Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Like many of you, I had the privilege of being reared around strong Christian women. They demonstrated on a daily basis a relentless faith in God through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. They didn’t have it easy and dealt with some heavy-duty challenges. Many of them raised their children alone, at a time when child support was unheard of. I remember times when their estranged husbands would drop by every now and again. They’d make a small contribution that wouldn’t even be considered a tip for the struggles these women endured. But they were not deterred or discouraged, at least not that I could see. They kept it moving, and created for all of us a safe and loving haven. They couldn’t have done this had they not known that God’s love is real, and we can depend on it come what may.

In 2Corinthians 5:7, God tells us to walk by faith and not by sight. He doesn’t expect us to walk around with our physical eyes covered, but He’s letting us know that living based only on our five-sense knowledge will not take us where faith can. When it comes to dealing with adversity, sometimes we interpret having strength as maintaining a certain amount of control over things. We think we have to know all the facts or know what’s going to happen before we can trust. Well, God tells us to trust first! He wants us to depend on Him to lead, guide, and direct our steps. Not only must we have faith in His divine direction, but we must have faith that we will hear when He speaks.

Ephesians 3:20(NLT) tells us, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” How many times have people told us that we couldn’t do this, or couldn’t accomplish that? How often have people tried to put us down, or to influence us to quit pushing when the odds were stacked against us? We serve a God who has no barriers! His power is limitless! Our Heavenly Father is in the business of blessing His people beyond anything we could ever ask or think. He far exceeds our expectations, but you and I are not left out of the equation when it comes to this verse. God tells us that His mighty power is working on the inside of us. He wants us to know that some important spiritual work is happening deep in our souls. Even though we may not sense it, we are commanded to trust it. Our responsibility is to bring what He’s placed on the inside of us out in the open, by trusting His love and walking in it.

Hebrews 2:1 (NLT) tells us, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” When we have difficulties in life, we are sometimes tempted to tighten our rein on a situation and try to steer it our way. This is one of those old patterns that we had when we walked by sight. Again, God’s standard is that we walk by faith; there is no greater way to live. Is it always easy? No. It requires dedication, discipline, and a made-up mind. We have tremendous examples in God’s Word, and in our own lives, of people that have demonstrated that God’s way is always best.

We serve such a loving Father. He grants us grace and mercy, and He forgives us for our sins, stubbornness, and unwillingness to abandon our worries and trust faithfully in Him. Many single parents face tremendous challenges, and it can seem at times that they come from every direction. You can feel like all hope is lost when you have mouths to feed and not enough finances to take care of your obligations. The enemy wants to use these trials to zap your strength and convince you that God’s not going to handle the situation, but this is not the truth. God is working in you! To see His power flourish in us, we need to turn our thoughts and feelings to what Christ is doing, not what the devil is doing.

Hebrews 11:27(NLT) tells us,“It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible.” This is precisely what you and I must do! We can never make the mistake of drifting away from God’s truth, not when the struggle is heavy, and not for the sake of a man’s companionship. Our responsibility is to saturate our minds and hearts with God’s love, to let it be activated in us, and to let it flow through everything we impact and touch.

Psalm 95:7(NLT) assures us, “for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice today!” Don’t just seek God when your life starts to unravel, or when tragedy knocks at your door. He is our Protector, our Refuge…our Everything! This is the way we must see Him all the time. He tells us to listen to His voice, and we should never take our eyes off of Him, because we can be assured that He never takes His eyes off of us. He watches over us, and He will reward us when we place our trust in Him. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“His Eyes Are Always On Us”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

James 2:21-24 (NLT)
“Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. 23 And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.”[g] He was even called the friend of God.[h] 24 So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.”

