Find A Christian Man

Author: findchristianman

Jewels of Truth

One of my favorites passages of scripture is Jeremiah 17:7-8(NIV). It says, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” I absolutely love this scripture, because it holds jewels of truth. The diamond of it cuts right down to the truth of what happens when we have a sold-out trust in Heavenly Father. In the past, when reading this verse, I visualized the kind of person it was referring to. What must a person go through in order to obtain this level of confidence in the Lord; the kind of confidence where God would stamp him or her with a brand of ‘fearless!” How does one stay fresh and always hopeful? When everyone else is experiencing drought, how does this person continually bear fruit? These are questions to which you and I must seek the answers, because not only is this a pretty special person, it is God’s blueprint for the person that He desires to be your spouse.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is a spectacular person by God’s standards. The truth is that we’ve seen such erosion of Godly principles in the world, that some sisters have allowed a very cynical mindset to takeover when it comes to finding the right man for them. They have been so disappointed in the past that they won’t fully trust in God’s provision in this area. This is the extraordinarily wonderful thing about Heavenly Father; He exceeds our expectations, and waits for our minds and hearts to catch up to it.

Ephesians 3:20(KJV) tells us, “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,” Oh how I pray that you can get this into your heart. God works in the exceeding abundantly. This is His trademark, but He is also a God of consistency and order. With God, it is spirit to spirit; holiness to holiness; faith to faith. It’s not apples to oranges. It’s apples to apples. He does the exceeding abundantly ACCORDING to the exceeding abundantly that is working in us. If you are not dabbling in this particular arena, then you’re not going to see all that is available to see.

This is why so many Christian women are disappointed in their desires. They are sometimes in the wrong place, talking to the wrong people, conversing about the wrong things; seeing the wrong things, thinking the wrong thoughts, and expecting right results. It doesn’t work this way. Faith to faith. You’ve gotta give God something to work with. Your arena has to change so that you can see a different picture—a higher picture than the one you’ve been seeing.

The beautiful brother that is hardworking, pleasant to be around, pleasing to the eye, confident and strong, fearless, and continually energized by the power of the Holy Spirit—guess what? He’s not an abnormality in the realm of God’s treasures. He exists, and he is not in short supply. He’s a jewel of God’s truth!

The Apostle James wrote in James 1:2-4(NIV), “2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” The spiritual lessons and preparation to become a wife may prove to be a test of your faith; it is for many single Christian women. It requires us to pull down strongholds of negativity and doubt, and to see the areas of our lives that need to be strengthened in Christ before we move forward to the blessing of matrimony.

What happens is that some of us make the mistake of being a little bit too desperate or hasty for love. We want the prize without the prep. We want oranges to match apples; and we ignore the advice God gave us in His Word.

Changing arenas means that we move higher to a heavenly view, where our trust in God regarding marriage is unwavering. This is what makes a person like a tree planted by the waters. It’s when your confidence is in God’s provision, and you just know that He’s going to do what He promised.

It may seem a far distance from where you’re standing today, and if you were to look at switching lanes on your own…forget about it. Thank God that Jesus Christ is the head of our lives! He’s Lord! He knows where we’re supposed to be, when we’re supposed to be there, and how to get us there. We need to relinquish the steering wheel altogether and let perseverance finish its work. The way to do this is to press into the Holy Spirit that indwells us. John 16:13 tells us that he will guide us through Christ and tell us exactly what we need to know, so that we can tap into God’s treasures. Trust that God’s goodness never runs dry, and get yourself pumped for a change of scenery. The Holy Spirit will help you move up supernaturally, so that you begin to see all the wonderful things God has laid up for you.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Jewels of Truth”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

March 6, 2017
What’s Wrong with This Picture?

Matthew 5:43-45 (NLT)
“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’[a] and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies![b] Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.”

