Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

It’s A Done Deal in Heaven

Matthew 16:19(NLT)
“And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.”

In Matthew 6, Jesus Christ gave the disciples a template for prayer. He told them in Matthew 6:10(NIV) to pray to God that “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” This instruction is extremely important to our understanding of God’s desire and plan for the earth. We are to pray that God’s Will is done here the same way it is carried out in heaven. In heaven, everyone has absolute faith in God, and this is the way He wants those of us living in the earth to be as well. He wants us to understand that He has a wonderful plan for our lives, and this plan will come to pass if we continue to trust Him and never lose faith in His Will.

Digesting the truths revealed in this prayer from our Lord and Savior is crucial for the single person that desires to be married. Some of us have sliced marriage out of the reality of God’s Will. We’ve placed in a category that is of lesser importance to Him, and this impedes our ability to back our faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. Faith does not come by hearing the word of anything else. Faith responds to God’s truth, so if we are not rightly believing the truth of God’s Word, we are denying ourselves the privilege of seeing the manifestation of our faith.

Marriage is the first institution God established for the relationship between a man and woman living in the earth. It’s an institution that belongs to God and is therefore used for His purpose. Those who do not believe in God’s truth and honor Him with their lives haven’t understood this. They walk down the aisle and ask for His blessing, but really don’t understand what they’re asking or doing. The level of disrespect for God’s Will for the institution of marriage is pervasive, so much so that is now challenging for those seeking marriage to step into it.

A man recently said to me, “My mother was never married, and I didn’t see many married couples in my neighborhood. Honestly, I grew up thinking you could just have girlfriends for the rest of your life.” This may not be articulated by many men, but the attitude matches the way many of them think about women and about marriage. God’s Will is for marriage to be life-commitment on which the birth and rearing of children that love God would rest. Most of us don’t have a hard time accepting that children are to be loved a lifetime, but modern society is trying to devalue the truth of God’s Will for husbands and wives to love each other by the same terms of depth and longevity.

Jesus Christ taught us in Matthew 16:19 that he’s given us the keys to God’s Kingdom. If we have a mindset and attitude that puts marriage outside the boundaries of a commitment to God to love someone in the same way that Jesus Christ loves us, we will not have the faith to receive it. Believing the wrong information causes us to act on it and acting on it will bind in the earth the very thing we don’t want. Many of us are doing this. We’re keeping marriage out of the picture for our lives because we’re not believing the truth about it. Instead of refusing to be taught about God’s plan for marriage, we need to seek God, stay in His presence, and permit His Will to be done in our lives by remaining committed to it.

Marriage is a done deal in heaven. That’s where it originated from. God knows His plans for it, and He knows how it should fit in your life. Proverbs 19:21(NLT) tells us, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.” He’s not making up things as we go along. The plan for our marriages were made long before we arrived on the scene. God is the One who sees to this and His purpose will override any plans we make. It’s a done deal in heaven, so make God and His Will your primary focus. He’ll take care of rewarding you with marriage when you’re spiritually prepared and have His love firmly anchored in your heart. ■

English Standard Version (ESV)
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“It’s A Done Deal in Heaven”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 30, 2023
Trying to Get the Man to Change

Free-Will is a gift of God that we must become intimately familiar with in our significant relationships. Many women are praying that God will change a man for them, that He will overstep a man’s thought patterns and ways of behaving without the man’s consent. This will never happen. There are pieces of information that we must know so that we remain grounded in wisdom. These will keep our expectations in check when it comes to the significant relationship in our lives. The first is that God will only send you a man that knows Him. This man doesn’t have to be super knowledgeable of the Bible, and he may not be religious, but he knows the reality of God’s sovereignty and righteousness. He desires to do right because he wants to honor God and honor himself. If he doesn’t honor himself, he will not honor you. Secondly, a man must desire to change. He must see the value in it by recognizing the harm that a failure to change will cause. Lastly, a man must love you enough that if something he is doing, thinking, or feeling is causing you distress, he will choose to change.

Romans 12:2(NLT) says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” In this verse, God tells us exactly what we should not do, and exactly what we should do. We should not copy the behaviors and customs of society or the world, because those are contrary to the Word and Will of God. Instead, He directs us to allow Him to transform us, and we give Him permission to do this when we change the way we think.

