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Listen, Learn, and Love

“31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. 32 If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”
Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT)

People say I have a way of making others feel comfortable, and it’s easy to talk to me. As thankful as I am to hear this, I have to admit that it hasn’t always been the case. Some people are not fans of open communication. Not only do they not like talking about themselves, talking about their feelings makes them very uncomfortable as well. I’m not one of those people. Our Heavenly Father has given us this gift called ‘personality’, and each of us has one. We are all different and have unique qualities. As the Father would have it, I’ve always had the gift of gab, and the fact that I’m curious about many subjects didn’t hurt. When I was younger, I felt I had a lot to say. So, I can talk your ear off, but listening attentively was another story. Listening is a skill that it takes time to learn for many of us, and it is a practice that is absolutely necessary to maintaining a good relationship.

As I have matured in God’s Word, I have learned that being a good listener is just as important as being a good communicator. Some would even say that it is even more important to listen than it is to speak. To listen is to take in what has been spoken or conveyed, and to do so in a way that the information is evaluated, valued or used. It goes without saying that we listen to people we value. If they don’t feel we’re hearing them, they may not feel as though we value them or their opinions. It should be no surprise to us that people can be very offended when we don’t give them the courtesy of being heard. So, not only is listening very important to honoring and respecting our relationship with God, it is also crucial to fostering all our other relationships as well.

The wisdom of Proverbs 20:12(NLT) says, “Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD.” This is a very plain and straightforward truth, so much so that its impact may slip by you if you’re not careful. Nothing about the way God created human beings is random. He’s given us ears to hear and eyes to see so that we can perceive and digest internally information we receive externally. He could have placed all the information we’d ever need in our minds from the very beginning. He could have designed us in such a way that we wouldn’t need to hear or see anything, but we are made in God’s image. He sees and He hears, and so do we.

God has created us to be creatures of faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It is our choice whether we will listen to God’s Word or listen to the lies that come from the world. We decide what is important to us, and to a great degree we decide what we will hear and learn. Our choices about how and what we will listen to inform everything around us of our identity. If I’m a person that is interested in the truth, I will listen to what God says in His Word. If I’m a person that isn’t interested in the truth, I will not listen to God, but instead will give more attention to other sources of information. A person’s choice to listen to God affirms their identity as His child, for Jesus Christ said in John 10:27(NLT), “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

We can see that God has been masterfully strategic in giving us eyes and ears, and we must be masterfully strategic in using His gifts to bring glory and honor back to Him. In Matthew 11:15 and 13:9(NLT), as Jesus Christ taught God’s Word, he would say, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand! In this simple verse, he is commanding us not just to listen but to learn. Jesus Christ is pointing to the reality that you and I have a choice. It is our privilege and responsibility to both listen and to understand God’s Word.

The Holy Spirit that indwells us is our teacher. As we hear, read, and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit works within us internally, causing our understanding to come together in such a way that we comprehend the Word. Hebrews 10:14-16(NLT)tells us, “For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, “This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”” Through the Spirit, the Word is already written on our hearts, and as we read, study, and listen to it, the Holy Spirit affirms the testimony of God’s truth from within. When the Holy Spirit testifies with our spirit, truth becomes a part of us, and our faith is strengthened. We desperately need this to happen.

The importance of knowing the Holy Spirit as our Teacher, Guide, and Comforter is the most important aspect of living a successful life as a believer in Christ. It is critical to moving forward in our quest for marriage. Many single women have expected God to guide them to meet the man that they will marry, but they have had little to no interest in being guided by God’s Spirit to learn God’s Word. 2Timothy 2:15(NLT) commands us, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.” How can we expect to receive God’s approval for partnering without first committing ourselves to 2Timothy 2:15?

To listen to and learn God’s Word is required in order to love the way He desires us to love. Marriage is the reward for doing what God says, but many of us have looked upon it as an entitlement. We must develop the habit pattern of listening and learning through the Holy Spirit so that he can guide us through God’s Word. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will tell us the Word, he will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ. We can’t have successful marriages and relationships without hearing from the Lord. We need to become masterful listeners, hearing God’s truth first, then we will be able to apply sensitive and attentive hearing as thoughtful spouses who are led by the truth.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Listen, Learn, and Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 23, 2023
We Have A Job to Do!

James 1:21-24(NLT)
“21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”

You and I have a job to do! And it’s going to require more out of you than your comfort zone may allow, but – when the job is finished, your soul will be saved. God has given us specific instructions. He tells us to get rid of the filth and evil in our lives, and make no mistake, God says what He means, and He means what He says. Not only must we remove the cancerous evil from our souls, but we must humbly accept the Word that God has planted in our hearts. This is plain and simple instruction. All of us have some stuff we’re holding on to that is blocking our blessings and keeping us from being who God has called us to be. Our spirits are perfect through our new birth transformation, but the soul is another story. It’s the soul that keeps us from receiving the blessings we desire most.

