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  • Removing Thoughts that Block the Blessing of Marriage

    Removing Thoughts that Block the Blessing of Marriage

    If you’ve ever read an in-depth article or watched a good video about replacing a leaky faucet or repairing an outdated piece of equipment, you know they give a ton of information. Many of them provide step-by-step instructions and a list of necessary tools to get the job done successfully. Well, when it comes to making improvements to our dating lives, it’s almost the same concept, except the repairs must begin with our thoughts. The dating arena can be challenging to navigate, and some of us have shifted to a very pessimistic mindset. If this describes your current line of thinking, it may be because you’ve met people that seem nice in the beginning, but don’t turn out to be who you thought they were—far from it. It can get a little old and bring us down. This is when we need to go to God’s Word for some necessary repairs. In His Word, God provides step-by-step instructions and a list of necessary tools. They will refuel our hopes, rekindle our excitement about the future, and get us back on track to fulfilling our dreams.

    God provides His Word as our information headquarters for right living. He’s given us the example of Jesus Christ to follow, and the gift of His Holy Spirit as our teacher and guide. Believers can sometimes allow their minds to be dismissive when it comes to familiar scriptures and wisdom. We don’t mediate and study daily as we should, and when this happens, the nourishment meant for our hearts and minds slips away from us. Old thought patterns settle in, and things like believing that men can’t be trusted or that all men are cheaters become blockers to our blessing. To remove outdated thoughts that block our faith and keep us from the blessing we seek, here are a few steps to shift gears to a mindset that pleases Heavenly Father:

    Step 1:  Take God at His Word.
    In Proverbs 18:22(NKJV), God tells us, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.” We serve a God that is exact and precise. His Word is timeless and will forever stand as our foundation for right living, abundance, and truth. He considered the challenges of dating in modern times when He expressed this wisdom in Proverbs 18:22 thousands of years ago; for He knows the end at the very beginning. It is monumentally important that the Christian woman takes God at His Word, and that she is confident that He is not slack in any way concerning it. He has made sure there are men in every generation who #1 honor the Godly qualities of a wife, and #2 desire favor from the Lord. So if there’s anything in our minds and hearts that prevents right thinking on God’s provision in this area, we must change it.

    Step 2: Keep the Word in your mind.
    Hebrews 2:1(NLT) says, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” Remember, it’s our responsibility to keep God’s Word active in our hearts and minds. The Word of instruction in Joshua 1:8(NLT) still applies to believers today. This verse tells us, “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” God wants us to succeed. He wants us to be married and partnered up more than we desire it for ourselves. Keeping His Word is paramount to our success.

    It is very easy to make poor choices and bad decisions in the area of dating. We get burned this way and lose precious time and resources on this journey. We desperately need to keep the wisdom of God’s Word in our minds, so that we remain on destiny’s path. Then, we can do as 2Corinthians 10:5 instructs and cast down vain imaginations and arguments from others, and we should even cast down those unruly thoughts that exist in our own heads. These are thoughts that place themselves higher than the knowledge of God, and we can never afford to let them dwell in our minds. That’s why doubt is so dangerous to our believing, because doubt tells a lie about the goodness of God. Instead of letting doubt rule our thoughts, Jesus Christ commands us to to capture those doubtful thoughts. We should examine them from all angles, and if they don’t line up with the mind of Christ, we need to squash them immediately. We must disconnect from the thoughts that support wrong beliefs. We can’t let them get into our hearts or cancel our commitment to keep God’s Word active in our minds.

    Step 3: Survive the test.
    It is critical that we understand the increase that marriage yields. It expands our territory exponentially, and to whom much is given, much is required. So many single believers complain about the wait. They don’t understand that God is building capacity within them. Marriage in modern times requires a strong spiritual foundation where the Lordship of Jesus Christ is firmly and unquestionably in place. It cannot be lost on us that the enemy doesn’t want our foundations to be strong in Christ and uses all manner of distractions to keep us from growing in the areas that we need to.

    Whenever you seek to go higher in Christ, you will always face challenges to keep you down. I encourage you to cease from complaining about the wait, for God is able to make up for any lost time. Survive and surpass the test the enemy is waging against your faith. Open your eyes and be attentive to the confessions you make, the conversations you have, the thoughts you think, and the attitudes that permeate your days. Bring everything under the submission and guidance of the Holy Spirit, as you stay in God’s Word. Know that when you take your obedience and stand to the next level and remove the blockers from your life, you’ll witness a repositioning that brings you in line with the blessing of marriage.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Removing Thoughts that Block the Blessing of Marriage” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

    Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

    Growing up, the youngins in my family were chastised for listening to grown folk’s business, but if they hadn’t been gossiping, there would have been nothing to hear. The many relationships gone wrong was the talk of our small town. I remember hearing such-and-such and so-and-so were getting divorced because the wife found out that her husband was cheating with another woman in the neighborhood. This kind of thing wasn’t uncommon, and news of it spread like wild fire. But the gossip wasn’t the worse part. Often, seasoned matriarchs, even those in the faith, would say things like, “She’d better stay with that man. Even if he’s cheating, she’ll regret leaving if she ends up alone. She’d better stay put; she’ll get over it!”

