Find A Christian Man

Tag: Christian Advice for Singles

  • More Than What You Asked for

    More Than What You Asked for

    A close sister in Christ was very upset when she told me the man that she’s been dating over a year informed her he wanted to take a break. Immediately my heart went out to her, because I know oh too well the heartbreaking emotions she’s going through. Many of us have been blindsided this way, and you feel as though your love and the energy you put in the relationship was taken for granted. You might even begin to question your decision-making when it comes to relationships with men. Hearing the pain in my sister-friend’s voice brought back memories I’d rather forget. Personally, I told the Lord that if it means having to deal with something like this in my life, I’m completely okay with it just being Him and me. I know from experience that when we make our relationship with God our number one priority, we can avoid painful breakups with a person that was never intended for us in the first place.

    Heavenly Father wants all who desire marriage to have a beautiful union that is anchored in the Lord Jesus Christ. In other words, it is God’s Will for us to have a strong marriage with a good spouse if that is what we desire. He will take care of all the details of this blessing if we trust and honor Him. We must wait upon the Lord in all things. When we don’t do this, and we try to rush things, we can become attached to someone who doesn’t have the same desire for marriage as we might, and this can be devastating. And I also know that such attachments become a significant hindrance when the desire and motivation to make God the central focus of your life isn’t a priority.

    The psalmist said in Psalm 139:24(NLT), “Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” This is the heart that I always want to have for God and His Word. A person has to take some knocks in life sometimes before they will understand that without God, nothing works. We can’t do anything without Him, and He demands to be first in our lives, because He cannot ever be second in anything. He’s the One True God, Alpha and Omega. He’s all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere present. Everything we do in life must indicate we understand who He is, and everything we do must signal heaven and everything beneath it that we are humbled before our Almighty God.

    Jesus Christ commands us in Matthew 6:33(NLT), “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” This is more than a commandment; it is the foundation upon which anything that we desire to last in life must be built. Healing begins and newness is ushered into a person’s life when they can acknowledge they’ve not been as faithful to God as they should. Then they can take the necessary actions to remedy this, but we can’t keep doing the same things and expect a different result.

    In 1Kings 3:9(NLT), it is evident that King Solomon had a heart to put God first when he asked Heavenly Father, “Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?” This pleased God very much, because the humility to seek Him and to serve righteously was apparent in Solomon. God replied in 1Kings 3:11-13(NLT), “Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies—I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! And I will also give you what you did not ask for—riches and fame! No other king in all the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life!” This passage demonstrates for us the way in which God blesses when we seek Him and His righteousness first.

    Our hiccups and mistakes teach us righteousness. God does not cause them, but in order for us to usher in His grace and restoration, we must do as the psalmist said and ask Him to point out anything that offends Him in our lives. It is a very common and evil plot of the devil to weaponize relationships against us. Although it can be troubling to admit to ourselves, we provide the devil the ammunition he is looking for. As we spiritually mature, we learn from experience that the devil gets in where there’s an opening. We would do well to remain prayerful and humble before the Father so He can help us through His Holy Spirit to close that opening. The thing to do is to not close our eyes to it, because if we do, we will be outsmarted.

    I’ve mentioned often that I’ve heard many women ask the question “How much longer is God going to take before I meet my husband?”  It’s a question that all of us can understand and sympathize with, especially for women who’ve prayed a long time and are still unmarried. It’s probably one of the most frustrating areas in a single woman’s life. But there’s no secret to this. God must be first in our hearts and minds. There is no compromising on this standard. It’s a must. So, we have to ask if we’ve put the energy, effort, and focus in our relationship with God that we’ve put in our pursuit of a relationship with a man. The right answer lies in the reality that we should always invest more in our relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ than we do in any other. He tells His people in Jeremiah 29:11-14(NLT), “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “11 They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. 14 I will be found by you,” says the LORD.” This is true for those of us living today.

    The man that my friend was dating may have faked his commitment to her and led her to believe he was all in when he wasn’t. We’ve seen how hurtful and disappointing it is when we are treated this way. When it comes to God, we must make absolutely sure that we never attempt to do this to Him. He must have first place in our lives, and when He does, we will know it, because He will give us more than what we asked for. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “More Than What You Asked For”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • When Love Is Not on Automatic

    When Love Is Not on Automatic

    Colossians 2:7(NLT) tells us, “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” This scripture tells us God’s goal for us as His sons and daughters. Our roots should grow down into Christ. What are our roots? Our roots are the aspects of our being that keep us connected to God through Jesus Christ. They include the mind and heart. God commands us to put the knowledge and wisdom of His Word in our minds and hearts, because both have the capacity to nourish and strengthen all the other areas of our lives. When the roots of a tree are nourished, the trunk is unmovable, and all the other parts of the tree are strong as well. This is a good analogy of how we become firmly rooted and anchored in Christ and grow strong in his love. When we keep our roots growing down into Christ, we can be the kind of spouses God desires, and through us, He can keep our marriages secure in the unity of Christ.