We all have some cleaning up to do in our lives. It is essential that we commit to this work so that our souls will accept the Word that God has planted in us through His Holy Spirit. The Word is there, deep inside our human spirits, but our souls have a different agenda. The soul wants to keep holding on to the things we used to do before Jesus Christ became the head of our lives. These are the things that the devil is using to intercept our blessings, and this is one of the reasons why we get close to what we want, but it slips away. It’s stolen from us because some of our old habit patterns provide just the opening that satan uses to come into our lives and rob us.

God warns us in James 1:23 not to be the kind of person that listens to His Word and doesn’t do what it says, because we’re only fooling ourselves when we do this. Our circumstances and situations will always be the proof in the pudding. They will always show us exactly where our heads and hearts are. They will show us whether we’re just giving lip service to God, or whether we genuinely and sincerely aim to please Him with our whole lives.

Hebrews 12:1(NLT) tells us, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us 0strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Some of us are carrying weight from previous hurtful relationships, and we have never taken the time to ask the Father if the weight of deep pain we’ve gone through is slowing us down and tripping us up.

Sometimes, the hurt we’ve experienced causes us to go for the jugular in disagreements. We go from zero to sixty when something is said or done that hits our sore spot. When we’ve gone through situations where our partners indulge infidelity, many of us shutdown our hearts. We don’t let anyone get too close, and we put on a façade, never allowing new people to see who we really are. Then, there are women that have made the man they are involved with their everything. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus Christ commands us to seek God first in all that we do. Our relationships with God must be our number one priority, but many women conduct themselves in direct opposite to the commandment of Christ. In their past relationships, they focused all their energy on the man, and ignored their relationship with Heavenly Father. This is a sin that they’ve never repented from.

The fear of experiencing the pain of loneliness is what drives many of us to undermine our own spiritual well-being. We don’t stop to think that God is the One who holds everything together, and without His blessing, nothing will work the way it should. He’s the One that we should be seeking, because He takes care of us. Our Heavenly Father sees everything, and He sees what we can’t see in our past, present, and future. He knows when we are not walking by faith but yielding to fear. He doesn’t punish us, He helps us.

One of the toughest jobs that we may endure is understanding how to recognize the specific thing(s) that hinder our walk with God. This is why He’s given us His Holy Spirit and placed him in the inner sanctum of our beings. We’ve got work to do! As future wives and/or mothers, we are to be conduits of God’s love, and this means that we can’t allow ourselves to be buffeted by satan and all the fear he tries to bring into our lives. We must trust Hebrews 11:6, that God is a Rewarder of those that diligently seek Him. He rewards us when we put Him first, study and obey His Word, and release the things that hold us back. We should forgive ourselves for past mistakes, but our first order of business is to confront this stuff, seek God’s forgiveness, and get on with the business of growing and maturing in Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“We Have a Job to Do!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 16, 2023
Be Patient and Keep on Believing God

Matthew 6:26 (NLT)
“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”

There are two very important practices to spiritually preparing to partner that a believer can’t afford to neglect. The first is practicing the fruit of patience. The fruit of the Spirit belong to him, the Holy Spirit, and his fruit are produced through us. Anything that belongs to the Spirit is holy, perfect, and pure. Therefore, you and I have no other choice but to conclude that the outcome of exhibiting patience is going to be powerful, and it is going to be to our liking. Knowing this piece of truth adds to our faith and wisdom. So, patience should be looked upon as an extreme blessing and not a chore.

Impatience is a lack of patience. It is an intolerance or irritability of delays. In many cases, it reflects our refusal to increase our believing towards faith. When it comes to finding the right person, many women are impatient with the wait. If you were to peel back the layers of their impatience, you might find they are worried and anxious that God is not going to give them the desires of their hearts. So, doubt is the root cause of their impatience. God’s remedy for this can be found in Philippians 4:6(NLT), where He tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

Philippians 4:6 is God’s tool for building our confidence. It is a ‘new nature’ attitude and mentality, one where we shift out of doubt and into believing God, no matter how circumstances appear. This is a workout for our faith muscle, and it is a mandatory exercise, one that God will not allow us to skip. Understanding this is critical to growing in spiritual maturity and preparation. It’s the reason why I advised a young woman to use caution regarding someone she had recently met.

When I inquired how they’d met, she told me that it was through a mutual acquaintance. They started talking over social media, and she suggested they continue their conversations via text and offered him her phone number. She asked my advice regarding how she should proceed. She’s wanted to meet a compatible mate for a long time, and I shared my delight that she had met someone. I also cautioned her to give herself time and only respond to what he does. She said, “But what if he doesn’t reach out anymore?” I advised, “Wait for his response. It’s the only way you’ll know what you’re working with. If he doesn’t respond, you’ll know it’s not for you.”

