.

    God provides for us a sure Word, a Word that we can count on no matter what, because God’s Word will never fail or falter. We can stand upon it and it will never let us down. In James 3:17, He tells us that His wisdom is pure. It is unadulterated. So when we see things that look to us to be unfair, we can rest assured that they may look that way, but God’s way is perfect.

    It is when we allow ourselves to indulge this sense that we are being wronged or unfairly treated in life that we make huge errors. The first mistake is forgetting that God’s wisdom is unfailing, and the second is neglecting that it does not show favoritism. This train of thought gains traction from our emotional responses, and once it does, it then has the power to affect our outcomes.

    God has told us to renew our minds for a reason, and one of those reasons is because the way we think plays a huge role in the amount of peace, abundance, and fulfillment we experience in life. Without putting ourselves in check, we begin to move in reverse and attract the exact opposite of the blessings we desire.

    The blessing of marriage is a spiritually forward, progressive, and higher level reality. Therefore, it stands to reason that it will require a spiritually forward, progressive, and higher level mentality and emotionality to build capacity for it. We can’t get there by indulging negativity and letting bottom feeding thoughts and emotions drag us beneath the realm of Godliness.  You can only get a higher functioning mind-and-heart set from trusting, knowing, and feeding upon God’s Word.  

    James 1:5 (NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” The same energy that we waste by thinking and reacting to doubt, we can reroute towards having faith in the generosity of God. Transitioning from single to married takes decisive steps, just like any other thing that we seek to do in life. If you’re doing something that you shouldn’t be doing, or you’re not doing what you should be doing, and you’re not quite certain where you’re veering off the path, ask our generous God if you can’t figure it out. He won’t be mad about it. Through the Holy Spirit, He’ll tell you exactly what you need to do in order to receive the blessing you so earnestly desire. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “It’s Just So Unfair!”, written for Findingchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Choose Love

    Deuteronomy 11:26-28 (NLT) “Look, today I am giving you the choice between a blessing and a curse! 27 You will be blessed if you obey the commands of the Lord your God that I am giving you today. 28 But you will be cursed if you reject the commands of the Lord your God and turn away from him and worship gods you have not known before.”

    In Deuteronomy 11:26-28 (NLT), Moses warned the Children of Israel to be careful to obey the commands God had given them. If you think of all the miraculous signs and wonders by the hand of God they had seen, it is hard to imagine why the Israelites would need to be warned. God had given them specific commandments, and it should have been enough for them to simply hear and obey, but that wasn’t the case. Repeatedly, God reminded them of His delivering power, because they would not listen to or heed His instructions.

    The Children of Israel had a choice. They could choose to love the Lord their God by walking in His ways and holding tightly to Him, or they could allow their hearts to be deceived, and worship other idol gods. This is a no-brainer, but throughout biblical history, we see God’s people deviating time after time from what they knew to be true.

    As sisters desiring marriage, many of us will abdicate our responsibility to God and fall into disobedience. We know what God’s Word says, but we will place the man’s desire for pleasure over God’s desire for us to honor our temples.

    “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Mark 12:30(NLT)

    God didn’t want robots. He wanted a family. He wanted children that would love Him because they chose to, not because they had to. Love is a decision. We make the choice as to whether we will walk in God’s love through obedience to His Word and be blessed, or whether we will love the world and forfeit the destiny God has given us.

    A cursed life is one that exists when a person chooses to be blinded from the truth. Jesus Christ told us in John 14:6 that he is the way, the truth, and the life. The world has refused him; therefore, the world has refused the truth.

    We don’t need to do anything but look at the news to see how foolish and perilous the world has become as a result of refusing to accept Jesus Christ. It is riddled with fear, lust, envy, jealousy and pain, all symptoms of a cursed life. This is what a life looks like without the foundation of God’s love. As believers, we must choose to obey God’s Word. Let’s make a greater commitment to stand upon it. It isn’t burdensome. It’s a choice to more fully love God, and to love others His way.

    “Choose Love” written for FindChristianMan.com©2019. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

  • 3 Answers that Prove You’re Ready for the Blessing

    Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence that we have the thing we hope to receive before it actually comes to fruition. Faith is the title deed to the blessings we are confident we’ll possess. God has charged you and I with the responsibility of holding a mental and emotional title deed in our minds and hearts through faith. This title deed of faith is a rightful claim to the blessings we’re praying to receive. We hold it in our minds and hearts, and it gives us the same level of ownership in the spiritual realm as a deed written on paper for something we actually own, like a car or a house. In a literal sense, we know that once we have a title deed from a bank, it’s proof to all that will see it that the property, by all legal accounts, is rightfully ours. Faith works in much the same way.