    Ephesians 5:25-26(NLT) says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” The love that Jesus Christ has for the church is the kind of love women should want to see from the significant person in their lives. Christ sacrificed everything because of his great love for us, and God is telling us that, as women, we should have an expectation that our husbands will demonstrate this same quality of love. They may not be perfect at it, but they will continually grow better at loving us because of our commitment to put Christ first. This kind of relationship is available, because if it wasn’t, God would not have told us so. You will know that you’ve got a good catch when the significant person in your life sacrifices for your benefit and well-being; and you should be willing to do the same.

    It’s no secret that we’ve seen a decline in quality relationships, the kind that endure hardships and last a lifetime. We have also witnessed a decline in the level of respect, honor, and appreciation that men and women have for one another. The problem is a spiritual one, and the solution begins with prayer. Each of us has a responsibility to pray that God will open the eyes of people so they can make greater room in their hearts for His love. People are turning their backs on God; therefore, they are turning their backs on His love. This is the major contributing factor in finding compatible mates. We need to pray that globally people will be transformed by God’s love, and that they will hand over the lordship of their marital relationships to Jesus Christ.

    Human beings will always seek to be rooted and grounded in something, because God created us with a nature that seeks connection. We thrive from our connection to God through Jesus Christ, and we are also fulfilled through our connections with others. The issues arise when we seek to be rooted and grounded in the man rather than in the Lord Jesus Christ. When we do this, we remove Christ from his rightful position as Lord over our lives. Sometimes, we make this decision unconsciously. Slowly, we place our spiritual walk in Christ on the backburner and put the needs of the man first. Many of us do this because we think the connection to the man will fortify and nurture those places that feel empty and void within us. We must realize that only the Lord Jesus Christ can fill up our empty places.

    Heavenly Father wants us to have successful and lasting marriages. Unity is crucial to moving God’s agenda forward, and unity starts at home. A successful and unified home life is a solid foundation where many treasures for the Kingdom can be stored up. So, we should never doubt that God desires this for us, because He does, but His love absolutely must be at the helm of our marriages and every other thing we set out to do.

    1Thessalonians 5:11(NLT) says, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” It’s God’s Will that two individuals in a relationship be there for one another, but this isn’t permission to let our emotions and feelings get out of control or to make the relationship our whole world. It is a very delicate balance, because we want to please our partners so much, but spiritual maturity in Christ demands that we handle this balance in a way that puts God first. When we ask Heavenly Father to bless us with one of His treasures, we should be asking with both the commitment to Christ and the blessing we want to receive in mind. In other words, we should already know that the blessing we desire will require us to increase spiritually. This is necessary to remain good stewards of God’s blessings. Increasing spiritually is necessary for us to exercise Christ authority, so that whatever the difficulty and no matter the issues we encounter in the relationship, these challenges will not get the best of us.

    When we’re not rooted and grounded in the love of Jesus Christ, some women will latch on to relationships with men for dear life. Then, when the man disappoints them, or worse, betrays the relationship, they are devastated to the point of collapse. Some women never get over the hurt, but deal with it through bitterness and fear, which paralyzes their spiritual growth in Christ. Our Heavenly Father doesn’t want this for any of us.

    Rather than spending energy blaming the other person or holding resentment towards them, we can make a better choice. As a spiritually mature person, we are required to understand that our own personal brand of love isn’t on automatic and often shuts down when things get ugly. Our brand of love is conditional. When things go south, sometimes our love goes with them. We forget all about our brand of love, and we will get low, go toe to toe, cut the fool, and behave as if we don’t know any better. This doesn’t happen with the love of Christ. 1Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that the love of God in Christ is patient and kind. It doesn’t insist on its own way, isn’t irritable or resentful, and it never gives up. Relationships have a way of reminding us of the ‘old man’ nature, and how much of it has seeped into our unions. We have to remind ourselves that the ‘old man’ nature was crucified with Christ. Then we must choose to remain in the love of Christ which makes us complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

    Only God’s love can keep a relationship thriving. When we’re faced with those difficult relationship issues, it can be very challenging to kick our Christ identity in high gear, but it gets a whole lot easier if we’re rooted and grounded in his love. The greatest thing we can do as unmarried people is to use our time wisely by doing what is required to be anchored in an intimate relationship with God. We must do the things necessary to be rooted in Christ. Our commitment and trust must be solidified first in our relationship with him, then our faith in God’s love, provision, and care will never be shaken or doubted for any reason. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

     “When Love Is Not on Automatic”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Taking Ten Steps Backwards Instead of Forward

    Taking Ten Steps Backwards Instead of Forward

    Do you think it’s a good idea to contact an old boyfriend just to say hello? This is what a sister-friend did recently, and she’s starting to regret she ever made that decision. Initially, she thought it’d be okay since the two of them ended their relationship on good terms. Their last conversation had been pleasant, and she thought it wouldn’t hurt to check in. Anyone that’s ever been lonely knows that it can mess with your head sometimes. But even so, we should never let anything persuade us to try and make dead things be useful. It hardly ever works, but loneliness can trick us into throwing wisdom out the door, and we find all kinds of excuses to justify doing so. My sister-friend said to me, “Kim, God is not going to do for me what I can do for myself.” This way of thinking was the permission she gave herself to text him.

