Find A Christian Man

Category: Encouragement and Inspiration

Biblical encouragement for the seasons when you need strength, hope, perspective, or simply a reminder that God is still at work. Find Christ-centered inspiration to help you keep moving forward, stand firm in your faith, and face everyday life with renewed confidence in God and His Word.

Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements

Life will give you what you give it. This is the lesson many mature believing women have learned throughout their spiritual journeys in Christ. Our Lord and Master tells us in Luke 6:38(NLT), “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” He is teaching a very important and immutable law regarding the way in which Heavenly Father has setup the universe to operate. It is a law that works for the positive actions, energy, attitude, and deeds we put out there, and the negative as well. This Law of Giving and Receiving will never fail. It cannot be broken or altered. If we take a sinful or negative thought and allow it to manifest into a sinful action, it is going to have an impact on our lives, and we will not like it. Even those who do not know Jesus Christ in the pardon of their sins understand this law.

The Law of Giving and Receiving is packed with God’s unparalleled intelligence, grace, power, and goodness. It’s a law that forces us to humble ourselves, because we can’t come before God with excuses about our level of giving. We can’t convince Him that we’ve been amazingly Godly in our actions and deeds when we haven’t. Proverbs 24:12(NLT) cuts it down like this, “Don’t excuse yourself by saying, “Look, we didn’t know.” For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.”

The old nature is the nature we had before we came to Christ. It’s a nature that God calls His enemy, because it goes against His Word. It is a nature consumed with selfishness, pride, indulgence, revenge, pettiness, and all manner of darkness. Rebellion is the oil in the old nature’s engine, and many of us still have it in our hearts and minds. We don’t want to be disciplined or to do what God says if it interferes with what we like and want. And we convince ourselves that we are justified in our actions. Some think God’s forgiveness means that we can continue doing wrong and He’ll give us a pass, that there won’t be a price to pay for not lining up with His Word. Even an unlearned parent teaches their children that although bad behavior is forgiven, it has a cost. Heavenly Father has set up the entire universe to be friendly to those that obey Him, so we can avoid the consequence of wrong action through obedience to God’s Word.

A woman said to me once, “God knows my heart, He knows that I have needs and if I ask Him to forgive me, He will.” How many women have thought this to themselves? Tons, I bet. As believers, we can’t presume to tell God we have needs and then not have faith in Him to take care of them. And we certainly can’t call sin a need. He tells us in His Word that He is our Provider and Protector. Philippians 4:19(NLT), states “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” God is our Source, Sufficiency, and Supplier. So, if we go off on our own, and decide we’re going to take care of our own needs, what does this say about our faith in God? For many, therein lies the issue. They are not really trusting Heavenly Father for all things.

We must come to grips with the truth, because if we’re believing a lie, that’s not going to give us a foundation for marriage and the kind of life we want. As women of God, we feel pressure to try and balance our needs and the man’s needs, and still be Godly. We can’t start from that position because it isn’t a winning one. Jesus Christ tells us to seek GOD first. He must always be first with us. So, we must start our significant relationships, or any other thing we attempt to do, by putting God’s requirements in the top spot, and then everything else will fall in line.

We are not robots, and yes, we have needs, but God is our Creator. Sometimes what we think is a need is a temptation from the devil. We’ve given in to it so many times that now we have developed a pattern of listening to our flesh rather than listening to and honoring God. None of us have what it takes to balance our spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical needs. Only God can do this. Philippians 2:13(NLT) declares, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.”

Our responsibility is to let God be at work by being committed to do what He says in His Word. Most of us have done things our way and indulged ourselves whenever we have had opportunity. We have been rebellious in certain areas of our lives for a long while now. It’s time to make a change. Our actions and intentions should be focused on building and strengthening our relationship with the Lord. We need to be conscious about what we’re doing and only put things out there that please Heavenly Father. When this is our main intention and motivation, we will receive the bounty and abundance that are tied to living and loving through Jesus Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Balancing Your Needs with God’s Requirements”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

April 9, 2023
Being Single Again

When we enter a relationship, it’s impossible to know the outcome. We can’t see the ups and downs, and all the nuisances that either strengthen the relationship or tear it down. The Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 13:12(NLT), “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” We’re not perfect, and there are lots of things we don’t understand. We know in part, but not in whole. Through Paul, God is making it crystal clear that we need the help of the Holy Spirit in every area of life, and this is especially true when it comes to the significant person in our lives.

Ephesians 5:31-33(NLT) says, “As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” This passage tells us God’s standard. This is what Heavenly Father has said regarding the institution of marriage. The enemy tries to destroy the minds and hearts of men and women towards marriage, and we have been incredibly unconscious about what the devil is doing. God tells us that marriage between a man and woman is a portrait of the unity that is shared by Christ and his body, which is the church. Another way of looking at it is to see marriage as training for the oneness we are to have with Jesus Christ. Our bond with a spouse is symbolic of the unity we should have with Christ and with one another as his body.