    This kind of thinking was cultivated from a lack of knowledge of God’s Word. Romans 10:17(NLT) tells us, “So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.” It isn’t enough for the Word to simply fall upon our ears. We must digest it in a way that it gets mixed with understanding and believing. We must understand the greatness of God’s Word as we also believe it with our whole hearts. Witnessing some of the advice that was doled out as wisdom in yester-years, as well as today, we can see so clearly how crucial it is for us to hear and understand God’s truth.

    Even today, for many women it is common to accept an abusive man out of a fear of loneliness or fear of not having material or financial provision. Much of this thinking has been breed into us from a culture where faith is not accurately and frequently taught. It’s not just the insidiousness of cultural teaching about abusive behavior, there are many other attitudes we’ve accepted about men and relationships that undermine our confidence and self-worth.

    When we’re praying to cross paths with our future partners or praying for the relationship we’re currently in, these kinds of attitudes and entrenched thinking are often brought to the forefront, where we can examine them. Something will transpire to call our attention to certain things, and the worst course of action we can take is to ignore whats in front of our faces. The baggage of fear is a heavy load, and if we’re carrying it, we need to address it from the root, so that we don’t bring fear and wrong believing into a new relationship. Jesus Christ is Lord in every way, and we must honor him in all area of our lives, especially when it comes to our relationships. Many of us put up the “Stay away” sign, but this is a huge mistake. We desperately need his help. We must remember that the goal is to allow Jesus Christ the room to move in our significant relationship, because he’s the glue that holds them together.

    I remember hearing from a mature Christian woman that we teach men how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Treating ourselves good means that we love ourselves with the love of Christ! Honor, respect, and obedience are just a few Godly characteristics that a woman should live by in order to get her mind and heart in the right place.

    Galatians 5:1 (MSG) says, “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” When we hear the word ‘slavery’, we think of bondage and imprisonment. This is a very real and true perspective of what it means to live in darkness and fear. Participating in a relationship without knowing or upholding the standards of Christ is the equivalent of living behind bars. There’s no freedom in a lie, only God’s truth can bring light, love and liberty to every situation.

    You see, when we don’t press into God for direction and discernment, we might look for love in all the wrong places. Then, we attract men who help us remain comfortable in our insecurities and fear. That’s not what Heavenly Father wants for His beautiful daughters. Ephesians 5:25 says God wants us to be loved by a man that will love us as Jesus Christ loves the church and gave his life for her. Let’s not remain behind the blinders but remove them to see that just as we are capable and willing to love a man with a heart of Christ, we must not accept less than this from him.■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • What Happens if Your Faith Isn’t Where It Needs to Be?

    Just when you think you’ve gotten a clear understanding of what it means to walk by faith, something happens in your life to make you feel you’re almost back at square one. This is exactly what happened to me the day after having the most impactful prayer session I’ve ever had. Whammm! There it was, a formidable obstacle I didn’t see coming. I said to myself, “This is just another trick of the devil!” In fact, it was more than this. It was a mirror presented by my own thoughts and feelings of fear, those that were lurking just beneath the surface. Up to this point, I was operating in the faith I knew, and God has never failed me, but I had to face the reality that I had not been pushed to go beyond a certain level of discomfort. I had to deal with the answer to the question, “Do I truly trust and believe that no matter what, God has my back?”

    I noticed a pattern. Different variations of the same negative situations kept popping up, and with each instance, the circumstances became more severe. Sometimes, we become easily offended when we’re hit with tribulations. We begin to think that God has left us alone. Wrestling with trusting Him can be one of the darkest places a Christian can tread. It leaves a lot of room for doubt and ambivalence.

    Most of us have heard quite a lot of teaching on the subject of doubt. We’ve been schooled on the danger of letting it into our minds, and this can add even another layer of complication. Hebrews 11:6 tells us it is impossible to please God without faith, and some of us might think that if we have doubt in the slightest way, God will not come to our rescue. This isn’t true, of course. God will always come to our aid, but He will also teach us in ways that help us grow in faith.

    There will always be disappointments in life. There will be tribulations. In John 16:33, Jesus Christ told the disciples that in the world they will have many trials and sorrows, but they must be encouraged greatly in their hearts because He, our precious Lord and Savior, has overcome the world. He has won the victory for us. Heavenly Father wants us to realize that we have an enemy, and he, the devil, works through worldly systems. Romans 8 lists some of the persecutions that believers endure; tribulations, distress, being talked about and lied on, the perils of lack and loneliness, and danger coming very close to our lives; it can seem as if we’re just sheep waiting to be devoured. Then, Romans 8:37 tells us that none of these things will separate us from the love of Christ. It says, “despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.”

