Find A Christian Man

Category: Preparation for Marriage

Marriage preparation begins long before the wedding day. Explore biblical teaching on becoming spiritually prepared for covenant through your relationship with God, prayer, healing, maturity, character, wisdom, and a growing understanding of what God designed marriage to be.

I’m Open While Under Construction

How many of us go into relationships with our eyes wide open? Most single Christians would probably say they do, but even those of us that love God and desire His Will for our lives will misjudge our preparedness. We end up realizing our eyes were not as opened as we had thought. We expect a man to love us in a certain way, and we hope that he will be as generous and thoughtful as we believe ourselves to be. It’s disappointing to discover that this isn’t the case. It hurts when the man isn’t interested in making us a priority in his life. Most of us will chalk it up to the notion that the guy simply isn’t the right fit, and this is probably a correct assessment, but even so, it’s not the only assessment we should make.

Jesus Christ gave us a razor-sharp piece of wisdom in Luke 14:28(NLT), and it is unbelievably relevant to relationships and spiritual preparation for marriage. He said, “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?” Many single people make a huge error in being lackadaisical about this verse. Relationships can fall apart before they get out of the gate because we don’t take the time to understand this amazing revelation.

Before we even begin to think about partnering, we should count the cost. Our eyes are often closed to the sacrifices, endurance, faith, dedication, patience, and commitment that a strong and quality significant relationship will require. It will exhaust us mentally and emotionally because it will require us to relinquish our hold on attitudes and behaviors that keep us stuck in selfishness, fear, and controlling habit patterns. We don’t want to give up these things, and our current way of thinking is that God is okay with us holding on to them. He’s not. Partnering will not come together for us until our hearts are loyal to God in a way that yields to Him totally. Many of us are not quite there.

Jesus Christ has set Luke 14:28 as a principle for life. It’s for everyone and every endeavor. Relationships require us to deny the “ME” and to be all about the benefit of the “WE”. Not many are willing to count the cost in this way. Our devotion to God sets the bar for all other relationships. Our commitment to Him signals the entire universe of our spiritual preparation to receive. Many of us try to fake it, but the truth is that if this kind of sold-out-ness to God isn’t in our hearts, we’ve not proven that we’re ready to receive what He has in store.

When it’s not in our hearts, God knows it, and any potential mate can sniff it out. Sometimes, the stench of our habit of trying to give God crumbs is what they smell, and it’s why they repel against us. It’s why some men are not inclined to offer us their devotion. Our mouths say we’re ready for it, but our hearts are singing a different tune. And Proverbs 4:23(NLT) affirms that the heart is what “determines the course of your life.”

Jesus Christ proclaimed in Mark 8:34-37(NLT), “34 If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. 35 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. 36 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” If we haven’t done this for Jesus, how can we pretend to know anything about the sacrifices required of us for marriage?

Marriage teaches and prepares us as the Bride of Christ. That’s what marriage is all about. We don’t have to be perfect, but we at least have to be on the trajectory to being committed to yield and surrender completely and utterly to Jesus Christ. We have to understand that this is required. If our actions do not signal an understanding of this, we’re out of pocket. We’re not where we need to be spiritually.

For instance, we think we know what we want and need in a partner. Nine times out of ten, we don’t have a clue. We have all these criteria we expect our partners to meet. He can’t be too fat, too skinny, too dark, or too light. He can’t have double chins or wear thick glasses. He can’t have kids or take the bus. He can’t make less money than me or he can’t be too needy. He must have a college degree. He must have his own place, and he must have his own car. The list goes on and on of all our must haves. We set the stage with these, and we then expect God and the man to comply.

The common mantra is “I’m God’s best and I deserve the best.” While that may be true, we’re not the ones that determine what qualifies as ‘the best’, God does this. 1Samuel 16:7(NLT) tells us, “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” Our discernment and discrimination about what we want in a partner is secondary to God’s plan for our lives. No matter what we feel we deserve, it must never overshadow the reality that God knows what we need. He’s the Leader, we’re the followers. He knows how to bless us, and He knows the best fit for our lives. He requires our total surrender to His perfection and Will in every area of our lives.

You might think, “Well, after I’ve totally surrendered this area of my life to the Lord, what happens when I meet someone that likes me? How will I know he’s the one the Lord sent? How will I know he isn’t a trick from satan?” When the Lord makes a presentation, there’s no way not to know it. One of the ways Heavenly Father solidifies that we’ve met the man He has sent is that this man will demonstrate an extraordinary kindness, and this kindness will reveal his heart towards us. It’s a “Boaz” kind of kindness, one that will be very meaningful to you. It may be overlooked by most, but it will be a gesture that only the Lord will confirm. And it won’t stop there. If God has sent him, He will continue to confirm it as the relationship develops.

Again, God is not demanding that we be perfect in this area. We’re going to make mistakes and missteps along the way. However, when our heart’s motivation is to honor God and to please Him with our whole lives, He will continue to help us in the development and growth of a relationship that He sanctions. Meeting the person doesn’t mean that our spiritual preparation for marriage has ended. It means that we’ve counted the costs and are ready to build. We will have shown God that our hearts are fully open to Him, even while we’re still under construction.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“I’m Open While Under Construction”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2024. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 3, 2024
When A Man Stands for Christ

David was a beautiful baby boy who grew to be an incredibly handsome man. In his eyes, his good looks afforded him none of the perks that most of us assume. When he looked in the mirror, he didn’t see handsome, but rejection and sometimes anger. He was continuously bullied and made fun of for being slow in his earlier school years, so his Uncle Joe taught him how to box. By the time he was 11, he had already been expelled from grade school three times for fighting. One day, when he was sitting in detention, a sweet little girl walked up to him and asked if he knew Jesus. Up to that point, he didn’t, and even though he pretended to ignore her, the love in her heart had caused his to skip a beat, and he was never the same.

