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Details of Your Destiny

Ecclesiastes 6:10-12(NLT) says, “10 Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny. 11 The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they? 12 In the few days of our meaningless lives, who knows how our days can best be spent? Our lives are like a shadow. Who can tell what will happen on this earth after we are gone?” This passage puts our destiny in Christ upfront, in full-view, and in wide-screen high definition. No matter how much we might try to alter it or bump up against it, our destiny is unmovable. God has etched it in stone, so to speak, and we have no other choice but to accept this. The truth of this passage also gives us the lens from which to view our future marriages. God would not leave such an important part of our lives to chance. The person that will walk with us through life is our destiny partner, and God has included the details of our union in His plan.

Personally, I must admit that in the past, I argued with God about the direction my life had taken, but even though I argued with Him, He did not argue with me. His Will is perfect, and I had to get on board with His plan for my life. There were many things that I didn’t understand, and to be quite frank, some things I still don’t understand. But that’s why He tells us in 2Corinthians 5:7 to walk by faith and not by sight. This means that we can’t lean on what we see with our physical eyes and make our life’s choices and decisions based on that. We must have total faith in Him and what He says in His Word, so that our choices and decisions are grounded in His truth.

God’s Word is the truth. His Word is reality. Things can seem and look to us to be very bleak, and sometimes our relationships with the significant person in our lives becomes very rocky. It can feel very much like a breakup is eminent. The person may even be interested in someone else, but faith dictates that we don’t re-act to what we see, nor should we act out or re-act according to the angst or anger we may feel.

Some of us have been single for a while and there appears to be absolutely no movement. You’ve prayed and waited and done all that you know to do. You’re ready to throw in the towel because you’re not seeing movement with your physical eyes. The truth is that you have no idea what the Father is doing. You can’t see all the things He is moving and shaking up behind the scenes. So many singles make the mistake of self-sabotage due to impatience or emotional instability, and they prolong their blessing.

King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 6:11(NLT) “The more words you speak, the less they mean. So what good are they?” In other words, so often ‘people be talking just to be talking’. We say a lot of words, but they have no weight and don’t mean anything. God is letting us know that unless we speak what He speaks, we are not speaking life. And if we don’t speak life, it’s not going to produce the results we expect or want. We must get on board with our destinies and maximize our opportunities to move ourselves forward in God’s agenda. If you’re spending more time speaking negative than you are speaking the positives of God’s promises, you’re sabotaging your own efforts.

Scripture makes it all crystal clear to us, our destiny, whatever it may be, has already been decided. This is not to minimize our free will choice, but the emphasis is on the truth that whatever decision we make, it’s all about God’s plan and purpose for our lives. Romans 8:28(KJV) takes us to school and teaches us, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” This verse does not mean that God structures His blessings and purpose around our decisions and choices. It means that He has designed the universe to work towards our good when we get on board with His Will.

If we want to know the details of our destiny, this is it. It is that we live according to His Will and Word so that we witness the blessings He has in store for us. Nothing good happens outside God’s Will. We can see this from the condition of the world today, but it is a totally different story indeed when we remain in His shelter. Psalm 91:1(NLT) declares, “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” This is where we want to be.

King Solomon was the wisest person that ever lived, and his frustration is palpable in Ecclesiastes 6:10-12. He explored the many facets of life during his existence, looking under every rock for the meaning of life. He was looking for that “Ah Hah! Moment” and thought it could be found outside the boundaries of God’s sovereignty and magnificence. He wanted every detail of his destiny revealed so he could be definitive about his journey forward. Many of us are this way when it comes to our destiny partners. We want all the details, but like Solomon, we will find that reality is faith in God. Destiny is the moment by moment decisions we make to strengthen our relationship with Him through Christ. So, whatever your situation might be, whether you are patiently waiting for marriage or praying for the restoration of one, stay close to God. Have faith in Him! Seek Him through prayer and continual dialogue. Instead of doing what you want, get committed to doing what He wants, and the details of your destiny will beautifully unfold.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Details of Your Destiny”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 19, 2023
Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements

Life will give you what you give it. This is the lesson many mature believing women have learned throughout their spiritual journeys in Christ. Our Lord and Master tells us in Luke 6:38(NLT), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” He is teaching a very important and immutable law regarding the way in which Heavenly Father has setup the universe to operate. It is a law that works for the positive actions, energy, attitude, and deeds we put out there, and the negative as well. This Law of Giving and Receiving will never fail. It cannot be broken or altered. If we take a sinful or negative thought and allow it to manifest into a sinful action, it is going to have an impact on our lives, and we will not like it. Even those who do not know Jesus Christ in the pardon of their sins understand this law.

