Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT), “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Paul went on to say, “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” When you’re coming out of a relationship that didn’t go as expected, it can be really challenging to remain optimistic about your marital future. I was in this situation, and 2 Corinthians 12:9 really ministered to my heart. I was sure I’d marry the Christian man that I had known for a few years and truly loved. We got along great, but he held certain beliefs about women that wasn’t aligned with God’s Word. We were both very adamant about pursuing the Lord with our whole hearts, but even though we were Christians, we couldn’t get past this obstacle. He had received counsel and advice in this area that was completely different than what I believed God wanted for us as believers.

This period in my life was one of those times that I questioned God a lot. I asked the same thing that many Christian women ask when it comes to getting their hearts smashed, “God, why did You let this happen to me?” I was sure this relationship would work out and that we’d walk hand in hand through life.  The man that I thought would be my husband is such a gentle and caring man. He has the most compassionate heart of any person I had ever met. Most of the pieces seemed to fit, but there were certain areas—very important areas—where he was unwilling to compromise. In a relationship, sometimes this quality can make the other person feel like they are enslaved by four unmovable and impenetrable walls. It was a feeling I couldn’t shake.

I felt exactly as the Psalmist described in Jeremiah 8:18(NLT) “My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken.” There was no meeting half-way between the two of us. He was not going to budge and allow the Spirit to really minister to his heart, and I felt that he should have. I was torn and conflicted. I began to regret that we had met, and my mind drifted to doubt and dismay. It wasn’t until I was able to hear God’s strong Word come through the mouths of wise, Godly women that I began to see clearly.

One of the reasons I was so hurt is that when it all boiled down to it, this man had been taught something that I knew wasn’t biblical, and he was not willing to release it. On one hand, I witnessed his incredible compassion and kindness, and on the other hand I saw stubbornness on a level I had never seen. It really hurt my feelings to see that his love for me was not as strong as mine was for him. No matter how I tried to spin it, this is what it came down to.

There can be power in the pain. You’re not really thinking about this when you’re going through tough times. You just want the pain to stop and to get through the situation without feeling as though you’re losing more of yourself. The truth is that there is always going to be triumph after pain for the Christian. You’re going to know more, be stronger, and most importantly you will be better prepared for the right opportunity when it comes along.

I saw with my own two eyes the damage wrong believing can do, even to those who are Christians. I saw how it immobilizes a person when they refuse to grow and know more, and how it causes them to be stuck in all kinds of ways. Because I cared so deeply for this man, and was totally emotionally invested, I could have continued trying to hang on to something I knew in my heart was not going to work. I’m so thankful that I let it go, and did so without bitterness in my heart.

I knew the truth of God’s Word, and it will never, ever let us down. I grabbed on to Jesus Christ with all the strength within me, and I trusted that my latter days would be greater than my former. I leaned on Jesus Christ to get me through, and he did not disappoint me.

Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, deserves to be the head of our lives. He can carry the weight of our pain, and turn it into victory. This is why he tells us in Matthew 11:30(NLT), “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” He is our burden-bearer, and we need to be patient as his power strengthens our weaknesses. Pain is a calling card for change, and we have to stop ignoring the signal, because it lets us know that we are undermining ourselves, and not loving ourselves as Christ loves us. We’re accepting something that isn’t a part of our destinies, even though we may have been sure at one time that it was.

So if you are holding on to something that makes you feel bad about your life or yourself, make the decision to let God show up for you. It may feel uncomfortable letting go, but you’ll soon feel a sense of relief because you’re trusting God to be your sufficiency. He will ALWAYS take care of you, and shower you with His goodness and mercy. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When It Didn’t Work Out, and You Were Sure It Would”, written by K.Y. Renee for Findchristianman.com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

You didn’t just all of a sudden decide to be God’s child. He handpicked you out before you were even in your mother’s womb. He purposed your existence before the foundation of the world. This mind-blowing piece of revelation isn’t news to you I’m sure, because Ephesians 1:5, 11 confirms it in God’s Word. You have a purpose, and because of this purpose within God’s Plan and Will, there have been certain things that haven’t come easy for you. You might even feel as though you’ve had more than your fair share of struggle and opposition. There may have been more people working against you than those that have worked with you, and you can’t understand why everything has to be so difficult at times. Why is it that you continue to endure hardships through the wait, and your breakthrough still hasn’t happened?

