Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Some of the urban vernacular we hear these days is so cryptic that it could literally become a second language. Words like ‘ratchet’, ‘shade’, ‘filthy’, ‘lit’, and ‘baddie’ meant something completely different just a short time ago, but today they’ve taken on a whole new meaning. I have a feeling that ten years from now, they’ll mean something else, but there’s one term that goes way back and the meaning never changes, and it’s “ride-or-die.” It defines a sista that I happen to know personally to the tee. There are no other words in the English vocabulary that would do justice to her level of allegiance when it comes to her relationship. She’s more than hung in there for ol’ dude, and she just knew this Christmas would be the payoff she’s been waiting for.

Mia’s boyfriend came back from a long deployment in Afghanistan. They’ve been doing this dance for almost four years now, and I’ve never known a person more loyal than she is. No shade to Robert. He’s dutiful and attentive, seems to appreciate her commitment, and showers her with gifts every time he comes home. She had an inclination that he might propose during the holidays, and a few days ago, when he brought her a beautiful hand-carved jewelry box, she just knew an engagement ring was inside of it. It was empty, and she thought to herself, “Huh, another year and no ring.”

Can you imagine the disappointment? They’re the quintessential military couple. Everyone who knows them prays and roots for them to make it, but there’s a problem, and neither of them seem to be willing to face it head on. I remember a time when Mia said openly that she would never date a man over two years without a marriage commitment, yet here she is. Robert is a good man, no doubt, but the question Mia might be forced to ask herself is whether he’s the man for her.

As she recounted what happened on Christmas to her friends, she did so with a lightness and a chuckle, but the disappointment was in her eyes. It seems a very likely scenario that she will continue this posture of wait and see. Her loyalty is a given, but it has always been matched by an unabashed disposition to speak her mind and a notorious intolerance for non-sense.  It’s an enigma to us that an ultimatum of some kind has never been a topic of discussion.

Mia has taken ‘ride or die’ to the limit. Continuing this track she’s chosen; will she get a ring in the new year? None of us know, but of course God does, and the best thing that she can do for her world is to ask Him. In Matthew 7:7 (NIV), Jesus Christ said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”  The only prerequisite to knowing the truth is to ask, seek, and knock. The only requirement for receiving the truth is an earnest intention to accept it once it is presented. Sometimes, we only want the truth when it is convenient to what we currently believe. When it is inconvenient, it will most certainly lead us to change and do something different. It might make us step outside our comfort zones and face a fear that we’ve harbored.

Philippians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We can come to God and present anything on our hearts before Him. We need to trust that God desires marriage for us more than we desire it for ourselves. Sometimes we choose a person that seems right, but isn’t right for us. Or it could be that they are only meant to be in our lives for a season. The psalmist said in Psalm 34:4 (NIV), “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Whatever the reason for our expectations not being met, we need not have fear, but trust in the power of God to set our feet on the right course.

1 John 4:18a (NIV) tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Robert may not be the one to put a ring on Mia’s finger. That may be difficult for her to come to terms with, but to move forward she must. Robert knows what caliber of woman she is. Mia’s proven herself to be loving, committed, respectful, and tremendously resourceful. What deserving man wouldn’t be choppin’ at the bits to call someone like her ‘wifey’?  I’m sure that when the dust settles and the swelling goes down, she may be able to reach this conclusion herself. If she does, it’s a sure sign that she’s ready to release the fear and reach out to grab the love of the man God has in store for her.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

“’RING’ In the New Year”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Matthew 5:14 (NLT)
“You are the light of the world – like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.  No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket.  Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house.”

Yep! We’ve officially commercialized the holidays to the nth degree. We’ve managed to turn them from celebrations of thankfulness for the goodness of God and the birth of our Lord and Savior, to being much about the hustle and bustle of shopping. But even though there’s not much time during the holidays for quiet reflection, peace, and rest; no one can argue that it’s still a very special season. For many of us it’s an opportunity to spend time with family and friends, make new memories, and to share with others.

Matthew 5:14 reminds us that we are children of light, because the light of Christ shines within us. This time of the year is special because it gives us an opportunity to really pour it on in terms of generosity and thoughtfulness. It doesn’t take a whole lot of money to demonstrate the love of God, but it does require a willingness to bring His love out in the open through kindness and compassion, so it gives light to those who desperately need to see it.

I know that I’m not the only one that has heard an unmarried person complain about spending the holidays without a significant someone in their lives. The advice of Jesus Christ for us is to get off the hamster wheel of same ol’ and do things a little different. For those desiring marriage, being single is a temporary status; enjoy it! Don’t let this season of giving and merriment be overshadowed by prevailing doubt. Occupy your mind with the spirit of thankfulness and gratitude.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 25:29(NLT), “To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.” God does not hide the truth that He’s all about expansion and increase. His Word never returns to Him void, and His love is eternal; it just keeps giving and giving. He created us to be givers like Him, and to refuse to increase our giving and sharing as we grow in Christ is to live in reverse. It’s sad to state, but many of us are in this boat.