It was something about that name, “Jesus”, and he played the question that the little girl had posed over and over in his young mind. Financially, things at home were tough, but there was lots of love in his family. His father passed away shortly after David was born, and his mother and grandmother raised him and his two other sisters. The other siblings were smart as a whip, and even though David wasn’t ‘book smart’ like them, he could take apart anything and put it back together better than it was.

When his Uncle Joe went to prison, it tore David up inside. His mother could hardly work a week without getting a call from David’s school about all the fights he was getting into. Shortly after his 12^th birthday, the school recommended he receive a battery of tests, including a cognitive assessment for ADHD. He didn’t quite understand what was happening at the time, but he saw the look on his mother’s and grandmother’s faces, and it scared him. He felt as if people outside his family were looking for a way to dispose of him the way they had done with his Uncle Joe.

The night before he was to be tested, David panicked. He felt the burden of taking care of his family without his Uncle Joe and was terrified of being sent away. He laid awake in bed running all kinds of terrible scenarios in his mind, and he felt as if he were about to explode, but then something happened. Like oil being poured all over his body, a peace blanketed his entire being. He heard the words, “I have a plan for you, David, and everything is going to be alright.”

The tests proved there were no cognitive issues with David and that he was highly sensitive and intuitive. This was partly because he was deaf in one ear and had never been properly diagnosed. When he returned home, he was changed. A door had been opened and he had a kind of confidence he had never known. He was given a special hearing aid, his grades improved, and he grew into a wonderfully empathetic and dutiful young man.

His freshman year of college, after his 19^th birthday, David gave his life to the Lord, and with a few of his other Christian friends, he took a vow of celibacy. He was extremely thankful for what God had done in his life, and the words the Spirit spoke to him when he was 12-years old were branded on his heart. He knows that God has a plan for his life, and he is determined to marry and have a family with a woman whose commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ mirrors his own. Almost seven years later, he had no idea how challenging it would be to find the right woman.

When he met Yasmine, there was an instant connection and they seem to share a love of Christ, but Yasmine has not taken a vow of celibacy. The first time she tempted him to stumble, he told her, “Yasmine, I value my body temple as much as you should value yours.” She was offended and a little ashamed, but it would not be the last time they crossed that bridge. After a few months of seeing the strength of David’s commitment, Yasmine decided celibacy wasn’t for her and thought it was best if they parted as friends.

Whether or not you believe it, there is a match for every person that exists. There’s someone in the world today that in some way equals your strengths, weaknesses, and commitment to God. In many ways, David is an absolute dream. He’s not perfect, but he’s committed to receive what God has planned for him. He believes the discipline and commitment that he has chosen to demonstrate at this time in his life will soon pay off in a great way; he’s very confident in this.

Being in a relationship outside of marriage can present many challenges, this is why it’s so important to have a strong, made up mind about knowing how and when to say no if ever you’re in a situation that’s tempting. As women, we rarely think of a man standing for Christ the way David is. “Something must be wrong with him in that area.” We think. This shows us how far away from God’s standard we have moved. A simple but meaty truth is that our eyes will not be able to land on a person like David unless we’re a match. That may be an ‘ooch!’ for some, but it is very true.

1 Corinthians 6:18(NLT), tells us, “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” God makes it very plain that sexual intimacy with anyone that isn’t your spouse is a sin. He tells us to run from it because it harms us and most severely, it harms our relationship with Him. When we commit this sin, we sin against our own bodies, which means our own bodies will betray us. Like many of us, David has witnessed in the lives of his sisters and friends what happens to us spiritually when sex is taken outside the boundaries of God’s love. Often, in the relationship that we hoped would last, something is lost, and it cannot be regained.

2Chronicles 16:9 tells us that the Lord searches the entire earth looking to strengthen those who have a heart that is fully committed to Him. Oh, how we’ve underestimated this verse. God is the One who has all power. He’s the One who blesses, not us. He puts the man and woman together. He strategically positions them so that they are in the right place at the right time. The magnet that draws them is their passion for Heavenly Father. We must be passionate about pleasing God. When we are, our faith is activated in a remarkable way.

Sexual sin is the culprit of a kind of cynicism and darkness that has wrecked the blessed potential for significant relationships in the lives of many believers. The sweet fragrance of repentance and sacrifice does not emanate from them. It does not float up to heaven and out to others because they continue to allow the trap of sexual sin to hold their faith captive. Because so many are blinded by lust, most women can’t even imagine that such a man as David exists, that’s he’s living in the earth today and waiting for a woman who matches his commitment to Christ. Sadly, they can’t imagine it because they themselves will not be equal to it.

We can’t be involved in the lust of this world because we represent Christ and the virtue of God should flow from our pores. 1Corinthians 6:20(NLT) states, “for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” God paid the price of our sin with the life of our beloved Savior’s sacrifice on the cross, and in gratitude for all Heavenly Father has done, we should want to keep ourselves spiritually pure before Him. This is David’s heart, and it should be ours as well. God has visions of radiance for our body temples. He has visions of grandeur for them, because they were created to house His divine glory. By this we should realize that changing the way we think, behave, and treat our bodies makes a statement for all eternity. It will either open doors of beautiful possibilities or keep them closed. It’s all up to us. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When A Man Stands for Christ”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 13, 2023
Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God

1Kings 11:4(NLT)
“In Solomon’s old age, they turned his heart to worship other gods instead of being completely faithful to the LORD his God, as his father, David, had been.”