    Like my friend, many single women can’t imagine continuing to wait for companionship. Most believers understand that God is delighted to bless His people. Romans 8:32(NLT) says, “Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else?”  Psalm 84:11 affirms God’s sovereignty and light. It tells us that He is our sun and shield, that He is generous in His gifts and glory, and He will not withhold any good thing from those that live righteously before Him. This is wonderful assurance and comfort to us as believers.

    God wants us to have faith in Him, and to trust the Words of our Master Jesus when he taught us in Mark 10:27 that with God all things are possible. Our faith must be firmly anchored in God through Christ, and of this there can be no doubt, but Heavenly Father wants us to know the difference between standing in faith and doing things to get ahead of it.  

    Spiritual maturity in Christ requires that we know that our boundaries and timing are set by the Father. He appointed the time of our births, and He knows our days upon this earth. Nothing about us escapes our Heavenly Father. He knows every detail of our existences, and He never misses a beat. We are not an island to ourselves. We are not on our own. All that we are is in Christ and we can’t do anything without him. If God’s Will is our motivation in life, the proof of our heart’s motivation will be our desire to link only with those God has ordain.

    Jesus Christ said in John 8:29(NLT), “And the one who sent me is with me—he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him.” Jesus Christ only did those things that pleased God. The logical question for you and me is “how did he know?”  How did Jesus Christ know what pleased God? The answer to this question is that he read and studied God’s Word, and he was in constant prayer and communion with Heavenly Father through the Holy Spirit. Jesus came to the earth to show us how to do this. Through his life and ministry, he taught us how to cling to God and walk in fellowship with Him so that we have confidence that our moves are ones the Father would have us to make.

    Jesus Christ also said in John 5:19(NLT), “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does.” Jesus Christ is providing a window for us to see what it looks like to move by the impetus of the Holy Spirit. If he, the only begotten Son of the Living God, said that he can’t do anything by himself, then certainly we ought to know we can’t do anything by ourselves either. Jesus did what he saw the Father doing. If He didn’t see the Father doing it, he didn’t do it. This is the level of commitment that God must see in us.

    We can’t say that we have faith God will bless us with a good and Godly spouse and then not have faith that He will show us when, how, and what to do to move in alignment with what He has ordained. When it comes to something as important to our lives as a compatible and worthy partner to walk with us through life, God would not leave it to chance. My friend didn’t place her faith in the reality of this truth. After speaking with her ex-boyfriend, she felt relieved that he didn’t meet her with opposition, but he also didn’t give her any indication that he was happy that she reached out to him. She ended the conversation with him the same way she started it—taking ten steps backwards instead of moving forward. She came away feeling rejected because her ex didn’t respond to her other texts. This kind of situation can always be avoided.

    Understand that Heavenly Father wants us to move from blessing to blessing, with the abundance of overflow in every area of our lives. God only wants what is best for us, and He made provision for all His children long before any of us were born. There is no doubt that we have been pressing in to receive the great desires of our hearts, but our prayers must come in alignment with what GOD has planned. He is faithful and He cannot fail. Pray that He will establish within you everything that is required for your own spiritual growth and maturity. If you allow Him, He will ready you for what He has in store, so that your gifts and abilities are sharpened. When you let HIM prosper you, everything will fall beautifully in place. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Taking Ten Steps Backward Instead of Forward”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Listen Up!

    Listen Up!

    I had a conversation the other day with someone I’ve known for many years. She’s been keeping herself busy with her newly remodeled bathroom, a hefty project she undertook to take her mind off things. Not being able to see many of her friends and family during the pandemic has been particularly tough on her. She also mentioned that she’s started to date again. Her two-year relationship ended a year ago, and she’s trying not to make the same mistakes twice. Hopeful and more aware, she said to me, “I have promised myself that the next relationship I’m in, I’ll do more listening than talking.”

    James 1:19-24 The Message (MSG) tells us, “Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like.”

    God gives us specific instructions in this passage. It’s the good stuff we need to digest for the significant relationship we hope to have and make last. Heavenly Father tells us to lead with our ears, to listen first, and then use a wise economy of words second. Many of us have failed to do this and have paid a hefty price in our relationships. You can’t be an effective communicator if you lack the patience to be a good listener. Many of us are not attentive in this area, and because we haven’t been good listeners, some of us have left an impression of arrogance and stubbornness instead of humility and compassion. We can change this, and we should.

    In today’s world, often the primary objective is to make sure your point comes across and that you are heard loud and clear. It’s not hard to see why many believe that listening to others has become a lost art. Listening is more than just hearing; it’s being attentive to details and taking in what is being communicated in a way that is thoughtful, respectful, and appreciative of points of views that are different than your own. Most of us have either experienced or witnessed the frustration of trying to convey something that is important to us, and the person we’re speaking to isn’t receiving what we’re communicating. Instead, they may talk over you, don’t allow you to finish your sentences, become angry or totally shut down and refuse to further communicate. This kind of temperament isn’t sustainable in a relationship.