God is telling us what to do here, but He will not force us to do it. He has given us free-will, and we have the great privilege to follow what He says. We decide whether we will change the way we think and receive the reward of His blessings. The choice to renew our minds to God’s truth is ours to make. Whether we choose to accept it or not, the reality is that: #1 God only sends a woman a man that respects His sovereignty and righteousness, #2 the desire to change according to what is right is a person’s free-will choice, and #3 truly loving someone will motivate a person to change. These are true for all human beings, both men and women. However, as women, we must be especially attentive to remind ourselves of these jewels of wisdom so that we do not punish ourselves continually with wrong actions, bad decisions, and false expectations.

Often, we expect an unattainable outcome in a significant relationship because our expectations are outside the boundaries of right believing. Some of us get into relationships with men that might have peripheral qualities we’re attracted to, but after some time is spent in their company, we find that they are far from being a match for our level of spiritual, emotional, and mental maturity. We may not articulate this, but when we pull back the layers, it’s the reality we must face. Even when there are many good qualities that we appreciate in the man we’re involved with; he can still have non-dominant negative behaviors that sneak out at the most irritating and inappropriate times. These are not insignificant and can ultimately ruin a relationship if we’re not walking in faith.

There’s a place in every woman
Amos 3:3(NKJV) asks, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This agreement between two individuals that intend to commit to one another is one that is more than verbal. As it relates to marriage, it is a spiritual agreement that is made at the deepest level. Some of us are praying for the man we’re involved with to change. If after many arguments and disagreements, he does not seem to alter his behavior, we’re at our wits end. We’re not being heard, valued, and respected in the way we feel we deserve. It makes us feel helpless in the relationship because the agreement that two committed individuals should have with one another is not working both ways.

Within every woman, God has created a place at her very core, and her destiny partner is a man that will respond to that place within her. It’s a deep place that we may not be aware of and we cannot define, but we will know definitively when that place has made contact with the right man. We must trust with every fiber of our being that there is something about the right man’s manhood that will come into agreement with that place in order for us to have confidence in his fidelity, loyalty, and commitment. Many of us try to force this with the wrong man, but that is an unfruitful move on our parts. It will not yield the results we seek, and history has taught us this.

Many of us choose a man, give ourselves to him, and make future plans for marriage with him when his manhood has not connected with the very core of us. Often, this is why we are exasperated, because we are expecting something he cannot give. We lose so much stamina and momentum on this journey of life when we do this.

You must be led by God
We cannot make a man change. No words of a mere human have caused another human being to truly change. Only God and His Word can do this. He has commanded us to seek His Will in all that we do. We need to hear from Heavenly Father that His blessing is upon our relationships. We can never get ahead of God, and if we do this, we must seek the Lord’s forgiveness and ask for His help and wisdom.

It isn’t God’s Will that we are involved in relationships that are rollercoasters of ups and downs. We must be spiritually prepared for significant relationships because the wrong one can mess us up. We must be sharp in recognizing the Spirit’s directives, and we should have proven that we are humbled in total surrender and submission to his direction and guidance. If you have not made a habit pattern of walking by the Spirit, you will not perceive the warnings, information, and guidance necessary to preserve a union.

Know that he’s for you
If you are of the Lord, and the Lord is not in him, do not risk your life. Seek God with your whole heart! The man that is the one God has sent will not think it is a burden to change the things that jeopardize your relationship, because he will have confidence in the love of Christ in you. No longer will you allow yourself to be concerned with attributes and small things that irritated you in the past. This man will humble himself before God, and because of this, he will move you at your core. The Holy Spirit will testify in you that he is indeed the one that God has sent. Then you can have confidence that no matter what comes your way, the two of you will walk together in agreement as the love of God in Christ works within you both.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Trying to Get the Man to Change”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 15, 2023
Don’t Accept Less

Proverbs 15:13(NLT) says, “A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.” It’s a pretty well-known fact that joy, contentment, and happiness can add tremendously to our lives. When we’re happy and content, those in the medical profession tell us that it can even improve our physical health. There’s a glow about us when we feel all is well with our worlds, and this is magnified exponentially when we’ve found that special one. When our significant relationships are going well, and things are progressing in a very pleasing way, we are in our happy zone like never before. We wear a smile as bright as the prettiest ornament on a Christmas tree. But when the ‘boo’ is not as pleasing as he once was, or he’s missing in action, that happy face turns upside down, and we forget about what it is to have a glad heart. We have to know that this isn’t what God wants for us.

When you are dating a man that isn’t yet your husband, and he hasn’t given you an indication that he wants to be, you must be careful about how you invest in this relationship. Contrary to what the world and society want people to think, a boyfriend is just that. He’s a male that is your friend. That “male-friend” status should not give him a suggestion or assumption that he can assume the rights of a husband, but not the responsibility. The only one that can make this distinction clear to him is you.

