Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

Holding on When You Should Let It Go

One of my dear friends is 70 years old and admittedly, she’s stubborn, skeptical and cynical; in her mind, all for good reason. She says she loves God, but she’s never considered the reality of getting close to Him. Most of her faith practices are based on what she was taught as a child, and she’s never deviated from the script. Her parents were devoted members of their faith community, but they never talked about Jesus Christ in their home. So, when she grew up to have a family of her own, they never talked about Christ either. Her mother had been a dutiful wife that kept her mouth shut about her own sadness, but she grew to become very bitter about it. My friend carries this same bitterness. It has shown up in every aspect of her life, but she refuses to see it. She was married to her husband for almost thirty years. He passed away almost twenty years ago, and she has refused to consider getting close to God. She believes He allowed her to be left alone.

Many women feel this kind of resentment, and even if they’ve not verbalized it, some of them believe God has caused them to be alone, without the companionship of a good man in their lives. Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” As people of faith who honor God, we shouldn’t pick and choose what parts of His Word we think are true and discount the other parts. All of God’s Word is true. It’s our understanding and comprehension of it that’s sometimes faulty, but make no mistake, God commands us to believe the promises He makes to us. He requires that we trust His Word and that we trust who He says He is.

Any relationship will require two individuals to mutually agree that getting to know each other is a worthwhile endeavor. Both have to be interested in one another, and they must be willing to share information and communicate with each other about their qualities, character, likes and dislikes. Getting to know each other is a beautiful process that is built on mutual respect and honor. We must love and honor God for who He is, because He loves and honors who we are. He doesn’t have to honor us, because He’s God! He’s our Creator, and He could wipeout every living person in less time than a blink of an eye. He could erase even the faintest memory of all life and make it appear as though none of us has ever been on this earth. He doesn’t do this because 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love, and love does not destroy. Love redeems, restores, and builds up.

God has never violated our free-will choices, and He doesn’t interfere in our lives without our invitation. He’s showing us that we’re His masterpieces, and He honors us. He respects the relationship He wants to have with every person. No less from us is required. We must honor God, and if we’re resenting Him because we think He’s not cooperating with our desires, that’s not honor. That’s wrong believing. It’s doubt, and doubt will take us further away from what we desire, not closer to it.

Some of our doubt is passed down from those we cherished and loved. They did not mean to do it, but because they were not taught the truth of God’s Word, they too had doubt in their hearts and minds. There is no way to put a positive spin on doubt and fear. They cripple our faith, and the only remedy is to snuff them out. They must be eradicated so that faith and love can occupy the space that they took up. Some of us won’t get to a place of full surrender, because we’ve been a certain way so long, and we can’t imagine changing. It’s like with my friend, if I even hint that she would experience the joy of the Lord if she changed her attitude, she cuts me off or changes the subject before I can say anything further.

Proverbs 9:8-9(NLT) tells us, “8 So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.” The Word of God is more valuable than pearls. It’s the greatest treasure we can imagine, but not all will see His truth for the priceless treasure it is. Some will reject it, and it is useless to try to correct them. None of us should ever want to be like those who blatantly reject the light of God’s truth. Instead, we should desire to become wiser and to be sharpened by God’s Word. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:11(NLT), “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.” It’s time! We must put away immaturity. We’ve been holding on to things we should have let go years ago. This speaks to our refusal to grow beyond the thing that ties us to the past. We must recognize that it’s holding us back and keeping us from what God has for us.

Grudges, resentment, bitterness, and anger about things that happened years ago, these will keep us from capturing the blessings we desire. If you’ve got an attitude of doubt in our heart and mind, and you’ve thought that God is withholding the blessing of marriage from you, repent. None of us can afford to have this kind of fear laid to our charge. Recognize that doubt and fear come from satan. God blesses and increases His Word. He will not bless a lie, and when we allow doubt and fear to surround our hearts and minds, and we wrap our thoughts and feelings in it, we’re using the tools of darkness to build our tomorrows. There’s no reward in that. God will not punish us for doing this, He will correct us if we allow ourselves to be corrected. Draw close to God. Study His Word and let the love of God in Christ increase in your heart and mind. When you do this, you’ll get rid of doubt, and you’ll only draw the blessings that God wants to give you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Holding on When You Should Let It Go”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 18, 2022
God’s Plan for You Won’t Fail

“Why do grown folks always have to spoil everything?!!!” As a teenager dating my high school sweetheart, this is what I thought to myself every time my mother commented on my future plans for marrying him. I was absolutely sure of our feelings for one another, and you couldn’t tell me anything different. Daydreaming about us, I’d write the both of our names on a piece of paper, envisioning it one day on a wedding invitation. My plans seemed just perfect, and in my mind, love was all you needed, but my mother knew this wasn’t the case. She had the wisdom of love’s mistakes and successes, and my seventeen-year-old self couldn’t imagine that she had ever been in love the way that I was at the time. My mother saw the way I’d look at him. I smiled cheek to cheek every time we were together. I was in a daze, and she’d say to me, “Girl, you better get your head out of the clouds.”