The beauty of ‘wait’ is the maturation of our believing. The world’s standard is, “Grrl! You better make that move!” but that isn’t God’s standard. His way is “Be still and know that I am God.” When we practice the fruit of patience, God will not allow us to miss a blessing. We must have faith that the right man will always respond. It’s destiny at work!

The second practice is that of knowing what to do during the wait. The antsy-ness or impatience we experience during the wait is typically because we don’t know what to do with our time. It doesn’t occur to many people that God is our Creator, and that He meant for us to spend all our available time in fellowship, worship, and praying to Him through Christ. This is absolutely God’s expectation. Jesus Christ told us in John 14:6 that he is the way, the truth, and the life! He is the only way to get to the Father, and his way is to be in continual fellowship with God and to have an intimate relationship with Him.

When a woman yearns for a relationship with a man, she must be super careful that her longing is not weightier than her willingness to give God her time. For instance, if a person refuses to make reading the Bible, praying, and seeking to put on more of the example of Christ a meaningful part of their daily practices, they can’t expect to boost their believing towards marriage. That would be an unreasonable expectation. It’s not a workable strategy. God’s Will and Word is that we put on more of Christ, because when we walk in Christ as fully as we can, blessings will chase us down. Jesus Christ told us this in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:26 (NLT), “Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?” God is our Sufficiency. He is the Source of all blessings, and He will take care of our needs. He loves us and gave His only begotten Son to die for our sins. This lets us know that we are worthy of love. When you are confident in who you are in Christ, your actions will align with God’s Will. We must shift our focus off what hasn’t manifested yet and put it on the reality that God has already provided the husband. Our responsibility is to be patient, and to keep on believing and trusting God, no matter the wait.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Be Patient and Keep on Believing God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 9, 2023
RING in the New Year?

Some of the urban vernacular we hear these days is so cryptic that it could literally become a second language. Words like ‘ratchet’, ‘shade’, ‘filthy’, ‘lit’, and ‘baddie’ meant something completely different just a short time ago. Today they’ve taken on a whole new meaning. I have a feeling that ten years from now, they’ll mean something else, but there’s one term that goes way back and the meaning never changes; it’s “ride-or-die.” This perfectly defines Mia to a tee. There are no other phrase in the English language that would do justice to her level of allegiance and commitment when it comes to her current relationship. She’s more than hung in there for ol’ dude, and she just knew this Christmas would be the payoff she’s been waiting for.

Mia’s boyfriend came back from a long deployment in Afghanistan. They’ve been doing this dance for almost four years now, and I’ve never known a person more loyal than she is. No shade to Robert. He’s dutiful and attentive, seems to appreciate her commitment, and showers her with gifts every time he comes home. She had an inclination that he might propose during the holidays, and a few days ago, when he brought her a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box, she just knew an engagement ring was inside of it. It was empty, and she thought to herself, “Huh, another year and no ring.”

Can you imagine the disappointment? They’re the quintessential military couple. Everyone who knows them prays and roots for them to make it, but there’s a problem, and neither of them seem to be willing to face it head on. I remember a time when Mia said openly that she would never date a man over two years without a marriage commitment, yet here she is. Robert is a good man, no doubt, but the question Mia might be forced to ask herself is whether he’s the right man for her.

As she recounted what happened on Christmas to her friends, she did so with a lightness and a chuckle, but the disappointment was in her eyes. It seems a very likely scenario that she will continue this posture of wait and see. Her loyalty is a given, but it has always been matched by an unabashed disposition to speak her mind. She has a notorious intolerance for non-sense. So, it’s an enigma to us that an ultimatum of some kind has never been a topic of discussion between the two of them.

Mia has taken ‘ride or die’ to the limit. Continuing this track she’s chosen; will she get a ring in the new year? None of us know, but of course God does, and the best thing that she can do for herself is to ask Him. In Matthew 7:7 (NIV), Jesus Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” The only prerequisite to knowing the truth is to ask, seek, and knock. The only requirement for receiving the truth is an earnest intention to accept it once it is presented. Sometimes, we only want the truth when it is convenient to what we currently believe, but the truth can sometimes make us uncomfortable. When it does, we think it’s inconvenient, because it will most certainly lead us to change and do something different. It might make us step outside our comfort zones and face a fear that we’ve harbored a long time.

Philippians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We can come to God and present anything before Him that is on our hearts. We need to trust that God desires marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. Sometimes we choose a person that seems right, but isn’t right for us. Or it could be that they are only meant to be in our lives for a season. The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NIV), “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Sometimes, the person we love just will not meet our expectation. Trying to force this is like placing a square peg in a round hole. This isn’t what God wants for any of us. The answer isn’t to hold on something that isn’t producing the life we deserve. If we’re fearful of not being loved or of being lonely, these are fears we need to release. God will help us if we ask Him and trust that He will set our feet on the right course.