I attended an event with a friend at her request. The man she’s been dating on-and-off for years changed his mind at the last moment and would not accompany her. Many of us can relate to her disappointment. Often, she has envisioned him publicly demonstrating his commitment to her as they walk together arm in arm, but continually she is disappointed. Does he have someone else? This is the question so many of us deny and excuse away. We refuse to accept that we’re being deceived and perhaps used, and we continue to accept the man’s behavior.

As women, we know what it feels like to be truly appreciated and valued. We understand that when a man has good intentions towards a relationship with us, he will make himself available to spend quality time in our company. He’ll make us feel special and that we’re one of the most important people in his life. Most of us go out of our way to make the significant male-friend in our lives feel that way, why would we accept less than we’re willing and capable of giving? We do ourselves a great disservice by behaving this way, because here’s the reality; if we’ll accept crumbs, crumbs are all we will get.

It’s certainly plausible that a man that causes us to have a sad face and a broken heart more than he causes a happy face and joyful heart may be involved with someone else. Many women are in denial about this, and because they are closing their minds and hearts to the truth, there’s no opening for wisdom to get in. Most of us desire the opportunity to walk together with someone in a relationship that is blessed with the liberty of Christ, where there’s no mess and heavy baggage weighing it down. Well, how can we have this without the truth?

Jesus Christ said in John 8:32(NLT), “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” We can’t have a relationship where Jesus Christ is the head without knowing God’s truth. God tells us in Proverbs 4:5 to get wisdom and develop good judgment. Good judgment is honoring ourselves as God’s beloved daughters who deserve His best. It’s not putting our heads in the sand and denying the fact that we’re allowing ourselves to want someone that doesn’t truly honor who we are. We’re being lied to and manipulated, and that is not God’s Will for any of His daughters.

God’s Will for our lives is to give us a blessed future and an ever-expanding hope. He is full of mercy and grace, and He requires us to have faith in Him to present us with a man that will love us through the love of Christ. Some of us have been so bamboozled by counterfeits that we have forgotten what a good man is. Let’s go to God’s Word and be in prayer that Heavenly Father etches His Will upon our hearts and minds. We must not want less for ourselves than what He desires to give us. Wanting the best for your life is never about ego. It’s about trusting that the man God wants for you will inspire and uplift you, so that you can be all that God created you to be. If you’re confident you have the capacity and desire to do the same for him, don’t accept less. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Accept Less”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 25, 2023
God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You

Psalm 84:11(NLT)
“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”

So, your boyfriend has told you that he wants to take a break, and you’re looking at him like, “Have you lost your mind?!!!” You’ve been together for two years, invested your affection, time, and resources, and he has decided that it’s not working for him. You want an explanation, right. You want to know why he allowed you to think that everything was hunky dory, and that the possibility of marriage might be somewhere down the road. You want to know why he kept taking everything you offered and never once hinted that it wasn’t enough for him or that he wasn’t happy. This man looked you in the eye and said that he needed to be out of your presence and away from your life, and he can’t even tell you exactly why.

This is hurt, frustration, anger, insecurity, and bewilderment all rolled into one. Added to this is the curiosity about what’s really going on with him. Were you duped and didn’t have a clue? Were you completely unaware of who this man really is? The questions are endless, and most of us will spend an enormous amount of time racking our brains about it. We do this because rejection knocks the wind out of our sails. It batters our self-esteem and makes us insecure about the choices and decisions we make.

When something like this occurs, we might question God and ask Him what in the world happened. We thought this man was a keeper, and we could visualize spending our lives together. We thought things were going to work out and never saw the ask for a break coming. Well, there’s a saying that we shouldn’t cry over spilled milk. The milk is on the floor, no longer drinkable, and crying will not reverse the outcome. We know this on the surface, but we’re emotional creatures. Crying over relationship issues is a common response. However, we must be confident that crying about it isn’t the only response.

We should give ourselves a short window to cry our eyes out over the relationship gone wrong, but we should also put a time limit on those tears. We most move from crying over spilled milk to formulating a plan to elevate ourselves spiritually and increase our faith.

When things don’t go right for our lives, we cry out to the Lord because we know that something is wrong. We seek Him because we’re stressed, and we don’t know how things got out of alignment. In the Old Testament, this is the situation God’s people were in when they began to cry out to Him for help. Their hearts were not with God, but they still went through the motions of worship. He was not pleased, so the release they expected didn’t materialize. God rejected their offerings and worship. He rejected their praise, and in Malachi 2:14-15(NLT), He told the men, “14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. 15 Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.”

