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Tag: Christian Advice for Singles

A Union Ordained and Blessed by God

If we ask God to bless us in a certain area, and we haven’t seen any movement whatsoever, are we to surmise that God didn’t hear us the first time we prayed, or is He just not ready for us to have what we asked for? Someone posed these questions to me the other day. At first I was hesitant to respond immediately, because people are used to hearing the same answers to questions like these. We’re told “You need to keep the faith!” or “You need to be more patient…” And let’s not forget, “Sometimes God tells us ‘NO!’ and we need to accept it!” That’s the one I like least. The last thing any Christian would want to do is discourage someone from continuing to trust the mighty power of God. Proverbs 27:17(NLT) tells us, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” So, we very definitely should encourage each other as single Christians, but as some of us continue to wade through what can seem like a molasses of loneliness, how do we give answers that will bring real and lasting comfort?

Marriage is the most important decision any human-being can make in their lives outside of receiving our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is not a simple thing or something we should ever take lightly, and the majority of us have made this mistake. Because we have not placed marriage in its proper spiritual context, our desire for it loses the Christ-element that God requires. It can be challenging to communicate this in a simple explanation.

It is beyond crucial that we make the right decision regarding marriage, and Heavenly Father makes this very clear. A critical aspect to marriage that we forget or overlook is the truth that it is God’s institution, and He set the standard for it. Jesus Christ tells us about this standard in Matthew 19, when Pharisees, trying to test him, asked if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason. He told them that God made human-beings male and female; because of this, a man will be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

This is God’s standard, not ours, and the implications are so deeply and spiritually impactful that we would be shocked to know how much. We forget that marriage is a covenant in which the partners are ordained by God long before they are born. Yet, many of us chose to marry someone that isn’t the person Heavenly Father ordained to be with us. We do the choosing, have a ceremony, and then ask God to bless something He never ordained. That’s not working out too well for a whole lot of folks.

The reason why this is so important to get right is because of what Jesus Christ says in verse 6(NLT), “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” These are the words of our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ. He said “LET NO ONE separate a union that God has joined together. Can you imagine the price one pays for separating what God has put together?

Jesus Christ said that adultery is the only grounds that are recognized by Heavenly Father for which divorce is an option. So, we can see that marriage in Heavenly Father’s eyes is very serious business, and as singles looking to partner, we should only desire the person God desires for us. Many singles don’t have this mind-and-heart-set, and this is why many marital unions today are not put together by God. Sometimes we see individuals that are just depleted in every way from an unhappy marriage, because they married someone that was never meant to be a destiny partner.

Maybe you’ve heard a dear sister say, “I’ve been asking God to bless me with a husband, and for whatever reason, I can’t get a man to even look my way. It must be that God isn’t ready to bless me yet, because I don’t believe it’s me.” I’ve heard this many times, and each time it tugs at my heart, because I know the emotional struggle that comes with being single longer than you’d like. But sisters, we must be spiritually anchored in Christ to be ready to partner.

God knows our hearts. In Deuteronomy 11:22(NLT), Moses told God’s people, “Be careful to obey all these commands I am giving you. Show love to the Lord your God by walking in His ways and holding tightly to Him.” This is the heart that God is waiting on us to develop. He has watched to see if we will wait for the man that He has ordained, or if we will be impatient and choose someone without getting His stamp of approval. Many of us have not proved our faithfulness in this area. We’ve sinned against our body-temples with men who were not ordained as our covenant partners, and we never truly repented for this sin.

Our Heavenly Father loves us so much. He gave us His Word, the example of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and the indwelling Holy Spirit, so that we can have a relationship with Him that meets His standard. When it does, all the other relationships we cultivate will flow out of a well of love so tremendous that blessings chase us down. This is what every single believer needs to know. Marriage is not necessary to live this kind of blessed existence, but if we desire it, we must walk in the way of God’s Word and hold tightly to Heavenly Father, so that our future marital union is an ordained and blessed one. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“A Union Ordained and Blessed by God” written for FindingChristianMan.com©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

September 23, 2018
She’s Made ‘Doubt’ Her Friend and ‘Faith’ Her Enemy

Mark 11:23-24(NLT)
“I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, may you be lifted up and thrown into the sea, and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. 24 I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.”