It is no secret that your breakthrough and purpose are connected. God has goals for each of us, and one of His greatest goals is for truth to become the prominent part of our nature. He wants His Word to so permeate our brain cells and hearts that when we enter a room, the first thing that people see is the Christ in us. There’s a process to this. The reason why we know it is a process is because we are not all that we are going to be at the point we first confess and give our lives to Christ. There is still yet caboodles of spiritual yumminess that we have to put on mentally and behaviorally as we journey forward in Christ.

The one thing that you must know with every fiber in your being is that the answer to the question “Where is my breakthrough?” is contained in the piece of truth that you have yet to put on in your mind and heart. You can deny this, neglect it, and refuse to do anything about it, but every single occurrence in your life will bring you back to this reality. There is no denying that you have gained biblical knowledge and spiritual know-how over the years. This is in your arsenal right now, but as it relates to the breakthrough blessing that you are seeking for your life, there’s a specific truth that you haven’t yet comprehended on the deepest level. You haven’t comprehended it on a level that spearheads a transformation that is required for the blessing you seek.

It isn’t God’s desire that we suffer and struggle, but some of us go through it so much longer than we need to because we won’t seek God with all of our hearts, strength, souls, and minds for this particular piece of spiritual armor. His grace and mercy covers us through the struggle, but it doesn’t remove from us the responsibility to seek. It is our obligation to prove to Heavenly Father that we can handle the heft of the blessing we desire. We’re more than conquerors, and Jesus Christ has already told us in Luke 12:48(KJV) that “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.” The ‘much’ that is required is continued spiritual growth in the Holy Spirit.

You are so close to the breakthrough you’ve been praying to receive. Continue to pray for revelation regarding your purpose, and pay very close attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. You are rising higher in faith, patience, and endurance. Very soon, your purpose and breakthrough will intersect, and not only will you receive the blessing you’ve been praying about, but most importantly,  you will have a greater intimacy in your relationship with Heavenly Father through the Lord Jesus Christ.

“When Your Purpose and Breakthrough Intersect” written for FindingChristianMan.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Mark 11:23-24(NLT)
“I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, may you be lifted up and thrown into the sea, and it will happen.  But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. 24 I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.”

Jesus Christ told us that if we say to this mountain, “be lifted up and thrown into the sea”, it will happen.  But here’s the thing, you must really believe that it’s going to happen, and you must not have doubt in your heart. Many of us will probably not admit it, but having doubt in our hearts is where we miss the boat. Doubt is a dream killer, and it’s a sneaky thing too. We may think we’re trusting God enough. We think that if we keep begging and repeating the same prayer, after a while, it’s going to happen.  And when it doesn’t happen, when the prayer request we desire most doesn’t materialize, many of us lose it!

God doesn’t withhold blessings. He doesn’t punish us, and He never makes a mistake. So, if it’s not God, we have to take a blatantly honest look at ourselves. 2Corinthians 13:5 (NKJV) says, “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith.” This is really difficult for many women to do. They can’t bring themselves to consider that something they may be doing or something they may NOT be doing is blocking their blessing.

God isn’t telling us to take a good long look in the mirror to place us in self-condemnation. He wants to help us put some corrective measures in place. 2Timothy 3:16 tells us that ALL scripture is God breathed, and is useful to teach us the truth, and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. The scripture corrects us when we’re going off the rails, and it instructs us in God’s righteousness. Whenever you and I have an attitude that’s continually open to correction by God’s Word, it delights the Holy Spirit that dwells within. Our humility gives him permission to help us get rid of the things that are holding us back.

This week, I had a conversation with a woman who for many years has made a habit pattern of doubt, and refuses to admit it. She simply doesn’t trust God’s Word enough, and it is evident by her actions. She told me a female friend of hers recently called her up out of the blue to ask for a picture of her.  She thought it was an odd request. It turns out that her friend’s boyfriend has a brother, and she wanted to introduce them to each other. I thought it was a very nice gesture, but as she’s done many times before, this woman immediately began a recitation of what she will and will not accept, and this new guy would have to check off the requirements on her list before she would agree to provide the picture.