Jesus Christ was a paradigm shifter to say the least. He started his statement in Matthew 5:43 with “you have heard…” This allows us to know that the popular teaching during the time he came on the scene was completely contradictory to the knowledge and wisdom that he laid out. How absolutely mind blowing it must have been for those listening. To think that they had made a pattern of hating their enemies and loving only those who loved them. Jesus Christ blazed a new trail by speaking of a higher, more enlightened, and spiritually intelligent way of handling enemies. He said love them, then you’ll draw a line in the sand between those that are representing God’s love and those that are not.

It must have sounded preposterous to those who would absolutely refuse to move away from their old way of thinking and behaving. Not only did he tell them to love their enemies, but he took it a step further. He said pray for them who persecute you! What!!! Make no mistake, Jesus Christ knew exactly the uproar his revolutionary words would cause. He came to shake things up and to set a new, higher standard for living a spiritual life. You can’t do this without knocking down the error first, so that newness has a fresh place to land.

Even though many single sisters are Christians, and have been for years, they still cling to old paradigms or patterns; some of which Jesus Christ has specifically told us to kick to the curb. We’re still complaining about how hard good men are to find, when we know from God’s Word that they are the ones to do the finding. We’re playing around with the temptations that dating often leads to, when God has called us to use our time as singles to tighten our relationship with Him. Patterns like these must be eradicated if we’re to step into a greater level of love, and thereby draw out a greater love from the one who will ultimately be our partner in life.

Jesus Christ told us that our Heavenly Father rains down blessings on both the just and the unjust. In your mind, you might see yourself as a woman that is living right; on the other hand, you see a woman that isn’t nearly as dedicated to the faith as you are, and she’s engaged to be married. “What’s wrong with this picture?” you ask yourself. Stuff like this may have you feeling a little like those who heard the message of love that Jesus taught in Matthew 5:43-45.

The truth is that God doesn’t love the saved person more than He loves the unsaved person. He loves all of us, which is why Jesus instructed us to love and pray for our enemies. So we can’t focus on some of the things that we see, but don’t quite understand.

Your focus must rest in the reality that God has specifically called you out from among the world. This means that there are some things that you are required to do in order to fulfill your destiny in Christ. You can never underestimate God’s allegiance to see you become all that He has called you to be. You may see others enjoying the blessings that you desire for yourself, but you cannot be deterred. God is perfecting something in you. James 1:4 (NIV) encourages us, “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Always remember that Jesus Christ has called us to a higher, more enlightened, spiritually intelligent way of life. Not to make us better than anyone else, but he has called us to light the path for those who have not yet beheld his glory in the way that we have. Your future husband will be all that you desire and more, but he will need you to be strong in ways that you don’t yet realize. Trust that God is grooming you to receive this tremendous blessing. Help Him to knock down those old paradigms of error that have gotten in your way. Represent God’s love always, and trust that the Holy Spirit will prepare you for what is to come as you do.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“What’s Wrong with This Picture?”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

February 27, 2017
The Boomerang Effect

Very soon, the one day of the year that we have chosen to supercharge love and put it on blast will be upon us. For some people, it is a very happy day, and for others…not so much. If it is a day that makes your blues even bluer, I have a suggestion. Why not let it be a day where you bask even more in God’s love and let the expectation of meeting someone new take your faith to a whole other level! This is absolutely doable, and it is something that single Christians should embrace. On the one hand, yep, the holiday can get super worldly and commercialized to the hilt; but on the other hand, as Christians we walk by faith and not by sight, so we can always see the light of Christ where others may not.

All the beauty that any of us can ever offer stems from the Lily of the Valley, that bright and morning star, Jesus Christ! Because of him, we are able to offer our love to others, and have the greatest expectation that this love we offer will have a positive impact, and that it will return to us all the hope and joy in which it was given. Without the love of Christ, there really isn’t ever anything to celebrate; but with him, we have the fullness of joy.

We are planted in this world, and we grow up with thorns all around us, but we have to be so careful that our blossoms are colorful, full, and fragrant with the sweet aroma of Christ. We can’t be dry and rough to the touch, and sometimes the bitterness of a dry patch of loneliness will do this to a woman’s heart. Instead of focusing on Christ, and allowing his love to water her soul, she might focus only on the hurt and disappointment of the past; or she might allow doubt to spring up in her heart. She might convince herself that God is not going to bless her with a wonderful partner. These kinds of thoughts and feelings keep us from abiding in the love of Christ the way that he desires.