Robert may not be the one to put a ring on Mia’s finger. That may be difficult for her to come to terms with, but to move forward, she must. None of us should just go along, doing the same things, and knowing deep in our hearts that we’re not receiving the same level of love and commitment we’re giving out. Robert knows the caliber of woman that Mia is, because she’s proven herself to be loving, committed, and loyal. Yet, he still doesn’t want to make her ‘wifey’, and that is what she wants most. Let’s not ring in the New Year without the expectation, self-confidence, and faith of getting a ring. Commit to Christ-like actions, immerse yourself in God’s grace, and release anything that keeps you stuck. 1 John 4:18a (NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Let the perfect love of God drive out the fear that keeps you settling for less than He wants to give you. Seek our Heavenly Father in all that you do, and you’ll witness the newness He’ll bring to your life in the New Year.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“RING in the New Year?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 1, 2023
The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie

We hear a lot about soul ties in today’s environment, and it has both positive and negative connotations. “Soul tie” is a phrase that people use to describe a deep spiritual connection to another individual. Some think of it as a connection that occurs when two people meet for the first time and realize that their souls are destined to become one. Any person that has experienced the fulfillment and joy of a meaningful soul tie will want it to last a lifetime. It’s the dream on the hearts of many of God’s people, and the continual subject of their prayers. We are wired to seek connection, and when we make one on a soul level, everything feels right in life. The thing that very few of us prepare for is what happens when our souls untie.

Matthew 19 gives us a record of an occasion when the Pharisees came to test Jesus Christ regarding the legality of divorce. Verses 4-5(NLT) tells us his response, “4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” This passage leaves no question of God’s intention for marriage and unity. When a man and a woman marry, they become one in His sight.

In this marital union, it is possible that one person might significantly change mentally and emotionally. It’s not uncommon to hear divorced men and women say, “We just outgrew one another.” The unexplainable aspect is the reality that they were so sure at one time that their souls were inextricably linked. It was inconceivable to the both of them that anything in life could occur that would cause their soul tie to be broken. This begs us to consider the reality that things in life break all the time, but there is nothing broken in the life of any human being that cannot be repaired and made better through the love of Christ.

No Blame Game
1Corinthians 12:27(NLT) declares, “Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.” This puts the ‘out-growing’ rationale in perspective. As children of the Most High God and siblings of Christ, we are all members of one body and therefore, we are indeed inextricably linked through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Ephesians 4:10 tells us that Jesus Christ left certain gifts pertaining to spiritual leadership for his body. These gifts are to accomplish the mission of God’s plan which is for the whole body to be unified in faith regarding the knowledge of Christ. Again, this ‘individual parts functioning as a whole’ is God’s plan for the Body of Christ, and His Will is that everything will be under the authority, power, and rule of Jesus Christ, our King.

The outcome of God’s plan is made plain for us in Ephesians 4:16(NLT). It tells us, “He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” It is inevitable that we will all grow at various levels with various speeds. God’s intention is that one partner will aid the growth of another in the way that He has ordained.

To shift blame on to the other person for a lack of spiritual, mental, and emotional maturity is not only injurious to the relationship, it is injurious to us. It takes us out of accountability and humility. We have neither the bandwidth nor the right to stand in the seat of judgment when it comes to God’s plan for our spouses and partners. Heavenly Father’s plan for them existed long before they met us. Our responsibility is to ‘help the other parts grow’. God will keep the tie together when our willingness and intention is to aid His purpose. He will bless us and help us weather challenges and difficulties on all fronts if we minister in our unions through His grace and righteousness.

Specific and Continual Prayer for Your Partner

Souls develop and grow, that’s part of what they do. They release things that we feel no longer serve us and they gravitate towards things we believe will give us pleasure. So, when our mates no longer give us the pleasure that we’re used to receiving from them, that’s what we perceive as a serious problem. The soul wants what it wants, and when it doesn’t get its usual diet, or its appetite changes, we feel empty. The natural inclination of folks in a relationship is to think that the relationship is no longer useful because it doesn’t fill us up the way it used to. We then attribute the emptiness we feel to the partner. He’s not making our soul tank FEEL full.

One of the lessons we learn as we grow in Christ is that Jesus is the source of our joy. If we’re looking for the relationship to be the source of our joy, we are setting it up for disappointment. Christ works through us, and he works through our partners because of our faith in him. You and I don’t have any glue of our own to hold a relationship together; we just don’t. It is the love of God in Christ that holds everything together. When it seems the soul tie in a relationship is coming untied, more glue—more of the love of Christ—is the solution. You and I may not know how to administer God’s love in a way that addresses the untie, but the indwelling Holy Spirit knows exactly what to do. Our responsibility is to pray fervently and frequently for our partners, that the Spirit will do his perfect work in them, and in us.