Jesus Christ told us that if we say to this mountain, “be lifted up and thrown into the sea”, it will happen. But here’s the thing, you must really believe that it’s going to happen, and you must not have doubt in your heart. Many of us will probably not admit it, but having doubt in our hearts is where we miss the boat. Doubt is a dream killer, and it’s a sneaky thing too. We may think we’re trusting God enough. We think that if we keep begging and repeating the same prayer, after a while, it’s going to happen. And when it doesn’t happen, when the prayer request we desire most doesn’t materialize, many of us lose it!

God doesn’t withhold blessings. He doesn’t punish us, and He never makes a mistake. So, if it’s not God, we have to take a blatantly honest look at ourselves. 2Corinthians 13:5 (NKJV) says, “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith.” This is really difficult for many women to do. They can’t bring themselves to consider that something they may be doing or something they may NOT be doing is blocking their blessing.

God isn’t telling us to take a good long look in the mirror to place us in self-condemnation. He wants to help us put some corrective measures in place. 2Timothy 3:16 tells us that ALL scripture is God breathed, and is useful to teach us the truth, and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. The scripture corrects us when we’re going off the rails, and it instructs us in God’s righteousness. Whenever you and I have an attitude that’s continually open to correction by God’s Word, it delights the Holy Spirit that dwells within. Our humility gives him permission to help us get rid of the things that are holding us back.

This week, I had a conversation with a woman who for many years has made a habit pattern of doubt, and refuses to admit it. She simply doesn’t trust God’s Word enough, and it is evident by her actions. She told me a female friend of hers recently called her up out of the blue to ask for a picture of her. She thought it was an odd request. It turns out that her friend’s boyfriend has a brother, and she wanted to introduce them to each other. I thought it was a very nice gesture, but as she’s done many times before, this woman immediately began a recitation of what she will and will not accept, and this new guy would have to check off the requirements on her list before she would agree to provide the picture.

Every woman has the right to want what she wants, but when we don’t give our desires to God and allow Jesus Christ to spearhead the process, we’re not on the winning side. We can’t control all the details, and when we make a habit pattern of trying to do this, we make ‘doubt’ our friend and ‘faith’ our enemy. We cut off ourselves from the blessing God wants to introduce into our lives.

Baggage is an equal opportunity employer, and we all have it. We have to recognize this. It’s the only way to move it out of our way. Being flexible and humble when it comes to God’s Will for our lives is a requirement, but some of us are simply too stubborn and arrogant to get out of our own way. This keeps us stuck.

1John 5:14(NLT) tells us, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” Faith requires us to ask according to God’s Will; not our will, but His. He knows what’s best for us. Rather than trying to control the outcomes, we need to simply pray and ask Heavenly Father to keep us in His Will. Romans 8:28 tells us that He causes everything to work together for our good. Yes, sometimes, faith also requires us to step outside our comfort zones, but we’ve got to be willing to squash the habits that keep us stuck, and be obedient to God so that we can move forward in our quest for a successful marital union.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“She’s Made ‘Doubt’ Her Friend and ‘Faith’ Her Enemy”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

September 16, 2018
The Toad Doesn’t Always Turn into a Prince

Lachelle told me that she never loved a man as much as she loved Joe. I knew Joe before she met him. He is a handsome guy, but not overly so, and I found him to be kinda’ quiet. No one would accuse him of being too friendly, but he seemed nice enough. I had always heard that he has a bit of a mean streak, but was conscious of it and tried to hide it. My sister says that you have to watch out for the quiet ones because they always have something to hide, and you wouldn’t want to be the one to find out what it is. In my view, that’s a pretty accurate description of Joe.

I was also struck by how little affection I saw them display as a couple. Normally, this is no big deal. There are plenty of compassionate and kind people that aren’t that keen on public displays of affection, but Lachelle is a notorious hugger and is one of the most affectionate persons I know. At first, I didn’t understand the changes I noticed in her, but one day it all made sense. Joe had no doubt touched something in her soul that she responded to deeply, but he was also physically abusive. She excused it away as him loving her passionately, and not being able to control it sometimes.

