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  • Foolish Decisions that Look Smart

    “Common sense is not so common.” I chuckle to myself every time I hear this wise old saying. There is so much truth in those words. Common sense is the good sound judgment that is presumed most people will possess. Each of us come to the table with our own uniqueness, and our brains might process and catalog information differently, but there are some things that one would hope is common to most human beings. This commonality when it comes to practical matters allows us to communicate and understand each other. It can at times be the framework to begin new relationships. The truth is that some of us just plain ol’ don’t have common sense in certain areas, and sometimes we need some extra help.

    Proverbs 9:8-9 (NLT) is one of those mega verses that will help us to have success in any area of our lives. It says, “8 So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser.” God tells us very plainly not to worry about the haters. They’re out there. They don’t want to see us shine, will try and squash our success, and they hate what we stand for. Jesus Christ told us in John 15:18-19(NLT), “18 If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” So, it should come as no surprise when folks that don’t even know our hearts will automatically dislike or hate us, and will do so for no other reason than we represent Christ.

    Heavenly Father also draws a distinction and contrast in Proverbs 9:8-9 that we can’t afford to ignore. He tells us that wise folks have a certain characteristic in common. If you correct them, they will love you. Wise people have an innate desire to become wiser. They understand that iron sharpens iron, and will not reject wisdom, but know that it is to their full advantage to accept it.

    I’m reminded of someone that hasn’t spoken to her mother in over three years. She’s planning a fall wedding and having difficulty with the thought of not having her mother be a part of it. I asked, “Why not just pick up the phone and call her?” She said that she just couldn’t, because her mother still hasn’t apologized for choosing her sister’s side of an argument. If she can hold a grudge for this long against the woman that birthed her, imagine what she will do with her future husband.

    The wisdom of common sense is essential, but we so often miss it. This woman’s future husband, who is fully aware of the issue, hasn’t yet seen his fiancée’s resentment against her mother for the red flag it clearly is. Holding on to a grudge will block the flow of God’s love. It will destroy the goodness that love in our relationships can bring as well.

    My grandmother use to say, “you can’t teach a fool nothing.” I thought it was a harsh statement, but as I’ve grown, I understand that being foolish is often preventable and avoidable. We yield to foolish whims sometimes because we will not humble ourselves to the wisdom of God’s Word. Many of us want instant love as quickly as we can have it. We want quick food, we want to get to our destinations quick, and we want resolutions on the double. When this is our attitude, we’re vulnerable to foolish decisions that look smart.

    The truth is that many of us are watering down our faith because we’d rather have milk than meat. We’d rather leap than take the time to really examine what’s under the hood. If you’re looking to partner well, you must avoid this stance at all cost. Proverbs 14:12(NLT) warns, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.” Children of God should always want to do things God’s way. We think we have it all figured out, but God sees the entire scope of our lives, and His Word will never lead us astray. We truly need to build a relationship with Heavenly Father that is anchored in humility and trust. When it is, common sense will lead us to lean on Him and wait on His instruction, because His wisdom will always help us avoid making foolish decisions.■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Foolish Decisions that Look Smart”,written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Not Mine, But Your Will Be Done!

    Whether we witness it now or later, there will soon come a time in all our lives when we’ll face a crucial decision. It will either solidify the foundation on which the rest of our lives will be firmly anchored in Christ, or it will send us spiraling down into the camouflaged darkness that the world offers. We will either love the Lord and be committed to him, or love the world and all that it represents. As we see what is happening around us, we should recognize that it’s a now or never kind of urgency. While the choice is always ours to make, our Heavenly Father wants us to follow His Will for our lives. He has left the door open for those who want to walk through it, so they can freely receive the blessings of His provision.

    Years ago, there were those in the faith that warned of perilous times ahead, like the ones we’re living in now. Many of us paid them no mind, but they were spot on, and the times continue to become more and more perilous. How grateful we should be that we can take refuge in God.

    David, the psalmist wrote in Psalm 143:7-10 (NLT), “Come quickly, LORD, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. 8 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. 9 Rescue me from my enemies, LORD; I run to you to hide me. 10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.”

    When tribulation paints a picture like the troubling one that David expressed to God in Psalm 143:7-10, some Christians can truly relate. They are suffering mentally, physically and emotionally from the pressures of life, and they may even feel like heading in the opposite direction of God’s love and protection. Our Heavenly Father wants our faith to be at a point that we never consider something like this. Yes, we have an enemy that knows what buttons to push, but God tells us to keep our eyes continually focused on Him and not on what the devil is doing. At some point, we must recognize that although tribulations challenge us in ways that can be troublesome, they also press us further into our destinies; they will ultimately challenge us to make decisions about who we really are at our cores.

