Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Advice for Singles

The Journey of Becoming Two

Several of my friends are single parents and raising children on their own. For some of them, relationships have been a revolving door. Some of those relationships looked promising, as if they were going to end in marriage, but things didn’t work out. While we don’t talk about it too much, I know that some of my friends no longer want to be carrying the load of life on their shoulders alone. They desire to journey together with someone that is supportive, caring, and dependable—someone that will fit into their children’s lives with grace and respect. My friends, like most of us, want a home filled with the unity of Christ, but how do they get there? How do single parents make the transition from feeling like they’re carrying the load alone to maintaining a relationship that will ultimately lead to a good and stable marriage?

To be honest, none of us are ever alone. God has brought us this far, and it is because of His goodness, mercy, and grace that we’re here today. Heavenly Father also makes it clear in His Word that marriage is His institution, and He desires everyone who wants to get married to have a good and Godly spouse. Ecclesiastes 4:12(NLT) says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” This verse affirms the journey of transitioning from one to two. It’s understanding God’s expectation, covering, and wisdom regarding unity. He is the One that has set the standard, not us. When a man and woman are committed to Christ and committed to each other, and they stand back to back, they are poised to conquer. Their allegiance to put Christ at the head of their union makes a triple-braided cord that will withstand enemy attacks.

The Non-Negotiable Choice

Heavenly Father wired all of us for happiness. We desire it probably more than anything else, and we understand that relationships with God and relationships with others are direct links to this happiness. It doesn’t take much to understand our desire for marital partnership, because unified connections make life sweeter. God set the precedent for this because it’s what He wants from us, connection! Long before any of us came on the scene, we were in God’s thoughts. He knew about us and predestined our existence according to the good pleasure of His Will and Plan. Even before He created Adam, He knew humanity would need a Redeemer in the person of His only begotten, Jesus Christ. God did all of this why? He did it because He wanted a family. He wanted children, and we are the apple of His eye. He created us because He wanted connection with us, and it makes sense that we would want connections with each other.

Our desire for a unified family is baked in, and God understands this desire more than anyone. We must let the truth of this marinate in our hearts and minds. Knowing that God desires our dreams of marriage, family, and unity to come true must be the foundation of our believing. Some of us struggle to believe this, and one of the reasons that we struggle with it is because we’ve grown used to trusting our own shoulders. In our gut, many of us think our shoulders have carried the burdens of single parenting alone. This has bred a sort of independence that causes us to make decisions and choices without consulting Heavenly Father and without trusting His guidance.

The truth is that our shoulders could never have carried all the complexities and burdens that come with being a single parent. It was challenging, but God carried the weight for us. Jesus Christ tells us in John 15:5 that apart from him, we can’t do anything. With some of us, there’s a place in our hearts where we connect personal confidence to the struggles we’ve been through. The rewiring is to connect confidence to faith in God and His grace to bless us to make it, even though we didn’t always put Him first. Sometimes we put the man first, the situation first, our own physical and sexual need first, and we didn’t even think about what God’s Word says.

Our faith in God and His Word must have first position in our minds and hearts. Our commitment to stand on what God says must be relentless, especially when it comes to bringing someone new around our children. Faith is not negotiable. We must be fully persuaded and sold out to God’s commitment to bless us in the area of family and marriage. A half-hearted conviction will not do. If you believe God’s desire to see you blessed is not greater than your own desire for the same, there is more work to do to increase your faith.

You are not a martyr, and your sacrifice or struggle is not required for your happiness. Jesus Christ has paid the price in full. Faith is the requirement you must meet. This means your confidence in the plan God has for your life and the lives of your children must be unshakable. He knows the right person; therefore, the choice to leave this totally in His hands is non-negotiable.

You Determine Your Level of Blessing

Past relationships can teach us many things, but one of the most important lessons is seeing the mirror they hold up regarding our faith. They reveal what was most important to us and they show us how much of God’s wisdom we employed. We should learn from them that building a relationship on the foundation of Jesus Christ is the only way to have confidence that it will continue. You and I can only be blessed to the level that we believe and trust in God’s Word.

Hebrews 6:1(NLT) tells us, “So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God.” Transitioning from single to married requires us to stop going back to old habits and making the same relationship mistakes. As single parents, we should be way past the elementary stage of believing and faith, because we have seen God do so much for us and our children. The greater blessing will require a greater commitment to God and His Word. This is what spiritual maturity is all about. It’s growing in Christ so that we can have his unity and peace in our families and in the marriage that we are believing God to make a reality.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Journey of Becoming Two” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 21, 2022
The Words I Speak Tell My Story

Researchers say that a person can speak several thousand words in an hour, so you can imagine how many words the average person can speak within a day or a week. If you think this is a lot, it’s generally assumed that women speak twice as many words a day than men. Whether it’s because women have way more to say or we have a little more to learn about the art of listening, there can be no doubt that many of us are effective communicators. We’re pretty good with expressing ourselves with words, but we also understand that communication isn’t just about talking. There are other cues and subtle ways to communicate, and intuitively, we’ve mastered reading between the lines. So, with all our finesse in the communication arena, why is it that more of us haven’t learned the secret to moving a situation from desperate to blissful using the power of our tongues?