The thing that my mother knew, and that I didn’t have a clue about, is that I didn’t have a foundation. I hadn’t thought about all the ways in which life could give you a good spanking if you hadn’t prepared for its ups and downs. Thank goodness for time, maturity, and life experiences, but most importantly, thank God for ordering my steps and leading me according to His wisdom. I was young, immature, and very vulnerable emotionally. As I look back to where I was then, I realize what a drastic mistake I would have made had I been allowed to do what I wanted.

There are young women I went to school with that married the guys they dated in high school. Some of them are together to this day, but there are others that I’ve spoken to that have said they’d do things differently. Given the chance all over again, they would have been more patient to see what God had in store for them. This is a lesson that none of us should want to learn the hard way.

Romans 12:2(MSG) tells us, “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” God instructs us to fix our attention on Him, and this is a skill that we become better and better at through practice. Relationships take a tremendous amount of focus and effort, but when we have developed spiritual, mental, and emotional maturity, we are able to handle the rigors of a relationship in such a way that it doesn’t detract from our relationship with God.

Keeping our relationship with God on point will keep everything else in our lives on point. We must never lose sight of the reality that we are products of God’s love. He tells us to flush our thoughts with His truth so that we wear His love like a uniform. Heavenly Father has commanded us to love through Jesus Christ, because the love of Christ is a fully developed, never ending love. Only the love of God in Christ has the glue to hold a relationship together.

Many of us allow our emotions to rule our choices and decisions, but God desires that the wisdom of His Word becomes the foundation on which we build our lives. His Word should govern our choices. God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11(NIV), “For I know the plans I have for you. Declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” We serve a sovereign God! There’s none like Him. No one compares, and no one can take His place. He created the universe and all that we see. It would be nonsensical to speculate for one tenth of one second that we can formulate a plan that is anywhere near as profitable and beneficial as the plan He has for us. God always knows best. The psalmist said in Psalm 40:5(NLT), “O LORD my God, you have performed many wonders for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list. You have no equal. If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds, I would never come to the end of them.”

Although many of us grow up and mature in every other way, sometimes our emotions get stuck. We are reminded of those days when butterflies churned in our bellies, and attachments were both sweet and all-consuming. Many of us carry those emotional impulses and responses of our younger years into our adult relationships. This means that we might make relationship choices from this same place of emotional immaturity. Instead of choosing someone who responds to our strength and confidence in Christ, many of us choose someone that responds to that part of us that isn’t as emotionally developed as it should be.

God knows we’re not perfect. He knows exactly where and how we need to grow so that we’re transforming into the men and women He desires us to be. This is one of the reasons He instructs us to let Jesus Christ guide us when it comes to choosing the person that is right for our lives. In Colossians 3:16, God commands us to let the Word of Christ dwell in us richly. We are to let the message of Christ sink into us so that we have the full vocabulary of God’s love. Then, our conversations will lead to peace and the Lordship of Christ will cause us to respond to our future spouses, and them to us, in the most loving way. God has this all figured out, and we must trust His plan for us because it will not fail. If we allow ourselves to be led of God, He will present a man that will strengthen the places where we’re weak. God knows this very moment the man that will minister and bless our lives the most. This is what He wants for us, and we should want this as well.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“God’s Plan for You Won’t Fail” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 4, 2022
Remember, God is Watching

Why do two people decide to get married? I will venture to say that most of us will choose to utter those profound two little words, “I Do!”, because we believe we’ve met someone we don’t want to live without. Our wise mothers and grandmothers will school us on this topic. They will tell us that saying the words “I Do!” is the easiest part about marriage. They’d want us to realize that the decision regarding who we choose to walk with us through life is one we must be very careful about making. We don’t always understand that the person to whom we say those two little words will change, and so will we. Only God knows how and the extent to which we both will change. And Most importantly, only the Lord knows if we have actually chosen someone that is in our best interest, someone that He wants us to unite with. This piece of knowledge should make us see that we need God’s help, and we should seek it way before we begin planning that walk down the aisle.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 16:19(NLT), “And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.” All of us should realize that the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven are no small thing. This is a huge gift the Master has given us. In this verse, Jesus Christ tells us a little bit about these keys. He tells us that they both lock up and unlock some doors. He’s placed these powerful keys in our hands. This means that we decide which doors they will unlock and lock. We need look no further than our own lives to recognize that if we want to unlock a wrong door, the Lord will allow it. He placed the keys in our hands, and He will not take them back. But if we are patient and seek Him diligently, He will show us the right doors to open as well as those that need to remain locked.