    The enemy sends troubles and distractions to defer our destinies and to try to cause separation between us and God. We must open our eyes and see through his tactics. At the worse times of our lives, we should draw closer to God, because it’s in the struggle that we can see His love greater and stronger. He tells us in 2Corinthians 12:8(NIV), “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

    There’s a surrendering that must take place in our lives. Some of us have been struggling a long time with loneliness, broken marriages, sadness, physical ailments, and/or one financial crisis after another. We could never have imagined that life would be as challenging as it is, or that our hearts would ache to the degree that they have. God doesn’t ever want us to be unhappy, sad or depressed. He doesn’t want us to go through hard times, but we’re human and we’re going to make mistakes. God wants us to come to Him with all our stuff, because He has the remedy. In Mark 11:22 (NLT), Jesus Christ gives us four simple words as the ‘cure all’ for all that we face. He said, “Have faith in God.”

    When we don’t trust God through tough times, we do separate ourselves from Him through a lack of faith in His love for us. Doubt, fear, and unbelief are not a part of God’s Kingdom. They belong to the kingdom of satan, so when we allow our minds and hearts to camp out in these proponents of darkness, we block the blessing God wants us to have.

    We need to get it in our cores that we are powerful individuals, not in and of ourselves, but through the Spirit of Christ that dwells within us. Life was not designed by Heavenly Father to beat us down. To see this truth, we need to surrender our will for God’s Will, and let Him have His way. Things in the world might get worse, but God has given you and me a way to get better, rise higher, and become stronger through the Lord Jesus Christ. Let’s resolve to pray with greater faith, and ask God to teach us His Will. He will show us where to walk if we give ourselves to Him. He will transform us on the inside as we remain committed to surrender to His Will, and keep our minds and hearts focused on His Word.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Not Mine, But Your Will Be Done!”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Down on One Knee

    When a man decides to go down on one knee and ask a woman to be his wife, it means he’s seen something within her that has touched his heart profoundly. He’s determined that his search is over, because he’s discovered in her what could not be found in others. This is a choice that he’s made in every way; mentally, emotionally, physically, and most importantly spiritually. It’s a choice that signals heaven above, and everything beneath it, that he intends to spiritually join so tightly with a woman that the two become one. This is what many single women are hoping and praying will soon happen to them.

    Going down on one knee is a significant gesture. We see a form of this in the Word of God. Regarding the judgment seat of Christ, Romans 14:11(NLT) tells us, “As surely as I live,’ says the LORD, ‘every knee will bend to me, and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.’” Philippians 2:9-11(NLT) says, “9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Every knee will bow to the Lord Jesus Christ. This is truth! It will happen, of this we can be sure.

    From this truth, we have an inkling of what is necessary to demonstrate extreme reverence, honor, and respect. Anything glorious deserves glory. Anything respectful deserves respect. To bow before Jesus Christ is not only an incredible privilege, it is also acknowledgement of our understanding of who he is. In His Word, God teaches us that actions convey what is in our hearts, and when those actions match the truth of God’s love and majesty, the jewels of commitment and unity are revealed. And so it is with a man’s understanding of the blessing of a wife. His reverence to God, to the institution of marriage, and his respect for the commitment he is aiming to make; all of this is evident when he goes down on one knee.

    Love’s barometer
    Ephesians 5:25(KJV) is God’s requirement to husbands. It says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” This verse is a ‘LOVE’ barometer for every woman. It gives us the exact point of reference needed to measure our own expectations, and to also measure a man’s capacity to love. If the Lord has commanded a man to love his wife in the same way that Christ loves the church, then the man must be capable of doing so. It would be a huge affront and infraction to believe that a man lacks the capacity to love this way, for God has mandated that he must, and therefore can.

    As a woman believing to marry the person God has ordained to walk with you through life, you must have a firm grasp of God’s standard of how you should be respected as a Daughter of Zion. You must also make sure you are respecting yourself as God’s precious one, and that your mind and heart are full of hope and faith. We don’t have to strive and struggle. Heavenly Father has got this! He will see to it that we are loved in a way that pleases Him IF we are committed to seek His Will in all we do. If for one second, your beliefs run counter to this, you are hurting yourself. Our wrong beliefs are a buffer between us and the blessings we seek. Wrong believing is doubt, and doubt does not come from the Kingdom of God, but from the kingdom of satan. There should be no place for doubt in the heart of a believing Daughter of Zion, because doubt repels love and doesn’t attract it. Do yourself a favor, trust in what God has for you!

