Find A Christian Man

Blog

  • List, Lust, and Lost-Potential

    This week, I met up with a fellow sister-in-Christ to talk about some ideas on coordinating a weekend getaway for singles. While having lunch, she mentioned she’d just recently met someone. She met him at a car dealership when she went for her routine maintenance. He’s a mechanic there, and they struck up a conversation while she was waiting on her car to be serviced. He politely asked if he could take her out for lunch one day, and they exchanged phone numbers.

    I was happy to hear this news. She’s been single for several years and has always complained about the difficulty of meeting someone new. Having given him her number, I was struck and surprised by the fact that she immediately attempted to size up why this man didn’t have a chance with her. In her estimation, he should have been much further along in life. The respectable, highly in demand skills of a mechanic she felt was beneath her standards. I sat and listened to her requirements of what and who he should be in order for her to consider going out on a date. It became a laundry list of “not good enough”.

    Everyone is entitled to their list of requirements, most single sisters I know have one, but for those of us in the Lord, we must be extremely careful. If our list doesn’t line up with God’s love, ‘Houston, we have a problem!’

    If you hear caboodles of sisters spin their criteria this way, which I have, the portrait that many of them have painted of pervasive singleness takes on another dimension. You start to see the gaps where the love of God has not been allowed in. They chose to believe that God is withholding the blessing of a spouse, when nothing could be further from the truth. Heavenly Father designed the universe in such a way that it responds incredibly favorably to those with an abundance of His love in their hearts.

    Jesus was a carpenter, and I think he would agree that being a mechanic is an honorable profession. He would not think himself above or below anyone’s occupation, but he would weigh the willingness of a person to grow in God’s love. 1John 4:17(NLT) tells us, “And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.” As joint-heirs with Christ, we live in God, all of us that are saved. One no more worthy or less in God’s eyes than the other. All of us are being perfected in Christ, and as our love for him grows, our level of genuine kindness and humility should as well.

    Through the Apostle Paul, God schooled us further on the extraordinary example of faith that Abraham left for us. He tells us in James 2:22(NLT), “You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete.” This is an amazingly profound piece of wisdom and truth. Abraham’s faith was a powerful combination of right believing and right actions, and this is what kicked his faith in high gear. His example teaches us that obedience to God’s Word is a very powerful thing.

    After having lunch with my sister-in-Christ, I realized how easily so many of us forfeit opportunities to share the light and love of Christ with others. Instead of seeing a person with the eyes of Christ as someone worthy to hear the truth, some of us quickly size them up for list, lust, and lost potential. It takes faith to magnetize our desires and draw the blessings we seek, and we need to make sure that our attitudes about men, marriage, and our own level of love is pleasing to God. That’s the only way that our faith is made perfect and achieves the powerful results we all want to see.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    “List, Lust, and Lost Potential”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Married and Unfulfilled

    Stephanie was nineteen years old when she married her husband. Surprisingly, she doesn’t have the most positive attitude about it. In fact, she often says that it wasn’t the wisest move to make. She said that if she had to do it all over again, she doesn’t think she would ever have gotten married. Preparing to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary this summer, she reminisced about how she and her husband met. “I can remember it like it was yesterday. I even remember the kind of car we were in when we shared our first kiss. It was a yellow Datsun with a red strip down the side…I was 17.”

    Everett was her first love, and she said she fell for him hard. She had to wait until she graduated high school before they could even go out on a first date. Shortly after that, they went to the justice of the peace and got married. Two years later they had their first child.

    Everett had grown up very poor. His mother struggled as a single parent and they lived in low-income housing. The working world was foreign to the way of life his mother had always known. Their rent was subsidized, and the additional $30 requirement each month was the only demand their mother placed on her grown children still living at home. Smart, handsome, and having greater opportunity than his mother, as a young man, Everett was never driven beyond the point of having just enough to get by. It would later turn into a lack of ambition that shaped much of his adult years.