When he was a child, Solomon, the son of David, was destined to be the king of Israel. It was an enormous task for someone so young, and he had the good sense as a child to ask our Heavenly Father for wisdom and understanding. 1Kings 3:9-10(NLT) tells us he prayed, “9 Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours? 10 The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom. 11 So God replied, “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—12 I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have!”

King Solomon was the wisest and wealthiest king to ever live, but like all of us, he had his issues; he loved women. The bible tells us that he had over 700 wives. His love of women was his weakness, and ultimately, it was his downfall, even after all the glorious things that God had done for him. Solomon did what God told the men of that time not to do; he married Moabite and Hittite women. 1Kings 11: 2(NLT) says, “The LORD had clearly instructed the people of Israel, ‘You must not marry them, because they will turn your hearts to their gods.’ Yet Solomon insisted on loving them anyway.” Solomon’s actions are like ours sometimes. God has told us how to keep ourselves in His peace and blessings, but we don’t follow what He says.

1Peter 1:14(NLT) tells us, “So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.” Before we became saved, and for some of us even after we accepted Christ, we approached relationships in a sinful way. We allowed the man to be number one in our lives and we did not prioritize our relationship with God in the number one spot. The thing that slips by many single women that are desiring marriage is the fact that the old way of approaching and operating in relationships is still in their hearts. They are carrying the old ways with them everywhere they go, even though now they know better.

Solomon witnessed the way that his father, King David, followed and loved God, but he still insisted on doing the thing that didn’t honor his relationship with our Heavenly Father. Like Solomon, some of us allow our weakness to get the best of us as well. Then, when we end up in heartbreak or worse, we refuse to connect the dots between our actions and the consequences we’re facing. Because of this, we do not learn to grow in faith and obedience and will more than likely continue making choices and decisions that bring us more pain. This isn’t what God wants for us.

Our desire for a blessed marriage that is ordained by our Heavenly Father requires that we have the kind of heart for Him that proves He is first in our lives. Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NIV), “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” It isn’t enough to simply say we’re putting God first. He knows exactly what we’re treasuring most. He can see whether we’re truly loving Him as we should because He can see what is in our hearts. He said in Jeremiah 17:11(NLT), “But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.”

Nothing in life can come before God. We usually think of bowing to a statute as idol worship, but it doesn’t have to be as literal as that. Idolatry is the practice of placing anything before the honor, worship, and praise we should give to our Heavenly Father. Whether it’s too much time on social media, sports, your boyfriend, dream job, or even your family; while none of these things are wrong, they can become a slippery slope if we fail to keep them in their proper place.

Rebellion is a sinful desire to operate independent of what God says. It’s not seeking Him but doing our own thing; just like the devil did when he wanted to be independent of God and not submit to His Creator anymore. Many of us become consumed and totally wrapped up in things and people, especially when it pertains to significant relationships. That’s what the devil wants. It’s one of his tricks to get us to take our eyes off God, so that we will not place God in His rightful place of authority and sovereignty. If the devil gets you to take your eyes off God, then you might begin to think that you don’t need Him or need to follow His instruction. This is what the slippery slope of a mindset and heart of rebellion will do to us.

We can’t let that happen. We desperately need the Lord, and we need to be doing the things that show Him we’re seeking and placing Him first in our lives. Even though you may not understand the Word as well as you would like, still read and study it. The Holy Spirit is our Teacher, and he lives inside us. He will help us to comprehend the Word. So, we must pray often and read God’s Word, because this is the very least we can do to show Him how important He is to our lives. Don’t allow yourself to be tricked out of your relationship with our Heavenly Father. You must place more focus, energy, and time on your relationship with Him than you do on any other person or thing. This is what shows all of heaven and everything beneath it that you are focused on God and spiritually ready for all He has in store for your life.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Slip, Stay Focused on God”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 29, 2023
The Gift God Has for You

1John 4:7-8 (NIV)
“7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

When God’s love is anchored within us, we have an abundant resource to draw from. This makes all the difference in all our relationships, but especially so in our significant relationships with men. The Big Story of Life is God’s love. The introduction is that God loves us and wants to be with us. The main storyline is that He has made a way for this to happen through Jesus Christ, who is the central character and subject of life from the beginning to the end. It is important we recognize that nothing moves us forward with any great degree without beginning every action with the knowledge of God’s love and the motivation to move in, with, by, and through it.

Adam and Eve lost access to God. They showed us the tragedy that occurs when we choose something over our love for our Heavenly Father. They were disconnected from Him and His holiness when they sinned against His Word. This was catastrophic for humanity on every level, but God did not leave us in this trouble state. He had a plan of redemption long before Adam and Eve came on the scene, and through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, He saved us from sin and death. God is our Redeemer, Rescuer, Refuge, and Rewarder. He laid it all on the line to save us, and He did this because He wants to be with us, and He wants us to love through Him.

Jesus Christ has given us direct access to our Heavenly Father. Jesus died for the sins of the world, and God accepted his death on the cross as a sacrifice for all our sin. Jesus was innocent, and he died the most agonizing, brutal, and horrific death in order to restore our friendship with God. Romans 5:10-11(NLT) says, “10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.” This is an amazing passage! It ties together our rejoicing over our redemption to the kind of gratitude we should have in our relationship with God. This joy we should have over our friendship with God should shape and mold our days before they even begin.

The reality we’re now facing is that many single women are not living with joy, and they are not rejoicing about what it means to be friends with God. They are not intentional about their gratitude for the price God paid through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and in their hearts, there’s little trace of the depth, width, and breadth of love we should have for our Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ set us free from sin and shame. He died in our place, and paid the penalty required for all our wrongdoing, but many of our actions convey we lack both the enthusiasm and thankfulness for all God has done. Our prayers must shift so that this, more than any other thing, is the priority in our prayer-lives.

