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Romance Cannot Replace the Truth

Walking almost a mile in the snow, Mel’s feet were frozen stiff, and she thought to herself more than once, “I can’t feel my toes anymore!” She scolded herself for wearing her cute boots instead of the ones Michael had recommended for snowy weather. He was trekking almost twenty feet ahead of her, but Mel was too tired and cold to be angry that Michael had left her behind. He, on the other hand, was still fuming and giving her a serious silent treatment. The airport was small, and there wasn’t much in the way of businesses nearby, that’s why Michael had stressed the need to double-check their reservations. Not a fan of cold weather, Mel wasn’t gung ho about the trip in the first place, but she honestly thought she had made the reservations. As it turned out, she didn’t, and they were stranded at the airport on the busiest day of the year.

Michael’s favorite cousin was getting married in a small town in upstate New York, and because he refused to wait any longer, they ended up walking to the nearest car rental office. The entire way, Michael didn’t say a word to her, not even when they finally got a rental and made it to the hotel. He warmed up and spoke two or three words to her once they were settled in a bit, but all Mel could think about was that long, cold mile. Michael didn’t turn his head once to see if she was okay, and it broke her heart.

They’d been together a little over six months. Things were progressing beautifully, and Mel had begun to imagine what being ‘Mrs. Melody Bryant’ would be like. Michael is a firefighter. He’s very attractive, and up until their trip together, he had totally swept Mel off her feet. They met after his move from Maryland to Atlanta, and they both threw out the welcome mat and made space for each other to comfortably fit into their individual lives. They wanted to be open to each other because they wanted to be together. Michael had met Mel’s mother, stepfather, and two sisters, and the family was ecstatic that they were a couple.

Their faces were all Mel thought about as she contemplated how to handle the incredible hurt and disappointment she was now feeling. On so many occasions, Michael’s kindness had left her speechless, but he wasn’t who she thought he was, and nothing would ever be the same. She left before his cousin’s wedding, and for the next few weeks, she did everything she could to disconnect from Michael.

Jesus Christ teaches us in John 10:10(ESV), “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Jesus Christ wants us to know that we have an enemy, and he wants to steal and destroy our blessings, and he wants to kill and destroy us. This may sound ominous and scary to some, but regardless of how it sounds, it is the truth. We must be spiritually prepared to stand back to back with our partner, both man and woman must be fully equipped with the spiritual armor God provides. It’s not a game, it’s serious business. We have a spiritual enemy, and human weapons will not cut it when it comes to battling evil.

We have such difficulty in relationships because when we get into them, many of us fail to build them on a foundation of God’s strength and power. We do not place Jesus Christ in his rightful position as the head of all our unions, and this is a big mistake. Ephesians 1:22(NLT) says, “God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church.” There is no equal in all eternity to the power and authority that God has given His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We desperately need this power in our relationships. And to be clear, we need this power to recognize the person God sends.

The disappointment and pain we experience when a relationship is derailed can send us into emotional shock. We don’t know how to handle it because our faith in God isn’t where it needs to be. Someone has done something to undermine our confidence and greatly diminish our clarity. We no longer have what we thought we did, and this can be emotionally overwhelming.

Many women have been in Mel’s position and handled the situation quite differently. Some of them might have made excuses for Michael’s behavior and said, “It’s been a long day, and he’s just tired and upset. He’ll get over it.” Others would have given Michael a piece of their minds. They would have met his attitude with an even saucier one. With Mel, there was something deeper going on. Her biological father was an alcoholic whose angry tirades made their lives horrible when she was a child. She remembered the look on his face when he was about to blow, and Michael’s anger gave her a glimpse of that.

After weeks of him trying to connect with her, Mel finally agreed to meet Michael. It was on a Saturday afternoon, and she arrived at the coffee shop intentionally early, so she’d have an opportunity to settle herself before he arrived. Mel was more nervous and emotional than she could remember, and the flipflopping in her belly had been non-stop for the last two days. Michael, the sweetest man she thought she had ever known had revealed a mean streak. It was biting and vengeful, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was only the tip of an iceberg. She dreaded the thought of discovering that he had only been pretending over the last several months and that allowing him in her life had been a big mistake.

Significant relationships have a tremendous impact on our lives. The wrong person can cause more damage than we can imagine, and they can be used to undermine our relationship with God. Causing a wedge between us and our faith in God is the enemy’s aim, and if we allow an opening, he will weaponize the people we love and use them against us. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to not allow this opening for enemy attack. We can be preemptive by letting the Spirit guide us according to God’s Will. Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” As women, we must understand with crystal clarity that romance cannot replace the truth. With any significant relationship, we must pray continually for wisdom and good judgement, and when the Spirit reveals the truth, we must have the courage to accept it.

Sometimes, we need to be alone with God and ourselves only, and we have to do this for a while in order to come to a place of clarity, and it’s a kind of clarity that only the Holy Spirit can give. This is the gift Mel gave to herself. It was one of the most challenging things she had ever done, because she wanted Michael in her life, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to let him go.

He walked into the coffee shop, and the sound of his greeting was calm and warm, and she thought she’d melt, but she refused to betray herself in that moment. Mel was prayed up, and her inner pleas were for the Lord to strengthen her and give her the right words to say. He did. After an hour or so of easing in, they talked about that night, when she left him before his cousin’s wedding. Until that moment, she had not realized how deeply it hurt him. They had both punished each other, and only the Lord Jesus Christ could help them heal and grow in His love.