The Law of Giving and Receiving is packed with God’s unparalleled intelligence, grace, power, and goodness. It’s a law that forces us to humble ourselves, because we can’t come before God with excuses about our level of giving. We can’t convince Him that we’ve been amazingly Godly in our actions and deeds when we haven’t. Proverbs 24:12(NLT) cuts it down like this, “Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.”

The old nature is the nature we had before we came to Christ. It’s a nature that God calls His enemy, because it goes against His Word. It is a nature consumed with selfishness, pride, indulgence, revenge, pettiness, and all manner of darkness. Rebellion is the oil in the old nature’s engine, and many of us still have it in our hearts and minds. We don’t want to be disciplined or to do what God says if it interferes with what we like and want. And we convince ourselves that we are justified in our actions. Some think God’s forgiveness means that we can continue doing wrong and He’ll give us a pass, that there won’t be a price to pay for not lining up with His Word. Even an unlearned parent teaches their children that although bad behavior is forgiven, it has a cost. Heavenly Father has set up the entire universe to be friendly to those that obey Him, so we can avoid the consequence of wrong action through obedience to God’s Word.

A woman said to me once, “God knows my heart, He knows that I have needs and if I ask Him to forgive me, He will.” How many women have thought this to themselves? Tons, I bet. As believers, we can’t presume to tell God we have needs and then not have faith in Him to take care of them. And we certainly can’t call sin a need. He tells us in His Word that He is our Provider and Protector. Philippians 4:19(NLT), states “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” God is our Source, Sufficiency, and Supplier. So, if we go off on our own, and decide we’re going to take care of our own needs, what does this say about our faith in God? For many, therein lies the issue. They are not really trusting Heavenly Father for all things.

We must come to grips with the truth, because if we’re believing a lie, that’s not going to give us a foundation for marriage and the kind of life we want. As women of God, we feel pressure to try and balance our needs and the man’s needs, and still be Godly. We can’t start from that position because it isn’t a winning one. Jesus Christ tells us to seek GOD first. He must always be first with us. So, we must start our significant relationships, or any other thing we attempt to do, by putting God’s requirements in the top spot, and then everything else will fall in line.

We are not robots, and yes, we have needs, but God is our Creator. Sometimes what we think is a need is a temptation from the devil. We’ve given in to it so many times that now we have developed a pattern of listening to our flesh rather than listening to and honoring God. None of us have what it takes to balance our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs. Only God can do this. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

Our responsibility is to let God be at work by being committed to do what He says in His Word. Most of us have done things our way and indulged ourselves whenever we have had opportunity. We have been rebellious in certain areas of our lives for a long while now. It’s time to make a change. Our actions and intentions should be focused on building and strengthening our relationship with the Lord. We need to be conscious about what we’re doing and only put things out there that please Heavenly Father. When this is our main intention and motivation, we will receive the bounty and abundance that are tied to living and loving through Jesus Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 9, 2023
Do You Think About God Much?

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Philippians 4:8(NLT)

In Philippians 4:8, our Heavenly Father is providing us with valuable information that will help to shape and mold our lives. He has given us insight regarding the importance of our thoughts. Our minds are the grooming place of faith, and they produce the thoughts that help us move ourselves forward and upward in the things of God. This is one of the reasons the Father commands us in Ephesians 4:23 to be renewed in the spirit of our minds, because when we change our thoughts, we make a shift in the supernatural. This shift begins a manifestation process that can change our lives if we keep the faith and stay the course. When it comes to crossing paths with the person that will walk with us through life, we need to immediately arrest the negative. All doubt and anxiety must be replaced with promises of God’s Word.

Think about what is true
God’s Word is true! If God says something, then it must be so. We can’t have faith and doubt at the same time. One of them has to go. Jesus Christ said in Mark 11:23(NLT), “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.” What is doubt? Very simplistically, doubt is the opposite of faith in every way. It is feelings and thoughts of uncertainty and not believing the Word that God has told us. Doubt demolishes the momentum of faith and therefore, doubt will not and cannot prove the perfect Will of God.

Jesus Christ has told us the truth in Mark 11:23, and it is our choice whether or not we will believe that through faith in him, we can do incredible things. Our faith in the Lord is what causes us to be led and guided by the Holy Spirit. Faith takes us out of the driver’s seat and places Jesus Christ in his rightful place as the head of our lives. So, when we think thoughts that are true, we ought to be thinking the same thoughts that Jesus Christ has. What are those? Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NIV), “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” Our Lord and Savior never did anything that did not please God. From the time he woke up in the morning until the time he laid his head down at night, he was either thinking or doing the Will of God. This is what is always on the mind of Christ. He is always thinking about ways in which he can please God. How about us?