James 3:3-6(MSG) takes us to school. It says, “A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.

A small bit in the horse’s mouth directs his whole body. This little bit makes all the difference! It’s the same thing with a small rudder on a ship. It steers the whole ship and keeps it on a straight course even when there’s a fierce storm with strong winds. This lets us know under no uncertain terms, that something we think is small and insignificant can have a gigantic effect. God is teaching us this because many of us have missed the small details, and overlooking these details is having a huge impact on our lives.

We want God to bless us in certain areas, and when the blessing doesn’t manifest how, where, and when we expect, we complain that God has not heard us or isn’t answering us. He’s communicating, but with us, that whole listening thing comes into play. We’re not paying attention to what He’s conveying and what He’s doing. We might be expecting Heavenly Father to use words, when He’s communicating another way. He might be communicating through our circumstances, telling us that we’re repeating old habit patterns, and self-sabotaging our progression forward. We fail to see the importance of what He’s teaching us through our situations and circumstances. We don’t appreciate the power He’s given us to make a change in our behavior, and we won’t be committed to use this power the way He has ordained. And because we’re overlooking what He’s conveying, we’re not learning the very lesson that will position us for the blessing we desire most.

God’s Word tells us that He’s a God of order, and this means that we won’t get to graduate if we haven’t learned the lesson. I used to say that I could write a book on what I’ve experienced in my short amount of time on this earth. Would the words I’ve spoken thus far author a book that I’d like? Would the title define the person I want to be? I might think so, but what about those for whom my words have influenced and impacted? You see, we really have no excuse because God has already told us the tool of our power. Jesus Christ taught us how to build a life with our words. He told us to do what he did when he walked the earth, which is to walk, talk, and live by God’s Word.

James 3:3-6 reminds us that it only takes a spark to burn down an entire forest. It only takes one accusing, venomous word from our lips to tear someone’s heart to pieces. If you or I have this in us, and we won’t check ourselves; if we have a heart this very moment that will go there, then we could potentially ruin the blessing God wants to give us. Heavenly Father is looking for obedience in us, so that He can trust us to build a foundation strong enough for a healthy relationship to grow and thrive. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that God is a Rewarder, but He rewards those that DILIGENTLY seek Him. As He examines the motives of our hearts, He’s looking to see if we’re diligent to use this awesome power He’s placed in our tongues to build up or tear down.

God tells us in Proverbs 18:21(NKJV), “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.” The secret to moving a situation from desperate to blissful is being ever so careful to examine the words we speak. What we communicate has lasting effects, and our tongues are powerful and sharp tools. Through them we can turn harmony to chaos, or we can turn chaos to harmony; it’s up to us! Let’s be committed to speak words that will tell a story of the love of Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father will be pleased with us if we do this. It will prove that we’ve heard His command and have humbled ourselves to obey it and be rewarded.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“The Words I Speak Tell My Story” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 14, 2022
You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think

If you’re single, there are bound to be days when being without a mate seems overwhelming. Most of the time, it doesn’t bother you all that much, at least that’s what you tell yourself. But there may be moments when being without the companionship of a significant and special person in your life just breaks your heart. Heavenly Father doesn’t want anyone to be in pain, that’s why He sent his Son. 1Peter 2:24(NLT) tells us, “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.” This healing includes the feelings of hurtful disappointment, loneliness, and heartbreak. Our blessed Lord took it all to the cross with him, and because of his sacrifice, we have victory over this pain. For many of us, the work that needs to be done is to accept what Jesus Christ has accomplished. This is the piece that causes us to see his victory manifested in the relationship we’ve been praying to receive.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV) tells us, “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” God’s goal is for us to bear fruit, the kind of fruit that remains and never spoils. Think about this, and you’ll see that God is interested in you bearing the fruit of marriage, and He also wants this marriage to last. He doesn’t want to see you or your spouse wavering in your commitment to one another or causing each other to resent and be bitter towards the other. No. God is not in the business of helping us to harm someone’s well-being, just as He doesn’t want someone causing harm to our well-being. He wants our faith to be at a level where we are prepared to weather any storm through the love of Christ.

Loneliness doesn’t feel good at all, and you must know in the deepest part of your heart that God doesn’t want you to be lonely. You must also come to the realization that your spiritual growth in Jesus Christ is God’s top priority; it’s what He wants most. When we understand this clearly, the question then becomes what area in our walks with Christ requires more spiritual growth and development. The answer isn’t always apparent to us, and that is why we need to pursue God’s wisdom and guidance, and to allow the Holy Spirit to teach us.