    Sow on good ground
    1 John 3:18 (NLT) teaches us, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” It’s been said time and time again that getting married and saying “I Do” is the easy part; it’s staying together that snags people up. Sometimes people marry before they’ve given themselves time to find out if it’s a divine presentation. Their chief motivation is physical rather than spiritual. To sow is to invest, and when we invest our hearts into a person, and do so in a way that doesn’t please God, we’ve not invested wisely. We’ve not shown the truth by our actions, because we’re not acting in God’s love, but perhaps we’re acting out of lust or desperation; both are beneath our privilege as God’s beloveds. A better way is to get tight with God so that we’re confident our motives are pure and based on the love of Christ. Best practice is to inspect before we invest. We need to hear from God as to whether we’re sowing on good ground.

    Worth the wait
    When a man bows on one knee to ask for his queen’s hand in marriage, it symbolizes his willingness to submit all that he has in service, love, and support of her. He’s willing to decrease so that they can increase together as they stand before God in Christ. It’s an awesome aspect of God’s plan of unity. As women of God, we should never try to force a man to honor us in this way. The grace of God we exhibit will compel him to do so. This is an honor that is always going to be worth the wait. 

    God has called us to be His Holy Daughters, to be women of great love, compassion, and care. The light of our hope will forever be in the promises of God. We should be confident that Heavenly Father never disappoints, but loves us unconditionally. His greatest delight is to see us happy and blessed. So, let your confidence in your future marriage and spouse be anchored in your faith in the goodness of God. Remain positive in thought and mind, because God is swelling the well of gratitude in your soul, so that you can know the depth of honor you’re receiving when your future husband goes down on one knee. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Down on One Knee”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • When Heaven over Our Heads is Brass

    In 2Corinthians 4:18 (NIV), through the Apostle Paul, God gives us an incredible piece of wisdom that is fundamental to living a life of abundance and peace. This verse says, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”  The world has made a habit of focusing its attention on things like fame, fortune, celebrity, fashion, and financial wealth and power. These are the ‘seen’ things that give people a false sense of security. God doesn’t want us to focus our attention on those things because they are not real. They are temporary, and if we put too much stock in them, we will lose something that we can’t get back.

    Jesus Christ posed a very pivotal question in Mark 8:36(NLT). He asked, “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” He’s letting us know under no uncertain terms that it is very possible to gain the things that the world deems worthy and lose one of the most important gifts that we’ve received, which is our souls. There are many individuals that are oblivious when it comes to the inner sanctum of their souls, and this is one of the reasons why they can’t discern what is or isn’t real.

    One of the most important abilities to possess in life is spiritual discernment. Everyone will not have this ability. There are some people that will never be influenced or care about the gospel of Jesus Christ, and some of these individuals might claim to be Christians. As women of God that are seeking to go higher in Christ, there must be a distinct difference between us and them, and this difference is evidenced by our concern for the condition of our own souls. When we know that this earth is not our home, and that we are just passing through; and we understand that our treasures are laid up in heaven, our choices and decisions become very important to us.

    I am reminded of a professional woman I know that is always flawless. Her makeup is perfect, designer shoes and bags are her staple, and the wardrobe is always on point. She considers herself a Christian, and it is rather common knowledge that dating married men is not off limits for her. She made the statement, “I’ve been living this way for years, and I haven’t had a problem.”  This is a serious condition of denial, arrogance, and self-punishment. If we can’t discern when we’re inflicting harm on our own souls, then we certainly won’t be able to recognize when someone else is doing it.

    Obedience is a spiritual discipline that we learn to embrace, and its best teacher is consequence. A person who ignores their soul and deprives it of spiritual nourishment from God’s Word will probably not be able to discern when the devil is squeezing life’s vital essence right out of them. They’re in serious trouble and don’t even realize it. The sobering truth is that bad choices and wrong decisions will never escape consequences. No matter if someone has been living a certain way for one or twenty years, when we do something that separates us from the Will of God, and have no deep and Godly sorrow for it, we are in grave danger of making hell our home.

    We have freedom of will to live our lives in whatever way we choose, but God wants us to live a rich and fulfilling life, and Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33(NKJV) that the way to do this is to make sure that we seek God’s Kingdom and His righteousness above all else. If we don’t do this, if we choose sin over love, we may look like a million bucks on the outside, but as Deuteronomy 28:23 warns, the heaven over our heads will be brass; it will be closed to us. We should do everything within our power to avoid that kind of life. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “When Heaven over Our Heads is Brass”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Lesson #5, Never Look Back!

