Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Advice for Singles

He Showed Up and Showed Out!

Some of us are facing challenges that we’ve never faced before. These are unprecedented times, and we want God to perform the miraculous in a way that we’ve never witnessed. If you’re like me, in the past, you might have heard your mother and grandmother talk about how God showed up and showed out on their behalves. In our younger days, we might not have understood what they meant. Back then, we didn’t quite grasp the impact that God’s grace and power made in their lives, but our current circumstances have made the impact of His grace and power crystal clear to us. Life hasn’t been easy, and with everything the enemy has thrown at us, there’s no way we would have made it this far without God. He’s kept us, walked with us through the storm and brought us out of it. Now is not a time for fear and trembling. It’s a time to show God that we know who He is and what He can do. Now more than ever, we must trust Heavenly Father with our whole hearts.

The Christian walk is filled with many obstacles and challenges, and our Lord and Savior never hid this from us. He told the disciples in John 15:19(NLT), “The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you.” There is nothing more rewarding and exquisite than living for God through the Lord Jesus Christ, but make no mistake, there is a cost. Trials and tribulations come with the choice to serve our Lord and Savior. With those challenges will also come great victory and triumph as we travail over life’s difficulties through faith in God.

There’s something we learn about God as we go through the storms of life, and we would not learn these spiritual lessons otherwise. In Colossians 1:11(NLT), the Apostle Paul communicates his prayer for the faithful in Christ in the city of Colosse. This prayer is necessary for all of us to continue growing in the example of Christ. He said, “We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need.” This is such an important prayer because we desperately need endurance and patience. They build trust in our relationship with Heavenly Father, and they are necessary to accomplish the goals He has for us.

Being single year after year, going through the pain of a divorce, or dealing with other of life’s hiccups and missteps all require a certain strength and courage. The point that must be impressed on your heart is that with each trial or tribulation you go through, God is with you. He told His people in Deuteronomy 31:6(NLT), “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” In Joshua 1:9(NLT), He said to His people, “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” God’s people living in Old Testament times were servants, but those of us living after the resurrection of Christ are God’s children. So, beyond a shadow of doubt, we are covered under God’s protection and care. He will never leave or forsake us.

God has a very loving way of teaching us the spiritual lessons of love. He doesn’t force us to learn them, but He walks with us at our own pace. The process of preparation when it comes to marriage is no different. There are some lessons we need to learn, and our patience is not long when it comes to this. We want to be married yesterday, but if we move too quickly, and get ahead of the Holy Spirit, we will end up being disappointed and perhaps devastated by the outcome. No matter the problem or issue, God will always show up and show out in our circumstances. He walks with us, and His ultimate goal is always to see us blessed and thriving in Christ. We are living in turbulent times, but God has not changed nor will He. He is faithful to bless us, so let’s have confidence in Him and trust that He will restore, heal, deliver, and promote us if we remain patient and endure. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“He Showed Up and Showed Out!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 14, 2021
The Right King for You

God’s Word tells us in 1Corinthians 14:33 that He is a God of order. The definition of this word ‘order’ points us in the direction of other words we know so well, like organization, arrangement, and structure. Because of God’s Word, we can now see clearly that everything He does is systematic and efficient. He arranges things in such a way that He never has to do a do-over, a back-track, or a take-back. This information is so crucial because it helps to provide the framework for how we approach God in prayer, particularly if we’re praying to cross paths with Mr. Right. If you’ve been praying about your desire to be married for quite some time, the framework for understanding the orderly way that God does things may help you considerably.

1Samuel 16 gives us just the perspective we need. It tells us the communication between God and His prophet, Samuel. It took place during the reign of King Saul, who was the first king of the children of Israel. Saul had all the trappings. He was handsome as all get-out, virile and strong, and the people loved him because in their minds, he fit the bill for how a king should look and act. But Saul only looked the part. He wasn’t a good fit. Time and time again, God gave him opportunities to straighten up his act and be obedient, but his arrogance got in the way. Saul’s heart was far from God, and he was determined to do things his own way.

God told his prophet, Samuel, that Saul had to go, and Samuel was very disappointed about this. He loved Saul and was upset that God had chosen someone else to be king. If we’re being honest, many of us have been in Samuel’s shoes. We took it upon ourselves to find ourselves a king, and although he looked the part, he was not ready for the responsibility and privilege of caring for our hearts because he didn’t honor God. He was not the one. And rather than repenting for not consulting and listening to Heavenly Father in our decision making, some of us prayed to God to make this misplaced-king act right, or we asked God to change his heart.