Through Jesus Christ, God has placed His Spirit within us. In the Old Testament, in Ezekiel 36:26(NLT), God prophesied through His prophet, “And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Because of the finished work of Jesus Christ, this is the kind of heart that we can have. By becoming born-again and accepting the gift of salvation that Christ offers, we receive God’s Spirit, the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ said in John 16:13 that the Spirit will guide us into all truth. He will tell us what he hears from Jesus Christ, and he will tell us about the future. Philippians 2:13 declares that the Spirit will work in us and give us the desire to do what pleases God.

So, we don’t have any excuses. God has made it possible for us to have the kind of heart He is looking for. He has given us the capacity to love Him in a way that delights Him, but as women, some of us are not interested in doing this. Jesus Christ is the gift that God has given to the world, and a whole life’s worth of thank-yous wouldn’t equal the gratitude we should express. We are just way too concerned with delighting in a man, and we’ve placed delighting in God in the back seat. That won’t do. We must pray that the Spirit will help us to change this.

The Spirit is the One who does all the Work, and God simply commands us to let him. We do this through prayer, meditation, and studying God’s Word. Our prayers should be more about our relationship with God than any other thing. We should desire Him so supremely that our entire being is a love song dedicated to His glory.

The gift that God has for us is received only when we acknowledge that the greatest gift we could receive has already been given. Everything we receive after salvation is a reward from honoring God with gratitude and obedience for the sacrifice of Christ. The love that was demonstrated towards us by God must be deep in our hearts. It must create a well in us that is overflowing to such a degree that our spouses are drenched in it. We must understand that we cannot be a wife ordained by God without understanding that the sacrifice Christ made is pure love. To be prepared for marriage, we must be a different kind of woman. We must understand that love indeed means sacrifice, and only then can we love our husbands with the same commitment and depth of love that Christ has for us. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Gift God Has for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 22, 2023
Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom

You’ve been waiting for this moment for most of your adult life, and now it’s here. The man you met thirteen months ago proposed and you couldn’t be happier. Whether you’ve never been married, or you’re divorced or widowed, getting married is always going to be a life changing experience. Finally arriving at the place where you can honestly say the wait is over is a really big deal and a sigh of relief. That’s not to say things are perfect. If you’ve been dating the same person a while, you’ve probably seen a lot of things in him that you really love and a few things that could use some work. You understand that neither you or your future spouse is perfect, but you’ve agreed to be committed to one another and help each other grow. Single women who have yet to get to that point should know that there’s a profound spiritual element that causes all this to come together and move a woman from dating to marriage, and that element is God’s wisdom.

Proverbs 2:6 tells us that it is the Lord who gives wisdom, and knowledge and understanding come from His mouth. Many singles haven’t fully believed this and have sought many other sources for what can only come from God. He tells us in Proverbs 4:7(NKJV) that “Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” A principal thing is a thing that is highest on the list of importance. This means that wisdom ranks very high in God’s Book. He wants us to obtain knowledge from His Word, and He also wants us to understand the knowledge we’ve acquired. This is what keeps us growing and flourishing in our Christian lives.

Navigate before you date
Wisdom is the principal thing that allows us to navigate dating from a position of faith even before we begin to date. We forget sometimes that we are spiritual beings with a soul having an earth experience. As spiritual beings, we are continually sending out messages through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions. We are also constantly responding to the messages that others around us send as well. God tells us in His Word that all this sending and responding better add up to His love, because if it doesn’t, we’re sending and responding to the wrong messages, and we’ll miss what He has in store. This is one of the reasons we find ourselves unable to get out of the gate when it comes to marriage. We’re not yet sending a strong and right message of God’s love.

To navigate before you date, you must have a commitment to stand on the foundation of God’s Word no matter who you meet and how much he likes you and you like him. This isn’t just about sexual sin. It’s also about understanding your position and facing the reality that its up to you to help move yourself and your relationship from point A to point B. You must span that distance through your faith in God, and if you are disobeying Him, you are not walking in wisdom or faith, and He can’t bless that. If you’re planning to sin two weeks after you meet the guy, you’ve lost the treasure before it even has time to develop and grow.

Be in agreement with God’s plan
Two people that are ordained by God to walk together in life are in each other’s destinies. God has already taken care of this. They are magnetized to each other, but faith is the thing that moves them closer to one another. When they are checked-in to destiny, and they are sending and responding in a way that resonates God’s love toward one another, all things will work together for their supreme benefit. This is the way all good things come together. Amos 3:3(NKJV) asks “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” This points to an agreement that is more than physical or mental. It’s a spiritual agreement, and we cannot get to that point unless our chief concern in life is loving God through our emotions, thoughts, actions, conversations, and confessions.

To come into agreement with God’s plan, all parts of you must be on board with His love. Romans 12:1(NLT) affirms this. It says, “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.” God purchased us with a very high price, the price of the life of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. He wants all of you, your spirit, soul, and body, to be presented to Him as a living sacrifice. God has a purpose for your life, and in order for it to unfold, you must be in total agreement with Him through what you do, think, feel, and say.

The psalmist said in Psalm 138:8(NKJV), “The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;” In other words, God is going to fulfill His purpose for our lives. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for us. Again, our responsibility as believers is to align ourselves with His plan and purpose. When we do this, amazing things will begin to happen.

Pray to receive God’s wisdom and understanding
Dating is not the first step towards marriage, becoming spiritually prepared for it is. Your mind and heart must be sold-out for God before you think about loving, supporting, and ministering to another person’s heart and life. Proverbs 16:9(NLT) tells us, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” It is irrational and illogical to think that we can line up our faith with God’s plan and purpose for our lives when we don’t even know what God’s plan and purpose of our lives is. We need to spend quality time in prayer and pray to receive revelation and guidance through His indwelling Holy Spirit, because Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13 that the Spirit is the One that will guide us into all truth. You must humble yourself and surrender to God in every aspect of living, dating, and marriage.