As wives and girlfriends, truthfully, we’ve let this one slip on an epic scale. Even now, while you are unmarried or unpartnered, you must set a habit pattern of praying specifically for the salvation and spiritual growth of your husband. Pray that the Will of God is done in his life, and that you will be a conduit of God’s love to help him continue to walk the path Heavenly Father has placed before him. We have grossly underestimated the level of diligence to prayer that a union requires. We need to be locked into the Father’s heart when it comes to ministering to our spouses. Specific and continual prayer prepares us for hiccups and gives us the patience and discipline to be still as God works them out.

Be Still

The loss of partnership when our souls appear to untie is difficult, but we can get over it of course through the healing power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. However, it is also very necessary for us to understand that those same two souls can be unified again through Christ. It can be done through our willingness to pray, not out of desperation, but out of obedience to what God desires. We must also understand that unity cannot be achieved without humility. Recognize that even though you may have developed a soul tie, your soul cannot call the shots; it cannot rule your life. Jesus Christ is Lord! He is in the driver’s seat. He must rule our lives, and we must allow him to lead, guide, and direct us.

God said in Psalm 46:10(NKJV), “Be still, and know that I am God.” Don’t panic or make hasty decisions and choices when things are untangling. Often this is an indicator that our own souls need nourishment, and the only Source of nourishment for our souls is God’s Word. We must still ourselves and get into the Word with a greater commitment to pray and receive wisdom and understanding. Don’t allow the enemy to whisper lies in your ears and cause you to step away from your destiny. The Holy Spirit will teach you and reveal to you what to do if you make God’s Word the priority. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Lessons of a Broken Soul Tie”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 27, 2022
Completely Convinced in God

“Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.”
Hebrews 11:1(NLT)

Getting married is a request in the prayers of many single women. Some are crying out to God with urgency. They feel their hope for marriage doesn’t seem to be getting any closer to materializing their desired results. They are increasingly disillusioned with dating and losing hope in the prospect of marriage. The experience of many singles is to meet someone, date for a few months, talk about the future and then ‘poof’, the relationship fizzles before it even has a chance to develop into something meaningful. It can be emotionally taxing, and most of us want to get off this merry-go-round.

Marriage is indeed a blessing from God. It requires that faith isn’t just something we go to at the point it seems the relationship is fizzling. Faith must be anchored in our minds and hearts before we get into relationships, so that we are not just dating to be dating. When our faith is in God through the Lord Jesus Christ, we date with God’s purpose in mind, and we don’t have to waste our emotional resources becoming invested when the person was never meant to be a destiny partner.

1John 5:4(NLT) tells us, “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.” There is no question that marriage is a beautiful thing, but we bring things into it that are not so beautiful. In fact, there’s some baggage we’re carrying that will bring down our future marriages with unnecessary and toxic weight. God will help us get rid of this stuff now, so that we aren’t outsmarted or defeated by the devil. Victory is when we are prepared through Jesus Christ to stand on the Word of God so that whatever plots, tricks, and traps the enemy sends against our unions, we are able to stand firm.

The reality is that wherever we are in our walk with Christ, faith is required to see any kind of movement from God in our situation. Because our Heavenly Father is completely invested in us – just like we want a man to be, God is already there. He wants to see us grow in Him and to grow in our faith. He already sees us standing strong in Christ with the blessings we desire most, and our reality must match what He sees. You may envision yourself as someone’s wife. You may believe that you’re ready and spiritually prepared, however, in God’s eyes, your faith isn’t quite there. You must trust that God knows better than you, and you must be convinced that He will help you prepare if you humble yourself before Him.

Our faith is how we respond to God. It is how we show Heavenly Father that we trust Him. If our response isn’t one that is completely convinced of His goodness, and if our response doesn’t reflect that we know He always knows best, then we must make a shift in our thinking and believing. We can’t do our own thing just because we think it feels right. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. The only way to hear the Word of God is to read it, listen to it, and speak it to yourself.

