The Juggling Act

There’s a constant juggling act concerning exactly who should be doing what when it comes to finding love. Is it the responsibility of the woman, or is it the responsibility of the man? It’s a very important question, particularly now, when it seems there are more women interested in marital partnership than men. Should the woman take the bull by the horn and put herself out there—sign up with multiple dating websites and explore all the options available these days for the dating scene? Should she be actively engaged in the search, or should she be still, know that God has her back, and patiently wait on Heavenly Father’s presentation of a good and Godly man?

If we check in on what God says on the matter, we all know the scripture in Proverbs 18:22 (NLT) that says, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” Some are of the mindset that it doesn’t matter who finds who, as long as they find each other, but divorce rates and relationship dysfunction are at an all-time high. This suggests that something that we’re doing isn’t quite lining up with God’s plan. The one thing we do know with absolute certainty is that God’s Word doesn’t fail. When we trust it wholeheartedly, results are eminent, because God always backs His Word. So, as a woman, dialing back your search efforts until you’re sure God is on board with it is a very wise move.

God has said that a man who finds a wife, finds a good thing. And not only this, a man that is actively looking for his Mrs. Right will receive favor from the Lord. A good man who’s looking to partner up is a man who probably appreciates the gift of women and the mutual wealth we bring to the table. This man is also looking to expand and increase according to the plan that God has sanctioned for unity and family. Mr. Right may not be someone with a great deal of biblical knowledge, but even unknowingly, he carries the promise of the Father. That’s someone you want in your life.

Some have disagreed with me when I’ve said that I believe the first real love experience is establishing your personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Loving him enough to make him the Lord of your life means that you’re willing to relinquish control and hand over the wheel. Salvation is our first lesson of surrender; it doesn’t stop there. Marriage will continue it. The lessons of humility and obedience to Christ are honed through marriage, so we’ve really got to make sure our quest to get married is in alignment with God’s Word.

From the passenger side, we should be watching how Jesus Christ drives, how he maneuvers us through our bumpy roads and confusing turns with God’s grace. He’s taking us somewhere, and  1 Corinthians 7:1-6(NLT) gives the road-map for every single man and woman on the quest for marriage. It says, “1 It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.”

1 Corinthians 7:1-6 contains both the surrender and constraint necessary to navigate with humility in the marital relationship. It doesn’t start when we get married. It starts as you surrender your desire for marriage in faith to Jesus Christ. Trust that he will help you prepare and get in position, so both you and your Mr. Right are at the right place, at the right time for God’s presentation.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Juggling Act” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!


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