1Corinthians 14:33 tells us that God is not the author of confusion and chaos, but of peace and order. He is organized beyond anything we can imagine. He knows the end at the beginning and beginning at the end. There’s nothing about anything that you and I could ever do in our lives that would surprise Him. He knows the plan He has for us, and His purpose and the mission He has set for our lives is for us to walk in His love to the greatest extent possible. God wants to look at your heart and see Christ, and that is His priority for you.

God has given us marriage to teach us how to love one another and to teach us the depth, breadth, and width of His love for us. When Jesus Christ returns, there will be no need for marriage, so we must pray and be ever so careful that we don’t get out of order and begin to think that marriage is more than what God designed it to be. Our Heavenly Father requires that we put and seek Him first in all things. No matter how long we live, no matter what we do, and no matter who we are, it will all boil down to how well we love God. This determines our spiritual preparedness to navigate dating with God’s wisdom and to take our relationship with the right person from dating to marriage ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Navigating Dating with God’s Wisdom”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 8, 2023
A Friendship that Leads to Marriage

1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT)
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”

Imagine being friends with a man that you’re interested in, but you don’t think he’s interested in you in the same way. How do you handle this? Do you stop being in his company? Do you conclude definitively that there’s no possibility for something more? What if he meets someone else, can the two of you still remain friends? This can be very tricky and as women of faith, we must be careful and use discernment. 1Thessalonians 5:11 tells us that part of our responsibility to Christ is to build each other up. So, we should be very careful not to offend or harm our friend’s relationship with God by causing a mistake that could have been avoided.

I had a boss once that said to me that he never allows anyone to ride in his vehicle outside of his family. When I asked him why, he said it eliminates confusion and cuts down on unnecessary explaining when it pertains to the opposite sex. I completely understood his logic. It speaks to the culture and climate we’re currently living in. Taking a friendship outside its boundaries can create confusion and even more issues, especially in the workplace. When the affection is one-sided, jealousy, obsession, and anger can rear their ugly heads and put the other person in a very compromising position. These are real circumstances happening to real people.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to have fulfilling lives, and friendships add so much flavor and fulfillment to our existences. However, when it comes to relationships between men and women, we should walk in wisdom. Proverbs 3:13-15(NLT) tells us, “13 Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. 14 For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. 15 Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Platonic relationships between men and women are certainly possible, and many such relationships are common, but wisdom dictates that there must be some established boundaries that both people are committed to uphold.

Proverbs 27:17 tells us that iron sharpens iron. God teaches in His word that friends should help to keep each other sharp in God’s wisdom. They should help and not hinder each other spiritually. So, it is incumbent on all of us to have motives that are pleasing to God in our friendships with men, and to guard our hearts so that we do not begin to develop romantic feelings. Some might say, “You can’t help who you love.” That’s a very romantic sentiment, but sincerity is no guarantee for truth.

God is our Creator. No other deserves our greatest level of love more than He does. Jesus Christ commands us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” Yet, most do not love God in this way. They don’t love Him in this way because they consciously choose not to love Him. Jesus Christ gave us this commandment because the truth is that love is a choice. We choose who we will love, and we choose who we will not love. We have free-will, and we are in charge of our emotions; our emotions should not be in charge of us.

2Timothy 1:7(NLT) says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” We were not created to be emotionally out of control. God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline, and we must have faith that we can operate in our friendships with men and women from a place of strength, Godly love, and self-control.

Amos 3:3 (NLT) asks, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” This is really key when it comes to a friendship that might lead to marriage. As a woman, you must do some self-examination to keep your intentions aligned with God’s Will. We must be clear that God sends the right person for us, and He will let us know who that person is. So, when we develop feelings for a friend, the first thing is not to pray that God will make this man return your affection. God never oversteps our free-will. He does not force us to love Him, and He will not force someone to love us.

Some friendships with men do move from the platonic stage to ultimately marriage, but we need to always hear from God on this matter. If a male friend hasn’t given you any indication that you are anything more than a friend, keep strict to those boundaries. You will be in a much better position to navigate with peace and ease if you continue to be Godly and focus on pleasing our Heavenly Father. It’s a blessing to have good platonic male friends, and to also be a blessing in those relationships by maintaining boundaries and walking by the example of Christ. Understand that you can do this if you walk in wisdom. Only want what God has for you, and have faith that what is for you, you will not miss. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Friendship that Leads to Marriage”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

August 1, 2023
From the Beginning

Luke 12:48 (NLT)
“But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return’ and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.”

It’s no secret that there are many believers that have been praying to cross paths with their future spouses. Some are exasperated because they believe they’re no closer to finding this person than they were when they first prayed about it. Saved or not, many people blame God when things do not work out for them. They think that God is withholding the blessings they desire most, but nothing could be further from the truth. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t withhold blessings from His children. So, if marriage is something we desire, we’d do ourselves the greatest favor if we strike this notion from our minds, and free up that mental space for our faith to grow.

Genesis 1:28 makes it clear that God has placed the authority and dominion for successful living into the hands of human beings. Adam and Eve lost this authority and dominion when they bowed to satan, but God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to restore it. Our Master Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that satan came to the earth to steal, kill, and destroy our lives. If we continue to perpetuate the disobedience against God as Adam and Eve did, we will remain under the devil’s realm of darkness. But if we accept the Lord Jesus Christ and all that God accomplished through him, we can have a life that is more than abundant.