Think righteously
The process of thinking the same thoughts, and not changing the way we think, is like watching the same movie over and over again. After we’ve seen the movie repeatedly, it is recorded and programmed in our minds. The outcome is the same every time, and it doesn’t change. The actors don’t change, the scenes don’t change, and the ending doesn’t change. So, if the movie is bad, the outcome is always going to be bad. If the movie is good, the outcome is always going to be pleasing to us. Many single women want different results, but they don’t change the movie that is playing in their heads and hearts. They keep doing the same things and hoping for different results. Life will not respond to this positively. God designed life to respond favorably to faith.

Our thoughts are like seeds, once you plant them, ultimately that seed will produce a harvest. We, you and I, strengthen the plant based on how much we think the thoughts that seeded it. Our minds are a powerful tool – so much so, that our Heavenly Father has instructed us on what exactly we need to think in order that our minds are fertile soil for faith. He tells us to think on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable. This is what it means to think righteously.

To have unrighteous or non-righteous thoughts is to think repeatedly about things that are not based on the truth. Some of us make the mistake of allowing our thoughts to be dominated by our lack of companionship or lack of a significant relationship with a good man. We think about how lonely we might be if we don’t have a man by a certain time. We think about the embarrassment of showing up at events without a partner, and we think about how much we dread feelings of loneliness. But what about thoughts of the righteousness of Christ and the hope we can have to measure up to God’s standard? Does this dominate our thoughts more than those of lack and loneliness? Are we allowing our minds to be breeding ground for more of the same? What about your blessed marital union and the things you’ll do as a couple to bless the body of Christ? Some of us don’t think of our lives in this way because we don’t plan on doing much more than what we’ve done. Yet we expect to be blessed for a harvest we haven’t even planted.

Excellent and Worthy of Praise
Psalm 100:4(NLT) tells us, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” This is how we are to enter the presence of our God. Only He is deserving of our praise. He deserves all the praise, honor, and glory that we can give Him. Thinking about this is what it means to think high-level thoughts. It’s keeping our minds and hearts continually in that high place. We should come before God trusting and believing He’s taking us higher, and we should be committed to using our thoughts, words, and deeds to meet Him in the place that is deserving of His majesty. We can’t bring God down to the level of doubt and fear. Trying to do this is admitting we either don’t know who He is, or we are refusing to have faith in who He is. But when we are committed to give Him our highest praise and thankfulness, we are partnering with all that is good to please Him.

Gratitude and faith in God is the culture of heaven, and heaven is our home! It’s the place where our Father lives. We are God’s spiritual children, and we were born from His Spirit. His home is our home, and we need to represent home wherever we are. Whether it’s in the shower, in a classroom, at work, at church, at the hair or nail salon, in the grocery store, or at the dinner table. We ought to be thinking about God ALL the time, and we should be committed to having Him be pleased with our whole lives. If we continue to think like Christ, rest assured, marriage will come, and life will get better and better as we give God our whole lives and please Him with our thoughts and deeds.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do You Think About God Much?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 2, 2023
Being Single Again

When we enter a relationship, it’s impossible to know the outcome. We can’t see the ups and downs, and all the nuisances that either strengthen the relationship or tear it down. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:12(NLT), “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” We’re not perfect, and there are lots of things we don’t understand. We know in part, but not in whole. Through Paul, God is making it crystal clear that we need the help of the Holy Spirit in every area of life, and this is especially true when it comes to the significant person in our lives.

Ephesians 5:31-33(NLT) says, “As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This passage tells us God’s standard. This is what Heavenly Father has said regarding the institution of marriage. The enemy tries to destroy the minds and hearts of men and women towards marriage, and we have been incredibly unconscious about what the devil is doing. God tells us that marriage between a man and woman is a portrait of the unity that is shared by Christ and his body, which is the church. Another way of looking at it is to see marriage as training for the oneness we are to have with Jesus Christ. Our bond with a spouse is symbolic of the unity we should have with Christ and with one another as his body.

We can see very clearly here that unity is extremely important to God. As single women that desire to be married, sometimes we don’t see unity in the light God intends. Some of us think only about being loved by someone and sharing intimacy. That’s all a part of it, but the most important aspect of marriage is the unity and partnership spouses share through the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s having that blessing and anointing of God in the relationship that allows it to withstand the blows the devil sends and to last and deepen with time.