The lives of God’s people got away from them because they failed to guard their hearts. This is a powerful lesson for those of us living today. To guard your heart is to make sure your faith in God remains strong. Then unexpected situations of disappointment and heartache will not leave you with the emotional instability of anxiety. You will not allow the impulses of panic and obsession to make you do things you know you shouldn’t do.

Philippians 4:6-7(ESV) states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” To be anxious is to be overwhelmed by fears and insecurities. Anxiety is a refusal to be at peace about situations we can’t control. It can be gut-wrenching and overwhelming, and it also shows us the areas in our lives where we are not allowing God’s love to rule. He tells us not to be anxious. This is a direct commandment. Instead, we are to pray to Him in faith, with thanksgiving.

Faith and gratitude to God is the strategy that He has given us for successful living. And the faith and gratitude that He has outlined in Philippians 4:6-7 is the appropriate response to disappointment, heartbreak, and any other adversity we face. Heavenly Father instructs us to tell Him what our needs are, and to do so with faith and gratitude in our hearts. When we do this, His peace will overcome our anxieties and comfort our hearts and minds.

Relationship mistakes and the outcomes they bring are notoriously hurtful. They can set us back in many ways, but this will not happen if we strive to increase our faith in God. We must place more effort in trusting our Heavenly Father than we do in our feelings and thoughts of abandonment and despair. The root of our heartache and disappointment is a fear that we may not ever receive the kind of relationship we desire. Our Heavenly Father allowed this fear to be exposed so that we can see it for what it is and overcome it. God will not keep a good thing from you. He will help you to grow in His love so that you recognize the blessing He sends, and most importantly, so that you continue to keep your relationship with Him the greatest priority of your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God Won’t Keep A Good Thing from You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 14, 2023
Turn Your Weariness to Excitement!

Lately, my youngest daughter has been singing a familiar tune around the house. It’s new to her but not to me. It’s an oldie but goodie, and it encourages us not to worry about a thing, because everything is going to be alright. When I asked my daughter how she knew the song, she said her teacher sings it with them at the beginning of their class. “It gets us motivated in the mornings.” She said. Whenever her classmates feel like something isn’t working out, they sing that song to themselves. I thought to myself that if kids that young are learning how to motivate themselves to get beyond the challenges they face, as adults, we have no excuse.

There’s no question about it, life gives us a workout. It can take you to the brink of wanting to give up. Your brain is tired, your body is tired, and your emotions are teetering on breakdown. When you’re at this point, you don’t want to think about anything, and you certainly don’t want to hear that you need to change in some way. You might think, “Lord, if I hear one more person tell me there’s something about myself that needs to change or that I need to change my thoughts, I’m going to scream.” You might know at least a dozen people that have been the same folks they’ve always been. They’ve had annoying and negative qualities ever since you’ve known them. They haven’t changed one bit, yet they seem to be just as blessed as they want to be.

It might seem that God is picking on you, because life just doesn’t want to cooperate when you desperately need it to. Relationship breakups, meeting men that seem nice at first but quickly lose interest and enduring those long stretches of loneliness can take a toll on your self-esteem. You don’t believe you have it in you to keep pushing and pressing, and you don’t want to hear about one more thing you have to change in order to be someone’s wife.

Believe it or not, these are normal responses. Most people don’t like change, and they are not fans of holding themselves up to the scrutiny of higher standards. But this is unavoidable in the Christian walk, because the Christian walk is about growth, and the higher standard is set by the example of Christ. The first thing you must know is that you really can’t compare the journey that God has set for you with someone else’s spiritual journey. You might think that others are not enduring the same frustrations and challenges that you are, but that isn’t true. Life forces everyone to grow whether they want to or not. This is the way God created life to operate, and there isn’t anything that anyone can do to change it, nor should we want to. Anything that doesn’t grow will die. So, if we’re not thriving in Christ, growing to be more like him every day, then we’re on the losing side.

In Romans 12:2(NIV), God tells us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” It isn’t God’s Word that is making us feel exhausted and disillusioned with life. It is the cares of the world that is doing this to us. Our Heavenly Father warns us not to get boggled down with that stuff. He commands us to renew our minds by changing the way we think. We will never get away from this process. You will never get to a point where you know enough about Christ. And you will never get done with having to deal with some of the discomfort of finding out things about yourself that aren’t pretty and then having to change them. God’s Will for you is to keep learning more about Jesus Christ so you can line up with his example.

Galatians 1:4 tells us that Jesus Christ gave himself for our sins in order to rescue us from this present evil age because this was the Will of our Father. God is cleaning us up because we need to be cleaned up, and we couldn’t possibly do it ourselves. He is preparing us for the treasure we’re slated to receive, and we need to let Him do this. We have to know that it’s going to require us to be flexible and agile, not stiff and hardened against what God is doing in our hearts through His Holy Spirit.