Like a lot of abuse victims, Lachelle tried covering the bruises with too much make-up or refusing to meet up with us because her body (and soul) was too sore from the fight the night before. After around ten times or so of witnessing the aftermath of his anger, I stopped counting the times I suspected they had been fighting. They weren’t married, and sometimes she would swear to us that she would leave the relationship for sure, but time after time Lachelle went back to Joe. It wasn’t my first time seeing this kind of obsession play out in a relationship. You want so desperately to help, but the people involved have to want help.

Sometimes, we teach ourselves to have wrong beliefs about love. Too many romantic fairytales, movies, and myths cloud our heads, and we start to believe that we’re missing something that only a prince on a white horse can give us. We wait and wait for him to come to our rescue. And even though we’ve not learned to discern whether someone is a real toad who’s just playing the role of a prince, some of us latch on to him. We do so because the proverbial toad has been playing the role long enough to spot a particular yearning in the princess, and he knows exactly how to pounce on it.

In John 8:32, Jesus Christ said that the truth will set us free. This is a razor-sharp piece of yumminess that will keep God’s children on the path of their destinies, but one thing is required, and it is that we understand what it means to be free. God created us out of His love. He created us to be children of light! 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) says, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” In this verse, we can clearly see that God has made a distinct separation between light and darkness. From light, we get qualities synonymous with intelligence, liberty, confidence, love, joy, and peace. From darkness, we get the exact opposite; we get qualities that represent ignorance, bondage, fear, hate, sadness, and chaos. So, there can be no question that God’s Will for His children is that we be free, and not weighted down by bondage in any area of our lives. God’s standard for right living is one of liberty. That’s good news indeed!

1Corinthians 13:5(NLT) tells us that love “does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” If we are going to live with authenticity, with the conviction of purpose and gratitude, we can’t do it by gobbling up myths and lies about what life is and how it’s supposed to be lived. Nor do we have time to label something ‘LOVE’ when it’s not love at all, but a plot sent from hell to manipulate us out of our destinies. Those unable to acknowledge that they are being used for darkness, and not light, will sometimes hide behind the wickedness of abuse, but ultimately, they will be exposed. When they are, those that have suffered their wrath must have the courage to see them for what they are.

A prince is a gallant individual that helps you shine, and will never do anything to hinder or cause you to hide your light. This is the kind of person you deserve. An abuser is often a toad that will never transform into a prince. He can’t even rescue himself from darkness, so it would be a mistake to assume that he can help rescue you. Be rescued by the light of Christ, and be willing to wait for the prince God will bring across your path. He may not have a white horse, but he knows the light and will help to preserve it in you.■

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

“The Toad Doesn’t Always Turn into a Prince” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

September 9, 2018
Is There A Formula To Meeting Someone New?

Jesus Christ said in John 15:8(NLT), “When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.” Notice the distinction that Christ made between disciples, and ‘true disciples’. The added adjective ‘true’ makes a big deal. It singles out the fact that there’s an undeniable quality of truth that distinguishes those in the faith that are producing fruit and those that are not. You can’t be in the producing business without knowledge, and this is why this teaching is so incredibly and immensely important to the single Christian woman that is desiring to partner.

I pray with everything in my being that you will take the time to read this teaching, because the Word of God that it contains can impact your endeavors to partner in such a major way. As you know, knowledge is one of the golden keys to exercising the power of Christ in our lives. The more you know about the Word of God, the more you increase in every way imaginable. The truth, if believed, will always yield positive results. And that’s really what a formula is all about—achieving results.

Is There a Formula?

In everyday life, from the workplace to recreation, if we follow protocols, procedures, and directions; ultimately, we will yield the thing of which we’ve sought to achieve. God has blessed us with the wherewithal to comprehend this. Most of us have an expectation that if we do what is required, a result will be achieved. If we expect this in everyday life, why would we expect less from God’s Word.

God’s Word works with a mathematical precision. He’s exact and so is His Word. We can count on it with razor sharp specificity, and its promises will never fail us; not ever! So with this being said, is there a biblical formula for meeting a solid brother—a good dude in the Lord—and then partnering up?