There’s something about the prospect of a new relationship on the horizon that can suddenly make a person feel brand new. God designed us in such a way that when we draw near to the person of our affection, we get all giddy inside as the butterflies begin to flutter in our bellies. This is how Jesus Christ feels about us. We bring to him this level of anticipation and adoration, and this is one of the reasons why God calls us the bride of Christ. In Song of Solomon 2:11-13 (NLT), we can see his heart. It says, “Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. 12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. 13 The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling!”

You might not live in an area where the winters are brutal, but I have a little experience in that area. Let me tell you that when winter is over, and the flowers begin to spring up, many people are very thankful that the brutal cold air and harsh conditions have passed. The introduction of spring wakes up your body in an indescribable way, and you feel a tinge of something invigorating happening. A person that is pessimistic or sad might immediately squash that tinge of hopefulness and tell themselves that nothing is going to be different, but that isn’t how a Christian should respond. Jesus Christ wants us to come alive to him and the tremendous hope that he brings to our lives in every season—with every day that goes by.

In Song of Solomon 2:11-13, we have a taste of the affection of Christ towards his bride, the church. The newness and humility of this expression can’t be lost on us. We train our minds how to think and our emotions how to feel. Heavenly Father wants us to allow the indwelling Holy Spirit to help us to retrain ourselves with the mind and heart of Christ, so that we are eager for him and all that he brings. We should breathe in his wonder, and exhale the most earnest and dear affection for him.

The Apostle Paul affirms in Acts 17:28(NKJV), “for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’” The meaning and fulfillment that we get out of life comes from knowing that we belong to the Father, and from matching our Lord’s example. Jesus Christ is not pessimistic and unhopeful, and we shouldn’t be either. Our groove should be in step with his, because he is always in rhythm with the Will of the Father.

The holidays, the change of seasons, both are reminders that nothing harsh last for long, and life is truly worth celebrating. We may not feel giddy inside about a new person, but we certainly ought to feel that way about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We should choose to use the approaching day of love to celebrate our love for God in Christ through the Holy Spirit. We should also expect that as we do, at some point it’s going to boomerang back to us from a most endearing man of God. ■

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Written by writers of FACM for FindingChristianMan.com copyright © 2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God in Jesus Christ.

February 6, 2017
“Anger Labels You A Fool”

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT)
“Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”

Relationships can be very delicate, particularly while they are in the beginning stages. It is a time when you want the person of your affection to see you in the most positive light. Many of us think very highly of ourselves. We think we’ve got it all figured out, and therefore, we want the significant person in our lives to believe this as well. The truth is that there are a great many things we haven’t figured out. There is a side to us that we haven’t yet explored.

One of the reasons why relationships blow up is because many of us sabotage them through our own fears, and our issues with self-control and lack of trust. We explode in ways that we never imagined we would. It could be because we are insecure or jealous. It could also be because we feel trapped, but we haven’t yet admitted it to ourselves. It could be any one of several internal factors that can cause us to work against ourselves in a relationship. This is why we desperately need the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It is also why we should know ourselves well enough to be able to confront and admit our trouble spots.

The optimum situation for any two people who come together in a relationship is for them to have allowed themselves the time to mature in Christ. They need to know a bit about their strengths and weaknesses. God instructs us to be wise. Being wise is allowing God’s Word to instruct us. This is particularly true for the areas where we’re not as strong as we’d like to be or should be.

Wisdom dictates that we become very careful observers of ourselves. In a conversation or interaction, most of us can sense when a potential for something to strike our chords the wrong way is mounting. You can feel the reaction boiling up within you. The worse thing in the world is to allow yourself to explode in anger. God warns us in Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT), “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.”