Both our minds and our hearts must be completely convinced that what God said He’s going to do He will most certainly do. He said He would give you the desires of your heart if you remain anchored in Christ and occupy your thoughts and intentions with pleasing Him. This means that your entire agenda can’t be about what pleases YOU, it must be about pleasing God with your whole life. If there’s any possibility that you are not where you need to be in the faith, pray and get into God’s Word more, then watch as He rewards your increased commitment to put Him first.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Completely Convinced in God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 5, 2022
Never Judge A Book by Its Cover

One Saturday afternoon, while I was parked at the grocery store and still sitting in my car, my oldest daughter nudged me as I was busy searching for my grocery list in my purse. “Ma, look at him! Oh, my goodness! He’s absolutely gorgeous! I hope my husband looks like that!” She said. This man was impeccable. The grooming, the styling, the smile—mesmerizing. It was almost as if he walked in slow motion so that we could take in every ounce of his handsomeness. Instantly you assume that someone that pretty on the outside is equally so on the inside. You can’t judge a book by its cover. This is a lesson that maturity and a few heartaches under your belt will teach you. I schooled my daughter with the same wisdom I received from my mother; looks aren’t everything, it’s the heart of a person that you want to see. But like many of us, sometimes we learn this lesson the hard way.

The cover of a book typically gives us an indication or an inkling about its contents. It often evokes an emotional response from us. The cover is supposed to whet our appetites and make us curious and excited to read what’s inside the cover. It shouldn’t be lost on us that sometimes the cover is misleading. We open the book, begin to read its contents, and may find that the inside is quite different from the outside. The outside may be incredibly appealing, but the inside may pale in comparison. So, although some books are as exhilarating and interesting as their covers, some are not, and that can be disappointing.

In the Old Testament, Saul was appointed the first king of God’s people, the children of Israel. From all accounts, his exterior was very pleasing to the eye. He was strong and virile, and looked like one would expect a king to look. Samuel, God’s prophet, was very fond of King Saul, and for a time, Saul followed God’s statutes and led the people as God instructed, but this changed. Saul began to think that he knew better than God, and he started to do things his own way. Of course, Heavenly Father found this unacceptable and rejected Saul as king of Israel. God selected another king, and Samuel the prophet was saddened because of his fondness for Saul.

God told him in 1Samuel 16:1(NLT), “Now the LORD said to Samuel, “You have mourned long enough for Saul. I have rejected him as king of Israel, so fill your flask with olive oil and go to Bethlehem. Find a man named Jesse who lives there, for I have selected one of his sons to be my king.” Saul had the right cover—he looked the part of a king, but the content of his heart was disappointing. Again, Samuel had grown very fond of him and was attached to Saul so to speak, so much so that he mourned over God’s rejection of Saul. We can understand this so well, because sometimes we meet someone who is attractive, and their looks draw us in. After we get to know them better, it might be clear that their character isn’t as attractive as their exterior, but we develop an attachment. We want them in our lives, but deep down, we know this isn’t a person that can walk with us through life.

When Samuel saw one of Jesse’s sons that was striking and virile, he thought surely he was the one. Again, he was making a character judgment that was based on the exterior and not on the interior. In 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), the Lord told Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Our Heavenly Father is schooling us on His standard for choosing what is best. It’s about the heart.

Samuel obeyed God because he knew that God always knows best. You and I must have this confidence towards God in our hearts as well. We must have faith that not only does God know what is in our hearts, but He knows what’s in the heart of the person we choose. Sometimes, the wrong things are in that person’s heart, and they will end up causing us great harm or causing us to miss the blessings God wants to give us. When it comes to dating and finding the right person for us, surrendering our decision making to the guidance of the Lord is the very best thing we can do. It can be fun and exciting to look at the cover of a beautiful book, but we shouldn’t invest our time and energy into reading it unless God tells us the contents are as pleasing to Him as the cover.■

Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Never Judge A Book By Its Cover”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 28, 2022
A Wise Woman that Prepares for Her Future

Proverbs 31:10(NLT) says, “A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.” I absolutely love this scripture, and I’m sure many of you do as well. I have often referenced it in my offerings because it is so awesomely impactful to Godly womanhood. It’s a very simple verse to understand, and because of this, many of us have mistakenly glossed over its potential to expand our faith. When it comes to the challenges of being unmarried and finding a compatible partner, this verse in its wonderful simplicity answers any questions we might have. God tells us that a good woman is hard to find. If she’s hard to find, she’s not in the usual places. She’s where a good man will be looking and expecting to find her.

Proverbs 14:1(NLT) states, “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” In the modern times in which we now live, and in many circles, a woman that prioritizes building a home is looked upon as old fashioned, old school, and out of step with the reality of modern feminism. Learning to cook a meal, to tidy up her home and keep it presentable, and to prioritize Godliness are sacred to the ministry of a woman, but most folks these days don’t view it this way. Our Heavenly Father is not concerned with how the world views His Word. He is, on the other hand, very concerned with how believers view it. In 2Timothy 2:15, God commands us to show ourselves approved before Him. He then goes on to tell us exactly how His approval is achieved. He tells us to be good workers who rightly divide and handle the Word of Truth.

