Finding A Christian Man

Don’t Let Anger Control You

July 17, 2025

Relationship advice, Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

Ephesians 4:26-27(NLT)
“And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”

Grace and her sister have had a contentious relationship since they were young. Fighting weekly was the norm for them. Their parents saw it as sibling rivalry and did nothing to help them get along. Now that they’re adults, nothing has changed. Holidays, birthday celebrations, weddings, dinners with their parents, no matter the occasion, because of their deep-seated anger, these two sisters ignore each other and hardly ever speak.

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, disapproval, and hostility. It is a mistake to think that once the situation or event that caused us to feel anger is over that it will go away. Sometimes, the anger doesn’t go away. Instead, it remains in our souls and increases its grip on us in the background. It can be a strong sense of powerlessness that causes us to lash out whenever we feel threatened. For many of us, it’s the go-to emotion that we use to cover up other pain and hurt. Our minds tell us that holding on to the anger with resentment or a grudge seems easier or more beneficial than to forgive. Grace and her sister took that approach. They never learned to address their anger through the love of Jesus Christ, and because they didn’t, they lived beneath their privilege.

As we look back over our childhoods, some of us might remember that there were a lot of passively angry people within our everyday environment. They used profanity and didn’t have a whole lot of compassion for the feelings and well-being of others. Some of us who saw this picked up those habits without giving it much thought. We took on this anger and used it in our words, attitudes, and manner of dealing with even those relationships that are dearest to us.

My nephew told me about a Christian woman that is a notoriously good baker. One Saturday, he went to a bake sale where she was selling her homemade cookies. The place was packed. People were getting antsy, and the baker was feeling pressured. They had been waiting in line for her cookies, and when it looked as though they would soon be sold out, things got a little disorderly. They began to yell out their orders rather than waiting their turn. My nephew noticed that the baker’s son had become agitated by everything, and when he yanked on her apron to get her attention, she spoke to him in a manner that was harsh, angry, and profane.

Many of us have seen mothers do this in public and not thought anything of it, but we should think of what it does to the child’s heart. God commands us in Ephesians 4:29(NLT), “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” The habit patterns of anger can be very easily passed on to us, and when they are, God commands us to root them out of our hearts.

Proverbs 14:12(NLT) says, “There is a path before each person that seems right,
but it ends in death.” We think we have it all figured out, but the truth is, we can only see as far as our eyes allow us, and that is very limited. God sees the entire scope of our lives, so we must always trust His leadership and guidance, because only He can make our path clear and straight. There will always be things that will come against us and try to hinder or hold us back, but we must not respond in anger, because anger will set us further back. It will separate us from God’s blessings if we do not deal with in through His love.

Proverbs 14:17(NLT) tells us, “Short-tempered people do foolish things.” Many of us have witnessed this firsthand. People can appear to be very calm and non-reactionary. They look as though they’ve got it all together, but underneath all that exterior is a rage that seeps out at the most unassuming times. They are angry at the world but cover it up with a smile. This isn’t what God wants for us. He doesn’t want us to be fake. He wants us to exercise self-control that comes from trusting Him with all our hearts.

Anger should not be dominant or dormant in a loving person. As a child of God, you can’t hide behind it, because anger will never remain hidden. It must be nailed to the cross and left there. We must relinquish it and put on more of the love of Christ in its place.

Psalm 4:4(NLT) commands, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.” Life will respond to what we give it, and it knows when anger is ruling the roost. It will show up in a way that keeps people at bay. Anger will keep a future husband circling around us but never making contact, because we haven’t created a soft place for his love to land. Let’s not do this to ourselves. Proverbs 14:22(NLT) says, “If you plan to do good, you will receive unfailing love and faithfulness.” So, plan to root out any anger and rage that is in your heart, so you can both give and receive the kind of unfailing love and faithfulness that God wants you to have. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Let Anger Control You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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God’s Timing Is Always Perfect

July 10, 2025

Encouragement and Inspiration

Psalm 27:14(NKJV)
“Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!”

This verse in Psalm 27:14 is very simple, but for many believers, it reveals one of the most challenging aspects of the Christian walk, which is simply waiting on the Lord. God is faithful to His Word. He never changes, and He never wavers. When He makes a promise, we can take it to the bank, because God never fails. Most of us claim to know and understand the infallible and perfect nature of God, but when we find ourselves waiting on a blessing to come to pass, we sometimes doubt God’s willingness to bless us. We ignore Psalm 27:14 and refuse to be of good courage. We make costly mistakes when we try to take matters into our own hands and abandon patience. Our hearts are strengthened towards God through the wait, and this is a lesson that none of us can afford to skip.