    It may not feel like it from where we stand this moment, but we have the victory over any circumstance facing us. Jesus Christ has already won it. Through fear, the enemy tries to keep us from seeing what Christ has done for us; he tries to convince us that God will not come to our rescue. Fear belongs to the devil; it’s his domain. Continually stirring the pot of our anxieties and working through others to prick us, the enemy uses our fear to get us quaking in our boots. We need to know with great confidence that God will help us be released from this fear. He will do it for us if we ask Him, in the powerful name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ left the throne of God to come to earth to save us. He became a flesh and blood person and shared in all the things that we deal with as humans. He did this because God, our Heavenly Father, gave him this mission. The heart of Christ was to do the Will of the Father because he loves Him and he loves us. Hebrews 2:14-15(NLT) says, “Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” Jesus Christ has won every victory for us. He showed us how to trust and love God with all our hearts, minds, souls, and strength. Through his sacrifice and resurrection, we are released from anything that tries to hold us back or keep us locked down.

    He’s given us the victory! If you’re struggling to see the victory of Christ in some area of your life, don’t let your doubt place you in more self-condemnation. Don’t let fear and doubt put a wedge in your relationship with God. Ask Him to help your faith and talk with Him honestly about it. The Holy Spirit dwells within, and He will guide, teach, and comfort you. Take comfort in the reality that you will witness God’s grace and His awesome love and care, and this is yours for the asking even if your faith isn’t quite where it needs to be.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “What Happens if Your Faith Isn’t Where It Needs to Be?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Punishing Ourselves for the Past

    The other day, I ran into a woman that I hadn’t seen in over 15 years. I didn’t see her at first, but she recognized me and immediately made her way to where I was standing. It was so good to see her. We hugged each other and the first words out of her mouth were “How do you stay looking so young?” As many of you can attest, running after little ones will keep you on your toes, but nothing keeps you feeling and looking youthful like the grace of God on your life. When you have a heart for God, and you choose to dedicate your life to pleasing Him, He will keep you if you want to be kept. Living according to His Will has restorative power and helps us age gracefully. I’m not saying that we don’t grow older in our appearance, but His ageless grace is apparent on our faces when pleasing Him is our priority.

    All of us have made mistakes and haven’t always done the things we know are right. Some individuals are carrying around the guilt of those things, and this keeps them from walking more fully in God’s extraordinary grace. Sometimes this guilt comes from things we’ve done, and sometimes it comes from things that have been done against us. In some ways, we may be punishing ourselves by continually feeling sad and hurt because our hearts were broken by someone we truly loved. There are other ways that guilt punishes us as well. Sometimes its through the fear that is still operating in our souls because someone violated us when we were powerless to defend ourselves. These are wounds that the enemy would like to keep open, so that he can continue to trap us in fear, sadness, shame, and self-condemnation.

    Many of us allow mistakes and pain from the past to affect us in the present. We do this by spending a lot of time thinking about the situations and focusing on the harm they caused. This shows us that we’re still hanging on to these emotions and thoughts. God wants us to wear the sweet perfume of His grace and this requires us to stop punishing ourselves by rehashing and reliving the past. We’re giving negativity space and weight in our lives, and Heavenly Father wants to help us release it.

    In Luke 7:36-39 (NLT), Jesus Christ demonstrates the liberty and grace he extends through the record of a woman who had made some serious mistakes. In this passage, one of the Pharisees, a group known to deplore him, invited Jesus to have dinner with him. Jesus accepted the invitation and as they were eating, a certain immoral woman from the city heard he would be eating there and brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. This woman had a bad reputation in town because of her deeds of the past. Understanding the times in which this takes place is crucial, because it wasn’t easy even for a woman with a good reputation, so you can imagine what it was like for a woman with a soiled one.

    Some believe she was a prostitute, a label given to many women that were forced to make a living on their own because they didn’t have a husband. She might have come from a poor family with no pedigree and fallen in love with someone who promised to be her rescuer, but only used her for his pleasure. Heartbroken, but naïve’, perhaps she fell into this trap repeatedly. Men in the town began to talk, and because no man would marry her, she was labeled immoral. She was ostracized from good society, and no doubt felt life was a vicious cycle of which she had no power and no redemption.

    She had heard reports of Jesus’ ministry and teaching, and an urgency to see him ignited her heart. When learning he would have dinner at Simon, the Pharisee’s house, she made it her business to see Jesus, and she did not come empty handed, but came ready to submit herself in the most humble way she knew. She brought an alabaster box filled with perfume, intent to perform a service that was typically relegated to the lowest servant in the house. Luke 7:38(NLT) tells us, “Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them.”