    In Genesis 19, we learn more about the biblical record of Abraham’s nephew, Lot. After the death of Lot’s father, he went to live with his uncle, and Abraham loved him tremendously. Lot became prosperous just like Abraham, and when the Lord commanded Abraham to move to Bethel, Lot tagged along; but their households were too big for the one area. It was necessary for them to split. Lot ended up settling near the city of Sodom, and at first glance it seemed like a nice place. It was well-watered and the land had fertile soil, which was very suitable to maintain his crops and livestock, but as this notorious record in Genesis 19 bears out, all was not as it seemed in Sodom and its nearby city, Gomorrah. One of the greatest and most wise lessons that we must learn, particularly as single Christian women, is that you can never judge a book by its cover. This is lesson number one.

    The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were filled with wickedness, so evil in fact that these cities had to be destroyed. When the Lord told Abraham this, he was distraught, because he was afraid of what would happen to Lot, his nephew, but our God will not abandon those with a righteous heart towards Him, and this is undoubtedly lesson number two.

    It cannot be ignored that with the vile wickedness of these two cities, there was only one good man living among the inhabitants, and it was Lot. Genesis 19:1 tells us that when the two angels sent by God came to the entrance of Sodom, Lot was sitting there and stood up to greet them. Then he welcomed them by bowing. Lesson number three, humility is always the dominant characteristic of a good man.

    These angels must have looked like men, but it isn’t too much of a stretch to assume that Lot may have discerned something angelic and divine about them. He offered to wash their feet, and extended generous hospitality. Genesis 19:4-5(NLT) says, “4 But before they retired for the night, all the men of Sodom, young and old, came from all over the city and surrounded the house. 5 They shouted to Lot, “Where are the men who came to spend the night with you? Bring them out to us so we can have sex with them!” Lot stepped outside and pleaded with the men of Sodom to stop their wicked intentions. He even offered his own virgin daughters in exchange for the protection of these men. This willingness on the part of Lot to make such an extreme sacrifice for these messengers of God reveals the true nature of Lot’s heart. Lesson number four, acts of kindness and sacrifice will set you up for epic blessings.

    The angels were surely more powerful than Lot could have imagined, but the kind intention to protect them was returned to him and his family. They told Lot, his wife, and his two daughters in Genesis 19:17(NLT), “Run for your lives! And don’t look back or stop anywhere in the valley! Escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away!” The Lord rained down fire and burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah and everything was utterly destroyed, even the vegetation. As they were escaping this terrible destruction, verse 26 tells us that Lot’s wife looked back as she was following behind, and turned into a pillar of salt. Lesson number five, never look back!

    When we look back and focus our attention on the past instead of leaving it behind, we may not turn into a pillar of salt, but like Lot’s wife, giving in to the temptation will invite the bitterness of sin to again put a hold on our lives. We don’t want this. There are many lessons that we can learn from this record in Genesis 19, but the tragic loss of time, momentum, and stamina by trying to erect a monument to our past—to who we used to be and what we used to do, this is paralyzing to the newness of all Christ has made available to us.

    In Ephesians 4:22, God tells us to put off our former way of life, and put on the newness that Christ offers, because this is the way we grow and become strong in the Lord. It’s how we stop giving the enemy opportunities to pull us down. It takes spiritual strength to live long and strong in this dark and evil world, and our responsibility and privilege is to reach towards Christ with every ounce of strength we have. We cannot give in to the temptation of doubt and unbelief as Lot’s wife did. She was closely related to righteousness, for Lot by all accounts truly was, but close is not enough. We have to walk this walk ourselves, and if we are truly sold out for Jesus Christ, we will never look back. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Lesson #5, Never Look Back!”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Be the Change You Want to See

    A distant relative has been having issues in her marriage for a long time. The situation is complicated, and would make it extremely challenging for any woman to stay. She’s gone through stages of tremendous anger about it, but surprisingly hasn’t ended the marriage although she’s threatened to do it many times. Every now and again, I check in with her to see how she’s doing. Recently, when I spoke to her about the situation, she said to me, “I haven’t made up my mind yet on whether I’m filing for divorce. I’ll see how I feel by the end of the week.”

    Marriage can be the most rewarding experience that life offers. It can also be the most hurtful experience in life. Someone going through a difficult marriage might say that if they had known things would turn out the way that they did, they would never have gotten married in the first place. As deliriously happy as they were on their wedding day, they regret ever taking that walk down the aisle. I’ve personally heard husbands refer to their exes in the most degrading terms, because they were treated so poorly by their wives during the marriage. Even years after their divorces, they’re still carrying the hurt.