Heavenly Father doesn’t leave us suspended in a state of unawareness and lack when our desire is to please Him and to know more about His love. He tells us in Hosea 4:6 that His people are destroyed because they lack knowledge, because in fact, they reject knowledge about Him; and a curse comes not only on them because of the refusal to seek His wisdom, but on their children as well. In Proverbs 4:7, He reminds us that wisdom is the principal thing. We need to obtain it, and we also need to make sure we understand how to apply His wisdom. James 1:5(NLT) tells us, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” How can we have faith that God will bless us with a good and Godly marital partner, and we don’t even trust that He will give us Godly wisdom that will help us achieve that goal?

Some of us have thought patterns and negative attitudes that undermine our faith every time. We don’t see the best in God, and therefore, we don’t believe He wants the best for us. How do we view sin? Do we give ourselves permission to do what God has told us not to do? The answers to these questions are very telling, because our actions tell the story about what we believe. God has told us that if we believe His Word, we will trust it and be obedient to it. If there is an area of our lives where we haven’t put God’s Word in motion, but instead, we’re sticking to how we’ve always believed or what we want to do, our faith is not activated.

Most of us think we know our hearts pretty well, but God knows them better than we ever could. This is a lesson for the ages: God knows our hearts. The reason it is so monumentally important for many single women to trust this wholeheartedly is because they unconsciously think they know more than God. They have felt as if they’ve had to shoulder many burdens alone. When there’s one person instead of two forging his or her way through life, a certain independence develops. Many single sisters carry this independence into their relationships with Heavenly Father. The problem with this is that God demands a child-like faith. But we think we’ve earned the right to call a spade a ‘spade’. We think we know stuff, and we become unteachable. This blocks our faith.

So, we come to God and say, “Oh God, my heart is broken from loneliness. I want a man!” This is a position and posture many of us own, and we do so lock, stock, and barrel. We come to Him telling the Creator of the entire universe that our tank is empty, when He has already filled it to overflowing through Christ. Many of us have not once entertained the truth that when you believe your tank is empty, it isn’t possible for another human being to fill it. The problem isn’t an empty tank, but wrong thinking. Our minds are not renewed to the reality of what we have been given. Because of the feeling of loneliness, we might begin to see ourselves as a victim rather than a victor. We must change this.

It never occurs to many of us to come to God with an attitude that conveys we know who He is, and we know that through Christ we have all we need. Many of us have never said, “Heavenly Father, You gave Your only begotten Son for my sins. He died on the cross, his body was beaten beyond what I could imagine. He was wounded for my transgressions, bruised for my inquities, and with his wounds, I am healed from any lack, loneliness, sickness, or disease! Help me Father to increase my faith so that I walk in the healing that Your Son paid for with His life.”

This is the truth! It’s what God’s Word says in Isaiah 53:5. Heavenly Father loves to see a mirror reflection of His glory in us. He loves it when we mirror His truth through our faith and confess it back to Him. God knows your heart better than you know it, and He wants to lift you higher and fulfill your desires. Let your confessions line up with God’s Word. Don’t let doubt and unbelief mold you into a person with patterns that undermine your spiritual growth. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and God will partner with your faith as you prove that He is good, perfect, and always willing to bless you. ■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“You Don’t Know Your Heart as Well as You Think”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 8, 2022
God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single

I read a study this week that said that single people between the ages of 21-34 are still struggling to find what they consider a compatible partner. For many of them, living together is a more common option than marriage and it’s becoming increasingly prevalent. These studies suggest that those women who do marry typically find their marital partners at the age of 25, and men around the age of 28. These are moving targets of course, particularly with the climbing divorce rates, which might mean that some of these young marriages are not lasting long. Finding love seems to get harder for those that are older and single. It’s common for many older men to prefer a living-together arrangement, and most older women prefer marriage. As you can see, the statistics don’t paint the rosiest of pictures, but this is often the case when faith in God’s provision is left out of the equation.

Not only have many people conveniently forgotten God’s standard when it comes to marriage, but it appears they’ve decided that He needs some help in this area. And we know that’s not the case. So, in the interest of addressing some of the attitudes and opinions about how God’s Word applies to modern relationships, I decided to bring this up as I conversed with a group of Christian sisters who were willing to share their opinions. One of them believed that many singles today are very career-minded and desire to focus on establishing themselves financially before thinking about a spouse. Someone added that this is also a time when people opt for physical connections without any commitment ties.

Some, but not all, of the women I spoke to that are believers were committed to God’s Word and only want to be with the man that God has ordained for their lives. Others were candid about the complexity of maintaining the relationships they’re in and trying to do it without physical intimacy. They feel guilty, but don’t want to be without the companionship of the person they care about; so, they have given in to temptation, and feel it helps to preserve the relationship despite what God’s Word says.

