Moving Out of My Own Way

After years of back-to-back dateless holiday gatherings, Teresa, will be bringing someone new with her to her family’s Thanksgiving dinner. The last time she brought a man to dinner was over five years ago. Back then, her family all had their opinions about her new guy, and let’s just say they didn’t see a future for them. He was kind, a little bit older, and loves the Lord, but 35 and still behaving like a college freshman, Teresa had never been with anyone that was stable, and her family was shocked that she’d bring him to dinner. That relationship lasted all of two minutes, as they expected, and it was Teresa that ended things. Recently, she announced to her mom and siblings that she’d be bringing someone new this year. They’re all excited of course but secretly wondering if she’ll show up with one of the younger, immature guys with commitment phobia that she’s always chosen. They are in for a surprise.

If we’re being completely honest with ourselves, some of us don’t really believe that our prayers about relationships and marriage are making a difference. We need to look deep within and examine if we are truly praying in faith. Well, Michael, the man that Teresa briefly dated over five years ago, prayed for her salvation in faith. Many of us single people haven’t made this a habit pattern, but if we don’t have the faith and compassion to pray for the salvation of those we meet, how can we have the faith and compassion for marriage?

Many of us don’t pray that the people we date or have dated will be saved. If the relationship doesn’t turn into a significant one, we move on about our business as if that person never existed. Michael didn’t do this. Even though they eventually lost touch, he prayed for Teresa whenever she crossed his mind. He sent her the most thoughtful email letting her know that she’d be in his prayers.

God instructs us in Ephesians 4:32(NIV) to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” There can be no doubt that the world is a crazy and wicked place. The hearts of many people are cold and unkind, but this should never be said about one of God’s children. Ephesians 4:32 isn’t a suggestion. It’s a commandment, and God’s Will is that we get it done. We have our own agendas, attitudes, and baggage about men, but we need to move out of our own way to be a blessing. God requires this commitment from all of us.

Teresa said she believed in God and in Jesus Christ, but she wasn’t acquainted with God’s Holy Spirit. She thought the Spirit was a feeling that Christians get from time to time. She hardly ever read the Bible, but when she met Michael through a friend, she was intrigued by the peace and light he carried. As they talked, he explained faith in a way that penetrated her heart. He told her about the Holy Spirit, and that he lives in every born-again believer. She was nowhere near ready to make room for Michael’s commitment to God when she met him, but their talks about the indwelling Holy Spirit stayed with her.

Relationships for Teresa had always been challenging, and she couldn’t get out of her own way. She enjoyed the company of a man, but the fact of the matter is that she was terrified of being rejected. Most of the time, she chose men who, if they rejected her, she would be unscathed. She never had any intention of investing her heart, but she finally met someone who didn’t follow her script.  Everyone thought she was brazen and fearless because she always seemed to have the upper hand and ended relationships so quickly, but facing the pain of heartbreak, she started to dislike the person she had become.

She began reading the Bible and she’d write a verse on a sticky note each day. When she came across Jeremiah 29:11-13(NIV), she put it on her computer at work and in every room in her apartment. God tells us in this Old Testament passage, “11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Our Heavenly Father has not changed. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever, and He waits on us to come to Him. When we do, He desires that we trust the plan He has for our lives with our whole hearts.

Moving out of our own way may take baby steps for some of us, and baby steps is what Teresa made after Michael left an imprint of God’s love on her heart. For years she had played at dating, never really taking it or the men seriously, but when her heart was broken for the first time in her life, she became unglued and physically ill. She had never experienced that kind of pain, and she cried out to God for help. Another first for her was experiencing the comfort and peace of the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ said in John 14:16-17(DBY), “16 And I will beg the Father, and he will give you another Comforter, that he may be with you for ever, 17 the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see him nor know him; but ye know him, for he abides with you, and shall be in you.”

The Holy Spirit comes to live in us when we give our lives to God through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are never the same, and our lives change for the better. It doesn’t happen overnight. Growing in Christ takes commitment and time, but as we learn to walk by the leadership of the Holy Spirit, we slowly surrender to the person God created us to be. Teresa met someone who was a wonderful blessing to her life. She was very careful not to repeat the mistakes of the past. It felt good to introduce her family to a man that possessed all the good things they wanted for her. It felt even better to know that they could see many of those same good things in her now as well. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by Permission of Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide.

“Moving Out of My Own Way”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2025. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.