Just about any dictionary will tell us that a formula is a concise or exact way of expressing information, to the end that a concise or exact result is achieved. A formula is something that we humans use to break down information so that it makes sense to us, and so that it can then be used as a building block for greater insight and understanding. God doesn’t need formulas. He’s omnisciently perfect and knows everything there is to know. We, on the other hand, need ways to dissect and break down information so that we can take it in bit by bit. Throughout history God has been incredibly patient as we’ve done this with His Word.

He designed our brains to compute and extract the fundamental components of learning in many, many ways. So, you might not like the word ‘formula’, but it doesn’t matter what you call it, the knowledge of God’s Word activates our faith in Christ to such a degree that we can ask the Father for anything according to His Will, and He will do it. If you’ve asked, and asked, and asked—and you’re still locking lips with toads, at some point you’ve got to deduce that something in your faith arsenal is missing in action.

These missing pieces are pieces of information that you’ve yet to discover about God’s Word and the person of Jesus Christ. These are missing pieces of the formula that your brain and heart need in order to trigger an avalanche of new revelation and comprehension. Once discovered, learned, and put into practice, these pieces of the formula will stir up the gift within you and elevate your faith to such a degree that you can’t help but to walk with greater vigor and power. This is the place where you are poised to run smack dab in the face of your future honey.

What It Takes…

Running in to someone cute and new doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be skipping down that aisle real soon. You’ve got to keep on saturating your mind and heart with truth. Listen, you may cross path with a ton of dudes, and one of them may be Mr. Right—he just may be the one, and that’s wonderful, but you have no idea at this point the amount of spiritual growth, tenacity, love, and faith that it will take. To move things from “Sure like you a lot” to “I LOVE YOU!”, you need the glue of the Holy Ghost, because without it a relationship can turn to dust in less time than a blink of an eye, especially if you make the wrong moves, and make them too quickly.

The bottom line is that you’ve got to produce! If you haven’t produced fruit for the Kingdom, how can you produce fruit that sustains a marriage? God is a God of order. First things first. Nothing happens without faith, and God requires us to exercise it first on HIS business, then the other things come easy to us. Faith is the stuff God used to create, and He has given it to us to build something wonderful for His kingdom. He wants you to partner so that you and hubby can create something beautiful together. But right now, your faith needs to be strengthened in the Lord.

Your relationship with God must be tighter. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:33 that seeking the Kingdom of God and His righteousness must be first on our priority lists. This must always be our first action-step in any formula. God’s Will comes first! You need to see Him greater and you may also need a greater revelation concerning the person of Jesus Christ. So the formula for meeting Mr. Right is the same formula for spiritual growth. You’ve got to stay in the Word, understand what you read and study, believe it with your whole heart, and then act upon it! That’s a formula that never fails. ■

“Is There A Formula To Meeting Someone New?”written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

September 2, 2018
The Lord Sees It Differently

1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

There are varying opinions with biblical scholars over whether Jesse had seven or eight sons, as one record in 1 Samuel 16 in the Old Testament mentions eight, and the other record in 1 Chronicles 2:13-15 mentions seven. It is entirely possible that one son passed away, but there is no contradiction in God’s Word; of this we must be sure. The record in 1Samuel 16 tells us that God sent Samuel, the prophet, to anoint David as the King of Israel. By all outward appearances, Jesse thought that any one of his seven sons would be the one that Samuel might choose. They were older, taller, and muscular looking men, but thank goodness God doesn’t look at us in the way that we look at each other. He looks at our hearts.

I can’t help but think of the many single women that are holding out for a man that fits their image of how he ought to look. They have it down to complexion, height, build, and level of facial attractiveness. If a man shows up, and he looks significantly different than the image they have in their minds, he’s relegated to the ‘not a possibility’ column with all due haste.

We often talk about this being a tough one, because physical attraction is important in a marital relationship, but it’s not the principal thing. Some of us make it so. It boils down to a matter of priorities, and God sets those. He values your spiritual growth and the spiritual growth of your future spouse more than any other thing. And He tells us very straightforwardly in Matthew 6:33(NKJV), “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” If we don’t hold what God thinks is important at the top of our lists, we will continue to attract the very opposite of what is best for the path God has laid before us.