    At 17, Stephanie didn’t seem to mind his way of thinking. All she saw was his beautiful caramel-colored skin and hazel-green eyes. They were head-over-hills in love, but that love waned over time. They’ve struggled financially most of their marriage, and Stephanie feels robbed in many ways.

    Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” The more we know about God and trust His love, the more we will trust our own ability and strength through Him. Heavenly Father has made it possible through the Lord Jesus Christ for us to live the highest and most fulfilling life of which we’re capable, but we absolutely must be guided by Him to achieve it. This is one of the reasons it is so important to know the Will of God concerning your life, so that you will not depart from it. When we don’t know God’s Will for us, we make decisions that seem right, but in the end, they’re not the wisest choice.

    God gives us those red flags. Stephanie’s biological dad believed the match between her and Everett to be a poor one, but she ignored her father’s advice. She has been determined to remain faithful to the marriage, and it has not been without its rewards. There have been many happy times, but she has a nagging suspicion that her life was not all it could have been. Her resentment has turned into deep sadness. Although Stephanie is thankful for her family and husband, she feels bad about herself and ashamed of what she feels to be a lack of personal fulfillment and accomplishment. Everett is not to blame. He had never been taught to believe and trust God beyond his own limited capability. The good news of Jesus Christ is that even when we make poor choices and decisions, even when we’ve spent many years feeling unfulfilled, there is still great hope. God can and does restore us.

    We all make mistakes. We made them before we became saved, and we made them after. Some were doozies. And yes, quite a few of us did indeed marry a person whose faith was perhaps small to begin with and remained that way. This does not mean that our faith has to be small, nor does it mean our love for them has to diminish. 2Corinthians 12:9 tells us that God’s grace is exactly the remedy we need, because His power and strength works best in weakness.

    1Corinthians 7:14 also tells us that the unbelieving husband can be made holy because of his wife, and vice versa. Yes, things are a bit more challenging when a believing spouse has tremendous faith and wants to do so much more, and the other spouse does not. The solution is the Holy Spirit. He’s the equalizer. We can’t navigate successfully without his leadership. It’s not about seeing another person—spouse, friend, mother, father, sister, brother—as someone that can rescue us from anything. God is our sufficiency. He’s our Rescuer. We should forever and always place our trust in Him. When we do, He’ll turn things around, not just externally and in our relationships, but in our hearts. We’ll find fulfillment and happiness in Christ! He’ll transform our regrets, and give us the spiritual eyes to see his light in our spouses.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Married and Unfulfilled”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Old Feelings Creeping Back in

    Ephesians 4:23 tells us to be renewed in the spirit of our minds. We are to continually read, study, and ingest the Word of God so that our minds remain sharp with wisdom and revelation. If our minds are not renewed with the knowledge of God’s Word, they might revert back to what they’re used to, which is those old habit patterns that cause us to self-sabotage. I was reminded of this when I had a discussion the other day with a close friend. She told me how much being celibate and trusting God has caused her to grow spiritually in the last year. Prior to her commitment of abstinence, she dated a man for three years. At a point where she thought he would propose, he expressed to her that he just wasn’t ready for marriage. She was courageous and took a stand for herself then, but old feelings are creeping back in.

    Relationships require glue, and hope is most definitely part of the bond. You meet someone that seems to fit, and you begin to emotionally invest by hoping for the best. You hope that the person’s level of commitment will at least meet yours, and that you both will want similar things out of life. You hope that the person will grow to love you as much as you love them. And because we hope, we sometimes ignore the handwriting on the wall. There are signs along the way that signal things might not be heading in the direction you assumed, but you continue to hope. Sometimes, the plain and simple truth is that you’ve invested your emotions in the wrong person. Your hope is deferred, and this can be a difficult thing to accept.

    Proverbs 13:12(NLT) tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.”  Over a year ago, when it became resoundingly clear that this man was seriously not ready for a marriage commitment, my friend realized that she owed it to herself to let go of what wasn’t working. Understandably, she agonized over the decision, and it hurt, but she was resolved that she was making the right choice. In her heart, she knew her stand on God’s Word was compromised by continuing to stay in the relationship. She felt so great about her commitment to put God first, but a recent phone call has brought back all those old feelings. She said, “I talked to him today, and I realized that I’m still in love with him. He has this hold on me that just doesn’t seem to go away!”