We can see very clearly here that unity is extremely important to God. As single women that desire to be married, sometimes we don’t see unity in the light God intends. Some of us think only about being loved by someone and sharing intimacy. That’s all a part of it, but the most important aspect of marriage is the unity and partnership spouses share through the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s having that blessing and anointing of God in the relationship that allows it to withstand the blows the devil sends and to last and deepen with time.

As singles that have fallen deeply in love in past relationships and have suffered heartache in them, we have the unique opportunity to humble ourselves before God in a way that we didn’t before. Within us all lies a tremendous desire to be loved. God knows this, because He is the One that has given us the capacity to give and receive love, and He established marriage as a major way to keep His love flowing. When we find ourselves single again, it is an opportunity to correct some of the things we perhaps missed before. Our commitment must be to do as Jesus Christ instructs in Matthew 6:33, which is to seek God’s Kingdom first in everything we do. Especially in our significant relationship, we must ensure that God is always our top priority, and that nothing comes before Him. Jesus Christ promises that when we do this, everything else will be given to us and fall into place. Real love comes from God, and our love for Him must be cemented at the root of our hearts, minds, and souls. The love of God in Christ is the glue that holds our relationships together and makes sure they are built on solid ground. This is paramount for any woman that seeks to sustain a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, as Paul said. The Lord Jesus Christ knows what more we need to see and understand in order for us to move forward in spiritual maturity. He knows what is required in us to be spiritually strengthened to the point of helping and not harming our future marriage. Being single again allows us time to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, because he can teach us where things went left in the past so that we don’t go down those paths any longer.

The sting of heartbreak can be devastating, but we don’t have to keep repeatedly going down that road. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” We need the light of Christ guiding us to make good decisions and to learn the lessons that will strengthen our hearts. His light illuminates God’s wisdom and positions us for the person He desires to walk with us through life. Be vigilant in prayer and trust God’s truth to prepare you for the blessing and reward of your future spouse. Then, after you meet him, don’t slip back to those sinful ways. Remain firmly committed to Christ as you are led and guided by the Spirit throughout your relationship and marriage. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Being Single Again”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 26, 2023
Want What God Wants for You

For some who may not be interested in God’s standard, marriage seems to be in vogue again. There are seasons when for them, it’s on trend, and then there are seasons where living together with your significant person is the way to go. For the believer, it has always been understood that God established marriage for His purposes and has ordained it as the foundation for families. Even those who don’t know the Lord Jesus Christ and haven’t accepted him as their personal Lord and Savior are beginning to open their eyes. They are starting to see that the unwed living together arrangement is far from what a committed person deserves. A commitment without God’s blessing and approval is like a promise made by someone on their death bed. They mean to keep it, but they don’t have the hope of life, faith, and goodness to back it up.

Know your worth
Romans 8:32(NLT) tells us, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Those of us that are parents understand what it means to love and sacrifice for your children. You’ll do just about anything to secure their happiness and you only want the best for them. You never want to see them in harm’s way. Well, John 3:16(NKJV) says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” Jesus Christ is God’s only begotten Son. He is God’s greatest treasure, yet our Heavenly offered him up as a sacrifice for our sins. What does this say about how much God loves us?

God’s love is unconditional, unlimited, and the purest of all. There is no greater power than His love, and Romans 8:39 tells us there isn’t anything that can separate us from it. He treasures us more than we can fathom, and He showed us this through Jesus Christ. God paid the highest price imaginable to purchase us back from darkness. Ever Since He did this for us through Christ, He’s been showing us and has done everything possible to get us to understand our worth to Him.

God doesn’t give imperfect gifts. He only gives gifts that are good and perfect, because HE is good and perfect. Through Christ, He’s given us the capacity to love completely through Him. It’s a perfect capacity with no impurities or glitches. Freely we have received this love, and we are charged by God to freely give it out. Marriage is established by our Heavenly Father as one of the greatest ways in which we give out His love. It’s one of the chief ways that He has established for us to make the greatest ‘love’ impact during our lifetimes. Marriage co-signs His love. We are to love our spouses through God in Christ, because we’ve been empowered by Him to love and live at this high level of unity, service, faith, and love. Anything less than this means that we are accepting that which is beneath our privilege.

Marriage is the validation God has established
We desire marriage because we recognize somewhere within that it demonstrates a man’s greatest level of love towards us. We’re wired for this kind of validation. Without it, some of us feed into our worst insecurities. Without a marriage commitment, many women start to feel used and that the man is taking advantage of them. When you are willing to give your all, it’s hurtful when it isn’t reciprocated. The reason it hurts is because we understand that we’re not supposed to be treated that way. The thing is, when we settle for less than a marital commitment, we treat our own selves that way. We’re settling for less than God desires for us. So, we are treating ourselves poorly and teaching the person we love to treat us in the same manner.