A fool is a person that acts unwisely, and uncontrolled anger makes a fool out of us. It undermines our authority in Christ, and causes us to move in reverse rather than forwardly. It can ruin a relationship and be very devastating to our lives. God’s wisdom will preserve us and help us to make sound decisions and choices. Proverbs 2:10-15 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Lady Wisdom will be your close friend, and Brother Knowledge your pleasant companion. Good Sense will scout ahead for danger, Insight will keep an eye out for you. They’ll keep you from making wrong turns,”. As we walk in the Spirit, this is what the discipline of Godliness will do for us. So be sure to pray that God helps you to work the fruit of self-control deep in your soul. Then, when you’re with the person you will ultimately marry, you can have confidence in your ability through Christ to strengthen and preserve your relationship.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

““Anger Labels You A Fool””, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

January 29, 2017
Put Your Words on A Diet

John 1:1 tells us that in the beginning was the Word of God, and we know from Genesis that Heavenly Father literally spoke things into existence. This gives us some indication of how incredibly potent words can be. Our mouths are no play thing, for with them confessions are made. When we first came to Christ, God accepted us based on the earnest confession of our mouths. We had to ask for forgiveness and confess Jesus Christ as the Lord of our lives before we could be saved from a life of sin and death. The words we spoke had eternal consequences. That’s mind blowing! The light was switched on in our consciousness as our spirits were born-again and awakened to newness. All of this occurred by speaking forth words from the most earnest place in our hearts. There can be no doubt that God placed an incredible power in our tongues, and it is our responsibility to ensure that the quality and the quantity of our words is just right.

Proverbs 18:20 (NLT) tells us, “Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.” There is so much power in the words we choose, and even more so in how we use them. When it comes to the life we have before us, some of us are dissatisfied. And it is either that we haven’t used enough of the right words, or we’ve used too many of the wrong ones. Many people have a problem with accepting this level of accountability, but that has no bearing whatsoever on the truth of this. Our confessions, the words we speak, have tremendous impact on not only the life we have, but they lay the ground work for the future to come.

Proverbs 18:21 affirms that death and life are in the power of the tongue. When you allow yourself to take in the full breath of this truth, you begin to truly understand what it is to be a spiritual being. God has equipped us through our physicality and spirituality with an instrument of power. We can actually create an internal blueprint of intangible, intellectual reasoning called thoughts. We conjure up emotions to support those thoughts, and then through the physical manipulation of our vocal chords, we deliver tangible evidence of our thoughts externally through the apparatus of our tongues. That’s absolutely amazing! Let no one tell you differently, we were magnificently created and designed by The Almighty.

So now we have before us the elements of a worthy and intelligent question. It is this, when it comes to our quests to be married, could it be that our thoughts and words have given our faith indigestion?

If this is the case, then the only logical choice is to put our words on a diet. We need to cut out the saltiness and season them wisely, because God’s Word tells us that wise words satisfy like a good meal.

This feeling of being satisfied with the fullness of life is the destiny of every single Christian woman that desires to be married. It is also the privilege and testimony of their faith to use their words, feelings, and deeds to position themselves to reap the harvest of a good husband.

As Christians, our mouths should be used to uplift and inspire, but there are times when an untamed tongue will win. James 3:5 (NLT) tells us, “So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6; And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.” Don’t make this a habit pattern. It is extremely vital to understand that in a relationship or marriage, if you’re not careful, using your tongue in a hurtful manner is like quick sand – it will sink any relationship. Even when you don’t mean to say them, once those hurtful words are out there, you can’t take them back. They are like boomerangs that will ultimately come around to swipe you.

Sometimes we forget the impact of what we say and how easily offensive we can be with our words. Be careful of what and how you say things, because words can cut deeper than any weapon. Peter 3:10 (NLT) warns, “For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”” Try the art of minimization, and let it act as your vocal filter. You’ll be amazed in the strides you make by curtailing your words, and choosing to speak life, or say nothing at all.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Put Your Words on A Diet”, written by FACM for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

January 23, 2017
Always on Top and Never at the Bottom

Deuteronomy 28:12-13(NLT)

“The LORD will send rain at the proper time from his rich treasury in the heavens and will bless all the work you do. You will lend to many nations, but you will never need to borrow from them. 14 If you listen to these commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today, and if you carefully obey them, the LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you will always be on top and never at the bottom.”