God tells us twice in Psalm 27:14 to wait on Him, and when God repeats Himself in this way, it’s to get our attention. It’s to express the importance of what He is conveying. He knows that patience is a struggle for most human beings, particularly in our modern day. The conveniences of technology and just about everything else in this age caters to a “on the double” mentality. Our attention spans are not nearly as long as they once were, and some of us have no concept of what it means to patiently endure. God’s standard of patience for His children has not changed, and He will not allow us to bypass this crucial element of the example of Christ.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to leave everything in God’s hands and wait for His divine timing. The challenge that most of us have with this is not knowing any of the details and fearing that we might miss an opportunity. We don’t know what to do with ourselves during the wait, but God tells us exactly what to do, and one of those things is to be of good courage. This means that we are to encourage ourselves through God’s Word. We need to feed our minds and hearts scriptures that remind us of God’s faithfulness and encourage us to keep the faith. Lamentations 3:25(ESV) says, “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” We must confess verses like this continually.

When I was in high school, I really liked a young man, but he didn’t pay me much attention. I prayed and asked God to help me find a way to impress this guy, because I wanted so badly to capture his attention. God knew the heart of this young man, and he was certainly not for me, but I was young. I wanted what I wanted. Heavenly Father spoke to me in many ways, and He let me know that I didn’t have to do anything to make someone like me. All I had to do was wait on Him. “That is not for you. I have something better!” He told me.

After a while, I became antsy because I wasn’t seeing this ‘something better’ and I wanted someone to love. I took matters into my own hands and eventually asked the guy out. He told me that he didn’t like girls that wear glasses. My little heart was broken, and my ego was shattered into little pieces. I thought to myself, I should’ve listened to God in the first place, and I wouldn’t be in this emotional mess. I cried my eyes out for weeks, but a few months later, I met the nicest young man while I was visiting my grandfather in Atlanta. This young man loved the Lord and was very kind to me. Although that was a long time ago, I learned patience and many other lessons through that whole experience.

The prophet, Isaiah, said in Isaiah 64:4(NLT), “For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him!” God’s timing is always perfect, and when we wait on Him, we will see the manifestation of our desires, and they will exceed our expectations. God knows what we need, and He knows exactly how to bless us. We don’t have to feel pressed to hurry things along. He tells us to be strong and of a good courage, and this is exactly what we must do. Wait on the Lord! Don’t be impetuous and do something you’ll regret. Use your time wisely and do the things that strengthen your heart towards God, because this is how we move ourselves closer to Him and closer to the blessings we seek. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“God’s Timing Is Always Perfect”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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A Clean Heart Creates a New You

July 3, 2025

Your Relationship with God

Ezekiel 36:26-27(NLT)
“26 And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.”

Our Lord is in no short supply of blessings and riches, and it is His good pleasure to lavish them on His children. We can see this so clear in Ezekiel 36:26-27, as He beautifully illustrates the level of His power and grace. In Old Testament times, God chose the Israelites as His very special people. He made a covenant with them. He would be their God and they agreed to follow His statues, rules, and laws. Following His Word allowed them to be covered under His protection and provision, but they would not keep their end of the covenant and began to practice idolatry. This betrayal against God landed them in serious hot water. They turned their hearts away from Him and had no desire to obey, but God had a plan to do the exceedingly abundantly. He always does, and this is a truth that we can rest in with a heart and mind full of unwavering faith.

Even after countless miracles and blessings, the children of Israel strayed away from God. They didn’t represent Him among the other nations, and those nations were cursing our Heavenly Father’s name and speaking lies about Him. He was not going to stand for that. During this period in the Old Testament, His people had stony hearts towards Him. They refused to listen to our Heavenly Father and chose to go their own way, but He had a plan. In this passage in Ezekiel 36:26-27, He speaks to His people through His prophet, Ezekiel, and tells them that a day is coming when He will no longer write His Word upon tablets of stone, but upon the hearts of those who love and honor Him.

Some believers living today have done what the children of Israel did, they have developed a hard heart towards God and His Word. They are listening to the world and disconnecting from the truth, and there’s a price to pay for this. The Israelites of the Old Testament were not sons and daughters of God the way that we are. They were servants of God, so there’s a huge difference between those living in Old Testament times and believers living today. We have received an enormous gift from God. We have been empowered through His Holy Spirit, and we have a greater responsibility to live by the rules of God’s Kingdom and follow the example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Because of what God accomplished through Jesus Christ, we have received God’s seed, the gift of the Holy Spirit, and he lives inside us! 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) says, “19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”

Through the Holy Spirit, God has given us a new heart that is tender and responsive to Him, and it is our privilege and responsibility to nurture our hearts with His Word every chance we get. Philippians 2:13(NLT) says, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” This is what God’s Holy Spirit does. He works within our body temples and gives us both the desire and power to do the things that please God. Jesus Christ also tells us in John 16:13 that the Spirit will lead and guide us to all truth! With this exciting good news, we must also understand that yes, the Spirit is working in us, and yes, he will guide us into the truth, but he will not go against our free-will and make us comply with his leadership and direction.