    Ephesians 6:10-12 The Message(MSG) reminds us, “And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.”  We forget that the enemy studies our weaknesses and attacks us when we’re most vulnerable. We also forget that he’s after our destinies, and he’s trying to swindle us out of them by dangling the low hanging fruit of second best.

    My friend had the benefit of having her ex tell her the truth. Some men never do. They continue to string women along with the hope of marriage, when they have no intention of ever fulfilling it. God wants us strong, and many of us struggle to be emotionally strong in our relationships with men, because we want their love and commitment so desperately. The spiritual lesson that no Christian woman should ever overlook is that our commitment to God through the Lord Jesus Christ must always and forever be first. We must never allow our obedience to God to take a backseat to pleasing anyone, including the significant person in our lives. Trouble in relationships will be on repeat until we learn this lesson, because our faith in God must be proven to pass the test.

    1 Peter 1:6-7 The Message (MSG) tells us, “6-7 I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.”  When triggered, old feelings are known to creep back in, but we must be strong in the Lord and close the door to them. Be confident that when you choose to honor God and overcome the temptation to acquiesce to something that isn’t God’s best, it may seem that your hope is deferred for a little while, but it isn’t in vain. God’s love restores whatever appears to be lost to us. If our faith is firmly in Him, He will cause our dreams to come true. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

     “Old Feelings Creeping Back in”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Is Mr. Right Saved?

    Someone said to me the other day, “You’re the only saved person I know!” When I heard this, I was instantly put on notice that my actions and conversations were on display; not only for this person, but for anyone that I come in contact with. They say that one represents many, and I have found this to be true. For every person that expresses an opinion to you or about you, there are others that feel the same way, although you might not personally hear it. So, when the person made this statement, I was immediately reminded that there are other unbelievers for whom my Christianity is front and center. It was not lost on me for one second that my influence is directly linked to the amount of God’s Word that I live. The person that made the statement to me cosigned this fact, and was moved to the point of letting me know that they have noticed the difference between me and others around them. Let this serve as a reminder that the person who is right for you may need to be captivated by your light.

    We are called by God to BE different and to MAKE a difference! He instructs us in Colossians 4:5-6(NLT), “Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.6 Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” You might not realize it, but there are tons of people that do not know about the Lord Jesus Christ. They were raised in families who have never worshipped God and don’t own a bible. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 9:37, over two thousand years ago, that the harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few. This is probably more true today than it was when he walked the earth.

    There are more unbelievers in this world than believers. As single Christian women desiring to be married, we can’t put our heads in the sand on this one. It is entirely possible that your future husband doesn’t currently have a tight relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ. When you meet him, does this mean you kick him to the curb?

    God’s instruction to us is to live wisely among the unbelieving. Living wisely means that we don’t invest romantic feelings of affection and intimacy before we know what’s up. Sometimes we miss the Will of God for our lives because we jump prematurely. God tells us to make the most of EVERY opportunity. He’s telling us here how to store up treasures for the future we’ve dreamed about. Through us, God will do something wonderful in the lives of those who see us live Godly before them. Our witness will be noticed, even when we think no one is looking.

    Jesus Christ said us in Acts 1:8 (NLT), “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  God will save people through our witness. Their lives can be transformed by the example of our Godliness, and by our moral character and behavior. The absolute worst thing we can do is to impede God plans for an individual in any way. We don’t want to be a hindrance; we want to partner with the Lord’s efforts, and He’s told us exactly how to get this done. He told us in Colossians 4:6 to let our conversation be gracious, so that we respond to everyone in the right way.