Every woman has the right to want what she wants, but when we don’t give our desires to God and allow Jesus Christ to spearhead the process, we’re not on the winning side. We can’t control all the details, and when we make a habit pattern of trying to do this, we make ‘doubt’ our friend and ‘faith’ our enemy. We cut off ourselves from the blessing God wants to introduce into our lives.

Baggage is an equal opportunity employer, and we all have it. We have to recognize this. It’s the only way to move it out of our way. Being flexible and humble when it comes to God’s Will for our lives is a requirement, but some of us are simply too stubborn and arrogant to get out of our own way. This keeps us stuck.

1John 5:14(NLT) tells us, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” Faith requires us to ask according to God’s Will; not our will, but His. He knows what’s best for us. Rather than trying to control the outcomes, we need to simply pray and ask Heavenly Father to keep us in His Will. Romans 8:28 tells us that He causes everything to work together for our good. Yes, sometimes, faith also requires us to step outside our comfort zones, but we’ve got to be willing to squash the habits that keep us stuck, and be obedient to God so that we can move forward in our quest for a successful marital union.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“She’s Made ‘Doubt’ Her Friend and ‘Faith’ Her Enemy”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Lachelle told me that she never loved a man as much as she loved Joe. I knew Joe before she met him. He is a handsome guy, but not overly so, and I found him to be kinda’ quiet. No one would accuse him of being too friendly, but he seemed nice enough. I had always heard that he has a bit of a mean streak, but was conscious of it and tried to hide it. My sister says that you have to watch out for the quiet ones because they always have something to hide, and you wouldn’t want to be the one to find out what it is. In my view, that’s a pretty accurate description of Joe.

I was also struck by how little affection I saw them display as a couple. Normally, this is no big deal. There are plenty of compassionate and kind people that aren’t that keen on public displays of affection, but Lachelle is a notorious hugger and is one of the most affectionate persons I know. At first, I didn’t understand the changes I noticed in her, but one day it all made sense. Joe had no doubt touched something in her soul that she responded to deeply, but he was also physically abusive. She excused it away as him loving her passionately, and not being able to control it sometimes.

Like a lot of abuse victims, Lachelle tried covering the bruises with too much make-up or refusing to meet up with us because her body (and soul) was too sore from the fight the night before. After around ten times or so of witnessing the aftermath of his anger, I stopped counting the times I suspected they had been fighting. They weren’t married, and sometimes she would swear to us that she would leave the relationship for sure, but time after time Lachelle went back to Joe. It wasn’t my first time seeing this kind of obsession play out in a relationship. You want so desperately to help, but the people involved have to want help.

Sometimes, we teach ourselves to have wrong beliefs about love. Too many romantic fairytales, movies, and myths cloud our heads, and we start to believe that we’re missing something that only a prince on a white horse can give us. We wait and wait for him to come to our rescue. And even though we’ve not learned to discern whether someone is a real toad who’s just playing the role of a prince, some of us latch on to him. We do so because the proverbial toad has been playing the role long enough to spot a particular yearning in the princess, and he knows exactly how to pounce on it.

In John 8:32, Jesus Christ said that the truth will set us free. This is a razor-sharp piece of yumminess that will keep God’s children on the path of their destinies, but one thing is required, and it is that we understand what it means to be free. God created us out of His love. He created us to be children of light! 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) says, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” In this verse, we can clearly see that God has made a distinct separation between light and darkness. From light, we get qualities synonymous with intelligence, liberty, confidence, love, joy, and peace. From darkness, we get the exact opposite; we get qualities that represent ignorance, bondage, fear, hate, sadness, and chaos. So, there can be no question that God’s Will for His children is that we be free, and not weighted down by bondage in any area of our lives. God’s standard for right living is one of liberty. That’s good news indeed!

1Corinthians 13:5(NLT) tells us that love “does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.”  If we are going to live with authenticity, with the conviction of purpose and gratitude, we can’t do it by gobbling up myths and lies about what life is and how it’s supposed to be lived. Nor do we have time to label something ‘LOVE’ when it’s not love at all, but a plot sent from hell to manipulate us out of our destinies. Those unable to acknowledge that they are being used for darkness, and not light, will sometimes hide behind the wickedness of abuse, but ultimately, they will be exposed. When they are, those that have suffered their wrath must have the courage to see them for what they are.