    When our marriages don’t go quite the way we envisioned, it is easy to surmise that our bitterness is the fault of the person who wronged us. Some spouses even attempt to blame God that they ended up with so much heartache. The truth is that no person has the power to transform another individual. We become who we are by the choices we make, and just as we made the decision on our own to marry the person, we can also make the decision to heal and grow beyond the hurt we have endured.

    In the case of my relative, it almost feels as though she’s waiting for something to happen, and this will be the thing that almost makes the decision for her. There’s a saying, “be the change you want to see.” In spiritual terms, this means that we ought to recognize the extent to which we’ve been empowered by God to construct our own lives, and then begin to build our faith accordingly.

    In Mark 11:23(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart.” Our Lord and Savior is very specific in this verse. He’s not speaking about his ability. He’s not referring to the ability of the Father or the Holy Spirit. He tells us specifically that WE, you and I, are empowered to speak to the mountain and obliterate it with the faith that backs our confession.

    In Romans 12:2 (NKJV), God tells us not to be conformed to this world. This means that we shouldn’t take on its customs, behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs of negativity. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We are to change the way that we think. Romans 8:16(NLT) declares, “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” God’s Spirit joins with our human-spirit, and affirms that we are spiritual children with a spiritual Father. We are spiritual beings made in the image of our God. He created the universe to respond to us SPIRIT-U-ALLY; it responds to what we do, think, and say.

    Change begins internally first. This is God’s order. So, if we are waiting for situations to change, we might be waiting a very long time if we are not taking it upon ourselves to be the change we want to see. If we will have faith and trust Heavenly Father, and if we will humble ourselves and draw near to Him, He will lead, guide, and direct us through the Spirit of Christ within. He will tell us exactly the change we need to make in ourselves. And as we begin to take the steps that He communicates, a new revelation of His love will be deposited in us. This is truly the missing piece that separates us from the marriage we desire, and once we discover it through Christ, we will be transformed into the spouse that God has destined us to be.■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Be the Change You Want to See”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • She’s Rich, But Can’t Find A Man

    Celeste is a very independent and fierce woman. She’s built her career on being labeled ‘the first’. She was the first woman to hold the position she had in a large construction company; she was the first African American to be promoted to a senior level management position, and she is the first woman in her local area to move up the ladder from worker to co-owner of the company. I would venture to say that 95% of her counterparts are men. Most of her days are spent working around them, but at 43 years-old, she has never been married, and according to her, has never come close. Celeste is fiercely competitive, savvy, and financially set. Not only is she very successful, but she’s very down-to-earth and friendly. She wants to marry a Christian man and isn’t concerned that he might not be as successful as she is. This is why it is so baffling that she hasn’t crossed paths with her Mr. Right.

    A person in Celeste’s position has be very cautious about men that might only want to date her because of her wealth. This hasn’t been too much of an issue for her because she’s very unassuming. Were it not for the S63-coupe she sports, one would never know that she’s got serious bank. Again, she’s a sweet person, loves the Lord Jesus Christ, and you’d be amazed at how easy it is to strike up a conversation with her and feel like you’ve known her all your life. Still, in most ways, she’s no different than many singles these days. Despite all our efforts to do good, we slip into patterns and behaviors that are hard to break.

    In Matthew 7:3(NIV), Jesus Christ schools us on the kind of behavior we should have with one another. For those bent on being picky and criticizing others, he asked, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” It’s common sense to look at our own weaknesses and faults before we even think about calling out someone else’s, but often we don’t think about it this way. We adopt a set of behaviors and patterns, and do so subconsciously. The thought of changing or altering them a bit doesn’t cross our minds.

    If a stranger asked those who know Celeste well to describe her, her unselfish Christian nature would not be the first thing that came to their minds. It would be the fact that she curses like a sailor; not all the time, but enough that vulgar words strip the sweet aroma of Christ that Christians are supposed to leave with others. Her kind heart is completely overshadowed by her foul mouth.

    Ephesians 4:29(NLT) admonishes us, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” How we speak and how we make use of our words can pose a very real challenge to our efforts to marry. God’s standard in Ephesians 4:29 is clear, and it is for men and women alike, but it cannot be denied that as mothers and wives, the tone and manner of which we speak can be tremendously soothing and encouraging to our children and husbands. We cannot be ignorant of how impactful our words can be, both negatively and positively.