Heavenly Father will never overstep someone’s free-will. This is something we must know so that we do not pray for things that are outside of God’s Will and Word. We can pray until the cows come home, but God will not change someone’s heart towards us. This is made abundantly clear in the record of King Saul. God loved Saul more than anyone, including Samuel, but Heavenly Father would not change Saul’s heart. God would not make him act right, because again, doing something like this would violate His laws, and God will never overstep His Word. Instead, Heavenly Father chose someone to be king that had a heart that was tender towards Him. It was David, a ruddy-faced boy who loved shepherding and being out in nature. Samuel, the prophet, thought God was going to choose one of David’s brothers, because again Samuel was impressed with appearance and height. The Father told him in 1Samuel 16:7(NLT), “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

As single women, we have to ask ourselves if we’re searching for someone that looks the part, or do we want the king that God has chosen for us? Left to our own devices, many of us have chosen someone who looks the part but has a heart that is far from God. This often leads to disaster. Some of us do this because we don’t believe God will present us with someone that is all we need them to be. In reality, the scriptures are full of accounts where God does the exceedingly abundantly and exceeds expectations. He has many men that are talented, courageous, intelligent, attractive, and the favor of God is upon them. There is no shortage of good men, but there is in fact a shortage of women that are willing to be patient and obedient as God teaches them to align with His purpose and order.

Humility and honor before God means that we must get rid of our resistance to change. God desires us to be happy and to have a life that is fulfilling and meaningful, but the more than abundant life can only be lived through Jesus Christ. He is the way to it. So, we must change the way we’ve done things in the past. We must be guided by the Spirit of Christ on the journey to acquiring what we want most in life, because this is God’s order. Psalm 37:23(NLT) says, “The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Let the Lord delight in the details of your life by submitting your quest for marriage to Him and trusting that He will present the right king for you.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Right King for You”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 6, 2021
Welcome to Your Virtual Internal Tour

If you’ve ever planned a vacation or looked for a house in another state, you’re probably familiar with the term ‘virtual tour’. It’s images or video that provide a 360° panoramic view of a property or location. You can even zoom-in for a closer look at many of the details. Some of these virtual tours are so realistic that it’s almost like being there in person, but not quite. As you zoom in and zoom out, you get a visual that helps you plan for reality. We do this because a virtual tour provides information that is very helpful to our decision-making process. If the tour is an honest presentation of reality, it can be a great tool to help make a worthwhile investment, but there are no guarantees. Just like people, there are always things going on internally that no amount of surface viewing is going to pick up.

Pain is a terrific motivator. It should motivate us to want to avoid as much of it as possible. Not only can it begin a cycle that lasts a very long time, needless pain robs us of the resources of time and energy. We need to focus our resources on the blessing with our name on it rather than depleting our reservoirs on someone that was never meant for us. Heavenly Father wants us to be wise. He tells us in Proverbs 4:7 that wisdom is the principal thing; it’s number one when it comes to all that we need to live a successful existence. God also tells us to develop good judgment and insight, so that we won’t waste any of the life He’s blessed us with.

It can’t be lost on any of us that virtual is here to stay. We need look no further to the popularity of dating websites to see this. Supplying prospective daters with information about a person in a neat digital package, dating websites are notorious for profiles that list all the good and leave out all the bad. Unlike a house or a trip, we must be wise and not make an emotional investment solely based on a virtual tour. Jesus Christ has commanded us to seek God first in all things, especially when it comes to relationships.

God’s Word doesn’t tell us that knowing someone a really long time is a prerequisite for marriage, but it does give us the wisdom to make good dating choices that will honor our relationship with God and benefit our lives. Through the Apostle Paul, God tells us in Hebrews 12:1 that we should lay aside sin and all the heavy stuff that comes with it. This means that we should not be impatient when it comes to making decisions. We should wait on God for the green-light. This verse also affirms that every believer has a race that God, Himself, has placed before them. We are to run this race with endurance. We don’t have time for costly mistakes that set us back. If we trust God, we will avoid those.