As singles that have fallen deeply in love in past relationships and have suffered heartache in them, we have the unique opportunity to humble ourselves before God in a way that we didn’t before. Within us all lies a tremendous desire to be loved. God knows this, because He is the One that has given us the capacity to give and receive love, and He established marriage as a major way to keep His love flowing. When we find ourselves single again, it is an opportunity to correct some of the things we perhaps missed before. Our commitment must be to do as Jesus Christ instructs in Matthew 6:33, which is to seek God’s Kingdom first in everything we do. Especially in our significant relationship, we must ensure that God is always our top priority, and that nothing comes before Him. Jesus Christ promises that when we do this, everything else will be given to us and fall into place. Real love comes from God, and our love for Him must be cemented at the root of our hearts, minds, and souls. The love of God in Christ is the glue that holds our relationships together and makes sure they are built on solid ground. This is paramount for any woman that seeks to sustain a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, as Paul said. The Lord Jesus Christ knows what more we need to see and understand in order for us to move forward in spiritual maturity. He knows what is required in us to be spiritually strengthened to the point of helping and not harming our future marriage. Being single again allows us time to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, because he can teach us where things went left in the past so that we don’t go down those paths any longer.

The sting of heartbreak can be devastating, but we don’t have to keep repeatedly going down that road. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” We need the light of Christ guiding us to make good decisions and to learn the lessons that will strengthen our hearts. His light illuminates God’s wisdom and positions us for the person He desires to walk with us through life. Be vigilant in prayer and trust God’s truth to prepare you for the blessing and reward of your future spouse. Then, after you meet him, don’t slip back to those sinful ways. Remain firmly committed to Christ as you are led and guided by the Spirit throughout your relationship and marriage. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Being Single Again”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 26, 2023
Want What God Wants for You

For some who may not be interested in God’s standard, marriage seems to be in vogue again. There are seasons when for them, it’s on trend, and then there are seasons where living together with your significant person is the way to go. For the believer, it has always been understood that God established marriage for His purposes and has ordained it as the foundation for families. Even those who don’t know the Lord Jesus Christ and haven’t accepted him as their personal Lord and Savior are beginning to open their eyes. They are starting to see that the unwed living together arrangement is far from what a committed person deserves. A commitment without God’s blessing and approval is like a promise made by someone on their death bed. They mean to keep it, but they don’t have the hope of life, faith, and goodness to back it up.

Know your worth
Romans 8:32(NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Those of us that are parents understand what it means to love and sacrifice for your children. You’ll do just about anything to secure their happiness and you only want the best for them. You never want to see them in harm’s way. Well, John 3:16(NKJV) says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Jesus Christ is God’s only begotten Son. He is God’s greatest treasure, yet our Heavenly offered him up as a sacrifice for our sins. What does this say about how much God loves us?

God’s love is unconditional, unlimited, and the purest of all. There is no greater power than His love, and Romans 8:39 tells us there isn’t anything that can separate us from it. He treasures us more than we can fathom, and He showed us this through Jesus Christ. God paid the highest price imaginable to purchase us back from darkness. Ever Since He did this for us through Christ, He’s been showing us and has done everything possible to get us to understand our worth to Him.

God doesn’t give imperfect gifts. He only gives gifts that are good and perfect, because HE is good and perfect. Through Christ, He’s given us the capacity to love completely through Him. It’s a perfect capacity with no impurities or glitches. Freely we have received this love, and we are charged by God to freely give it out. Marriage is established by our Heavenly Father as one of the greatest ways in which we give out His love. It’s one of the chief ways that He has established for us to make the greatest ‘love’ impact during our lifetimes. Marriage co-signs His love. We are to love our spouses through God in Christ, because we’ve been empowered by Him to love and live at this high level of unity, service, faith, and love. Anything less than this means that we are accepting that which is beneath our privilege.

Marriage is the validation God has established
We desire marriage because we recognize somewhere within that it demonstrates a man’s greatest level of love towards us. We’re wired for this kind of validation. Without it, some of us feed into our worst insecurities. Without a marriage commitment, many women start to feel used and that the man is taking advantage of them. When you are willing to give your all, it’s hurtful when it isn’t reciprocated. The reason it hurts is because we understand that we’re not supposed to be treated that way. The thing is, when we settle for less than a marital commitment, we treat our own selves that way. We’re settling for less than God desires for us. So, we are treating ourselves poorly and teaching the person we love to treat us in the same manner.