    Psalm 52:2(NIV) says, “You who practice deceit, your tongue plots destruction; it is like a sharpened razor.” This is not the kind of people God has called us to be. We’re not to use our tongues like razors and cut people with our words. God says that everything we say should be good and helpful. I can tell you from personal experience that the consequences of not paying attention to God’s standard are far reaching and severe. I said some pretty hurtful words to someone I care about, and it boomeranged, as all actions do. Whether it is negative or positive, if you put it out there, it’s going to come back to you, and will do so with an impact that is greater than your original action.

    Our words have staying power. Negative words create a vicious negative cycle that keeps propelling darkness into a person’s life. People listen to the words we speak. Our children and loved ones are influenced by them. As Christians, we should desire to speak words that uplift and motivate everyone around us to be better.

    Celeste is rich, and complains that she can’t find a good man. She doesn’t realize that arrogance isn’t necessarily about being flashy and audacious, and that pride and arrogance might be holding her back. It’s the thinking that allows wealth to mold a person into being inflexible and unwilling to change in the ways God desires them to. God is not punishing Celeste for having a foul mouth. She’s punishing herself because she refuses to release it. It’s the refusal and neglect to place God’s Will over her will that is causing her believing to fizzle and her faith to misfire.

    The Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:14 (NLT), “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” He understood that we’re all works in progress. We haven’t made it yet, but we are required to keep pressing, understanding that there is a standard we’re required and qualified to meet. Yes, we all have things about us that are not perfect. We’re not going to address every negative habit, behavior, or attitude in our lifetimes, but to the extent that something is holding our blessings at bay and causing us to miss the opportunity to be strategically positioned; it deserves our attention. We have to change and be better, so that we can continue pressing toward the mark for the prize. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “She’s Rich, But Can’t Find a Man”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Changing A Temporary Position to Permanent

    Our ears will fall upon information at certain times in our lives because it is just the information we need in order to move forward. For instance, my nephew recently shared with me a case study he completed. It was about a very lucrative company struggling with the idea of changing their business strategy. A small group of their team wanted to take the risk and venture outside of the company’s product models, and the others wanted to continue with what they knew, even though sales numbers were declining. This is high stakes risks for sure, but when it comes to our desire for marital partnership, no venture is riskier. It can greatly impact us spiritually, and that’s why now might be a good time for you to consider whether a switch-up in strategies is necessary. It might be just the thing needed for success in your marital endeavor.

    A long time ago, it was believed that meeting people to date should be and was a very organic process. There wasn’t a whole lot of strategic thought that went into it. Community and family connections were a meaningful part of the equation. Now, there are dating websites and services that cater to whatever category or group a person might identify with. For many this cuts through some of the modern-day complexities around dating and presents a strategy to speed up the process of meeting their future spouses. A lot of us are using these vehicles to meet new people, but not everyone is finding success. I don’t believe God has a problem with speeding up the process, as long as our desire for partnership is prioritized in the right place.

    Marriage is an institution that God has ordained. In Proverbs 18:22(NKJV), Heavenly Father tells a man that is poised for marriage, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” This puts the standard squarely on blast. A wife is to be a good thing. That must be the benchmark of our faith if we are to do things God’s way.

    Some of us approach it as if things do not have to be done His way, and this is a huge mistake, for the Lord tells us in Proverbs 8:14(NLT), “Common sense and success belong to me. Insight and strength are mine.” Heavenly Father set the pattern for success, and because of it every successful individual knows that you must have the right attitude and put the work in at the beginning of the process in order to have a good result in the end. If our heads and hearts are not in the right place to begin with, results will be shaky at best. God wants to introduce a whole new chapter in our lives. He wants us to be excited about the possibilities that partnership holds, but we cannot forget that with this new position, there is also a requirement that our relationship with Him and our faith is strengthened. This is the piece that we will often miss.

    In the Old Testament, the wilderness experience of God’s people paints the perfect picture of the wrong mindset when it comes to an expectation of new and greater blessings. They missed the fact that temporary doesn’t mean permanent. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’re praying about, or where you are in the process of working it all out; there is a temporary position, whether brief or prolonged, that we’re going to need to assume. Additionally, there are some things in this temporary phase that will require further development and tweaking. Like a recipe of our favorite dish, when all the ingredients of seasoning and leavening are added, correct measurements must be used and the appropriate baking time is required. We know how delicious the final result will be, but none of the process required for cooking this excellent dish can be skipped.