    In the business arena, a purchasing contract signals to everyone that we have an intention to take possession of something valuable. After we have proven the capacity to ethically procure the property, we sign on the dotted line. Then, after the contractual period has lapsed, if we have abided by all the requirements, maintained the care of the property, and made all the payments necessary to contractually own it outright, we take possession. This is a process that takes place in the natural realm. We expect it when we’re looking to own something valuable. Faith has a process too. Sometimes it takes a long while to manifest results, or it can take as little time as a blink of an eye.

    The process of legally taking ownership of a valuable and tangible asset can be a lengthy process. In the case of a house in the United States, it can take up to and over 30 years. I will venture to say that most of us have never waited that long for a blessing to come into fruition, but if that is what it requires, we should be ready and committed enough to stand on God’s Word until the promise materializes. If you’ve done the mental and emotional work of faith, and you feel as though the time that has passed seems beyond the processing period required, consider that God is still building your capacity to take ownership. He wants to expand your vision regarding the blessing you seek. Answering the following questions might help you to gain greater focus and ultimately get in synch with what Heavenly Father has stored up for you.

    Are my wants and my needs in balance?
    The blessings that we are hoping to receive are not too big for God. And I don’t believe that God ever tells us ‘NO’ when we ask according to His Will. Our God is an excellent and masterful Giver. He knows that sometimes we want things that far exceed our need for them. Jesus Christ tells us in Luke 1:37 that nothing is impossible with God. He is a wonderful and loving Heavenly Father, and He is our sufficiency. It is His good pleasure to bless His people, but this doesn’t mean that we will take possession of everything we desire, WHEN we desire it.

    God wants you and I to be wise recipients, and He wants to bless us with blessings that are most beneficial for our over-all wellbeing. This means that we need to learn to spiritually discern what is right for our lives. God also expects that we will use the wisdom of balance. This means we shouldn’t pray to receive blessings that exceed the level of our ability to put them to good use. Heaven’s economy is not one of greed, but of balance and preciseness. It is important for us to really think about our desires from this perspective, and then allow the Holy Spirit to guide us into greater areas of wisdom and understanding regarding the blessings we’re seeking.

    Have I held my desires more tightly than I have my commitment to God?
    The answer to this question is usually one that comes from a place that most of us do not explore on a regular basis. It’s a place where the secret motives of our hearts are stored. Jeremiah 17:9 says that we can never know the heart fully, because it contains the potential for great levels of deceitfulness. The heart is a very important place in our souls. It’s at the core of our identity, and often this is a place where we hold things so tightly and for so long, that we don’t realize the scope and length of our grip. We cannot continue in a state of unconsciousness about what we’re holding on to.

    God has designed the universe in such a way that when we see clearer spiritually, we see better naturally. The things that were hidden from us before will come into full view. It’s this ‘full view’ that we should be seeking more than anything else, because it is entirely possible that we’re so consumed with what we want that it has obscured our vision when it comes to the things of God. If this is the case, we need to come into an awareness about it. Sometimes our desire to marry is rooted in insecurities, and we’re looking to someone other than Jesus Christ to make us whole. Humans are not capable of doing this for each other. We’re created to be complete in Christ and must look to him before any other person. Our needs are fulfilled by God’s love. He is our sufficiency. So we should never look to another human being to do what only God can do for us.

    Have you proven your commitment to maintain the blessings you seek?
    All of us think we’re ready to handle the blessings we’re asking God for, but it isn’t enough to think it, or even to speak it. Yes, we’ve got to make positive confessions, renew our minds to God’s Word, and put some positive action behind the title deed of faith that we’re holding, but we also must have a proven commitment to maintain the blessings we seek. This means that we have demonstrated a history of taking care of what we currently have in our possession.