    Psalm 25:9(NLT) says, “He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them his way.” God will always lead those who desire to be led. It takes humility to please Him and to allow our lives to be guided by His nature. Learning the patience, compassion, and thoughtfulness to become a good listener is required for marital preparation and becoming the kind of spouse that God desires. The practice of listening is crucial to maintaining our relationship with Heavenly Father, and it is very important for maintaining our relationships with our future spouses. We must be committed hearers and doers of the Word of God. Our humility to listen to His instruction and follow the example of Christ will help us to be attentive and compassionate listeners in our marital relationships. ■

    Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Listen Up!”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Eat the Bitterness or the Sweetness of Life

    Eat the Bitterness or the Sweetness of Life

    Before I moved away from my old neighborhood, I was blessed with very loving and kind neighbors, an elderly couple that lived across the street. They were married over sixty years and had raised two very successful sons that moved to other states to establish their respective families. I learned so much from this couple about unity, marriage, and raising a family. They talked frequently about how much they valued God’s peace and their love for His standards. With two years between them, when they first met, she was twenty-one years old and he was twenty-three. She said she fell in love with his quiet spirit and the consistent manner in which he pursued her. They’ve passed on from this life, but the lesson I learned from them about the standard of consistency is one I pray will bless you as much as it did me.

    My grandmother would say, “God don’t bless no mess.” She would say this when church folk would behave unGodly, yet they expected to move in the blessings of God. As many of us go through our everyday lives, we don’t give this much thought, but we must never forget that God holds us to a standard. As part of our spiritual discipline and practice, we must constantly hold ourselves to the scrutiny of the example of Christ contained in God’s Word.

    2Corinthians 13:5(NIV) tells us, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?” This testing of ourselves isn’t offered in 2Corinthians 13:5 as a suggestion. It’s a requirement. Our journey in Christ is one of learning, forgiveness, humility, and correction. Our blessings are tied to these four, and learning, forgiveness, humility, and correction all breed the kind of consistency God is looking to see in us. We must examine ourselves using them as our barometer, because this can point to why our blessings might be delayed.

    Nothing in a person’s life happens randomly. God allowed this couple to be in my life to teach me spiritual lessons I needed to learn for my journey in Christ. It is impossible to grow in Christ and excel in his faith without saturating our minds with knowledge about him. The more we know about him, the more like him we become, and this is God’s goal and standard for our lives. If we get away from this, we step outside the boundaries of God’s plan. And if we step outside the boundaries of God’s plan and purpose, instead of being attracted to us, blessings are repelled.

    Heavenly Father blesses His Word. Whenever and wherever His Word is obeyed and trusted, His blessings will abound. James 1:5(NIV) tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”  Some of us never think to ask Him to show us where and when we’re not clinging to His Word, but this is where we should place a great deal of focus. And not only should we ask Him to reveal how and when we’ve gotten off track, but we should position ourselves to receive the truth of what He will reveal. Sometimes this truth isn’t comfortable. In fact, in most instances it convicts us, but the conviction is good for our souls because it shows we are humble and teachable. It shows we are willing to correct ourselves in the areas where we’ve fallen short.

    Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. Faith cannot come by any other means. We must hear and digest the knowledge that is going to help us correct those habits and behaviors that keep us from walking in faith and truth. Proverbs 1:31-32(NIV) tells us, “31 they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes. 32 For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them;” This passage shows us that our lives are molded and shaped based on the patterns and behaviors we have. Our attitudes, thoughts, conversations, confessions, and behaviors will increase either our blessings or our bitterness. We eat the fruit from our choices, and the bellies of our lives will be filled by the plans we hatch to do good or wrong. So, we can’t afford to let the lessons of consistency in our allegiance to God slip by. These lessons give us spiritual strength and help us in all our relationships, especially marriage.

    The couple I loved so dearly told me that even when they were both so young, they had a strong sense of right and wrong. They valued treating people the way they wanted to be treated. As God’s people, we can never venture too far from the purity of this standard. As women of faith, we can’t afford to sleep on the reality that a man will show us his standard right from the very beginning. He will pursue us consistently and cling to the Godliness we have cultivated in our womanhood. This is why we must be ever so careful to seek God now and work this out within our hearts and minds, because doing so makes sure we are laying up treasures in heaven and setting ourselves up for the sweetness of God’s rewards. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    “Eat the Bitterness or the Sweetness of Life”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Balance Requires the Right Measurement

    Balance Requires the Right Measurement

    When the Children of Israel were in the wilderness, God fed them manna from heaven. 2Corinithans 3:5 tells us that God is our sufficiency. He takes care of our every need. He does this for each of us, and He did it for His people that were living during Old Testament times. The scriptures tell us that the manna God rained from heaven completely nourished the people. None of them got sick and they had plenty to feed their families. The truth we need to digest from this wonderful record of God’s provision is that He hasn’t changed. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. Modern day thinking has caused some to conclude that when it comes to His provision, marriage is excluded, but this isn’t the truth. If there’s any semblance of this notion in our minds and hearts, we need to abolish those thoughts and renew our minds to God’s Word.