    After being delivered from slavery under the brutal rule of Pharaoh and the Egyptians, the people of God were in the wilderness, and they stayed there much longer than what baking time normally requires. They would not seek God to the point of strengthening themselves in faith. God didn’t intend for them to remain in the wilderness. It was meant to be a temporary holding position that would allow them to get their heads and hearts in the right faith space to move into the promise. For most of them, that didn’t happen. They became very angry with Moses, their leader, because they wanted the dish without the baking process. As single Christians, this is sometimes our approach.

    We don’t think about the process that is our responsibility to engage and master. We just want the man—the end result, regardless of the risk to our spiritual well-being in Christ. It’s not too much of a stretch to equate being single in today’s time to a wilderness experience. It’s rocky terrain and challenging to navigate, but it’s just temporary.

    Some of us are trying to turn this temporary position of being single into the permanent position of wife without understanding and appreciating the transition we’re endeavoring to make. It’s a spiritual transition, one that requires us to go through the process of strengthening ourselves in faith. Someone once asked me, “What does that look like? What does it look like to strengthen your faith for marriage?” As single women desiring to be wifey, every one of us has something in our hearts this very moment that might be blocking us from the opportunity to cross paths with our husbands. God isn’t withholding the opportunity. We can’t see it because the darkness keeps us blinded from it. This is such a tough thing for most of us to come to grips with, but we must in order to see victory in this area of our lives.

    Through the Holy Spirit that indwells us, we must ask God to reveal what is holding us back, because the answer is part of what it takes to strengthen our faith for marriage. In 2Corinithians 2:11(NLT) The Apostle Paul tells us how crucial it is that we release heavy weights like anger, resentment, pride, jealousy, and other kinds of darkness from our hearts, “So that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.”

    Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Faith dictates that we begin to strengthen our believing by seeking God preeminently. To seek God is to be relentless. It’s diligent effort, to the point that our every available moment is used to go before His throne in praise, worship, meditation, study, or contemplation. Talk about a winning strategy, this is it! This is what it looks like to strengthen your faith for marriage. It’s a seasoning, leavening, and baking time upon which you thrust all of your energy, knowing that the end result will indeed be delicious. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    “Changing a Temporary Position to Permanent”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Did You Make It Disappear?

    1 John 3:16-17 (MSG)
    “This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love:  Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.  If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.”

    The world is too crazy right now to turn a blind eye. Some maybe asking themselves, “What’s happened to God’s love? Why do we still have so much violence, racial tension, and complex problems throughout the world?” We’re hearing about the constant threat of war, and it’s natural that people want to know the cause of this seemingly unprecedented chaos and suffering around the globe. Even in our own personal lives, there are dilemmas left and right—financial difficulties, unemployment, broken relationships and many other issues that seem to be compounding. Some people are walking around in doubt and fear because they don’t think they have the answers to life anymore. They feel the rug has been yanked from underneath them.

    Although it may feel as though the bottom is falling out, we can be assured that God is on the case. He is allowing us to see what happens when people don’t honor Him as they should, but make no mistake, God is in control. Heavenly Father isn’t like us humans. Even though we’ve committed our lives to Him, we still vacillate in our decisions and behaviors, and we change like the weather; running hot one minute and cold the next. We can be very unpredictable to say the least. God is not like this. Numbers 23:19 (NLT) tells us, “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?” God is an unchanging Father, and He loves us unconditionally, despite our wishy-washy ways at times.

    We can best believe that there’s a huge lesson we must learn from what we’re witnessing in the world, and the lesson is for both the unbelieving and those of us that are believers. The major component of it will no doubt be about the love of Christ, and how far we have deviated from it. This is not a new lesson, but the times speak to how critically we’ve ignored it. 1 John 3:16-17 tells us that to know and understand the love of Christ is to ‘live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves.’ This is a measuring stick for whether all our dreams and aspirations are in line with God’s Word, because if they are, they will be drenched in a desire to love like Christ.

    1 John 3:16-17 speaks to the reality of God’s awesome and amazing love, and it also confirms the reality that we, you and I, are both the receivers and the conduits of His love. We have the distinct honor and privilege to give out what we have freely received. Most of us underestimate the impact that we can make on the lives of others. We don’t see ourselves as the ambassadors that Jesus Christ has made us, and we limit our outreach. This is an especially significant lesson for those that are praying to meet their future partners.

    It’s an important lesson because God’s love is wonderfully rich, exciting, and infused with His glory. There’s an indescribable luxuriousness to it, but yet, many singles are not enthusiastic about sharing this love with others. It is incredibly difficult for a person to make any progress in their quest for marriage if he or she isn’t confident in the love God has given us to share. Again, we have an obligation to be conduits of God’s love. When it comes to the blessing of marriage, God knows whether we will share His love through the example of Christ, or whether we will repeatedly revert back to habits of our old-man nature. God’s love is an overwhelming reality, but we have to ask ourselves if we are turning a cold shoulder and doing very little to show it forth. Are we making it disappear? Are we covering its light to the point that we are not illuminated in the eyes of the man that is supposed to see it?

