Building Love and Keeping It Strong

One of the most sound pieces of advice that I can give to single women is to be as discreet and private as possible when it comes to your personal life; especially at the very beginning of a new relationship. I’ve counseled many women in this area, many of them have lived to regret being so open and candid to their friends about the new man in their life. If you heed my advice, it’s very possible that you may come across as secretive to some. That’s ok! Discretion is very important to God. We know this because there’s a lot He has placed in His Word for us to know, but there are many more mysteries that He hasn’t revealed; and He has good reason.

Jesus Christ gave us a warning in Mathew 6:1-4(NLT). This passage tells us, “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. 2 When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get. 3 But when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. 4 Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.”

The context of this passage is about giving, sharing, and being of service. That sounds a whole lot like marriage, doesn’t it?!! Our Master Jesus cuts right down to the meat of the matter as he warns us about our motives for putting our kind deeds on blast. We’re very often motivated out of a need to be admired by others. We want them to be impressed with what we’ve got going on. Jesus has stamped this practice with a serious “NO!”

Marriage is increase! It’s the most substantial investment in another’s life that a person can make. As a good steward, we should endeavor to show ourselves worthy. Part of this good practice is keeping quiet about certain details regarding what God is doing in this area of our lives. Jesus tells us that if we’re continually spilling the beans and showboating, that’s all the reward we’ll get. This is not what we want, Sisters. We should want God to reward us by preserving our relationships and causing them to flourish in every way.

Jesus instructs us not to let the left hand know what the right hand is doing. The wisdom of this is breathtaking. Jesus knows that the enemy can’t steal what he can’t see. As Godly women partnering with the Lord to protect our unions, we should not let our business slip out in the open; then we won’t let the devil see what is unspoken. A person can give the enemy eyes to see and ears to hear if they’re always speaking about their hidden treasures. The longer you keep it quiet, the more chance you give yourself and the relationship to grow.

We also have to make sure that what we’re dealing with is truly a presentation of the Lord. There’s always a possibility that the person we think is Mr. Right is actually Mr. Right for Now, but not for the future. We need time to access and test.

Being discreet about our new relationships has nothing to do with fear. God tells us in 1John 4:18(NLT) that “Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”  Love obliterates fear, but we have a responsibility to walk in a spiritually mature Christ-kind-of-love. This means we must comprehend that being discreet is a discipline that goes with love. Again, being discreet helps us to build a relationship, and keep it strong. If you’ll pray about this, the indwelling Holy Spirit will help you stay on the right path. So make a conscious effort to have self-control in this area. Let the Spirit guide you regarding what you can, can’t or shouldn’t say regarding your new relationship. If the Spirit doesn’t release you to speak it forth, keep it quiet.■

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Building Love and Keeping it Strong” written by FACM, Finding A Christian Man.Com ©2018.  All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!


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