Ephesians 5:28-31(NLT) says, “28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Marriage was created and established by God to be sacred and holy. It will forever be, and there’s nothing any human being can do to diminish its importance and purpose. We must come to a place where we want what God wants for us. Heavenly Father wants every woman to walk in her worth and to know the love of a man that honors it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Want What God Wants for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

March 19, 2023
Listen, Learn, and Love

“31 If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. 32 If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.”
Proverbs 15:31-32(NLT)

People say I have a way of making others feel comfortable, and it’s easy to talk to me. As thankful as I am to hear this, I have to admit that it hasn’t always been the case. Some people are not fans of open communication. Not only do they not like talking about themselves, talking about their feelings makes them very uncomfortable as well. I’m not one of those people. Our Heavenly Father has given us this gift called ‘personality’, and each of us has one. We are all different and have unique qualities. As the Father would have it, I’ve always had the gift of gab, and the fact that I’m curious about many subjects didn’t hurt. When I was younger, I felt I had a lot to say. So, I can talk your ear off, but listening attentively was another story. Listening is a skill that it takes time to learn for many of us, and it is a practice that is absolutely necessary to maintaining a good relationship.

As I have matured in God’s Word, I have learned that being a good listener is just as important as being a good communicator. Some would even say that it is even more important to listen than it is to speak. To listen is to take in what has been spoken or conveyed, and to do so in a way that the information is evaluated, valued or used. It goes without saying that we listen to people we value. If they don’t feel we’re hearing them, they may not feel as though we value them or their opinions. It should be no surprise to us that people can be very offended when we don’t give them the courtesy of being heard. So, not only is listening very important to honoring and respecting our relationship with God, it is also crucial to fostering all our other relationships as well.

The wisdom of Proverbs 20:12(NLT) says, “Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD.” This is a very plain and straightforward truth, so much so that its impact may slip by you if you’re not careful. Nothing about the way God created human beings is random. He’s given us ears to hear and eyes to see so that we can perceive and digest internally information we receive externally. He could have placed all the information we’d ever need in our minds from the very beginning. He could have designed us in such a way that we wouldn’t need to hear or see anything, but we are made in God’s image. He sees and He hears, and so do we.

God has created us to be creatures of faith. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. It is our choice whether we will listen to God’s Word or listen to the lies that come from the world. We decide what is important to us, and to a great degree we decide what we will hear and learn. Our choices about how and what we will listen to inform everything around us of our identity. If I’m a person that is interested in the truth, I will listen to what God says in His Word. If I’m a person that isn’t interested in the truth, I will not listen to God, but instead will give more attention to other sources of information. A person’s choice to listen to God affirms their identity as His child, for Jesus Christ said in John 10:27(NLT), “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

We can see that God has been masterfully strategic in giving us eyes and ears, and we must be masterfully strategic in using His gifts to bring glory and honor back to Him. In Matthew 11:15 and 13:9(NLT), as Jesus Christ taught God’s Word, he would say, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand! In this simple verse, he is commanding us not just to listen but to learn. Jesus Christ is pointing to the reality that you and I have a choice. It is our privilege and responsibility to both listen and to understand God’s Word.

The Holy Spirit that indwells us is our teacher. As we hear, read, and study God’s Word, the Holy Spirit works within us internally, causing our understanding to come together in such a way that we comprehend the Word. Hebrews 10:14-16(NLT)tells us, “For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, “This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.”” Through the Spirit, the Word is already written on our hearts, and as we read, study, and listen to it, the Holy Spirit affirms the testimony of God’s truth from within. When the Holy Spirit testifies with our spirit, truth becomes a part of us, and our faith is strengthened. We desperately need this to happen.

The importance of knowing the Holy Spirit as our Teacher, Guide, and Comforter is the most important aspect of living a successful life as a believer in Christ. It is critical to moving forward in our quest for marriage. Many single women have expected God to guide them to meet the man that they will marry, but they have had little to no interest in being guided by God’s Spirit to learn God’s Word. 2Timothy 2:15(NLT) commands us, “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.” How can we expect to receive God’s approval for partnering without first committing ourselves to 2Timothy 2:15?

To listen to and learn God’s Word is required in order to love the way He desires us to love. Marriage is the reward for doing what God says, but many of us have looked upon it as an entitlement. We must develop the habit pattern of listening and learning through the Holy Spirit so that he can guide us through God’s Word. John 16:13 tells us that the Spirit will tell us the Word, he will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ. We can’t have successful marriages and relationships without hearing from the Lord. We need to become masterful listeners, hearing God’s truth first, then we will be able to apply sensitive and attentive hearing as thoughtful spouses who are led by the truth.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Listen, Learn, and Love”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 23, 2023
Out with the Old and In with the New

Isaiah 43:19(NLT)
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”

My conversation with a dear sister in Christ led me to really draw nearer to this verse of scripture in Isaiah 43. My sister-friend recently had a breakup with her significant other, and she was feeling the sting of his absence in her life. I knew she was hurting, and I counseled her as best any good Christian friend would – with the love of Christ and with truth. I told her not to dwell in that space of hurt for too long and try not to be in touch with her ex if possible.