    The most apparent demonstration of preparedness to handle blessings is our attention to detail. Most of us won’t admit this, but there are details in our daily lives that we drastically overlook and neglect because our minds haven’t been renewed in places they should be. We simply don’t think about doing certain things, and because we don’t, certain opportunities are hidden from us. We prove our preparedness, as well as our commitment to make room for blessings, by increasing in spiritual strength. An increase in spiritual strength equates to an increased spiritual awareness. We can’t rely only on our human strength and knowledge. We’ve done that and it’s not working for us. God longs to show us what He can do for-in-by-through and with us through the Holy Spirit that dwells within. We must seek the Spirit’s guidance continually. He will help us come into consciousness about important details and increase our level of awareness. This will greatly help us in the area of preparing for marriage.

    1 Corinthians 2:10 (NLT) says, “But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets.” There is so much we could know, but don’t know, because we will not seek to grow in the Spirit. Jesus Christ wants to live through us. He wants to bless others through our blessings, and he accomplishes this through the Spirit that indwells us. The Spirit will do for us what we can never do for ourselves. So the greatest gift we can give ourselves is to seek to grow in the Spirit. He will help us press-in and hold the title deed of faith in our minds. Then we’ll be poised to take possession of the blessings God has for us.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “3 Answers that Prove You’re Ready for the Blessing” written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Search Me Lord

    Search Me Lord

    Psalm 139:23-24 (NLT)
    23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you.

    When you have a child, there is nothing you won’t do to protect them, because you love them. You believe you know your child through and through. If someone asked you to tell them everything there is to know about your child, you could probably give them a long list of characteristics and qualities in great detail, but even as well as we think we know our kids, they still surprise us. We are imperfect human beings with flaws and habit patterns that cause us to surprise even ourselves at times. None of us could ever possibly know our own selves nearly as well as we claim too. We are forever beings—eternal. When you think about the reality that God knew us from the beginning, and He knows us all the way through an endless eternity, it’s pretty mind boggling.

    Heavenly Father knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb. He knows our every thought, and even the number of hairs on our heads. He knows what we’re going to say or do before we say or do it. So why, then, did the Psalmist ask God to search him, when God already knew all there is to know about him?

    God’s love is infinitely above the love from a parent or a spouse. His love cannot be compared to any that we will experience from another human being. David asked that God would search his heart because he had confidence in Heavenly Father. He knew God’s power. He knew God’s omnipotence, and that God uses all that He is to lavish us in His care. David also understood that there are times when we get in our own way. We block ourselves from the very blessings we desire.

    Some of us want to be married so very badly, or maybe it is something else that we’ve been praying a long time to receive. As sons and daughters of God, we should know enough about the way of Christ to understand that changes will continually need to be made; this is the nature of life and growth. You and I don’t always pick up on the things that we need to change, but when we have a heart like David—when our faith is truly in God, we can be confident enough to ask God to search our hearts.

    We’re asking God to take us on an inward journey. We’re asking Him to reveal something to us internally that has been hidden from our consciousness—something that will help us to know ourselves better through Christ, so that we can be better for him and for ourselves.

    All of us should ask God to search us for anything that offends Him. He will most assuredly reveal it, and when He does, we will see that God has been preparing us to receive the desires of our hearts all along.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Search Me Lord” written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Actions and Consequences

    Actions and Consequences

    Romans 8:28(NKJV) is one among many jewels in the crown of knowledge and wisdom that God has given us. It says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” When we think of this verse, we should try imagining life as one big stirring pot of every kind of circumstance one can imagine; both advantageous, and not so much. If our aim is to please God and to grow closer to Him, no matter how vigorous or slowly we stir the contents of this pot—no matter how heated or lukewarm the contents may be, the ultimate outcome is always going to be something delicious.

    Romans 8:28 is God’s guarantee, yet it is often so difficult for many of us to believe, particularly when it comes to crossing paths with the person we will ultimately marry. Some of us can become so emotionally distraught with the ups and downs of dating and misfits, that we’re too exhausted to give ‘hope’ the fighting chance it deserves. There’s a remedy for this, and truly it is the only one that makes any sense. If you’ve been praying and praying, year after year, and it doesn’t feel as if you’ve made significant headway towards the proverbial trip down the aisle, the truth is that indeed you have made strides; perhaps some that you haven’t yet recognized.

    fcm-romans-8-28You’ve probably learned quite a bit about what you don’t like and what you’re unwilling to tolerate in the person you want to marry. The depth and meaningfulness of qualities like loyalty, devotion, gentleness, kindness, and affection are probably now more prominent in your pursuit of a Godly partner than those of pretty eyes, dimples, and a full head of hair. But even though you’ve gained this knowledge, still, you can’t fully know from where you stand today the kind of spiritual, emotional, and mental tenacity that it requires for two people to hold a union intact. We all think we know, but really, we have no idea.

