Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

  • No Point in the Look-Back

    No Point in the Look-Back

    I was going through some of my old emails over the weekend and came across a few that made me chuckle and reminisce about the old days. In one of them, a classmate had forwarded a picture he kept from our high school days. Here it is, over twenty-five years later, and he still has this picture of me. He even shared what I wrote on the back of it, “It’s not one of my favorite pictures, but I hope you like it.” I was fourteen years old and in the ninth grade at the time. Looking at that picture, I thought to myself, “Oh, if I could just talk to the girl in that picture and tell her what I know now.” 

    Some of the most profound words of wisdom was spoken to me this week. The pearl I received was “God wants us to get comfortable with trusting and relying on Him and not relying on man, money or anything else the world has to offer.”  The earth is grooming ground for our faith. No matter what we go through in life, it is the trying of our faith that brings out the best results, because we must trust God through it all.

    The Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT), “12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” This has always been one of my favorite passages. There is no point in looking back at what used to work or making ourselves miserable by reliving the embarrassment of past mistakes. There’s no need to even look back at old relationships. Let what happened in the past remain just that…in the past.

    We need to keep our focus and attention on God, and what He has in front of us! God wove the wisdom of age and maturity into our growth. He designed it to be a process instead of an instantaneous event. Our faces may look different, but if we’re in Christ, we’re a better version of ourselves than we could have ever hoped to be.

    I really wouldn’t trade anything that has happened in my life. Every circumstance, every tribulation, every heart-break and every great moment that has been afforded to me, has deepened my well of gratitude for the love of Christ. There’s no point in the look-back if it isn’t to celebrate the goodness of God and the reality that the best is yet to come!■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “No Point in the Look-Back”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

  • He Will Do the Rest

    He Will Do the Rest

    A couple of weeks ago, I was coming out of the grocery store on the way to my car when a homeless man approached me and asked if I could give him anything to get food. Like most folks, I’m extremely careful whenever I’m approached, but it was in a well-lit area, lots of folks around, and this man seemed to be cognizant that keeping a safe space would better his chances of receiving; he made sure not to appear threatening in any respect. I had slipped a few dollars in my coat pocket and felt that giving them to him would be well with my soul, but before I did, I asked, “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

    As Christians, we miss enormous opportunities to witness the Word of God to people every day. Either we’re too proud to open our mouths, we’ve made the horrendous mistake of devaluing and overlooking others, or we are persuaded that our two-cents will not have a significant impact. Whatever the case, we’ve created a culture within Christianity where many are quiet when they should be vocal, and they are vocal when they should be quiet.

    Without hesitation, the man quickly answered, “Yes, I sure have. When I was a child, I went to church all the time.” He said. I could’ve taken his word for it right then and there, and given him the money, but I sensed that I was to say a bit more. I didn’t want to take a chance on losing a divine opportunity, so I said to him, “Before I give you this money, would you mind repeating this scripture with me.” I quoted Romans 10:9-10, and he repeated every word I said. After encouraging him with more of the Good News, I then gave him the money.

    There was a time when I, along with other of my Christians friends, did a fair amount of this, but this was years past. We would be unwise to ignore the dangers that are present today, but this doesn’t mean that we abdicate our obligation to the call of God. It means that we are to be even more committed to walk by the Spirit, so that we can hear His voice and heed His call.

    In Revelation 3:20(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” This invitation from Jesus Christ should come through our lips to the hearts and minds of others as we introduce, or reintroduce, them to his love. God’s Word is alive! He said in Isaiah 55:11(NLT) “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” Our responsibility is to be a beacon of light in the earth, and extend to others what has been so freely extended to us. We are not to be concerned about how we are received. Our only obligation is to put God’s love in the atmosphere and be a witness. He will do the rest. ■

    Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “He Will Do the Rest” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • God’s Contagious, Ever-Abiding Love

    God’s Contagious, Ever-Abiding Love

    I’m sure you’ve heard people make the statement, “You can’t help who you love” or “The heart does what it wants to do.” It’s true that the heart can be untamed in its desires, but God has given us something called free-will. He has also given us the responsibility to exercise the gift of free-will when it comes to what goes in our hearts, and what comes out of them. So, He wants us to take a different approach when it comes to love, because love is serious business. 1 John 4:8(NLT) tells us “But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” This verse lets us know definitively that love is a choice. We choose who we want to love and how we want to show it. To love God’s way is, and will always be, the key to success in all relationships.