    God has given us His Word so that we can walk with Him and learn to structure our lives so that we walk in His truth and not become blinded by the tricks of the devil. Numbers 23:19(NLT) tells us, “God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind.” Modern times may bring higher levels of intelligence and convenience, but God is not moved by any of it. We are modernized only to the extent that He allows us access to His wisdom through Jesus Christ. History has proven that as we know more, we think of more clever ways to destroy one another and turn our backs on God. As believers, we can never allow humanity’s advances to cause the truth of God’s goodness and sovereignty to slip in our minds and hearts.

    Marriage is the institution God set up from the very beginning, with Adam and Eve. Marriage belongs to Him, and He has given it to us because it serves His plan and purpose. Heavenly Father is not like us. We vacillate constantly with our plans, intentions, and desires; but God never does. Marriage is a blessing, and again, like all blessings, it belongs to God. We are absolutely in right standing to pray in the powerful name of Jesus Christ for this blessed union to come to pass in our lives.

    Some of us think and pray for marriage as if it’s a new thing that God has to do in our lives. Marriage has already been established in His Word as part of His Will. It is as organic and natural to life as breathing. Many have tried to take marriage outside the boundaries of God’s plan, and they are missing the blessing altogether. It would be absurd to think for one moment that God doesn’t know the best person for our lives and hasn’t included this in His plan for us. He knows us far better than we could ever know ourselves, and there are some qualities in our personhood that have yet to mature. There are areas where we should have grown beyond the baby’s milk stage, but we haven’t. It impossible for God to fail and He never makes a mistake. Marriage will naturally come into our lives when walking in His Will through Jesus Christ is the greatest desire of our lives. This is the level of spiritual maturity that puts out the welcome mat for God’s treasures.

    In many instances, many single believers are out of balance when it comes to their expectations for marriage. They want to receive much but give little, and of course, none of us will ever admit to such a thing, but the reality is that being out of balance in this way will not allow for the kind of spiritual maturity marriage requires. In Exodus 16:16-20(NLT), God has given us a tremendous example of how He views balance. This passage tells us, “16 These are the LORD’s instructions: Each household should gather as much as it needs. Pick up two quarts for each person in your tent.” 17 So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. 18 But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed. 19 Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.” 20 But some of them didn’t listen and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Moses was very angry with them.”

    An understanding of God’s Will and Word regarding His provision is absolutely critical. Singledom comes with all kinds of lists, tips, questions, and analysis, and these all claim to move the dial further along. Some of them might actually be helpful, but the reality is that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. Faith requires truth, and only the truth will bring the victory Christ has given us. When we lack the humility to deliver everything over to God, we are prioritizing our agenda over His. We begin asking for all kinds of qualities and characteristics in the person we will marry, when we ourselves are not equal to what we’re asking for. We want someone loving, compassionate, loyal, and generous, when some of us haven’t worked those fruits into our own lives sufficiently.

    God told the people, “Gather what you NEED.” It’s obvious from their actions that they couldn’t be trusted to be true to their own needs. They took more than they needed, and this brought about a stench that the Father would not tolerate. Here’s the thing we can’t afford to miss; God knew their needs, and this was spiritually and perfectly calculated into His provision. Please make sure you don’t miss the revelation of this awesome truth. Because God’s provision could in no way be manipulated, those that gathered a lot, had nothing left, and those that didn’t gather enough had just what they needed.

    The gratitude and understanding of God’s perfection and sovereignty cannot be out of place when we are desiring marriage. The desire for marriage is not outside of God’s Will. It is a benefit of being in His Will. He, and He alone, takes care of what’s in His Will. ■

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Balance Requires the Right Measurement”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Praying to Cross His Path

    Praying to Cross His Path

    For a single Christian woman that is praying to cross paths with her future husband, if you haven’t met him yet, then you’re still in the process of spiritual preparation. You still have the awesome privilege to continue receiving guidance and instruction from the Holy Spirit. He prepares you to be the wife that God wants you to be. Many single sisters in Christ have questioned this. They don’t understand why spiritual preparation is necessary for marriage, and if it is, why is it taking so long? Spiritual preparation consists of the steps we take through Jesus Christ to be strengthened in his faith, power, and ability. Jesus Christ teaches in Luke 12:48 that to whom much is given much is required. Heavenly Father has called each of us to be good stewards of His blessings, and we certainly can’t satisfy this if we lack the spiritual strength and maturity to get it done.

    Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV) says, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Diligently seeking God is required to receive His rewards. Anything less than what He requires will not do. Believers and unbelievers alike attempt to butt up against this truth, but it is unyielding. God has a plan for each of us. Age, background, status, or any other human standard doesn’t matter. The Will of God requires that our feet are firmly planted on the path to God’s purpose in order to receive His rewards. One of the ways we ensure we’re on this path is to examine and correct the actions we’re taking to make room for the husband we hope to meet.