When we are in the process of ‘going through’, it can get so bad sometimes that it feels as if we’re sinking into a bottomless pit. You know that you should be declaring that you are more than a conqueror in every situation—that God has made you the head and not the tail, but the tribulations seem insurmountable; and you can’t seem to squeeze that gusto positivity through the cracks of your circumstances. Truth be told, these are the moments that make us, because when you’re out there with your back against the wall, God is the only one that can rescue you. He’s the one holding you up.

Sometimes, the breakthrough that we really need is the one where our faith pierces through our circumstances with a vengeance and we hang on to it like a dog with a bone. We just have to flat out trust that Heavenly Father has our backs, because if we trust Him, He will demolish the negativity that is robbing us of peace and happiness. This is what His Word tells us time and time again.

Hebrews 2:16-18The Message (MSG) assures us of the care and love that Jesus Christ has for us, and it solidifies that he is helping us even when it doesn’t seem like it. This passages says, “16-18 It’s obvious, of course, that he didn’t go to all this trouble for angels. It was for people like us, children of Abraham. That’s why he had to enter into every detail of human life. Then, when he came before God as high priest to get rid of the people’s sins, he would have already experienced it all himself—all the pain, all the testing—and would be able to help where help was needed.”

Jesus Christ knows everything that we’re going through down here, because he endured it all and his faith was tested by the enemy just as ours is. He’s our high priest, and he is continually making intercession for us. So, we can rest assured that Heavenly Father will keep His promises to bless all that we do and to make our way prosperous, but we must do our parts as well.

Deuteronomy 28:12-13(NLT) tells us to obey the Lord, and to follow His Word carefully. This means that we don’t skimp when it comes to the things of God, but that we give Him our all. Whether we’re struggling with addictions, can’t seem to pray our way through, dealing with financial lack, or we’re holding on to a relationship that isn’t helping us to be our best. Whatever the case may be, in whatever shape we’re in, God wants us to give ourselves completely over to Him. It’s the intent of our hearts to surrender, and the desire to please and praise Him; that’s what causes the tides to turn. If we’ll be persistent in coming to God with this kind of mind-and-heart-set, He’ll make sure that we’ll always be on top and never at the bottom.

Isaiah 41:13(NLT), “For I hold you by your right hand – I, the Lord our God. And I say to you, Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Written by FACM for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

January 9, 2017
“Was That Really You Lord?”

“Was that really You Lord?” is one of those questions that I believe God is very use to His kids asking Him. This is especially true after we’ve made a decision that we thought was on point with the Lord, but the results speak another story entirely. Parents can identify with this. Your child does something that is totally off the wall, and ends up making a huge mess of things. After being confronted they immediately give you the line, “but I thought you said I could!!!” This is the go-to they use to get themselves off the hook.

Authority is key. The word of the one on whose authority we depend is bond. This is the rack we hang our hats on. Parents are the authority figures for their children. Sometimes, our children can try and play the sneaky card. They do things of which they know the parent would not approve, and will try to manipulate their parent’s authority by saying they believed they received permission, when permission was never given. No new tricks under the sun; this one is classic.

Instinctively we know that if permission is given, the outcome is not entirely one in which we will bear total responsibility. Part of the outcome can be attributed to the one in authority; the one on whose permission we rested our foray into the unknown. The reasoning behind this is: “It’s not totally my fault if I took a risk, and it didn’t pan out. I did it because I received permission, and I equated permission from my authority figure to the promise of a safe and positive outcome.” This is the kind of mentality we bring into our relationship with God at times.

Hebrews 4:11-13(NLT) says, “11 Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.

12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

As a people who really and truly love God, we need to know that He has provided a way for us enter into rest. Rest is a state of being where there isn’t any chaos; there’s no indifference or struggle. There is a peace that comes with the rest that God provides. This is His goal for us. He tells us that we can’t get to this place of peaceful rest through disobedience. It can only be accessed through obedience.