We can’t be surprised that some of our greatest temptations will show up in our significant relationships, because the devil wants us to be one of the negative statistics; and he wants us to make choices that prioritize other people and things over God. This grieves the Holy Spirit, and in the long run, it will devastate our lives.

A temptation is a presentation of a choice. God taught us this in Genesis. Adam and Eve were presented with a tempting choice by the devil. They didn’t have to disobey God, but they did it because they chose to believe the devil’s word over God’s Word. This behavior is rampant in the world we live in, even among believers. We are still tempted by the devil to make decisions that signify we believe the opposite of what God’s Word tells us. No, we’re not perfect. We’re going to make mistakes. We make poor choices and bad decisions sometimes, but Heavenly Father wants us to stop and think about what we’re doing. He wants us to make the process of “think before you act” a habit, so we don’t ruin the future that He desires to give us.

We make hundreds of decisions any given day. Some of great significance and some not so much. But when it comes to partnership and joining ourselves to another intimately, that’s a very significant decision, and it has a very significant impact on our lives. It is most certainly the truth that God will forgive us for all our sins. 1John 1:9(NLT) tells us, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” God throws our sins as far as the east is from the west, and He remembers them no more. But here’s the thing we’ve got to know, His forgiveness does not mean there will not be consequences for our poor choices and bad decisions. For every action there will be a reaction. That is law, and we cannot change it.

One of the reasons that the statistics for singles are troubling is because of the consequences for ignoring God’s Word and not obeying it. Our Heavenly Father cares about us and He cares about our happiness. He knows the challenges we face when it comes to patiently waiting for the right person, but we can’t think that our way is better for us than God’s way. Through Jesus Christ, God has given us a way to overcome the challenges of being single. In John 14:6(KJV), Jesus Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” He’s the pathway to the Father. All the spiritual blessings of peace, joy, unity, love, and righteousness come through him.

Whether or not we believe this, and the extent to which we believe it, will always be tested by the devil. Many of us have terrific lip service. We praise, we sing, we confess, but in our hearts, do we believe that God’s truth will set us free? Do we believe that following God’s Word will bring us the life we desire? If we believe it, our actions will back-up our beliefs. If we don’t believe it, we will follow our own way instead of following God’s way.

Each of us has choices. What path are we going to walk? Because we can’t walk a different path from the one Jesus Christ made available and expect to receive what’s on his path. Understand that the choices you make now are building your tomorrow and your future. In Matthew 4:4(NKJV), Jesus Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness, and he faced each temptation and overcame it by telling the devil, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Living God’s Word and obeying it gives us access to God’s rewards, because His Word is life to us, and we are always and forever better off when we trust and obey God’s Word.

Heavenly Father has more concern for our care than we do. In turn, He asks us to be more concerned about His Will than we do about anything else. He is our sufficiency. He will take care of all our needs.

Jesus Christ provided a way for us to get out of sin so we can escape the consequences of it. He paid the ultimate price of dying on the cross for our transgressions. When we know this in the deepest part of our hearts, we will know that steering clear of sin is the way to win and not lose. Losing is falling for the devil’s tricks and temptations. Think about your decisions and choices long and hard. Always pray to God and ask for direction. Be confident that if you follow the pathway that Jesus Christ has given us, it will lead you to a marriage of peace, joy, unity, longevity, and love. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

“God Will Help You Overcome the Challenges of Being Single”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

February 1, 2022
Is It Worth It to Step Away from God’s Standard?

Heavenly Father first introduces us to the knowledge about the part of our souls called the ‘will’ in Genesis 1:27(NLT). This verse informs us, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” We are created in God’s image. This means that we have an aspect of independence that allows us to make our own choices and decisions. Heavenly Father hopes that we will study His Word so it can guide us to make the very best choices and decisions. His Word will tell us about His expectations and commandments. It will tell us how we should act, think, feel, and speak. God hopes we will use our human-wills to partner with His Will, but often our wills fight against the very nature of God. This is the major problem we encounter in our desire for marriage, because what we think we want is often fighting against what God knows we need.

We live in a society that is getting further away from God’s standard. Many millennials believe His standard is outdated and that the Bible is not relevant to modern existence. Although this line of thinking is incredibly dangerous and dark, as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ who honor God, we need not worry. Proverbs 19:21(NLT) brings every attempt to subvert God’s Word to a screeching halt. It says, “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail.”

God tells us in Malachi 3:6(NLT), “I am the LORD, and I do not change.” Our Heavenly Father is brilliantly magnificent in every way imaginable. He is glorious beyond glory, intelligent beyond intelligence, and beautiful beyond beauty. He is Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and everywhere present. He doesn’t need anything more to be who He is. Everything, and I do mean everything, exists solely for His pleasure. Hebrews 13:8(NLT) declares, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” So, God’s Word will never change. It is life to the hearer and doer of it, and its standard will forever be the judge of whether a life is lived poorly or well.