    Don’t be a wanderer
    The children of Israel wandered around in circles in the desert for 40 years because they couldn’t get on board with having faith in God. Heavenly Father’s Word tells us that they were so indoctrinated with the mindset of their prior enslavement that they wouldn’t handle the task of changing their thought paradigm. The practice of wandering was more comfortable to them than the practice of reaching and stretching forth to newness. They refused to release old dead things, and therefore were ill-prepared with the spiritual strength to reach out and grab what God promised. It was their responsibility to prepare, and they refused to do it. Because of this refusal, those who would not change did not receive the promise.

    God is perfect, and so is His path and purpose. The plan He has for your life is a good plan, but it is in no way arbitrary or random. We can’t do whatever we want to do and expect that it fulfills our call. The question to ask is whether we have the humility to ask God what He requires us to do and whether we have the patience to wait for His answer. We can’t keep wandering, being inconsistent and vacillating back and forth in our obligation to the faith. God requires more of us, and we must seek Him and be guided by Him to achieve His purpose. Our spiritual growth in Christ is what’s most important to God, and He is going to require us to lean into Him in a greater way and to step outside our comfort zones to seek His purpose.

    Don’t misuse the gift
    1Corinthians 7:3-5 (NLT) says,“3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

    We can think, say, and feel however we like on the subject of sexual intimacy, but God is the only One who can set the standard for how this aspect of marriage should be handled. Whether we want to admit it or not, corporately, we’re paying a hefty price for taking what God ordained for marriage and using it for quick pleasure with individuals that were never destined to be our spouses. Heavenly Father specifically tells us in 1Corinthians 7:4 that a woman has authority over her body. He commands that she give this authority to her husband, and the husband will do the same. In your quiet time, make a mental note of the individuals that were not your husband, yet you gave them this authority in the past. Forgive yourself for your errors in judgement, but most importantly, repent for misusing the gift of your incredible womanhood to appease someone who didn’t honor you the way Christ does.

    The husband that God has ordained for your destiny is worthy of the authority you are commanded by God to give him. Now is the time to honor your future husband, even though you may not have crossed his path. Make a commitment that you will not give to another what belongs to him alone.

    Marriage belongs to God, don’t try to take it
    Loneliness, isolation, unfulfilled desires and dreams, these are among the many things that can make us feel sad. Understand with all that you are that there is no cure for all that makes us sad outside of Jesus Christ. He is the answer and following him leads us to freedom in every area of our lives. All things have been placed under his feet, and this includes marriage. It doesn’t matter how many dating sites a single person has signed up for, if the person she meets isn’t aligned with God’s plan for her life, this person will not be the blessing she hopes he will be.

    Marriage belongs to God. It brings glory to Him or else He would not have sanctioned it. How much faith do you have in the institution of marriage that God has ordained, and how willing are you to change in order to have the kind of marriage God wants you to have? Jesus Christ is our example, and this example is not outdated in the least bit. The example of Christ is life for us, and we can only access the more than abundant life by living in and through him. Are you willing and able to offer another individual the love of Christ in such a way that they are inspired to keep him continually at the center of their lives? Even if you’re not quite there, you must be on your way. The spiritual disciplines you practice must be firmly anchored in your everyday life, so that you are not moved from Christ, no matter who loves you or who doesn’t.

    Make no mistake, God is more committed to preserve and protect you than you are to preserve and protect yourself. He knows that the wrong person can cause you dreadful harm and the right person can cause you tremendous good. Make sure you never attempt to take what belongs to God and make it your own. Don’t try to get ahead of the Holy Spirit, for that is always a reckless and futile endeavor. Focus on God by staying in His Word, praying often, and following the example of Christ. Heavenly Father knows how to bless us with marriage. He does it His way, and His way alone. Be dutiful to stay in your lane. Honor the privilege and responsibility to remain spiritually prepared for what God has in store. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Praying to Cross His Path”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Looking Like A Trick Or A Blessing

    Looking Like A Trick Or A Blessing

    I heard a young man talk about his perception of how a Godly woman behaves verses how a woman of the world behaves. A woman of the world is a woman that adopts society’s standards over God’s standards. She loves what the world loves, and she hates what the world hates. A Godly woman is a woman who lives according to the standard and example of Christ; she loves what God loves. Well, this young man said he believes social media plays a major role in a woman’s identity these days, even down to the way she dresses. He believes that many Godly women are abdicating God’s standard and allowing them to be eroded in their lives. Like me, I’m sure you’ve heard these criticisms. Some of our veterans have complained that Christian women are wearing revealing clothes that suggest they are everything but a woman of God. It’s not a new practice to allow clothing to make a statement about who we are or how we want to be perceived. However, we can never escape the reality that the benefits of being and looking Godly will forever outweigh those of being and looking sexy.

    1Peter 2:9-10(NLT) tells us, “9 But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 10 “Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. Once you received no mercy; now you have received God’s mercy.” Heavenly Father makes it clear that we are to present ourselves in such a way that our appearance matches our identity. He accepts us as we are, but He’s also happy when we look our best, and He wants us to have the best. Our mission should not be to glorify the flesh, but to glorify God in all that we do. We are commanded to show others the goodness of God. As God’s daughters, the world’s standard should not be dictating how we dress when it comes to pleasing God with our appearance. We should be leaning on the Spirit, and our hearts should be sensitive enough to perceive the Spirit’s conviction when we’re not on point.