Heavenly Father goes on to tell us in Hebrew 4:11 that His Word is alive! It’s not asleep, so there can be no ifs, ands, and buts about the doctrine, instructions, and corrections that His Word provides. God’s Word is perfect and definitive. When it comes to the whopper conundrums that we sometimes end up with, make no mistake about it, there are instances when we genuinely believe that we’ve heard from God. We believe that He’s given us a green light to proceed. Then, we end up making one of the biggest mistakes of our lives.

“Was that really you Lord? Didn’t You tell me he was the one? Didn’t You tell me it was okay to marry this man? Why am I now facing this awful situation? I thought You told me that I could proceed and You would make sure that I’d be blessed?” Our Heavenly Father knows the decisions we will make even before we make them. Not only does He know them, but He already has seen the outcome. In truth, when we leap into making decisions, thinking that God has given us the green light and things don’t end up being the absolute best for us, we should then realize a few things. Chief among them is how much we may have compromised ourselves through impatience. We didn’t give ourselves time to really find out God’s agenda for our lives.

The Word of God is sharper than any sword because it cuts through the confusion we enter into when we don’t know what to do or which way to turn. This is why we must study His Word. As we get into God’s Word, we can receive wisdom from other sources as well that will back it up. Sometimes through a close friend, family member or even a co-worker, God can help to zap us into consciousness. Some of us begin to recognize the help, but others of us remain asleep and refuse to wake up about what we’re doing. We have a habit of intentionally avoiding what we know is right because we want something on the double.

Discernment takes wisdom and through wisdom we should know that if we are committed to a life of obedience, God is willing and able to keep our feet from falling in any situation. We are never the worse for being patient. And even when we make the mistake of impatience…when our hearts may get a little bruised from time to time, we’re still in the game of living and learning; and this is always a blessing we should never take for granted.

So always remember that nothing is ever hidden from God’s sight, and everything with Him is uncovered and laid bare before Him. He will not make decisions for us. We can’t ask God to make guarantees that are already provided through obedience to His Word. Hebrews 4:13 tells us that we are the ones that must give account of our actions. He has made it very plain that He doesn’t keep from us the information we need to hear. He’s told us that His Word is alive and active. Therefore, following His Word will always lead us down the right path, and His Word will never lead us astray. So let’s be very real about this one, because it’s never about whether or not He’s spoken to us. It is always about our willingness to have patience, study, listen, and obey.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Was That Really You Lord?”, written by FACM. FindingChristian Man.com©2017. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

January 3, 2017
Refresh for Your Marriage Resolution

Praise God and Hallelujah for another year to be the best “YOU” in 2017! This sharing won’t be about making resolutions for the new year, but more so about taking the necessary steps to be renewed in the power of your mind, heart, and spirit, particularly in the area of the marital relationship you desire. As Christians, we owe it to God and ourselves to make the most of every day by trusting and believing God’s promises. 1John 5:4,5 (The Message) says, “Every God-begotten person conquers the world’s ways. The conquering power that brings the world to its knees is our faith. The person who wins out over the world’s ways is simply the one who believes Jesus is the Son of God.” This is good news indeed. So if preparing yourself for matrimony just so happens to be an integral part of your New Year’s resolution, it’s going to be an awesome year for you; and here’s something that will help to make sure that it turns out exactly as you desire.

It’s no secret that patience is a very important virtue, and it must be exercised in our pursuit of a marital relationship; there can be no doubt about this. But it isn’t God’s Will that the virtuous woman of God wait year after year without her physical, emotional, and spiritual needs being met. Marriage is indeed a ministry, one of the most important and profound ministries of all. As a matter of fact, it was the first ministry that God ordained when He gave Adam and Eve to one another and told them to be fruitful and multiply. So God wants you to marry and blissfully so, and He would never withhold such a blessing from you.

1John 5:4 tells us that every child of God receives victory over the world, and this conquering power is our faith. The world wants the woman of God to buy into the fallacy that there are no good Christian men left. The world tells us all the time that we are doomed to be alone unless we commit to do all kinds of foolish things to be attractive or relevant. And then, once we’ve altered ourselves to fit the world’s standard, we are disappointed beyond belief with the results. God’s way is the way of faith! There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If we would put as much effort in building our faith as we do in other things, we’d be so much further along. It’s FAITH that produces results when it is backed up by the authority of Jesus Christ!