    Not only do we have to watch what we say and how we say it, we’ve got to be conscious about what we do and how we think.  We can’t just talk the talk, we’ve got to walk the walk. Single sisters must remember that just as God says in Proverbs 31 that a good wife is a gift to the man, a good husband is a gift to the woman as well. A devoted spouse is often one of the rewards of cultivating our relationship with God and growing into our true identities as representatives of Christ.

    Psalm 84:11 assures us that “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” One of the greatest mistakes that single Christian sisters make is to shortchange the impact of living the Word. This decimates their faith towards marriage. The Word of God is alive!  Hebrews 4:12(NLT) tells us, “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” The desire of our hearts must be to please God more than anyone else. We have to keep His Word alive in our hearts, so that our faith makes a strong impression about who we are. We cannot skimp on this. It’s too important.

    Is Mr. Right saved? He may not be right now, but if your commitment is on point with Colossians 4:5-6,  this could change!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Is Mr. Right Saved?”,written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • God’s Iron-Clad Guarantee

    Many single Christian sisters would very much like to be married. Getting married has held the number one spot on their prayer lists for quite a while. Some of them are crying out to God with a sense of urgency because of their age. They’d like to start a family and fear that if another year goes by without meeting their future husbands, they’ll be further away from the dream in their hearts. And we have to keep it real, many of God’s devoted daughters have maintained a vow of abstinence. They don’t want to slip up and do something against the Will of the Father, but wonder if they have the strength to keep holding on. Other sisters have been waiting on the right man for so long, that they’re losing faith he even exists. All of these sisters are wondering how much longer they must wait.

    Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” It may feel as though something is keeping the blessing of a husband at bay, but it isn’t Heavenly Father. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we’re doing everything we possibly can to receive the blessing, but the reality is that we may not be on the right path. This can be difficult to hear, but God’s Word is true. It is the only truth we can rely on with a guarantee of one-million-multiplied-by-infinity percent. God’s Word guarantees that He does not fail, that His Word is truth, and that He will never forsake us.

    With this kind of iron-clad guarantee from Heavenly Father, we have no other choice but to conclude that there must be something in our application of faith principles that isn’t quite lining up. We must remember that Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word. God’s Word summons faith. It causes it to come on the scene and get some stuff done. Are you speaking the Word enough? Are you thinking the Word enough? Because it is our responsibility, as doers of the Word, to give faith a shonuff’ workout. Faith ought to be so tired of you summoning it to come by the Word of God, that it has no other choice but to perform according to Heavenly Father’s iron-clad promises.

    We also have to ask ourselves if we are activating our faith through effective prayers. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8 (NLT), “For your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” God knows exactly the caliber of man you need to love and support you on your spiritual journey in Christ. There isn’t any detail about your future husband and impending marriage that God doesn’t know. The specificity of which God knows your need is beyond exact, yet He still tells you to ask. He still requires that we pray in faith. This means that there must be something about the asking that is important to the receiving.

    Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” Heavenly Father has given us precious promises in His Word. He loves it when we have high expectations, but sometimes we take His promises and try to mold them to fit into the plans we’ve constructed. This is where things fall apart. God will perform that which He has promised. Not trusting this is the reason many sisters spend longer than they’d like in wait-mode. Instead of leaning on Him in full surrender, we’ve tried to execute God’s purpose by fitting it into our small boxes, and this will not work. He’s a Great Big Wonderful God. He’s got strategies, resources, avenues, and paths that you and I could never imagine. We’re in no position to dictate to God. He is calling us ever so close to Him, because we must establish intimacy in our relationship with Heavenly Father before anything else.

    It’s this intimacy with God that allows us to hear His instructions, and to begin to walk them out through little steps of obedience. Are you willing to surrender your plans to Heavenly Father, or do you want things your way? Are you interested in pulling back all the layers, and holding yourself accountable to the truth? Are you praying that your future husband is prepared for your shortcomings? All of us have them. We’ve got idiosyncrasies and weaknesses, and keeping it 100, some of them have repelled the love we desire for ourselves. We’ve had issues from previous relationships that we haven’t dealt with. We haven’t sought the Lord for healing, nor have we had the patience to allow Jesus Christ to teach us to overcome.