In Proverbs 4:23(ESV), God tells us to “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life.” We are the keepers of our own hearts, and we must make the choice to surrender to the Spirit. Sometimes we don’t do this because we have not kept our hearts through God’s Word. As His beloved children, we always have to put ourselves in check. Have you noticed the condition of your heart lately? Has anyone mentioned something about your attitude or behavior that needs changing? Are you aware of how quickly you get upset when something doesn’t go your way? How do you handle not being the one in control?

We can be very petty and picky, and we can have an attitude that looks nothing like the attitude of Christ. We must be blatantly honest and examine whether things like these are holding us back. It would be a mistake to think that we can walk by faith while still resisting change. We must be flexible, pliable, and humble to God’s Will, and we must nurture our minds and hearts with His Word.

We can’t listen to what others think is right, we must know what is right according to what God says. If we have any question about this, the Spirit will straighten us right on out. Cynicism and pessimism can take root in us if we’re not careful, and when they are in our hearts, they draw the situations and people that latch on and keep us from growing and going higher. 2Corinthians 5:17(NLT) tells us, “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” Because of his sacrifice and resurrection, Jesus Christ has given us the Holy Spirit, and the Spirit has made us a new person. We can’t allow people to take us back to those old stuck in the mud ways. We must keep our eyes on Christ and follow where he leads us through the Spirit.

Jesus Christ has made a ‘new you’ possible! This is the ‘new you’ that must be presented to your future spouse! You’ve been empowered to love yourself and others through his love, and this makes all the difference in our relationships. God made good on the Word He gave to His prophet, Ezekiel. He’s given us a new heart, and we are responsible for keeping our hearts responsive to Him and pliable to the plan He has for our lives. His love is deep and everlasting, and we must be confident that His promise of a new heart and a new life in Christ is all the hope we need to usher in new blessings in our lives.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

“A Clean Heart Creates a New You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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The Fullness of Marriage

June 26, 2025

Uncategorized

Ephesians 5:33(NLT)
“So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Marriage is so meaningful to us because God has made it all about His love. Through spouses, God provides for us. He takes care of our hearts and the need we have for companionship. Genesis 2:18(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” We cannot neglect or ignore the reality that it was God who said that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. It was His Will to make companionship necessary for the well-being of humanity. Eve, the first woman, was not an afterthought. God did not suddenly decide that her being was necessary. Both man and woman—male and female were always His plan. Even before He established the foundation of the world, He knew that He wanted a family, and He knew that through their union, Adam and Eve would produce that family. So, we must always remember that marriage is the institution God ordained to preserve the holiness and the sanctity of the oneness between men and women.

Question 1

Understanding that marriage is God’s institution and that it fulfills His purpose in the earth should prompt us to ask if we are desiring to get married for the right reasons. The wrong reasons to want to get married all have their root in selfishness. There can be no doubt in our minds that question 1, (if we’re marrying for the right reasons) will require us to be brutally honest, and this brutal honesty will press us to look at our past handling of relationships with men.

Many of us have been guilty of promiscuous behavior. We gave our bodies to men that were not our husbands, and some of us did it on the regular. Our Heavenly Father is not in heaven holding this against us, but if we have not repented and sought God’s forgiveness, the enemy is blocking us from moving forward.

We were selfish in our sinful behavior. We were seeking our own agendas of holding on to the man and satisfying our own fleshly pleasures. Running from this truth will only continue to hold us back. As women of faith who have a heart to share the fullness of marriage with the man God has ordained for that purpose, we must hear what God is saying to us. His Son had to die in order to cleanse our sins by his blood, and we cannot continue to dishonor God. We can’t repeatedly do the things that displease Him and expect to be rewarded. In the Book of Revelation, in his letters to the churches, Jesus Christ would end them by saying that anyone with ears must listen and understand what the Spirit is saying. He is telling us we must open our ears and hear the truth.

Question 2
Are you spiritually, emotionally, and mentally mature enough for marriage? If so, how do you know? There’s a saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.” This saying holds tremendous wisdom. When we are ready to hear the truth, we will open our ears, and someone will speak the truth to us. By the same token, when we are spiritually, emotionally, and mentally mature enough to handle marriage, the spouse will show up.

For many of us, this is a tough pill to swallow because all of us think we’re ready. We think we haven’t met the spouse because God isn’t cooperating with our desires. That simply isn’t true. God’s creative perfection and laws were woven in the universe long before any of us came on the scene. He has designed things in such a way that when our faith is in the right place spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, manifestation does its thing! God doesn’t miss, we do. So, if the reality is that we’re not yet ready to handle the fullness of marriage, it’s time to increase our faith in God and pray that He will help us to prepare. He will do a work within us through His Holy Spirit, but we must be willing and ready to hear and accept the truth.