When it comes to our wills and the way we want to live our lives, even some believers will ignore what God has commanded, and then expect Him to be okay with it. This is never more true than in the area of physical intimacy. Some Christian women believe that God is okay with it being a matter of personal choice regarding whether to entertain sexual sin or not. 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) has an altogether different approach to this matter. It tells us, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” Heavenly Father is looking for His daughters to rise up and make the choice to honor Him with their temples. He doesn’t want them to allow anyone or anything to come between them and living righteously for their King. He wants us to have the kind of mind-set that no matter what temptation the devil throws our way, we will keep our bodies as the holy temple God has commanded them to be.

The first sentence in 1Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) asks the question, “Don’t you realize…” It is asked rhetorically, with the expectation that this knowledge is Basics-101 in the beginner’s manual of spiritual maturity. It is asked to produce an effect, not necessarily an answer. It should resonate with every single woman out there who desires to partner up with a good man, because its wisdom reverses the curse of not receiving the blessing we desire most.

The Word of God teaches us how to live so that we keep His blessings flowing our way. Over time, I’ve had many conversations with single women that have entertained circumstances designed to interrupt God’s plan for their lives. Instead of fighting to honor God’s Word, they fight to keep the man satisfied by giving him their bodies. Not one second will they stop to consider that their bodies belong to God. Many of them never repent of this sin. Even if you aren’t aware or paying attention to what’s going on around you, you should pay close attention to what is going on inside of you. Your body is the temple of God; it’s where His Spirit lives. Surely, we cannot defile the temple, and then think those actions will be rewarded.

It is never worth it to step away from God’s standard. We must fight is to keep our minds and hearts anchored in the blessings that honoring His standards through obedience will bring. God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a plan for our lives, and it is to give us a future and a hope in Jesus Christ, our Lord. God’s plan will prevail, it’s the plan that yields success and our very best well-being.

We can come up with all kinds of rationales and excuses for why we’re not getting closer to the treasures God has in store for us. Some of us even blame Him for not moving on our behaves. But the bottom line is that God always and forever knows what is best for us, and He will always hold us accountable for upholding His standard.

And the reality is that until we stop doing the things that hold us back and begin to do the things that propel us forward, we are not going to progress to a level that will be satisfactory to our hearts. Every ounce of our faith, believing, and being must be saturated in the truth that God has the best plan for our lives, and it is our utter and complete responsibility to align ourselves with it. Our bodies are the temple of God’s Holy Spirit, and we must not only recognize this, but we must honor it with all that we are. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Is It Worth It to Step Away from God’s Standard?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 24, 2022
Should You Pursue A Man?

Whether or not a woman should pursue a man is a question that many women have been asking a long time. I’ve had this conversation with a few of my friends, and one of them was very adamant about her approach. She was divorced a few years ago and has loved being single. Admittedly, she’d like to marry again one day, but until it happens, she believes a woman has the responsibility of making things happen for herself. Known for her brazenness, it was no surprise to hear her say that she’s not one to wait on the man to make the first move. She said, “God gave you the ability to know what fits your needs, so if you see something you like, go for it.”

There are really two important troubled spots that we want to avoid in relationships with the significant people in our lives. One of them is heartache, and the other is a collision that lands you outside of God’s Will for your life. Both can send you catastrophically down the wrong path, where you could potentially spend the rest of your life paying for mistakes that could have been avoided.

Romans 8:29-30(NLT) says, “29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.” Look at God’s thoughts about us, and the wonderful plan He laid out for our lives. Long before we were born, He already knew all there is to know about us. We didn’t choose Him first, He chose us first, and He called us to come to Him. God didn’t leave our destinies to chance. He launched them further back in time than we can imagine. This is the framework that He has ordained for how we should approach our life’s journey. Everything about our lives should line up with His plan.

God has been gracious beyond what any of us could ever deserve, and He’s given us many blessings, but He didn’t give us the faith of Jesus Christ to promote our own agendas. He gave it to us to promote His agenda. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. So, if we leave our destinies up to our own ability to know what fits our needs, we could end up in a destination that takes us outside of God’s Word. That’s a dangerous place to be.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8(NLT), “For your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” There are two very important keys in the truth Jesus Christ teaches us in Matthew 6:8, and we can never afford to forget them. Number one, our Heavenly Father knows exactly what we need, and number two, He’s the One to ask when it comes to fulfilling every need that we perceive. We don’t just run off trying to fulfill them ourselves. The Apostle Paul said in 2Corinthians 3:5(NLT), “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.”