Regardless of what your past may look like or what your current set of circumstances may be, nothing can compare to the love of God being activated by right actions and faith in Him. It’s like what happens when we put the key in the ignition and turn it; the motor begins to run and we start moving in the right direction. Trust and believe, it will never be enough for us to go to church on Sunday, pray, and then go back home inactivated. We should be learning to activate our faith through doing what God requires of us. This is such an important step to tapping into the flow of His blessings. Many of us are becoming disillusioned and disappointed, and it is because we are looking to others to do what God has assigned as our responsibility. It’s unpopular to say, but we are not hitting our stride by coupling our doing with our faith. This is one of the reasons why we’re not seeing things move in the direction we want.

Any time that we go near subjects like this, sisters will tell us, “God accepts me just the way I am. I’m not perfect. He made me, and He looks beyond my faults.” His grace is amazing and all of us know it, but at what point do we look honestly at our lives and figure out that things have stalled. Heavenly Father is our sufficiency. He provides for us, but obedience is non-negotiable. So, when it comes to monuments of unity and love like marriage and family, God is beyond on point. No, He doesn’t expect us to walk around like zombies with the bible in our hands 24/7, but He created us with a purpose in mind. He expects us to be an on-purpose, proactive, vigilant people with a loving attitude when it comes to honoring Him and His Word. We expect this from all our relationships, so if we expect it, we’ve got to present it to our Creator first and foremost.

There is no way we can lose out if we put all our trust in God. In Psalm 91:1, David invites us to sit down in the presence of the Almighty God. Just the thought of this really knocks your socks off. To think that we can come before the throne of the Most High God and stand in His presence is almost too much to take, but because of Christ we have this great privilege and honor. David said that when we sit at His throne and hang out there in our minds and hearts, we’ll be enveloped by His shadow; and in His shadow, blessings fall like apples from a tree. There are more blessings than we would know what to do with. You want to make the most out of your life, this is how you do it. You stay at the throne.

In Psalm 91:2, David encourages us to declare “God, you’re my refuge. I trust in you and I’m safe!” Trusting Heavenly Father is everything, and we can’t say that we do, and then flake out on His Word. He wants a very intimate relationship with us, and tells us that the way to build this intimacy is to simply trust Him and what He says. Abraham was called a friend of God because of the honor he had for God’s Word. He received divine instructions, and followed them. What about you? Are you listening to God’s instruction? Are you following where He leads? Are you doing the things in your life that will crystalize your efforts and turn them into magnets for the blessings you seek?

This is not the kind of encouragement that is for those who are satisfied with things as they are. This is for the sister that knows there is so much more available to her and she won’t stop until the manifestation of her efforts are realized. Just remember that your faith must be mixed with the love of God, and love is the greatest action word in the human vocabulary. Love is not stagnant. It is active, and when you are activated in God’s love, things cannot help but change.■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

“Not by Faith Alone”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

The “Wandering” Syndrome

The Word of God teaches us how to live in a way that keeps God’s blessings flowing in our direction, but sometimes, we do things that hinder the flow. This is a critical truth that can be very helpful for single women. We hear from many of you. You tell us how exhausting it is to keep pressing, and how disappointed you’ve been with the men you’ve dated. Many of you talk of giving up the quest. You say that you don’t know what you’re doing wrong, and you can’t figure out why the Lord hasn’t blessed you. It’s too frustrating to keep trying, you say.

We all know the verse in Matthew 6:33 (NKJV), where Jesus Christ tells us, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” God wants to add to you. He wants to increase you, and He wants the truth of this scripture to sink deep within your heart. When it does, a revelation will be deposited in your soul.

This revelation will be so consequential to your journey forward because it holds a key piece of practical knowledge that will aid your faith, and turn your exhaustion into fuel. In Deuteronomy 2:3 (NLT), God told the Israelites, “You have been wandering around in this hill country long enough;” The people of God were wandering about aimlessly, and it is clear that it did not please God. Think about that. Let it marinate a bit.

Heavenly Father is an on-purpose God, and He created us to be an on-purpose people. Wandering without purpose, direction, and conviction should not be a part of our make-up. We should steer clear of this kind of lifestyle because it isn’t pleasing to the Lord.