Ephesians 5:28-31(NLT) says, “28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Marriage was created and established by God to be sacred and holy. It will forever be, and there’s nothing any human being can do to diminish its importance and purpose. We must come to a place where we want what God wants for us. Heavenly Father wants every woman to walk in her worth and to know the love of a man that honors it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Want What God Wants for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 19, 2023
Can He Find You?

A good friend of mine is a very attractive guy. He has a good job, dresses very nicely and receives tons of attention from women. I think he knows that he’s handsome, but not in an egotistical way. Although he’s quite a bit younger than me, I find his demeanor beyond his years. He has a very quiet nature and has wanted to meet someone to settle down with for quite some time. We’ve had a few conversations about this, and if I’m being honest, I have to say that I’m kind of shocked by his situation. Given his sweet personality, I find it hard to believe that with all the attention he gets, he hasn’t come close to finding the right woman. One of the things that his situation brings out is that many men today are flooded with options, but there are so few women who make themselves stand out from the rest. So, it’s possible a good man wouldn’t recognize the right woman if she were standing right in front of him.

Proverbs 18:22(NKJV) says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” The number of discussions, explanations, and opinions about this verse are endless. It’s led to a series of subjects covered in many Christian retreats for singles, and the question about whether God is okay with a woman pursuing a man is always a debate starter. The light that Jesus Christ sheds on the practice of debating scripture is clear in Matthew 22:23. This verse tells us that he was approached by some Sadducees, and they posed a question about the resurrection, wanting to know how it applied to Mosaic Law. They expected to find some flaw in the truth he taught, and they also expected that Jesus Christ would not be able to exceed their level of intellect and understanding. How wrong they were. Jesus Christ told them in Matthew 22:29(NLT), “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.”

Theologians and Biblical scholars have helped us to understand God’s Word tremendously, but many of them have educated themselves to the point of losing the simplicity of God’s truth. Our Heavenly Father’s power and favor are unequaled. He has made no mistake in His Word about His standard of what constitutes a good wife or about the favor upon the man who has undertaken to find her. Rest assured when a man seeks God and desires a good wife, he will be blessed to find her, but both the man and the woman have equally important roles in this equation.

The responsibility of a good woman is to make sure she can be recognized as such. She can have all the makings of a good wife, but if she doesn’t look like one, her potential husband might be looking her straight in the eye and not recognize she’s ‘wifey.’ If we don’t look like a Godly treasure, we may not be recognized as one. There’s a very real temptation to try to imitate, dress like, and conform to what we see on social media and television. God tells us in Romans 12:2(NIV), “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” As believers, we simply cannot do what we see others doing. This doesn’t mean that our style or pizazz has to be less, but we should see it as a privilege to look like we love God. It’s not a burden, but a supreme blessing to honor Him in all that we do.

Colossians 3:17(NLT) tells us, “And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” Our walk with God through the example of Jesus Christ is a supreme privilege and honor. Everything we do, every choice and decision we make each day is one that either honors our commitment to God through the example of Christ or takes away from it. Colossians 3:18(NLT) goes on to tell us, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.” How we submit to God shows Him whether we are prepared to submit to our husbands. We have to begin now putting ourselves in check, because some of our habit patterns have to die to see other parts of us thrive. Our prayers to Heavenly Father should include our desire to understand what He is requiring of us. And when we see in His Word that we need to make some adjustments or corrections, we need to make them, and He will reward us for doing so.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Can He Find You?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 12, 2023
The WE Project

Psalm 127:1(NLT)
“Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.”

Over the years, I’ve seen and enjoyed the many wonderful blessings that the Lord has given me. He’s brought people into my life to bless me, and I’ve also watched people walk out of my life. Sometimes, certain people chose to leave, and it was painful to watch and experience, but I realized that it was also a very necessary thing. Like everyone else’s, my life is a work in progress. It’s a project that I’m working with the Lord to perfect. When I try to take the lead and make decisions and choices on my own, things don’t work out. But I’ve learned, and sometimes learned the hard way, that when I allow the Lord to lead, guide, and direct me, I’m never disappointed with the results. If I meet someone new, rather than assuming they are a blessing, I surrender it to the Lord. I pray to be guided by Him and allow Him the space to confirm that they are indeed a blessing. And if they aren’t, I thank God and ask Him to keep them moving along their merry way.

It’s challenging for some of us to do this. We’re wired to desire companionship, and when we meet someone new that seems to be nice, we prematurely assume he’s the one we’ve been waiting for. This isn’t always the case. Through the Lord Jesus Christ, we can avoid costly mistakes. Our Heavenly Father is not slack in any way and nothing slips by Him. Isaiah 45:15 declares that He works in mysterious ways. He opens some doors, and He keeps other doors closed for good. We should be incredibly thankful for how He guides us. If we seek Him, God will close the door before we become invested in relationships that are sent by the devil to cause great harm. Sometimes, it’s not immediately apparent to us what is happening, but if we will just be patient and give things time, God will make them plain and steer us in the right direction.