Significant relationships that can potentially lead to marriage are filled with bliss, but they can also reveal characteristics in the other person that are immature, toxic, and very challenging to deal with. Can we successfully navigate through these? Absolutely, but not without Jesus Christ. God has a plan for our marital partnership, and He will send the right person. The very best scenario is to pray and ask the Lord to grow you up in Christ before you meet him, so that you can be spiritually prepared to faith your way through any obstacles.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Romance Cannot Replace the Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 4, 2023
Our Need for Companionship

One of my co-workers is a born-again believer, and he’s 37, single, attractive, and financially secure. I was being a bit brazen one day and asked him if he ever wanted to get married. He answered, “Yes, when I find the right one.” I thought to myself, “Isn’t that what most single men say?” I have no doubt that he was being sincere, but I must admit that this response and attitude of many single men still baffles me. What’s the criteria they’re holding for “the right one”? Is it based on the standards that God has set in His Word, or is it based on a physical attraction that immediately sparks a response of his flesh? Is he looking for both those things or is he blinded by a refusal to be humble and allow God to direct this area of his life?

He may not have given much thought to how he defines “the right one”, but as a woman wanting to partner, you must be keenly interested in why he thinks he hasn’t met her. We shouldn’t be under any delusions about their pickiness here. Men need companionship as much as women. They are innately aware that they need the nurturing of women to live the more than abundantly life that Jesus Christ made available. If it were available for them to have this level of living without women, Adam would never have needed Eve, but the reality is that Adam did need Eve. And men do need women. This is the Will of God.

Genesis 2:20(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” God’s brilliance and the perfection of provision dictated that Adam needed a helper, and part of Adam’s responsibility would be to care for her as well. Nothing about the way God set this up has changed. In Genesis 2:24(NLT), God said “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Whether we accept it or not, this is the Will of God concerning the marriage of a man and woman, and His blessing hinges on the condition that His Word is honored and respected.

Of course, every man and woman have the free-will choice to decide the person that they will marry, but if we ask God, He will send the person that HE has ordained to be just right for us. However, the reality is that most of us don’t ask Him, and we don’t extend an invitation for Him to be Lord over this aspect of our lives. God will not interfere with our relationship decisions without an invitation from us. He will never overstep our free-will choice. We get to decide if we want and will follow His guidance. History has proven how devastating the results can be in marriage when a couple doesn’t invite God into their unions. They fail to submit to His leadership through the Lord Jesus Christ, and the results of this is catastrophic.

An excuse to be selfish
The issue is not about a man finding the right one. The issue is whether he will recognize the woman God sends. For him to recognize her, his eyes must be open. For his eyes to be open, he should be seeking the Lord about it. Jesus Christ said in Luke 11:9-10(NLT), “9 And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” Our Heavenly Father gives good and perfect gifts, and He knows exactly how to provide for us. It is necessary that we humble ourselves in honor of His perfection, brilliance, and power, and seek Him for ALL things.

Many physically mature men have never been married. They are financially stable, intelligent, affable, and have great relationships. They are perfectly able to share their lives, generosity, loyalty, and love with a woman in the Spirit of Christ, but they refuse to do this. An expanding bank balance, a satisfactory level of success, a comfortable lifestyle, and a fear that someone might jeopardize these things makes many men lock- on to selfishness with a death grip.

God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to His Will and to the lives of others. Sadly, many men do not view this as their responsibility to Christ. Instead of being committed to obedience and faith in God, they choose selfishness as a device to appease their insecurities about money and preserve their way of life. They use their singleness to shield themselves from the commitment of truly sharing their lives with a woman, and they often see their single status as a license to try on several women like new pairs of shoes.

This is a form of exploitation, and it is in no way Godly. As women of faith, we need to see it coming a mile away. We should not yield to it, neither should we attempt to do it ourselves. There’s a right way to find the right fit, and it is to seek God and make sure our actions are guided by Him.

An excuse to play around
1Corinthians 7:32-35(NLT) gives us wisdom for understanding God’s Will. It says, “32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

The wisdom of this passage teaches us God’s standard for marital conduct. It teaches us that marriage is a gift. It’s God’s way of providing companionship but it is also a way of keeping us from sexual immorality, because that stuff just wrecks the lives of people. It takes them further away from God rather than closer to Him and His blessings. Our Heavenly Father made it clear in 1Corinthians 7:32-35 that the only acceptable reason a man would remain single is that God has ordained him for the purpose of being totally sold out to ministry. Women are just as much God’s treasures as men, and neither a man nor a woman should ever use their single status as an excuse to play around with God’s treasures.

Jesus Christ commanded us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the only acceptable way to love God. Well, how do we accomplish it? 1John 5:3(NLT) declares, “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” Our need and desire for companionship must never be above our allegiance to honor God and do what He says.

