Building Love and Keeping It Strong

One of the most sound pieces of advice that I can give to single women is to be as discreet and private as possible when it comes to your personal life; especially at the very beginning of a new relationship. I’ve counseled many women in this area, many of them have lived to regret being so open and candid to their friends about the new man in their lives. If you heed my advice, it’s very possible that you may come across as secretive to some. That’s ok! Discretion is very important to God. We know this because there’s a lot He has placed in His Word for us to know, but there are many more mysteries that He hasn’t revealed; and He has good reason.

Jesus Christ gave us a warning in Mathew 6:1-4(NLT). This passage tells us, “1 Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. 2 When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. 3 But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. 4 Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.”

The context of this passage is about giving, sharing, and being of service. That sounds a whole lot like marriage, doesn’t it?!! Our Master Jesus cuts right down to the meat of the matter as he warns us about our motives for putting our kind deeds on blast. We’re very often motivated out of a need to be admired by others. We want them to be impressed with what we’ve got going on. Jesus has stamped this practice with a serious “NO!”

Marriage is increase! It’s the most substantial investment in another person’s life that anyone can make. As a good steward or manager of God’s blessings, we should endeavor to show ourselves worthy of the commitment of marriage. After all, it is an institution that belongs to God. He created it, and He knows the best way to begin, maintain, and treasure it. Part of our good stewarding or managing practice is keeping quiet about certain details. As a precautionary and safe practice, it’s okay to share some things with those we trust, but the best practice is to consult God regarding details like timing and the potential of the other person to be committed. We need to be confident that we’re actually in a relationship that the Father has ordained, so that we don’t present it to others as something it was never meant to be.

Jesus tells us that if we’re continually spilling the beans and showboating, that’s all the reward we’ll get. This is not what we want. We should want God to reward us by preserving our relationships and causing them to flourish in every way. Jesus instructs us not to let the left hand know what the right hand is doing. The wisdom of this is breathtaking. Jesus knows that the enemy can’t steal what he can’t see. As Godly people that are learning to partner with the Lord to protect our unions, until Heavenly Father releases us, it just makes sense to use discretion about what He is showing us. Then we won’t let the devil see what is unspoken. A person can give the enemy eyes to see and ears to hear if they’re always speaking about their hidden treasures.

Perhaps there are situations that the other person hasn’t yet handled. Maybe the work that God is doing in their hearts needs more time to marinate. There are sometimes many details that require sorting out in order that two people can come together. And because some of us haven’t cultivated a practice of being a locked-box of discretion before the Lord, we sabotage a blessing before it flourishes. We can prevent this from happening by learning economy when it comes to our words and conversations.

1Corinthians 2:7 tells us that God kept the finished work of Christ a mystery as far back as the foundation of the world; even His Old Testament prophets could not figure it out. It was God’s secret. So being discreet isn’t about being sneaky or fearful. It’s being responsible to God. Being discreet is a discipline that goes hand in hand with the commitment of love. It works to build a relationship, and keep it strong. If you’ll pray about this, the indwelling Holy Spirit will help you stay on the right path. So make a conscious effort to have self-control in this area. Let the Spirit guide you regarding what you can, can’t or shouldn’t say regarding your new relationship. If the Spirit doesn’t release you to speak it forth, keep it quiet.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Building Love and Keeping it Strong” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2020. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!


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