    The world has a completely different formula and approach; it’s take what you can when you can, and if its anything left-over, take that too. As Christians, this sometimes unconsciously filters into our mindset and affects our relationships. Those that have been single for a long season have a pretty good idea of their likes and dislikes. Through both bad and good experiences, they’ve learned what irritates them, and what makes them feel valued and appreciated. It is good to know what we want, but we can make the mistake of holding so tightly to these things that they get rooted in our hearts.

    1 John 4:13-16 The Message (MSG) says, “13-16 This is how we know we’re living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He’s given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we’ve seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God’s Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we’ve embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.”

    Jesus Christ made it crystal clear in Luke 16:13 that we don’t have the capacity to serve two masters at the same time. James 1:8 tells us that a double-minded person is unstable in all his or her ways. We have the responsibility and privilege to make choices, and staying in the middle is not an option. God is a jealous God. He alone must be worshipped and adored. His love must take centerstage in our hearts and minds, because fear and love cannot occupy the same space. We determine which one rules based on our free-will choice.

    1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT) tells us, “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.” The love that this verse is pointing to is the all-encompassing, overwhelming, unconditional, unselfish love of God. Our relationship with God must come first, and we must participate in this relationship with Him by embracing His brand of love through the life, ministry, and example of Jesus Christ. This is what attracts blessings like a magnet.

    We live in a world that is riddled with fear, lust, envy, jealousy and pain, all symptoms of the cursed dominion of the devil. It’s in plain sight and gives us an ever-present reminder of what life without God and His love looks like. We have to be ever so careful about the things that we allow to dominate our hearts. God’s love is a huge reality. His love is so awesome that we don’t need to give anything else room. It’s so large that it will consume every crack and crevice of our existence if we allow it. As we make the choice to understand and express it in the way that He desires us to, 2 Thessalonians 3:5 tells us that God will take the wheel and lead us into this kind of contagious, ever-abiding love. ■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “God’s Contagious, Ever-Abiding Love”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • Everyone Had Just Enough‌

    Everyone Had Just Enough‌

    When the Children of Israel were in the wilderness, God fed them manna from heaven. It nourished them to such an extent that none fell to sickness or disease during the entire season of which they ate it. Exodus 16:16-18 says, “16 These are the LORD’s instructions: Each household should gather as much as it needs. Pick up two quarts for each person in your tent.” 17 So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. 18 But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.”

    God has given us His Word so that we will know the truth, live by it, and walk in it. His truth is unfailing, and there are patterns that He has set forth in His Word for our living and learning. These patterns do not ever change. Numbers 23:19(NLT) tells us, “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind.” When He does something that is revealed in His Word, He allows us a window into how He moves. In Exodus 16:16-18, we see the mind and heart of God at work. Manna fell from Heaven, and this demonstrates God’s exceedingly abundant provision; however, you and I must take note that neither greed or lack was tolerated. Everyone had just enough.

    As women, many of us have an innate yearning from youth to be partnered up. We desire a good man that will sweep us off our feet. I believe that God has woven this desire within our make-up as part of His divine plan that we be fruitful and multiply. It’s a beautiful thing, just as He intended it to be. Spiritual maturity demands that with the promise of provision of a good and Godly spouse, we also examine the discipline that God set forth in Exodus 16:16-18. Sometimes our expectations are out of balance. We want a husband to possess attributes and qualities that over exceed what is needed to keep us grounded in God’s plan.

    The Reset of Expectations
    This doesn’t mean that we aim low. Jesus Christ tells us in Mark 11:24(NLT), “I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.” We absolutely should desire to meet a man that will be committed to us, and love us with the heart of Christ.  But when you pray, you cannot have thoughts that all men are the same, or that you’ll never meet a good man because all the good men are taken. These thoughts do not speak the truth about God’s provision, and therefore, cannot support your faith.

    When we go to Heavenly Father with low expectations, our unbelief is revealed, and this is not helpful to the cause. We can’t have an attitude of ‘maybe God will answer my prayer’, because this is contrary to the truth that Jesus spoke in Mark 11:24. We have to know beyond knowing that God desires to bless us because He wants to see us happy and fulfilled, more than we want it for ourselves.