    Again, we need to know a little bit more about the times to see the heart of what this woman did. Hospitality was greatly treasured back then. It was extremely important to the culture. It was customary to do things like have a servant standing by to attend the guest by presenting a basin of water and towel so they could wipe their feet. They wore sandals and their feet were always dusty, so this washing of the feet was a common courtesy. It was also customary to greet valued guests with a kiss on each cheek and to anoint their head with oil. Simon had been a poor host to say the least. He had performed none of these hospitable protocols for Jesus, the Son of the Living God.

    When at a dinner table back then, it was common for the feet to be postured off to the side, behind the body in a sitting position on the floor. It is possible that this is how Jesus was sitting when the woman came behind him to wash his feet. Simon was incredulous that Jesus had allowed this woman to touch him. She dared not kiss his head, knowing how she was viewed, but kissed his feet and anointed them with perfume. Jesus rebuked Simon for his neglect of common courtesies and in Luke 7:47-48 (NLT) said, “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love. Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.””

    In Luke 7:50, Jesus told the woman that her faith had saved her, and to go in peace. This is the grace that he offers to all of us. We must stop punishing ourselves by rehashing old memories of hurtful situations in the past. By doing this, we are trying to keep dead things alive. Jesus took it all to the cross and we need to leave it there so we can walk in the liberty he freely offers.

    Take a piece of paper and write down all the negative things that have happened to you in the past that are still affecting you today. Be as honest and thorough as you can. Spill your heart openly to God on paper. Remember that the more you deliver over to Jesus—the more you ask and accept his forgiveness and restoration, the more love you’ll show him. Then, when you’ve written it all down, pray over it. Tell the Lord that you’re giving everything on that paper to Him, and that through his blood—the blood of Jesus Christ, you are released from them now! Tear the paper into the smallest bits possible and dispose of them in whatever way that causes you to have a new memory—one of being released from everything that has held you back or robbed you of joy. Go in peace. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Punishing Ourselves for the Past”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Private Lives Brought to Light

    Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, taught a very powerful lesson in Matthew 6:16(NLT), and although he taught it in the context of the spiritual practice of fasting, it can be used in many other areas of our spiritual lives, namely, marriage preparation. He told the disciples, “And when you fast, don’t make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get. 17 But when you fast, comb your hair and wash your face. 18 Then no one will notice that you are fasting, except your Father, who knows what you do in private. And your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.” There were individuals who, when fasting, would allow their appearance to look miserable so that others would give them a stamp of “suffering for the Kingdom.” This was directly opposed to the actions that God rewards. It is very important to know what He will or will not reward, because as we prepare ourselves to partner, many of us are indulging behaviors and actions that work against our efforts.

    There’s also another extremely important component that is revealed in the words of Christ in this passage. Verse 18 tells us that there’s sanctity in moving in the things of God when no one notices what we’re doing. This is a jewel that millions upon millions of single Christians have missed. When we do the right thing for the wrong reason, we may be rewarded publicly by others, but that is the only reward we will receive. It’s the things we do in private that speak to the real truth of who we are, what we’re about, and how committed we are to God.

    In this same chapter of the Book of Matthew, Jesus continued to teach the disciples principles about Kingdom economy. He instructed the disciples in Matthew 6:19-21(NLT), “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” Treasures are the things that we value most in our hearts, and this is an area of our lives that significantly impacts our relationship with God. Our hearts belong to Him, because we gave them to Him when we accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior. Jesus tells us to make sure that we’re not filling our hearts with passions consumed by worldly things, because if we store them up, we’ll end up with nothing.

    We have to be so careful with our private lives, because we become passionately involved in our relationships with men and sometimes forget that the Father knows what we do in the dark. Being in a relationship with someone we’re not yet married to can present many challenges. This is why it’s so important to have a strong, made up mind about knowing how and when to say ‘no’ if ever you’re in a situation of temptation.

    In 1Corinthians 6:18, God tells us to flee sexual immorality, because it is a sin against our own bodies. This is a very private part of our lives. There are things we do in the dark that we want kept in secret, but these are the things that reveal what we’re treasuring. The force of attraction can be very strong. We say to ourselves, “a little flirtation won’t hurt anything…” but all it takes is a thought in our minds to create a climate for sin to creep in. We shouldn’t place confidence in our flesh this way, because it’s an area where many of us have compromised our stand on God’s Word.