He tells us in Ephesians 4:23 to be made new in the spirit of our minds. This is a process, and it is a ‘reprogramming to God’s Word’ that will run throughout the rest of our lives. God commands us in Ephesians 5:8 to walk as children of light, and He is committed to helping us do this. Our problem is that we don’t believe God is helping us in a way that will yield a beautiful blessing. We call His glorious process of transformation a burden, yet when the world demands that we change to meet its standard, we’ll spend all types of money for a new fix. We have to change our priorities.

God tells us in Galatians 6:9(NIV), “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” The reason that God encourages us not to give up is because many of us are in fact weary in doing good. We want the pleasure without the sacrifice. We must turn our weariness to excitement and faith, because our God is a Rewarder to those that diligently seek Him. If we continue to press, we will receive the treasure.

Don’t look at what others are doing or what they may or may not be going through. They are not you. They don’t have the destiny you have. Keep your eyes stayed on Jesus Christ. They can’t have your prize and you can’t have theirs. What God has for you is indeed for you. Allow Him to condition you. Lean on God and let Him show you what He will do. You may feel as though you’re at the brink of exhaustion in every way but take pleasure in the “YOU” that you are becoming. Your treasure is worth it, and so are you.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Turn Your Weariness to Excitement!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 31, 2023
Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements

Life will give you what you give it. This is the lesson many mature believing women have learned throughout their spiritual journeys in Christ. Our Lord and Master tells us in Luke 6:38(NLT), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” He is teaching a very important and immutable law regarding the way in which Heavenly Father has setup the universe to operate. It is a law that works for the positive actions, energy, attitude, and deeds we put out there, and the negative as well. This Law of Giving and Receiving will never fail. It cannot be broken or altered. If we take a sinful or negative thought and allow it to manifest into a sinful action, it is going to have an impact on our lives, and we will not like it. Even those who do not know Jesus Christ in the pardon of their sins understand this law.

The Law of Giving and Receiving is packed with God’s unparalleled intelligence, grace, power, and goodness. It’s a law that forces us to humble ourselves, because we can’t come before God with excuses about our level of giving. We can’t convince Him that we’ve been amazingly Godly in our actions and deeds when we haven’t. Proverbs 24:12(NLT) cuts it down like this, “Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.”

The old nature is the nature we had before we came to Christ. It’s a nature that God calls His enemy, because it goes against His Word. It is a nature consumed with selfishness, pride, indulgence, revenge, pettiness, and all manner of darkness. Rebellion is the oil in the old nature’s engine, and many of us still have it in our hearts and minds. We don’t want to be disciplined or to do what God says if it interferes with what we like and want. And we convince ourselves that we are justified in our actions. Some think God’s forgiveness means that we can continue doing wrong and He’ll give us a pass, that there won’t be a price to pay for not lining up with His Word. Even an unlearned parent teaches their children that although bad behavior is forgiven, it has a cost. Heavenly Father has set up the entire universe to be friendly to those that obey Him, so we can avoid the consequence of wrong action through obedience to God’s Word.

A woman said to me once, “God knows my heart, He knows that I have needs and if I ask Him to forgive me, He will.” How many women have thought this to themselves? Tons, I bet. As believers, we can’t presume to tell God we have needs and then not have faith in Him to take care of them. And we certainly can’t call sin a need. He tells us in His Word that He is our Provider and Protector. Philippians 4:19(NLT), states “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” God is our Source, Sufficiency, and Supplier. So, if we go off on our own, and decide we’re going to take care of our own needs, what does this say about our faith in God? For many, therein lies the issue. They are not really trusting Heavenly Father for all things.

We must come to grips with the truth, because if we’re believing a lie, that’s not going to give us a foundation for marriage and the kind of life we want. As women of God, we feel pressure to try and balance our needs and the man’s needs, and still be Godly. We can’t start from that position because it isn’t a winning one. Jesus Christ tells us to seek GOD first. He must always be first with us. So, we must start our significant relationships, or any other thing we attempt to do, by putting God’s requirements in the top spot, and then everything else will fall in line.