Heavenly Father looks at the heart, because Proverbs 4:23 tells us that the issues of life spring forth from the heart. If our hearts are out of alignment with the Will of God for us, we run the risk of not being satisfied with the choices we make. It’s just that simple. We’ll be in a constant state of discomfort because our real self, the spirit ‘you’, has been betrayed by our wrong choice. We must be fully persuaded that the only way to honor the Christ in us is to be guided by the indwelling Holy Spirit, so that we please God and live through Christ. God wants us to be pleased with the person that is to be our partner, but our faith that He will not disappoint us with His presentation is a must. ■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“The Lord Sees It Differently”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

August 26, 2018
On My Own Terms

Proverbs 13:12(NLT) says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” This is one of those yummies of truth that every single woman who desires to be married should digest completely. It will require us to ponder this wisdom very carefully. It is necessary that we begin by examining the word ‘hope’; it ought to be one of every Christian’s favorite words. Hope is a joyful expectation, and if we’re being honest, a lot of us single sisters don’t have it. We have an expectation when it comes to the type of partner we desire. We may even have an expectation about the details of the wedding, but for many of us the joy is missing in action. It is imperative that we get on the case pronto with this one, because if our hope is in Christ, joy must be its defining characteristic.

Many of us that have been praying to cross paths with our future marital partners would say we know a little bit about ‘hope deferred’. We may even go so far as to say we’ve kissed our fair share of toads, and none of them have turned into a prince. In our estimation, the elusive Mr. Right is our hope deferred, and we can attest that after a few years of waiting, it can make the heart sick. There’s very little worse than having your expectations raised, only to have them doused. This is what makes many of our sisters in Christ reluctant about putting themselves out there, as they might have in the past.

Here’s the thing that our Precious Heavenly Father wants us to chew on, when our hope is in Christ, the desire of our hearts is never indefinitely deferred. If what you and I desire is according to the Will and Word of God, it WILL come to pass. Some of us are not sure it’s the Will of God for us to be married, and this is the hurdle that we have to get over in order to cultivate faith in our quests.

Marriage is God’s institution. He ordained it. Heavenly Father could have left Adam by his lonesome, but God didn’t do this. In Genesis 2:18(NKJV), He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” It is very important that Christians learn the deep connection of a union, and one of the reasons God set up marriage is to teach us the greatest lessons about unity in Christ. For those who desire to marry, God desires it for them more than they can ever desire it for themselves.

God is not withholding the blessing of a spouse. So, we have to ask ourselves a hard question that requires a brutally honest answer. Are we deferring our hopes because we want everything on our own terms? One of my sister-friends said this to me the other day. She said that she’s been willing to accept so much and make so many concessions for men in the past, and it still doesn’t work out. Now, because of the disappointments in her past relationships, she believes she’s entitled to have things on her terms, and has adopted an approach of inflexibility. This is certainly understandable, given that we sometimes exhaust a lot of emotional energy and time into the wrong situation. But it could be that she is backing herself further in a corner and putting more separation between her and the blessing she expects.

Isaiah said in Isaiah 64:8(NLT), “And yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter.” When our hopes are in OUR dreams, and not in the dream God has for us, disappointments are likely to happen. The dream Heavenly Father has for us is a tree of life that keeps on giving. It’s a dream that we ought to be joyful, excited, and fully invested, because God is going to make it happen. Proverbs 23:17-18 tells us that when our hearts are anchored in obeying His Word and honoring Him, He will reward us and our hope will not be disappointed.

The psalmist wrote in Psalm 25:11-12(NLT), “11 For the honor of your name, O LORD, forgive my many, many sins. 12 Who are those who fear the LORD? He will show them the path they should choose.” God knows best when it comes to your future, and He requires that Jesus Christ is at the center of your desire to marry, so that you will follow the path that He has laid before you. When Christ is our focus, it means that our desire is based on the call to be a loving example of his love. The Holy Spirit will produce joy within because our hope is in Christ, and because our heart is to please God by being the kind of wife He desires us to be. Sign over your quest for marriage to God’s terms, and let your terms take a backseat; then your hope will change from deferred to fulfilled, because Jesus Christ will make your dream a tree of life.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“On My Own Terms” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

August 19, 2018
Building Love and Keeping It Strong

One of the most sound pieces of advice that I can give to single women is to be as discreet and private as possible when it comes to your personal life; especially at the very beginning of a new relationship. I’ve counseled many women in this area, many of them have lived to regret being so open and candid to their friends about the new man in their life. If you heed my advice, it’s very possible that you may come across as secretive to some. That’s ok! Discretion is very important to God. We know this because there’s a lot He has placed in His Word for us to know, but there are many more mysteries that He hasn’t revealed; and He has good reason.