The right one for all of us is forever and always Jesus Christ. He’s the one to give us marital unity and longevity, and our commitment to honor him allows us to walk in his love, strength, and power. We have made relationships way more complicated than God ever intended. We can’t navigate this rocky terrain without His help. We desperately need His guidance, so we should never try to take things into our own hands by leaning on our own understanding. That’s not a winning strategy. 1John 5:4 tells us that every person in life will defeat the plots and tricks of evil, and we will do this, not by selfishness or a need to control, but by the victory that is achieved through our faith in God. So, if a man is truly waiting to find the right one, he should be seeking God’s guidance. Most importantly, he should never allow his single status to be a detriment to any woman’s life or to his own with relationship with God and standing in Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Our Need for Companionship”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 27, 2023
Daily Maintenance Is Required

Psalm 37:4(NKJV)
“Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This verse signals us to delight in our Lord but many believers don’t take him up on it. We don’t because too many of us get disappointed and let down if we think God takes too long to bless us with what we believe we deserve.”

In 1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT), the Apostle Paul told the believers in Thessalonica, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” Paul understood firsthand about the challenges that were facing those who followed Christ, and the commandment to them is to believers living today as well. Although most of us don’t face death on a daily basis as the believers did in biblical days, we still face some really tough challenges in our day and time. One of them is being single in what seems like a sea of men that have no interest in marriage whatsoever.

Philippians 2:3 tells us not to do anything out of rivalry or conceit, instead we are to be humble and put the benefit of others over ourselves. How many of us have done this or have the attitude of humility and selflessness that this verse conveys? Most of us know a single person that has a heart to be married, and they’ve been praying to God for the opportunity for a while. Although they may not express it to us, there are scars from enduring one relationship disappointment after the other. The loneliness of being single longer than you’d like can press up against your faith at times. It can be a struggle to remain encouraged, especially when it feels as though you’re not making progress, and no one seems to understand your pain.

As believers, we have a responsibility to encourage others. Whether we are single or married, those that are spiritually mature should encourage those that are endeavoring to increase their believing towards marriage. Again, sometimes being single is not an easy road. Hearing positive and uplifting encouragement to fight the good fight of faith is a gift to single individuals struggling to stay the course.

If you’re a single person, you might be thinking, “I need encouragement myself.” The answer to this is to give what you desire to receive. This kind of giving and unselfish attitude is what God expects from each of us. It’s how we show His love to others, and we should make it a priority to do this daily.

There are different kinds of love, and romantic or eros love is what many singles crave. This kind of love comes from physical attraction. It’s the sensual intimacy that a husband and wife share and initially it is expressed through romance. Although this kind of love is meaningful to a marriage, it is not enough to sustain and maintain a marital union. We must be extremely clear about this. God’s love is agape love, and His love is the one on which all other kinds of love must hinge.

God’s divine love is the kind of love that He has for all of us, and He requires us to have it for Him. We have been empowered by Jesus Christ to love God the way He wants. Romans 5:5(NLT) says, “And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” The Holy Spirit abides within us and he fills our hearts with God’s love. We are full to running over, and the question for us is whether we’re pouring out to others what God has poured into us.

There is no doubt that if we are saved and Holy Spirit filled through Jesus Christ, we have God’s love in us. So, we have the ability and capacity to give it away, and this is what God expects. Many of us want to jump right into eros love, because it tickles the flesh, but that is not the way of a spiritually mature believer, and we must be spiritually mature to partner in marriage. As men and women that aspire to be all that God has called us to be, we should develop a daily maintenance plan for our souls. We should continually and freely extend to others what has so freely been extended to us through Jesus Christ.

If we keep holding on to the love of God within, and we neglect to share it abundantly, we are missing opportunities to lay up treasures. We’re not being the kind of blessing that we can and should be. Let’s not do this. Real love is agape love. It’s God’s love that He has placed within His kids through His Holy Spirit. We need to learn more about the nature of God’s love, so that we continuously put it on in our hearts and minds.

All of us should want a spouse that loves us through Christ, because this is the only love that has the glue to hold a marriage together. So, lets make spiritual maturity a consistent prayer request, and let’s be diligent to unselfishly and lovingly encourage singles to stay prayerful and never lose faith in God. We need this ourselves, and we are equipped and will be blessed for extending it to others. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Daily Maintenance Is Required”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 20, 2023
God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You

Psalm 84:11(NLT)
“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

So, your boyfriend has told you that he wants to take a break, and you’re looking at him like, “Have you lost your mind?!!!” You’ve been together for two years, invested your affection, time, and resources, and he has decided that it’s not working for him. You want an explanation, right. You want to know why he allowed you to think that everything was hunky dory, and that the possibility of marriage might be somewhere down the road. You want to know why he kept taking everything you offered and never once hinted that it wasn’t enough for him or that he wasn’t happy. This man looked you in the eye and said that he needed to be out of your presence and away from your life, and he can’t even tell you exactly why.

This is hurt, frustration, anger, insecurity, and bewilderment all rolled into one. Added to this is the curiosity about what’s really going on with him. Were you duped and didn’t have a clue? Were you completely unaware of who this man really is? The questions are endless, and most of us will spend an enormous amount of time racking our brains about it. We do this because rejection knocks the wind out of our sails. It batters our self-esteem and makes us insecure about the choices and decisions we make.

When something like this occurs, we might question God and ask Him what in the world happened. We thought this man was a keeper, and we could visualize spending our lives together. We thought things were going to work out and never saw the ask for a break coming. Well, there’s a saying that we shouldn’t cry over spilled milk. The milk is on the floor, no longer drinkable, and crying will not reverse the outcome. We know this on the surface, but we’re emotional creatures. Crying over relationship issues is a common response. However, we must be confident that crying about it isn’t the only response.