Question 3

Marriage is not always romantic. Are you expecting it to be? Marriage can be the hardest work we’ve ever encountered, and if we are not prepared to faith our way through some of the challenges, we might see divorce as an easy out. God wants marriage to be permanent. Some of us can’t imagine being sold-out in our commitment to honor God, and because of this, we can’t imagine a lifetime of being committed to His institution of marriage. We must be confident that there’s no problem we will face that cannot be solved by the Lord Jesus Christ, and we must understand that God expects marriage to be a lifetime commitment.

In the beginning of a marriage, there might be an adjustment period, and there might also be problems and disagreements. Two people coming together can be difficult at first because none of us are perfect. God made some differences between men and women standard with our packaging. In some cases, we’ll need to stretch in every area to understand one another, and as we do, we will grow in the love of Christ which deepens and holds our union together.

1Peter 4:8(ESV) says, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Some men will demand a certain kind of respect from their wives before anything else, but their definition of respect is sometimes a little different from God’s. God’s definition of respect is steeped in love, understanding, and compassion. On the other side, some women want to be showered with gifts and pampered when they haven’t done much of anything to deserve those things. We need to understand that marriage is a cycle of both giving and receiving. The bottom line is that both need to adjust their expectations when it comes to the other. Both spouses need to understand that marriage can be as beautiful and fulfilling as God ordained it to be. It’s full, loving, and robust, but it is always going to be our responsibility to make and keep it that way.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Fullness of Marriage”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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A Proverbs 31 Kind of Wife

June 19, 2025

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

Proverbs 31:10-12(NLT)
“10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

As single women, we should remind ourselves of this Old Testament passage in Proverbs 31 often. It’s God’s wisdom that was taught to King Lemuel by his mother. During the king’s day, sexual immorality was as rampant as it is today, and the king’s mother wanted him to steer clear of women who practiced this kind of behavior. Sexual immorality diminishes the strength of both men and woman in so many ways, and this mother broke it down to her son because she wanted him to be strong and to marry a strong wife. God will point a good man in the direction of a virtuous and capable wife, and we should desire with all our hearts to be the one at the end of His finger.

God has given men great responsibilities, the top one is producing Godly children that will continue his legacy of honoring God. Women can support and nourish life in their wombs and out of the womb, but only the seed of a man can produce children, and this is according to our Heavenly Father’s brilliant design. Jesus Christ walked upon this earth as a man, and through him, God made it possible for us to be His children. Romans 5:17(NLT) says, “For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ.” Because of what God has done through Jesus Christ, we can have God’s seed, the Holy Spirit, inside us, and this is what makes us His kids.

Romans 5:18(NLT) says, “Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone.” The right relationship with God that we have because of Christ should produce the kind of woman that Proverbs 31:10-12 speaks about. As a single woman, you must have the kind of heart that rejoices in what God has done through Christ every day of your life.

A virtuous woman is a woman whose heart is sold out to God. She honors him with her whole life and because of this, God blesses and rewards her. So, we must know that the motivation for being a virtuous woman isn’t to snag a man, it’s to please God. This is want positions us to be in the right place at the right time.

God wants us to know that the things of His Kingdom come first. Moving His agenda forward should be continually on our minds, but some of us are just not there. We’re desperate for marriage and want it for the satisfaction of our own agendas. We’re not thinking about a well-formed partnership that is drenched in God’s anointing and purpose. We’re not thinking about the mission that God has for our future spouses and how we might help them fulfill it. Other things are on our minds, but we’ve got to change that.

Social media is flooded with women talking about what they deserve, and about what they will and will not accept. Their desires for marriage are tanked by a strong sense of entitlement. They want to be catered to. They want the man to take care of them without the heart to do the same. God tells us in Jeremiah 17:10(NLT), “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” God is the Giver and Provider of blessings. He knows our hearts. He sees what we do and knows our secret motivation.

Proverbs 12:4(NLT) says, “A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.” Some of us single women are beyond childbearing years. Our children may be fully grown, but we’re desiring marriage. That desire must be matched by a commitment to God and the willingness to follow His guidance. The intent to be a blessing and put the welfare of a spouse above your own is paramount. You must have faith that God will take care of your needs when you fulfill your obligation to His Will and purpose.

For those that are praying to meet their spouses and begin a family, the commitment to God must be your priority as well, perhaps even more so. Helping to teach your children God’s Word and to raise them according to it must be in your heart. As women of faith, our standard of Godliness and virtue has been set by our Heavenly Father. Making Proverbs 31:10-12 our goal keeps our hearts pure and our minds strong. Pray to God. Humble yourself before Him and release anything that keeps you from being the wife that He wants you to be. Do this often, so that you please the Father and become a wife who greatly enriches your husband’s life. This is important to God, and it must be important to you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Proverbs 31 Kind of Wife”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God

April 7, 2025

Your Relationship with God

1Kings 11:4(NLT)
“In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the LORD his God, as his father, David, had been.”