There is never going to be a set time on how long it takes for someone to get over a breakup. It may take a few weeks, a few months and for some, it may take much longer; it is also why the verse in Isaiah 43 resonates so much with me, and I pray it does with you. Through His prophet, God told His people, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” When He told His people this, they were in one of the worst tribulation experiences that any human have. They were in bondage. They had lost their prominence, their possessions, and their place of dwelling. Their eyes were so closed to possibility that all they could see was the gloom of their situation. God was telling them to open their eyes to His power, because His masterful plan for them was already turning things around. This is the same eye-opening hope and faith that you and I must have in God.

God lets us know without any shadow of doubt that He does a new thing in our lives daily. Not just once a month or once a year, but every single day of our lives. Even when it comes down to the sinful behavior we may commit while in our relationships, God is quick to blot them out as soon as we ask for His forgiveness. He remembers our sins no more, and He told His people in Isaiah 43:25(NLT), “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” He lets us know so lovingly that He is not like us. He doesn’t look at us through the same lens as others or even the way we look at ourselves. God sees the Christ in us and never looks on the impurities of our sinful souls. He wants us to also see ourselves in this way—as brand new!

The Apostle Paul said in Galatian 6:14-15(MSG), “For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!” When we’re brand new, we don’t give up hope because of something that went wrong in the past. Instead, we celebrate newness because we have faith that God is always up to something good, and He is always doing something new for, with, and in us. Our attitude should continually be ‘out with the old and in with the new!’

I’m sure many of us wish we could just wake up one morning and every hurtful circumstance or bad behavior would just vamoose out of our memory completely. But it doesn’t matter to God how many bad memories we have or how many wrong choices in men we’ve made, Heavenly Father’s love for us is infinitely higher than we could ever imagine. He wants us to be forever fulfilled with an abundance of love and happiness, this is what is most important to Him. He is greater than any mistake we can make, and His love will heal our hearts and cause us to be better than we ever imagined.

Sometimes we need a little help to understand that before we can embrace something new, we may need to let go of some of our old patterns and behaviors. I recently went through my closet and got rid of some clothes and shoes that I no longer needed and wasn’t wearing. It instantly hit me that this is what many single people should do in their personal lives. Get rid of what you don’t need, those emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and attitudes that do not help you increase in faith and love. Refuse to wear those things any longer! The point is to make room for something new. You just never know what God has working in the background. Don’t miss what He has for you by focusing on what has passed. Shift your attention and focus to the new that God is bringing into your life and trust Him to guide you to it.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“Out with the Old and In with the New”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 14, 2022
A Hope That Is Not Deferred

Ephesians 4:21-24(NLT) instructs, “21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.” This extraordinarily impactful passage points out two distinct dispensations and two distinct natures that are revealed to us in God’s Word. The two dispensations are the Law Administration and the Grace Administration. The two natures are the sinful or old nature which came from satan, and the new nature which Jesus Christ created. Those of us living after the resurrection of Christ are overwhelmingly blessed to be living in the Grace Administration, and we don’t have a choice about it, but where the two natures are concerned, it’s a little different. As born-again believers, we have both the old nature and the new nature, and we decide whether we’ll put on our new nature or slip back to our old sinful nature. But we should know that putting on our new nature created in Christ Jesus is the very best possible decision we can make.

Adam’s and Eve’s sin ushered in the Law administration. This is the dispensation where God revealed the Ten Commandments to help guide His people so they could remain blessed and covered by His provision and safety. God’s laws did something else that was pretty amazing. His laws revealed His nature. The laws put His brand of righteousness on full blast so that we would not only know more about His nature, but we could also recognize His goal for us. His goal for His children is to imitate His nature. Ephesians 5:1 tells us that we are to be imitators of God.

The problem with those living in Old Testament times was that sin was in their bodies. Sin was their nature and they just kept on sinning. Because of this, continual sacrifices needed to be offered to cover their sins so they could have a relationship with God, but it wasn’t the kind of relationship He wanted. Ephesians 4:22 says that the sinful nature corrupted the people and they craved sin, but Jesus Christ changed this for us. Because of his accomplishment on the cross, he created a new nature that is like God’s nature, and this nature is righteous and holy. This new nature that Christ created for us operates through God’s love. This means that God will not force us to put it on; it’s our choice.