We can’t judge a book by its cover, and when we’re obedient to God’s Word, we’ll never be in this position. Wisdom dictates that even before we begin a virtual tour of someone else’s profile, we’ll make sure ours is straight. We’ll make sure we’re a true representation of Christ. Some of us have some baggage that we’ve been carrying around a long time, and it is important to pray to God in the name of Jesus Christ, and ask Him to reveal the thing in our hearts that is holding us back. When you and I are unwilling to see certain things about ourselves that are harmful to our relationship with God, we overlook or don’t recognize it in others either. We attract the very person who reflects the worse in ourselves. We should want to get this internal housekeeping cleaned up before we start looking at someone else’s house.

When it comes to partnering, a lot of us have taken matters into our own hands. We’ve made a choice, and then asked God to bless the choice we have made. This isn’t how faith works. Faith dictates that God walks us through the process from beginning to end. And in this, we learn to lean on Him and not on our own understanding. We learn to hear His directives more clearly, and we develop faith in His love and guidance. You don’t want to rob yourself of this. It’s the most important aspect of life. Virtual tours may be the wave of the future, but nothing will ever replace God’s Word, and His way always works best.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Welcome to Your Virtual Internal Tour”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 29, 2021
Your Blessing is Linked to Your Gift

1Peter 4:10 tells us that God has given each of us a unique spiritual gift to bless the body of Christ. This begs us to ask ourselves if we know what this gift is and if we are using it in the way God has purposed. He instructs us in 1Peter 4:10 to use our gifts to serve one another. As sisters in Christ that are praying to cross paths with our future spouses, God requires that we obey His Word. Our obedience will position us on the path that leads to His rewards, and He doesn’t want us to miss the treasure He wants to give us. As we seek God for guidance and direction in our desires to be married, we can be sure that the answer to our prayer is linked to our desire to use the gift God has given us.

When it comes to certain aspects of life and what we want out of it, the ‘why’ is very important to our understanding. Why do we want to be married? What do we want out of marriage? Who do we want to marry and what are we doing to bring ourselves closer to what we want? These are very important questions that we must answer. We must answer them because there must be something within our minds and hearts that draws us closer to what we want and draws what we want closer to us. We can’t sit back with our hands on our laps and do nothing. James 2:26 tells us that faith without works is dead.

We can’t perform any ol’ work we please and think that God will automatically bless it. If we have ears to hear, He will tell us what we ought to do, and He will tell us how to get it done. He tells us in His Word what He expects from us, and there is always a reason behind His expectations. He doesn’t keep it a secret.

In 1Peter 4:11(NLT), He tells us, “Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.” God is the Giver of good and perfect gifts, and when it comes to blessing the body of Christ, everyone has a gift they can employ for the increase of God’s Kingdom. In 1Peter 4:11, Heavenly Father tells us why using our gifts is so crucial to our relationship with Him and to the well-being of our lives. He instructs us to use our gifts in the most diligent way possible, because when our heart is to be of service in a way that honors God, we bring glory to Him through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Bringing glory to God is the greatest thing that any living thing or person can do. It is the key, and we must use it to unlock the treasures we desire. Glory is the highest praise, honor, adoration, and admiration that can be given. Anyone that is glorious by definition deserves glory. God deserves the highest level of glory that can be achieved. He deserves it every moment of every day for all of eternity. When a man came running towards Jesus and called him ‘Good Teacher”, Jesus asked him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except the Father.” Our Father is good, and as His children, we must give Him the glory He is due.

In 2Timothy 4:7, near the end of his life, the Apostle Paul declared, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:” We should all be able to speak these words at the point of our transition. Heavenly Father has revealed a key to faith for us, and it has everything to do with the motivation of our hearts. We must desire to please God more than we desire to please any other person. His pleasure and delight must be our chief motivation and desire, and if it is, our actions will back it up. We will understand that He has laid a race before each of us, and not only this, He’s given us every skill, gift, and resource to run this race and finish it with authority and victory. Let’s get busy fulfilling our purpose in the Lord, because the energy and effort behind our obedience to His Will contains the faith to bring our greatest desires into fruition.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Your Blessing Is Linked to Your Gift” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 16, 2021
A Marriage Covered by The Blood of Jesus Christ

I remember the first time I saw a little girl named Chastity. I thought she was the most beautiful child I had ever seen, and her mother always kept her impeccably dressed. She was doted on by almost everyone, especially by her parents. Although they loved her very much, her mother and father had a terribly rocky relationship. Her father was verbally abusive towards her mother, and on a few occasions, this led to physical altercations between them. As she grew into adulthood, Chastity never thought of her parents as angry people or those with anger issues. Oddly, she thought most parents behaved just as hers did. It wasn’t until she began married life and faced some of its complexities that she saw the anger of her parents manifesting in her own life, and it did so with devastating results.