You might be asking, “Well what’s the point of giving me the keys if I have to go through all this work of finding the right door? Why doesn’t God do this for me?” God has given us the gift of free-will. How we use it is up to us, but His greatest hope is that we will partner with Him in everything that we do. 1John 4:8 tells us that God is love. As we study His Word, we learn that His love never fails, and God’s love doesn’t restrict our choices. Just as He didn’t remove the tree of the knowledge of good and evil from the Garden of Eden, He doesn’t hinder, remove, or alter our ability to make our own choices. Love gives freedom, and we decide what we will do, who we will be, and how we will respond to the enormous gifts that God has given us.

We decide the degree to which we will honor God with our choices. We choose whether we will trust in His Word, be led of His Spirit, and lean not on our own understanding, or we can make choices based on our own agendas. It’s up to us, but we will never get away from the reality that responsibility and accountability will always come with freedom.

Galatians 3:22(NLT) tells us, “But the Scriptures declare that we are all prisoners of sin, so we receive God’s promise of freedom only by believing in Jesus Christ.” Believing and trusting God is a choice, and He’s placed us here on this earth to make it. Sin will always be a trap that satan lays for the believer. Freedom is what we have in Christ when we believe with everything in us that choosing God’s love is always the best choice. Choosing God’s love is freedom! And therein lies the reality of free-will choice. Our choice to do what pleases God backs up our faith. James 2:26 tells us that faith without works is dead. Making the decision to commit ourselves to please God demonstrates our faith in His Word, and this faith will bring into fruition the promise of all He has for us.

2Chronicles 16:9 tells us that the eyes of the Lord search the whole earth. What is He searching for? He’s searching to find those who have a heart that is fully committed to Him. He has made it clear in His Word that we don’t have to be perfect to have a heart that is fully committed to God, but we must be humble before Him. We must be committed to surrender to His sovereignty. So, God is watching us. He is looking to see what we do with this extraordinary gift of free-will choice. He’s looking at what we do with the responsibility that comes with it.

From the very beginning, in the Book of Genesis, God told us about the first couple. He chose the union of marriage between a man and a woman to begin our understanding of His plan. This shows us that one of the most important responsibilities of free-will choice is caring for another person’s heart. 1John 3:18(NLT) says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” So many of us are complaining about the wait, but we must remember that God is watching. Your willingness to patiently endure, to grow in Christ and increase your faith means that you understand the heft of what you’re asking for. Thank God that Christ has given you the keys, now let the Lord lead you to the right door.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Remember, God Is Watching”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 27, 2022
Listen Carefully to the Truth

Hebrews 2:1(NLT)
“So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.”

After hearing her mother’s lighthearted but firm warning, a twenty-three-year-old daughter chuckled and told her over the phone, “You’re going to ruin my first date before it starts.” Her daughter had met a very nice guy from her job, and they were going out on their first date. The daughter had called her mom to ask the name of the restaurant she’d taken her to a couple of months ago. She thought it would be a good place to check out. While on the phone, her mother gave her a few reminder tips on the do’s and don’ts of Christian woman etiquette. Her daughter was a bit annoyed that her mom felt she needed to be reminded. Afterall, she had been walking the straight and narrow path when it came to dating and relationships, but it had been such a long time since she met someone new. She didn’t want high expectations and standards to make her seem overanxious or under confident.

We can read scriptures in the bible multiple times, but no matter how many times we read them, the revelation we receive is always fresh and new. When it comes to dating, hearing the Word and being reminded of it continually is absolutely vital. It’s just too easy to let our minds and hearts slip to those old ways. If we allow ourselves to slip back to old thinking, behaviors, and attitudes, we can be tempted to let down our guards. Our confidence and standards can be easily eroded, and this is why it is important for us to keep ourselves spiritually sharp and alert through God’s Word.

Hebrews 2:1 reminds us that we must listen very carefully to the truth we’ve heard. To listen carefully is to pay attention to the instructions that have been spoken. It’s to take them into our hearts and keep them locked away. The psalmist, David, spoke about this in Psalm 119:11 when he said, “I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” David understood that only God can rescue us, and only God’s Word can cause our eyes to be open so that we can see clearly what is before us. We are to look to God’s Word for guidance and counseling, but so many single people are willing to forego the standard of God’s Word simply to have a relationship. This is a recipe for trouble, because there is always a price to pay for not obeying God’s Word.

Having a relationship with a person we really like is wonderful, but as great as it is, it’s not on the same level as the privilege and treasure of receiving the revelation of God’s Word. The truth of God’s Word makes it possible for unity and harmony in relationships to be developed and maintained. God’s Word is the glue. If accepting God’s truth and living by it is not the basis of our faith as single people, we may not have the faith to maintain the relationship we seek. God tells us in Romans 10:17 that faith comes by hearing His Word. This means that what God has to say on a subject is more than a few sentences strung together. His Words carry His supernatural power! His Word is life to us! Faith will come and do its most perfect work where the God’s truth is honored and lived. Nothing will ever diminish the reality of this foundation.