    Equaling Out the Scale
    While it is a blessing and a treasure to become someone’s wife, we must understand the other side of the equation, which is the capacity to satisfy the responsibility of caring for another person’s heart and well-being. The degree of your expectation must equal your preparedness and commitment to walk by the example of Christ, to love and serve out of a heart filled with his love.

    Galatians 6:7(NLT) tells us, “Don’t be misled:  No one makes a fool of God.  What a person plants, he will harvest.” This verse reminds us to be cognizant of the balance upon which God has established His laws. He is a God of order, and order demands that we walk in alignment and harmony with His Word. He instructs us to pray with faith, and to have our expectations appropriately aligned. If we’re not quite there yet, we need to pray to God for guidance and direction through the Spirit of Christ, so that we can experience the fulfillment of our desires. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

    “Everyone Had Just Enough”, written by FACM for FindChristianMan.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

  • Are You Ready to Hit the Reset Button?

    Are You Ready to Hit the Reset Button?

    The countdown is over and the New Year is here!  Some of us are seriously excited, and others of us…not so much. That’s not exactly the mindset God wants us to have. If you give it some thought, you’ll see that Heavenly Father has woven a few reset buttons within our existence, and a lot of us don’t use them to their fullest advantage. We set certain limitations in our minds and hearts. Most of us are okay with a little bit of change, but seldom do we allow ourselves the luxury of imagining a total transformation not only for ourselves, but for others as well.

    In Isaiah 43:13-15 The Message (MSG), Heavenly Father said, “13 Yes, I am God. I’ve always been God and I always will be God. No one can take anything from me. I make; who can unmake it?” 14-15 God, your Redeemer, The Holy of Israel, says: “Just for you, I will march on Babylon.  I’ll turn the tables on the Babylonians. Instead of whooping it up, they’ll be wailing. I am God, your Holy One, Creator of Israel, your King.” In this passage, God is telling and showing them (and us) who’s BOSS! He’s our Keeper, Protector, Shield, Provider, Maker, and King! He’s our everything, and there isn’t anything that He can’t do. He’s willing and able to help us fight any battle and win. Our privilege and responsibility is to trust Him, and remove the shackles of limitations from our minds and hearts.

    Lamentations 3:22-23(NLT) tells us, “22 The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” We are never too old to begin again, and God’s mercy allows us a continual fresh start. Every 24 hours God gives us a new day, and He’s been blessing us this way for longer than you and I can know. In like manner, every 365 days, He gives us a new year. Major reset there. We get to end each year by celebrating the birth of our blessed Lord and Savior. And we can also reflect, reevaluate, and unload some stuff that didn’t serve us well during the previous year.

    One of the major setbacks overshadowing the reset we all desperately need is forgetting to be thankful and remembering what the holiday season is all about. It’s meant to get us to take a breath so that we can refresh and get our minds anchored in the goodness of God. Instead, many of us have allowed the world to burden us with its agenda, and the season becomes riddled with anxiety and pressure. We lose the chance to reset according to the seasons and timelines that God has allowed.

    The start of the New Year is most definitely God’s wake up call to believers to leave the old behind and embark on a new chapter in life.  Most people get this, and that’s why just about everyone has a New Year’s resolution that they try their best to stick to every year. Some are successful, but a lot of us kick that resolution to the curb when we find it isn’t as easy as we thought it might be.

    We start off trying to take big bites, when a lot of the times we’re meant to just nibble our way through. But big chucks or small bites, in the end the whole point is that positive change is good! People are transforming themselves all the time, and Christians should have a mindset that believes transformation is possible for anyone who loves and knows Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

    God has given us our marching orders in Romans 12:2. He tells us to renew our minds to the truth of His Word, so that we will be transformed through and through. If we look only at our stick-to-it-ness, and don’t factor in God’s overwhelming love, willingness, and ability to help us make changes, we might give up. We won’t believe in our own ability to change for the better, and therefore, we will also be skeptical of others; but when we trust in God’s power, we will prove what His good, acceptable, and perfect Will for us is.