    Jesus Christ said in Luke 8:17 (NLT), “For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.” God knows what we do in our private lives. Many singles have complained about the challenges of finding a treasure in the earth, and it is because they haven’t stored up their best in heaven. We may not be perfect in this area, but we must behave like we know Heavenly Father is looking at what we do in the dark, and He desires us to be better. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Private Lives Brought to Light”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Be Strong in God’s Grace

    God said in 2Corinthians 12:9(NLT), “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” He spoke these words to the Apostle Paul at a time when Paul was dealing with a troubling situation. He sought the Lord three times to remove this vexing problem, and 2Corinthians 12:9 is the spiritual strategy for success that God gave Paul. If we take some time to ponder this, we would see very clearly that Paul had a strategy in mind before he sought the Lord. He surmised in his thinking that removing the troubling thing from his life entirely was the way to go. And after he came up with this fix, he presented it to the Lord in prayer and hoped the Lord would cooperate. We can relate to this right? It’s often the approach many of us take about the issues we face. Well, as it turns out, the Lord had something better in mind, and as our problems persists, the strategy God gave Paul is the one we must put in place as well.

    The two-pronged spiritual strategy
    The spiritual strategy God gave Paul is two-pronged, and both prongs are instrumental to operating by faith. The first is that of God’s grace. To get a better understanding of God’s grace, we must look at the people God marked out as His own in Old Testament times. The Children of Israel were God’s chosen people. He didn’t choose them because they were so special, but because He is so special. His love is extraordinary, and through His relationship with the children of Israel, God demonstrates for us His unconditional love and grace.

    God’s grace is all we need
    The children of Israel broke their commitment to honor their covenant with God. Many of them disobeyed Heavenly Father and rejected His guidance and leadership. When Elijah the prophet began to complain about how far off the mark the Children of Israel had gone, Heavenly Father rebuked him. Elijah thought he was the only Israelite still honoring God, and this was not the case. God told Elijah there were 7,000 that hadn’t rejected Him and had not bowed to worship the idol god, baal. In the New Testament, in the Book of Romans, the Apostle Paul pointed to this Old Testament record. It shows us that we don’t always know the whole story and should stop speculating about things only God knows.

    In Romans 11:5-6(NLT), Paul said, “5 It is the same today, for a few of the people of Israel have remained faithful because of God’s grace—his undeserved kindness in choosing them. 6 And since it is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved.” Romans 11:5-6 gives us a beautiful illustration and definition of God’s grace. It is His divine favor that is bestowed upon us although we didn’t deserve it and could never do anything to earn it. He bestows His grace on us because He loves us. God chose the Children of Israel to serve Him, just as He chose us to be His sons and daughters. It is always God who does the choosing. Everything is driven by His Will.

    Hebrews 4:16(NLT) tells us, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Heavenly Father tells us to approach His throne of grace, not with our own plan, but with confidence that He knows what to do and how to do it—that He will not leave us defenseless but help us in our time of need. It’s HIS ability we must trust, not our own. He told Paul to shift his attention off the troubling situation and on to His grace, because His grace is all we need. It is one thing to hear the words, but another entirely to believe and trust them. Paul had to actually walk those words out in his life, and so do we.

    His Power works mightily in an atmosphere of humility
    A vehicle will not move if we have our foot on the brakes. The second prong is to remember that God’s power is unleashed through our humility, and humility requires us to take our foot off the brakes by recognizing we don’t have the answers. The Apostle Paul was able to boast in his weakness because this is when God was glorified through him. Let go and let God is a lifetime mantra. God knew what was necessary in order that Paul learned more fully to lean on Him. Paul had more to learn about the discipline of shifting to God’s grace and keeping it in high gear permanently.

    When we don’t trust God through our tough times, we run the risk of separating ourselves from Him when we should be drawing closer. This is especially true when we’re experiencing loneliness, impatience, emotional stress, and financial worries. The Lord God is mighty in battle! We must trust that He will fight for us, and that His grace is all we need. With Him on our sides, we cannot fail. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Be Strong in God’s Grace” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Igniting A Spark in His Heart

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT) tells us, “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” This is a great verse for anyone questioning whether God is in their corner when it comes to their quest to be married. Every time I read this verse, I’m reminded of a good friend. He said to me, “I’m no good at living alone or being by myself!” He made this statement a few years before he married his wife. He had a few relationships earlier on, but he struggled to find a balance between being a single father, prioritizing the needs of a significant other, and handling the pressure of being a successful professional. When his son went off to college, the need for someone with good maternal instincts slipped off the list, and he just wanted a companion to spend the rest of his life with. He’s an attractive person, and I found it particularly surprising how challenging he thought it was for him to find a compatible mate.

    A few years passed before he met someone that he was interested in dating long-term. He complained that many of the women he found attractive didn’t seem to have solid values or substance. They were ok with just casually dating and anything else that might come along with it. He’s a man with Christian values and wanted the woman he’d marry to not only appreciate this, but to be equally as committed to them as he was. You would think this wouldn’t be too challenging to find, and for him, it was.

    I believe the Lord allows us to hear and see certain things for a reason, and my friend’s situation opened my eyes wider to a few tweaks I needed to make. Sometimes, God lets us see and hear about situations so we will glean a bit of wisdom and take proactive measures to change or alter something in our own lives. Through James the Apostle, God tells us in James 1:5 (NLT), “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” Most single believers understand that wisdom is the principal thing and is necessary for a successful marriage, but they want to wait until they’re married to learn those foundational lessons. We need to be well-seasoned. This means the seeds that are planted now will blossom and be a part of us before we’re married. Then we will be able to nurture and support our spouses with compassion and understanding through tough times.