We can’t afford to be asleep when it comes to relationships. Therefore, we shouldn’t take anything for granted. Ephesians 6:11(NLT) tells us, “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.” This verse makes it clear that we have a spiritual enemy, and God tells us that the way to stand against the devil is to put on every piece of God’s armor. We should never let ourselves forget that the enemy has his eyes on the unions we seek to develop, and he wants to tear those unions apart because he hates unity. God’s Word will keep us alert so that we cannot be outsmarted by the devil. God has provided this protection for our relationships, and they desperately need it. We must understand that remaining in God’s Word is the very best move we can make.

So, when the mother reminded her daughter to keep her guard up and maintain the standard of God’s Word she had been taught, she gave her daughter a jewel. She was helping her to protect what belongs to God, so that He would stay at His rightful place of honor in the daughter’s heart. To drift away from God’s truth can bring about heartbreaking circumstances that can sometimes take a long time to remedy. The consequences we face from bad choices and wrong decisions are often swift and painful. But staying true to Christ allows us to shine bright. We must trust and believe with everything in our hearts that the right man will adore our light and always respect our stand on God’s Word.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Listen Carefully to the Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 13, 2022
Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder if the path you’re on is just not getting you where you want to go? Does it seem like you’re traveling rocky terrain and you can’t seem to build the type of momentum you expected? Many single believers feel this way about relationships and finding the right person. They’re wondering why it seems so challenging to meet someone who’s compatible and actually believes marriage is one of life’s treasures. Every day you wake up hoping it will be different from all the rest, and that you’ll meet the person that starts a new chapter for you. After a while, you start to wonder if things will ever go your way. There are folks that have gotten tired of waiting. They’ve stepped outside of Godliness and are doing whatever they want. You might be wondering if that’s a path you should take.

The first question you might consider asking yourself is “How important is it to me to wait on God?” Is this a requirement for a follower of Christ? Does God require those that are committed to Him to wait for the fulfillment of His promises? So many people have chosen not to do so. Especially in these times, more and more people are abandoning the spiritual discipline of waiting on God. Make no mistake, spiritual warfare is real, and the devil has used the desire for marriage to separate many singles from their relationship with God, and therefore, they are separated from the blessings He wants to give them.

This spiritual war began way before Adam and Eve were created. It began when satan, once a beautiful cherub, decided to rebel against Heavenly Father’s Will. The Lord said of satan in Ezekiel 28:12-15(NKJV), “You were the seal of perfection, Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering: the sardius, topaz, and diamond, Beryl, onyx, and jasper, Sapphire, turquoise, and emerald with gold. The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes was prepared for you on the day you were created. “You were the anointed cherub who covers; I established you; You were on the holy mountain of God; You walked back and forth in the midst of fiery stones. You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, till iniquity was found in you.”

Isaiah 14:12 tells us that God cut satan down to the ground because he destroyed the nations of the world and tried to exalt his throne above God’s stars. Isaiah 14:14 tells us that satan was full of arrogance and wanted to be like the Most High, so he was thrown out of heaven. The realm that satan oversees is utter destruction and darkness; he is trying to put us in that same bondage so that we will not fulfill the destiny in Christ that God has ordained for our lives. It is the battle of good versus evil, light versus darkness, faith versus fear, and God versus satan. The choice of which side we are going to be on is ever before us.

Psalm 27:14(NLT) says, “Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.” The reason that we can be brave and courageous in the wait is because the Lord does not disappoint. The Lord doesn’t fail. He is faithful to keep His promises and we can lean upon Him with absolute confidence. After a certain amount of time has gone by, we might be tricked into thinking that the Lord isn’t going to answer our prayers. We might think He’s forgotten about our need, and that He’s unhappy with us. Nothing could be further from the truth. God is working both in us and in the person that will walk with us through life.

Think about where you are and all the emotional ups and downs you’ve gone through during the process of waiting. You’ve had doubts, you’ve made mistakes, and you may have resented the time it is taking. You might think to yourself, “I’ve already been patiently waiting on the Lord, and nothing is happening.” Life does not begin with marriage, nor should the fulfillment of it be dependent on marriage. Our life is in Jesus Christ! Heavenly Father doesn’t punish us for not coming to grips with this reality, but He absolutely expects that we will learn it so we can walk by faith.

God has called us to His purpose, and there is much we are called to do. Jesus Christ said in Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears, and we will never escape this truth. We are in the fruit producing business, and it is a spiritual trade we must master before we think about marriage. Most of us spend so little time on Kingdom business. We’re on social media, our phones, at work or doing a million other things. Some of us spend 90 -95% of our time pursuing our own agendas, and then we get upset when God doesn’t reward our lack of attention to His purpose.

Significant relationships are probably one of the most rewarding ventures in life, but they are also very challenging. Spiritual maturity is a must to sustain them. And the truth is that if we have time to complain about waiting, we’re not busy enough with Kingdom pursuits. Each night, we should be so tired from running our races for Jesus that all we think about is praying and going to sleep. God cannot be an afterthought, and He will teach us to prioritize so that this is never the case in our lives.