God’s Word is not old fashioned. It’s life! Thank Heavenly Father for His Word and the order He has given us so we can live an abundant life. Partnering is too important to leave to chance. Someone who looks right might be the biggest trick of the devil we could imagine; they could wreak total havoc on our lives. Pursuing a man just because he seems right, without having direction from God, might be society’s preferred way, but it can never be the way for a follower of Jesus Christ. We must always remember that when it comes to dating, there’s only one rule book and only one right way, it’s the Word of God. Pursue the Word, and the right man will pursue you.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Should You Pursue A Man?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 17, 2022
Live by His Power!

Ephesians 3:20(NLT) says, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” This verse is so extraordinarily wonderful that we can scarcely take it in. All praise to God, for He hasn’t kept this magnificent morsel of truth a secret! We can walk in God’s power, because it’s on the inside of born-again believers! This power unlocks the door to the kind of life that the Father wants to give us. Whether it’s a solution to a problem we’ve been having, a better job, a spouse, financial abundance, better relationships, or most importantly, spiritual growth in Christ; no matter the issue, God desires that we have a more than abundant life, and that we live it through the power of His Holy Spirit.

The beginning of Ephesians 3:20 says ‘all glory to God’. His glory is the foundation upon which all blessings rest. Our Heavenly Father is glorious! Everything He does is glorious, and He is deserving of all the glory there is. He created us as His children, and because of this, our lives should be to His glory as well. A very simple definition of the word ‘glory’ is highest honor. Glory is that which is brilliant, magnificent, and has unsurpassed radiance and beauty. This is a wonderful description of our Heavenly Father. And to think that He has empowered us through Jesus Christ so that our lives will be to His glory, this is just mind-boggling, but it is true. Through His mercy, grace, and Holy Spirit, God has empowered us to bring Him glory, and therefore be glorious ourselves. This is always the goal, and it is the key to living a blessed life.

God’s power is mighty, there is absolutely no question about this, and He tells us in Ephesians 3:20 that His mighty power is at work within us, His children. We must know that God can do exceedingly abundantly above anything that you or I can ask or think, but we must also know that He will not overstep our free-will in order to accomplish this. Heavenly Father works in us through His precious Holy Spirit, but sometimes, we refuse to be active in the work the Spirit is doing.

Jesus Christ said in John 16:13(NLT) that the Spirit that indwells us is the Spirit of Truth, and “he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.” The Spirit of Truth cannot guide us in a lie, so wherever a lie is present, it must be confronted and dismantled so that it does not block our way. For many of us, this is the problem; we won’t dismantle the lie and allow the Spirit to lead us in the truth.

God wants to accomplish something powerful in your life. The fullest expression of God’s love and power is contained within obedience. As soon as Adam and Eve stepped outside obedience, they became slaves to darkness and the Holy Spirit could not abide with them any longer. Because of Christ, God has made our bodies the temple of the Holy Spirit, and the Spirit abides within us. However, to see God’s power unleashed and activated in us through His Spirit, we must ask Him to remove the veil from our eyes so we can see. We must see the things that satan has done to keep us blinded, and we need to be praying to God to bring us out of any darkness, so we can see His power at work through His glorious light.

We can be empowered dynamically through God’s strength, so we can endure with great joy, and have faith in the victory He brings. This is His Will. Heavenly Father has made up His mind about us, but our minds need to be made up about Him. We need to fully participate in the light because our redemption was secured through Jesus Christ already. Any participation in darkness is an offense to our identity in Christ. If we’re still dabbling in those dark areas, we need to recognize it and make a change.

Paul said in Colossians 1:29 that he was laboring and striving according to the Spirit at work within him, and the Spirit was working in him mightily. We should be able to say the same thing. Paul also gives us danger signals about not seeking the truth, because if we fail to seek the truth, we cannot walk in the blessings of God in the way that God has ordained. One such warning is in Hebrew 2:1(NLT), where Paul says, “So we must listen very carefully to the truth we have heard, or we may drift away from it.”

Obedience to God may seem difficult at times for some Christians, but if we know and trust the truth, we will not disobey. Many women have made the mistake of drifting away from God’s truth for the sake of a man’s companionship. This is a blocker that we need to remove; a lie that we need to dismantle. The consequence of putting anything before our relationship with God is so severe and nothing is worth the pain it brings. We will live far beneath our privilege if we go this route.

We serve such a loving Heavenly Father. He grants to us such grace and mercy, and He forgives us for our ignorance and unwillingness to seek Him first in all that we do. But He expects that we will eventually wake up to the reality that our destiny is to walk in His power so that our lives bring Him glory. Jesus Christ said about the Holy Spirit in John 16:14(NLT), “He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me.” Hear what Jesus Christ is saying through his Spirit, so that he receives the glory. Be led of the Holy Spirit and do not lean on your own understanding. Continue to seek and pray that God’s Will is done in your life. He knows exactly what will bring Him glory, and if you commit to obedience, you will know it too.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Live by His Power!” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 10, 2022
Who Do You Belong To?