The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NLT), “The LORD will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.” This verse is so beautiful, and it should instill such confidence in us regarding God’s careful watch over His children. We are in partnership with Heavenly Father. We are in Christ, and Christ is in us. Our lives are a “WE” project that is orchestrated and led by God. It’s the Father and us, working together to achieve His purpose. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” He is at work within, and He’s communicating with our human spirit through His Holy Spirit. The information He communicates is all about leading us in the direction of the best that we can receive.

Philippians 2:13 doesn’t mean that God is inside controlling us like puppets. He’s giving us direction and guidance, but it is up to us to follow it. He tells us to renew our minds to His Word, to read and study it so it becomes a part of us. We do this in order to get our minds and hearts on board with the direction we have received from Him. In the WE Project of our lives, we must be fully surrendered to God through Jesus Christ. Our faith must be such that “if God says it, then it is the absolute best for my life!” because He never makes a mistake and everything that He does is perfect.

There have been times when I didn’t trust God as I should. I had a plan in mind and set out to make it happen. I plowed ahead with a big dose of stubbornness and ended up making mistakes that could have been avoided. These mistakes and missteps allowed me to see that I don’t have all the answers. I can’t see the big picture that God sees, so there’s no way I can know the pitfalls and plots that satan will try to use to set me up and set me back. But trusting God is forever in my best interest. It’s our Father in Heaven that holds everything all together. Don’t get me wrong, we can make plans, but we must seek God before we execute them. When we seek Him for direction, through a nudge, Word, dream, or vision, we will receive what we need to change or stay the course.

When I’m trying to make it a project of ‘me’ instead of ‘WE’, or trying to make things happen out of my own strength and not inviting God’s wisdom, I find myself working harder and not smarter; I end up wasting time. So, these days, when I’m confused or feel insecure about the way I’m proceeding in life, I stop and ask God if He is pleased with what I’m doing. I take time to examine if I have removed Jesus Christ from the driver’s seat. What a blessing to know that every time we ask Heavenly Father what to do or how to proceed in life, He answers us so sweetly by offering to guide us through His love.

Jesus Christ teaches us in John 15:5(NLT), “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” As single women desiring marriage, we must realize that when we try to take matters into our own hands and make things happen, they will not turn out the way we expect. Sometimes the result is that we will have taken several steps backward instead of forward. Things will turn into nothing when we don’t allow Jesus Christ to steer our lives. God is sure to finish the ‘WE Project’ that He started in us through Jesus Christ. We must never doubt this. Total re-programing of our thoughts and attitudes in order to let God take the lead in everything we do; this is what’s required. We must immerse ourselves in our oneness with Him through Jesus Christ. He has heard our prayers, and He will cause all things to work together for our benefit according to His perfect and divine timing. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The WE Project”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 5, 2023
God’s Will Is for Two to Become One

1 Corinthians 7:3-5(NLT)

“3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

There’s no need to tiptoe around it. The question that is on the minds of many single women that desire marriage is when it will happen. Part of encouraging one another towards the goal of marrying well is to speak the truth in love. There are some subjects that believers have been known to tiptoe around, and one of them is physical intimacy in the marital relationship. It’s a deeply private issue, but also a very necessary and natural discussion to have, especially before you get married. God said in Genesis 2:24(NKJV), “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” We need to have a serious conversation with God about becoming one with the man that He desires to walk with us through life. The habits we’ve developed, and the expectations and incorrect beliefs we have around God’s plan for becoming one, will need to be addressed before we take that walk down the aisle.

Quite frankly, for many singles, the habits they’ve developed when it comes to satisfying the flesh are ones that were adopted from society. It’s so far from God’s Word that people don’t even believe they can be married to one person for life anymore. They assume divorce is inevitable, and that on a whim people are free to fall out of love as quickly as they fall in love. This isn’t the ‘becoming one’ that God had in mind. His grace is sufficient toward us, and He forgives our shortcomings, but we can never place ourselves or our own personal agendas above God’s standard.

Our faith towards marriage can’t be built on what society says, because that’s not faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It comes by the truth, so if we abdicate God’s standard, we no longer have the truth, and a person cannot have faith if they don’t believe and trust the truth. God’s Word is the only solid foundation that exists, and if we try to build a marriage without it, we’re in trouble.