A prince is a gallant individual that helps you shine, and will never do anything to hinder or cause you to hide your light. This is the kind of person you deserve. An abuser is often a toad that will never transform into a prince. He can’t even rescue himself from darkness, so it would be a mistake to assume that he can help rescue you. Be rescued by the light of Christ, and be willing to wait for the prince God will bring across your path. He may not have a white horse, but he knows the light and will help to preserve it in you.■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“The Toad Doesn’t Always Turn into a Prince” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

It isn’t enough to tell you not to do something that will adversely impact your quest to get married. In order to provide you with substantive tools that will greatly aid your quest, you have to know WHY you should or should not do something. The right knowledge is power, and the source of all right knowledge is God’s Word. It is the definitive authority on everything that there is. Heavenly Father tells us in 2Peter 1:3 that through His divine power, He’s given us everything we need for living a good and Godly life. He’s provided us access to this kind of life through the knowledge of His Son, Jesus Christ. So, everything that you and I could possibly need to be fulfilled, accomplished, and happy can be obtained by living our lives by the example of Jesus Christ. Whenever we veer away from living our Christ reality, red flags go up and flashing lights appear. When it comes to your quest for marriage, you have to ask yourself if you’re ignoring the warnings.

In Romans 12:1(NIV), God tells us, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” God wants to live through us so that we are more effective in introducing His Kingdom on earth, and so that our experience of life on earth is more fulfilling and abundant. He desires to work in us to will and do of His good pleasure. He never takes from us, but gives continually; and in Romans 12:1, He’s asking us to give Him greater space in which to work in our lives. He’s asking that we present ourselves before Him as a living sacrifice. This informs us right off the bat that sacrifice is a very important piece to living through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is also a very essential component to preparing for and maintaining a marriage.

In order to rescue believers from the pit of hell and purchase us back from the ruler of darkness, Jesus had to offer his life as a sacrifice for our sins. He had to die the most horrific death imaginable. Hebrews 12:2 tells us that this was a price he paid gladly because of the joy that was set before him—the joy of having us, you and me, in God’s family. He did it to please the Father, and because of his great love for us all. You and I were not capable of ransoming ourselves from the devil. Our sinful nature kept us locked in his dungeon of darkness and despair. But although we could never have paid the price that Jesus paid, we should understand the pattern that he’s set. Through his example, Jesus Christ has demonstrated pure faith. He showed us that sacrifice is endured gladly when the joy of the reward is believed wholeheartedly.

Do you believe God will bless you with a good and Godly husband?
Have you sacrificed fleshly pleasures because of the conviction of your faith?

There can be no question that there are going to be some things we have to give up in order to gain more and go higher. Some of those are things we find pleasurable. Everything in life, and when I say ‘everything’, I mean EVERYTHING in life is spiritual. If you want to understand the ‘why’ of things, you must put them in the context of spiritual. God is a Spirit. He created everything there is, and everything that He created was intended to flow harmoniously with His divine Will, which is good and perfect in every way. Whenever the intention of our minds and hearts seeks to step outside the Will of God, we will experience in life what amounts to red flags and flashing lights. These come in the form of interrupted peace, mistakes, missteps, and hiccups. We would do ourselves the greatest favor by taking corrective spiritual action before things become worse.

In Matthew 16:19, Jesus Christ declared that He’s given us the keys to the Kingdom, which means whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven; whatever we bind on earth, will be bound in heaven. When it comes to the choices and decisions we make daily, we have only these two buckets of which to cast our energy and resources. We either bind or loose. SIN binds, OBEDIENCE loosens.

It’s important to understand this because we don’t always make the best choices when it comes to honoring our temples. We can’t partner with sin and expect a Godly result. Heavenly Father is a God of order, and obedience to Him requires that we follow His Word. Women hold the keys to a happy and fulfilling marriage through being obedient to God’s Word. You represent the greatest asset in your own quest to partner in marriage, but understand that God can’t help you partner in sin. He’s helping you prepare for what you’ve been about by loosening the walls around your heart, so that you love freely and unconditionally, through HIM! Red flags and flashing lights in your circumstances are queuing you in that disobedience has reared its ugly head. Don’t ignore the signs. Line up your actions and decisions with God’s Word.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Red Flags and Flashing Lights” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

John 3:20-21(NLT)
“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.”