    Hitting the reset button in our minds and hearts gives us an opportunity to be renewed in faith, and to believe in our ability to go higher in Christ. That’s what is most important, because when we believe the best in ourselves, it will spill over into believing the best in others as well. It’s not so much about how we look or the relationships we forge; it’s about understanding that change begins in our hearts first. There must be a spiritual transformation in us, and it can only happen if we’re making time to grow and know God better.

    Isaiah 43:16-21(MSG) tells us, “This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—they lie down and then can’t get up; they’re snuffed out like so many candles: “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?” How awesome is this?!!! Change is good! It’s a necessity in order to grow in any area of your life. Through the Lord Jesus Christ, God has given us a chance to keep getting better and better. In 2018, let’s be committed to hit the reset button by making positive changes. We can start with small bites like changes in our attitudes and thoughts. As we make progress on the small things, God will continue to help us with the big things. If we’re alert and present, we won’t miss it when He pulls out all the stops and makes 2018 a monumental year of growth and blessings. ■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

  • ‘RING’ In the New Year?

    ‘RING’ In the New Year?

    Some of the urban vernacular we hear these days is so cryptic that it could literally become a second language. Words like ‘ratchet’, ‘shade’, ‘filthy’, ‘lit’, and ‘baddie’ meant something completely different just a short time ago, but today they’ve taken on a whole new meaning. I have a feeling that ten years from now, they’ll mean something else, but there’s one term that goes way back and the meaning never changes, and it’s “ride-or-die.” It defines a sista that I happen to know personally to the tee. There are no other words in the English vocabulary that would do justice to her level of allegiance when it comes to her relationship. She’s more than hung in there for ol’ dude, and she just knew this Christmas would be the payoff she’s been waiting for.

    Mia’s boyfriend came back from a long deployment in Afghanistan. They’ve been doing this dance for almost four years now, and I’ve never known a person more loyal than she is. No shade to Robert. He’s dutiful and attentive, seems to appreciate her commitment, and showers her with gifts every time he comes home. She had an inclination that he might propose during the holidays, and a few days ago, when he brought her a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box, she just knew an engagement ring was inside of it. It was empty, and she thought to herself, “Huh, another year and no ring.”

    Can you imagine the disappointment? They’re the quintessential military couple. Everyone who knows them prays and roots for them to make it, but there’s a problem, and neither of them seem to be willing to face it head on. I remember a time when Mia said openly that she would never date a man over two years without a marriage commitment, yet here she is. Robert is a good man, no doubt, but the question Mia might be forced to ask herself is whether he’s the man for her.

    As she recounted what happened on Christmas to her friends, she did so with a lightness and a chuckle, but the disappointment was in her eyes. It seems a very likely scenario that she will continue this posture of wait and see. Her loyalty is a given, but it has always been matched by an unabashed disposition to speak her mind and a notorious intolerance for non-sense.  It’s an enigma to us that an ultimatum of some kind has never been a topic of discussion.

    Mia has taken ‘ride or die’ to the limit. Continuing this track she’s chosen; will she get a ring in the new year? None of us know, but of course God does, and the best thing that she can do for her world is to ask Him. In Matthew 7:7 (NIV), Jesus Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  The only prerequisite to knowing the truth is to ask, seek, and knock. The only requirement for receiving the truth is an earnest intention to accept it once it is presented. Sometimes, we only want the truth when it is convenient to what we currently believe. When it is inconvenient, it will most certainly lead us to change and do something different. It might make us step outside our comfort zones and face a fear that we’ve harbored.

    Philippians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We can come to God and present anything on our hearts before Him. We need to trust that God desires marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. Sometimes we choose a person that seems right, but isn’t right for us. Or it could be that they are only meant to be in our lives for a season. The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NIV), “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Whatever the reason for our expectations not being met, we need not have fear, but trust in the power of God to set our feet on the right course.

    1 John 4:18a (NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Robert may not be the one to put a ring on Mia’s finger. That may be difficult for her to come to terms with, but to move forward she must. Robert knows what caliber of woman she is. Mia’s proven herself to be loving, committed, respectful, and tremendously resourceful. What deserving man wouldn’t be choppin’ at the bits to call someone like her ‘wifey’?  I’m sure that when the dust settles and the swelling goes down, she may be able to reach this conclusion herself. If she does, it’s a sure sign that she’s ready to release the fear and reach out to grab the love of the man God has in store for her.■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

    “’RING’ In the New Year”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Shine Bright This Holiday Season!