One of the things we’re witnessing is that there is a tremendous amount of people who believe that God will reward them when they haven’t walked according to His Word. We can’t pretend to be committed to God; we must really be committed to Him. We have to love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. So, if we are truly honoring God’s standard of becoming one with the man we will marry, we must repent from becoming one with men that we didn’t marry.

To repent is to have a change of heart and mind. It’s to completely change the way we’re thinking and believing about something so that our thoughts, feelings, and actions line up with the example of Jesus Christ.

Our Heavenly Father ordained that a husband and wife become one before Him. You and I have no other choice but to conclude that He did this because it was very important to His plan. When we step outside the boundaries of what He has ordained, repentance is critically necessary. Heavenly Father wants to give us the blessing we greatly desire, but He cannot reward us if our hearts are too stubborn and arrogant to recognize we need to repent. He wants to help us lay up treasures so that we don’t allow the enemy to continue to steal from us. There must be within us a Godly sorrow for not doing as the Father commanded, for it is in this deep place of remorse for our actions against His Will that we can also accept His forgiveness.

Whether married or waiting to meet our husbands, we must not allow satan to tempt us with a lack of self-control. Our desire to please God must be greater than our desire for any other thing, because this speaks to our commitment to Him. Throughout God’s Word, He continually reminds His people to be holy and committed so He can bless them. He’s very willing to aid us and has placed His Spirit within the born-again believer to guide, teach, and comfort us. We must be settled and clear in our minds and hearts that physical intimacy was sanctioned by God for marriage. This is His standard, and nothing is comparable to God’s perfection. He never changes and He always tells us what pleases Him, and what pleases God is always best.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God’s Will Is for Two to Become One”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 26, 2023
He Was Not Meant to Be The One

When feelings of loneliness creep up on us, our response must be to immediately renew our minds to the promises of God. Loneliness can be a lure that the adversary uses to sabotage our ability to make wise choices and decisions. There are situations and circumstances that the devil designs to remove us from the path of God’s blessings. We’ve all heard about those “Wham!!!” moments in life where things are going smoothly, and life is good, then wham! Something totally out of the blue happens and causes us to take a nosedive into the abyss of confusion and trouble. This happened to a woman I know who had been wonderfully blessed in her professional life. A beautiful home, nice car, nice things; she enjoyed a really comfortable life, but she took it all for granted, and a wrong turn cost her almost everything.

She met a man that she didn’t expect to meet, and it would be easy to blame him for all her troubles, because that’s what many of us do, but it started long before he arrived on the scene. He had all the right attributes that she wanted, and they seemed to be a good match. He’s an electrician and entrepreneur, and not only is he ambitious, he was generous with his advice and helpfulness. She assumed he was the one she had been praying about and waiting for, and she never waited for God to clarify it for sure.

One of the common mistakes that many believers make is to underestimate the importance of showing God true gratitude and thankfulness for His many blessings. It’s true that we work hard to acquire nice things, but our Heavenly Father makes it all possible. As a demonstration of our gratitude to God, we must sow into His Kingdom, and we must be sure to take care of the blessings He’s given us. As single women believers that have been blessed to achieve success, it is wonderful to share it, but we need to be led by God’s Spirit so that we are wise about our decisions and choices. The man that we will bless greatly and who will bless us greatly is in God’s plan, and we should never overstep God’s leadership in this area.

Galatians 5:16(NLT) tells us, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” For many women that have experienced the pain of loneliness from being single longer than they imagined, when they meet someone that seems to be a good fit, the inclination is to dive right in. It is important for us to realize that God wants to be involved in this area of our lives, and He will help us to steer clear of harm and disappointment if we allow Him.

Although kind and helpful, the electrician was not the one in God’s plan for this woman’s life. She didn’t give herself time to really get to know him, and she didn’t wait on the Father. She didn’t know that this ambitious entrepreneur had tried lots of things in the past to become the millionaire he had always dreamed he’d be, and he was far too trusting of others. He convinced her to invest her money into a new venture of his, and they both were the worse for it.

Psalm 27:14(NIV) tells us, “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” It’s not always easy to pump the breaks, and to stop ourselves from emotionally investing so deeply in a man who is being attentive and kind, but we must understand that things can turn very quickly. We can’t be naïve. We must be spiritually mature enough to understand that satan is vicious and has no mercy, and he will use our willingness to leap before we look against us. We must wait for the Lord and be strong in our convictions to do so. God will not disappoint us if we do this. Psalm 25:3(NLT) says, “No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced.” Heavenly Father is faithful to protect us, but we must wait on His direction. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“He Was Not Meant to Be The One”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 6, 2023
God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man

Genesis 2:18(NLT)
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.””