In Luke 6:47-49, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ clarifies the difference between a good worker and a poor worker. A good worker, according to the teaching of Christ, is a person that listens to his teaching and follows it. A good worker is a builder that lays a foundation of solid rock and then builds the house upon it. When the floodwaters and storms come against the good builder’s house, that house will stand no matter what. A poor worker hears the Word of God but doesn’t obey. A poor worker doesn’t believe that God’s Word is the truth and therefore builds a house without a foundation. When floodwaters and storms come against it, this house collapses into one big mess.

A woman that is wise will build the foundation of her home on Jesus Christ and the Word of God, so that no matter what the enemy throws her way, her house will not be divided but will stand. A wise woman doesn’t make worldly assumptions about what it means to be a good woman. She turns to God and prays that He will teach her His requirements so she can meet them.

When a woman is busy being obedient to the Father’s Will and Word, a good man will know exactly where to find her. We’re not perfect, but God’s plan is perfect, His Word is perfect, and He is perfect. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t miss a beat. When we make it our business to build our house on the solid foundation of Jesus Christ, the Lord will take care of presenting a man that is everything we need him to be. God has given us perfect tools, perfect building material, and perfect instructions. We can’t wait until we meet the man to start using them. We must demonstrate to the Lord that we trust that He will provide us with a good man. We must show Him that we are backing our faith by being wise and doing everything we can to spiritually prepare for the future, and we’re doing it right now.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Wise Woman that Prepares for Her Future”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 21, 2022
Out with the Old and In with the New

Isaiah 43:19(NLT)
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”

My conversation with a dear sister in Christ led me to really draw nearer to this verse of scripture in Isaiah 43. My sister-friend recently had a breakup with her significant other, and she was feeling the sting of his absence in her life. I knew she was hurting, and I counseled her as best any good Christian friend would – with the love of Christ and with truth. I told her not to dwell in that space of hurt for too long and try not to be in touch with her ex if possible.

There is never going to be a set time on how long it takes for someone to get over a breakup. It may take a few weeks, a few months and for some, it may take much longer; it is also why the verse in Isaiah 43 resonates so much with me, and I pray it does with you. Through His prophet, God told His people, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” When He told His people this, they were in one of the worst tribulation experiences that any human have. They were in bondage. They had lost their prominence, their possessions, and their place of dwelling. Their eyes were so closed to possibility that all they could see was the gloom of their situation. God was telling them to open their eyes to His power, because His masterful plan for them was already turning things around. This is the same eye-opening hope and faith that you and I must have in God.

God lets us know without any shadow of doubt that He does a new thing in our lives daily. Not just once a month or once a year, but every single day of our lives. Even when it comes down to the sinful behavior we may commit while in our relationships, God is quick to blot them out as soon as we ask for His forgiveness. He remembers our sins no more, and He told His people in Isaiah 43:25(NLT), “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” He lets us know so lovingly that He is not like us. He doesn’t look at us through the same lens as others or even the way we look at ourselves. God sees the Christ in us and never looks on the impurities of our sinful souls. He wants us to also see ourselves in this way—as brand new!

The Apostle Paul said in Galatian 6:14-15(MSG), “For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!” When we’re brand new, we don’t give up hope because of something that went wrong in the past. Instead, we celebrate newness because we have faith that God is always up to something good, and He is always doing something new for, with, and in us. Our attitude should continually be ‘out with the old and in with the new!’

I’m sure many of us wish we could just wake up one morning and every hurtful circumstance or bad behavior would just vamoose out of our memory completely. But it doesn’t matter to God how many bad memories we have or how many wrong choices in men we’ve made, Heavenly Father’s love for us is infinitely higher than we could ever imagine. He wants us to be forever fulfilled with an abundance of love and happiness, this is what is most important to Him. He is greater than any mistake we can make, and His love will heal our hearts and cause us to be better than we ever imagined.

Sometimes we need a little help to understand that before we can embrace something new, we may need to let go of some of our old patterns and behaviors. I recently went through my closet and got rid of some clothes and shoes that I no longer needed and wasn’t wearing. It instantly hit me that this is what many single people should do in their personal lives. Get rid of what you don’t need, those emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes that do not help you increase in faith and love. Refuse to wear those things any longer! The point is to make room for something new. You just never know what God has working in the background. Don’t miss what He has for you by focusing on what has passed. Shift your attention and focus to the new that God is bringing into your life and trust Him to guide you to it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“Out with the Old and In with the New”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 14, 2022
A Hope That Is Not Deferred

Ephesians 4:21-24(NLT) instructs, “21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.” This extraordinarily impactful passage points out two distinct dispensations and two distinct natures that are revealed to us in God’s Word. The two dispensations are the Law Administration and the Grace Administration. The two natures are the sinful or old nature which came from satan, and the new nature which Jesus Christ created. Those of us living after the resurrection of Christ are overwhelmingly blessed to be living in the Grace Administration, and we don’t have a choice about it, but where the two natures are concerned, it’s a little different. As born-again believers, we have both the old nature and the new nature, and we decide whether we’ll put on our new nature or slip back to our old sinful nature. But we should know that putting on our new nature created in Christ Jesus is the very best possible decision we can make.