When we’re looking to increase by uniting ourselves with another person for life, we can’t afford to lean too much on the ‘all about me’ side. That’s always going to be a problem.

A heart and spirit of thankfulness for what we have and for what we’ve been given will open the door for more of God’s goodness. Abundance and increase should be every Christians reality. And if it’s not, let’s make a greater commitment to do more for the Kingdom of God and be the bright lights He’s called us to be. Get back to God’s way of doing things. Let the Holy Spirit guide you into greater ways to give and be a blessing this Christmas holiday, and also in the New Year! ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Shine Bright This Holiday Season!”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

Like many of you, I had the privilege of being reared around strong Christian women. They demonstrated on a daily basis a relentless faith in God through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. They didn’t have it easy and dealt with some heavy-duty challenges. Many of them raised their children alone, at a time when child support was unheard of. I remember times when their estranged husbands would drop by every now and again. They’d make a small contribution that wouldn’t even be considered a tip for the struggles these women endured. But they were not deterred or discouraged, at least not that I could see. They kept it moving, and created for all of us a safe and loving haven. They couldn’t have done this had they not known that God’s love is real, and we can depend on it come what may.

In 2Corinthians 5:7, God tells us to walk by faith and not by sight. He doesn’t expect us to walk around with our physical eyes covered, but He’s letting us know that living based only on our five-sense knowledge will not take us where faith can. When it comes to dealing with adversity, sometimes we interpret having strength as maintaining a certain amount of control over things. We think we have to know all the facts or know what’s going to happen before we can trust. Well, God tells us to trust first! He wants us to depend on Him to lead, guide, and direct our steps. Not only must we have faith in His divine direction, but we must have faith that we will hear when He speaks.

Ephesians 3:20(NLT) tells us, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” How many times have people told us that we couldn’t do this, or couldn’t accomplish that? How often have people tried to put us down, or to influence us to quit pushing when the odds were stacked against us? We serve a God who has no barriers! His power is limitless! Our Heavenly Father is in the business of blessing His people beyond anything we could ever ask or think. He far exceeds our expectations, but you and I are not left out of the equation when it comes to this verse. God tells us that His mighty power is working on the inside of us. He wants us to know that some important spiritual work is happening deep in our souls. Even though we may not sense it, we are commanded to trust it. Our responsibility is to bring what He’s placed on the inside of us out in the open, by trusting His love and walking in it.

Hebrews 2:1 (NLT) tells us, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.” When we have difficulties in life, we are sometimes tempted to tighten our rein on a situation and try to steer it our way. This is one of those old patterns that we had when we walked by sight. Again, God’s standard is that we walk by faith; there is no greater way to live. Is it always easy? No. It requires dedication, discipline, and a made-up mind. We have tremendous examples in God’s Word, and in our own lives, of people that have demonstrated that God’s way is always best.

We serve such a loving Father. He grants us grace and mercy, and He forgives us for our sins, stubbornness, and unwillingness to abandon our worries and trust faithfully in Him. Many single parents face tremendous challenges, and it can seem at times that they come from every direction. You can feel like all hope is lost when you have mouths to feed and not enough finances to take care of your obligations. The enemy wants to use these trials to zap your strength and convince you that God’s not going to handle the situation, but this is not the truth. God is working in you! To see His power flourish in us, we need to turn our thoughts and feelings to what Christ is doing, not what the devil is doing.

Hebrews 11:27(NLT) tells us,“It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible.” This is precisely what you and I must do! We can never make the mistake of drifting away from God’s truth, not when the struggle is heavy, and not for the sake of a man’s companionship. Our responsibility is to saturate our minds and hearts with God’s love, to let it be activated in us, and to let it flow through everything we impact and touch.

Psalm 95:7(NLT) assures us, “for he is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. If only you would listen to his voice today!” Don’t just seek God when your life starts to unravel, or when tragedy knocks at your door. He is our Protector, our Refuge…our Everything! This is the way we must see Him all the time. He tells us to listen to His voice, and we should never take our eyes off of Him, because we can be assured that He never takes His eyes off of us. He watches over us, and He will reward us when we place our trust in Him. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“His Eyes Are Always On Us”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

James 2:21-24 (NLT)
“Don’t you remember that our ancestor Abraham was shown to be right with God by his actions when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. 23 And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.”[g] He was even called the friend of God.[h] 24 So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.”