Most of us would be satisfied with just living abundantly, but Ephesians 3:20(NKJV) tells us, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” Our Heavenly Father deals in the “exceedingly abundantly”. This is the overflowing reality that He has made available to us in life. The problem is that most of us do not believe this, and we are not praying to our Heavenly Father to receive a revelation of all that Christ accomplished for us. Whether we know it or not, having a clear understanding about God’s nature, His incredible love for us, and our identity in Christ is our first responsibility to the faith. God requires this from us, and it should be our priority above any other thing.

In Luke 12:48, Jesus Christ is teaching about responsibility and accountability. He is motivating believers to understand the significance of our actions, because our choices and decisions in life have molded and shaped the reality we are facing today. We want to blame God for our predicaments and say that He has not seen fit to bless us, but the truth is that we each are blessed immeasurably more than we can imagine. So, the question isn’t a matter of whether we are blessed, it’s a matter that is solely based on how we have used what God has given.

He has blessed us in such a way that we can operate out of His overflow. 2Corinthians 9:8(NLT) tells us, “And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” The purpose of God’s blessing is never to hoard it for ourselves, but to generously share it with others. All of this is ordained by Him for the uplifting of His Kingdom and glory, and the accountability for not doing this in the way that God requires must be acknowledged, accepted, and repented.

God set up the foundation of this world through His brilliance, power, and love. From the very beginning, He abundantly poured into our lives, and He commands us to live a life of giving and loving others through His love. This is our responsibility, and it will never be altered. We cannot ignore this aspect of God’s plan.

Accountability and responsibility to God demands us to look at how we honor God’s goodness and kindness. We must look at how we’ve obeyed His Word and whether we’ve yielded our entire lives to Him. In truth, many of us have yielded our lives to the man, and by giving our bodies to men outside the boundaries of marriage, we have proven our willingness to choose the man over God.

We must show our humility to honor God’s requirement. He is not withholding a loving spouse from anyone. He has empowered us to reign in life through the example of Jesus Christ. He’s given us the power to make choices and decisions that will magnetize us to His blessings, but these blessings are contained in Jesus Christ. This means that the degree to which we live abundantly is in direct proportion to the degree to which we live God’s Word and live according to the example of Jesus Christ.

From the beginning, God gave us free-will choice. From the beginning, He expressed His overwhelming love for us, and from the beginning, He empowered us to have success in our lives. He has made it very plain to us in Luke 12:48 that “When someone has been given much, much will be required in return’ and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” God has given us liberty in Christ, and He’s given us a purpose within His divine plan. Focus your every effort on laying up treasures that can be stored in heaven. Pray for greater revelation regarding your call and be more committed to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. When the Father sees our commitment to honor Him in this way, He will be pleased, and we will witness the exceedingly abundantly in every aspect of our lives. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“From the Beginning”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 18, 2023
Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There

Jesus Christ has shown us that love requires sacrifice. He left his Father’s throne of immeasurable glory and splendor to come to earth. He came on a mission from God to save humankind. Our King was born in a manger, and this demonstrates his incredible humility. At any moment during his time on earth, he could have summoned a legion of angels at his side. He said in Matthew 26:53(NIV), “Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” 12 legions is 72,000 angels. They would have been by his side in less time than a blink of an eye, but he didn’t summon them. He knew that sacrificing his life was his mission and endured the cross because of his overwhelming love for every person. Jesus Christ revealed the perfect and pure love of God, who sacrificed His one and only begotten Son for us all.

Jesus Christ has shown us the way to live through God’s love. His example is the one we must follow because he’s given us the standard of love that pleases God. It’s God’s standard of love, and it causes us to live according to God’s purpose. As women of faith, sometimes we underestimate God’s allegiance to His standards, and we have a mindset of accepting less than what God wants to give us. This is especially true in our desire for a real and lasting significant relationship.

God commands in Ephesians 5:25(NLT), “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” This is God’s standard for the way a man should love his wife. This level of devotion sets the kind of loyalty and respect that all men should have for all women. It also sets the bar for the expectation of any woman praying to be a wife. As a woman, you can’t build this kind of capacity in a man. He should have it when you meet him.

I have a friend that was very sick with the flu. She sounded as bad as she was feeling. It was apparent she was having a rough time with it, and I was surprised to hear that she was handling things on her own. She rekindled a relationship with a male friend that she dated a while ago. Things were going well for the last few months, but her bout with the flu brought out something that was apparent to everyone but her. When I asked, she told me that her boyfriend knew how ill she was, but he didn’t come by, not even once. She said to me, “He did offer to bring me some soup, but I didn’t want to be a burden, so I told him not to bother.”

There’s a fundamental truth that every woman must know; if you accept it, that is all you will get. Some of us expect that our love will make a man gain a greater capacity to love overnight. It simply isn’t true. Only the love of God can transform a person, and to love God is to do what He says. 1John 2:5(NLT) tells us, “But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him.” As women of faith, this must be the foundation of all that we do.

God expects us to expand in Christ with each passing day. This means that we are loving others greater through him. In other words, our capacity to love and walk with power increases as we grow in Christ. This is God’s standard, and it is one in which we will never have to make excuses for a man that isn’t loving us the way he should. If we make a place in our hearts for a man that isn’t giving us the love we deserve—the love we are capable and willing to give him, then we’re throwing out the welcome mat for heartache and pain. When it comes to real love, don’t accept a little dab here and a little dab there. Christ made a way for us to live through his love, and this is the way we should choose.