Adam’s and Eve’s sin ushered in the Law administration. This is the dispensation where God revealed the Ten Commandments to help guide His people so they could remain blessed and covered by His provision and safety. God’s laws did something else that was pretty amazing. His laws revealed His nature. The laws put His brand of righteousness on full blast so that we would not only know more about His nature, but we could also recognize His goal for us. His goal for His children is to imitate His nature. Ephesians 5:1 tells us that we are to be imitators of God.

The problem with those living in Old Testament times was that sin was in their bodies. Sin was their nature and they just kept on sinning. Because of this, continual sacrifices needed to be offered to cover their sins so they could have a relationship with God, but it wasn’t the kind of relationship He wanted. Ephesians 4:22 says that the sinful nature corrupted the people and they craved sin, but Jesus Christ changed this for us. Because of his accomplishment on the cross, he created a new nature that is like God’s nature, and this nature is righteous and holy. This new nature that Christ created for us operates through God’s love. This means that God will not force us to put it on; it’s our choice.

The Spirit Renews
Ephesians 4:23 tells us to let the Spirit renew our thoughts and attitudes. You and I are to let the Spirit be at work in our minds and hearts. He helps us put on the thoughts and attitudes of Christ. As we release wrong thinking and behaviors, he helps us walk in our new nature and grow up in Christ. God commands us to read and study His Word and to spend time with Him in prayer. These practices permit the Spirit to enlighten the eyes of our understanding when it comes to God’s truth. He is not going to go inside our minds and hearts and immediately start throwing all the bad stuff out and putting the good stuff in. It’s a process. Once we make the effort to comprehend the truth, internally the Spirit gives us pathways to new thoughts and attitudes that are aligned with Christ. This is how we are transformed inside out, and it’s how we continue to spiritually grow as we walk in, with, and by the Spirit more and more each day.

We are new creations in Christ! Through him, we have the power to say ‘NO’ to our old sinful nature. The Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:6(NLT), “But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.” Someone asked me, “Why is sin so harmful.” Well, sin doesn’t come from God, it comes from satan. It is rebellion against God’s Word and Will, and it takes us away from our spiritual relationship with Him and binds us to a slave relationship with satan through our flesh. Sin makes us slaves of darkness. Jesus Christ rescued us from darkness, and as children with a new nature like God’s, we should never go back to the slavery we were in.

God tells us in Galatians 5:1(MSG), “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” Listen, choosing to deny the flesh of what it wants is arguably one of the most challenging decisions any single Christian can make, but it’s a requirement if we want to be pleasing to God. And it is a requirement if we want to enjoy all that God has for us. All God’s blessings are contained in our new nature in Christ Jesus. If we are continually reaching back to those self-sabotaging patterns of the old nature, we’re not growing spiritually mature in Christ. Instead, we are injuring our souls, and harming our relationship with God. Heavenly Father demands that we have faith in His promises. If we remain obedient to His Word, He is faithful to reward us.

Proverbs 13:12(NLT) tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.” Our hopes and dreams should be held in our hearts until the Lord brings them into fruition. Our faith keeps them incubated as we continue to do what the Lord requires. Hope is deferred when we keep hoping something will happen and it doesn’t. Is there anything more disappointing than this? It is indeed heartbreaking to raise our expectations about something, and it never materializes. Heavenly Father is not keeping it a secret that sometimes people hope for things that do not come to pass. He warns us about this so that we will avoid such an outcome. The way to avoid it is to abide by the Father’s Will and Word and do what He commands.

When your hopes become your dreams regarding the person that you’re interested in, you want this individual to grow to love you and want to establish a lasting commitment. Relationships require a lot from us, and you may be willing to make this big investment, but the other person may not be. Our old nature tells us that we’re in jeopardy of losing out and that this person holds the key to our hopes and dreams. Because of this, many of us give over ourselves to the person even more. God’s Word tells us to give ourselves over completely to Him through our new nature created in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the unfailing anchor of our hopes and dreams and trusting in Him is the way to make them a reality.

God will never give up on His plan to see us live through the example of Christ. Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and shortcomings. He knows where we need to be fortified so that we make good, committed spouses who will always put Christ at the head of our marriages. If we don’t do it in other relationships, chances are that we probably won’t do it when we’re married. Now is the time to demonstrate our commitment to Godliness. Whether we’re in a relationship or outside of one, God wants us to be strong and courageous women in Christ. If we let Him take the lead and guide us on the path He has set for us, our hopes and dreams will not be deferred because we will live them every day of our lives.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Hope That Is Not Deferred”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 7, 2022