    Sisters, spiritual preparation for marriage is a must, and you and I can’t get it done on our own. We must be led by the indwelling Holy Spirit to explore the areas that need God’s healing and power. And we must be obedient and humble enough to let Him take the lead. God sanctioned marriage. He loves families, and unity is His brand. His promises are iron-clad, and our faith in Him must be as well. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Iron-Clad Guarantee”, written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • You’re Stronger Than You Think

    The pain of a broken heart is no joke. Whether it’s because of the death of a loved one or because the person you love has chosen to move forward in the journey of life without you, it’s a hurtful and difficult thing. Emotionally, situations can be further complicated by the fact that sometimes we’re not sure how to grieve—how to move through that thick cloud of sadness without adding bitterness or blame to it. The absence of what used to be can leave such a vacancy that it seems nothing will ever fill it again. Not only is the thought of getting through the next five minutes agonizing, making it through the entire day is too much to fathom. How do you cope when everything about your life feels painful?

    We have all known people that have dealt with loss, and we’ve consoled them the best way  we knew how, but nothing quite prepares you for dealing with grief and hurt yourself. You have all these emotions, yet you still have to keep going to work, doing your everyday chores, and moving on with your life. The thing is, it isn’t the life you thought would be yours. In the back of your mind, you had always envisioned the pieces of your puzzle coming together. You might not have known exactly HOW they’d come together, but you believed they would in a way that would leave you in reasonably good shape.

    The surprise factor of loss or abandonment makes the blow even more devastating. It makes us question ourselves and sometimes even makes us question our faith. Although some believe that Heavenly Father causes suffering and uses it to punish or make people humble, spiritual maturity begs us to think higher than this. Doing so will allow us to grow and heal from love and not continue to linger in pain and fear. All suffering has its root in some plot of the enemy. Pain didn’t exist until the devil brought it into the world by tricking Adam and Eve to sin. Romans 5:12(NLT) tells us, “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.”

    Whatever one believes about suffering, it is in fact a part of life. But even though you might feel as though your mind is all over the place, and your heart is being pulled in a million different directions, pain doesn’t have to crush you.

    The pieces of your puzzle may be scattered all over the floor, but God wants you to know that it IS possible for them to come together. In Romans 8:28 (NKJV), He tells us, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”  It is possible for your life to get better. It is also possible to change into a stronger YOU. In Mark 10:27, Jesus Christ said all things are possible to the person that believes and trusts in God!

    Hurdle one is to forge even the tiniest opening in your mind and heart for hope to come in and visit a while. One of the ways to do this is by slowly but surely accepting the reality that your puzzle isn’t going to look the way you thought. When it comes to the tone and texture of your life, YOU’RE not going to look the way you thought either. It’s a new puzzle, and there are pieces that you can’t identify right now. That may be a little scary, but God very clearly tells us in 2Timothy 1:7 (NKJV), “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

    Heavenly Father has given you a spirit of power, love, and sound mind. This is a package of resilience and strength! Romans 11:29 declares that His gifts can never be withdrawn. Even in the midst of heartbreak, you’re stronger than you think. God is inside you, and through His Spirit, He’s working within your heart and mind. He’s helping you to put the pieces of the puzzle together, so that your faith in His love and power grows. Be encouraged in Him.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “You’re Stronger Than You Think”,written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • The Yardstick Lesson

    My daughter asked me the other day, “Mom, when people grow up, do they live by themselves?” I said, “Well, yes, sometimes they do. Some grow up, get married, and have families.” She replied, “No, not me. When I grow up, I want to stay at home with you.” As the old saying goes, “When a child is old enough to leave home, a loving mother makes the child want to stay, and a good father makes sure they don’t.” As a mother, of course it is endearing to hear your children express such sweet sentiments. You want them to feel loved and supported. You also want them to be prepared to handle the world on their own, and that’s why the yardstick lesson is such an important one.