    The process of spiritual preparation for marriage is an incredibly important subject for anyone desiring to be a spouse. Sometimes we forget that our Heavenly Father has a standard, and His standard is such that all things are going to coagulate, cooperate, and gel together in such a way that our good rises to the top.

    This isn’t going to just pop out of nowhere. There’s a human element to this equation, and that means that the Holy Spirit absolutely has to be involved if success is the goal. He, the gift, is going to guide us to the finish line. He’s our teacher, so learning some serious lessons absolutely has to be a part of the equation too. One of the lessons required to be fully and tightly fitted in our arsenal of wisdom and faith is the lesson of Cause and Effect.

    Often, it’s not an easy pill to swallow, but swallow it we must because it is simply the way God designed the universe to work; and no matter how much we may not like it at times, the end result will always be to His glory. There is a cause and effect to everything in life, and when you come to understand this, you’ll see the thread of truth that runs through every triumph and defeat of your existence.

    Simply put, when your heart is to please God and bless others, not only will you see it reflected in your life, but so will others around you as well. But lest we forget, there’s a flip side to this coin. When you have ugliness in your heart, such as bitterness, anger, and arrogance; situations and people will act as a mirror, reflecting the bad stuff that you really wouldn’t want.

    To see this more clearly, consider the message that God gave the prophet, Zephaniah, to give to the people of Judah and Jerusalem. Manasseh and his son Amon, notorious idol worshippers, were two of the most wicked kings of Judah and Jerusalem. During their reign the people turned their backs on God, ceased to worship Him, and began to pick up the practices of Manasseh and Amon and worshipped idol Gods. They became a society of people that were corrupt and immoral in every sense of the word.

    Zephaniah warned them of “the day of the Lord”, and in Zephaniah 1:2,3, 12-14 (The Message), he gave them a message from Heavenly Father:

    2 “I’m going to make a clean sweep of the earth, a thorough housecleaning.” God’s Decree.

    3 “Men and women and animals, including birds and fish—Anything and everything that causes sin—will go, but especially people.

    12-14 On Judgment Day, I’ll search through every closet and alley in Jerusalem. I’ll find and punish those who are sitting it out, fat and lazy, amusing themselves and taking it easy, Who think, ‘God doesn’t do anything, good or bad. He isn’t involved, so neither are we.’ But just wait. They’ll lose everything they have, money and house and land.

    Some of us have imagined that God would leave His throne just to punish these folks for their deplorable and evil behavior, but God designed the universe to hurl back at us the full brunt (and then some) of the stuff that we give it, whether it’s positive or negative. Heavenly Father allows us to live our lives just the way we choose – it’s our free-will choice, and He will not violate it. His love doesn’t shove or push, instead God’s love is pure and kind. It isn’t puffed up nor does His love seek revenge. But if we choose to practice darkness, if we play the game of deceit, then we give the devil the ammunition he needs to throw darts of darkness and deceit back at us; and his darts sting far worse than ours.

    When we turn away from God’s love through our actions, our lives begin to deteriorate rapidly, and unless we recognize this our lives will continue to spiral downward. You may ask yourself, “But why would God want His people to suffer?” God doesn’t cause pain and suffering, but He will allow it; and often it is a consequence for disobedience and sin.

    There are so many needless divorces out there because couples have refused or neglected to take responsibility for their actions and to be accountable for the hurt they’ve spearheaded by putting the wrong stuff out there. God’s laws dictate that if you keep doing the same things you’re doing; you’re going to keep getting the same things you’re getting. He wants us to know that if we don’t like the consequences we’re getting, we can utilize the power of His love to change them. This is a lesson that must be firmly etched in your heart and mind. When it is, you can have confidence that one day soon you’ll have a marriage where all things will continually work together for your family’s good. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    “Actions and Consequences” written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Don’t You See It?

    Don’t You See It?