The Spirit Renews
Ephesians 4:23 tells us to let the Spirit renew our thoughts and attitudes. You and I are to let the Spirit be at work in our minds and hearts. He helps us put on the thoughts and attitudes of Christ. As we release wrong thinking and behaviors, he helps us walk in our new nature and grow up in Christ. God commands us to read and study His Word and to spend time with Him in prayer. These practices permit the Spirit to enlighten the eyes of our understanding when it comes to God’s truth. He is not going to go inside our minds and hearts and immediately start throwing all the bad stuff out and putting the good stuff in. It’s a process. Once we make the effort to comprehend the truth, internally the Spirit gives us pathways to new thoughts and attitudes that are aligned with Christ. This is how we are transformed inside out, and it’s how we continue to spiritually grow as we walk in, with, and by the Spirit more and more each day.

We are new creations in Christ! Through him, we have the power to say ‘NO’ to our old sinful nature. The Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:6(NLT), “But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.” Someone asked me, “Why is sin so harmful.” Well, sin doesn’t come from God, it comes from satan. It is rebellion against God’s Word and Will, and it takes us away from our spiritual relationship with Him and binds us to a slave relationship with satan through our flesh. Sin makes us slaves of darkness. Jesus Christ rescued us from darkness, and as children with a new nature like God’s, we should never go back to the slavery we were in.

God tells us in Galatians 5:1(MSG), “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” Listen, choosing to deny the flesh of what it wants is arguably one of the most challenging decisions any single Christian can make, but it’s a requirement if we want to be pleasing to God. And it is a requirement if we want to enjoy all that God has for us. All God’s blessings are contained in our new nature in Christ Jesus. If we are continually reaching back to those self-sabotaging patterns of the old nature, we’re not growing spiritually mature in Christ. Instead, we are injuring our souls, and harming our relationship with God. Heavenly Father demands that we have faith in His promises. If we remain obedient to His Word, He is faithful to reward us.

Proverbs 13:12(NLT) tells us, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.” Our hopes and dreams should be held in our hearts until the Lord brings them into fruition. Our faith keeps them incubated as we continue to do what the Lord requires. Hope is deferred when we keep hoping something will happen and it doesn’t. Is there anything more disappointing than this? It is indeed heartbreaking to raise our expectations about something, and it never materializes. Heavenly Father is not keeping it a secret that sometimes people hope for things that do not come to pass. He warns us about this so that we will avoid such an outcome. The way to avoid it is to abide by the Father’s Will and Word and do what He commands.

When your hopes become your dreams regarding the person that you’re interested in, you want this individual to grow to love you and want to establish a lasting commitment. Relationships require a lot from us, and you may be willing to make this big investment, but the other person may not be. Our old nature tells us that we’re in jeopardy of losing out and that this person holds the key to our hopes and dreams. Because of this, many of us give over ourselves to the person even more. God’s Word tells us to give ourselves over completely to Him through our new nature created in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the unfailing anchor of our hopes and dreams and trusting in Him is the way to make them a reality.

God will never give up on His plan to see us live through the example of Christ. Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and shortcomings. He knows where we need to be fortified so that we make good, committed spouses who will always put Christ at the head of our marriages. If we don’t do it in other relationships, chances are that we probably won’t do it when we’re married. Now is the time to demonstrate our commitment to Godliness. Whether we’re in a relationship or outside of one, God wants us to be strong and courageous women in Christ. If we let Him take the lead and guide us on the path He has set for us, our hopes and dreams will not be deferred because we will live them every day of our lives.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Hope That Is Not Deferred”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 7, 2022
More Than What You Asked for

A close sister in Christ was very upset when she told me the man that she’s been dating over a year informed her he wanted to take a break. Immediately my heart went out to her, because I know oh too well the heartbreaking emotions she’s going through. Many of us have been blindsided this way, and you feel as though your love and the energy you put in the relationship was taken for granted. You might even begin to question your decision-making when it comes to relationships with men. Hearing the pain in my sister-friend’s voice brought back memories I’d rather forget. Personally, I told the Lord that if it means having to deal with something like this in my life, I’m completely okay with it just being Him and me. I know from experience that when we make our relationship with God our number one priority, we can avoid painful breakups with a person that was never intended for us in the first place.

Heavenly Father wants all who desire marriage to have a beautiful union that is anchored in the Lord Jesus Christ. In other words, it is God’s Will for us to have a strong marriage with a good spouse if that is what we desire. He will take care of all the details of this blessing if we trust and honor Him. We must wait upon the Lord in all things. When we don’t do this, and we try to rush things, we can become attached to someone who doesn’t have the same desire for marriage as we might, and this can be devastating. And I also know that such attachments become a significant hindrance when the desire and motivation to make God the central focus of your life isn’t a priority.

The psalmist said in Psalm 139:24(NLT), “Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” This is the heart that I always want to have for God and His Word. A person has to take some knocks in life sometimes before they will understand that without God, nothing works. We can’t do anything without Him, and He demands to be first in our lives, because He cannot ever be second in anything. He’s the One True God, Alpha and Omega. He’s all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere present. Everything we do in life must indicate we understand who He is, and everything we do must signal heaven and everything beneath it that we are humbled before our Almighty God.

Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This is more than a commandment; it is the foundation upon which anything that we desire to last in life must be built. Healing begins and newness is ushered into a person’s life when they can acknowledge they’ve not been as faithful to God as they should. Then they can take the necessary actions to remedy this, but we can’t keep doing the same things and expect a different result.

In 1Kings 3:9(NLT), it is evident that King Solomon had a heart to put God first when he asked Heavenly Father, “Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?” This pleased God very much, because the humility to seek Him and to serve righteously was apparent in Solomon. God replied in 1Kings 3:11-13(NLT), “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life!” This passage demonstrates for us the way in which God blesses when we seek Him and His righteousness first.

Our hiccups and mistakes teach us righteousness. God does not cause them, but in order for us to usher in His grace and restoration, we must do as the psalmist said and ask Him to point out anything that offends Him in our lives. It is a very common and evil plot of the devil to weaponize relationships against us. Although it can be troubling to admit to ourselves, we provide the devil the ammunition he is looking for. As we spiritually mature, we learn from experience that the devil gets in where there’s an opening. We would do well to remain prayerful and humble before the Father so He can help us through His Holy Spirit to close that opening. The thing to do is to not close our eyes to it, because if we do, we will be outsmarted.

I’ve mentioned often that I’ve heard many women ask the question “How much longer is God going to take before I meet my husband?” It’s a question that all of us can understand and sympathize with, especially for women who’ve prayed a long time and are still unmarried. It’s probably one of the most frustrating areas in a single woman’s life. But there’s no secret to this. God must be first in our hearts and minds. There is no compromising on this standard. It’s a must. So, we have to ask if we’ve put the energy, effort, and focus in our relationship with God that we’ve put in our pursuit of a relationship with a man. The right answer lies in the reality that we should always invest more in our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ than we do in any other. He tells His people in Jeremiah 29:11-14(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “11 They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the LORD.” This is true for those of us living today.

The man that my friend was dating may have faked his commitment to her and led her to believe he was all in when he wasn’t. We’ve seen how hurtful and disappointing it is when we are treated this way. When it comes to God, we must make absolutely sure that we never attempt to do this to Him. He must have first place in our lives, and when He does, we will know it, because He will give us more than what we asked for. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“More Than What You Asked For”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 24, 2022
Thrilled About Your Faith in God

Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the substance of things hoped for, and it is the evidence of things not seen. Even though you and I can’t reach out and physically touch faith, our faith is all the evidence we need. It’s the title deed to the thing we’ve prayed to receive. Even though that thing hasn’t yet materialized in the natural realm, it’s ours if we trust the Lord and move according to what He’s told us. In other words, faith is the assurance that the thing we’ve prayed to God to receive in the name of Jesus Christ is on its way. Supernaturally, we’ve received it in Christ, and Ephesians 1:3 tells us so. In this verse, God declares that we’ve been blessed with ALL spiritual blessings in heavenly places because of our union with Christ. We can see from God’s Word that faith is a very powerful spiritual reality, and God has given it to every person. Faith in Jesus Christ should inspire every single or unmarried woman to wake up each day with the hope that even though she’s single in status, it is only temporary because she has faith in God.

Faith is confidence, and confidence will require our minds and hearts to work together. God instructs us repeatedly in His Word to renew our minds and to guard our hearts. He created us in such a way that we have three parts, a human-spirit, a human-soul, and a human-body. Our human-spirit is the highest part of us because it is the part that allows us to connect to God. God is a Spirit, and we commune with Him spirit-u-ally. We must worship Him in spirit and in truth. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” The thing that we sometimes overlook is that faith requires that our souls and bodies submit to our born-again human spirit. Our human-spirit is the dwelling place of the gift of Holy Spirit. He, the Holy Spirit, lives inside our human-spirit, and the two are in continual fellowship and communion.

Romans 8:16(NLT) says, “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” The Spirit is doing a work on the inside of us. Our flesh is unclean and sinful but our human-spirit was recreated when we became born again. The born-again human-spirit is perfect, and this is the part of us that helps us receive from the Holy Spirit and walk in his power. The best thing we can do during some part of our day is shut off all the other noises, get quiet, and stay our minds on Jesus Christ. Our days can be very hectic, and we sometimes get out of sorts, but this doesn’t happen with the born-again human-spirit. It is completely submitted to the Holy Spirit, and it is our responsibility to submit our bodies to the will of our human-spirits and not to the will of the soul, which only wants to pleasure the flesh.

Exercising the faith muscle is like exercising the physical body. The mind must be in agreement with the human-will and the human-body in order to actually begin a workout and see results. Faith is a potent reality. The spirit, soul, and body must all be on board to access the power of the Holy Spirit. Faith is the Spirit’s fruit, and everything about us must be in harmony with him, the Spirit; for this is the only way to be in harmony with God’s Word and to see our faith produce results!