A wonderful sister in Christ had her first date with someone that she’s known for a while, but he was never really on her radar. The date went rather well, and she felt really good about things. A few days after their date, she wondered whether it was a good idea for her to reach out and make contact, because she hadn’t heard anything from him since the date. When she asked for my opinion, I in turn asked her one question, “Who do you belong to?” She knew instantly what I meant. She affirmed it with a nod and replied “God!” My question had absolutely nothing to do with arrogance, and it has everything to do with faith. If you’ve been praying for God to bless you with your destiny partner, you must have confidence that when he meets you, he will know who you are.

Dating is one of the areas in life where a person can think they are walking by faith, but fear is the thing that motivates a lot of their actions. It is important for us to understand that faith does not respond to a whim. It’s not wishy washy, or ambiguous. You either have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ or you don’t. It is impossible to operate by both faith and fear. We can’t serve two masters. We have to chose which one we’re going to stand on.

It is very common in a situation like my friend experienced for the woman to feel as though she might have said or done something to offend, or that perhaps the man was left with the impression she wasn’t interested. She might think, “Maybe I should give things a nudge.” The thoughtful creatures that many women are, we immediately go into ‘fix it’ mode. This isn’t going to be helpful towards your confidence or his.

What will be helpful is to take a closer examination of how faith operates. Mark 9 gives us the record of a Father that was desperately seeking help for his son. The boy was possessed by a demon, and the father had gone to some of the disciples to cast the demon out of the boy. They were not able to do it. A crowd had gathered around the disciples because of the spectacle of this father and son. Jesus approached them and asked what was happening. The boy’s father spoke up and explained the situation. He then said to Jesus in Mark 9:22(NKJV), “But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”

“IF” is not strong enough to connect and move faith to manifest results, because “IF” does not equal the truth. 2Corinthians 1:20(NLT) says, “For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” This is the mindset of a fully persuaded believer; it’s the mindset that our powerful Lord deserves. Jesus Christ didn’t abandon the boy’s father and leave him with his “IF”, he helped him to get his mind right. Jesus said to him in Mark 9:23(NKJV), “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” The father then said, “Lord I believe, but I may need some help. Please help my unbelief.” Jesus then healed the boy and casted out the evil spirit.

The right man for you is never an “IF”. He’s a resounding “Yes!” Do you believe this? Amos 3:3(NIV) is the question that sets the stage for razor sharp wisdom. It says, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” No person can make or force an individual to give something they are not willing to give. As women, we must come into agreement with God’s order, purpose, and Will. We cannot second guess His staggering genius and intellect. He created men and women to respond to each other in a certain way, and He made sure that a man will recognize his spouse and will not stop until he has made this queen his wife. This is what all real men do.

You are not a defective product that needs repair, and neither is your future spouse. Want what God has for you and nothing less. Time expended on the wrong one is time better spent sharpening your faith for the right one. Have faith in God. He cannot fail and He never disappoints. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Who Do You Belong To?” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

January 3, 2022
When Impressing God Is Your Number One Goal

Walking away from a relationship can be one of the most emotionally challenging things for a person to go through. Any sister in Christ that has waited a long time to meet someone she believes is compatible knows firsthand how emotional the wait can be. It can give your faith a workout. There are times when you feel upbeat and optimistic, then, there are other times when it feels like you’re just not going to meet the right person. It can be a roller-coaster, one that you can’t wait to get off. So, when you do finally meet someone, and you think things might work out, it can be devastating when it doesn’t. The last thing you want to do is think about drudging through that desert place again.

It is crucial that we remind ourselves constantly that God is faithful. He never slumbers or sleeps, and no detail about our lives escapes Him. We must never forget that God knows the person that is going to be a great blessing to our lives, and this is the person for which we, too, will be the greatest blessing. But God also knows our hearts. He knows our motives and intentions, and He knows whether or not we are spiritually prepared to be the kind of blessing He wants us to be.

Yes, it is devastating when we recognize we have to let someone go, and it can be even more hurtful when they decide to let us go. In either case, you have to see heartbreak as a conduit to a more compassionate, thoughtful, and spiritually mature you. We can never escape the reality of our call to pray and touch the lives of others through intercession. We have to ask God if we have fulfilled this call to His satisfaction.

A Godly sorrow is something that no believer can fake. It is when sorrow goes so deep within you that your soul is moved beyond your understanding. It is the place where we feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and it is also the place where we learn to pull strength, abiding love, and caring support for God’s people. It’s this deep place that extends to us the capacity to pray earnestly for the pain that others are going through. Some of us have not learned to do this. We can do it for ourselves, but we haven’t yet cultivated that space where we are touching God’s heart with prayer for someone other than ourselves, someone we may not even know.