What does this mean for you and your commitment to be prepared for marriage in the new year? Well, one of the most effective strategies for overall success is to reduce a big undertaking down to small chewable bites. And so it is with the quest for marriage. A good place to begin is to start with what you know. You know from 1John 5:4 that “The conquering power that brings the world to its knees is our faith.” So it’s essential that you begin to examine ways in which you can build your faith in the area where you are looking to achieve results.

And as you examine ways to build your faith, you want to remove the things that have blocked you from building it in the past. I know so many sisters who can’t get out of their own way. They have a certain set of standards, and they are unyielding when it comes to finding a man who will fit them. Common sense tells us that if you don’t like the results you’re getting, then you cannot keep doing things the same way. Something has to change. With most of us, these changes must take place inwardly. Once we change inwardly, our outward circumstances will follow suit.

When it comes to men, it’s good to have standards, but we also have to trust God. And sometimes our standards limit us from aligning ourselves with God’s standard. So we have to be be careful about this. Think about it, why would any woman of God believe that God would not bless her exceeding abundantly above what she is praying to receive? He knows what’s best for us. He knows what we need. So we have to trust Him. We have to remove these limiting beliefs from our minds and hearts, and yield our standard for His, because God’s standard is based solely upon His love. When everything is said and done, God wants our hearts to be broad and big enough that we can love all types of people. And this is something that we have to consider when we go before His throne.

Instead of clinging so tightly to your assumptions about what you need or don’t need, make some promises to yourself and to God that you will do more than what you’ve been doing, and do less of what didn’t work in the past. This is the best way to refresh yourself in feelings of confidence and thankfulness for what lies ahead.

It’s time out for what didn’t work yesterday, last week, and especially years gone by. Get your spiritual self in gear and let the love of God be in full effect. Commit to read and study God’s Word. Begin to dedicate yourself to mustard seed acts of faith. And always remember that much can be done with a little, and you’ll get the most out of this year as you grow in God’s love and strength.
Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“Refresh for Your Marriage Resolution” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man ©2016. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

December 26, 2016
“It’s Just So Unfair!”

James 3:17 (NLT)
“17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.”

“I just can’t go to another wedding! My last single girlfriend just snagged a good man, and I don’t understand it. She hasn’t been on this Christian journey as long as I have, and I don’t think she’s as dedicated as I am. To make matters worse, she’s on her second go around, and I’ve never had a ring on my finger! It just doesn’t seem fair. Where am I going wrong?” This summarizes many of the emails we receive from Sisters that are so frustrated with being single. They don’t understand why things are not working out for them.

God provides for us a sure Word, a Word that we can count on no matter what, because God’s Word will never fail or falter. We can stand upon it and it will never let us down. In James 3:17, He tells us that His wisdom is pure. It is unadulterated. So when we see things that look to us to be unfair, we can rest assured that they may look that way, but God’s way is perfect.

It is when we allow ourselves to indulge this sense that we are being wronged or unfairly treated in life that we make huge errors. The first mistake is forgetting that God’s wisdom is unfailing, and the second is neglecting that it does not show favoritism. Once the mistakes of this train of thought gets steam by our emotional responses, it then has the power to affect our outcomes.

God has told us to renew our minds for a reason, and one of those reasons is because the way we think plays a huge role in the amount of peace, abundance, and fulfillment we experience in life. Without putting ourselves in check, we begin to move in reverse and attract the exact opposite of the blessings we desire.

The blessing of marriage is a spiritually forward, progressive, and higher level reality. Therefore, it stands to reason that it will require a spiritually forward, progressive, and higher level mentality and emotionality to build capacity for it. We can’t get there by indulging negativity and letting bottom feeding thoughts and emotions drag us beneath the realm of Godliness. You can only get a higher functioning mind-and-heart set from trusting, knowing, and feeding upon God’s Word.