When he was a child, Solomon, the son of David, was destined to be the king of Israel. It was an enormous task for someone so young, and he had the good sense as a child to ask our Heavenly Father for wisdom and understanding. 1Kings 3:9-10(NLT) tells us he prayed, “9 Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours? 10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom. 11 So God replied, “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—12 I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have!”

King Solomon was the wisest and wealthiest king to ever live, but like all of us, he had his issues; he loved women. The bible tells us that he had over 700 wives. His love of women was his weakness, and ultimately, it was his downfall, even after all the glorious things that God had done for him. Solomon did what God told the men of that time not to do; he married Moabite and Hittite women. 1Kings 11: 2(NLT) says, “The LORD had clearly instructed the people of Israel, ‘You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.’ Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway.” Solomon’s actions are like ours sometimes. God has told us how to keep ourselves in His peace and blessings, but we don’t follow what He says.

1Peter 1:14(NLT) tells us, “So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.” Before we became saved, and for some of us even after we accepted Christ, we approached relationships in a sinful way. We allowed the man to be number one in our lives and we did not prioritize our relationship with God in the number one spot. The thing that slips by many single women that are desiring marriage is the fact that the old way of approaching and operating in relationships is still in their hearts. They are carrying the old ways with them everywhere they go, even though now they know better.

Solomon witnessed the way that his father, King David, followed and loved God, but he still insisted on doing the thing that didn’t honor his relationship with our Heavenly Father. Like Solomon, some of us allow our weakness to get the best of us as well. Then, when we end up in heartbreak or worse, we refuse to connect the dots between our actions and the consequences we’re facing. Because of this, we do not learn to grow in faith and obedience and will more than likely continue making choices and decisions that bring us more pain. This isn’t what God wants for us.

Our desire for a blessed marriage that is ordained by our Heavenly Father requires that we have the kind of heart for Him that proves He is first in our lives. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NIV), “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” It isn’t enough to simply say we’re putting God first. He knows exactly what we’re treasuring most. He can see whether we’re truly loving Him as we should because He can see what is in our hearts. He said in Jeremiah 17:11(NLT), “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.”

Nothing in life can come before God. We usually think of bowing to a statute as idol worship, but it doesn’t have to be as literal as that. Idolatry is the practice of placing anything before the honor, worship, and praise we should give to our Heavenly Father. Whether it’s too much time on social media, sports, your boyfriend, dream job, or even your family; while none of these things are wrong, they can become a slippery slope if we fail to keep them in their proper place.

Rebellion is a sinful desire to operate independent of what God says. It’s not seeking Him but doing our own thing; just like the devil did when he wanted to be independent of God and not submit to His Creator anymore. Many of us become consumed and totally wrapped up in things and people, especially when it pertains to significant relationships. That’s what the devil wants. It’s one of his tricks to get us to take our eyes off God, so that we will not place God in His rightful place of authority and sovereignty. If the devil gets you to take your eyes off God, then you might begin to think that you don’t need Him or need to follow His instruction. This is what the slippery slope of a mindset and heart of rebellion will do to us.

We can’t let that happen. We desperately need the Lord, and we need to be doing the things that show Him we’re seeking and placing Him first in our lives. Even though you may not understand the Word as well as you would like, still read and study it. The Holy Spirit is our Teacher, and he lives inside us. He will help us to comprehend the Word. So, we must pray often and read God’s Word, because this is the very least we can do to show Him how important He is to our lives. Don’t allow yourself to be tricked out of your relationship with our Heavenly Father. You must place more focus, energy, and time on your relationship with Him than you do on any other person or thing. This is what shows all of heaven and everything beneath it that you are focused on God and spiritually ready for all He has in store for your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom

March 31, 2025

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

You’ve been waiting for this moment for most of your adult life, and now it’s here. The man you met thirteen months ago proposed and you couldn’t be happier. Whether you’ve never been married, or you’re divorced or widowed, getting married is always going to be a life changing experience. Finally arriving at the place where you can honestly say the wait is over is a really big deal and a sigh of relief. That’s not to say things are perfect. If you’ve been dating the same person a while, you’ve probably seen a lot of things in him that you really love and a few things that could use some work. You understand that neither you or your future spouse is perfect, but you’ve agreed to be committed to one another and help each other grow. Single women who have yet to get to that point should know that there’s a profound spiritual element that causes all this to come together and move a woman from dating to marriage, and that element is God’s wisdom.