Jesus Christ gave us a warning in Mathew 6:1-4(NLT). This passage tells us, “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. 2 When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. 3 But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. 4 Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.”

The context of this passage is about giving, sharing, and being of service. That sounds a whole lot like marriage, doesn’t it?!! Our Master Jesus cuts right down to the meat of the matter as he warns us about our motives for putting our kind deeds on blast. We’re very often motivated out of a need to be admired by others. We want them to be impressed with what we’ve got going on. Jesus has stamped this practice with a serious “NO!”

Marriage is increase! It’s the most substantial investment in another’s life that a person can make. As a good steward, we should endeavor to show ourselves worthy. Part of this good practice is keeping quiet about certain details regarding what God is doing in this area of our lives. Jesus tells us that if we’re continually spilling the beans and showboating, that’s all the reward we’ll get. This is not what we want, Sisters. We should want God to reward us by preserving our relationships and causing them to flourish in every way.

Jesus instructs us not to let the left hand know what the right hand is doing. The wisdom of this is breathtaking. Jesus knows that the enemy can’t steal what he can’t see. As Godly women partnering with the Lord to protect our unions, we should not let our business slip out in the open; then we won’t let the devil see what is unspoken. A person can give the enemy eyes to see and ears to hear if they’re always speaking about their hidden treasures. The longer you keep it quiet, the more chance you give yourself and the relationship to grow.

We also have to make sure that what we’re dealing with is truly a presentation of the Lord. There’s always a possibility that the person we think is Mr. Right is actually Mr. Right for Now, but not for the future. We need time to access and test.

Being discreet about our new relationships has nothing to do with fear. God tells us in 1John 4:18(NLT) that “Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” Love obliterates fear, but we have a responsibility to walk in a spiritually mature Christ-kind-of-love. This means we must comprehend that being discreet is a discipline that goes with love. Again, being discreet helps us to build a relationship, and keep it strong. If you’ll pray about this, the indwelling Holy Spirit will help you stay on the right path. So make a conscious effort to have self-control in this area. Let the Spirit guide you regarding what you can, can’t or shouldn’t say regarding your new relationship. If the Spirit doesn’t release you to speak it forth, keep it quiet.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Building Love and Keeping it Strong” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

August 13, 2018
Red Flags and Flashing Lights

It isn’t enough to tell you not to do something that will adversely impact your quest to get married. In order to provide you with substantive tools that will greatly aid your quest, you have to know WHY you should or should not do something. The right knowledge is power, and the source of all right knowledge is God’s Word. It is the definitive authority on everything that there is. Heavenly Father tells us in 2Peter 1:3 that through His divine power, He’s given us everything we need for living a good and Godly life. He’s provided us access to this kind of life through the knowledge of His Son, Jesus Christ. So, everything that you and I could possibly need to be fulfilled, accomplished, and happy can be obtained by living our lives by the example of Jesus Christ. Whenever we veer away from living our Christ reality, red flags go up and flashing lights appear. When it comes to your quest for marriage, you have to ask yourself if you’re ignoring the warnings.

In Romans 12:1(NIV), God tells us, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” God wants to live through us so that we are more effective in introducing His Kingdom on earth, and so that our experience of life on earth is more fulfilling and abundant. He desires to work in us to will and do of His good pleasure. He never takes from us, but gives continually; and in Romans 12:1, He’s asking us to give Him greater space in which to work in our lives. He’s asking that we present ourselves before Him as a living sacrifice. This informs us right off the bat that sacrifice is a very important piece to living through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is also a very essential component to preparing for and maintaining a marriage.