Regardless of what your past may look like or what your current set of circumstances may be, nothing can compare to the love of God being activated by right actions and faith in Him. It’s like what happens when we put the key in the ignition and turn it; the motor begins to run and we start moving in the right direction. Trust and believe, it will never be enough for us to go to church on Sunday, pray, and then go back home inactivated. We should be learning to activate our faith through doing what God requires of us. This is such an important step to tapping into the flow of His blessings. Many of us are becoming disillusioned and disappointed, and it is because we are looking to others to do what God has assigned as our responsibility. It’s unpopular to say, but we are not hitting our stride by coupling our doing with our faith. This is one of the reasons why we’re not seeing things move in the direction we want.

Any time that we go near subjects like this, sisters will tell us, “God accepts me just the way I am. I’m not perfect. He made me, and He looks beyond my faults.” His grace is amazing and all of us know it, but at what point do we look honestly at our lives and figure out that things have stalled. Heavenly Father is our sufficiency. He provides for us, but obedience is non-negotiable. So, when it comes to monuments of unity and love like marriage and family, God is beyond on point. No, He doesn’t expect us to walk around like zombies with the bible in our hands 24/7, but He created us with a purpose in mind. He expects us to be an on-purpose, proactive, vigilant people with a loving attitude when it comes to honoring Him and His Word. We expect this from all our relationships, so if we expect it, we’ve got to present it to our Creator first and foremost.

There is no way we can lose out if we put all our trust in God. In Psalm 91:1, David invites us to sit down in the presence of the Almighty God. Just the thought of this really knocks your socks off. To think that we can come before the throne of the Most High God and stand in His presence is almost too much to take, but because of Christ we have this great privilege and honor. David said that when we sit at His throne and hang out there in our minds and hearts, we’ll be enveloped by His shadow; and in His shadow, blessings fall like apples from a tree. There are more blessings than we would know what to do with. You want to make the most out of your life, this is how you do it. You stay at the throne.

In Psalm 91:2, David encourages us to declare “God, you’re my refuge. I trust in you and I’m safe!” Trusting Heavenly Father is everything, and we can’t say that we do, and then flake out on His Word. He wants a very intimate relationship with us, and tells us that the way to build this intimacy is to simply trust Him and what He says. Abraham was called a friend of God because of the honor he had for God’s Word. He received divine instructions, and followed them. What about you? Are you listening to God’s instruction? Are you following where He leads? Are you doing the things in your life that will crystalize your efforts and turn them into magnets for the blessings you seek?

This is not the kind of encouragement that is for those who are satisfied with things as they are. This is for the sister that knows there is so much more available to her and she won’t stop until the manifestation of her efforts are realized. Just remember that your faith must be mixed with the love of God, and love is the greatest action word in the human vocabulary. Love is not stagnant. It is active, and when you are activated in God’s love, things cannot help but change.■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

“Not by Faith Alone”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

The “Wandering” Syndrome

The Word of God teaches us how to live in a way that keeps God’s blessings flowing in our direction, but sometimes, we do things that hinder the flow. This is a critical truth that can be very helpful for single women. We hear from many of you. You tell us how exhausting it is to keep pressing, and how disappointed you’ve been with the men you’ve dated. Many of you talk of giving up the quest. You say that you don’t know what you’re doing wrong, and you can’t figure out why the Lord hasn’t blessed you. It’s too frustrating to keep trying, you say.

We all know the verse in Matthew 6:33 (NKJV), where Jesus Christ tells us, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” God wants to add to you. He wants to increase you, and He wants the truth of this scripture to sink deep within your heart. When it does, a revelation will be deposited in your soul.

This revelation will be so consequential to your journey forward because it holds a key piece of practical knowledge that will aid your faith, and turn your exhaustion into fuel. In Deuteronomy 2:3 (NLT), God told the Israelites, “You have been wandering around in this hill country long enough;” The people of God were wandering about aimlessly, and it is clear that it did not please God. Think about that. Let it marinate a bit.

Heavenly Father is an on-purpose God, and He created us to be an on-purpose people. Wandering without purpose, direction, and conviction should not be a part of our make-up. We should steer clear of this kind of lifestyle because it isn’t pleasing to the Lord.

God reveals much about Himself through His promises. Our response to His promises not only requires our faith, but it requires action. Salvation is a free gift. It is not based on our works, but faith is a response of gratitude to God for all that He’s given us. He expects that it will be backed with the energy of our conviction and a demonstration of our love.

James 2:26 affirms and reminds us that faith without works is dead. We forget sometimes that ‘dead as a doorknob’ is how God views a faith that isn’t backed with good works. The people of Israel in the Old Testament wandered aimlessly in the hill country because they refused to execute God’s provision. He gave them the promise of inhabiting a land of milk and honey, but fear kept them bound.

In Deuteronomy 1:22 (MSG), Moses reminded them of how it all went down. He said “But then you all came to me and said, “Let’s send some men on ahead to scout out the land for us and bring back a report on the best route to take and the kinds of towns we can expect to find.”” This was a stall tactic, and it is what some of us do when our commitment and faith isn’t where it should be.