God reveals much about Himself through His promises. Our response to His promises not only requires our faith, but it requires action. Salvation is a free gift. It is not based on our works, but faith is a response of gratitude to God for all that He’s given us. He expects that it will be backed with the energy of our conviction and a demonstration of our love.

James 2:26 affirms and reminds us that faith without works is dead. We forget sometimes that ‘dead as a doorknob’ is how God views a faith that isn’t backed with good works. The people of Israel in the Old Testament wandered aimlessly in the hill country because they refused to execute God’s provision. He gave them the promise of inhabiting a land of milk and honey, but fear kept them bound.

In Deuteronomy 1:22 (MSG), Moses reminded them of how it all went down. He said “But then you all came to me and said, “Let’s send some men on ahead to scout out the land for us and bring back a report on the best route to take and the kinds of towns we can expect to find.”” This was a stall tactic, and it is what some of us do when our commitment and faith isn’t where it should be.

Moses then said in verses 29-33, “I tried to relieve your fears: “Don’t be terrified of them. God, your God, is leading the way; he’s fighting for you. You saw with your own eyes what he did for you in Egypt; you saw what he did in the wilderness, how God, your God, carried you as a father carries his child, carried you the whole way until you arrived here. But now that you’re here, you won’t trust God, your God—this same God who goes ahead of you in your travels to scout out a place to pitch camp, a fire by night and a cloud by day to show you the way to go.””

To encourage you in your quest to be married is an extreme privilege for us. We keep at it even though sisters don’t always respond the way we hope they will. We’ll never let up as long as the Lord tarries, because we are solidly convinced and fully persuaded that you can be who He says you can be, you can do what He says you can do, and you can have what He says you can have. It’s God great pleasure to see you happily married, and it is absolutely available to you. The truth that many sisters have a hard time facing is that, when it comes to partnering, you are either your best friend or your worse enemy.

The record in Deuteronomy 1 shows us that God’s people lacked the gumption to move with sheer determination and intention to claim the promise. Even after Heavenly Father had done so much for them, their minds and hearts were not elevated to a level of supernatural expectation. We live from the inside out. A lack of faith caused God’s people to have a wandering mind-and-heart-set. Because of it, they were scattered on the inside; therefore, they were scattered on the outside. This is the condition a lack of faith produces.

God’s reaction to their disobedience and lack of trust was equal to their fumbling and inaction. He told them in Deuteronomy 1:36 (MSG), “Not a single person of this evil generation is going to get so much as a look at the good land that I promised to give to your parents. Not one—except for Caleb son of Jephunneh. He’ll see it. I’ll give him and his descendants the land he walked on because he was all for following God, heart and soul.” This is the question that all of us must ask and answer for ourselves. Are we all for following God, heart and soul? Because if we are, we will never give up. We’ll keep pressing ourselves to back our faith with good works, and do so with the confidence that God will fulfill the promise. ■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

“The “Wandering” Syndrome”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

“16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives.  Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.  17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants.  And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires.  These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.” Galatians 5:16-17(NLT)

The struggle is real, there’s no doubt about it. It’s a fight to keep our flesh in check and to make sure we’re not valuing what it wants higher than what our soul needs. God doesn’t keep the fight a secret. He makes it very clear in Galatians 5:17 that within our physical bodies, our own sinful nature will fight against the Holy Spirit within, and the Spirit only wants to do good and help us. The sinful nature wants to do those things that are at odds with the things God wants us to do. He is always going to want the best for us. He wants us to live the kind of life that preserves us, and keeps us living optimally.

Essentially, we have two wills working against one another all the time.  So, as God’s children we have an important choice to make on a daily basis; who is going to win, the flesh or the Spirit? This seems like a very simple choice, but it is not. We have an enemy, the devil, who has tactics that can be very subtle and undetectable. We are often tricked by him to give in to what our sinful nature craves. As single Christian women, one of the ways he does this is to get us to begin valuing our desire to partner higher than we do our desire to please God.