We should give ourselves a short window to cry our eyes out over the relationship gone wrong, but we should also put a time limit on those tears. We most move from crying over spilled milk to formulating a plan to elevate ourselves spiritually and increase our faith.

When things don’t go right for our lives, we cry out to the Lord because we know that something is wrong. We seek Him because we’re stressed, and we don’t know how things got out of alignment. In the Old Testament, this is the situation God’s people were in when they began to cry out to Him for help. Their hearts were not with God, but they still went through the motions of worship. He was not pleased, so the release they expected didn’t materialize. God rejected their offerings and worship. He rejected their praise, and in Malachi 2:14-15(NLT), He told the men, “14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. 15 Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.”

The lives of God’s people got away from them because they failed to guard their hearts. This is a powerful lesson for those of us living today. To guard your heart is to make sure your faith in God remains strong. Then unexpected situations of disappointment and heartache will not leave you with the emotional instability of anxiety. You will not allow the impulses of panic and obsession to make you do things you know you shouldn’t do.

Philippians 4:6-7(ESV) states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” To be anxious is to be overwhelmed by fears and insecurities. Anxiety is a refusal to be at peace about situations we can’t control. It can be gut-wrenching and overwhelming, and it also shows us the areas in our lives where we are not allowing God’s love to rule. He tells us not to be anxious. This is a direct commandment. Instead, we are to pray to Him in faith, with thanksgiving.

Faith and gratitude to God is the strategy that He has given us for successful living. And the faith and gratitude that He has outlined in Philippians 4:6-7 is the appropriate response to disappointment, heartbreak, and any other adversity we face. Heavenly Father instructs us to tell Him what our needs are, and to do so with faith and gratitude in our hearts. When we do this, His peace will overcome our anxieties and comfort our hearts and minds.

Relationship mistakes and the outcomes they bring are notoriously hurtful. They can set us back in many ways, but this will not happen if we strive to increase our faith in God. We must place more effort in trusting our Heavenly Father than we do in our feelings and thoughts of abandonment and despair. The root of our heartache and disappointment is a fear that we may not ever receive the kind of relationship we desire. Our Heavenly Father allowed this fear to be exposed so that we can see it for what it is and overcome it. God will not keep a good thing from you. He will help you to grow in His love so that you recognize the blessing He sends, and most importantly, so that you continue to keep your relationship with Him the greatest priority of your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 14, 2023
Turn Your Weariness to Excitement!

Lately, my youngest daughter has been singing a familiar tune around the house. It’s new to her but not to me. It’s an oldie but goodie, and it encourages us not to worry about a thing, because everything is going to be alright. When I asked my daughter how she knew the song, she said her teacher sings it with them at the beginning of their class. “It gets us motivated in the mornings.” She said. Whenever her classmates feel like something isn’t working out, they sing that song to themselves. I thought to myself that if kids that young are learning how to motivate themselves to get beyond the challenges they face, as adults, we have no excuse.

There’s no question about it, life gives us a workout. It can take you to the brink of wanting to give up. Your brain is tired, your body is tired, and your emotions are teetering on breakdown. When you’re at this point, you don’t want to think about anything, and you certainly don’t want to hear that you need to change in some way. You might think, “Lord, if I hear one more person tell me there’s something about myself that needs to change or that I need to change my thoughts, I’m going to scream.” You might know at least a dozen people that have been the same folks they’ve always been. They’ve had annoying and negative qualities ever since you’ve known them. They haven’t changed one bit, yet they seem to be just as blessed as they want to be.

It might seem that God is picking on you, because life just doesn’t want to cooperate when you desperately need it to. Relationship breakups, meeting men that seem nice at first but quickly lose interest and enduring those long stretches of loneliness can take a toll on your self-esteem. You don’t believe you have it in you to keep pushing and pressing, and you don’t want to hear about one more thing you have to change in order to be someone’s wife.

Believe it or not, these are normal responses. Most people don’t like change, and they are not fans of holding themselves up to the scrutiny of higher standards. But this is unavoidable in the Christian walk, because the Christian walk is about growth, and the higher standard is set by the example of Christ. The first thing you must know is that you really can’t compare the journey that God has set for you with someone else’s spiritual journey. You might think that others are not enduring the same frustrations and challenges that you are, but that isn’t true. Life forces everyone to grow whether they want to or not. This is the way God created life to operate, and there isn’t anything that anyone can do to change it, nor should we want to. Anything that doesn’t grow will die. So, if we’re not thriving in Christ, growing to be more like him every day, then we’re on the losing side.

In Romans 12:2(NIV), God tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” It isn’t God’s Word that is making us feel exhausted and disillusioned with life. It is the cares of the world that is doing this to us. Our Heavenly Father warns us not to get boggled down with that stuff. He commands us to renew our minds by changing the way we think. We will never get away from this process. You will never get to a point where you know enough about Christ. And you will never get done with having to deal with some of the discomfort of finding out things about yourself that aren’t pretty and then having to change them. God’s Will for you is to keep learning more about Jesus Christ so you can line up with his example.

Galatians 1:4 tells us that Jesus Christ gave himself for our sins in order to rescue us from this present evil age because this was the Will of our Father. God is cleaning us up because we need to be cleaned up, and we couldn’t possibly do it ourselves. He is preparing us for the treasure we’re slated to receive, and we need to let Him do this. We have to know that it’s going to require us to be flexible and agile, not stiff and hardened against what God is doing in our hearts through His Holy Spirit.