    My friend had attended plenty of functions where several Christian women were present, but he was waiting for a spark that connected with him. As I thought about his predicament, I began to understand that if our lights are hidden or we’re not in the habit of keeping them well lit, we may not be able to ignite a spark or recognize the need for it in someone else.

    We must ask ourselves if we have become so accustomed to our own habit patterns and thoughts about how we’ll function in marriage, that we don’t have room for God’s Will and Purpose. If our desire is to be mostly occupied with having our own needs met, we will be closed off from the one who seeks to fill a void. God tells us in Proverbs 18:22 that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. Finding a wife is admirable in the Father’s eyes. He instructs the man to do the finding, and He tells the woman how to guard her heart so she will be found. Both are equally important, but distinct, because this is the way God wanted it. We will be frustrated and disappointed in this area if we don’t honor God’s order; for He always knows best.

    Some single women that are successful in their careers may argue they don’t need a man to achieve success, and when they’re ready, they’ll begin to look for a spouse. Success in a career does not equate to a successful marriage. Jesus Christ reminds us in John 15:5 that he must be in the driver’s seat of our lives, and especially in our relationships. We don’t want to let the enemy in through pride. Marriage is God’s institution, and His way tells us that a mindset of unity, striving together, and appreciating each other’s uniqueness is required for a successful union. Having two people face challenges together extends a feeling of confidence and security about overcoming any obstacle.

    If we ask Him, through the Holy Spirit that indwells us, Heavenly Father will help us develop the qualities that will magnetize us to the presentation He will make. We need His spark through the Lord Jesus Christ, and if we are diligent to His Word we’ll have it. Some of us have never asked God to do this work within us, or to do it within the heart and mind of the man He will present to us. Now is the perfect time to add this very important request to your prayer life.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Igniting A Spark In His Heart” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Finesse of Giving and Receiving Constructive Criticism

    Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT) tells us, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” God’s wisdom is golden, and it will never fail, but many of us single believers find the first sentence in this passage challenging. When it comes to accepting the good counsel of others in the area of dating and relationships, some of us turn a deaf ear. We even get angry and think, “Who does she think she is? She’s not perfect and is in no position to be criticizing me!” When it comes to the world, we will accept counsel from all manner of individuals; we’ll even pay for it, and yet many of these individuals are not Godly. So, a person doesn’t have to be perfect to give useful counsel. Of course, a healthy dose of discernment in this area is biblical and beneficial, but this discernment shouldn’t exclude hearing sound wisdom from someone who tells it like it is. Sometimes we need to hear criticism, no matter the delivery. We need to try it on for size, and allow the Holy Spirit to confirm whether or not it fits.

    We all have habit patterns that we’ve developed over our lifetimes. Some of these are very entrenched. When this happens, it’s like we have on blinders. We can’t see where we may be going wrong, and we can’t tell when we’ve veered off the path God would have us to be on. In short, we can’t detect when we, ourselves, are the root cause of why we’re not receiving the blessing we desire most. We can’t see that something within us is blocking our blessing. In this state, very often we have to be shocked into paying attention.

    What does this look like? Well, sometimes people will bluntly blurt out a criticism at us, and we are appalled by their audacity. It’s cutting! They come at us sideways, and we’re immediately offended to the point of anger. Sometimes this is the only way we will pay attention to the truth we need to hear. We haven’t dealt with ourselves honestly in areas that are integral to further growth in Christ and to attaining the blessing we’ve been praying to receive. God has designed life to hurl wake-up alarms when we’re in this state, and sometimes, those alarms are anything but subtle.

    Even mature Christians have a hard time with constructive criticism, because it means you’re pointing out to them an error they’ve not confronted. People continue with poor or bad behavior because no one has pointed it out or confronted them in a way that gets their attention. It is not unusual for pain of some kind to be connected to their refusal to confront their stuff. As Christians, we have to be aware of this because the wisdom of Proverbs 29:1 (NLT) tells us, “Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.”

    Constructive criticism stings, but it’s good for us, and we would do well to stop reacting adversely and impetuously to it, and instead examine ourselves. This is the spiritually mature way to handle things. When you develop an understanding of how those little stings of constructive criticism from others help you to grow as a person, your level of compassion expands. You learn to be a person who can dole out constructive criticism yourself, and you’re more careful to do it in the most loving way possible. This is a discipline that will help us in our future marriages. When our hearts are stamped with the memory of what it feels like to be cut, we will learn to think before we speak and to be careful with our words.