James 1:5 (NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” The same energy that we waste by thinking and reacting to doubt, we can reroute to having faith in the generosity of God. Transitioning from single to married takes decisive steps, just like any other thing that we seek to do in life. If you’re doing something that you shouldn’t be doing, or you’re not doing what you should be doing, ask our generous God if you can’t figure it out. He won’t be mad about it. He’ll tell you exactly what you need to do in order to receive the blessing you so earnestly desire. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“It’s Just So Unfair!”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2016. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

December 19, 2016
When His Love Is No Longer There

Breaking up with a person that you’ve loved very deeply can be a difficult thing to bear, and some people encounter serious blows to their self-esteem as a result of it. This is especially true when the person in your life makes you believe that he or she is leaving because you’re not good enough for them. When I hear stories like this, it’s almost like hearing the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. I know teachers will make this mistake as they erase away errors, but it doesn’t make hearing it any better. The first thing that pops in my mind is the absurdity of someone actually thinking and behaving so arrogantly, and then I get agitated by the unmitigated gall of anyone that could do this to another person. The truth is that when everything is said and done, we can’t be mad about it. If you give someone your best, and they show you time and time again that they don’t know how to appreciate it, who’s to blame…them or you?

I’m reminded of a situation of someone that held on to a relationship for many years, and a lot of the times she was not treated well at all. The man was very handsome, and she didn’t think much of her own looks. She felt almost privileged to be out with him. It wasn’t until she actually overheard him speaking on the phone to a new interest that it finally sunk in. She had settled for crumbs, and realized that she had been in denial about how bad things were for a very long time. This man belittled her to an unspeakable level, and it took hearing the two of them laughing and conversing at her expense for her to wake up.

The Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT) “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” The image of ourselves that we see today is incomplete. It will not be totally perfected until Christ returns, but this image can and should become clearer the more we put on the mind and heart of Christ. The thing is, none of us should shy away from looking at the mirror life holds up for us. We can learn from it.

When a person tries to build a relationship with someone who doesn’t appreciate and honor them, as hard as it is to hear, the person that they’ve chosen will hold up this mirror for them. The reflection is going to be a picture of how they really feel about themselves. It is easy to play the blame game when this happens, but it doesn’t get us anywhere. The reflection tells us that it is time to wrestle with the real issue.

If somewhere deep in your soul you don’t feel good enough, it is a terrible feeling, one that will cause many other feelings of insecurity and doubt to spring up. Jesus Christ will help us to deal with the root of why we feel poorly about ourselves, and he’ll heal us in ways that we can’t possibly know, but it isn’t until we’re ready to deal honestly with this issue that we can set things in order and move forward with a new found strength and confidence.

So it stands to reason that if we want from another person the kind of love we feel we deserve, we must first have it anchored in our souls for God in Christ, and then for ourselves. 2Timothy 1:7 (NLT) tells us, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” God hasn’t given us a spirit of insecurity, doubt, self-loathing, and self-deprivation. He’s given us a spirit of power, love and soundness. Colossians 2:10 assures us, “So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” No good thing has God withheld from us. We are power packed and oozing over with good stuff. If we believe anything to the contrary of this, we are believing something that isn’t true.

If we keep our eyes focused on the imperfection we assume we have, and if we refuse to allow the Spirit to help us release things that hold us back, then we might continue to allow others to rob us of the power, love, and soundness that God has given us. This will continue a negative cycle, and it doesn’t have to be that way. We cannot control how others see us, but we can certainly control how we respond to their perception of who we are.

Many of us have the ability to keep on loving even when the love from the other person is no longer there. This is admirable, but it should be love from a distance. In other words, we should only want to be in a relationship with the person that God has ordained to be our partner. This is a person that will help us to love ourselves in a healthy way. So some of us need to change the lens from which we view ourselves, and we also need to change the focus of our prayers. They should be centered around what we need to do and see so that we can begin to love ourselves in the Spirit of Christ, and thereby begin to attract all the goodness that God has in store for us. ■

“When His Love is No Longer There!” written for FACM ©2016. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

December 12, 2016