2Peter 3:9(NLT) tells us, “The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” God’s timing is impeccable. It is so on point that it would blow our minds to know just how truly perfect His timing is. He doesn’t make mistakes, and He is not withholding our blessings. He is being patient for our sakes. He’s giving us time to sharpen our level of spiritual maturity so that we can handle the sometimes rocky terrain of marriage.

God doesn’t want us destroying one of His treasures, and He doesn’t want anyone harming us either. He doesn’t want us hurting someone and impeding their spiritual journey in Christ because we haven’t learned to be kind, compassionate, and unselfish. He doesn’t want anyone’s heart to be crushed by another person’s habit of carrying resentment, acting out in anger, and doubting His goodness. Heavenly Father is going to protect His treasures even when they don’t realize that this is what He’s doing. So, if you are wondering if you’ll have to wait longer, you might. But know that if you continue to do what He’s called you to do, and grow in Christ, He will answer your prayers and His timing will be perfect.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Do You Ever Wonder?”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 6, 2022
Work, Waiting, Want, and Will

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5(NLT) tells us, “4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I’m very partial to these verses. They resonate with me on a personal level. I was raised on a farm in the rural south, and my grandfather was a farmer with lots of land and plenty of farm animals. I know personally that farming is hard work. My grandfather would be up before the chickens. Sometimes during the day, we’d visit him in the chicken houses and play with the baby chicks. He never stopped working, not for rain or bad weather, not for sore muscles and aching bones, and not for the trivial things that impede many of us today. I don’t even think the word ‘perfect’ was in his vocabulary. Whatever degree of perfection existed in his mind came at the price of hard work, and there were no excuses. People often say today that men like my grandfather don’t exist anymore. To some extent that might be true, but it doesn’t take away from the reality that God uses the example of a farmer to paint a very clear picture for us, and as single believers, we can’t afford to miss it.

My grandfather wasn’t the type of man that waited around for things to happen; farming in his day didn’t allow that luxury. He was up rain or shine, cold or hot. He was planting, sowing, feeding, and picking; and he knew exactly how to perform this work. The thing about a farmer is that he or she `realizes they’re not the ones in charge of the harvest. God is in charge of the harvest. Jesus Christ tells us this in Matthew 9:38. He tells us to pray to Heavenly Father who is in charge of the harvest and ask Him to send more workers into His fields. This gives us all the perspective we need. Humans can’t control the necessary elements and ingredients to produce a harvest. We can’t control the rain or sunshine, nor can we make the soil. All of it was created by our Heavenly Father. Every good farmer knows that the most he or she can do is sow. He or she can plant seeds, pray for the favor of God, and trust Him to do all the rest. That’s an excellent spiritual lesson for the single believer praying for a spouse.

A man that is a farmer is motivated by many things. He’s motivated by the ability to take care of himself, and most importantly, he’s motivated to make a living to care for his family. No one has to tell him to be up at the crack of dawn. He understands it’s necessary for everything to stay on schedule and for the harvest to come in on time. This is a very key piece of discernment for a woman seeking a Godly man. Some males have no interest in being a provider, but being a provider is the mark of man. He’s not going out doing just any ol’ thing for coins. A man moves with the confidence and integrity of knowing his identity. He knows that as a provider, he will obtain favor from God for doing what a man is supposed to do.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 is speaking to us about work, waiting, want, and will. Work is the revealer of our faith. No farmer would plant seeds without faith that God will take care of the rest. Many complain that there’s no harvest in their lives or that the harvest they’ve received is not the harvest they expected, but the truth will always take us back to what we’ve planted or if we’ve planted at all. We’ve received our marching orders from our Master, Jesus Christ. The harvest is never the issue. It’s about the laborers. Will we do what God requires? Or will we wait on perfect weather and optimum conditions? With God, there are no excuses. We must be attentive to do what He requires and stop waiting to move into action. We need to get busy sowing the seeds of God’s Word, and Heavenly Father will take care of the rest.

Life isn’t about what we want for ourselves. It’s about what God wants for us. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes 5:5 that none of us know the path of the wind. Jesus Christ told Nicodemus in John 3:8(NLT), “The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” We can’t explain the wind, nor do we understand the mysteries of our spiritual rebirth in Christ. We don’t know the intricate details concerning a child growing in its mother’s womb. This is all God’s activity. It’s His creation. We can’t understand it, and we don’t need to. Our responsibility is to trust Him and trust His plan.

Ecclesiastes 11:6(NLT) tells us, “Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.” This is God’s Will! Sow your seed! Sow into your family, sow into your friends, sow into yourself, and most importantly, sow into God’s Kingdom. We can’t complain about the harvest when we’ve not done our part and sowed in the way God has commanded. God’s Will is for His people to be overwhelmingly happy and fulfilled, with a supportive spouse that loves them, but we must do our parts. Our seed investment is the revealer of our faith, and the harvest we receive will show exactly what we’ve planted. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Work, Waiting, Want, and Will”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 30, 2022
The Right Heart Will Put You at the Right Place at the Right Time

Luke 19:5-6(NLT)
“5 When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” 6 Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. 7 But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled.”