    A yardstick is a measuring rod that is a yard long, and measures things by inches. Its use is so widespread that we frequently use the word ‘yardstick’ as an indicator or gauge for something. In common terms, we refer to it as a hypothetical way of comparing standards or benchmarks. For instance, a person might say that the frequency of a man’s contact and communication is a yardstick for measuring his interest in the relationship. Understanding the way this extremely simple measuring tool works can help us plot, plan, come close, or keep our distance.

    Some of the biggest mistakes in life are because of toxic associations. We let the wrong people get too close and sometimes push the right people away. God warns us in Proverbs 14:7(NLT), “Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.” This is a lesson that many of us learn the hard way. As adults, we sometimes wish we could turn back the hand of time or have a do-over when it comes to failing to discern. We wish that we would have recognized certain tendencies, or kept our distance to give ourselves time to see the real deal.

    We want our children to grow up with a hopeful view of the world, but today’s complexities challenge us to be incredibly smart and spiritually wise about how we do this. We have no other choice but to instill within them a very sharp discernment about things like the character, motive, and intentions of people they don’t know very well. We have to model this for them by keeping our own radar in check.

    Just as we want our children to learn to keep the wrong people at arm’s length, God wants us to be wise in this area as well. He’s given His Word to guide us. In 1Thessalonians 5:22 (NLT), He warns us, “Stay away from every kind of evil.” God wants us to stay away from evil because it has no place whatsoever with Him. David, the psalmist, wrote in Psalm 5:4 (NIV), “For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome.”  If evil people are not welcome with God, they ought not to be welcomed by us.

    Heavenly Father takes it a step further and tells us exactly who and what these evil folks are.  2Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT) says, “3 You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. 2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. 3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. 4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. 5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!”

    The yardstick lesson is a much needed one to learn from God’s Word, so that we’re careful about our associations, and won’t invest time and energy into someone that isn’t of the Lord. It’s seeking God’s guidance through the Holy Spirit about who we should and shouldn’t allow into our lives. We would do well to remember that there are going to be some people we must love from a distance. Even those who may seem perfectly harmless can bring with them a ridiculous amount of toxicity, and we need to be careful and spiritually wise.

    Until we get a green light from heaven with new folks, we need to bring out that trusty yardstick, and use it. Our children can learn by our example. If we model both how to be kind and keen, they’ll learn to always seek the counsel of the Lord and keep a healthy distance from anyone that truly doesn’t have their best interest at heart. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “The Yardstick Lesson”, written for findchristianman.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • This Is No Walk in the Park

    What do you do when you find yourself in a place in life that you never expected? Ephesians 1:3 tells us that God has blessed us with all spiritual blessings, so He’s given us everything we need to be equipped for anything the enemy throws our way. Still, life has a way of delivering some hard punches. You can end up in places you never in a million years thought you’d be. We make mistakes we never thought we’d make. We take career paths and jobs that are a far cry from where we thought we’d be, and we end up in relationships and sometimes marry people that were not who we thought they were. This can land us in a really dark place. So much so, that some of us begin to question God.

    When the unexpected hits, sometimes it brings an avalanche of other challenges as well. Marriages fail, finances become exceedingly tight, you’re behind in the bills, and kids have needs you’re not making enough to meet. All of this coupled with dealing with the emotional pain of a broken or lonely heart can do a number on a sista’s soul. You might pray relentlessly for the Lord to take away the hurt, but that dark cloud seems to loom.

    Many women that came before us endured similar and often far worse challenges than what we face today. This doesn’t diminish or invalidate our pain, but it should remind us that trouble does indeed come, but it doesn’t last always. I can hear the words of my grandmother saying, “Honey, the Lord won’t put more on you than you can bear.” This statement was tremendously comforting to her and many seasoned spiritual veterans, but we must never overlook the reality that God’s intention is that we grow in the knowledge of His Word. Our fore-mothers were forces to be reckoned with, but they didn’t have the exciting revelation that we have today. We know more about Jesus Christ and the strength of his resurrection power than perhaps any other group of people in history. This sets the stage for our overwhelming victory, and we ought to be looking forward to it in faith.