This is the pattern Jesus Christ left for us. He said in John 8:29(NLT) “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ never did anything that did not please the Father. Jesus walked in the Spirit every second of every day. He was in constant communion with God through the Holy Spirit. We must be as well. We desperately need the Spirit’s help to lead a successful Christian life. Just as Jesus started his days with prayer and submitting to the Holy Spirit, we must do the same thing.

James 2:26(NLT) says, “Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.” Many single or unmarried women who are desiring to be married have read this verse and believed that they’ve got to go out and start doing all kinds of new things to get a man. They sign up for dating sites, change their hair style or hair color, buy a new wardrobe, or buy a new car. They do all these things thinking this will draw the blessing they desire. They believe these things will equate to the ‘good works’ that James 2:26 is referring to. Then, when things don’t work out as they had hoped, they are perplexed and saddened, thinking nothing works.

Faith is a supernatural substance. It is spiritual, and it requires us to respond to God spiritually through the example of Christ. Romans 10:17 cosigns this by telling us that faith comes by hearing/perceiving the Word of God. We’ve got to hear God’s Word, believe it, then do what it says. This is a spiritual action that signifies we believe what the Lord has told us. Before a person believes in faith for marriage, they must believe in faith to hear God on the matter. That just makes sense.

Faith is spiritual. It belongs to God. If we expect to see the results of our faith to any degree, we must ask the Owner of it to direct us. Jesus Christ didn’t do anything without hearing from God first. As a single/unmarried person, you can’t do anything without hearing from God about how, when, and where you should move. We must never try to get ahead of the Holy Spirit. Doing so is a big mistake.

Abraham is the Father of our believing. He was fully-persuaded that God would keep and perform His promises. Abraham made a few mistakes, but his life really took off when he began to understand that he couldn’t make a move unless Heavenly Father told him to make it first. James 2:22-24(NLT) sums it up beautifully for us. Regarding Abraham, this passage tells us, “22 You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. 23 And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God. 24 So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.” This is the kind of uniformity of purpose that God demands. It comes from being attentive to His voice and listening for His directives, for He is sure to give them. Abraham heard the directive from God, then moved in faith. This is the only successful pattern for a believer.

Many of us are thrilled about the possibility of getting married, but are you equally thrilled about listening for God’s directives and actually receiving them from Him? Are you thrilled about your faith in God? You should be, because it is the most exciting journey we can imagine. Faith in God through Jesus Christ is where the action is. When we are in harmony with God’s plan for our lives, we can be confidently guided through the Holy Spirit and walk in faith. God doesn’t miss a beat, not ever! He hasn’t left one tiny fraction of a detail to chance when it comes to your life. He just needs you to trust His plan and to allow Him to guide and direct you in it. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Thrilled About Your Faith in God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 10, 2022
Jesus Christ Can Provide the Rest You Need

In Matthew 11:28-30(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “28 Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” ‘Weary and heavy burdened’ is the way many single women would describe how they’ve been feeling lately. This passage in Matthew 11:28-30 demonstrates that our Lord and Savior knows our pain, and He offers us comfort. Not having a significant person in their lives during the pandemic has impacted single believers in ways they couldn’t have anticipated, and some single women are more emotionally exhausted than they’ve ever been. They desperately desire rest and would like to feel it in the security and companionship of a compatible partner.

Our precious Lord and Savior knows what it is to be truly alone. He was abandoned by even his closest friends, but we don’t see anywhere in God’s Word where Jesus Christ allowed feelings of loneliness to keep him from pursuing God’s purpose. In truth, he said in John 8:29(NLT), “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” There were many situations where Jesus Christ could have given into feelings of sadness, loneliness, and disappointment, but he never did. He took authority over his emotions because he knew his identity; he knew who he was, and he knew his mission. He told the disciples in John 16:32(NIV), “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.” We must keep in mind that when the Savior said this, he knew the suffering of the cross was near, yet his confidence was firmly anchored in God. When it comes to our own spiritual preparation for God’s blessings, we must demonstrate Christ authority as well.

Jesus Christ is our rest and our encouragement. He makes it extremely clear that developing the same level of confidence, strength, and love in our relationship with Heavenly Father as he did is a must. There is no question that many of us have grown weary of facing life’s challenges without a partner by our sides. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, and the emotional battles that come with loneliness, but God’s grace never runs out. Just as God was with Christ, He is with you, and rest assured that He is preparing you for the blessing you seek. But the truth remains that we cannot neglect or cast aside the lessons about God’s love that every unmarried person is required to learn.

These have been without a doubt very challenging times, and the reality that you may have had to go through them without a partner should reveal to you something very important. It means that you were provided the opportunity to cling to God as never before and to increase the intimacy in your relationship with Him. We don’t know what the future holds, but we do know that it will require a greater walk of faith. It will require us to have a level of courage, trust, and strength in the Lord that sustains us come what may. Often, this fortress of spiritual depth is what God is building in our inner man so that we have what it takes to maintain the blessings He has in store.