Luke 19 tells us that Zacchaeus was known throughout the region for being the chief tax collector, and he had become a very successful man. He was also a very short man, and in our day, the stigma about short men is common knowledge. Over the years, some in society have viewed shorter men as less strong or powerful, and because of this, some shorter men overcompensate. They feel the need to be over achievers, and overly aggressive or domineering. We don’t know if Zacchaeus felt this way, but we do know from God’s Word that he had earned himself a high rank and was viewed as a person of authority. Zacchaeus was rich, and Jesus Christ talked about how difficult it was for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of heaven. Those with great possession and wealth make a habit of clinging to the entrapment of those things. They value wealth more than they do faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and this way of operating ends in damnation. Zacchaeus stands out because on the day he met Jesus Christ face to face, his short stature meant that he had to do quite a bit of maneuvering. He knew the encounter with Christ would change him forever, and that it would be a treasure more valuable than any in the earth. This record is a profound spiritual lesson for the believer, because it demonstrates the heart that is necessary to abide in the love, power, and faith of Jesus Christ.

Many single people are wondering why the quest to cross paths with the person that is right for their lives isn’t immediate. They want results on the double and don’t understand why this blessing doesn’t materialize on demand. Sometimes, the delay is due to how a person views the desire for marriage and how they are feeling about it in their hearts. They view it as a necessity, God views it as a reward for being faithful to His purpose. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing and perceiving the Word of God. When we break this down a little bit, we understand that faith can either be stagnant or faith can move. God’s Word is the truth. It is the definitive authority on every subject, aspect, and detail of life and living. God’s Word causes faith to come. Many single people don’t know the Word of God as well as they should, and you can’t have faith in something you don’t know or don’t believe. The knowledge of God’s Word that we do not know can cause us to walk around with a stagnant faith.

Given his short stature, Zacchaeus had a very strong determination, and it demonstrated his faith. To get through a crowd of others that were clamoring for the Master and to be able to climb a tree in hopes of getting a glimpse of Jesus Christ was evidence of how Zacchaeus had prioritized this encounter. He already had great wealth and affluence, yet these things had not fulfilled him. He knew there was more to life and would not let the opportunity to meet Jesus slip by him.

Every believer that is single and desiring marriage has to ask themselves if they feel this way about an encounter with Jesus Christ. At the time during which Zacchaeus desired to meet Christ, the new birth reality was not yet available. Zacchaeus did not have the Spirit of Christ dwelling within him, yet his desire for Christ far exceeds many of us living today.

We can’t fake the intentions of our hearts before God. He knows us too well. He knows us through and through, and He is fully aware of our motivations. This is one of the reasons that Zacchaeus received the tremendous blessing of salvation, because his heart was where it needed to be. The people in the crowd grumbled because they didn’t think Zacchaeus deserved to be in the company of the Master, but he had a heart for God, and this is all that mattered. James 2:26 gives us the definitive truth on this. It says, “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” Zacchaeus didn’t wait to be told how to demonstrate his thankfulness to God. Luke 19:8(NKJV) tells us, “Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.” This man’s deeds—his good works—demonstrated the condition of his heart. He wanted God to be pleased with his life and had done the things required to show it.

We must be clear that marital partnership isn’t necessary for ambassadorship in Christ, but commitment is. Jesus tells us in Luke 12:48 that to whom much is given, much is required. We must demonstrate our willingness to give our all to God through Jesus Christ. This is the attitude and heart-set that is rewarded. It was Zacchaeus’s heart that moved Jesus Christ to call him down from a sycamore tree. Zacchaeus had the right heart, and because he did, it put him at the right place at the right time. Let his example be your motivation, so that the same can be said of you. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Right Heart Will Put You at the Right Place at the Right Time”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 23, 2022
Showing God Your Proof

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5(NLT) tells us, “4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest. 5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” I’m very partial to these verses. They resonate with me on a personal level. I was raised on a farm in the rural south, and my grandfather was a farmer with lots of land and plenty of farm animals. I know personally that farming is hard work. My grandfather would be up before the chickens. Sometimes during the day, we’d visit him in the chicken houses and play with the baby chicks. He never stopped working, not for rain or bad weather, not for sore muscles and aching bones, and not for the trivial things that impede many of us today. I don’t even think the word ‘perfect’ was in his vocabulary. Whatever degree of perfection existed in his mind came at the price of hard work, and there were no excuses. People often say today that men like my grandfather don’t exist anymore. To some extent that might be true, but it doesn’t take away from the reality that God uses the example of a farmer to paint a very clear picture for us, and as single believers, we can’t afford to miss it.