Fully knowing and appreciating the sacrifice of Christ gives us the lens by which we can love and be loved. Loving and living through Jesus Christ will give us the wisdom to know that a man may not have a fancy job title or big bank account; what matters is that he has a big heart and sees loving you as one of the greatest blessings of his life. God says you deserve this. You should believe it, and never accept less. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Don’t Accept A Little Dab Here and There”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 11, 2023
Romance Cannot Replace the Truth

Walking almost a mile in the snow, Mel’s feet were frozen stiff, and she thought to herself more than once, “I can’t feel my toes anymore!” She scolded herself for wearing her cute boots instead of the ones Michael had recommended for snowy weather. He was trekking almost twenty feet ahead of her, but Mel was too tired and cold to be angry that Michael had left her behind. He, on the other hand, was still fuming and giving her a serious silent treatment. The airport was small, and there wasn’t much in the way of businesses nearby, that’s why Michael had stressed the need to double-check their reservations. Not a fan of cold weather, Mel wasn’t gung ho about the trip in the first place, but she honestly thought she had made the reservations. As it turned out, she didn’t, and they were stranded at the airport on the busiest day of the year.

Michael’s favorite cousin was getting married in a small town in upstate New York, and because he refused to wait any longer, they ended up walking to the nearest car rental office. The entire way, Michael didn’t say a word to her, not even when they finally got a rental and made it to the hotel. He warmed up and spoke two or three words to her once they were settled in a bit, but all Mel could think about was that long, cold mile. Michael didn’t turn his head once to see if she was okay, and it broke her heart.

They’d been together a little over six months. Things were progressing beautifully, and Mel had begun to imagine what being ‘Mrs. Melody Bryant’ would be like. Michael is a firefighter. He’s very attractive, and up until their trip together, he had totally swept Mel off her feet. They met after his move from Maryland to Atlanta, and they both threw out the welcome mat and made space for each other to comfortably fit into their individual lives. They wanted to be open to each other because they wanted to be together. Michael had met Mel’s mother, stepfather, and two sisters, and the family was ecstatic that they were a couple.

Their faces were all Mel thought about as she contemplated how to handle the incredible hurt and disappointment she was now feeling. On so many occasions, Michael’s kindness had left her speechless, but he wasn’t who she thought he was, and nothing would ever be the same. She left before his cousin’s wedding, and for the next few weeks, she did everything she could to disconnect from Michael.

Jesus Christ teaches us in John 10:10(ESV), “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Jesus Christ wants us to know that we have an enemy, and he wants to steal and destroy our blessings, and he wants to kill and destroy us. This may sound ominous and scary to some, but regardless of how it sounds, it is the truth. We must be spiritually prepared to stand back to back with our partner, both man and woman must be fully equipped with the spiritual armor God provides. It’s not a game, it’s serious business. We have a spiritual enemy, and human weapons will not cut it when it comes to battling evil.

We have such difficulty in relationships because when we get into them, many of us fail to build them on a foundation of God’s strength and power. We do not place Jesus Christ in his rightful position as the head of all our unions, and this is a big mistake. Ephesians 1:22(NLT) says, “God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church.” There is no equal in all eternity to the power and authority that God has given His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We desperately need this power in our relationships. And to be clear, we need this power to recognize the person God sends.

The disappointment and pain we experience when a relationship is derailed can send us into emotional shock. We don’t know how to handle it because our faith in God isn’t where it needs to be. Someone has done something to undermine our confidence and greatly diminish our clarity. We no longer have what we thought we did, and this can be emotionally overwhelming.

Many women have been in Mel’s position and handled the situation quite differently. Some of them might have made excuses for Michael’s behavior and said, “It’s been a long day, and he’s just tired and upset. He’ll get over it.” Others would have given Michael a piece of their minds. They would have met his attitude with an even saucier one. With Mel, there was something deeper going on. Her biological father was an alcoholic whose angry tirades made their lives horrible when she was a child. She remembered the look on his face when he was about to blow, and Michael’s anger gave her a glimpse of that.

After weeks of him trying to connect with her, Mel finally agreed to meet Michael. It was on a Saturday afternoon, and she arrived at the coffee shop intentionally early, so she’d have an opportunity to settle herself before he arrived. Mel was more nervous and emotional than she could remember, and the flipflopping in her belly had been non-stop for the last two days. Michael, the sweetest man she thought she had ever known had revealed a mean streak. It was biting and vengeful, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was only the tip of an iceberg. She dreaded the thought of discovering that he had only been pretending over the last several months and that allowing him in her life had been a big mistake.

Significant relationships have a tremendous impact on our lives. The wrong person can cause more damage than we can imagine, and they can be used to undermine our relationship with God. Causing a wedge between us and our faith in God is the enemy’s aim, and if we allow an opening, he will weaponize the people we love and use them against us. The best thing that we can do for ourselves is to not allow this opening for enemy attack. We can be preemptive by letting the Spirit guide us according to God’s Will. Jesus Christ tells us in John 16:13(NLT), “When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” As women, we must understand with crystal clarity that romance cannot replace the truth. With any significant relationship, we must pray continually for wisdom and good judgement, and when the Spirit reveals the truth, we must have the courage to accept it.

Sometimes, we need to be alone with God and ourselves only, and we have to do this for a while in order to come to a place of clarity, and it’s a kind of clarity that only the Holy Spirit can give. This is the gift Mel gave to herself. It was one of the most challenging things she had ever done, because she wanted Michael in her life, and she wasn’t sure she had the strength to let him go.

He walked into the coffee shop, and the sound of his greeting was calm and warm, and she thought she’d melt, but she refused to betray herself in that moment. Mel was prayed up, and her inner pleas were for the Lord to strengthen her and give her the right words to say. He did. After an hour or so of easing in, they talked about that night, when she left him before his cousin’s wedding. Until that moment, she had not realized how deeply it hurt him. They had both punished each other, and only the Lord Jesus Christ could help them heal and grow in His love.