    Shine Bright This Holiday Season!

    Matthew 5:14 (NLT)
    “You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.  No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket.  Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.”

    Yep! We’ve officially commercialized the holidays to the nth degree. We’ve managed to turn them from celebrations of thankfulness for the goodness of God and the birth of our Lord and Savior, to being much about the hustle and bustle of shopping. But even though there’s not much time during the holidays for quiet reflection, peace, and rest; no one can argue that it’s still a very special season. For many of us it’s an opportunity to spend time with family and friends, make new memories, and to share with others.

    Matthew 5:14 reminds us that we are children of light, because the light of Christ shines within us. This time of the year is special because it gives us an opportunity to really pour it on in terms of generosity and thoughtfulness. It doesn’t take a whole lot of money to demonstrate the love of God, but it does require a willingness to bring His love out in the open through kindness and compassion, so it gives light to those who desperately need to see it.

    I know that I’m not the only one that has heard an unmarried person complain about spending the holidays without a significant someone in their lives. The advice of Jesus Christ for us is to get off the hamster wheel of same ol’ and do things a little different. For those desiring marriage, being single is a temporary status; enjoy it! Don’t let this season of giving and merriment be overshadowed by prevailing doubt. Occupy your mind with the spirit of thankfulness and gratitude.

    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 25:29(NLT), “To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.” God does not hide the truth that He’s all about expansion and increase. His Word never returns to Him void, and His love is eternal; it just keeps giving and giving. He created us to be givers like Him, and to refuse to increase our giving and sharing as we grow in Christ is to live in reverse. It’s sad to state, but many of us are in this boat.

    When we’re looking to increase by uniting ourselves with another person for life, we can’t afford to lean too much on the ‘all about me’ side. That’s always going to be a problem.

    A heart and spirit of thankfulness for what we have and for what we’ve been given will open the door for more of God’s goodness. Abundance and increase should be every Christians reality. And if it’s not, let’s make a greater commitment to do more for the Kingdom of God and be the bright lights He’s called us to be. Get back to God’s way of doing things. Let the Holy Spirit guide you into greater ways to give and be a blessing this Christmas holiday, and also in the New Year! ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Shine Bright This Holiday Season!”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

  • How Can One Be Warm Alone?

    How Can One Be Warm Alone?

    One day, my youngest daughter asked me a question that, when answered, began a myriad of other questions; not just in her mind, but mine as well. Children are so inquisitive. They are curious in a way that sometimes forces adults to think deeply about things they haven’t given much thought. “Mommy, where do babies come from?” my daughter asked. Without even thinking, I answered, “they come from mommy’s bellies.” She followed up with, “But how do they get in there?” I replied, “They come from mommy and daddy.” With her sweet voice soaked in puzzlement, she said to me, “But my friend Aisha doesn’t have a daddy.”

    The initial question from my five-year old no doubt has been asked of many mothers, fathers, and teachers. Whether it is because of divorce, a broken relationship or one parent deciding not to stick around, the number of single-parent households has been on the rise since the 50s. In today’s society, there’s a large number of single parents (single mothers in particular) that are answering the call alone of being provider, nurturer, and protector to their children. It’s not an easy gig, and we spend a lot of time thinking and talking about the complexities of doing it all while being single. The risk in this is that we don’t always focus on some of the challenges our children face in a single-parent home.

    One of the most common challenges stems from the hustle that a single parent must keep up in order to provide for the family. Even though the children are the highest on the parent’s list of priorities, sometimes it doesn’t feel this way to them because the parent doesn’t have the luxury of time to spare. This can add an extra layer of guilt for any single parent, but as Christians, we have God’s grace, and it literally obliterates guilt. For people that haven’t developed a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, wearing all the hats as a single parent can be overwhelming, to the point of major melt-downs for the family. This has the potential to lead to long lasting problems down the road. But when you understand and trust that God is the glue that holds all the pieces together, you begin to trust not only in your destiny as a parent, but in the destiny of your child as well.

    The indwelling Holy Spirit is more than an equalizer. He takes what the enemy means for bad and turns it around for our good. He will most certainly do this for our children. As we cover them in prayer, Heavenly Father gives us the time, energy, and opportunity to minister where our children need the most attention. We are not perfect parents, but if we will allow Christ to be in the driver’s seat, he will help us beyond our expectations in the area of parenting. It is by far a spiritual relationship of trust that we must have with him, and we must allow him room to work through us as we impact the lives of our children.