He tells us in Ephesians 4:23 to be made new in the spirit of our minds. This is a process, and it is a ‘reprogramming to God’s Word’ that will run throughout the rest of our lives. God commands us in Ephesians 5:8 to walk as children of light, and He is committed to helping us do this. Our problem is that we don’t believe God is helping us in a way that will yield a beautiful blessing. We call His glorious process of transformation a burden, yet when the world demands that we change to meet its standard, we’ll spend all types of money for a new fix. We have to change our priorities.

God tells us in Galatians 6:9(NIV), “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” The reason that God encourages us not to give up is because many of us are in fact weary in doing good. We want the pleasure without the sacrifice. We must turn our weariness to excitement and faith, because our God is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. If we continue to press, we will receive the treasure.

Don’t look at what others are doing or what they may or may not be going through. They are not you. They don’t have the destiny you have. Keep your eyes stayed on Jesus Christ. They can’t have your prize and you can’t have theirs. What God has for you is indeed for you. Allow Him to condition you. Lean on God and let Him show you what He will do. You may feel as though you’re at the brink of exhaustion in every way but take pleasure in the “YOU” that you are becoming. Your treasure is worth it, and so are you.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Turn Your Weariness to Excitement!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 31, 2023
Not Bothered by the Heat or Worried About the Drought

A couple that met each other in the workplace recently announced their engagement. They’re both in their early 40’s and have been dating a little over a year. After hearing the news, Steven, a colleague and friend, said to me, “I would never get into a serious relationship with anyone I work with!” The firmness in his statement led me to inquire why he felt this way. He replied, “I think it’s just too much pressure and discomfort on one another if something goes wrong, and things don’t end up working out.” I certainly understood where he was coming from, but I was a bit surprised to hear his point of view. He is an optimistic person of faith and has encouraged me and others that with God, all things are possible. I was struck that in the area of relationships, he chose to see the limitations rather than the opportunities.

Jeremiah 17:7-8(NLT), “7 But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. 8 They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.”

Someone asked me, “How do I know that my faith is in God and not in the wrong thing?” Jeremiah 17:7 answers this question beautifully. It tells us that blessings come to those who trust in God, and it also tells us that trusting in God means that we have made HIM our hope and confidence. When we make God our hope and confidence, the ultimate result is always going to be good. We can trust this because our Heavenly Father told us in Romans 8:28(NIV), “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Loving God means being obedient to His Word and walking according to His purpose. When He’s our central focus in this way, we’ll correctly discern a blessing from a trick.

When other things are our hope and confidence, those things take centerstage. We think about them continually, and we feel that our lives are less than what God has made them because we don’t have the things we desire. Feeling that way means we need to pray more and shift our focus back to God.

Our Heavenly Father set up the pattern for what makes a relationship work. He did this from the very beginning, and we can have a good visual of it from learning from the relationship He had with Adam and Eve. He walked with them daily and was delighted to do so. He demonstrated to us that just as communion and communication are a vital part of our relationship with each other, they are an extremely important part of our relationship with Him. He is the Creator of all that exists, and when we think about this, we might find it hard to believe that God wants an intimate relationship with us, but that is why He created us. He wanted a family. He wanted children and we’re it. So, a commitment of quality time to talk and fellowship with God one-on-one is critical to sustain the kind of relationship with Him that He wants.

As women that are not yet at the end of the manifestation process of crossing paths with our destiny partners, we understand Steve’s thinking about how tricky relationships can be. Many of us have had our share of toads. Initially, we thought they were princes, but came to find out they were not the one for us. These situations can be devastatingly disappointing, and they often cause heartbreak that is challenging to get over. We want to be as far away from the person that has broken our hearts as possible, and we certainly don’t want to have to see them every day at work.

Jeremiah 17:8 gives us just the perspective we need on this. It tells us that when God is our hope and confidence, our roots will reach deep into Him, and we won’t be bothered by the heat or droughts. Heavenly Father is not a God that fails; He’s a God that always leads us forward and higher in blessings and spiritual growth! Being in a relationship with God means that He is going to grow us up in Him. It means that even if you’ve experienced situations that didn’t turn out as you expected, and even if you feel you’re in a drought and don’t see anyone that comes close to being your prince, you will not let yourself wallow in sadness. You will not let your heart be troubled because you know beyond knowing that God is faithful to His promises.

Jeremiah 17:8 also provides another key to remaining in faith. It says our leaves remain green. They don’t wither because of conditions of heat or drought. For those of us that are like trees planted by the river, our leaves don’t wither because we are committed to continue producing fruit. This is where many have fell off the wagon. When our confidence is misplaced, we stop concentrating on pleasing God by producing fruit. Instead, we concentrate on loneliness and lack. Or we concentrate on the man we think is the one and try to put God in second place. That will never work. Ministering the Word to others, being a blessing to their lives, helping those in need, sharing the Good News and encouraging those within our span of influence, good deeds like these are our fruit. They prove that our confidence is in God. Our focus must be to continue producing and laying up treasures as Christ has instructed us.