We are not robots, and yes, we have needs, but God is our Creator. Sometimes what we think is a need is a temptation from the devil. We’ve given in to it so many times that now we have developed a pattern of listening to our flesh rather than listening to and honoring God. None of us have what it takes to balance our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs. Only God can do this. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

Our responsibility is to let God be at work by being committed to do what He says in His Word. Most of us have done things our way and indulged ourselves whenever we have had opportunity. We have been rebellious in certain areas of our lives for a long while now. It’s time to make a change. Our actions and intentions should be focused on building and strengthening our relationship with the Lord. We need to be conscious about what we’re doing and only put things out there that please Heavenly Father. When this is our main intention and motivation, we will receive the bounty and abundance that are tied to living and loving through Jesus Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 9, 2023
Being Single Again

When we enter a relationship, it’s impossible to know the outcome. We can’t see the ups and downs, and all the nuisances that either strengthen the relationship or tear it down. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:12(NLT), “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” We’re not perfect, and there are lots of things we don’t understand. We know in part, but not in whole. Through Paul, God is making it crystal clear that we need the help of the Holy Spirit in every area of life, and this is especially true when it comes to the significant person in our lives.

Ephesians 5:31-33(NLT) says, “As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This passage tells us God’s standard. This is what Heavenly Father has said regarding the institution of marriage. The enemy tries to destroy the minds and hearts of men and women towards marriage, and we have been incredibly unconscious about what the devil is doing. God tells us that marriage between a man and woman is a portrait of the unity that is shared by Christ and his body, which is the church. Another way of looking at it is to see marriage as training for the oneness we are to have with Jesus Christ. Our bond with a spouse is symbolic of the unity we should have with Christ and with one another as his body.

We can see very clearly here that unity is extremely important to God. As single women that desire to be married, sometimes we don’t see unity in the light God intends. Some of us think only about being loved by someone and sharing intimacy. That’s all a part of it, but the most important aspect of marriage is the unity and partnership spouses share through the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s having that blessing and anointing of God in the relationship that allows it to withstand the blows the devil sends and to last and deepen with time.

As singles that have fallen deeply in love in past relationships and have suffered heartache in them, we have the unique opportunity to humble ourselves before God in a way that we didn’t before. Within us all lies a tremendous desire to be loved. God knows this, because He is the One that has given us the capacity to give and receive love, and He established marriage as a major way to keep His love flowing. When we find ourselves single again, it is an opportunity to correct some of the things we perhaps missed before. Our commitment must be to do as Jesus Christ instructs in Matthew 6:33, which is to seek God’s Kingdom first in everything we do. Especially in our significant relationship, we must ensure that God is always our top priority, and that nothing comes before Him. Jesus Christ promises that when we do this, everything else will be given to us and fall into place. Real love comes from God, and our love for Him must be cemented at the root of our hearts, minds, and souls. The love of God in Christ is the glue that holds our relationships together and makes sure they are built on solid ground. This is paramount for any woman that seeks to sustain a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, as Paul said. The Lord Jesus Christ knows what more we need to see and understand in order for us to move forward in spiritual maturity. He knows what is required in us to be spiritually strengthened to the point of helping and not harming our future marriage. Being single again allows us time to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, because he can teach us where things went left in the past so that we don’t go down those paths any longer.

The sting of heartbreak can be devastating, but we don’t have to keep repeatedly going down that road. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” We need the light of Christ guiding us to make good decisions and to learn the lessons that will strengthen our hearts. His light illuminates God’s wisdom and positions us for the person He desires to walk with us through life. Be vigilant in prayer and trust God’s truth to prepare you for the blessing and reward of your future spouse. Then, after you meet him, don’t slip back to those sinful ways. Remain firmly committed to Christ as you are led and guided by the Spirit throughout your relationship and marriage. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Being Single Again”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 26, 2023
Want What God Wants for You

For some who may not be interested in God’s standard, marriage seems to be in vogue again. There are seasons when for them, it’s on trend, and then there are seasons where living together with your significant person is the way to go. For the believer, it has always been understood that God established marriage for His purposes and has ordained it as the foundation for families. Even those who don’t know the Lord Jesus Christ and haven’t accepted him as their personal Lord and Savior are beginning to open their eyes. They are starting to see that the unwed living together arrangement is far from what a committed person deserves. A commitment without God’s blessing and approval is like a promise made by someone on their death bed. They mean to keep it, but they don’t have the hope of life, faith, and goodness to back it up.

Know your worth
Romans 8:32(NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Those of us that are parents understand what it means to love and sacrifice for your children. You’ll do just about anything to secure their happiness and you only want the best for them. You never want to see them in harm’s way. Well, John 3:16(NKJV) says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Jesus Christ is God’s only begotten Son. He is God’s greatest treasure, yet our Heavenly offered him up as a sacrifice for our sins. What does this say about how much God loves us?