Chastity was mandated by the courts to enter an anger management program after attacking her husband in a domestic dispute. She was taken away from their home in handcuffs and ultimately received a no-contact restraining order to stay away from her husband. It wasn’t until several months after her divorce that she shared this with her closest friends. She was embarrassed and ashamed, and she was also very afraid. She loved married life and very much wanted to be in a relationship, but anxiety about what she had gone through caused her to constantly second-guess her decisions. Something she wanted so much had slipped through her fingers once before, and she feared it could happen again.

Psalm 37:8 (NLT) tells us, “Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm.” During the anger management program that she was mandated to attend, Chastity learned some very good strategies for controlling outbursts of anger. But even though she felt like she had a good handle on it, the root of this anger was still in her heart. God’s Word tells us to stop being angry. This suggests to us that for some people, anger is a way of being. It’s a ‘go-to’ response.

God created us out of His love. So, we know from His Word that we were not created to respond in anger, but to respond with the love of Christ. When anger is always operating in the background, instead of the liberty of Christ, we must allow the healing power of God’s love to be administered to our hearts and minds in a greater way. We do this by learning more of God’s Word and asking the Holy Spirit to teach and guide us.

Again, the way that a man and a woman create an opening in their hearts for healing is to place God’s Word in the position of preeminent authority in their lives. His Word cannot fail, and He tells us in His Word that anger is birthed from fear. This fear is sometimes passed down from generation to generation, and it continues because God’s Word is either not known, not believed, or not lived.

All of us get angry at one time or another, but to have unresolved deep-seated anger is another matter. It suggests that greater focus on God through Christ is needed so that the mind can be renewed, and the Holy Spirit can do his transformative work. Both sexes sometimes have issues that prevent them from seeing their counterparts in the light of Christ. Instead, they are operating from faulty programming that was passed down. It’s entirely possible, in this case, for the woman with silent rage to see her spouse as a threat and not a blessing.

This is problematic because it defies God’s plan for the marital union. It is impossible for our Heavenly Father to make a mistake. You and I make them all the time, but He never does, and we must trust this with our entire being. Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” Our God is our Source of provision and protection. He doesn’t withhold any goodness from the man and woman that is committed to do what is right. So, as a woman of God who has a heart to do what is right, you must trust God to present you with a man that has a heart to do what is right as well. This is an anointing and grace that only God can provide. And if we trust Him to make this provision available to us, we must also trust Him as we totally and completely surrender any anger and bitterness operating in our hearts.

It’s not about you fixing yourself; you can’t. It’s about recognizing that because of the blood of Christ that was shed for our sins, we are cleansed from all unrighteousness. We couldn’t do it, and our Heavenly Father loved us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die for us. 1John 1:9 says that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. It’s the blood of Christ that cleansed us, this is what we must trust. So, the necessary shift is to cease from trying to be right and accept that we have been made right through Christ, through his blood that was shed for us.

As our understanding and appreciation of what God has done for us through Jesus Christ increases, we are released from the bondage of fear. You can’t place your marriage under the covering of the blood of Christ if you’re not walking in it yourself. Order was restored through the blood! This order means that as a woman that believes God, you are completely sold out to His provision. You understand that GOD is your Provider and Protector! HE gives you grace and glory through Christ, and it gets expressed through the man, because the man is the conduit by which God administers His blessing to you. YOU, likewise, are the conduit by which God administers His blessing to the man.

Ecclesiastes 7:9(NLT) tells us, “Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.” Being easily provoked to anger makes us look foolish because it causes us to lose the blessings we treasure. God’s Word must be obeyed. This must be the heart of the believer, and it is the foundation upon which our hearts are healed, our marriages are secured, and our walk with God is continually infused with His grace and glory.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Marriage Covered by the Blood of Jesus Christ” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

November 2, 2021
First, Calculate the Cost

How many of us go into relationships with our eyes wide open? Most single Christians would probably say they do, but even those of us that are spiritually mature and desire God’s Will for our lives, end up realizing that our eyes were not as wide open as we had thought. This means that although we included a few expected bumps in the road in our relationship calculations, we didn’t think there would be a cliff we’d have to jump over, and we never imagined it would be so deep and wide. So, it is important for us to adjust our calculations right now, before we take the leap. To do this, we’ve got to look at what Jesus Christ taught us in Luke 14, and then ask ourselves are we willing to pay the price that is required to have a relationship that lasts.