When our hope and confidence is firmly placed in God, we are not worried about the heat or the drought. We are in a posture of walking with Him and waiting to hear His instructions and directions. God is in the business of making your desires a reality. The fruition of your blessing is between you and God, and no one else can make your dreams come true except Him. Don’t be afraid to let go of past mistakes, expectations, and anything else that blocks you from trusting Him. Have confidence that whether its at work, in the grocery store, in church or fellowship, at the gym, or anyplace else, God has appointed the time and place of every blessing that happens in your life. When your relationship is tight with Him, there’s no way that you’ll miss what He has for you.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Not Bothered by the Heat or Worried About the Drought”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 24, 2023
The Lord Sees It Differently

1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

There are varying opinions with biblical scholars over whether Jesse had seven or eight sons, as one record in 1 Samuel 16 in the Old Testament mentions eight, and the other record in 1 Chronicles 2:13-15 mentions seven. It is entirely possible that one son passed away, but there is no contradiction in God’s Word; of this we must be sure. The record in 1Samuel 16 tells us that God sent Samuel, the prophet, to anoint David as the King of Israel. By all outward appearances, Jesse thought that any one of his older sons would be the one that Samuel might choose. They were taller, hardworking, and muscular looking men, but thank goodness God doesn’t look at us in the way that we look at each other. He looks at our hearts.

I can’t help but think of the many single women that are holding out for a man that fits their idea of how he should look. They have it down to complexion, height, build, and overall level of attractiveness. If a man shows up, and he looks significantly different than the image they’ve had in their minds, he’s relegated to the ‘not a possibility’ column with all due haste.

This can be a challenge to work through, because physical attraction is important in a marital relationship, but it’s not the principal thing. Some of us make it so. It boils down to a matter of priorities, and God has set those according to His plan for your life. He values your spiritual growth and the spiritual growth of your future spouse more than any other thing. And He tells us very straightforwardly in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” His desire is that we prioritize what He deems important at the top of our lists, because He always knows what is best for us. If we don’t line up our thoughts and convictions to give God the highest place of authority in our quest for marriage, we will keep ourselves separated from the blessing we desire.

Heavenly Father looks at the heart, because Proverbs 4:23 tells us that the issues of life spring forth from the heart. If our hearts are out of alignment with the Will of God for us, we run the risk of being dissatisfied with the outcomes of our choices and decisions. Heavenly Father deserves all the glory! He alone is worthy of our praise and worship. He never makes a mistake, and His delight is to bless His children. He never intended us to navigate life on our own. Walking and talking with Him, and receiving His divine leadership and guidance was always the kind of relationship He wanted with us. Yes, we may be adults and able to make decisions for ourselves, but God sees it differently. He sees us as children who need His help to live a successful life of faith. He is willing to help us cross paths with the person that is right for us, and He will help us with any other issues or desires. He will always steer us in the right direction, and we must put Him in His rightful place of honor as He guides us to higher blessings through our faith and obedience to His Word. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Lord Sees It Differently”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 17, 2023
The Bridge Not Easily Crossed

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NIV), “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken;”

The thing that speaks to me uniquely regarding this passage in Ecclesiastes 4 is that its wisdom takes out all the fuss we add to relationships. God delivers His standard here, and it is very simple common sense; this is what I love. Its practical guidance is beneficial no matter your situation. Whether you’re single, married or divorced, the principle of strength in unity and partnership can be applied across the board. If you’re finding the process of going from single to married to be a bridge not easily crossed, don’t allow yourself to be discouraged or deterred. Cling to the simplicity and common sense of God’s standard and let Him guide you as you cross the bridge from single to married.

You can’t do it without God
The principle reality about any quest we attempt to undertake is that we can’t do it without God. The truth of this goes without saying, but still many of us neglect to pray and be obedient in a way that signals we are letting Him lead. Nothing makes sense without God, but with Him, the quests we think are complicated and difficult are made light and far less challenging. God is about increase, sharing, and unity, because all of these, and much more, embody what it means to love in the way that He does. This doesn’t mean that being single is a negative thing. It’s not. It gives us time to concentrate and focus on our relationship with God. Some might feel they’ve had a little too much time for this, but God is the Judge of that. He knows when our hearts are full of His love. And He also knows when we are at a point spiritually when we will not shortchange our time with Him simply because we have a new man in our lives.

The simple truth He is revealing is that His Will is that people stand together and help one another. He loves unity, and He wants us to know this. So, when we’re at a point of praying that we’ll meet a good man and get married, we are praying to expand our lives by caring for and supporting another person. This is fruitful because God makes it plain for us in Ecclesiastes 4:10 that with two, you’ll have a better return on your labor. This means you can accomplish more things together than you would alone, but we must never forget that our working together with another must be fueled by our honor and obedience to God.

You must use your time now to pray that God teaches you the lessons that are specific to being the helpmate your spouse needs. You must have God’s guidance for this. Without His love guiding us, we become confused and entangled with too many expectations and too little spiritual discipline.

Know how to help each other up

In Hosea 4:6(ESV), God said, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge.” Heavenly Father is speaking directly to us, His children, and He’s telling us that we can be severely harmed because we have refused to know Him as well as we should. Many single people have not applied discipline when it comes to reading and studying God’s Word. If they are not doing it while they are single, they probably will not do it when they become married. Because they haven’t used their time as singles to study God’s Word, they won’t be able to withstand some of the rigors of married life. They’ve neglected to heed God’s warning in Hosea 4:6, yet they expect to be blessed with a lasting marital union. This is not a spiritually mature posture.

Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. Diligence is a discipline. It is evidenced by a consistent pattern that becomes a habit. Once we have worked a habit pattern of diligence in our lives, it stays with us. The characteristic of diligence towards the things of God helps to preserve our marital unions, and we can’t be ignorant about this. God’s requirement and expectation is that we will be a helper to our spouses. He expects that we will allow Him to work through us so we can help our spouses up when they fall. However, if we are not seasoned in His Word, we’re not even helping ourselves, so how can we help a spouse? We must be diligent about the things of God, so that we are spiritually prepared to help our spouses in the way God has ordained.

Make a cord of three strands
Jesus Christ must be the head of our marriages. His love is the glue that holds it together. It is inevitable in a marriage that there will be disagreements. Some marriages don’t survive them. Weaknesses of the spouses are weaponized by the devil to put a wedge between the couple. When neither spouse has built within them a habit pattern of prayer and walking in the Spirit, small things fester and slowly become layered over time. But when one of them has the faith to press into God and let Jesus Christ take the wheel, the Holy Spirit can strengthen their union. This is how the spouses together with Christ build the strong cord of three, and it will withstand the plots of the enemy that are designed to come against their union.

Knowledge about God’s Word is our greatest weapon, and when we don’t have it, life can be extremely difficult. If we are without the Godly wisdom necessary to be the good helpmate that Heavenly Father desires, the enemy will continually steal the opportunities that are necessary for us to cross paths with our destiny partner. We will be stuck on the bridge, never crossing it because we’re blinded by a lack of knowledge. We won’t see the very instruments that lead to our blessing. God loves unity, and you must pray and ask Him to teach you to work together with your spouse. He requires you to diligently apply yourself to this before you marry. You must get into His Word, so that you are spiritually strengthened and prepared to be the helpmate God desires you to be. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV), The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“The Bridge Not Easily Crossed”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 10, 2023
Choose Me, Please

“Men don’t notice me, and I don’t know what to do to change that.”

When we’re frequently in the company of more than a few men that are believers, and none of them seem to notice us, it can really do a number on our self-esteem. You wonder if there’s something you’re doing that is counterproductive to your goal of meeting Mr. Right. I’ve heard this concern from single women more than a few times, and it makes you want to do something to wake up certain men and say, “What’s wrong with you?!!!” All these amazing women that are beautiful inside and out are out there, and single men are like, “I’m waiting to get myself together financially first before I seriously date.” Seriously! What about what God says, does that count at all in their calculation, or is this ‘financial stability’ thing just an excuse.

If we’re keeping it one hundred, many of these men could have been more financially secure years ago, but they splurged on stuff like sneakers, clothes, or some other non-essential things, and didn’t use their money wisely. Do you think if they lacked the discipline a year ago that they’ve changed their game up a whole lot now? Having money in the bank is a really good thing, and we should all be striving to save and be more financially disciplined, but not to the point where money is governing our decision-making process rather than the wisdom of God’s Word.

A man’s responsibility is to be a provider, there is no doubt about this, but his ability to do so is an empowerment from God. It isn’t based on a man’s idea of what he needs. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8 that Heavenly Father knows what we need even before we ask. So, a man must depend solely on Heavenly Father as his Source, because this is the posture that pleases God. The man should understand that his motivation and commitment to care for those God has entrusted to him is what catapults him into God’s favor.

The wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9(NLT) tells us, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” This is a jewel for single people, but how can a single woman convince a single man that a serious and monogamous relationship is a precious blessing and not a detriment or a squash on his dreams of financial security? What can she do to make him see her as an asset and not a liability? Is there anything she can do to make him choose her as his wife for life?

Those are questions for the ages and many women have pondered them. But the answer is that a single woman shouldn’t think she has to try and convince a man of her worth. Her responsibility is to be convinced of it herself. How does this happen? How do we become grounded in the reality of our worth? The answer to this question requires us to know the Source of our worth, because He is the One who gives us value.

Before God rescued us from eternal darkness, Ephesians 2:1 tells us that we were dead in trespasses and sins against Him. Nothing dead has any value, but because of God’s amazing grace, He sent His Son to die so that he would save the world. God sent Christ to redeem us, and this redemption gave us our value because Jesus Christ gave us new life!

If we miss the extremely important reality of what Jesus Christ accomplished for us and where we were before he saved us, then something within us is still in the dark. God gave us value, and without our relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, we have no identity and no idea of our value. If we are not basking in the joy of what God has done for us, our light is not on. If the light is not on, the love of God is not powerfully radiating from our being, and we are not the magnet we could and should be. We must truly understand the depth of God’s love for us and the great sacrifice our Lord and Savior made for us all.

1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The Spirit of the Living God dwells within us, and he is the One that causes us to live a successful life as a follower of Christ. Living through Christ is our source of power. Heavenly Father makes this clear to us in 1Corinthians 4:20, which tells us that His Kingdom is not just a lot of talk, it is living with His power!

The Holy Spirit will do what we allow him to do. If we are not surrendering to his guidance and letting him teach us how to be our best for God’s Kingdom, then we are missing the mark. You and I, and everyone that has ever existed, live from the inside out. This means that the real action of who we are, what we represent, and what we can do illuminates from within. Blessings land in our lives and remain as a result of what is in our hearts and minds, so our aim should always be to let the light of Christ shine from within as we remain continually infused with God’s Word.