    In the Old Testament, when God established His tabernacle on earth, He set apart a high priest. This high priest was designated and responsible for bringing the people’s sins before the Lord, he would seek God’s forgiveness on their behalf. The Old Testament outlines how very specific God is about the details, and they had to be followed to the letter, or else the priest would die instantly. God’s instructions specified the duties, requirements, and even the clothing for the priest, right down to the colors of purple, scarlet, and blue. The artisans had to be skilled and they had to capture the majesty that God specifically wanted to be conveyed. The message is clear that how we represent ourselves to the world means something to God, therefore, it ought to mean something to us as well.

    At the end of the day, we are all going to do what we want, and we wear what we feel is right for us, but we have to ask ourselves which do we want to be the focus, our Godliness or how our outfit accentuates our curves. Can we have it both ways?  2 Corinthians 5:10(ESV) tells us, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” We’re on the earth for just a little while, and we need to make it count towards the purpose for which God has assigned. If something isn’t going to help us achieve the goals and rewards of Godly living, what’s the point?

    All of us want a blessing from Heavenly Father. And in our preparation of receiving one of His treasures, we must consider the reality that everything that looks like a blessing isn’t one. Sometimes it is a trick from satan to swindle us out of the real blessing that God has for us. We shouldn’t want to cast our poles in a big pond and hook the wrong fish. By the same token, we, ourselves, shouldn’t want to look like a trick rather than looking like the Proverbs 18:22 treasure God desires us to be. We must not be deceived, the enemy wants to kill, steal, and destroy God’s people, and he looks for an opening in our lives. And yes, sometimes it can be a worldly habit or pattern of behavior that we continually indulge that causes the doors to our lives to swing open, giving satan the opportunity to pounce and devour. We can be smarter than this, and we should.

    The times have indeed changed, but God never changes, neither does His Word or His standards. God warns us in Philippians 2:3(NLT), “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.” There’s nothing wrong with being sharp as all get out, and having that hair and makeup game tight, but not to the point where humility has taken a backseat, and others can’t perceive God’s grace because of the noise of our appearance. No matter where we go or what we do, our appearance and how we dress makes a statement. We would do well to make sure that it’s a statement that magnifies the goodness, purity, and holiness of God. ■

    English Standard Version (ESV)
    The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Looking Like A Trick Or A Blessing”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • I Want All of You, Forever

    I Want All of You, Forever

    Romantic movies have had a big impact on the way many of us view relationships between men and women. We are captivated by the lengths the leading male character will go to in order to show and prove his love for the female lead. Most of us long for this kind of romance with the person we hope to marry. In one of the romantic movies I watched recently, the man said something along the lines of, “I know it isn’t going to be easy. Sometimes it will be really hard, and we’ll have to work at this every day, but I want to do this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. I want you. I want all of you, forever. I want it to be you and me.” The actor said this with such emotion and depth that your heart just melted. You couldn’t help but ask yourself, “What would I do if someone said that to me and actually meant it?”

    We want so desperately for another human being to show us this kind of love, but the truth is that this is exactly how Jesus Christ feels about us. He said in John 15:13(KJV), “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” He loves us so intensely that nothing on earth compares and nothing can ever separate us from His love, for all eternity. God has given us the creativity and imaginations to produce such things as romance novels and movies. They help us to grow in our appreciation and gratitude for the level of love that He has for us all.

    Falling in love gives us ooey gooey feelings of sweetness, but as yummy as it is, it doesn’t really capture the essence of the love of Christ. Jesus commands us to love each other with his kind of love, because his brand of love is everlasting. His brand of love will cause us to put the welfare of others before our own. Jesus Christ invites us to try his kind of love on for size so we can see that it fits. He wants us to get excited about it, because if we’ve accepted him in our hearts, we carry his brand of love with us everywhere we go. We can love just the way he loves.

    Ephesians 5:2(NLT) tells us to, “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” Movies aren’t real, but the love of God in Christ is more real than anything that exists. It is because of this love that you and I are living today. We can enjoy a romantic movie and be entertained and sometimes enriched by them. But we can only experience this enrichment because our Lord and Master set the precedent. We recognize intense love in a movie, because the real life and technicolor truth of the love of Jesus Christ saved us and rescued us from darkness.

    Typically, when people make the choice to “fall-in” love, they are forming a bond. Before they even make a lasting commitment, they give their hearts to one another. They don’t recognize that people can fall out of love as quickly and effortlessly as they fall in love. The problem with a ‘falling-in-and-out’ love is that it comes in limited supply. It doesn’t last. A person hopes that the memory of what they shared in the beginning of the relationship is enough to under-gird the storms that come a bit later. The divorce rate suggests this doesn’t happen all the time.

    Romantic love is subject to our own interpretation. It’s defined differently for each person, and it is based on how we choose to respond to someone and how they choose to respond to us. The love of Christ isn’t dependent on give and take. It isn’t based on conditions and circumstances. When Christ dwells in our hearts, we become a part of him. Colossians 3:3(NLT) tells us, “For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.” So then, the love of God in Christ is not just how we respond to others, the love of God in Christ is who we are. Through Christ, we become the embodiment of God’s love. His love helps us to discern and gives us the wisdom to look to Him for what is best for our lives.