In speaking to two wonderful Christian women recently about their desire for marriage, I was struck by the depth of their desire to have the right man in their lives. They spoke of some of the things they’ve already done to prepare to share their lives with him. One of these women is more seasoned in age and wisdom, but it seemed to me that both are at a point in their lives where they appreciate what the commitment of marriage means. I am committed to pray for them in prayer. As a single Christian woman, you must know how profoundly important it is for you to be praying for someone who desires the same thing as you. In truth, the mandate of the love of Christ dictates that you ought to be praying for them more than you pray for yourself.

Jesus Christ said in Luke 14:28(NLT), “But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?” He was speaking to a large crowd that followed him but did so for the wrong reason. They saw his good works—the miracles of healing and restoration. They heard his masterful teaching, and they thought they could simply lean on his greatness without having to learn how to demonstrate it themselves. They didn’t assume that the lesson of learning to lift up others would overshadow ‘just leaning’, and this ‘lifting-up’ lesson would cost a great deal to learn.

In Luke 14:26(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.” Some people would look at this and say, “Yikes! This seems harsh!” It isn’t at all when you consider what is at stake. Marriage is God’s institution. This statement is so staggeringly profound that we couldn’t possibly say it enough. Marriage satisfies God’s purpose for the lives of His people. As a person desiring marriage, if you have it in your mind that you’re getting married to service your own needs and take care of your own agenda, you’ve already taken Heavenly Father out of the equation. How can we do this, and at the same time ask Him to bless us to cross paths with our future spouses? That doesn’t work.

The cost that every single believer that desires marriage must pay is the cost of canceling out his or her own personal agenda for the sake of moving God’s agenda forward. Sadly, the reason that we see so many without the thing they want most is because so few are willing to calculate and pay the cost. In Isaiah 55:11(NLT), God said, “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” God’s Word belongs to Him! He sends it out, He blesses it, and it comes back to Him in the same way He sent it out. He’s given us an incorruptible, unfailing pattern here, and it is the same with everything else. God owns the institution of marriage. HE blesses it for HIS purpose. So, if we are asking Him to give us His blessing, we must pay the cost of using it for His purpose. No better deal exists.

The Word of the Lord is, don’t begin the quest until you count the cost. Don’t begin it until, within your heart of hearts, you’re asking the Holy Spirit to change your heart so that you want what God wants. Don’t begin the quest until you are steadfastly asking the Father what He requires of you and what you must change so that your marriage begins with putting Jesus Christ as the head and keeps him there. If there’s anything in you that isn’t in alignment with the role of wife and the service of a child of light, be willing to lay it down so that you can calculate the cost and pay the price according to the Will of God.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“First, Calculate the Cost”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 25, 2021
Oops! Did I Say That?

Proverbs 18:21(NLT) tells us “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” In my opinion, the heft and impact of this truth is grossly overlooked, particularly by those of us desiring to partner in marriage. Like many of you, I’ve read and heard it many times, and it reminds me continually to play close attention to the words I speak. This verse also reminds me of an incident that occurred when I dated someone in my early twenties. He made it very clear how much he cared for me, and while we were on a date one evening, he asked me how I felt about him. I hadn’t yet learned the economy of words or how to filter them through the love of God. If it came to my mind, often it flew from my lips without careful thought. So, when the young man asked me this question, immediately what came out was “You don’t know how to handle me yet.” Even today, I marvel at how immature a statement that was. I chalk it up to youthful arrogance and ignorance.

Needless to say, Proverbs 18:21 hadn’t been rooted in my mind and heart at all in my twenties. Spiritually preparing for marriage means that when the right question is asked, we don’t have to look back to an “oops!” moment, but we respond with the right answer. It’s an answer motivated from a heart that is ripe with the love of Christ. Preparation means that we need to study scripture several times to make sure we understand it; so that the revelation of it really sinks in.

Although Proverbs 18:21 is a simple and short verse, it packs a powerful punch. Our tongues can be weapons that not only hurt others but block our blessings as well. We sometimes forget how easily offensive our words can be. They have the potential to create things or destroy them. And because as women we tend to be more in touch with our emotions, we are also sometimes better at weaponizing this skill for our own purposes. We must be extremely cautious about this—of letting our emotions guide our tongues towards the business of sowing seeds of anger and destruction.