Moses then said in verses 29-33, “I tried to relieve your fears: “Don’t be terrified of them. God, your God, is leading the way; he’s fighting for you. You saw with your own eyes what he did for you in Egypt; you saw what he did in the wilderness, how God, your God, carried you as a father carries his child, carried you the whole way until you arrived here. But now that you’re here, you won’t trust God, your God—this same God who goes ahead of you in your travels to scout out a place to pitch camp, a fire by night and a cloud by day to show you the way to go.””

To encourage you in your quest to be married is an extreme privilege for us. We keep at it even though sisters don’t always respond the way we hope they will. We’ll never let up as long as the Lord tarries, because we are solidly convinced and fully persuaded that you can be who He says you can be, you can do what He says you can do, and you can have what He says you can have. It’s God great pleasure to see you happily married, and it is absolutely available to you. The truth that many sisters have a hard time facing is that, when it comes to partnering, you are either your best friend or your worse enemy.

The record in Deuteronomy 1 shows us that God’s people lacked the gumption to move with sheer determination and intention to claim the promise. Even after Heavenly Father had done so much for them, their minds and hearts were not elevated to a level of supernatural expectation. We live from the inside out. A lack of faith caused God’s people to have a wandering mind-and-heart-set. Because of it, they were scattered on the inside; therefore, they were scattered on the outside. This is the condition a lack of faith produces.

God’s reaction to their disobedience and lack of trust was equal to their fumbling and inaction. He told them in Deuteronomy 1:36 (MSG), “Not a single person of this evil generation is going to get so much as a look at the good land that I promised to give to your parents. Not one—except for Caleb son of Jephunneh. He’ll see it. I’ll give him and his descendants the land he walked on because he was all for following God, heart and soul.” This is the question that all of us must ask and answer for ourselves. Are we all for following God, heart and soul? Because if we are, we will never give up. We’ll keep pressing ourselves to back our faith with good works, and do so with the confidence that God will fulfill the promise. ■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. 

“The “Wandering” Syndrome”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

“16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives.  Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.  17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants.  And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires.  These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.” Galatians 5:16-17(NLT)

The struggle is real, there’s no doubt about it. It’s a fight to keep our flesh in check and to make sure we’re not valuing what it wants higher than what our soul needs. God doesn’t keep the fight a secret. He makes it very clear in Galatians 5:17 that within our physical bodies, our own sinful nature will fight against the Holy Spirit within, and the Spirit only wants to do good and help us. The sinful nature wants to do those things that are at odds with the things God wants us to do. He is always going to want the best for us. He wants us to live the kind of life that preserves us, and keeps us living optimally.

Essentially, we have two wills working against one another all the time.  So, as God’s children we have an important choice to make on a daily basis; who is going to win, the flesh or the Spirit? This seems like a very simple choice, but it is not. We have an enemy, the devil, who has tactics that can be very subtle and undetectable. We are often tricked by him to give in to what our sinful nature craves. As single Christian women, one of the ways he does this is to get us to begin valuing our desire to partner higher than we do our desire to please God.

This is a highly contestable fight, because on the one hand is our great desire to partner, and on the other hand is the Spirit’s desire to guide us, so that we partner in a way that is pleasing to God and fulfilling to us as well. One of the ways that we can resist the devil and gain momentum towards the manifestation of our desires is to recognize a few things about the way in which the Spirit guides.

John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will guide us into all truth. For you and I, the truth will always lead us back to God in Christ, and the call He has placed on our lives. We will never escape the reality of this, and we shouldn’t want to, because our continued journey towards higher heights and living a great life is contained in the reality of our destiny in Christ. A half-hearted trust in this will not cut it; we must be fully persuaded in the truth that God wants the best for us, and by following His direction, we can have it.

Like many of us, you may not know all the details of your destiny, but you can be assured that the indwelling Holy Spirit knows, and this is why it is so important to let him guide you. He knows who your husband is, and he knows where he is. Most importantly, he knows what you should do in order to prepare to partner with your future husband. He will reveal these things to you, but you have to pay attention. Through your everyday experiences, he will give you promptings and information that is extremely useful towards your quest to be a spouse.

This season that you’re in may feel like a drag-down, knock-out. You might be weary from the wait, and you may be emotionally exhausted from all the stuff you’ve gone through in past relationships. Yes, it’s a constant fight, but it is a fight you can win, and have won through Jesus Christ! God knows your pain, and He wants you to give yourself a fighting chance by leaning totally on the Spirit. You’ve leaned on your flesh. You’ve leaned on your emotions. You’ve leaned on the men you thought were the one. It’s time for a better approach. Let the Spirit guide you, and trust totally in the reality that he knows where you ought to be, and who you ought to be with. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“The Constant Fight”, written by FACM writers for FindChristianMan.Com ©2017.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!