God’s love is unconditional, unlimited, and the purest of all. There is no greater power than His love, and Romans 8:39 tells us there isn’t anything that can separate us from it. He treasures us more than we can fathom, and He showed us this through Jesus Christ. God paid the highest price imaginable to purchase us back from darkness. Ever Since He did this for us through Christ, He’s been showing us and has done everything possible to get us to understand our worth to Him.

God doesn’t give imperfect gifts. He only gives gifts that are good and perfect, because HE is good and perfect. Through Christ, He’s given us the capacity to love completely through Him. It’s a perfect capacity with no impurities or glitches. Freely we have received this love, and we are charged by God to freely give it out. Marriage is established by our Heavenly Father as one of the greatest ways in which we give out His love. It’s one of the chief ways that He has established for us to make the greatest ‘love’ impact during our lifetimes. Marriage co-signs His love. We are to love our spouses through God in Christ, because we’ve been empowered by Him to love and live at this high level of unity, service, faith, and love. Anything less than this means that we are accepting that which is beneath our privilege.

Marriage is the validation God has established
We desire marriage because we recognize somewhere within that it demonstrates a man’s greatest level of love towards us. We’re wired for this kind of validation. Without it, some of us feed into our worst insecurities. Without a marriage commitment, many women start to feel used and that the man is taking advantage of them. When you are willing to give your all, it’s hurtful when it isn’t reciprocated. The reason it hurts is because we understand that we’re not supposed to be treated that way. The thing is, when we settle for less than a marital commitment, we treat our own selves that way. We’re settling for less than God desires for us. So, we are treating ourselves poorly and teaching the person we love to treat us in the same manner.

Ephesians 5:28-31(NLT) says, “28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Marriage was created and established by God to be sacred and holy. It will forever be, and there’s nothing any human being can do to diminish its importance and purpose. We must come to a place where we want what God wants for us. Heavenly Father wants every woman to walk in her worth and to know the love of a man that honors it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Want What God Wants for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 19, 2023
Listen, Learn, and Love

“31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. 32 If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”
Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT)

People say I have a way of making others feel comfortable, and it’s easy to talk to me. As thankful as I am to hear this, I have to admit that it hasn’t always been the case. Some people are not fans of open communication. Not only do they not like talking about themselves, talking about their feelings makes them very uncomfortable as well. I’m not one of those people. Our Heavenly Father has given us this gift called ‘personality’, and each of us has one. We are all different and have unique qualities. As the Father would have it, I’ve always had the gift of gab, and the fact that I’m curious about many subjects didn’t hurt. When I was younger, I felt I had a lot to say. So, I can talk your ear off, but listening attentively was another story. Listening is a skill that it takes time to learn for many of us, and it is a practice that is absolutely necessary to maintaining a good relationship.

As I have matured in God’s Word, I have learned that being a good listener is just as important as being a good communicator. Some would even say that it is even more important to listen than it is to speak. To listen is to take in what has been spoken or conveyed, and to do so in a way that the information is evaluated, valued or used. It goes without saying that we listen to people we value. If they don’t feel we’re hearing them, they may not feel as though we value them or their opinions. It should be no surprise to us that people can be very offended when we don’t give them the courtesy of being heard. So, not only is listening very important to honoring and respecting our relationship with God, it is also crucial to fostering all our other relationships as well.

The wisdom of Proverbs 20:12(NLT) says, “Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD.” This is a very plain and straightforward truth, so much so that its impact may slip by you if you’re not careful. Nothing about the way God created human beings is random. He’s given us ears to hear and eyes to see so that we can perceive and digest internally information we receive externally. He could have placed all the information we’d ever need in our minds from the very beginning. He could have designed us in such a way that we wouldn’t need to hear or see anything, but we are made in God’s image. He sees and He hears, and so do we.

God has created us to be creatures of faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It is our choice whether we will listen to God’s Word or listen to the lies that come from the world. We decide what is important to us, and to a great degree we decide what we will hear and learn. Our choices about how and what we will listen to inform everything around us of our identity. If I’m a person that is interested in the truth, I will listen to what God says in His Word. If I’m a person that isn’t interested in the truth, I will not listen to God, but instead will give more attention to other sources of information. A person’s choice to listen to God affirms their identity as His child, for Jesus Christ said in John 10:27(NLT), “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

We can see that God has been masterfully strategic in giving us eyes and ears, and we must be masterfully strategic in using His gifts to bring glory and honor back to Him. In Matthew 11:15 and 13:9(NLT), as Jesus Christ taught God’s Word, he would say, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand! In this simple verse, he is commanding us not just to listen but to learn. Jesus Christ is pointing to the reality that you and I have a choice. It is our privilege and responsibility to both listen and to understand God’s Word.