Just as we have certain characteristics and qualities that are baked in, our male counterparts do as well. They were appointed by God to be protectors and providers for their families, and they are instructed by God in Ephesians 5:25 to love their wives as Christ loves the church. We can see that this is a mix of being very strong on one hand, and very tender on the other. As women of God, we are obligated to handle both with care.

It is not easy for anyone to be vulnerable with their emotions, but we should be able to appreciate that this can be especially challenging for many men. Quite naturally we must be prepared for the reality that when a man makes his heart vulnerable, we must respond with an increased sensitivity in how we use our words. This becomes even more important when there are disagreements in the relationship.

The wisdom of Proverbs 21:19(NLT) says, “It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.” I know the sting of loneliness. It is indeed a desert, and I couldn’t tolerate even a hint of a possibility that my future husband would be better off there than with me. So, over the years, I committed myself to learn to use my words to build and uplift rather than tearing down. I would love to say that there was no cost to growing spiritually in this area, but that wouldn’t be true. There were steep and challenging circumstances I endured. It was all because I failed to heed God’s instruction and to practice wisdom and economy when it comes to my mouth. I knew that I needed to spiritually grow in this area, not just because I wanted to be a Godly wife, but because I wanted to be my best for God and the agenda of His Kingdom.

When our tongues are undisciplined, we’ll find ourselves repeatedly and regretfully asking “Oops! Did I say that?” It’s a question we’ll ask way more than we’d like, because even we are surprised by what comes out of our mouths. We have a responsibility to trade in this habit as we train ourselves to think and speak words that are pleasing to God. The last thing any of us should ever want to do is injure and hurt with our words. Let’s pray for guidance in this area. I encourage you to ask the Lord to teach you to be more sensitive in your speech and conversation. Then you will be poised to speak life into your husband and family, and in so doing, you will partner with the Lord to help preserve the unity and strength of your marriage. ■

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Oops! Did I Say That?“ written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 18, 2021
God’s Seal of Approval

It really breaks my heart to see someone accept less than what they should in relationships. It has absolutely nothing to do with pride but everything to do with what God’s Word declares for His children. God blesses His Word in an undeniable way, and whenever we believe and trust it, His promises can’t help but come to pass. The question facing many of us today is are we truly hungry for God’s Word. Are we hungry for the love and truth that is contained in a relationship with Him through the Lord Jesus Christ? This is such a pivotal question because if at the seat of our hearts, we only want the husband, God knows this; for nothing is hidden from Him. It’s incredibly important to examine our hearts and make sure a seal of approval from God is what we’re after, because this is the fountain from which all His blessings overflow.

In John 6:26-27(NLT), Jesus Christ said, “I tell you the truth, you want to be with me because I fed you, not because you understood the miraculous signs. But don’t be so concerned about perishable things like food. Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that the Son of Man can give you. For God the Father has given me the seal of his approval.” Jesus Christ understood that nothing in life is more important than pleasing God. He tells us in Matthew 6:33 to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness first in all that we do. This is the way to secure the kind of rich and satisfying life that Jesus made available. It’s to pray to God to help us live according to what He says in His Word. We can’t do it on our own, but through the Spirit of Christ that lives within, we can be and do all that God has purposed.

We don’t have time to waste by being consumed with things that are here today and gone tomorrow. We should want to spend our time on eternal matters. This means that we have to be careful about our actions and decisions. It’s sometimes challenging for us because no one likes to feel hopeless or powerless. We want to feel like we’re in control of our lives. When it comes to the crowd that followed Jesus in this record in John 6, I’m sure some of them felt disenfranchised and disappointed in life. They wanted to stop feeling this way. They wanted access to the power that Jesus Christ demonstrated and spoke about, and they asked him how to get it. John 6:29(NLT) says, “Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.””

Jesus Christ is the bread of life! As human beings, we know thirst, and we know hunger. Being hungry signals the brain that the body is lacking or is deficient, because it doesn’t have what it needs. Food is one of life’s most basic necessities, and every human knows how important it is. As we come to a spiritual understanding about Jesus Christ, we must know that our Father created life to need more than the nourishment that comes from food. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 4:4(NKJV), “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’ ” We need God’s Word to live life in all its fullness.

When a beloved sister has been praying to cross paths with her husband for a long time, she may feel hopeless and powerless to change her situation, but here’s the reality: it’s not her responsibility to change it. Philippians 4:19 (NLT) declares, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” It is God who supplies our needs. Our goal should be to move anything that keeps us from pleasing Him out of the way.