My grandfather wasn’t the type of man that waited around for things to happen; farming in his day didn’t allow that luxury. He was up rain or shine, cold or hot. He was planting, sowing, feeding, and picking; and he knew exactly how to perform this work. The thing about a farmer is that he or she `realizes they’re not the ones in charge of the harvest. God is in charge of the harvest. Jesus Christ tells us this in Matthew 9:38. He tells us to pray to Heavenly Father who is in charge of the harvest and ask Him to send more workers into His fields. This gives us all the perspective we need. Humans can’t control the necessary elements and ingredients to produce a harvest. We can’t control the rain or sunshine, nor can we make the soil. All of it was created by our Heavenly Father. Every good farmer knows that the most he or she can do is sow. He or she can plant seeds, pray for the favor of God, and trust Him to do all the rest. That’s an excellent spiritual lesson for the single believer praying for a spouse.

A man that is a farmer is motivated by many things. He’s motivated by the ability to take care of himself, and most importantly, he’s motivated to make a living to care for his family. No one has to tell him to be up at the crack of dawn. He understands it’s necessary for everything to stay on schedule and for the harvest to come in on time. This is a very key piece of discernment for a woman seeking a Godly man. Some males have no interest in being a provider, but being a provider is the mark of a man. He’s not going out doing just any ol’ thing for coins. A man moves with the confidence and integrity of knowing his identity. He knows that as a provider, he will obtain favor from God for doing what a man is supposed to do.

Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 is speaking to us about work, waiting, want, and will. Work is the revealer of our faith. No farmer would plant seeds without faith that God will take care of the rest. Many complain that there’s no harvest in their lives or that the harvest they’ve received is not the harvest they expected, but the truth will always take us back to what we’ve planted or if we’ve planted at all. We’ve received our marching orders from our Master, Jesus Christ. The harvest is never the issue. It’s about the laborers. Will we do what God requires? Or will we wait on perfect weather and optimum conditions? With God, there are no excuses. We must be attentive to do what He requires and stop waiting to move into action. We need to get busy sowing the seeds of God’s Word, and Heavenly Father will take care of the rest.

Life isn’t about what we want for ourselves. It’s about what God wants for us. He reminds us in Ecclesiastes 5:5 that none of us know the path of the wind. Jesus Christ told Nicodemus in John 3:8(NLT), “The wind blows wherever it wants. Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” We can’t explain the wind, nor do we understand the mysteries of our spiritual rebirth in Christ. We don’t know the intricate details concerning a child growing in its mother’s womb. This is all God’s activity. It’s His creation. We can’t understand it, and we don’t need to. Our responsibility is to trust Him and trust His plan.

Ecclesiastes 11:6(NLT) tells us, “Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.” This is God’s Will! Sow your seed! Sow into your family, sow into your friends, sow into yourself, and most importantly, sow into God’s Kingdom. We can’t complain about the harvest when we’ve not done our part and sowed in the way God has commanded. God’s Will is for His people to be overwhelmingly happy and fulfilled, with a supportive spouse that loves them, but we must do our parts. Our seed investment is the revealer of our faith, and the harvest we receive will show exactly what we’ve planted. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Work, Waiting, Want, and Will”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 17, 2022
Speak the Truth About What You Want

One of my sister-friends and I were talking on the phone the other day and I noticed she didn’t sound quite like herself, so I asked her what was wrong. She didn’t hesitate to reveal what was on her mind and heart. It was as if she had been waiting for someone to give her permission to unleash her frustration. “We’ve been inseparable for thirteen-months, and there’s been no mention from him of wanting to move things closer to a commitment. I don’t want to seem desperate, like all my happiness is depending on him. And I don’t want to push him away either, but I’m ready for something more, and I just feel so stuck right now.” In thirteen months, over a year, neither of them had taken the time to discuss their expectations with one another. I was stunned by this. With all the conveniences of cell phones, texting, internet, pen and paper, and greeting cards and e-cards that express just about anything you want to say, in all that time, two grown folks didn’t communicate what they wanted from one another. Why?

James 2:26(NLT) tells us, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” Ladies and gentlemen, faith is required for anything any of us might attempt to do. It doesn’t matter what it is, how large or small, without faith, it won’t get done. We need faith to move from point A to point B, and Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 11:22 to have faith in God! Our Heavenly Father is a God of order, and His order dictates that we first find out what is available to receive from Him. Then, we can begin to move forward. Many of us get this twisted. We see what we like, pursue it, and ask God to bless what we’ve pursued. Some of us have found out the hard way that this isn’t a workable strategy.

At a fundamental level, we know that God desires us to marry should we desire it for ourselves. Take a look at Ecclesiastes 4:7-12(MSG), “7-8 I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone—no children, no family, no friends—yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, “Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?” More smoke. A bad business. 9-10 It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough! 11 Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. 12 By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst.” God schools us here on the basics of unity and what two people can accomplish when they walk together through life. He knows the benefits of partnership, that’s why He designed it. So, if we want marriage, we can have confidence that He wants it for us, more than we could ever want it for ourselves. He desires our happiness.