Proverbs 2:6 tells us that it is the Lord who gives wisdom, and knowledge and understanding come from His mouth. Many singles haven’t fully believed this and have sought many other sources for what can only come from God. He tells us in Proverbs 4:7(NKJV) that “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” A principal thing is a thing that is highest on the list of importance. This means that wisdom ranks very high in God’s Book. He wants us to obtain knowledge from His Word, and He also wants us to understand the knowledge we’ve acquired. This is what keeps us growing and flourishing in our Christian lives.

Navigate before you date
Wisdom is the principal thing that allows us to navigate dating from a position of faith even before we begin to date. We forget sometimes that we are spiritual beings with a soul having an earth experience. As spiritual beings, we are continually sending out messages through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions. We are also constantly responding to the messages that others around us send as well. God tells us in His Word that all this sending and responding better add up to His love, because if it doesn’t, we’re sending and responding to the wrong messages, and we’ll miss what He has in store. This is one of the reasons we find ourselves unable to get out of the gate when it comes to marriage. We’re not yet sending a strong and right message of God’s love.

To navigate before you date, you must have a commitment to stand on the foundation of God’s Word no matter who you meet and how much he likes you and you like him. This isn’t just about sexual sin. It’s also about understanding your position and facing the reality that its up to you to help move yourself and your relationship from point A to point B. You must span that distance through your faith in God, and if you are disobeying Him, you are not walking in wisdom or faith, and He can’t bless that. If you’re planning to sin two weeks after you meet the guy, you’ve lost the treasure before it even has time to develop and grow.

Be in agreement with God’s plan
Two people that are ordained by God to walk together in life are in each other’s destinies. God has already taken care of this. They are magnetized to each other, but faith is the thing that moves them closer to one another. When they are checked-in to destiny, and they are sending and responding in a way that resonates God’s love toward one another, all things will work together for their supreme benefit. This is the way all good things come together. Amos 3:3(NKJV) asks “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This points to an agreement that is more than physical or mental. It’s a spiritual agreement, and we cannot get to that point unless our chief concern in life is loving God through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions.

To come into agreement with God’s plan, all parts of you must be on board with His love. Romans 12:1(NLT) affirms this. It says, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.” God purchased us with a very high price, the price of the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He wants all of you, your spirit, soul, and body, to be presented to Him as a living sacrifice. God has a purpose for your life, and in order for it to unfold, you must be in total agreement with Him through what you do, think, feel, and say.

The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NKJV), “The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;” In other words, God is going to fulfill His purpose for our lives. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for us. Again, our responsibility as believers is to align ourselves with His plan and purpose. When we do this, amazing things will begin to happen.

Pray to receive God’s wisdom and understanding
Dating is not the first step towards marriage, becoming spiritually prepared for it is. Your mind and heart must be sold-out for God before you think about loving, supporting, and ministering to another person’s heart and life. Proverbs 16:9(NLT) tells us, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” It is irrational and illogical to think that we can line up our faith with God’s plan and purpose for our lives when we don’t even know what God’s plan and purpose of our lives is. We need to spend quality time in prayer and pray to receive revelation and guidance through His indwelling Holy Spirit, because Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13 that the Spirit is the One that will guide us into all truth. You must humble yourself and surrender to God in every aspect of living, dating, and marriage.

1Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not the author of confusion and chaos, but of peace and order. He is organized beyond anything we can imagine. He knows the end at the beginning and beginning at the end. There’s nothing about anything that you and I could ever do in our lives that would surprise Him. He knows the plan He has for us, and His purpose and the mission He has set for our lives is for us to walk in His love to the greatest extent possible. God wants to look at your heart and see Christ, and that is His priority for you.

God has given us marriage to teach us how to love one another and to teach us the depth, breadth, and width of His love for us. When Jesus Christ returns, there will be no need for marriage, so we must pray and be ever so careful that we don’t get out of order and begin to think that marriage is more than what God designed it to be. Our Heavenly Father requires that we put and seek Him first in all things. No matter how long we live, no matter what we do, and no matter who we are, it will all boil down to how well we love God. This determines our spiritual preparedness to navigate dating with God’s wisdom and to take our relationship with the right person from dating to marriage ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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A Friendship that Leads to Marriage

March 24, 2025

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

Imagine being friends with a man that you’re interested in, but you don’t think he’s interested in you in the same way. How do you handle this? Do you stop being in his company? Do you conclude definitively that there’s no possibility for something more? What if he meets someone else, can the two of you still remain friends? This can be very tricky and as women of faith, we must be careful and use discernment. 1Thessalonians 5:11 tells us that part of our responsibility to Christ is to build each other up. So, we should be very careful not to offend or harm our friend’s relationship with God by causing a mistake that could have been avoided.