The Holy Spirit that indwells us is our teacher. As we hear, read, and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit works within us internally, causing our understanding to come together in such a way that we comprehend the Word. Hebrews 10:14-16(NLT)tells us, “For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, “This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”” Through the Spirit, the Word is already written on our hearts, and as we read, study, and listen to it, the Holy Spirit affirms the testimony of God’s truth from within. When the Holy Spirit testifies with our spirit, truth becomes a part of us, and our faith is strengthened. We desperately need this to happen.

The importance of knowing the Holy Spirit as our Teacher, Guide, and Comforter is the most important aspect of living a successful life as a believer in Christ. It is critical to moving forward in our quest for marriage. Many single women have expected God to guide them to meet the man that they will marry, but they have had little to no interest in being guided by God’s Spirit to learn God’s Word. 2Timothy 2:15(NLT) commands us, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.” How can we expect to receive God’s approval for partnering without first committing ourselves to 2Timothy 2:15?

To listen to and learn God’s Word is required in order to love the way He desires us to love. Marriage is the reward for doing what God says, but many of us have looked upon it as an entitlement. We must develop the habit pattern of listening and learning through the Holy Spirit so that he can guide us through God’s Word. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will tell us the Word, he will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ. We can’t have successful marriages and relationships without hearing from the Lord. We need to become masterful listeners, hearing God’s truth first, then we will be able to apply sensitive and attentive hearing as thoughtful spouses who are led by the truth.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Listen, Learn, and Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 23, 2023
Out with the Old and In with the New

Isaiah 43:19(NLT)
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”

My conversation with a dear sister in Christ led me to really draw nearer to this verse of scripture in Isaiah 43. My sister-friend recently had a breakup with her significant other, and she was feeling the sting of his absence in her life. I knew she was hurting, and I counseled her as best any good Christian friend would – with the love of Christ and with truth. I told her not to dwell in that space of hurt for too long and try not to be in touch with her ex if possible.

There is never going to be a set time on how long it takes for someone to get over a breakup. It may take a few weeks, a few months and for some, it may take much longer; it is also why the verse in Isaiah 43 resonates so much with me, and I pray it does with you. Through His prophet, God told His people, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” When He told His people this, they were in one of the worst tribulation experiences that any human have. They were in bondage. They had lost their prominence, their possessions, and their place of dwelling. Their eyes were so closed to possibility that all they could see was the gloom of their situation. God was telling them to open their eyes to His power, because His masterful plan for them was already turning things around. This is the same eye-opening hope and faith that you and I must have in God.

God lets us know without any shadow of doubt that He does a new thing in our lives daily. Not just once a month or once a year, but every single day of our lives. Even when it comes down to the sinful behavior we may commit while in our relationships, God is quick to blot them out as soon as we ask for His forgiveness. He remembers our sins no more, and He told His people in Isaiah 43:25(NLT), “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” He lets us know so lovingly that He is not like us. He doesn’t look at us through the same lens as others or even the way we look at ourselves. God sees the Christ in us and never looks on the impurities of our sinful souls. He wants us to also see ourselves in this way—as brand new!

The Apostle Paul said in Galatian 6:14-15(MSG), “For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!” When we’re brand new, we don’t give up hope because of something that went wrong in the past. Instead, we celebrate newness because we have faith that God is always up to something good, and He is always doing something new for, with, and in us. Our attitude should continually be ‘out with the old and in with the new!’

I’m sure many of us wish we could just wake up one morning and every hurtful circumstance or bad behavior would just vamoose out of our memory completely. But it doesn’t matter to God how many bad memories we have or how many wrong choices in men we’ve made, Heavenly Father’s love for us is infinitely higher than we could ever imagine. He wants us to be forever fulfilled with an abundance of love and happiness, this is what is most important to Him. He is greater than any mistake we can make, and His love will heal our hearts and cause us to be better than we ever imagined.

Sometimes we need a little help to understand that before we can embrace something new, we may need to let go of some of our old patterns and behaviors. I recently went through my closet and got rid of some clothes and shoes that I no longer needed and wasn’t wearing. It instantly hit me that this is what many single people should do in their personal lives. Get rid of what you don’t need, those emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes that do not help you increase in faith and love. Refuse to wear those things any longer! The point is to make room for something new. You just never know what God has working in the background. Don’t miss what He has for you by focusing on what has passed. Shift your attention and focus to the new that God is bringing into your life and trust Him to guide you to it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“Out with the Old and In with the New”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 14, 2022