This is a highly contestable fight, because on the one hand is our great desire to partner, and on the other hand is the Spirit’s desire to guide us, so that we partner in a way that is pleasing to God and fulfilling to us as well. One of the ways that we can resist the devil and gain momentum towards the manifestation of our desires is to recognize a few things about the way in which the Spirit guides.

John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will guide us into all truth. For you and I, the truth will always lead us back to God in Christ, and the call He has placed on our lives. We will never escape the reality of this, and we shouldn’t want to, because our continued journey towards higher heights and living a great life is contained in the reality of our destiny in Christ. A half-hearted trust in this will not cut it; we must be fully persuaded in the truth that God wants the best for us, and by following His direction, we can have it.

Like many of us, you may not know all the details of your destiny, but you can be assured that the indwelling Holy Spirit knows, and this is why it is so important to let him guide you. He knows who your husband is, and he knows where he is. Most importantly, he knows what you should do in order to prepare to partner with your future husband. He will reveal these things to you, but you have to pay attention. Through your everyday experiences, he will give you promptings and information that is extremely useful towards your quest to be a spouse.

This season that you’re in may feel like a drag-down, knock-out. You might be weary from the wait, and you may be emotionally exhausted from all the stuff you’ve gone through in past relationships. Yes, it’s a constant fight, but it is a fight you can win, and have won through Jesus Christ! God knows your pain, and He wants you to give yourself a fighting chance by leaning totally on the Spirit. You’ve leaned on your flesh. You’ve leaned on your emotions. You’ve leaned on the men you thought were the one. It’s time for a better approach. Let the Spirit guide you, and trust totally in the reality that he knows where you ought to be, and who you ought to be with. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Constant Fight”, written by FACM writers for FindChristianMan.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Sometimes, we Christians forget that God made Science. All the new discoveries and technological advances exist because of the brilliance that Heavenly Father has woven into all of creation. Today, we are seeing Christian scholars have dialogues about Quantum Physics, because they are beginning to understand how it correlates with biblical truths, and in some cases, expands our understanding of them. Take the body for instance, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, yet the human body is 50% to 75% water. As powerful as we are physically, and as intricately woven together as we are, it’s astounding to think that the body mostly consists of something as fluid as water. This should prompt us to consider the potency of something as fluid as a thought.

A thought isn’t tangible. We can’t touch or feel it. We can’t hold it in our hands and examine it from all angles. It is an expression of an idea or feeling, and although it is seemingly transparent, it is one of the most powerful elements of human existence.

Thoughts are vibrations, and vibrations are frequencies. This is what Heavenly Father created thought to be. Frequencies ultimately result in the manifestation of matter; as thoughts of faith ultimately result in the manifestation of what we are believing to receive. This is the amazingly potent effect of focusing our thoughts on the living-breathing, positives of God’s Word.

Physics teaches us that everything has a vibration. When atoms are observed under incredibly powerful microscopes, they can be seen vibrating. All energy behaves this way. Understanding the mechanics of how things work has not been high on the priority list of many Christians, but God tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge. He doesn’t want us to be ignorant, but to get as much understanding as possible, so that we become wise.

Negativity is at the base or bottom level of existence; it is barely life at all. In other words, it is the lowest form and frequency of operating. Negativity resonates and vibrates with negativity. It is all things dark, deadly, destructive, oppressive, and fearful. It calls attention to what it is. So, when we have negative thoughts, we are signaling everything that vibrates at a level of our negativity; and thereby attracting it to ourselves. Negative thoughts can create a negative cycle that can potentially encapsulate our lives and keep us spiraling downward. Yes, all of this stems from something as powerful and fluid as a thought.

Make no mistake, this is not New Age goobledygook. This is the science behind the brilliant way God created everything to work. When you understand this, you can see why He tells us to fix our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. These are the components of excellence and praise! They have a high frequency; and therefore, vibrate and draw to us the most positive of positives.