    There are droves of Christians that believe God punishes people by placing tribulations and burdens on them, but 1John 1:5 very clearly tells us that God is light and has no darkness at all. God doesn’t place burdens on us; He invites us to lay our burdens upon Him, because He is more than able to handle them. Confronting this truth really does give us a little bit of a window into the root of the struggle. Life is no walk in the park, because the enemy is going to throw darts at us. And when our backs are against the wall, we will be forced to confront exactly what we believe about God. Do we believe Him to be a merciful God who rescues us continually, or will we believe the lie that the devil wants us to believe, and think that love equals punishment?

    What we believe about Heavenly Father’s love for us is extremely important and consequential. It is the springboard that lifts us higher in Him. If you believe that God wants you to continue to suffer, the span of your reach is cut off. It stifles not only the freeing and positive influence that you’ll have on others, but it places a choke-hold on your confidence and hopes. God doesn’t want that for any of His children. This is why He’s helping you to move to a place in your mind and heart where you don’t view the resolution of your problem as the foundation for a happy life. Faith in God’s power and love through Jesus Christ is your foundation, and the joy of the Lord is your strength!

    Whether it’s the man leaving, the relationship not working out, or money woes, God wants us strong and leaning on Him for our everything. Ephesians 6:10-12 The Message (MSG) tells us, “And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the devil and all his angels.”

    It’s true that life is sometimes no walk in the park, and with our backs against the wall and no one to depend on, it feels like we’re out there with nothing to hold us up. It can be such a panicky place, and a lot of us are worrying ourselves to poor health because we’re so filled with doubt. That panicky feeling is fear, and God has given us everything we need to flip it into faith. Heavenly Father is light. His love is light, and because there are no strings attached to His love, and it’s so effortless and free, it might feel as if there’s nothing holding us up, but He’s got us! He won’t let go, and we shouldn’t either. We must hold firm to our faith and trust that victory is ours through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “This Is No Walk in the Park”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Return to Sender

    If you were to receive a letter or package in the mail that doesn’t belong to you, normally, the postal service will allow you to write “return to sender” on it; they will return it to the original sender at no cost. This is an antidote for life. When it comes to receiving anything that isn’t authorized by God Almighty Himself, it needs to go back to where it came from. Whether it’s a job, a new relationship, or even financial increases, you want to make sure that anything and everything new in your life has your name on it, that it’s been stamped by the Lord Jesus Christ and is completely orchestrated by Heaven above.

    You may think that’s going a bit over-board, but really when it comes to our lives, we can’t afford to make costly mistakes, because they consume a lot of time. They deplete our stamina and cause us to lose momentum on our Christian journeys. We can regain stamina and momentum, but time is lost forever; so, we need to be careful about the decisions and choices we make. Regardless of what it may be, you want God’s approval above all else.

    My father would say to my sisters and me, “When you lay your heads down on your pillow at night, you are the ones that have to be happy and at peace with whatever choices and decisions you’ve made today.” This piece of wisdom has stuck in the recesses of my mind for many, many years, because it cuts straight to the chase of the monumental effect that one simple choice can have on one’s life.

    Some years ago, a close acquaintance was in the real estate business and owned quite a number of properties. He was very well known as a savvy and successful business man. I told him I was in the process of looking to purchase my first home, and he was very eager to assist.  He even went so far as to set up a meeting for me with one of his top associates to discuss different options for first-time home buyers. Once it came down to signing some paper work, my spirit whispered that this was not the right move, and that working with my friend was not the right direction.

    I thought, “Why am I second guessing this?” It seemed logical. My friend had been in this real-estate game for many years. He knows all the ins and outs of home-buying, and he had seemingly popped back in my sphere at a very opportune moment. At first glance, it looked as if my friend was sent by God for the purpose of helping me navigate this big purchase, but internally, the Holy Spirit was not confirming the package. While God certainly can move and work through anyone to bless His people, our first responsibility as His children is to be attentive to His Spirit, and the indwelling Holy Spirit was nudging me to examine the package I had received more closely. It didn’t have my name on it.