After we’ve developed confidence and trust that God indeed wants the best for us, we should also ask Him to show us WHO is the best for us. We shouldn’t make assumptions in this area without seeking His guidance, because that’s not faith, that’s guessing. My sista-friend assumed her boyfriend understood her desires without the both of them ever communicating about them. After an investment of over a year of her time and energy, she may have set herself up for disappointment.

You don’t have to hit someone over the head with this as soon as you start dating. In fact, it’s best to allow that conversation to evolve organically, but it shouldn’t take over a year. I can’t say why they haven’t communicated about marriage or whether both of them want it and plan to head in that direction, but both my friend and her boyfriend are really smart people. She’s been around him long enough to sense how he feels about their relationship. My guess is that she hasn’t broached the subject because she fears he’s going to say the very words she doesn’t want to hear, “I don’t want marriage.”

1John 3:18 (NLT) says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” This is good medicine and good practice. As God’s daughters, we should have an expectation that God will present us with someone He approves of, someone that will have our backs and consider it a privilege to walk with us through life. Any good father would want this for his daughter, and this is even more true of Heavenly Father. We should never have any fear about speaking the truth of God’s Word and speaking the truth about what we want. Have faith in God and have faith in what He desires for your life. Ask Him for His guidance so that you are led to the right man who will desire marriage and won’t hesitate to let you know it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Speak the Truth About What You Want”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

May 2, 2022
When You Least Expect It

One sunny summer day, my sisters’ and I had spent the afternoon shopping. Our hands were filled with bags as we were getting in our car. My oldest sister was driving and had just gotten behind the wheel. My middle sister, the most notable shopaholic among us, was finagling bags to try and open the passenger-side door. Out of nowhere, a complete stranger approached her. He offered to help my sister, and with her permission, he opened the door, and then closed it after she was seated. Our mouths were agape as we watched him very gentlemanly assist her, and then wish us all a good afternoon. We were like, “What just happened?” Although this kindness occurred quite a number of years ago, the impact of it strikes me even today.

Whenever I mention this occurrence to others, particularly women, the comments range from, “You’ll never see that happening today…” to “Hope your bags were intact.” Isn’t it something that in the face of such a simple and beautiful act of kindness, many of us suspect the worse? It’s sad, because as daughters of our Heavenly Father, it is His desire that such kindnesses are heaped on us every day of our lives. Many of us have gone through such heartbreak and disrespect from prior relationships that we no longer expect this kind of chivalry from a man, and some of us have never experienced it to any significant degree.

And of course, there are some that ask if we ever saw him again. We didn’t, but it was enough to know that such a man exists, and he’s not the only one of his kind. I’m reminded of the record in the Old Testament, when Elijah complained to God that there were so few within His people, the children of Israel, that were faithful to God’s covenant. Elijah was in deep despair over their sinful behavior and betrayal. He knew the tremendous blessings that God had given them, and they repaid God’s kindness and grace with arrogance and sin. Elijah was weary of their shenanigans, and he tried to use their disobedience as an excuse to throw his hands up and retreat. He didn’t want to be bothered with them anymore and thought they were a useless cause. Many of God’s people had forsaken Him, and Elijah could hardly stomach seeing them ruin and run down things that they should have held sacred in their hearts and minds.

Elijah complained to God in 1Kings 19:14(NLT), “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” Many of us can relate somewhat to how Elijah felt. If you’ve been traveling in the ‘single’s lane’ a while, it can feel very much like no one truly understands what you’re about. They can’t match your capacity to love and don’t have the depth to walk with you through life. You might feel like Elijah, that the bottom of the barrow is what’s left, and there’s no sea of which a treasure can be found.

God told Elijah in 1Kings 19:18 that He had preserved 7,000 of His people that had not bowed to the idol, baal, or served him. Elijah made an incorrect assumption that underestimated God’s power, intelligence, and provision. Many single believers have done the same thing. God doesn’t punish us when we think this way, He helps us, but will we allow ourselves to be helped? 2Chronicles 16:9(NLT) says, “The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” He’s searching the entire earth, looking for a certain characteristic in our hearts, and it is the humility to trust His Word and become fully committed to our relationships with Him. When we do this, we will no longer doubt His willingness or ability to bless us.

When we allow ourselves to believe that God has not provided for us in the way His Word says He has, we not only run the risk of not pleasing God, but we are injuring our faith. We stop it from performing because it isn’t mixed with our believing. The most faithful in God are often hidden, like the gentleman who came out of nowhere to inspire our faith and to be a conduit of God’s love. God knows those that belong to Him, and He knows exactly where they are. He sees what we cannot see, and we should never underestimate His power, love, and provision. When our faith is firmly anchored in His goodness, God will strengthen our hearts. Never allow negativity to cause you to underestimate what God can and will do for your life. He will exceed your expectations, and a beautiful blessing might occur when you least expect it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When You Least Expect It”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 25, 2022