    Isaiah 43:15-19(NLT)
    15 I am the Lord, your Holy One, Israel’s Creator and King. 16 I am the Lord, who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. 17 I called forth the mighty army of Egypt with all its chariots and horses. I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned, their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick. 18 “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.19 For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

    When was the last time you got excited…I mean goosebumps, stomach flip-flopping, jumping out of your skin excited? Do you know the Christian walk should provoke this kind of jubilance from us every day? Well it definitely should! If you’re not experiencing this, the next logical question is why aren’t you? We may not feel like skipping through fields of sunflowers every moment of the day, but we must identify this level of energy, vigor, and joy as God’s goal for us. Not only is it His goal that we remain in a constant state of joy, but He’s done everything that could possibly be done to make it available to us. It’s now our responsibility to reach out, grab it, and make it our own.

    It is easier to be depressed, upset, angry, and doubtful than to be excited about what God wants to do in your life, and most importantly, what He has already done. The things that God has promised us, He is willing, able, and ready to fulfill. What’s the hold up? It’s usually us. We are not believing Him in faith, but instead, we have trained our minds to wait with wishful thinking. We ask, “God, why don’t I have this? What’s wrong? Why are You taking so long?” Many of us are not exercising faith in God, or the things He’s promised.

    God is waiting on us to change, and the changes we need to make must be consistent with His Word. Faith begins in the mind. The mind is our thought-processing center, and God designed it to be very logical. We feed it data. It computes, programs, and then catalogs this data based on where we tell it to go. Does it go to faith? Does it go to fear? Does it go to work, play, family, chores…we tell it how to house and catalog the data we’ve allowed in its gateway. If we tell it to catalog data that isn’t logical or doesn’t make sense, the mind tells itself that we don’t really believe the data it’s received.

    Let me give you a visual of this as it relates to your faith. The mind knows that we will only act on data or knowledge we believe. So, your mind will not accept that you believe ‘God is good all the time and all the time God is good’ if you also believe He punishes you. You’ve already programmed your mind that punishment is bad, so it will not accept that good and bad are the same. Trying to believe this will cause you to be unstable, and you won’t be able to receive the results of faith that you desire, because you will not act upon something you don’t believe. It is equally true that you can’t desire the Will of God in your life for marriage, and not equally desire to walk in the purpose to which you’ve been called. If you believe in God’s Will for you, the evidence will be your attentiveness to do it.

    Romans 10:17(NLT) states, “So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.” And James 2:26 tells us that faith without works is dead. From these two powerful verses, you and I can gather that if our attitude doesn’t compute with faith and our actions don’t compute with faith, then faith is not going to come. This is a very simple statement of truth, but many are still perplexed about why they are not receiving the results of their faith.

    Aren’t’ you tired of just having a little bit of your needs met? Aren’t you tired of hitting and missing? If you have some habits you need to get rid of or put aside, why not just do it and get yourself aligned with faith. Let the Lord know that you want His power to emanate within you. You must want what God wants for your life.

    Ephesians 3:20 affirms that we serve a God that deals in the exceedingly abundantly. He goes above and beyond anything we can ask or think. Don’t expect to continue doing the same things and expect different results. See God bigger! He wants to do a new a new thing in your life, and you must do everything humanly possible to follow His lead.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Don’t You See It?” written for Findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What to Do to Keep Him

    What to Do to Keep Him

    Some women consider solidifying a relationship with a man to be a very intense thing. An old saying goes something like this, “What you do to get him, you’ve got to do to keep him.” This relic from back in the day is chock full of all sorts of innuendo, some of it not so virtuous if you get my drift, but it still drives the mentality that a lot of women have around relationships with men. Recently, I’ve been reminded of some of the habit patterns spun from this kind of thinking, and not only does it do a number on a sister’s self-esteem, but it will drown a relationship in a sea of resentment and insecurity.

    There are not many feelings that compare to praying to receive something from God for an extended period, and then actually witnessing the manifestation of it. This is magnified exponentially when it comes to a blossoming romantic relationship. Problems creep in when we don’t hold to God’s standard, and acquiesce to what amounts to a flawed way of trying to maintain the blessing. Most of us have taken our cues from what we’ve seen in the past. We’ve looked at our mothers, aunts, cousins, and friends, and taken tidbits from them on how to handle certain situations. Believe it or not, many women are using television shows as a source of information and ‘how to’s’ for relationships and dating. A lot of this can be more harmful than helpful.