I had a boss once that said to me that he never allows anyone to ride in his vehicle outside of his family. When I asked him why, he said it eliminates confusion and cuts down on unnecessary explaining when it pertains to the opposite sex. I completely understood his logic. It speaks to the culture and climate we’re currently living in. Taking a friendship outside its boundaries can create confusion and even more issues, especially in the workplace. When the affection is one-sided, jealousy, obsession, and anger can rear their ugly heads and put the other person in a very compromising position. These are real circumstances happening to real people.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to have fulfilling lives, and friendships add so much flavor and fulfillment to our existences. However, when it comes to relationships between men and women, we should walk in wisdom. Proverbs 3:13-15(NLT) tells us, “13 Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. 14 For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. 15 Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Platonic relationships between men and women are certainly possible, and many such relationships are common, but wisdom dictates that there must be some established boundaries that both people are committed to uphold.

Proverbs 27:17 tells us that iron sharpens iron. God teaches in His word that friends should help to keep each other sharp in God’s wisdom. They should help and not hinder each other spiritually. So, it is incumbent on all of us to have motives that are pleasing to God in our friendships with men, and to guard our hearts so that we do not begin to develop romantic feelings. Some might say, “You can’t help who you love.” That’s a very romantic sentiment, but sincerity is no guarantee for truth.

God is our Creator. No other deserves our greatest level of love more than He does. Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Yet, most do not love God in this way. They don’t love Him in this way because they consciously choose not to love Him. Jesus Christ gave us this commandment because the truth is that love is a choice. We choose who we will love, and we choose who we will not love. We have free-will, and we are in charge of our emotions; our emotions should not be in charge of us.

2Timothy 1:7(NLT) says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” We were not created to be emotionally out of control. God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, and we must have faith that we can operate in our friendships with men and women from a place of strength, Godly love, and self-control.

Amos 3:3 (NLT) asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” This is really key when it comes to a friendship that might lead to marriage. As a woman, you must do some self-examination to keep your intentions aligned with God’s Will. We must be clear that God sends the right person for us, and He will let us know who that person is. So, when we develop feelings for a friend, the first thing is not to pray that God will make this man return your affection. God never oversteps our free-will. He does not force us to love Him, and He will not force someone to love us.

Some friendships with men do move from the platonic stage to ultimately marriage, but we need to always hear from God on this matter. If a male friend hasn’t given you any indication that you are anything more than a friend, keep strict to those boundaries. You will be in a much better position to navigate with peace and ease if you continue to be Godly and focus on pleasing our Heavenly Father. It’s a blessing to have good platonic male friends, and to also be a blessing in those relationships by maintaining boundaries and walking by the example of Christ. Understand that you can do this if you walk in wisdom. Only want what God has for you, and have faith that what is for you, you will not miss. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Friendship that Leads to Marriage”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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The Gift God Has for You

March 17, 2025

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

1John 4:7-8 (NIV)
“7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

When God’s love is anchored within us, we have an abundant resource to draw from. This makes all the difference in all our relationships, but especially so in our significant relationships with men. The Big Story of Life is God’s love. The introduction is that God loves us and wants to be with us. The main storyline is that He has made a way for this to happen through Jesus Christ, who is the central character and subject of life from the beginning to the end. It is important we recognize that nothing moves us forward with any great degree without beginning every action with the knowledge of God’s love and the motivation to move in, with, by, and through it.

Adam and Eve lost access to God. They showed us the tragedy that occurs when we choose something over our love for our Heavenly Father. They were disconnected from Him and His holiness when they sinned against His Word. This was catastrophic for humanity on every level, but God did not leave us in this trouble state. He had a plan of redemption long before Adam and Eve came on the scene, and through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, He saved us from sin and death. God is our Redeemer, Rescuer, Refuge, and Rewarder. He laid it all on the line to save us, and He did this because He wants to be with us, and He wants us to love through Him.

Jesus Christ has given us direct access to our Heavenly Father. Jesus died for the sins of the world, and God accepted his death on the cross as a sacrifice for all our sin. Jesus was innocent, and he died the most agonizing, brutal, and horrific death in order to restore our friendship with God. Romans 5:10-11(NLT) says, “10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” This is an amazing passage! It ties together our rejoicing over our redemption to the kind of gratitude we should have in our relationship with God. This joy we should have over our friendship with God should shape and mold our days before they even begin.

The reality we’re now facing is that many single women are not living with joy, and they are not rejoicing about what it means to be friends with God. They are not intentional about their gratitude for the price God paid through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and in their hearts, there’s little trace of the depth, width, and breadth of love we should have for our Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ set us free from sin and shame. He died in our place, and paid the penalty required for all our wrongdoing, but many of our actions convey we lack both the enthusiasm and thankfulness for all God has done. Our prayers must shift so that this, more than any other thing, is the priority in our prayer-lives.