We have to think about things like this, so that we learn the lesson of our heartbreak. And make no mistake, there is very definitely a lesson and we should do all we can to learn it. Why is learning this lesson so monumentally important to your preparation towards meeting and marrying the right person for you? Well, it’s so important because Heavenly Father wants you to know a little something about the depth of the heart. None of us can fully know what is in another person’s heart or what their motives are for doing what they do, but you can have some idea about it. When you have some idea about the heart, and how earnest prayer can transform it, you can be trusted with information that only the Spirit can provide.

We must be clear, if we do not begin to love and pray out of that deep well where our hearts were once broken; if we do not let the love of God minister to that broken place; if we do not then begin to minister out of that deep place ourselves, we won’t recognize a man that is living from that deep place as well. He will walk right on by us, and we will walk by him, and no connection can be made. This is the man we have prayed to partner with, and this is the kind of faithful man the Lord wants to present to us. This man has the capacity to love his wife as Jesus Christ loves the church and gave his life for her. God will not go beneath His standard. He calls upon us to rise up to it, so we can meet Him in the place of His blessing.

God is impressed by what we do to grow spiritually. He’s impressed by how we deal with the heartbreak and the strength and wisdom we glean from it. We cannot overlook the things that mean so much to God. He knows how to bless us. He said in Isaiah 45:3(NLT), “And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.” Our Heavenly Father knows where the treasures are. Treasures are His business, but we cannot get them by trying to impress other people. When we impress God with a heart that is sold-out for Him, when we make this our number one goal, He will release the treasure. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“When Impressing God Is Your Number One Goal”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 29, 2021
God’s Love Is the Glue for Marriage

There are many single believers in Christ that have been searching a long time for something that will help them in their quest for marriage. It’s a worthwhile endeavor, because Jesus Christ said in Matthew 7:7(NLT), “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” Our Heavenly Father has made it very clear to us that we must seek Him first, and we must seek Him diligently. And this diligence requires our persistence, but many Christian singles believe they’ve been very persistent in their prayers about marriage, and they are wondering when it is going to yield results.

When we’ve prayed for something a very long time and there isn’t the movement in our circumstances that we expect, people will sometimes tell us that our faith is the issue. They say we don’t have enough of it. Well, the Lord Jesus Christ tells us that all it takes is a mustard seed’s worth to move a mountain, so we can know definitively that he doesn’t have a problem with doling out all the faith we need. He has it in unlimited supply; therefore, most of us have enough faith to accomplish whatever it is that God desires us to do. So, when it comes to the faith we already have, God’s Word tells us that what’s very important to God is how this faith gets expressed.

To express something is to somehow take that which has unexposed potential and expose it. We live in an environment today where people are expressing a whole lot of emotions and sides of themselves, but some of this is better left unexposed. These expressions may have potential, but not the kind that benefits God’s purpose. As believers, we ought to be chiefly interested in the things in which God’s Kingdom gets the glory, and He tells us in Galatians 5:6 that what’s major in His book is that our faith gets expressed through His love.

Sometimes our definition of love and God’s love are out of sync. Our born-again reality means that we can love others and ourselves through Christ, but it is very possible that God wants to see us walking in His love more fully. Some of our relationships of the past ended in heartache. As uncomfortable as it can be, we need to examine how we could have handled things differently. Relationships don’t make it for lots of reasons. Sometimes it is because the person was not meant to journey with us any further, and sometimes it is because there was some aspect of God’s love that we hadn’t yet figured out how to demonstrate. If this is the case, if there are aspects of God’s love that are necessary for marriage and we haven’t yet put these yummies in our hearts, then this must be corrected through repentance and by renewing our minds.

1Corinthians 13:1-7(NLT) gives us God’s expectation for how love should operate. This passage tells us: 1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

You and I may have love for someone, but if this love isn’t wrapped in God’s standard, and if we have not renewed our minds to it, 1Corinthians 13:3 tells us that we will not gain anything. 1John 4:8 affirms that God is love. It isn’t just what He does, it’s who He is. As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, love must be who we are. God demonstrates for us that love is more than an emotion, it’s a commitment. It is action in the highest sense of the word. You and I are not in a position to dictate how love is defined or how it should look; God has already done this. Love is His standard, and because it is the glue that holds relationships together, God holds us responsible for demonstrating that we are committed to love someone with the love of Christ.

If we have the notion in our heads that love is based on feelings, we will be in and out of love all the time. We will leave a marriage based on whether or not we feel loved by the other person. We will hold them responsible for making us happy and not take responsibility for failing to put on the joy of the Lord in our own hearts. So, as single believers, we will have to move past allowing feelings to lead our hearts, instead we must let the Lord do this. Because in this most important aspect of our lives as it pertains to marriage, we must lean on God and not on our own understanding. Now is the time to make this a habit pattern so that we are anchored in the love of God, because His love must be the foundation upon which our future marriage will rest. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“God’s Love Is the Glue for Marriage” written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2021. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

December 20, 2021