    Ephesians 4:29(NLT) tells us, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Godly finesse teaches us that every situation must be handled differently, depending on the person, because not everyone reacts the same to criticism. When you’re dealing with a loved one, emotions can sometimes run high, so before giving constructive criticism, we should make sure to take the situation to God in prayer first. Our commitment to humble ourselves before Him and to be led by the Holy Spirit regarding what to say will ensure that our intention is in the right place. We will add a benefit instead of sabotaging the opportunity to be helpful.

    For ourselves, we would do well to remember that when we hear the truth from someone who lacks finesse about it, it may land harshly, but it does so because we have probably refused or neglected to hear it before. It may be our final opportunity to confront some baggage without facing a drastic consequence. When it comes to giving constructive criticism, we must make sure it’s in alignment with God’s Word, so that the wisdom we give will be sound and delivered with love. Whether we’re on the receiving or giving end of things, the piece of wisdom all of us must acknowledge is that failure is imminent if we veer off the path God has set for us. We can’t be stubborn or arrogant. Receiving constructive criticism or delivering it to others requires the finesse of spiritual maturity. We must let the Holy Spirit have the final word so a productive outcome is achieved for all concerned.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Finesse of Giving and Receiving Constructive Criticism”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Breaking the Chains of Loneliness

    In John 8:32(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” A person that has never experienced the bondage of things like addiction, debt, lack, loneliness, or imprisonment of any kind, may not appreciate the significance of the words of Christ in this verse. They may not be able to imagine the joy of being set free from those things. But for anyone that has ever been held captive by a condition, circumstance, or situation of any kind, the words of Christ in this verse bring forth God’s enormous love, grace, and power. Jesus has promised that once we know and trust God’s truth, it will literally transfer us out of what we’re in and release us into the glorious state of liberty! All of us should desperately want this, because when it comes to years of loneliness and being without the love we desire, we need to be set free.

    Words like independence, self-government, rights and privileges come to mind when we think about the word ‘freedom.’ It is a state of not being enslaved or imprisoned by anything oppressive. This is liberty! It is such an important word for the Christian. Before Christ came into our lives, we were enslaved by the bondage of darkness. We were held captive by the evil one who enslaves through ignorance and evil. In 2Timothy 2:25-26, through the Apostle Paul, God tells us to gently instruct people that oppose the truth of His Word. We’re instructed to pray that they will come to their senses and accept God’s truth, so they can escape the devil’s trap. God tells us that they are being held captive by the devil so they can do whatever the devil wants. This is the state we were in before we accepted Christ.

    Colossians 1:13(NLT) informs us of what God did for us when we invited Jesus Christ into our hearts. It says, “For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son.” We were in darkness, doomed to an eternal hell without Christ. You and I don’t have the capacity to visualize how truly tragic and horrifying a life in hell is, but we absolutely can visualize what it means to be free from hell’s grip, because we are living the reality of this liberty every day. As believers, if we haven’t come into an understanding about where we were before we accepted the Lord Jesus Christ, we won’t truly appreciate the liberty he has made available to us now. And if we don’t appreciate the liberty that Christ has given us, we won’t walk in it. You cannot fully embrace, walk, and live in something you’re not thankful to receive.

    Loneliness is defined as a sadness experienced by a person that doesn’t have friends, or who feels isolated because of feeling unloved and undervalued. It cannot be lost on us that loneliness is a form of bondage. In Luke 4:18(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free.” This is what Jesus Christ came to do. He came to give us access to a more than abundant life, and to break chains of oppression and bondage of every kind, so that we can walk in his liberty and be free!

    The way to receive what Jesus Christ has made available is to know the truth. Truth is medicine that is administered to the head and heart. This tells us that bondage is more than external circumstances. Bondage begins internally, in the mind and heart, and this is where the condition of loneliness must be first addressed. To do so, we must admit to ourselves how much (or how less) we have truly accepted the finished work of Christ in our hearts. We must examine if anything, including loneliness, has hindered our demonstration of gratitude to God for rescuing us from darkness and giving us liberty in Christ.

    Do you believe you are worthy and lovable? God says you are. Will you trust God and trust in His power and in His way? God challenges us to shift our focus off what we don’t have and consider the liberty He’s given us, as well as all the other blessings we have received through Christ! Do you believe in the depth of your heart and soul that God will bless you to cross the path of your future spouse? God has set you free from hell through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He’s saved you from damnation for all eternity. You will never see satan’s dwelling place or go through the everlasting torture the devil wants to inflict on you. Because of what God has done through Christ, you will never be separated from His love.

    Heavenly Father did all of this for us when we were at our worse. Consider the wealth of all that God has already done to demonstrate His love. John 3:16(NLT) tells us “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” God spared not His only Son so that all of us that are born-again could be His sons and daughters. Do you think a Great Big Wonderful God like this would deny you a loving spouse? It would grieve His heart for us to think that. He loves us so much, and we must realize this.