Getting ourselves pampered and pretty has its place, but it will never be enough to catapult us to next level of blessings and spiritual growth. God’s love in Christ is the glue. It causes us to cross paths with our destiny partners and keeps the relationship unified. Without God’s love in Christ and the gratitude we should have for what He’s done for us, you and I don’t have anything to draw out our blessings. We will not be able to hold things together. So, as a woman of God, of course you know that along with yours, there are lots of pretty faces out there, but a pretty face will not move a man to change his mind about marriage. You must be blissfully thankful to God, and you must be confident in your Christ identity. When you are, the transformative power of His love that is operating in your life will ensure that the right man recognizes you as the right woman for him. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Choose Me, Please”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 3, 2023
God Is Waiting on You

Romans 8:29(NIV) says, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” Many believers underestimate God’s allegiance to this verse and some even think He will negotiate with them over it. God’s goal for everyone is to become the very image of Christ. This earth experience gives us the opportunity to line up our souls with God’s Word so that our souls will be transformed; this must be our most important mission in life. Heavenly Father blesses His kids, there can be no doubt about this. He has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in Christ, and He hasn’t withheld any good thing from us. Our job is to never forget that our blessings are contained in the example of Christ. He is the mold from which we are cast, and we are cloned to the image of Christ by our obedience. 2Corinthians 10:6 affirms that obedience to God is the way to demolish the darkness that seeks to tear us down. The example of Jesus Christ represents our Heavenly Father’s faith in us. It’s our ticket to happiness and all the other blessings He has in store.

We can’t do things our own way and stamp it with ‘Success!’ Life never works out when we try to rely on our own effort to bring things together. Heavenly Father tells us in Romans 8:28 that HE is the One that causes all things to work together for our good. If He is for us, who can be against us?!!! It is our Almighty and Powerful God who justified us in Christ, and nothing can separate us from His love. As a single believing woman, you may have thought about taking your quest for marriage into your own hands. You may want to rush things along because you feel that God is taking too long. That can never be. God is perfect and His timing is impeccable but rest assured that He is not withholding your blessing. He is not making you wait year after year for it. Some of us are stuck in wait-mode longer than we’d like because we’ve decided to go at our own pace when it comes to conforming to the image of Christ.

Being 100% honest, we’d have to admit that many of us spend more time on social media and dating sites than we do reading God’s Word. We want to be entertained and not instructed, and that’s a problem because in order for our faith to increase, we must hear and perceive the Word of God. Romans 10:17 plainly tells us that faith comes by hearing God’s Word. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:19-20 not to lay up treasures on the earth, but to lay them up in heaven, where they can be stored. These treasures, if they are worthy, are what we’re putting away in God’s storehouse, therefore, the glory of them are on full display before Him. Our treasures are the tally sheet for how we walk in Christ and for what we are doing for the Kingdom. Our treasures represent what is in our hearts, for Jesus declared in Matthew 6:21(KJV) “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” What does God see when He looks at what you’re treasuring? What does it tell Him about your heart?

In Matthew 12:25(NLT), Jesus Christ said “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.” He then went on to say that on judgment day, we must give an account of everything we’ve done on this earth. Some of our accounts are in really bad shape right now. We haven’t stored up enough treasure in heaven, we haven’t put the Kingdom of God in first place, and we haven’t made our relationship with Him our number one priority. Instead, we’ve done our own thing. We can’t lie to God. We can’t make excuses, because He sees everything we do, and He knows everything there is to know about our hearts. God is not looking at us and shaking His finger with disapproval. He’s rooting for us, saying, “Come on, daughter. Get in my Word so you can understand who you are in Christ and what you should be doing to bear fruit in his powerful name!”

Hebrews 2:1(NLT) teaches us, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” We should never make this mistake; we can never forget the truth that we’ve heard, nor can we drift away from it for the sake of human companionship. As spiritually mature men and women in Christ, experience has taught us what happens when we allow ourselves to drift away from God’s Word. We lose our spiritual zeal and become distracted. The intimacy in our relationship with God weans, and if we continue down that road for too long, we begin to sabotage our blessings. The price of this is much too high to pay.

We have an adversary that would like nothing more than to keep us from walking in the victory of Christ. For this reason, we must never take our eyes off God and His love for us. Psalm 91:1(NLT) affirms, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” To live in God’s shelter and find rest in His shadow, you and I must stay close to Him through His Word. It’s our responsibility to saturate our mind and heart with His love and live in Godliness.

He’s giving us opportunity after opportunity, chance after chance, to get busy fulfilling our call. He doesn’t want us to leave this earth without making the impact we are destined to make in Christ. Romans 8:19(NLT) tells us, “For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are.” We need to recognize that everything around us; relationships, people, circumstances, environments, and conditions are waiting on us to rise up and produce what Christ gave his life for us to bring forth. So, we are not really in wait-mode. God is waiting on us to rise up and take our rightful place. How can we rush the delivery of the blessing when we have refused to produce fruit? Don’t try to follow what someone else has done or is doing. Walk in the Spirit for yourself and do what God has called YOU to do, so that you bring Him glory and receive what He has for you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Is Waiting on You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 26, 2023