    Love is, and forever will be, about what you do. We can tell someone we love them all day long, but it isn’t so much about what we say. There must be some evidence to back up the claim. Our loving Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, showed us how to love God’s way. His sacrifice paid the ultimate price because of his love for us all. He did what we could not do for ourselves. Our privilege and honor is to show our gratitude for what he has done by choosing to love others as he loves us.

    God says that when we have the ability and the means to be of service to someone in need, do so. Please don’t turn your back on them. God is working in you, and His love is made strong through your actions to bless others. Yes, the world is in pretty rough shape, but He tells us in 2Corinthians 12:9 that His grace is sufficient to us, because His strength is made perfect in weakness. Don’t allow the enemy to use the confusion of the world and the severity of these times to trick you out of the light of God’s love. Heavenly Father is the God of Wonderful, the Father of Awesome and Amazing. Never lose the excitement of His love. Let it shine brightly from your heart, and know that He will reward your commitment to live a life of love, sharing, and giving. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “Did You Make It Disappear?” written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • A Peaceful Harvest

    Hebrews 12:11 (NLT), tells us “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening – it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” There are times when we become so used to doing things on our own that we don’t think to slow down and ask God if we’re doing it His way. It’s not because we don’t care; we do! Some things slip by us. Either because we haven’t been taught, or we’ve never encountered a situation that forced us to change our approach. Maybe we haven’t had to endure so much pressure that the only way to make it through was to let God lead us every step of the way. Most Christians today haven’t had to endure this kind of pressure, but those living after the ascension of Christ certainly understood it. They knew first hand that sin is the worst enemy, both to Heavenly Father and to us. This is why they endured the discipline of righteous living with conviction. They were being trained for a harvest of unspeakable joy, and this is the same training that God has made available to us.

    God gave us His Word so that we can maximize the most out of this life. And if that wasn’t enough, He gave us His Son so that we could live and have the most abundance that life has to offer. Hebrews 12 is especially impactful for us because it applies the rigors and triumphs of the Christian journey to those involved in a marathon or race. Not just any race, the one ran by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. This is the course we all must look to. He finished his race and received the greatest prize that could be received. This is why his race should be our example, motivation, and goal.

    In Hebrews 12, God tells us about the great cloud of witnesses, men and women of tremendous faith who ran the race that He set before them. There are also others in our own families for whom, years ago, life was so difficult and unfair that they had no choice but to lean on their faith in the Lord. If they had not looked to their relationship with God through Christ, some would have been consumed by anger and bitterness, or quite possibly they would have lost their minds. We can’t imagine what it was like to endure all that they faced, and yet they still managed to pass on to us a legacy of faith. It is not a mistake that we should look back on the sufferings of those before us. It puts our light affliction in context, and should cause us to be more submissive under correction from our Heavenly Father.

    The Christian race is meant to be lifelong, but it is not a race without obstacles, turns, twists, and detours. It’s meant to keep us flexible, obedient, and always attentive to the directions and guidance of the Holy Spirit. With our stride steady and face in the wind, most of us become so used to running that sometimes we take this race for granted. We forget that seasons change. There are those seasons in which our spiritual strength is prime, and we experience a robust harvest of supernatural abundance. There are also seasons of quietness, where we know to be still. Then there are seasons where we don’t hear the voice of God the way we used to. This is our first clue that newness is upon us, and something in the way we’re running has to change.

    Proverbs 3:11-12 (NLT) tells us, “11 My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. 12 For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” God is training us to walk in the victory of Christ. He doesn’t want us to miss our blessing. God wants us to have a good life, the very best of everything, but just as a loving parent disciplines their child out of love, God does the same thing for us. He corrects those He loves. Praise Him for His correction! We want the Father to be well pleased with us. This is why we should take the time and space to check in with Heavenly Father for some endurance training.

    It is not always that we’re doing the wrong thing. Sometimes we’re too distracted to notice the change in season. The flowers of blessings may be blooming in a completely different field, but we missed it because we didn’t wait for more directions, and ran right passed it. Recognize that your race must be ran with both patience and endurance. It is God who set it through the Lord Jesus Christ. He’s the Rewarder of our faith, and only by being obedient to Him will we have a peaceful harvest and win the prize. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “A Peaceful Harvest”, written for findchristianman.com©2019. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!