    The enemy is insidious and will use even well-meaning individuals to counterfeit a blessing and trick us into accepting something that was never meant for us. In John 8:32(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” He’s telling us about the confirmation of the truth; it makes us free. There’s a feeling of peace associated with this freedom, and whenever we don’t have it, the Spirit will call attention to the absence of it. He, the indwelling Holy Spirit, was pulling me in another direction, and I chose to follow Him. I trusted God to steer me, and of course, He backed my faith every step of the way. This is how many single women have to be when it comes to new relationships with someone that is seemingly delivered into their lives. We can’t assume this person is sent from God. We must be patient and wait for the Lord’s confirmation.

    God tells us through the Apostle Peter in 1Peter 5:8(NLT), “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” As God’s people, our posture should always be one of alertness, paying attention to what is happening internally, in our spirit-man, and also paying attention to what is going on externally, examining anything that is sent our way.

    Psalm 37:5 (NLT) tells us, “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you.” Life is filled with complex choices and challenges, and this is why we must seek God first in all that we do, and commit everything to Him. As His children, we only want to invest in those things that He has put His stamp of approval on. If He hasn’t, the Holy Spirit will let us know, and we can then mark it “return to sender” at no cost. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “Return to Sender!”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • After the Fall

    God tells us in 1Corinthians 4:20 (NLT), “For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power.” Heavenly Father has to remind us of a few things in His Word, because sometimes we allow life to get in the way. We forget that He’s given us access to an extreme level of power through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. No matter what you’re facing or what you’re going through, you will always have the opportunity to become stronger through Christ. He is the true example of strength. Hebrews 4:15(NIV) tells us, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” He faced it all, and in God’s Word, He tells us how we can rise again, no matter how many times we fall.

    Sometimes, we fall really far off the path of righteousness because we’ve made a wrong choice or bad decision. We do something that nowhere resembles the kind of person we know we should be. As a Christian, it’s natural to feel really sorry about what we’ve done. We should seek God’s forgiveness in the most earnest way that we can. 1John 1:19(NIV) tells us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Only God can purify us. We can’t do this ourselves. One of the greatest lessons that our mistakes teach us is that we need to depend and trust in God’s power, because He’s working in us.

    We can become very discouraged when it looks like we just can’t overcome a certain sin. Maybe we’re struggling with sadness or feelings of unworthiness from a failed relationship, or we’re dealing with shame from losing a job or home. Some of us are not where we thought we’d be in life, and it seems that people don’t respect us because of it. In these times, God wants us to remember that Jesus Christ has done for us what no other could do. Because of his sacrifice and resurrection, we have victory no matter what our situation looks like. We are going through, and if we keep the faith, we will always come out on the other side better than we ever could have imagined.

    Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in Romans 6:6-8(NIV), “6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—7 because anyone who has died has been set free from sin. 8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.” It isn’t the beating ourselves up and feeling bad that gets us in line. The thing that causes us to become stronger spiritually is growing in our knowledge of Christ and believing in what he accomplished for us on the cross.

    Through Jesus Christ we have the power to overcome any obstacle or sin, because God’s Word declares that we are no longer slaves to sin. He says that we are to be humble like little children; and like little children, sometimes we fall and get scraped up or have a bruise here and there; we may even cry about it.  But this hurt or pain we feel from falling is never meant to last. It helps to remind us of the things that don’t work, and most importantly, it reminds us that we have a loving Heavenly Father that cares about us deeply.

    The heart of God is that nothing stands between us and our relationship with Him, that is why He’s dealt with the sin issue through Jesus Christ. When we fall down through some of the mistakes, missteps, and mishaps that happen in life, we have a choice. We can either wallow in self-doubt or self-condemnation, or we can enjoy what Christ has accomplished for us on the cross, and be thankful to God for His enduring mercy and grace.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “After the Fall”, written for findchristianman.com©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!