    2Peter 1:3(NIV) tells us, “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” This verse is so awesome that it’s almost too much to take in. God has provided everything for a Godly life. The way that He has chosen to do this is to make His life-giving truth available to us through the bible. By learning about God and His goodness, we can live a more than abundant life that is enriched by His glory.

    This more than abundant life includes having a wonderful spouse that will love and honor us as God’s daughters. We don’t have to force anything, and we don’t have to feel as though we must manipulate, spy, or coerce; but often this is what we resort to, and we’ve figured out very cute ways of doing it.

    We will call or text a brother 15 times a day, and convince ourselves that we’re just being caring and supportive, when in fact we’re acting out of insecurity. We don’t even give him a chance to miss us. Some of us will chase a man down if we sense that he’s not where he’s supposed to be when he’s supposed to be there. You can’t have eggs this fragile, and then place all of them in the basket of a person that is incapable of keeping them intact. Fragile things get broken.

    You can call, text, and be on a man’s trail 24/7, but if you’re insecure and vulnerable in your heart, you are going to be disappointed at some point. In Matthew 22:37, Jesus Christ tells us how to sure up our hearts. He said we should love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. We are to love God with our everything. When our hearts are secure in God, and we are loving Him the way that His Word instructs us to, we will become strong in heart and spirit. We’ll be so immersed in God’s grace and glory that we won’t have time to chase after another person; we’re too busy chasing God.

    When it comes to handling and maintaining blessings, Heavenly Father has given us a framework of wisdom through His Word, and it is to seek Him in all things. This requires us to take our time, and to also be levelheaded enough to step back early in relationships, so that we can examine if it is the blessing we think it could be. We can dispense with the tricks and manipulations just to keep a man. All we have to do is trust the truth that God will bless us with someone that is honored to be with us, and everything that this brother does will reveal this to us in the most loving and secure way. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

     “What to Do to Keep Him”, written for findchristianman.com©2019.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • A Habit Pattern of Real Love

    A Habit Pattern of Real Love

    The definition of love is described as the ultimate expression of God’s loyalty, purity, grace, and mercy that is extended towards His people. It is to be reflected in human relationships of brotherly concern, marital fidelity, and adoration of God. You really can’t get any better than this. Heavenly Father desires that we, as His beloved sons and daughters, spiritually grow to the point that we are able to demonstrate His kind of love. 1Corinthians 13:7 (The Message) tells us the way that God’s kind of love behaves. It says, “Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.”

    I heard a story recently of a newly married couple that had not allowed themselves to be fully developed in God’s love. The man often told his wife that he loved her with all his heart, and that he felt his love for her deeply in his soul, but on occasions when he’d get upset, he would ignore her for days. He would not speak to her and would intentionally do things to hurt her feelings. She expressed such heavy disappointment in his behavior and said that she had not seen this characteristic in him before they married. Both of these individuals are Christians, and yet neither were prepared for the complexities that come with marrying someone who has idiosyncrasies that are contrary to the ways of Christ.

    Many of us are deceived, and do not realize the extent to which the enemy will attack a marital union. Spouses have very intimate information about each other; and therefore, have access to each other’s sorest and most vulnerable spots. When either of them allows the enemy to work through them in a heated argument or disagreement, the damage can cut deep, with wounds that are sometimes incredibly difficult to heal.

    It should be no surprise to any Christian that the devil will attempt to use a spouse to go for the jugular. As a single person that is praying to cross the path of your future spouse, this is one of the most important reasons you need to pray unyieldingly that you are prepared for marriage. It is crucial that you know the difference between God’s love—real love, and a counterfeit love, because not being able to discern the two will cost you.

    Any of us can tell a person all day long “I love you,” but the true story behind those words are found in what a person does, not so much in what they say. And we must be careful even about this element of distinction. Many sisters will take the smallest, most insignificant gesture from the object of their affection, and they will magnify it to make themselves comfortable with accepting less.

    The greatest way for you to measure the quality of love that you’ll receive in a marriage is to take a bold, in depth, and ridiculously honest look at the love you give. Ultimately the love you give is the measure of love that will come back to you. Luke 6:38 (NLT) says, “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” As believers who love and adore our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we must develop a habit pattern of love, giving, and sharing prior to taking that walk down the aisle. We should be so comfortable with a daily commitment of loving action that marriage is just a natural and organic extension of the way you live.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
    “A Habit Pattern of Real Love”, written for findchristianman.com© 2019. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.