God is giving us a strategy for remaining in the arc of His safety, protection, and care. He’s telling us how to stay out of the enemy’s territory of death and destruction. By saturating our thought life with what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable, we come into agreement and harmony with God’s goodness through Jesus Christ.

How many of us can actually say that most of our thoughts consist of at least three of the qualities listed in Philippians 4:8?  If we’re honest, many of us would give ourselves a pat on the back if we’re staying our minds on at least one of them. We have become accustomed to worldly behavior, and allow the world’s systems to bombard us with too many distractions.

The Apostle Paul said in 2Corinthians 10:5 (NLT), “We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” This is the hallmark of a true disciple of Christ. We are to capture the thoughts that go against the grain of God’s love and teach them to obey the Lord Jesus Christ. We do this so that we don’t add to the negativity of this world; we bring light to it, so that darkness can be exposed and eradicated.

God tells us in Romans 12:2(NKJV), “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” To reverse the negative and move ourselves into a positive trajectory, there’s no question about it; we’ve got to renew our minds. This is the methodology that God has given us to align our mental and emotional centers with the guidance of the indwelling Holy Spirit. This is how we keep our relationship with God on track.

Negativity blocks you from being your very best for God. A carnal mind is an undisciplined and untrained mind. The Word teaches us that it is an enemy of God. We must begin to train our thoughts to move in the direction that He has told us they should go. He tells us to renew our minds by transforming our thoughts; this is His definitive directive. Make the conscious choice to renew your mind. Change your thoughts to those that mirror the mind of Christ. If you dedicate yourself to this practice, you will see a dramatic change in your life in the present, and you will lay the groundwork for a fabulous future!■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“What Are You Thinking?”, written by FACM, FindingChristianMan.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

As I was taking a walk with a colleague, a person approached us and asked if we could spare some change. If I am moved by the Holy Spirit to do so, I endeavor to give when asked, but neither of us had any money at that time. We walked a little further down and the woman said to me, “I’m a hard-working woman, and I have bills to pay. It makes me so angry to see people walk up and ask for money that way.” None of us can deny that asking for money on the streets by those who have fallen on hard times isn’t what it used to be. For some, ‘begging’ has become an organized profession; with ranks and bosses. But does this mean that we abdicate our responsibility to give to those who ask?

Spiritual maturity, as well as common sense, should be considered whenever we’re approached for money. It can place us in harm’s way, and we can’t be ignorant about this. However, equally harmful to our spiritual walks is denying to give and be a blessing when God has ordained that we do so. The Word teaches us to make a habit pattern of giving. Proverbs 19:17 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Mercy to the needy is a loan to God, and God pays back those loans in full.”

In some respects, I understood my colleague’s frustration. She was expressing a sentiment that I’ve heard others express as well, but we live in an increasingly complex time. There are those that are not able to keep pace as well as some of us are able to. They fall through the cracks, especially individuals that are mentally ill and have emotional challenges. They are either denied access to healthcare or they refuse it. In either case, it is a very difficult thing to see.

We haven’t given nearly as much attention to giving as we ought to, but it is top-tier in the teaching of Jesus Christ. Despite the difficulty of watching their plights play out, he already told us that the poor, broken-hearted, and down-trodden would be among us. Some of them have fallen really hard, and need a lot of help. We have a responsibility to Christ to do what we can.

In Matthew 25:27-40(NLT), Jesus Christ taught about the day of judgement for each of us. He said, “ 27-29 Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God’s hand for that person. Don’t tell your neighbor “Maybe some other time” or “Try me tomorrow” when the money’s right there in your pocket. 34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ 37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[f] you were doing it to me!’”