I had a conversation with my nephew a couple of weeks ago, and he said something that was really astounding to me. It was a revelation, and immediately drew my attention to John 3:20-21 like a lightning rod. For a while, he noticed something about some of his friends. Whenever they’d stop by, they would only go as far as the front steps of his home. He was kind and courteous, and of course invited them in, but they always decline and say they’ll catch up with him later. He mentioned that although he’d spoken to them about Jesus Christ, they never really had an interest, and didn’t care to know more about our Lord and Savior.

My nephew concluded that some of his friends were refusing the light and as a result, could not tolerate what the light of Christ exposes. Based on the truth that our Blessed Lord and Savior shared with us in John 3:20-21, my nephew is exactly right. When you love the Lord, and carry His love in your heart, it will either attract the light to you or it will certainly dispel the darkness around you. The truth of this passage in John 3 declares it emphatically, and says that all who do evil hate the light.

God has given every Christian the responsibility to discern what is of His Kingdom, and what is from the kingdom of darkness. Most of us are able to do this, but we sometimes shut-off our spiritual senses. We want to maintain our associations with darkness, and we enjoy the company of those who do not hunger for righteousness. As single women desiring to be married, we must be incredibly careful about this. The enemy knows our weaknesses, and he knows how to lure us in and trap us. We should not make the dangerous mistake of assuming he will be merciful in his attack. If we have not properly guarded our hearts, and have made an emotional investment in someone who secretly hates the light, the consequences are very painful and last longer than any of us would care to imagine.

Our Lord and Savior didn’t mince words when it comes to light and darkness. The Pharisees were an extremely arrogant group of people who hated Jesus Christ. They were blinded by satan, and would try and trap Jesus Christ with questions. If he gave an answer against their beliefs and laws, they would attempt to imprison him, but he was so razor-sharp that they were never able to manipulate his wisdom. In John 8:43-45(NLT), he told the Pharisees, “Why can’t you understand what I am saying? It’s because you can’t even hear me! For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. So when I tell the truth, you just naturally don’t believe me!”

The devil hates the light, and so does his children. God is not telling us to isolate ourselves from those who desperately need to hear the truth, but He has told us in Romans 12:2 that we must never let anything or anyone in the world conform us. Instead, we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We are beacons of light and love. 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.”  So our responsibility is to share the gospel with those who thirst after it, but for those who deny it or want no parts of it, we’re to dust off any residue of their darkness and keep it moving.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Dust It off and Keep It Moving”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Relationships between men and women can feel conditional at times. You may feel that if you don’t do something to his or her liking, their level of love and affection for you might decrease. Most of us realize that relationships involve give and take. The optimum balance would be 50/50 between both partners, but if we’re honest, it doesn’t always turn out this way. In fact, you might have been in relationships where you did most of the giving, and he did most of the taking. Not cool. That’s why it’s so invigorating to know that our Heavenly Father’s love isn’t like that. His love is unconditional; He loves us no matter what.

We don’t have to be perfect, but one of the things that is required of us as God’s children is to have faith and trust in Him. Even when we do things that fall short of His love and grace, He still loves us the same, and it is important that we understand that only He can give us a love like this.

I’ve witnessed actions of women who have such a desire to be loved that they will forgo all sense of reason for the sake of having the attention of the man in their lives. This is motivated from fear, and not love. Any relationship worth having will require a lot of work, and it can be very challenging, but if we keep our eyes on the Lord, He’ll help us through tough times. We begin to spiral downward in our relationships when we take our focus off God. That’s when our priorities get out of whack.

Heavenly Father doesn’t stop loving us when our emotions are all over the place. He comforts and teaches us. We see this in Isaiah 43, when Jacob and the Children of Israel got out of hand, and wouldn’t walk in the ways of God. They were stubborn, lost their zeal for Godliness, and treated Heavenly Father horribly. This landed them in a ton of trouble, because their priorities shifted away from God, but He did not abandon them. He told Jacob in Isaiah 43:1(NLT), “But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.””  God continued His love and care for Jacob and Israel. Romans 5:20(NLT) says, “God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant.”

God looks at our hearts, and they must be anchored in Him. We really have to be careful in our relationships with men, that we recognize they can’t give us the kind of unconditional love that fills the emptiness in our souls. Only God can do this. God loves us all unconditionally, and when our focus is on learning to love as He loves, our relationships with others will blossom, because they will be centered on Christ and not on ourselves.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Centered on Christ” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!