God blesses His Word and all who believe and trust in it. His Word never goes out without accomplishing the thing for which He sent it. Our Heavenly Father’s timing is perfect and Romans 5:5 affirms that the hope we have in Christ will not lead to disappointment. So, you are not asked to have faith in your own ability to supply your needs, because you can’t. From the least to the greatest, everything that you and I enjoy comes from God, and we have it only because He allowed it. You must trust that God has elevated His Word above His name and He will always back His Word. He’s faithful to it. Your responsibility is to be patient, to be obedient to God’s Word, and to trust Him with your whole heart, no matter what. This is what it takes to receive God’s seal of approval, and it is worth more than life itself. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God’s Seal of Approval” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 11, 2021
Come into God’s Light

There are a ton of single women that desire marriage and believe in the accomplished work of Jesus Christ, but they don’t or won’t apply spiritual principles to their marital quest. They don’t believe God has specifically ordained someone to walk with them through the journey of life. They’re not particularly interested in finding out about their purpose, and they haven’t consulted God about what they’re doing to harm or impede their quest. Their approach is one of taking the reins into their own hands. For instance, this woman may come across someone that ignites a certain spark within her. She also piques his interest, and she takes this as her queue to jump in with both feet. In this scenario, SHE made the choice, and then asked God to bless it. What happens next is a toss-up between utter devastation and second best. Both are beneath the privilege of a child of God.

In John 10:10(NKJV), Jesus Christ tells us, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” There are two exponentially important components to the truth our Master speaks in this verse. The first thing he does is let us know that there is a relentless dastardly thief in the earth, and he is the devil. The mission of the devil is to steal, kill, and destroy. We need only look at what is happening in the world today to see his evil intent and realize that he will stop at nothing to reap death and darkness in the earth.

Unity is something satan fears, and he wants to squash it wherever he can. One of the reasons for this is because Jesus Christ has declared in Matthew 18:20 that wherever two or three are gathered in His name, He is in the midst of them. There is power where two are connected in their desire and commitment to honor God through Christ, and the devil does not want this power to manifest. It is one of the chief reasons he attacks marriages—to cancel out any chance of unity among spouses and families.

The enemy knows our weaknesses and how deep our desire for marriage is. Jesus Christ did not keep us in the dark about the devil’s tricks. Our blessed Savior didn’t tell us about the plots of the enemy so we would cower in fear somewhere in a corner. He told us so that we would mount up with faith and arm our quest and future relationship in his authority. We must guard our hearts with God’s love. If we don’t, we won’t recognize the difference between a trick and a blessing.

We must remember that guarding our hearts involves being careful NOT to make emotional connections with someone who hates the light. John 3:20-21(NLT)“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.” When people are intent on staying hidden in an evil nature, they don’t want this exposed. We may not perceive them as harmful, but one day down the road, they will show us what lies beneath the surface and it will be horrible. God wants to protect us from this, and He does it by guiding our desire and quest for marriage. As we seek His counsel on every decision and choice, He will keep our feet from falling into satan’s plot. He’ll prevent us from being tricked into entertaining a demon spirit rather than an angel spirit.

Just because a man is nice doesn’t mean that he’s of God. Even believers that have been on this journey in Christ for a while can be deceived. Discernment comes from God. He communicates information to the Holy Spirit within us, and the Holy Spirit communicates this information to our human-spirit. This is the communication system God has created. Our arrogance, impatience, pride, and refusal to pay attention to the Holy Spirit will block this information. This is how we lose the ability to discern.

1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” We are children of God’s light. When you love the Lord, and carry His love in your heart, it will attract light to you and dispel the darkness around you. Through his example and the multitudes that followed him, Jesus Christ showed us that the light also brings out the haters—those who do evil and hate the light, because they allow themselves to be used by the devil. You may ask, “How do I know if they hate the light?” Jesus Christ told us Luke 6:44 that a tree is known by the fruit it bears. Pray that the Lord will open your eyes to the person’s fruit.

We won’t recognize light in another person if we’re not walking in it ourselves. Our Lord and Savior didn’t mince words when it comes to light and darkness. There’s a difference between the two, and knowledge of the distinction impacts where we’ll spend eternity. Recognize that the consequences of being invested in a child of darkness are very painful and can potentially influence the rest of your life. God doesn’t want you to be hurt this way. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to the earth to make a more than abundant life available to you, and you can have it if you walk by the Spirit.