    Faith demands that you be deeply thankful, from the bottom of your heart, for what God has already done for you through Christ. He has delivered you from darkness. He’s broken the chains of loneliness for every person who believes in the finished work of Christ. Invite the Holy Spirit to do a work within your heart. Ask the Lord to help increase your faith so that you walk in God’s Will and in the liberty of knowing the truth! Your future spouse is going to greatly bless your life, and he deserves to meet you loosed and free.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Breaking the Chains of Loneliness” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • He Will Take What You Have and Make It Great!

    Witnessing a miracle thousands of years ago when our blessed Savior walked the earth was just as extraordinary as it is to witness a miracle today. However, one could argue that the needs of many people were much greater back then. During the time of his ministry, people were amazed and excited by the wondrous acts of love that Jesus was able to do. News spread quickly about his power and compassion. John 6:1 tells us that large crowds began to gather and follow him because they saw him miraculously heal the sick. During this time, they didn’t have hospitals or conveniently located doctors’ offices and medical treatment centers. Without a local community person that was well-versed in homeopathic herbs, many people suffered through diseases and illnesses in agony. The severity of their situations compelled them to zoom in on Jesus with razor-sharp attention. They were looking for a miracle, and he didn’t disappoint them. He won’t disappoint us either.

    John 6 tells us a great multitude followed him after Jesus left Jerusalem and was back in the area of Galilee. As soon as we hear the name ‘Jesus’ in the same sentence as the word ‘multitude’, our thoughts are immediately braced for the epic love transaction that is about to take place. We know certainly that our Lord and Savior was all too capable of doing the miraculous, and that the great need of others would be met by his willingness to perform according to the Father’s Will.

    People of all backgrounds, ages, and conditions were attracted to his great power, and he knew they would be. He wanted them to come to him because he possessed the healing, restoration, and love they desperately needed. We should all aspire to be spiritually strong in Christ, so that others can see the strength of our faith and glorify God. Our faith in God has drawing power, and if we remain close to Him, it will pull people and resources that will both bless us and allow us to be a blessing.

    As was his custom, you and I can guess with a great deal of probability that Jesus Christ had already received revelation about what was going to occur in John 6. In John 5:19(NLT), the preceding chapter, Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” No doubt Jesus spent quality time in prayer with Heavenly Father in the wee hours of the morning, and God had already revealed to him what was going to transpire and how he should handle the situation.

    It was around the time of Passover, and John 6:5(NLT) tells us that while sitting on a hill with his disciples, they saw the huge crowd coming towards Jesus. He turned to Philip and asked a question, “Where can we buy bread to feed all these people?” Jesus was not looking to Philip for a resolution, because he knew Philip had doubt in his heart. In John 6:7(NLT), Philip responded, “Even if we worked for months, we wouldn’t have enough money to feed them!” There were about five thousand men, and this count did not include the women and children that were there as well. Philip saw this situation as outside the limits of what they could handle. The revelation of the enormous power and authority of Jesus Christ slipped by him, and it really shows us how careful we must all be not to let this happen.

    The miracle that Jesus performed in John 6 would not be the first of which Philip would see. As a disciple, he had been with Jesus and had seen him do many marvelous works, yet, the crowd, the bigness of the situation, caused Philip to go to a place he had been many times before. It caused him to shrink back to doubt, because like many of us, doubt for him was comfortable. Understand that God is able and willing to go beyond anything you can ask or think, and the only thing that is required from us is to trust and believe in His ability and willingness.

    In John 6:9, Andrew spoke up and said, “Hey, there’s a boy over there, and he has five loaves of bread and two fish, but we can’t feed all these people with this little bit of food.” It cannot be lost on us that this boy with seemingly too little food to feed a multitude of thousands was strategically positioned for the purpose of God. Not only did he have the right amount of food, but he was in the right place at the right time. He had just enough for the miracle that was about to take place. This allows us to see that although we may not be the most talented; we might be the most attractive or intelligent. In fact, we may think we’re not enough or that we don’t have the qualifications to do all the things we desire to do, but God can take the little bit we have and make it great! We are exactly what we should be for Him to work a miracle.

    Jesus Christ fed thousands with five loaves of bread and two fish. He blew everyone’s mind by showing us the magnitude of God’s love and power. Heavenly Father is willing to do so much in our situations. He wants to show Himself strong on our behalves, but many of us will not give Him the little bit we have so He can make it great. Instead, we make excuses. We allow our minds and hearts to remain on the lower plain of doubt and insecurity, and because of this, we cannot see the hand of God reaching down to lift us up. Change this! Spend time in prayer and ask Heavenly Father to reveal His Will for your life. Ask Him to lead and guide you, and don’t hold back anything from God. Be always willing to present the little you have to Him in faith, and always expect that He will multiply it and make it great!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “He Will Take What You Have and Make It Great!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!