    Another crucial component that we must grasp very tightly and emphatically is that our children must see us as transformational rather than always being transactional. They see the grind, and put two and two together that we are hustling to put food on the table and clothes on their backs, but what about the transformational part? Are we truly being the conduits to connect our children to the God of the bible—their Creator who loves them to pieces?

    I remember a time when I would ask one too many questions and would be scolded for it. Many adults have had the ‘why’ canceled out of them this way, and it is one of the reasons that we aren’t as curious as we should be regarding the things of the Kingdom. This cancelling-curiosity bug is not something we should pass on, but on the contrary, we should seek to nip it in the bud and make sure our children realize that God’s way is the way of faith, and it is extraordinary.

    Heavenly Father calls upon us to be transformed by renewing our minds to His Word. This means that we are to create an atmosphere of faith that is heavy with expectancy. Children shouldn’t be made to wear a mindset of doubt that they’ve inherited from a single parent’s resentment or unbelief. They can feel a sense of hopelessness in their home environment when the parent wants to have help, wants to partner in marriage, but doesn’t have the faith that it’ll happen. Children are very perceptive, and again, a mindset of doubt shouldn’t be something we want to pass on to them. They should be given a healthy diet of hopefulness, and we’re the ones to feed it to them.

    Families is what makes us stronger, and it is also what makes our children stronger; whether it is a one parent family or two. However, we cannot deny the advantages of being joined together with a loving partner. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12(NLT) tells us, “9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”  Spouses make up the dynamic team that God ordained. It’s a great dream to have, and if it’s your dream as a single parent, keep it fueled with faith. It will help to create an atmosphere of hope in your home, where you and your kids are continually inspired by what the power of God will produce.

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

    “How Can One Be Warm Alone?” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

     

     

     

  • Get Back Up and Get It All Back!

    Get Back Up and Get It All Back!

    Joel 2:25 (NLT), “The LORD says, “I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts, and the cutting locusts.””

    Have you been robbed or lost something that you’ve been praying for God to restore? For many single women and mothers, the answer may be, “Yes– A LOT!” If you’ve been married, and found yourself in a situation where your husband no longer loves you, and has decided to leave you for another woman, you probably feel robbed. If you’ve been single for many years and have never even come close to marriage, you may feel that life has robbed you as well. The list can be endless…however, we serve a loving Heavenly Father, and He has heard our every plea for help.

    Joel 2:25 gives us assurance that whatever we’ve lost or has been stolen, God will give it back to us. Only He can get us back on track when we’ve gotten on the wrong path. Only He can make sure the time we’ve lost doesn’t continue to hold us back, and only God can restore us to a point where we are better than we were before. He sees the many tears we’ve shed, but wants us to be assured that weeping endures only for a night, but joy is coming in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

    We’ve seen the struggle of many of our sisters, and the struggle is real. Singles have become weary with waiting on God to bless them with a man that has the capacity and desire to love them right. Some married women are heartsick and tired of dealing with a husband that just won’t be faithful. Some mothers don’t know what to do anymore about a child that doesn’t listen or make the right choices, no matter how much they’ve talked to and counseled them. These are issues that weight us down, and can potentially deplete us in every way, but there’s one thing that we must never do, and it is to allow the weariness from the problem to outweigh our faith in God to solve them.

    Now we have to keep it real, some of us have gotten robbed because we left the keys to our hearts in the hands of the wrong person. We placed all our eggs in the basket of someone that couldn’t even handle his own. All of us make the mistake of trusting in situations and people more than we trust the Word of God. We trust our way of doing things more than we trust His way, and this will never yield optimum results. But no matter how we look at it, the bottom line is that we get robbed because the enemy is a thief and robbing is what he does. The devil looks for an opening in our lives so that he can keep us from being who God says we can be, doing what God says we can do, and having what God says we can have.

    All of us have situations that bring us to our knees, but the Christian should use that time to pray and humble themselves before God through the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, we will face situations that trip us up and cause us to fall, but you best believe that through Christ we can get back up. Proverbs 24:15-16 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Don’t interfere with good people’s lives; don’t try to get the best of them. No matter how many times you trip them up, God-loyal people don’t stay down long; Soon they’re up on their feet, while the wicked end up flat on their faces.”