This verse in Genesis 2:18 is incredibly easy to understand, but as with many verses like it, we have the privilege of taking it apart to digest all its yumminess. As women of God that are praying to marry, we can’t afford to let the impact of what God has revealed to slip by us. God created Adam first, and this was not a coincidence or a random occurrence. God does everything with a purpose, and certainly the first human being that He created was prolific, deliberate, and specifically ordained for God’s sovereign Will and Plan. From this, you and I must conclude that Eve’s purpose, while very important to God, was not the same as Adam’s. There was no mistake or mishap in God’s planning. Eve was made to be a helper who was just right for Adam, but we’ve gotten so twisted around by the world’s agenda that we’re rejecting the truth, and many of us are in jeopardy of missing out on God’s blessing.

A helper, as the word is used in Genesis 2:18, is translated as ‘one who helps’. This is a very beautiful distinction, because it is the same position and designation that our Heavenly Father assumes towards us. He helps us, and it is because we desperately need His help. The psalmist said about Heavenly Father in Psalm 121:1 (NKJV), “I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help?” In Hosea 13:9(NKJV), God said to His people, “O Israel, you are destroyed, But your help is from Me.” In Deuteronomy 33:26(NLT), Moses said about our Creator, “There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor.” Oh, how blessed we should be and feel as women to have been chosen for a such a distinction as this, to be a “help meet”, a helper to God’s man.

Instead of understanding this extreme honor and appreciating the privilege that God intended, we have turned ‘helper’ into almost a bad word. And because many of us have overlooked God’s brilliance, intention, and plan for this role, we have failed to produce the faith necessary to carry it out. We place a great deal of emphasis on God giving us a man that is just right for us, instead of recognizing that we have been given the designation to be just right for the man. It’s a flip in the script that cannot be missed.

God is a God of order. He doesn’t miss a beat. In Ephesians 2:10(NLT), Heavenly Father tells us, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Both the man and the woman are God’s masterpieces. He made the woman a helper, and it can be nothing other than glorious, for everything the Father does is glorious. He planned good things for us to do, and helping the man is a huge part of God’s plan. We simply cannot afford to misconstrue any part of God’s masterful intention here.

Looking for a wife is not a man’s first order of business. The first responsibility for the man is to solidify and strengthen his relationship with God. It is to establish intimacy with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. As women, we are so consumed and concerned with what the man is or isn’t, that we’re not even bothered about what kind of relationship he has with God. We just want him to be right for us and check off all the boxes on our lists. As long as he’ll go along with our program, whether he prays or not is the furthest thing from many of our minds. It’s a real surprise for some women to discover that this attitude and mindset will work against you rather than for you.

God’s intention is that the man fulfills his purpose. Helping him do so is a part of our purpose as ambassadors for Christ and daughters of the Most High God. It’s an extremely humbling thing to recognize that the quest to be a wife can’t revolve around us and what we want, but it must be submitted to God and what He wants. What God wants is always and forever the best for all concerned.

We are so busy with talking about what cheaters men are. You hear it all time, women saying that they’re no good ones left, and that women are doomed to be single all their lives. This is the mindset of someone that doesn’t know God’s agenda for the woman and isn’t prepared to submit to it. We’re not going to draw ourselves closer to God’s blessing by standing in opposition to it. That will never work. God’s man is a treasure, and he can be all that God desires him to be. Yes, many of them fall short, but so do we. You must have a totally different attitude and mindset about men, and change the way you speak about them, because if you can’t speak about the blessing the way God ordained it, you won’t see it and you can’t have it.

If you are a Christian woman, and you love the Lord, you know that the God you serve is a Rewarder to those who diligently seek Him. When we are serious about being all that God has called us to be, we don’t rely on our own assumptions about our preparedness. The ministry of a wife is service to God. We reverence the husband because of our reverence to God through Jesus Christ. If we are not sure in any respect that we are prepared to serve in the ministry of a spouse and to devote ourselves completely to it, we should be asking God what we need to do to get prepared. Our hearts should be to please Him as we seek to be the wife He desires us to be. If we humble ourselves before God, with an attitude that is flexible when it comes to changing some of our habits and thoughts, we will see things we’ve never seen before. We’ll view the ministry of a wife that God has placed in our hands with greater appreciation and responsibility, and we’ll assume it with the grace and dedication to service that God requires.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Made the Woman Just Right for the Man”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 30, 2023