Through Jesus Christ, God has placed His Spirit within us. In the Old Testament, in Ezekiel 36:26(NLT), God prophesied through His prophet, “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Because of the finished work of Jesus Christ, this is the kind of heart that we can have. By becoming born-again and accepting the gift of salvation that Christ offers, we receive God’s Spirit, the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13 that the Spirit will guide us into all truth. He will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ, and he will tell us about the future. Philippians 2:13 declares that the Spirit will work in us and give us the desire to do what pleases God.

So, we don’t have any excuses. God has made it possible for us to have the kind of heart He is looking for. He has given us the capacity to love Him in a way that delights Him, but as women, some of us are not interested in doing this. Jesus Christ is the gift that God has given to the world, and a whole life’s worth of thank-yous wouldn’t equal the gratitude we should express. We are just way too concerned with delighting in a man, and we’ve placed delighting in God in the back seat. That won’t do. We must pray that the Spirit will help us to change this.

The Spirit is the One who does all the Work, and God simply commands us to let him. We do this through prayer, meditation, and studying God’s Word. Our prayers should be more about our relationship with God than any other thing. We should desire Him so supremely that our entire being is a love song dedicated to His glory.

The gift that God has for us is received only when we acknowledge that the greatest gift we could receive has already been given. Everything we receive after salvation is a reward from honoring God with gratitude and obedience for the sacrifice of Christ. The love that was demonstrated towards us by God must be deep in our hearts. It must create a well in us that is overflowing to such a degree that our spouses are drenched in it. We must understand that we cannot be a wife ordained by God without understanding that the sacrifice Christ made is pure love. To be prepared for marriage, we must be a different kind of woman. We must understand that love indeed means sacrifice, and only then can we love our husbands with the same commitment and depth of love that Christ has for us. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Gift God Has for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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Don’t Rush

March 10, 2025

Spiritual Preparation for Marriage Lessons

Proverbs 19:3(NLT)
“People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the LORD.”

Everything that we do, think, and say has a consequence. Whether our actions are good or bad determines whether what we get back is a reward or a curse. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:43-45(NLT), “43 A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. 44 A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. 45 A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” There’s no escaping this truth. Everything that we do comes from what is in us. It comes from our hearts, and often the lessons that God teaches us are about what we need to get out of our hearts and what we need to put in them.

Our time as unmarried individuals is very special, but often we don’t view it that way. It’s special because it gives us time to grow in Christ and to learn the spiritual lessons that prepare us for married life. Most importantly, our time as singles can and should be used to deepen our relationship with God. As single people, we don’t have nearly as many distractions because we’re not obligated the way we would be if we were married. Time to devote and develop our prayer lives and cement our faith are the gifts we can give ourselves while we’re single. Many believers that are married fondly look back to the time they spent with Heavenly Father during their unmarried years. It was truly special to them because the intimacy they shared with God increased their faith tremendously.

James 1:12 tells us that God blesses those who patiently endure. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit, and it is a quality that every true disciple of Jesus Christ must have. Many women desiring marriage have not fully understood God’s requirement in this area. They are not patiently enduring the wait by using that time to grow stronger in their relationship with Him. Instead, many of them want to rush to marriage and have refused to study and meditate on the Word and spend quality time with Heavenly Father.

In 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), God told His prophet, Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” When it comes to meeting the man that God has ordained to walk with us through life and establishing a relationship with him, some of us want to rush the process to avoid spiritual growth. We think we’re ready, and we’re wondering why this blessing is delayed. We never think about the reality that God is looking at our hearts and that our failure to examine them is separating us from what we desire.

Our past relationships brought some deep-down stuff to the surface. We might have placed all the blame on the ex and absolved ourselves completely of any issues that came up, but not honestly dealing with an issue causes it to be on repeat. There were some things that came out of our mouths that provided a snapshot of what is in our hearts, and it was not a pretty picture. We’ve yet to deal with that, and it is hindering us from moving forward.

Our past indicates a tendency to rush into situations that aren’t for our good. We rushed into relationships with men without getting a greenlight from our Heavenly Father, and given the opportunity, we might do the same thing again. Rushing into anything or anyone is an indicator that we’re trusting our own abilities more than we trust in God’s wisdom and timing. That’s not good. Leaning on our own understanding is the foolishness that Proverbs 19:3 points to, so we should avoid this at all costs.

Before we walk down the aisle, we have to be prepared to handle the heft of what comes next, and the proof of that our good stewardship and spiritual strength is how we’ve handled and prioritized our relationship with God. When you make a mistake and realize it, this is not the time to run or blame, it’s the time to assess, reprioritize, and repent, because this prepares you for the compassion and patience marriage requires. It’s time to take a realistic look at the lessons of accountability, and make sure they are firmly in our grasp. We can’t rush past them, but we must seek the Lord for help to patiently confront any issue that keeps us from having a heart that is full of His love. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Rush”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

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