    All of us have enjoyed a good romance novel or movie from time to time. I personally like them very much, but it’s really important that we know the difference between infatuation and the kind of love that holds a relationship together for a lifetime. Colossians 2:10 affirms that we are complete through our union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler, power, and authority that exists. Only the love of Christ can make us complete, and you and I must be grounded in his love. God tells us in Colossians 2:7(NLT) to, “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” At the very core of our beings, we must be rooted in Christ. When we are, we will give the kind of love that honors God through Christ, and we can be confident that it will be the kind of love we receive. ■

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “I Want All of You, Forever”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

  • Only One Person Gets the Prize

    Only One Person Gets the Prize

    1Corinthians 9:24(NIV) says, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” All good athletes are disciplined when it comes to their training. One of the defining characteristics about an athlete is they all know they need to train. And they understand that they are not just training for nothing; they are training to win the prize. Even if they only achieve silver medal status, with everything in them, they are training to win the gold. This must be our approach as believers. The eyes of God are upon us, and we should do everything to the best of our ability to please Him. We are on this earth to win the gold, which is highest calling of Jesus Christ. So regardless of what you are believing God to receive, there are elements that He has laid out in 1Corinthians 9:24 that are pivotal to the mindset of pleasing Him and achieving victory in any area of our lives.

    Strict Training
    As we look around at what is happening in our world today, it doesn’t really give us warm, cozy feelings of sweetness; its hardcore stuff going down. As victorious sons and daughters of God, this should serve as a reminder to us that life is not a game. It’s nothing to take lightly. Spiritual warfare is real, and it is taking place before our very eyes. But even with the backdrop of chaos and confusion, God will keep us if we want to be kept. He will protect us, provide for us, and keep us in His perfect peace. He will place a hedge around us if we are faithful to His Word.

    In 1Corinthians 9:25(NIV), the Apostle Paul said, “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” The earth is training ground for the child of God. This is STRICT training down here! It’s for an everlasting crown, so there’s no foolery tolerated. If a person makes the choice not to be guided by the Holy Spirit, and they refuse to obey God’s Word, their lives are in serious danger. Some people leave this earth prematurely, and it is because they will not recognize that strict equates to diligence, and a diligent commitment is something God requires.

    Losing focus loses the race
    Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:8(NLT), “For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.” When you pray repeatedly to cross paths with your future husband, and you pray that your future hubby will spiritually recognize you as his future wife, you must know that God heard you the first time you prayed. You are not praying repeatedly for the same request because you think God is hard of hearing. You are praying repeatedly to demonstrate your diligence and to get your own mind and heart lined up with the blessing you are asking to receive. God knows what we need before we even recognize the need ourselves. He doesn’t need to make any adjustments to give you what you’ve prayed to receive. We are the ones that must adjust.  

    Paul said in 1Corinthians 9:25(NIV), “Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.” A boxer who beats the air never lands a punch towards his or her target. This is what happens when we’re not focusing on God by living the example of Christ. Your focus cannot be the man, it must always be God. Some women are only going through the motions of spiritual discipline to appease God temporarily, thinking this is how they will get what they want. Their hearts are far from Him, and He knows their true motives. The prize will forever and always be a life in the Lord Jesus Christ. Rewards and blessings come from honoring God for the true prize of living forever in Christ.

    Hebrews 11:6(NLT) tells us, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Your mind and heart must be committed to God. This is what the training is all about. It’s learning to become like Christ; this is always the goal. As we grow in one area, another area where growth is needed will come into view. We must be diligent to recognize when we have erred in our feelings, attitudes, and behaviors. Then we must repent and pray to the Father to help us be better. This is diligence, and it must be a habit pattern.

    Don’t be disqualified
    The Apostle Paul understood what it takes to run the race God has set before each of us and win it. He knew that it is God who fights our external battles. Our mission is to stand, believe, and trust Him, so that when He tells us to move, we know exactly what to do and how to do it. You are the one to fight the internal battle in your mind and heart. You must fight to trust God, and this means that you might have to give up some things. You might have to leave some things behind. Letting go of some relationships, people, and other things in our comfort zones will back our faith. It demonstrates that you wholeheartedly believe that the blessing you will receive infinitely outweighs what you have let go.

    You may have a vision of how your relationship should be. You might have a picture in your mind of how the man will look, but every detail of your agenda must be swapped out for God’s agenda. He knows what is best, and your faith in this is non-negotiable. Don’t disqualify yourself from the race by putting limits on God. Don’t yield to your flesh because you think the person is the right fit. Yield to God with humility and a commitment to do what He asks of you. He is in charge of the prize. He has told us how to receive it, and it is guaranteed when we run in such a way as to receive it. ■

    Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

    Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

    “Only One Person Gets the Prize”, written for findchristianman.wordpress.com. Copyright©2022. All rights reserved. All done to the glory of God through Jesus Christ, our Lord.