Significant relationships that can potentially lead to marriage are filled with bliss, but they can also reveal characteristics in the other person that are immature, toxic, and very challenging to deal with. Can we successfully navigate through these? Absolutely, but not without Jesus Christ. God has a plan for our marital partnership, and He will send the right person. The very best scenario is to pray and ask the Lord to grow you up in Christ before you meet him, so that you can be spiritually prepared to faith your way through any obstacles.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Romance Cannot Replace the Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

July 4, 2023
Our Need for Companionship

One of my co-workers is a born-again believer, and he’s 37, single, attractive, and financially secure. I was being a bit brazen one day and asked him if he ever wanted to get married. He answered, “Yes, when I find the right one.” I thought to myself, “Isn’t that what most single men say?” I have no doubt that he was being sincere, but I must admit that this response and attitude of many single men still baffles me. What’s the criteria they’re holding for “the right one”? Is it based on the standards that God has set in His Word, or is it based on a physical attraction that immediately sparks a response of his flesh? Is he looking for both those things or is he blinded by a refusal to be humble and allow God to direct this area of his life?

He may not have given much thought to how he defines “the right one”, but as a woman wanting to partner, you must be keenly interested in why he thinks he hasn’t met her. We shouldn’t be under any delusions about their pickiness here. Men need companionship as much as women. They are innately aware that they need the nurturing of women to live the more than abundantly life that Jesus Christ made available. If it were available for them to have this level of living without women, Adam would never have needed Eve, but the reality is that Adam did need Eve. And men do need women. This is the Will of God.

Genesis 2:20(NLT) tells us, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” God’s brilliance and the perfection of provision dictated that Adam needed a helper, and part of Adam’s responsibility would be to care for her as well. Nothing about the way God set this up has changed. In Genesis 2:24(NLT), God said “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Whether we accept it or not, this is the Will of God concerning the marriage of a man and woman, and His blessing hinges on the condition that His Word is honored and respected.

Of course, every man and woman have the free-will choice to decide the person that they will marry, but if we ask God, He will send the person that HE has ordained to be just right for us. However, the reality is that most of us don’t ask Him, and we don’t extend an invitation for Him to be Lord over this aspect of our lives. God will not interfere with our relationship decisions without an invitation from us. He will never overstep our free-will choice. We get to decide if we want and will follow His guidance. History has proven how devastating the results can be in marriage when a couple doesn’t invite God into their unions. They fail to submit to His leadership through the Lord Jesus Christ, and the results of this is catastrophic.

An excuse to be selfish
The issue is not about a man finding the right one. The issue is whether he will recognize the woman God sends. For him to recognize her, his eyes must be open. For his eyes to be open, he should be seeking the Lord about it. Jesus Christ said in Luke 11:9-10(NLT), “9 And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” Our Heavenly Father gives good and perfect gifts, and He knows exactly how to provide for us. It is necessary that we humble ourselves in honor of His perfection, brilliance, and power, and seek Him for ALL things.

Many physically mature men have never been married. They are financially stable, intelligent, affable, and have great relationships. They are perfectly able to share their lives, generosity, loyalty, and love with a woman in the Spirit of Christ, but they refuse to do this. An expanding bank balance, a satisfactory level of success, a comfortable lifestyle, and a fear that someone might jeopardize these things makes many men lock- on to selfishness with a death grip.

God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to His Will and to the lives of others. Sadly, many men do not view this as their responsibility to Christ. Instead of being committed to obedience and faith in God, they choose selfishness as a device to appease their insecurities about money and preserve their way of life. They use their singleness to shield themselves from the commitment of truly sharing their lives with a woman, and they often see their single status as a license to try on several women like new pairs of shoes.

This is a form of exploitation, and it is in no way Godly. As women of faith, we need to see it coming a mile away. We should not yield to it, neither should we attempt to do it ourselves. There’s a right way to find the right fit, and it is to seek God and make sure our actions are guided by Him.

An excuse to play around
1Corinthians 7:32-35(NLT) gives us wisdom for understanding God’s Will. It says, “32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

The wisdom of this passage teaches us God’s standard for marital conduct. It teaches us that marriage is a gift. It’s God’s way of providing companionship but it is also a way of keeping us from sexual immorality, because that stuff just wrecks the lives of people. It takes them further away from God rather than closer to Him and His blessings. Our Heavenly Father made it clear in 1Corinthians 7:32-35 that the only acceptable reason a man would remain single is that God has ordained him for the purpose of being totally sold out to ministry. Women are just as much God’s treasures as men, and neither a man nor a woman should ever use their single status as an excuse to play around with God’s treasures.

Jesus Christ commanded us in Mark 12:30(NLT), “You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” This is the only acceptable way to love God. Well, how do we accomplish it? 1John 5:3(NLT) declares, “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” Our need and desire for companionship must never be above our allegiance to honor God and do what He says.

The right one for all of us is forever and always Jesus Christ. He’s the one to give us marital unity and longevity, and our commitment to honor him allows us to walk in his love, strength, and power. We have made relationships way more complicated than God ever intended. We can’t navigate this rocky terrain without His help. We desperately need His guidance, so we should never try to take things into our own hands by leaning on our own understanding. That’s not a winning strategy. 1John 5:4 tells us that every person in life will defeat the plots and tricks of evil, and we will do this, not by selfishness or a need to control, but by the victory that is achieved through our faith in God. So, if a man is truly waiting to find the right one, he should be seeking God’s guidance. Most importantly, he should never allow his single status to be a detriment to any woman’s life or to his own with relationship with God and standing in Christ.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Our Need for Companionship”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2023. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

June 27, 2023