In order to rescue believers from the pit of hell and purchase us back from the ruler of darkness, Jesus had to offer his life as a sacrifice for our sins. He had to die the most horrific death imaginable. Hebrews 12:2 tells us that this was a price he paid gladly because of the joy that was set before him—the joy of having us, you and me, in God’s family. He did it to please the Father, and because of his great love for us all. You and I were not capable of ransoming ourselves from the devil. Our sinful nature kept us locked in his dungeon of darkness and despair. But although we could never have paid the price that Jesus paid, we should understand the pattern that he’s set. Through his example, Jesus Christ has demonstrated pure faith. He showed us that sacrifice is endured gladly when the joy of the reward is believed wholeheartedly.

Do you believe God will bless you with a good and Godly husband?
Have you sacrificed fleshly pleasures because of the conviction of your faith?

There can be no question that there are going to be some things we have to give up in order to gain more and go higher. Some of those are things we find pleasurable. Everything in life, and when I say ‘everything’, I mean EVERYTHING in life is spiritual. If you want to understand the ‘why’ of things, you must put them in the context of spiritual. God is a Spirit. He created everything there is, and everything that He created was intended to flow harmoniously with His divine Will, which is good and perfect in every way. Whenever the intention of our minds and hearts seeks to step outside the Will of God, we will experience in life what amounts to red flags and flashing lights. These come in the form of interrupted peace, mistakes, missteps, and hiccups. We would do ourselves the greatest favor by taking corrective spiritual action before things become worse.

In Matthew 16:19, Jesus Christ declared that He’s given us the keys to the Kingdom, which means whatever we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven; whatever we bind on earth, will be bound in heaven. When it comes to the choices and decisions we make daily, we have only these two buckets of which to cast our energy and resources. We either bind or loose. SIN binds, OBEDIENCE loosens.

It’s important to understand this because we don’t always make the best choices when it comes to honoring our temples. We can’t partner with sin and expect a Godly result. Heavenly Father is a God of order, and obedience to Him requires that we follow His Word. Women hold the keys to a happy and fulfilling marriage through being obedient to God’s Word. You represent the greatest asset in your own quest to partner in marriage, but understand that God can’t help you partner in sin. He’s helping you prepare for what you’ve been about by loosening the walls around your heart, so that you love freely and unconditionally, through HIM! Red flags and flashing lights in your circumstances are queuing you in that disobedience has reared its ugly head. Don’t ignore the signs. Line up your actions and decisions with God’s Word.■

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

“Red Flags and Flashing Lights” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

July 29, 2018
Dust It off and Keep It Moving

John 3:20-21(NLT)
“All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.”

I had a conversation with my nephew a couple of weeks ago, and he said something that was really astounding to me. It was a revelation, and immediately drew my attention to John 3:20-21 like a lightning rod. For a while, he noticed something about some of his friends. Whenever they’d stop by, they would only go as far as the front steps of his home. He was kind and courteous, and of course invited them in, but they always decline and say they’ll catch up with him later. He mentioned that although he’d spoken to them about Jesus Christ, they never really had an interest, and didn’t care to know more about our Lord and Savior.

My nephew concluded that some of his friends were refusing the light and as a result, could not tolerate what the light of Christ exposes. Based on the truth that our Blessed Lord and Savior shared with us in John 3:20-21, my nephew is exactly right. When you love the Lord, and carry His love in your heart, it will either attract the light to you or it will certainly dispel the darkness around you. The truth of this passage in John 3 declares it emphatically, and says that all who do evil hate the light.

God has given every Christian the responsibility to discern what is of His Kingdom, and what is from the kingdom of darkness. Most of us are able to do this, but we sometimes shut-off our spiritual senses. We want to maintain our associations with darkness, and we enjoy the company of those who do not hunger for righteousness. As single women desiring to be married, we must be incredibly careful about this. The enemy knows our weaknesses, and he knows how to lure us in and trap us. We should not make the dangerous mistake of assuming he will be merciful in his attack. If we have not properly guarded our hearts, and have made an emotional investment in someone who secretly hates the light, the consequences are very painful and last longer than any of us would care to imagine.