God is perfect and His plan for our lives is perfect too. The question we have to ask ourselves is if we really appreciate what God is doing for us. He has showered us in His blessings, and we really do have to examine whether we have taken the time to appreciate how His blessings have literally shaped and molded our lives. He has brought us this far. He alone has preserved us. Because of this, our trust in His plan should be unwavering. We should have a posture of rest as He prepares us and as He prepares our future spouses as well.

1John 4:12(NLT) tells us, “No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.” Remain focused on the reality continually that God’s love must come to full bloom in your heart. It’s not about your brand of love. Only HIS love is real and true. Without the knowledge and commitment to love through Jesus Christ, we have no foundation. We have no foundation without God’s Will. We have no foundation without God’s Word. As a single person preparing to receive one of God’s treasures, you must be anchored in God’s foundation. This isn’t negotiable. It is a must. God is love, and we must abide in Him and rest in Him through Jesus Christ. Then, when it’s our season to bloom, we will manifest His love. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Jesus Christ Can Provide the Rest You Need”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 3, 2022
Taking Ten Steps Backwards Instead of Forward

Do you think it’s a good idea to contact an old boyfriend just to say hello? This is what a sister-friend did recently, and she’s starting to regret she ever made that decision. Initially, she thought it’d be okay since the two of them ended their relationship on good terms. Their last conversation had been pleasant, and she thought it wouldn’t hurt to check in. Anyone that’s ever been lonely knows that it can mess with your head sometimes. But even so, we should never let anything persuade us to try and make dead things be useful. It hardly ever works, but loneliness can trick us into throwing wisdom out the door, and we find all kinds of excuses to justify doing so. My sister-friend said to me, “Kim, God is not going to do for me what I can do for myself.” This way of thinking was the permission she gave herself to text him.

Like my friend, many single women can’t imagine continuing to wait for companionship. Most believers understand that God is delighted to bless His people. Romans 8:32(NLT) says, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?” Psalm 84:11 affirms God’s sovereignty and light. It tells us that He is our sun and shield, that He is generous in His gifts and glory, and He will not withhold any good thing from those that live righteously before Him. This is wonderful assurance and comfort to us as believers.

God wants us to have faith in Him, and to trust the Words of our Master Jesus when he taught us in Mark 10:27 that with God all things are possible. Our faith must be firmly anchored in God through Christ, and of this there can be no doubt, but Heavenly Father wants us to know the difference between standing in faith and doing things to get ahead of it.

Spiritual maturity in Christ requires that we know that our boundaries and timing are set by the Father. He appointed the time of our births, and He knows our days upon this earth. Nothing about us escapes our Heavenly Father. He knows every detail of our existences, and He never misses a beat. We are not an island to ourselves. We are not on our own. All that we are is in Christ and we can’t do anything without him. If God’s Will is our motivation in life, the proof of our heart’s motivation will be our desire to link only with those God has ordain.

Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NLT), “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ only did those things that pleased God. The logical question for you and me is “how did he know?” How did Jesus Christ know what pleased God? The answer to this question is that he read and studied God’s Word, and he was in constant prayer and communion with Heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit. Jesus came to the earth to show us how to do this. Through his life and ministry, he taught us how to cling to God and walk in fellowship with Him so that we have confidence that our moves are ones the Father would have us to make.

Jesus Christ also said in John 5:19(NLT), “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” Jesus Christ is providing a window for us to see what it looks like to move by the impetus of the Holy Spirit. If he, the only begotten Son of the Living God, said that he can’t do anything by himself, then certainly we ought to know we can’t do anything by ourselves either. Jesus did what he saw the Father doing. If He didn’t see the Father doing it, he didn’t do it. This is the level of commitment that God must see in us.

We can’t say that we have faith God will bless us with a good and Godly spouse and then not have faith that He will show us when, how, and what to do to move in alignment with what He has ordained. When it comes to something as important to our lives as a compatible and worthy partner to walk with us through life, God would not leave it to chance. My friend didn’t place her faith in the reality of this truth. After speaking with her ex-boyfriend, she felt relieved that he didn’t meet her with opposition, but he also didn’t give her any indication that he was happy that she reached out to him. She ended the conversation with him the same way she started it—taking ten steps backwards instead of moving forward. She came away feeling rejected because her ex didn’t respond to her other texts. This kind of situation can always be avoided.

Understand that Heavenly Father wants us to move from blessing to blessing, with the abundance of overflow in every area of our lives. God only wants what is best for us, and He made provision for all His children long before any of us were born. There is no doubt that we have been pressing in to receive the great desires of our hearts, but our prayers must come in alignment with what GOD has planned. He is faithful and He cannot fail. Pray that He will establish within you everything that is required for your own spiritual growth and maturity. If you allow Him, He will ready you for what He has in store, so that your gifts and abilities are sharpened. When you let HIM prosper you, everything will fall beautifully in place. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Taking Ten Steps Backward Instead of Forward”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 26, 2022