Reach out and grab what’s yours by letting your decisions and choices regarding who and how to develop a relationship be guided by God. He already knows the person that will fit into the destiny and plan He has for your life. Bring your desire into the light of His wisdom and let your faith in Him rest in the reality that He will not fail. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Come into God’s Light” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

October 4, 2021
A Big Dose of Truth

1Corinthians 10:26(NLT) declares, “For “the earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it.” All that we are and all that we could ever hope to be is because of our Creator. We owe God our lives, and every breath that we breathe is only possible because of His amazing grace. He made the air and everything else that is necessary for our living. Most of us are aware of our Heavenly Father’s unyielding generosity, yet many of us still do not have an acceptable level of gratitude that goes hand in hand with this awareness. It is very possible, and often reality, that we receive gifts, and we are not deeply thankful for them. The practice of being deeply grateful for gifts is an important awareness. It’s especially important for those praying to meet their future marital partners because it reveals what Heavenly Father requires. Many of us are praying for a Godly partner that will love and honor us, however, we haven’t given much thought to how we will continually demonstrate our gratitude to God for such a gift.

As believers in Jesus Christ, we are called by God to live consistent with who He’s made us in Christ. Heavenly Father has designed life in such a way that the closer we are to the example of Christ, the more rewards we will receive. Life does not open doors for you and me unless we have the key. Jesus tells us in Matthew 16:19 that actively pursuing and walking in his example is the key. It allows us to loose things and bind them up both in heaven and in the earth. In other words, Jesus has provided everything we need to open doors that lead to treasures, but every time we do something against the Will of God—every time we engage behaviors and attitudes outside his example, we move ourselves further away from the door.

Romans 8:1(NLT) tells us, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Our Heavenly Father isn’t trying to make us feel bad, nor does He want us continually being down on ourselves. He wants the absolute best for us. He doesn’t want us to fall into the trap of sin and then not understand how we landed there. Through His Spirit, the scriptures, and through those that have been speaking and teaching His Word, Heavenly Father has warned us about sin and its consequences. Yet, many of us have chosen to ignore His warning and we’ve stepped outside His Will. He doesn’t punish us for doing this, but there is a consequence, nonetheless. Every action has a consequence, and sometimes it comes with a pretty big price.

Again, we owe God everything, and the question we must ask is how we’re going to demonstrate that we understand this truth. We can actually say words that communicate we’re thankful to Him, but words mean very little without the action to back them up. There must be some evidence of our gratitude. God is looking for something in the way we live that proves our commitment to His Word. He tells us in Romans 12:1 to present our bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to Him, because this is the least we can do for all He’s done for us. To get a visual of what He’s requiring in Romans 12:1, we first need to recall the relationships we’ve had in the past, and how we responded to the pressure to do things we knew were not Godly. We must remember the attitudes and emotions we displayed, and then be courageous enough to measure how far they were from the example of Christ.

We can never repay God for all He’s done, and He isn’t asking us to. What He wants is for us to present ourselves to Him so that He can help us to transform. He wants to have His way with those attitudes and behaviors that are working against us. In order to show our gratitude to God, we must have faith that He is indeed a Rewarder. We must trust that if we offer our whole beings, He will accept them and do a work within us through Jesus Christ.

The treasure of marriage isn’t being withheld from anyone. The consequences of sinful actions move us away from the Father’s Will, and they also move us away from what we desire most. This is a big dose of truth and many single folks are not ready to accept it, but this is the wrong attitude. There is tremendous hope and reward linked with God’s correction when we accept it. Heavenly Father is a God of love. 1John 4:19(NLT), tells us, “We love each other because he loved us first.” God wrote the book on love, not us. He is the One that has set the patterns for how love behaves.

There must be a willingness on our part to stop doing the things that displease Him. Instead, we must come to God in total humility and ask Him to order our steps according to His Will. His love lifts us up, and we must trust this with our whole hearts, because trusting in His love moves us closer to the example of Christ.

Heavenly Father delights in rewarding His children, but we must continually give Him something to reward. Our commitment to walk in the love of Christ must be demonstrated now, through our willingness to put our love for God above the temptation of sin. It’s not about the kind of perfume or the clothes we wear. It’s the love of Christ that wins people’s hearts. This is how we demonstrate our gratitude to God, by our obedience to the example of Christ. When we prove that we are able to love a spouse from a place of spiritual maturity and obedience to God, the right door will appear. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Big Dose of Truth”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

September 13, 2021