Our Lord and Savior didn’t mince words when it comes to light and darkness. The Pharisees were an extremely arrogant group of people who hated Jesus Christ. They were blinded by satan, and would try and trap Jesus Christ with questions. If he gave an answer against their beliefs and laws, they would attempt to imprison him, but he was so razor-sharp that they were never able to manipulate his wisdom. In John 8:43-45(NLT), he told the Pharisees, “Why can’t you understand what I am saying? It’s because you can’t even hear me! For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. So when I tell the truth, you just naturally don’t believe me!”

The devil hates the light, and so does his children. God is not telling us to isolate ourselves from those who desperately need to hear the truth, but He has told us in Romans 12:2 that we must never let anything or anyone in the world conform us. Instead, we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We are beacons of light and love. 1Thessalonians 5:5(NLT) tells us, “For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.” So our responsibility is to share the gospel with those who thirst after it, but for those who deny it or want no parts of it, we’re to dust off any residue of their darkness and keep it moving.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Dust It off and Keep It Moving”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

July 9, 2018
New Opportunities and Connections, Don’t Let’em Slip by

Something pretty wonderful is happening, and although many people are not talking about it yet, they will. A spiritual shift has occurred. In Acts 2:17(NLT), God told us through the Apostle Paul, “In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.” We are witnessing this incredible outpouring today. There are some individuals that are still going about business as usual. They haven’t noticed a change because their eyes are blinded to it, but there are others that are right smack in the thick of God’s glory. They are taking His promises by faith, and the Holy Spirit is manifesting in powerful ways. Some of the byproducts of this dynamic move are new commitments, new opportunities, and new connections.

Make no mistake about it, God has heard the prayers of men and women who desire to be partnered with someone that is truly special. He has not withheld the blessing, and sometimes this is the underlying thought of many people with this prayer request. In their hearts, some people believe that God is in heaven withholding the blessing of a spouse. It is the responsibility of every single person to look under the hood, examine what’s really in their hearts, and begin to chip away ferociously at any blockages in their beliefs.

We know that God doesn’t violate free-will choice. He’s not going to violate the laws that He’s put into place to govern the universe and everything in it. In Old Testament times, after the Children of Israel were delivered by God through Moses from the tyranny of a hateful pharaoh, they camped out in the wilderness for a while. God promised to give them a land so lush and bountiful that it was called ‘the land of milk and honey’, and is formally known as ‘The Promise Land’. Heavenly Father made this promise to them. He gave them this beautiful land. If Heavenly Father gives you something, then you can trust with everything in your being that its YOURS! But we must also note that God would not pick up the Children of Israel and supernaturally plant them in the Promised Land. Even though they did not have the bible in written form, and they didn’t have the indwelling Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and direct them internally, they had to take the Promise Land by faith. If they, having access to far less than us, were expected to do this, how much more are we?

Two Godly people coming together to formalize a union in Christ is ordained of God. You are not capable of desiring this for yourself as much as God desires it for you. So, it cannot be that He is withholding this blessing. And believe it or not, the devil is not the greatest foe in this quest. Internal resistances are more than likely the greatest contributing factors. This will require a person to look inwardly and be incredibly (and sometimes brutally) honest about aspects of the love of God they’ve not allowed to reign in their hearts.

Galatians 5:6(MSG), tells us, “For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.” This means that we individually have the privilege and honor to wrap our believing in the love of Jesus Christ. Part of clothing our faith in love is ensuring that we’re not harboring unforgiveness and resentment. When we don’t forgive, we deny others the thing that provided us access to God. This will place a shield over our eyes and block us from accessing opportunities and gateways to marital partnership.

1John 4:18 tells us that there is no fear in love; absolutely none. The greatest blocker to God’s love is fear. Fear is the root of all sin. There are no exceptions to this truth. Just as faith expressed through love is a magnet that draws blessings, fear expressed through sin is a repellent of blessings.

Faith works through love. The way to capture the momentum of faith as it brings our hopes into fruition, is to see ourselves and others through the eyes of God’s love. 1 John 4:7-10 (MSG) says, “My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love.” There is no power greater than God’s love. His outpouring is available to you right this moment. If you will make a greater commitment to seek Him diligently, He will help you bulldoze internal blockers. Your faith will be perfected, and your eyes will be opened to see and make the most of new opportunities and connections.■

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

“New Opportunities and Connections, Don’t Let’tem Slip by”, written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!

July 2, 2018