If you are struggling financially, and living pay check to pay check, then you may find it difficult to give liberally. There are still others of us who have the financial means to give way more than what we do; and we fall short of Jesus’ expectation. He tells us in Luke 6:38 (NLT), “Give, and you will receive.  Your gift will return to you in full – pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap.  The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

God also tells us through the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 9:7,8 (NLT), “You must each decide in your heart how much to give.  And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure.  For God loves a person who gives cheerfully. 8; And God will generously provide all you need.  Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. So, the way to increase our financial capacity, and to hold on to what we have, is to be a blessing and give to others. This is the way that we create a portal that God’s blessings will continuously flow through.

The bottom line is that we need to be intentional about our giving. If you’re feeling a little unsure or unsafe about giving money to those on the streets, pray about it and ask Heavenly Father for direction from the indwelling Holy Spirit. Choose a specific day that you’d like to be a blessing, and pray that on that day, an opportunity to give will open up to you. If your heart is to give in the way that Christ has instructed, He will make sure that the right opportunity and the right person crosses your path. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Amount You Give”, written for FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Proverbs 27:17 (NLT), says “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”  Having a friend that you can count on is a very wonderful gift. This verse in Proverbs paints a portrait of a true friend. There’s a shared sense of caring and concern for one another that grows and develops in a meaningful and supportive friendship. You want each other to succeed in life, and you pour into each other’s lives because you want to see the friendship flourish. In short, a true friend is someone that is on point, and helps us to be on point as well.

How to recognize a potential friend?

My grandmother doled out many pieces of phenomenal wisdom to her grandchildren. One of them was, “Everyone that says they’re your friend, isn’t your friend.” In her own way, she was letting us know that talk is cheap. You really have to look at a person’s actions to know what they are about. A person that has made Jesus Christ the head of their lives and has made a commitment to live for him has the potential to become a good friend. By choosing Christ they have chosen love as the foundation of their lives. Not only is this wise, but it demonstrates a person’s willingness to make things like compassion, gentleness, patience, and generosity a staple in their character.

Look in God’s Word for Examples of Real Friendship

In Genesis 18, God shared His intentions with Abraham. We see a dialogue between them that shows us their friendship. Verses 17-19 tells us, “17 “Should I hide my plan from Abraham?” the Lord asked. 18 “For Abraham will certainly become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him. 19 I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.” Abraham is the Father of our believing because he was fully persuaded in God. He knew that if God said it, then it must be true. Heavenly Father also trusted in Abraham. He declared that the descendants of Abraham would become a great nation, and they would be blessed as a result of Abraham’s commitment to honor and trust God.

This is one of the greatest examples in God’s Word of a true friendship. Abraham did not have the indwelling Holy Spirit that you and I have, but still he believed God, and God stamped him “righteous!” because of his faith. There was mutual respect and trust between them, and this was the foundation on which many future blessings rested.

Respect and trust are built as we do things like honor our commitments, speak the truth when we know it will not be easy to hear, and love unconditionally with the heart of Christ. In His Word, God reveals over and over how a commitment to these kinds of qualities are the benchmark of a mutually fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.

Be the Friend You Want

It is important for us to make a decision to start behaving like the friends we hope to have in our lives. Loyalty, honesty, companionship, commonality of interests, and good communication are qualities that we need from others so that we will feel appreciated and valued. We also need to make sure that we are cultivating these characteristics within our own personhood. It is not fair to expect something from a person when we are not holding up the standard ourselves. So as we think about what we desire in our friendships, we need to make sure that we are willing to equal or exceed the benchmarks we set.

Most of us have been taught that we should look at what a person does and not so much what they say. 1John 3:18 (NIV) says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”  Jesus Christ also told us in Matthew 7:20 (NLT), “Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”  A real and true friendship is one where we can see the love of Christ in the person’s actions, because they are always looking out for us in ways that add and not subtract from our lives. We don’t see this kind of commitment in friendships often; good friends are not the easiest to find, but if we trust Heavenly Father, and commit ourselves to be faithful, He will help us to meet friends that will be a true blessing to our lives.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A True Friend Indeed”, written by FACM ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!