    We might get weary, but let’s not faint. We may get robbed of the things that are very precious to us, but let’s renew our conviction to stand in faith, trusting that God will get it all back for us. We may get knocked down, but let’s be determined to get back up stronger and better than ever. Isaiah 40:31(NLT) encourages us to be continually resilient. It tells us, “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” This is God’s promise, and because He said it, we can count on it with every fiber of our beings.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    “Get Back Up and Get It All Back”, written for findingChristianman.com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

  • Stand in the Uniqueness of YOU!

    Stand in the Uniqueness of YOU!

    Have your insecurities sabotaged past relationships? Are you beating yourself up constantly for your shortcomings and shortfalls? Are you confident that you won’t bring self-condemnation and self-doubt into a new relationship? These questions are important to ask ourselves because the answers will help us to deal with stuff in our hearts. Some of us are still struggling with issues that we had before we even began to pray about marriage or crossing paths with the man that is to be our husbands. These things are heart issues that we need to confront, because  Jeremiah 17:10 tells us, “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” God looks at our hearts, and He rewards us based on what’s going on in them.

    We know that God doesn’t like arrogance, and that a prideful attitude greatly displeases Him. He loves humility, and Jesus Christ tells us in Matthew 18:4 that the way to be great in God’s eyes is to humble ourselves like little children. In our effort to avoid a prideful heart, some of us go to the extreme opposite. We allow ourselves to be punching bags because we don’t value ourselves the way God intends us to.

    Heavenly Father knows that we’re going to make mistakes and missteps. He knows our proclivity to injure ourselves and sometimes injure others in the process. We all have our issues, there can be no doubt about this, but we must remember what the scripture tells us. Romans 5:8(NLT) says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Jesus Christ came on the scene when humanity was at its worse, and he did so because of God’s overwhelming love for us all. So, God’s love isn’t dependent on our performance, because as soon as we get one issue resolved, another one will surely pop-up. The quest to hold up the standard of Christ is never-ending in this earth experience, but we have the wonderful pleasure of waking up each day aspiring to meet it. This is what God’s love is all about. It is understanding our potential and capacity through His love, and having the commitment to aspire to be better today than we were yesterday.

    We are works in progress. As we seek God and open our hearts to Him in prayer and through His Word, Philippians 2:13 affirms that He will work in us and give us the desire and power to do the things that please Him. It’s God through Christ doing the work, not us. Our responsibility is to let Him be at work by asking Him to show us what needs to be addressed. Then we need to trust Him, as we are led and guided through the indwelling Holy Spirit to overcome and move forward.

    God also has a special work for us to do. We have a calling to fulfill, because we are a destiny people. This means that we have neither the luxury or time to look at what others or doing and what is happening in their lives, but often this is what we spend our time doing. On our jobs, we’re envious of those getting promotions. We’re trying to rush God to bring that man across our paths so we can be engaged because all our other friends are married or engaged. We’re too occupied with trying to be like everyone else, when God has called us to be unique.

    We may not be a social butterfly. People in a room may not light up when we enter it. Some of us have a quiet spirit, and we’re compassionate and tender in a way that is very special to God, but may not be to others. Our responsibility is to stand in the uniqueness of what we are, and what we’ve been given; because God has a purpose for it. No one can do YOU the way that you can.

    Ecclesiastes 6: 10 (NLT) says, “Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there’s no use arguing with God about your destiny.” Your destiny is revealed moment by moment as you embrace the reality that you are wonderfully and masterfully made. You’re God’s masterpiece. There will never be another you!

    We must remember at all times that the love of God is the benchmark for our every endeavor, especially when it comes to marriage. This isn’t just the love of which we invest in others. It includes the love we have for ourselves. Self-love is the appreciation we cultivate for our own uniqueness as it is used in service to others through God’s love. It is an understanding that we are ever growing and developing into the very best version of ourselves. We may not be there yet, but if we continue to trust God, we’ll get there. Our confidence in this very truth causes us to stand in the reality of our Christ-identity, and this is the person our future spouses deserve to meet. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    FindingChristianman.com copyright © 2017. All rights reserved. All done for the glory of God in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord!